With or Without You
by Kat0507
Summary: AU: Throughout their childhood, Nathan and Haley had a very deep bond. As they enter their teenage years,they struggle with their feelings and a secret from their childhood. As dark times approach, their bond will tear them apart or cement them together.
1. Prologue

With or Without You

AU: Throughout their childhood, Nathan and Haley had a very deep bond. As they enter their teenage years, they struggle with their feelings and a secret from their childhood. As dark times approach, their bond will tear them apart or cement them together.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

**Summary**: AU. Throughout their childhood, Nathan and Haley had a very deep bond and as they enter their teenage years, everyone just expects them to be a couple. Both Haley and Nathan are unsure of their feelings as they struggle with risking their friendship and dealing with the fallout of a hidden secret from their childhood. As more dark times approach, their bond will be tested and will either ultimately tear them apart or cement them together.

**AN**: Rachel is Nathan's younger sister and the same age as Haley and Lucas. Nathan is about two years older. Lucas and Nathan are cousins raised to hate each other. This is a Naley story and all other OTH characters are minor. This story is part one of four. It is set mostly in high school but has a significant flashforward towards the end. Also, even though Naley are teenagers for most of this part of the story, they deal with some very dark issues so be forewarned! There will also be chapters of a sexual nature later on. This is rated M!

Prologue: "A Dustland Fairytale" (The Killers)

As rage swept through Nathan's veins and poured out every orifice of his body, he swung the bat hitting every body part he could see. Voices surrounded Nathan, but he could not focus on what they were saying and wasn't even sure if they were real. He was letting his emotions control him, something he had tried not to do for such a long time. He could not hear his own thoughts and with his history, that was not a good state for him to be in. Then, with all the noises in his head and around him, he was able to make out a barely audible voice.

"Nathan."

He dropped the bat and bent down to her.

"Haley."

There seemed to be blood everywhere but across Haley's face in particular. Her right eye was already swollen shut but her other eye was closed as well. Haley's hair, which he knew was wet, was a long wavy tangled mess that surrounded her. Her shorts were off and her t-shirt was ripped in half revealing the top half of her bikini. Her stomach was reddening, stemming from the gashes all across it. Nathan was most shocked to notice Haley's right leg which seemed to be hanging out of the knee socket. Her upper and lower legs were in opposite directions as she lay in a heap.

"FUCK! FUCK! WHAT DID I DO?" Nathan screamed at the top of his lungs. He noticed that Haley did not respond at all.

"Haley…Haley, baby, please talk to me. I'm so sorry. Just please let me know you can hear me. I need you. Everybody needs you." He felt for her pulse. He thought he could feel it. Nathan stood up. Decisions needed to be made. He took a moment to survey the scene around him. The SUV was gone. Fuck, when did that happen? Nips and an empty Grey Goose bottle were nearby. Rachel and Haley's beach towels were spread off in the distance. Rachel, shit, where was she?

"Rachel! Rachel! Where are you?" Nathan was no good in a crisis without Haley, he knew that. Over the years, there had been more than one situation where he felt like his life was on the line and each time Haley had been the one to calm him and help him think rationally. But now, here was his other half, lying in a bloodied mess at his feet and it was all _his fault_. He knew he had to push the guilt down to the deepest part of his body in order to save her. Maybe, just maybe, Rachel could actually help him this time. If he could just find her!

"Rachel…" Nathan said loudly but a bit more softly "I know you're scared, but I really need you right now. Haley really needs you right now. Can you please come out?" Nathan knew that if she here, she was probably in some sort of catatonic state, a defensive mechanism that had developed from their childhood. He had never been able to figure out how to get through to her when she was in that state. Usually, he just left her alone and eventually she came out of it on her own. Then, of course, she acted like nothing ever happened. After calling out for her a couple more times, and running around the imminent area looking for her, he gave up and returned to Haley. In the end this was all his fault and he had to be the one to deal with it.

Nathan had no phone and he knew, other than possibly Rachel, there were no people close enough to hear them. The closest roadway was about a mile away. Nathan was torn about what to do. He could leave Haley there and run for help or he try to carry her but he was nervous about that. It wasn't her weight; she was much shorter than him and had a petite frame. From being an athlete Nathan knew never to move an injury until you were cleared to do so. He heard the words "don't move, done move" countless times over the years each time an athlete went down as the team therapist ran out to the field or court. He had had the horrific experience himself last year. Just then, Haley once again helped him to sort out what to do.

"Don't leave me." Nathan swore she whispered it but as he bent down to her, Haley remained completely still.

"Haley, Haley, can you hear me?"

He placed his hand in hers. "Squeeze my hand if you can."

There was no response and Nathan once again panicked and felt for her pulse. It was still there. That was it— he was going to try and carry her to nearest road. That meant he had to leave Rachel behind. He still was not sure she was even there; maybe she was the one who took the SUV. There was no way he could be sure though and his instincts told him that she was curled up in a ball somewhere close. Just when Nathan thought he could not hate himself anymore, he made a conscious decision to leave his sister behind in order to try and save Haley. The irony in this moment considering their past was not lost on him.

Nathan looked at Haley and tried to figure out the best way to lift Haley without risking more injury. He placed one hand under her knees, but was careful not to try and straighten them. Nathan's other hand went under her back.

"Here we go, baby, please stay strong," Nathan whispered into her ear.

As he stood up, Haley lightly moaned. That's was good right? That meant she was semi-conscious. That also meant she was in pain. Nathan tried to move as quickly as possible without jostling her but he was running on a dirt covered trail.

Nathan silently cursed himself for choosing this location. It was a small cove along the Cape Fear River that had a tiny beachfront area off of a trail. Not many people knew about this spot which is exactly why they liked it. The plan had been to take Haley out to the middle of the cove in the rowboat and ask her to the prom. It had only recently dawned on him that he just assumed Haley would be his date, but he had never actually asked her.

With recent events swirling around his mind, Nathan decided to drink a couple of nips to take of the edge. He was sure she would say yes, but he wasn't exactly where they stood in their relationship either. Hard alcohol was his downfall and he should have known Haley would flip out when she smelled it on his breath. She had shouted at the top of her lungs there was no way she would go to prom with him. At which point, Nathan let the alcohol get the best of him and let his rage takeover. That led him to this moment where a beaten Haley laid in his arms, eyes closed, moaning in pain with every slight movement. There was no way Nathan could ever forgive himself for letting it get this far. This of course, had been his greatest fear when it came to dating Haley in high school. This was the end of their relationship. The future they had talked and laughed about over the years was destroyed in a matter of minutes.

Nathan reached the road and as a car slowly approached, Nathan screamed for them to stop. A couple in late forties jumped out of the driver and passenger seats.

"We need to get to a hospital. Is it easier for you to just take her? It's right down the street? I don't want to wait for an ambulance," Nathan's voice creaked.

"Sure, I can put her in my back seats, but I really think we need to keep her as flat as possible. That means I don't have room for you." His wife was already moving things around in the car to so they could place Haley in as gently as possible.

"Fine. I'm not worried about myself anyway. Just get her help." Nathan and the husband worked together to spread Haley out over the back seats. Once she was settled the husband returned to the driver's seat.

Nathan took a quick moment to kiss her on her forehead. The blood was dried now and he could feel the crustiness on his lips. Nathan looked at her and then whispered into in her ear. "Goodbye, Hales. I love you. I'll always love you. Always and forever." Nathan shut the door and turned away from the car.

"Okay. We'll send help. What should I tell them happened?"

"She was beaten with a baseball bat. Look, I have to go back to see if my sister is still there. Just please take her." The car sped off towards the hospital. Nathan stood there for a moment convinced the best part of him was gone forever. He then began running.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Everybody's Changing" (Keane)

AN: If you are nervous about reading this story and are open to spoilers, take a peek at my profile. Warning- it may ruin the story for you. It really depends on what type of reader you are. If you like to flip to the end of the book and read the last chapter before you finish, then you should feel comfortable going to my profile!


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: "Everybody's Changing" (Keane)

Haley subconsciously tugged on the hem of her shirt as she checked for her locker number on her schedule. It was her first day of high school at Tree Hill High and although it was a very small school, she felt lost in this new building, this new place. She searched for someone she recognized but couldn't seem to find anyone. Haley wouldn't really expect to know any of the upperclassmen except for Nathan and some of his friends, but where were her friends from middle school? Haley tried to remind herself that some of the people around her might be freshmen, just like her, confused and overwhelmed, but from the other middle school in town. She had to admit though that everyone around her seemed to know exactly what they were doing and exactly where to go. As if in response to the thoughts racing through her head, an arm flew around her shoulders and squeezed her close to him.

"Hey, Hales! Any idea how to find your locker?"

"Lucas! Thank God!"

Lucas and Haley quickly hugged as Haley jumped up and down a little bit. Over the last two years Lucas had become one of her closest friends, maybe even her best friend. That title had traditionally belonged to Rachel, but as they got older Rachel began hanging out with a different group- the "popular" crowd. Middle school seemed to be full of cliques. Haley didn't remember how they started and how she was left out of them. It just seemed like one day they were all friends eating lunch together and the next everyone was part of some group except for her. Lucas also seemed to be on the outskirts. He had some basketball friends that he played with on the River Court, but they went to the other middle school in town.

As Lucas and Haley gravitated to each other, it seemed to push her and Rachel even farther apart. Rachel was never outright mean to her, but while they were in school she wasn't nice to her either. In fact, it was as if she didn't exist. That did not stop Rachel and her friends from insulting Lucas every chance they got. Haley tried to talk to Rachel about this when they talked outside of school, but it was a very touchy subject and Haley knew from firsthand experience that she had to tread lightly with Rachel in dealing with heavy issues. Rachel shut down whenever she came close to discussing an issue that made her tap into her emotions and Haley always ended up backing down from directly confronting her about her treatment of Lucas.

Rachel and Lucas were cousins but their families didn't speak. Haley did not fully understand the full reasons why, and frankly she doubted Rachel did either, but she did know it was complicated. From what Lucas had shared with her, it had to do with the history between Rachel's father, Dan, and Lucas' Mom, Karen.

Dan and Karen were high school sweethearts until Dan broke up with her to go off to college even though she was pregnant. Karen lost the baby and leaned on Dan's older brother Keith for support. When Dan realized that Karen and Keith were seeing each other, he refused to speak to either of them and disowned his brother. Shortly later, Dan returned to Tree Hill married to someone he met in college, Deb, who happened to be pregnant. Deb was from a wealthy family and within a couple of years, they were both able to go back to school to finish their degrees, in addition to having another child, all with the help of Deb's family. Meanwhile, Keith and Karen married and began a family of their own as they struggled to pay the bills and start their own businesses.

Over the years the two branches of the Scott family remained divided. They did not celebrate holidays together and in fact did not even acknowledge the blood relationship at all. Haley privately suspected that Dan was somehow jealous of Keith and Karen, even though he was now a very wealthy man with strong political ties in the community and had a family of his own. Years later, Dan's resentment transferred to his own children who had the same competitive streak as their father.

"So how do you figure out which locker is yours?" Lucas asked Haley.

"I think you find it on your schedule, right up there," Haley said as leaned over Lucas to point to the upper right hand corner of the schedule.

"Hey, our numbers aren't not far apart, maybe that means they're close?" Lucas suggested.

"I hope so! I really need to be around some familiar faces around here. I mean, is it just me or does this place seem so big?"

"Yeah, but we'll get it all down within a couple of days. Come on! Let's find our lockers and try out these combinations."

As they walked down the hall, a silence fell over them and Haley knew that Lucas was thinking about something. He had that pensive and brooding look on his face that she had come to recognize over the past couple of years.

"What's up, Lucas?" Haley asked.

"So you haven't seen anyone you know yet here?" Lucas asked as he shifted the weight of his backpack and looked at his feet.

Haley knew where he was going with this. She was worried about it, too.

"No, but it won't take long before we do though." Haley took Lucas' hand as she stopped walking and looked directly into his blue eyes. Those blue eyes reminded her so much of another pair of blue eyes she got lost in over years. Her feelings were different though when she looked at this particular pair. Haley felt nothing but a deep sense of friendship. She wasn't sure what she felt with she looked into that other set of blue eyes, but it was some kind of stirring deep in her stomach. In fact, she was on edge about locking eyes with those particular ones at this new school. "Look Lucas, whatever happens, we're in this together. It's you and me against the world, just like in middle school right?"

"That's right, Hales." With those words Lucas squeezed Haley's hand and they turned the corner and ran smack into Nathan and Rachel. Haley's brown eyes locked with Nathan's blue eyes and as the stirring began, she could swear she immediately felt nauseous.

"What are you doing with him?" Haley wasn't sure but it seemed like Nathan was screaming at her. Nathan then looked at Rachel as if he was expecting answers from her.

"Well, they are kind of friends, Nathan," Rachel answered.

"What? When did this happen?" Nathan was definitely speaking loudly enough to cause some glances in the hallway.

Before Haley could answer two of Nathan's closet friends, Tim Smith and Damien West joined him. The three of them were all sporting their varsity coats and bumped fists. Haley didn't know Tim and Damien well, but she knew enough about them from seeing them at Nathan and Rachel's house that there was something about them that made her uneasy. The one thing she knew for sure was that she did not like the way Nathan acted when he was around them.

Haley and Lucas took the interruption as a chance to get away from Rachel and Nathan. They side stepped the small group and continued down the hall way. As they did this, Nathan turned and shouted down the hallway at Haley.

"Haley, we'll talk about this later!" Haley did not even acknowledge this statement as she continued to grip Lucas' hand.

He could not take his eyes of her. Nathan just continued to stare after them until they made it to the end of the hallway and turned the next corner. He did not fail to notice that they were holding hands as he felt his heart beating faster.

"Already after some fresh meat, Scott?" Damien chuckled.

"No, it's not like that. Haley is an old family friend and I guess she's just caught up with the wrong crowd." Nathan looked at Rachel again. "When did that happen?"

"In middle school, Nathan. You know Haley and I are not as close as we used to be." Rachel shifted uncomfortably as she admitted this to Nathan. "We have different friends now."

"Well, I hope so because Dad would flip if you were hanging out with Lucas." Nathan still was confused though. "Wait, you hung with Haley all summer. She came on vacation with us and you went on vacation with the James'. What do you mean you have different friends?"

"Haley and I are 'out-of-school' friends. She is like a part of our fam and I love her fam but yeah, we don't really talk in school. It's cool, Nathan. It all works out."

"Whatever, Rachel. I'm not cool with this and now that we are back in the same school again, I am going to have to set some things straight. Lucas is going to find out just who runs this school." Nathan turned and looked at Tim and Damien and they bumped fist once again.

"Good luck with that," Rachel said as she stalked off.

* * *

Haley and Lucas were excited to find out that their lockers were indeed to close to each other. Once they were settled they began to review their schedules. They had some of the same classes together, which was to be expected considering how small the school was, but not all of them. Haley was particularly relieved to learn they did not have the same period gym class. Haley considered herself a bit of klutz and although Lucas had experienced that on many occasions, she was still very self-conscious about it. Lucas was a pretty good athlete even though he did not want to seem to admit it. Lucas was perfectly content to play basketball at the River Court with his friends. Haley had seen him play though and knew it was more than a game to him.

"Hey, you think you will go out for the basketball team here?"

"I don't know, Hales. I'm not sure if that is such a good idea. I mean you saw how Nathan freaked out when I came near him. Imagine if I went out for the team? He would think I was trying to take his spot or something."

Nathan was on both the football and basketball teams, but everyone knew basketball was his sport. He made the varsity basketball team his freshman year and became a starting player by the end of the season. That was not good enough for Nathan's father though. Dan constantly rode Nathan in basketball and chided him for not starting in all the games. Haley knew that Lucas' presence on the team could definitely make things worse for him, but after the way Nathan spoke to her today, she didn't really care. Plus, Lucas had been her closest friend over the past two years while Nathan had barely talked to her. Now he was questioning who she was friends with?

"Well, I think you should do it. I mean who cares what he thinks anyway? I've seen you play, Lucas, and you deserve to give it a shot. I mean it won't hurt you to try out right? Who says you'd even make the team anyway?" Haley elbowed him with the last question.

"Nice. Thanks for faith. Tryouts aren't until after Thanksgiving anyway. We have to get through football season first."

"True. Well, think about it." Sports were big in Tree Hill and although everyone attended the football games, this was a basketball town. Part of Haley wondered why Nathan even bothered with football. It certainly wasn't to make his Dad happy. Dan never attended the football games but he was always center court for the basketball games, even the away games. Haley realized she was thinking about Nathan and stopped herself. It was Lucas who deserved her attention now.

"Lucas, there is something I want you to know." Lucas looked at her and she continued. "I am not going to stop being friends with you because of Nathan. He may think he can tell me who I can be friends because he is like an older brother to me, but he cannot tell me what to do."

"You know I knew you were close in all, but I can't really picture it in my mind Haley. Even now, they way he was talking to you. It is like he has some claim on you. Not like a big brother claim either."

Haley thought about this for a moment. She really wasn't sure what to say. She began to feel those stirrings again and pushed them away. "There are things you don't know Lucas. I am connected to Rachel and Nathan. We have been through a lot of the years, but we are all just friends and Nathan can just get a little overprotective." Haley suddenly felt the need to defend Nathan to Lucas. After all, there were things he didn't know. Things that Haley had not shared with anyone, even her own family. Things that she would never share with Lucas. "I will set things straight with him."

"Don't tell me your locker is here."

Haley and Lucas turned around to see Rachel opening the locker next to Lucas'.

Haley smiled at Rachel trying to lighten the tension in the air. "Well, I guess they were assigned alphabetically by grade. Scott. Scott. Makes sense to me. At least this means we'll get to see each other in school, Rach."

"Yeah, I guess so." Rachel stepped in between Haley and Lucas. "Haley, I'm sorry about Nathan being an ass. Maybe I should of told him you and Lucas were friends."

"It's none of his business, Rachel. I mean you're okay with it. If he was a real friend too, he would be okay with it. Honestly, I don't understand what the big deal is anyway."

Rachel turned and looked at her cousin by name only. "Well, there's a lot of family history there, Haley."

"Yeah, Haley. Rachel and I actually agree on something for once," Lucas said looking at Rachel.

"Well if you can both be my friend, then Nathan can too. Or not. I really don't care."

"Right, Haley. You and I both know there's more to it than that." Rachel shut her locker and walked away.

* * *

As the last school bell of the day rang, Haley jumped out of her seat and headed to her locker. She had managed to find all her classes and was on the way to learning the complicated rotating schedule. As she neared her locker, butterflies began to form in her stomach. Nathan was standing right there and looking right at her. Haley calmed herself and looked right back.

"Um, can I get into my locker please?"

Nathan moved aside, but only slightly. He looked intently at her. "We need to talk, Haley."

"Yeah, we do need to talk Nathan, but I am not talking to you if you are going to yell at me!" Haley's own voice rose as she looked at Nathan. She then began to focus on opening her locker. After her third attempt with the combination, she heard Nathan laughing.

"What's so funny?" Haley said stomping one of her feet.

"You are such a freshman." Nathan flashed his infamous smirk at her. "Here, let me show you. What's the combination?"

Haley told him and watched his hands closely as he explained how to use the combination. Nathan was so patient with her at this moment and Haley began wondering if she had exaggerated their earlier encounter.

Nathan cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "So listen, Haley do you need someone to show you around the school or what? Cause, you know I'm always here for you." Haley had to admit that her heart melted a bit at those words.

Nathan seemed to feel something too but then like a switch went off in his head, he shifted gears. "You'll learn fast too that having Nathan Scott walking you around the school will give you all kinds of perks." Nathan's cocky attitude was starting to show again. "Plus, now that we are in the same schools again, there is no need for you to be around Pucas."

"Are you kidding me, Nathan? We're not in middle school anymore. Things are different now. We all have different friends. I mean, look at Rachel and I. We barely speak in school but we are still good friends and hang out. Why can't it be the same with you?"

"Because it's not the same," Nathan answered quickly without thinking. What was he saying? He wasn't even sure where he was going with this. It was something he knew he felt but he wasn't sure he could explain it. But that was the way his relationship was with Haley. It was something based on feelings that he didn't quite understand. Deep down, he knew it all stemmed from their childhood and the things, one thing in particular that they had been through. "Look, I need to watch out for you here. There are a lot of scumbags here looking to mess with freshmen. Plus, I know your Dad would want me to watch out for you."

It was true that her Dad and Nathan were close since he and Rachel spent so much time at the James' house as a child. Her Dad even attended the football and basketball games to cheer him on. Haley also knew this was an excuse to cover for something else. There is no way her Dad would have asked Nathan randomly to watch out for her. He parents had raised her and her siblings to be strong, independent people.

"That's bullshit, Nathan. I can watch out for myself. Lucas and I are friends and nothing is going to change that."

Haley jumped as Nathan suddenly punched the locker making a loud noise. "We'll see about that." Haley watch as Nathan stomped off.

* * *

Haley waited outside of the movie for Lucas. She had been looking forward to this movie all week after a draining first week of school. After a couple of minor mistakes with learning the schedule, Haley was now comfortable making her way around the school and going from class to class. Having her locker near Rachel and Lucas helped too and actually seemed to be working out. Rachel and Haley's relationship seemed to be improved as they comfortably chatted in school and Rachel was even beginning to acknowledge Lucas' presence. Haley was happy to put the middle school years behind her as everyone seemed to be maturing. Everyone except Nathan that was.

Nathan had ignored Haley all week. After the incident with the locker and seeing him lose his temper like that, she had no interest in being around him either. If she was honest with herself, part of this bothered Haley. Did this mean Nathan didn't care about her? Did their history mean nothing to him? Was he willing to erase all that because of some stupid family feud that didn't even involve him?

Haley tried not to think about it as she looked at her watch again. The movie was about to start and Lucas was nowhere in sight. Haley tried to decide whether to just go ahead and get the tickets or just continue to wait for Lucas. She decided to wait a little longer since she knew there would be at least ten minutes of previews anyway. Twenty minutes later, Haley gave in and called Lucas but there was no answer. Ten minutes later, Haley decided she probably mixed up the time and returned home, but not before leaving another message for Lucas.

* * *

The next morning as Haley was getting ready for school she realized there was a suitcase by the door.

"Hey Mom, is Dad leaving for his work trip today?"

"Yeah, didn't he tell you, Haley Bob?" Lydia answered as she strolled into the kitchen.

"Well, I knew he had a trip coming up, but I didn't think it was today."

"Hey, Hales. I meant to remind you last night but you left for the movies before I got a chance to talk to you," Jimmy said as entered the room, stopping to kiss his daughter on the cheek.

"How long are you going to be gone for? Is it a week?"

"I'll be back on Friday. Think you two ladies will be able to handle the James homestead on your own? I could always see if Taylor wants to come back?"

"Don't you dare Jimmy! I love our daughter but we'll never get rid of her if she comes back and I haven't slept a sound night in all the years she was under this roof! Haley Bob and I will have a nice quiet week on our own, won't we?" Lydia winked and Haley and continued, "but I will miss you just the same."

Jimmy leaned in and kissed Lydia fully on the lips. Haley turned away. She should be used to this behavior now with two touchy-feeling parents, but they were still her parents after all and Haley did not enjoy seeing them make out.

"Um, excuse me. I hate to interrupt but I do need a ride to school, Dad, before you leave."

Jimmy and Lydia pulled apart but remained with their arms locked around each other.

"Actually, I talked with Nathan yesterday. He is going to drive you to school all week. He has football practice afterschool but it doesn't start until three so he has time to drive you home if you hustle."

Haley looked incredulously at her Dad. "What? You talked to Nathan?"

"Of course I did. I even cleared it with Dan. I mean he has to drive Rachel anyway and they do live right down the street. Nathan also said he would watch for you when I was away. He's such a good kid. I can't wait until he's my son-in-law some day." Lydia smacked Jimmy upside the head with that last comment.

"Jimmy, you know she hates it when you tease her about Nathan." Lydia said as she broke away from Jimmy. "Even though we all know it's true," she added as she exited the kitchen.

"Dad! He can't drive me to school. He hates me right now and I hate him too," Haley pleaded.

"Well, you will just have to get over that Haley. Just because you and Nathan are in some lover's quarrel right now doesn't change the fact that I can't drive you to school. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't hate you either. He was more than happy to take care of you this week."

"I bet he was," Haley fumed.

"What is this about, Haley? Are you worried about you are wearing? I know your Mom knitted you that poncho but you could always run up and change quick. I know you want to look your best for Nathan," Jimmy continued to egg his daughter on.

"Dad! Stop it! Seriously, I just can't take a ride from him right now. Can't you drive me real quick and I will just figure out a ride for the rest of the week? Please, please, please."

"No, I can't Haley. I have to leave myself and I have a plane to catch. You will just have to deal with this. And I don't want you taking a ride from someone else either. I trust Nathan with you. As long as you aren't dating yet. When that happens, I may change my mind. Oh look, here he is."

Haley looked outside as Nathan pulled up. He was in some flashy sports car that Haley couldn't identify but she knew his father had bought for him last summer. She could see Rachel sitting in the front seat which immediately made her feel a little better. Maybe she could just get in the back seat, take this ride and be done with it. That wouldn't be so hard, would it?

"Fine, Dad. Have a nice trip. Oh and Dad, I'll miss you too." Haley hugged and kissed her father before she grabbed her things and headed out the door.

As soon she got in the car she saw Nathan shifted the rearview mirror so that he could see her. He that smirk on his face that made Haley want to smack him.

"Morning, Hales. See I told you that your dad wanted me to watch for you." Nathan continued smirking as he readjusted his mirror and backed out of the driving. If they weren't moving Haley might have jumped out the car, she was so mad.

"Silent treatment, huh? Well that's nice seeing as I am going to making a special trip everyday driving you home before practice," Nathan taunted.

"Nathan, you know that isn't true. You drive me home every day before practice," Rachel said with a smirk of her own.

"Shut up, Rachel. Who asked you?" Nathan said glaring at his sister.

Haley was grateful for Rachel but she remained quiet, still fuming in the back seat of the car.

After a couple of minutes, Nathan turned his mirror again to look at Haley. "So did you figure out your locker yet, Hales? Need me to show you again how it works?"

"Hey Rachel, did you say that you have Michals for Spanish? What period do you have her?" Haley leaned over as she said this so that she was out of Nathan's view.

"Yeah, I have her period 7. Total bitch, huh? I can't believe she expects us to remember all that stuff from middle school."

"I know, but I actually kind of like her. She seems tough and we are going kind of fast but I like how she only speaks to us in Spanish. I thought it would be impossible at first, but I am getting used to it now."

"Well I can't stand it. How about Myers for history?"

"No, I have Jones."

"Well Myers is hot, let me tell you and I totally think he was checking me out last week."

"No way! Rachel you can't be serious…"

"Hey Hales, seen any good movies lately?" Nathan interrupted as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Shut up, Nathan. Can't you see your sister and I were having a conversation?" Haley paused a moment and processed what he said. "What do you mean, Nathan? Why are you asking me about movies?" Haley asked as they got out of the car.

"No reason. I just know you like movies." Nathan was ahead of her at this point trying to catch up with Tim and Damien who were standing outside the school. "I would hate for someone to stand you up for a movie date that's all." Nathan said as he reached the guys.

Haley stopped and looked directly at him. Nathan turned his back to her to talk to Tim. "Some night, last night huh, Tim?"

"Yeah, let's do it again sometime, Nate."

Haley turned and practically ran inside to her locker where she found Lucas standing.

"What happened, Lucas?"

"Look, I'm sorry about the movies Haley. I got your message but it was too late to call you back. I hope you didn't wait too long." Lucas said as he moved aside for her open her locker.

Haley did not move though and just continued looking at him. "You didn't answer the question. What happened?"

"I really don't want to tell you what happened, Hales. It's kind of embarrassing," Lucas said as he looked down at his feet.

"It was Nathan wasn't it?"

"How did you know?"

"He made some comment to me this morning and I just knew. What did he do?"

"He and some of his friends grabbed me and took me to some type of muddy swamp area and left me there."

"What? I am going to kill him!"

"No, Haley, don't waste your time. I'm fine. Just sorry about the movie."

"Lucas, I am going to take care of this." Haley finally turned her attention to her locker, shoved some of books inside it and slammed it shut.

* * *

It had taken half the school day but Haley finally spotted Nathan in the hallway in between classes. She marched over to him on a mission.

Nathan saw her coming and tried to dodge her and go into a classroom but he couldn't since Damien was on his right.

"Hey Hales, do you need me to…"

"Nathan, you are a jackass! I never want to speak to you again. Oh and don't bother looking for me afterschool. I'll find my own way home, even if I have to walk!" As she turned to walk away she stopped for a minute and added with a smile "Actually, maybe Lucas will walk me home."

Nathan stood there feeling his anger rising up.

"Dude, you let her talk to you like that? No girl is worth that. Especially after all the work we put into messing with Lucas last night," Damien laughed.

Nathan just signed and watched Haley disappear down the hallway. "Whatever. We were just having some fun last night. I mean remember the look on his face when we grabbed him?"

* * *

Nathan tried to focus in class but his thoughts kept going back to Haley. She wouldn't really walk home would she? I mean, it was too far and it had already started raining. Even worse, Lucas better not even try to walk her home after last night. He had done enough walking last night after they left him so far from home. Still, it was the feeling in the pit of his stomach is what bothered him the most. Nothing he did could make that feeling going away.

Nathan kept remembering the look Haley gave him when he mentioned the movies. Maybe it was a mistake to bring that up. Nathan had to admit that he loved getting Haley flustered though and it just so easy to do! This was something that was new to their relationship. Growing up, they had always been so close. Most people assumed it was because Haley and Rachel were best friends and always over each other's houses. In fact, both Rachel and Nathan had become extended members of the James' family. The family was pretty large with six kids, Haley being the youngest, but Jimmy and Lydia always said two more didn't matter. Nathan really felt like they meant it too. His parents were always busy with work and often times traveling, sometimes for work, sometimes vacationing, so the James' family just kind of took him and Rachel in all the time.

If he thought back to when that happened, it was right after the incident when Dan and Deb were vacationing in the Bahamas when Nathan was ten and Rachel was eight. Jimmy and Lydia didn't know the details about the incident or Haley's involvement in it. They just knew that Dan and Deb no longer trusted a nanny with their kids and so the James' offered to help out when they needed it. As they got older, Rachel and Nathan were often left alone leaving Nathan in charge. Nathan hated this and would often find ways to end up with James' anyway.

Nathan finally just figured that he was upset because Mr. James had trusted him to take care of Haley and now she was making that difficult. He decided he would take care of that after school. He would wait at her locker and just make her come with him. Nathan knew this would be a challenge, but he could handle it. He was Nathan Scott after all and he knew Haley James better than anyone else. After what they went through as kids, he knew her even better than Rachel. Yeah, he could do this. Still, Haley's face kept flashing back at him, filled with disappointment and anger. Nathan was used to dealing with those looks, his father usually the source of them, so he tried to convince himself that he could handle it with Haley. The final bell of the school day rang and Nathan gathered his belongings and ignored the feeling that lingered in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "Shattered (Turn the Car Around)" (O.A.R.)


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 2: "Shattered (Turn the Car Around)" (O.A.R.)

Nathan made it to Haley's locker in under a minute. He watched as Lucas made his way to his locker.

"Hey Lucas, enjoy your walk home last night?"

"Actually, it was good exercise. Didn't mind it one bit." Lucas finished putting away his books, shut his locker, and walked over to Nathan. "In fact, it really helped me start to get in shape for basketball tryouts."

"You wouldn't…"

"We'll see about that, won't we?" Lucas smirked at Nathan as he walked away.

Nathan had recovered by the time Rachel reached her locker but there was still no sign of Haley. At least it didn't seem like Lucas would be walking home. He still didn't understand where she was or how she would get home.

"Rachel, have you seen Haley?"

"We have class together second to last block. She told me she told you she wasn't coming home with us. Actually, I don't need a ride either."

"Where are you going?"

"Out. With some friends. I don't need you to look after me, big brother. Not like you were any good at it anyway."

Nathan flinched for second since he knew where that dig was coming from. Rachel could be such a cold bitch sometimes. She always seemed to be able to find someone's weak spot and use it to her advantage.

"Where's Haley?"

"I don't know, Nathan. Not my turn to watch her. Look, I'll see you at home okay?" Without waiting for an answer, Rachel turned and walked away.

After waiting for twenty minutes, Nathan began to get impatient. He hadn't even been to his locker yet and at this point, he wasn't sure he could drive Haley home and make it to practice on time. Not only was Nathan pissed, but he was also worried. What if something happened to Haley? Part of him knew that was not likely, but he still wanted to see her just to be sure.

Nathan had to admit that he did not like this hold Haley seemed to have over him. Not being in school with her for the past two years seemed to make him forget what it was like to be around her all the time. Nathan felt like he had to watch out for her, especially now that there were in high school and there were guys on the prowl trying to hook up with the freshmen girls.

In one sense, things were just so much easier when they were younger, at least when it came to school. In elementary and middle school, which were all the same building for them, everyone knew not to mess with Haley because of Nathan. They were always together, along with Rachel, until Nathan moved on to high school. When Nathan reached high school, he began to focus on sports, and not only basketball, but he decided to go out for football at the last minute just to piss off his father. That had worked out well! Dan did not want Nathan being the football team because he felt Nathan should be training during the offseason and shouldn't be risking injury since basketball was "the plan."

Nathan had no say in "the plan" but he felt a new sense of freedom in high school, partly because he didn't have to worry so much about his sister. Rachel was constantly getting into fights and had even been caught drinking once in school. She definitely had her issues and Nathan knew exactly where they stemmed from but his parents did not seem to want to face them. It was really up to Haley and him to keep his sister from losing it completely.

In high school, Nathan made some new friends, such as Damien and Tim, and quickly became part of the popular jock crowd. He was invited to all the parties and was even put on the list for some sort of boy draft the cheerleaders put together so they wouldn't fight over who was allowed to date who. Nathan enjoyed this as teenage boy with raging hormones. He hooked up with girls from time to time, especially when he was drinking at party, but the hook ups only went so far. The truth was that he didn't want a real girl friend and was content to play the field. At least that's what he told himself.

Now that Haley was at the high school, he wasn't sure what he wanted. He still didn't want a girlfriend, that was for sure. He also now realized that he didn't want Haley having a boyfriend, especially not Lucas. In a strange way, he felt like Haley was his. Maybe this was because for many years she was. The only person he really had to share her with was Rachel and that was hard enough. Rachel was very jealous of Haley and Nathan's bond and they always had to tread lightly around her. Nathan admitted to himself he hadn't really paid much attention to Haley since he entered high school. He just assumed that Haley hadn't really changed much since he wasn't around to see it. Now, it was clear that he was wrong and since they would be in school together for the next two years, he was not going to let that happen again.

Nathan decided to leave note on her locker.

_Hales- You made your point ok? Come find me in practice- weight room or the gym. Or wait for me- I'll be done by 5. You can't walk home in the rain. I won't let you. –Nate_

* * *

Nathan had a lousy practice. At first, lifting weights allowed him to work off some steam, but he could not focus as they watched films to prep for next week's game, their season opener, and then he spaced out when his coach was trying to explain one of their plays. To make this worse, the coach picked up on this and Nathan was forced to admit he had no idea what the play was. Nathan kept looking at the clock and the doors to see if Haley was coming by. At the end of practice, Nathan had to do an extra ten minutes of running drills for spacing out. This was not good. Friday would be Nathan's first varsity game as a starter. He had made the varsity basketball team his freshman year, but in football he had to work his way up. Already, instead of impressing the varsity coach, he was acting like a lovesick teenager. Nathan had to set things straight with Haley and he needed to do it fast.

Nathan went by Haley's locker and saw the note was gone. He checked his locker, then his car and still no Haley. Not knowing what else to do, he got in his car and headed toward Haley's house.

About two miles later, Nathan noticed Haley walking on the sidewalk in the pouring rain. She was wearing a multicolored knitted poncho that Nathan knew her mom knitted for her. It seemed to weigh her down along with her long wavy hair. Nathan pulled over and rolled down the window.

"Hales, get in the car." Haley kept walking.

Nathan crept up and shouted sternly, "Haley James, get in the car!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Although Haley screamed, her voice was competing with the now torrential downpour.

"Dammit, Haley!" Nathan stopped his car, pulled over and ran out after her.

"Your dad is going to kill me! Would you stop being such a brat and just get the car? You are going to get sick out here and you are ruining that stupid poncho!"

"Just leave me alone!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Hales. If I have to get soaked too, I will, but I am not leaving you."

"Why, Nathan? Why? You've done nothing but make my life miserable ever since school started. Do you even care about me or is this all about Lucas anyway?"

"Yes. No," Nathan stammered. "It's not just Lucas, Haley. You have no idea what guys are like in high school. Trust me, I know. I'm one of them."

"Well, if you really want to watch out for someone, why don't you start with Rachel? She's the one who needs your help and you know that!"

"Rachel never listens to me and _you know that_!" Nathan was screaming at this point. "I've tried Haley- so many times with her and she NEVER LISTENS! It's like she's punishing me! The only shot we have with her is if we stick together, Haley!"

"I know that, Nathan, but you haven't given us the time of day the past two years, you know? I had to deal with her all by myself and she wouldn't talk to me in school and just wanted to be with the popular girls and the boys-Nathan-do you have any ideas how many guys she's already hooked up with?"

"Oh, Haley, don't tell me that…" Nathan looked down and away.

"Well you need to know that, Nathan; as her brother. You are _her brother_, not mine. I have two older brothers, thank you very much, even though they moved out years ago."

Nathan faced Haley but looked down and then back up at her. "You're not like a sister to me, Haley."

"Really, Nathan? Then what am I, Nathan?" Haley challenged him.

"I don't know…a friend?" Nathan thought for a minute as the rain continued to pour down on them. "Not a friend like you are with Lucas, though. We are more than that, Haley. We have a history you know…" Nathan reached over and pushed the loose strands of hair off her face and tucked them behind her ear. "You are more than a friend to me….and I definitely don't feel like you are my sister."

Haley was confused by this as she looked into his darkening blue eyes. She felt butterflies in her stomach as she tried to sort out what she was feeling and what he was saying. Haley decided she didn't want to push and wasn't sure she was ready to hear more anyway. The truth was she was freezing and sopping wet.

"Can you just take me home, Nathan? And can we just stop fighting? I'm really sick of fighting with you."

"Me too." Nathan put his arm around Haley and began to walk her towards the car. He held open the car door for her and walked around to the other side.

"I'm sorry I'm getting your car wet."

"Don't worry about it, Haley. If this means you won't get to wear that poncho again, then it's totally worth it!"

Haley playfully hit Nathan. "Hey! You've made your feelings clear about this particular article of clothing clear, Nathan."

Haley and Nathan grew silent for minute as the tension in the air seemed to lift.

"So where were you anyway? I looked all over for you," Nathan asked Haley.

"I actually had an orientation at the Tutor Center. Got to start building up that college resume!"

Nathan smiled. Just like Haley to already be thinking about college during her second week of high school. "So think you might be able to tutor me sometime? I mean, I can make it worth your while..."

Haley tried to look away since she started to blush. Was Nathan flirting with her?

"Well, you'll have to fill out an application in Tutor Center. They just randomly assign people."

"Come on, Haley. I know if I put in an application all the ladies would be fighting over who gets to tutor me. I'm giving you first shot!"

"I'll pass then. After all, I've seen your grades. They have no idea what they are in for!"

"Hey!"

As Nathan pulled into Haley's driveway he looked over at her, started to say something and paused. Although there was still water dripping from her face, Nathan found her to be adorable as she bit her lower lip and fidgeted. He regrouped and tried to remember what he was going to say. "What are we going to do about Rachel?"

Haley was a little disappointed he was talking to her about Rachel. For a minute, she thought maybe he was going to say something about her.

"Well, I think you're right. Rachel needs both of us right now. She is headed down a wrong path, Nathan. I've seen that for a while."

"I wish you would have told me."

"Nathan, don't take this the wrong way, but ever since you became friends with Damien and Tim you're just… different."

"Well, I'm not, Haley ,and I would expect you know that better than anyone. I went to high school. You see how different it is? I had to adapt. I had to move on. How would it look if I was hanging out with middle school kids all the time, Haley? I'm still the same person, though; just in a different place."

"I get that Nathan, but you ignore us whenever you are around your friends. I mean even during the summer when I was on vacation with your family! I felt like every time Rachel and I walked into a room or went down to the beach you up and left."

Nathan knew she was right. He also knew why but would never tell her how he was caught off guard when he saw her for the first time in a bikini. It definitely was not the same as when he saw his sister in a bikini. The first time she took off her tank top and shorts at the beach to reveal a black bra strapped top and bottom with strings tied in bows at the side, he had to grab a towel to throw over himself. It was easily one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. Nathan had known Haley since she was six but he had never seen her dressed like that. Plus, her body had obviously changed a lot since the last summer. She filled out that bikini nicely but it was her curves that impressed him the most. He did not let that happen again the rest of the summer. He just could not be around Haley, or even close to her, when she was in her beach clothes. Since vacation was at the family beach house, he steered clear of her in general. However, if he was being honest, his thoughts always still managed to drift back to her.

"Yeah, I know, but now that we are in the same school again, things are different. I won't ignore you, I promise."

"Well, I don't want to hang out around Tim or Damien either. Something about them creeps me out. Also, and I know you aren't going to like this Nathan, but Lucas and I are really good friends." Haley noticed the look on Nathan's face as he looked down and she began to feel a little guilty. "But you're right; it's not the same as our friendship."

Nathan slightly smiled and looked back at her. "That's good because I still have a few more local spots around Tree Hill to show him."

"Speaking of that- Nathan you have to leave him alone! If this is going to work….I mean if we are going to help Rachel…you have to trust me and accept that I have guy friends who are not you."

"Who else are you friends with?" Nathan sounded like he was jealous to Haley. Was he?

"No one…I don't know Nathan…but I may be. I mean I'm just meeting a whole group of freshmen from the other middle school."

"Like who?"

"I don't know! That's not the point! Trust, remember?"

"Okay. Fine. Whatever. But just remember _I'm not that guy. Haley_. I'm not the guy who is going to watch you get hurt and stand by and do nothing. It's just not me. I will always protect you."

"I know, but Rachel is the one we need to focus on."

"You're right."

"So…..friends?"

"Yeah. So can I give you ride tomorrow?"

"Since you're asking and not telling...Yes. Thanks for the ride home too." Haley gathered her belongings and prepared to run inside.

"Hey, Haley…"

Haley stopped before she got of the car.

"Yeah?"

"Just remember…you and I are closer than you and Lucas. Your words." Nathan smiled brightly at Haley.

"Ha, ha! Not like you'll let me forget that either!" Haley smiled back at him and ran into the house.

* * *

"Let's go Rachel….We need to pick Haley up remember?" Nathan yelled to Rachel from the bottom of the stairs.

"Do we? I thought she was pissed at you." Rachel came down the stairs wearing a vest that probably was supposed to have something underneath it but she simply wore it as a shirt. She also had on tight pair of jeans and her midriff was showing.

"You're not wearing that. Go back up and change."

"You can't tell me what to do, Nathan."

"Oh yeah, well I'm the one giving you a ride school aren't I? And by the way, where did you go after school? You got home later than me!"

"None of your business! I'm ready. Let's go."

"I'm not leaving until you change."

"Fine." Rachel went back upstairs and came down wearing a light suede jacket over the vest. "Happy?"

Nathan knew she would take the jacket off as soon as she got to school, but this was a start.

"For now. By the way, I have to talk to you about something."

Since they only had a couple of minutes before Haley would join them so Nathan got right to the point as they got in the car.

"So Haley's birthday is coming up. I think we should do something for her. You know, just like old times."

Rachel looked at him confused. "Are you serious? Is this about Lucas? Because you really need to get over that you know. I really think they are just friend; for now anyway."

"No. I mean yeah. I know that, but so are we. Friends I mean. We should get together as friends for her birthday."

"With Lucas?"

"No. He doesn't need to be there…"

"But he's her friend. You just said so."

"Are you busting me, Rachel?"

Rachel laughed. "It's so easy Nathan. You are so transparent."

"Look she's going to be out in a sec, so can you, like, figure out something. You know, talk to her, figure out where she wants to do, what she wants?"

"Fine. We'll throw her a party. But I'm making the invite list. Haley needs to meet some new people anyway."

"Yeah, I'd actually like to meet some of your new friends too." Rachel looked curiously at Nathan realizing something was going on. Just then, Haley got in the car.

"Hey, guys. So Rachel, I was thinking maybe we could hang out today after school."

Rachel looked directly at Haley and then at Nathan. "What are you guys up to?"

"What do you mean?" Haley and Nathan said at the same time.

"Jinx!" They said together.

"Well I see you two talking to each other again! Great!" Rachel said rolling her eyes and looking disgusted.

* * *

"So who's coming tonight, anyway?" Nathan asked as he began unloading groceries from the car.

"You'll see." Rachel smiled, as they entered the beach house.

"Well, not Dad, right?" Their mom was away doing some type of charity event so that wasn't an issue.

"No. He thinks we're going to the James' for Haley's family birthday party. And on a Saturday night! God, sometimes he is just so gullible."

"When it comes to you he is. Meanwhile, he's all up my ass. Needs to know exactly how I spend every minute of my day. What am I doing to train? What I am lifting for weights? How many free-throws did I shoot? How many miles did I run?"

"At least he cares, Nathan. Dad pays no attention to what I do."

"That's just because he knows he can't control you and really doesn't want to know what you're up to because then he would need to deal with it. What's your secret anyway?"

Rachel stopped talking groceries out of the bags and looked at Nathan.

"He can't face me Nathan. You want that?"

"No." Nathan answered quickly. He knew it was true. Both his mom and dad could not face what happened with Rachel so they let her do whatever she wanted. Deb took on charity event, after charity event, and ones that conveniently required travel. Dan meanwhile suddenly became immersed in politics and was currently the town mayor. He had major a campaign with Lucas' mom, Karen, as his opponent which just added to their ongoing family drama. Dan won, but rumors were that it was due to some type of involvement with the local mob. Nathan wasn't sure of the specifics and he didn't want to know. He really just tried to steer clear of Dan as much as possible and the more time his job took up, the better.

"So, should I get a keg or what?" Nathan asked.

"Absolutely. You need me to go with you? I have a fake ID."

"What?"

"Don't give me that, Nathan. I know you have one too."

"I'm two years older than you. Where did you get it?" Nathan demanded.

"I know Tim's brother too you know."

"How?"

"We met at a college party. Want the details?"

"No, I don't Rachel. I'm going to kill Tim."

Nathan realized that Haley was right. Rachel was definitely headed down a wrong path, especially if she knew Tim's brother. Tim's brother was not only a source for fake ID's but rumors were that he also dealt drugs. As far as Nathan knew, as an athlete Tim stayed away from the stuff, but he wasn't sure about during the off season. Nathan also decided despite getting a keg, he was going to try not to get wasted tonight. He wanted to really see sister in action and see who her friends were. Plus, he knew Haley would not be happy about having alcohol at the party. He hoped she would understand this was all about Rachel but seeing as how they were trying to surprise Haley, he wouldn't have the chance to talk about it with her ahead of time.

* * *

"So where are you taking my daughter tonight, Nathan? And man-up! Tell me this is a date."

Nathan looked taken aback as he stood with Jimmy and Lydia in their kitchen waiting for Haley to come down.

"No! It's not a date Mr. James I swear! Just a small birthday party. " Nathan answered quickly. "And it's supposed to be a surprise." Nathan added lowering his voice.

"Well, all I know is that I could smell your cologne since you pulled in the driveway, you obviously just finished shaving judging from your razor burn and Rachel is nowhere in sight. Looks like a date to me. Is this a party of two?"

Nathan rubbed his chin as he tried to hide his embarrassment. He knew this looked like a date.

Before he could answer, Haley came down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Oh, and here is Haley wearing a dress with heels and that crappy Cracker Jack bracelet you gave her as a kid. It's definitely a date!" Lydia added.

"Mom! What are you talking about? Nathan, where is Rachel?" Haley asked looking pointedly at Nathan. She had to admit that he looked good standing there in a blue polo that matched his eyes along with a pair of khakis.

"I was just trying to tell your parents that we have to go back and pick her up since she wasn't ready."

"Oh."

Nathan could swear he saw a wave a disappointment quickly flash over her face. Did she want this to be a date? I mean, it was supposed to be the three of them, but Nathan was the only one who could drive so he had to leave Rachel back at the house to greet the guests. But it was Rachel who asked Haley to come out tonight, so how could she expect a date?

"Well, I guess I don't have to ask you what your intentions are with my daughter. Not yet anyway!" Jimmy laughed.

"Stop it Dad! Came we just go? What time do I have to be home?"

"We trust you, Haley. No curfew. Just give us a call if it is going to be too late," Lydia answered

"Really?" Nathan asked surprised.

"If it was Taylor, that would be a different story. We don't even plan on staying up until you get home, Haley. Just shut off the porch light huh?" Lydia began to open the door for them. "Now have fun, Haley! You only turn fifteen once!"

"Thanks Mom! Love you Dad!"

* * *

"We just passed your house, Nathan."

"I knowwww Haley," Nathan said exaggeratedly.

"So?" Haley started to wonder if this really was a date. I mean, sure it was Rachel who asked her to come out tonight but maybe this was all part of some plan Nathan had to surprise her?

Nathan knew Haley was nervous as well as confused as she bit on her lower lip. He decided it was best to be honest with her.

"We're going to the beach house."

"Just us?" Haley asked blushing.

"No," Nathan said looking closely at Haley to see her reaction. She was looking out the window so he couldn't see her face anymore. "Rachel is there. Also, Hales, remember how we decided to work together to try and straighten my sister out?" Haley nodded, still looking out the window. "Well I'm warning you, that we might see some things we don't like tonight but I just have to see how deep she is in."

Okay. Now Haley felt stupid. This whole night was about Rachel, not her. It was all part of some plan. Haley struggled to hide her feelings and put on a brave face. It had been her idea after all for Nathan to try and help his sister out.

"Okay. Thanks for the warning."

Nathan waited for Haley to say something else but he realized that was it. Why was he suddenly starting to feel guilty? Not sure where it was coming from, Nathan decided to take a risk.

"You, ah, look really nice tonight Haley. I think I forgot to tell you that."

Nathan could see her face start to redden as she tried to suppress a smile. He immediately began to feel a little on edge and wondered if he should have a couple of drinks just to relax a little. Nathan normally had no problems knowing how to act around girls but Haley had been driving him crazy lately. If anything, it should be natural with her since he knew her so well.

"Thanks. You look nice too." Haley said as their eyes met. They both quickly looked away.

As they pulled up to the beach house, Nathan could see Haley was confused by all the cars. He ran to open her door and held his hand out to help her out of the car. Nathan surprised himself at this, but smiled brightly at Haley in an effort to calm her nerves.

"Come on, Hales. I promise we'll stick together tonight ok?"

Haley smiled back at him as she took his hand and got out of the car. They walked up the driveway holding hands and into the house.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Realize" (Colbie Caillat)


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 3: "Realize" (Colbie Caillat)

"SURPRISE!"

Haley tried to hide behind Nathan but realized he was behind her holding the door open. She had nowhere to go except into a sea of faces, none of which she recognized. They all looked much older than her and Haley was used to being the oldest of her classmates. Her birthday had just missed the cut off date for enrollment which led to her always having the first classroom birthday of the year. Haley could swear that none of the people in front of her were her age. Finally, out the corner of her eye, she saw Rachel jump out in front of her and grab her into a hug.

"Happy birthday, Haley!" Rachel dragged Haley to the center of the room heading towards the kitchen. "This is like your coming out party, Hales! I have so many things to show and so many people for you to meet." Rachel was moving and talking very fast as she handed Haley a red plastic cup.

"First, this is a keg cup. And this," she said as she pointed to the keg sitting the island counter, "is a keg. I will totally show you how to do a keg stand later. First you need to get a serious buzz going. See you just fill it up like this," Rachel demonstrated and promptly drank what looked like the entire cup, "and you drink it like that, and then refill it like this."

"Slow down, Rachel. You're going too fast for Haley and it might scare her off." Nathan grabbed Rachel's cup from her. Haley quietly put her cup back in the pile.

"Yeah, Rachel, I really don't want anything to drink."

"You two are lame. Not like you haven't been drunk before Nathan. Wasn't the keg your idea anyway?"

Haley looked at Nathan. She remembered that Nathan had warned her that there would be things she would not like about tonight.

"Fine. Well I have another surprise for you, Haley, and it looks like it just arrived." Rachel grabbed Haley's hand again as she shot Nathan a worried look. Nathan shrugged his shoulders as he followed them back to the foyer.

"Lucas! You're here!" Haley said as she hugged Lucas as she jumped up and down. "Thank God! I could swear there are no other freshmen here." Haley looked behind Lucas as she broke away. "Hey Skills, Mouth! I'm so happy we are finally all in the same school. Are Fergie or Junk here?"

"No, my brother drove us and his car only fits four," Skills answered.

"I didn't know you had a brother. Does he go to Tree Hill?" Haley asked looking around for Skills' brother.

"No, man. He's over there. He graduated last year and goes to UNC now. I guess he knows Rachel somehow but Lucas said we were invited too but I didn't believe him. Had to see this for myself. Boy, this is sure different from the other Scott house."

Lucas looked down feeling defensive. "Well, my parents had to work real hard for their house. Look, Rachel, would just tell them that you invited us?"

"Actually, I was just telling Haley you were her one of her birthday presents! So here you go Hales!" Rachel pushed Lucas closer to Haley. "Give him the grand tour. Make sure you hit the guest rooms upstairs," Rachel said winking. "Skills, Mouth, let me get you some drinks. Oh, and Lucas, this is just our beach house. Our other house is much bigger. Just ask Haley," Rachel added as she strutted back towards the kitchen.

Haley stood next to Lucas looking at Nathan. This was awkward, but not surprising considering Rachel.

"Alright. The beach is actually right out the back door. Why don't we head out there?" Haley suggested.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink, Hales. You go ahead and show Lucas around." Nathan turned and headed toward the kitchen before Haley could respond.

"Let's go!" Haley grabbed Lucas' arm and walked him toward the back porch.

"So does this bother you, Lucas?" Haley asked as they reached the water.

"Kind of. I mean I've just seen how many sacrifices my parents have made over the years you know? It's all fine now. My dad has his auto shop and my mom has her café but for a long time we went without….Haley, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go for it."

"What is up with you and Nathan? I mean it's almost like Rachel invited me to make Nathan jealous. How twisted is that? Or am I off there?"

Haley looked down at her feet as they continued to walk. "No, I mean I saw that, too. Rachel's just complicated. There is this whole other part of her that only Nathan and I have seen. And we try to help her but she just pushes us away most of the time. Then, she gets mad that Nathan and I are so close, you know? Like we can't be friends without her. Sometimes I feel like I am only supposed to be her friend and no one else's. Then, in middle school she started ignoring me and then I didn't know what to think. But we always still hung out outside of school anyway."

"So where does that you leave you and Nathan?"

"I don't know. I really don't. Right now we are just trying to help Rachel, but she is obviously not making it easy on us."

"I can see that." Lucas paused and Haley was grateful that part of conversation seemed to be over. "So I think I am going to go out for the basketball team, Hales."

"You are? Oh, I'm so happy Luke!"

"Think Nathan will kill me?"

"I'll take care of Nathan. He's actually been nice to me lately and I think I can get through to him. I mean, things have been better lately, right?"

"Yeah. I was surprised he didn't follow us out here. You know he has a thing for you right?"

"No. No, he doesn't. This is all about Rachel; this party, him being nice to me. It's all about Rachel."

"I hate to say this Haley, but I've seen the way he looks at you. Trust me. It's not all about Rachel."

Feeling uncomfortable Haley tried to change the subject for good. "So am I right? Are we the only freshmen at this party?"

"Let's head back and find out."

* * *

Haley cringed as they entered the house using the porch entrance. At the back of the room, Nathan was holding a red cup, laughing, surrounded by at least five girls, all of whom looked younger. She recognized two of them, a blonde and brunette from her Spanish class. The brunette was smiling brightly at Nathan while the blonde appeared to be bored as she twirled a piece of her curly hair looking around the room. Haley began to feel angry all of a sudden and tried to understand why. She had heard all about Nathan and his reputation with the ladies but to see it firsthand triggered something in her.

"Well, I guess we found some freshmen. You know any of them?" Haley asked Lucas.

"Aren't the blonde and brunette in our Spanish class?" Haley shot Lucas a suspicious glance. "I mean, I think they are in some of my other classes too, but they are together in that class and kind of take the spotlight!" Lucas explained.

"Whatever, Lucas. I've seen you staring at the blonde from the back of class. You're not kidding anyone. Let's go officially meet them." Haley held her head up high and looked directly at Nathan and walked towards the group with Lucas on her heels.

Oh, shit! Nathan thought. He began to fidget as he tried to figure out what to do. Nathan knew how this must look to Haley, but she was the one who went off with Lucas right? He had the right to enjoy himself right? Then again, she looked pissed and it was _her birthday party_. The last thing Nathan wanted to do was make her upset. Plus, he told her they would stick together.

"Why don't you introduce me to your friends, Nathan? Hi! I'm Haley and this is supposedly _my birthday party_!" Haley held out her hand to the youngest looking of the girls.

"Ahhh…" Nathan had to admit he didn't know their names.

"I'm Bevin and these are my friends Theresa, Anna, Brooke and Peyton." Bevin smiled brightly at Haley, honestly not seeming to mind her joining their circle. The brunette on the other hand, Brooke apparently, was glaring at her.

"Who's your boyfriend there?" Brooke asked clearly looking Lucas up and down. Haley noticed Peyton sneaking a glance at Lucas as well.

"This is Haley's _friend_, Lucas," Nathan quickly explained. "Lucas, why don't you come over here and meet some of these fine young ladies." With that, Nathan stepped out of the circle, letting Lucas to take his place and motioned for Haley to follow him.

"So are you enjoying the party?" Nathan asked Haley as he took her to a corner of the room.

"I guess. I see you were," Haley said pointedly. "Where's Rachel?"

"Dancing on a table in the kitchen last I saw."

"Nathan!"

"What, Hales? I told you. I need to see what she's like. I'm not going to let anything happen to her, but tonight is about watching her and letting her think she can trust me."

"Funny, I thought tonight was supposed to be about me." Haley muttered under breath.

"What?" Nathan guessed what she said but he wanted to be sure.

"Nothing. So why are you drinking, Nate? You really think it's a good idea for you to be drinking when you are trying to watch out for Rach and you have to drive me home later?"

"It's one drink, Hales. Look, I know this is your first party but it's not mine. I know what I'm doing. I can hold my liquor."

"I can't believe you drink at all, Nathan." Haley said lowering her voice. "I mean you've seen what alcohol can do. You swore you would never touch the stuff. So did I. I meant it."

Nathan signed heavily. "I did too. You just don't know what it's like, Haley. Tim, Damien, the team- they are my boys and we go out and it's all harmless. It's not like you think and I've learned my limits. You just have to be smart about it. My sister, on the other hand, is not smart. She needs to stop."

"Yes, she does and, if you want my opinion, so should you. Especially since you are driving me home tonight."

"Fine. I'm done." Haley looked up into Nathan's eyes to see if he was serious. His blue eyes were sparkling as they met hers. "All you have to do is ask, Haley. I'd do anything for you." Haley felt a shiver run through her body. Nathan noticed it and added, "especially at your birthday party." He put his arm around her and squeezed her close to him.

As if on cue, Rachel ran into the room and grabbed Haley's hand and lead her into another room for the third time that evening.

"Time for presents!" Rachel led Haley to a table in the tv room which was overflowing with gift bags, cards and wrapped presents.

"Who are all these presents from, Rachel?" Outside her very large family, Haley didn't think she even knew that many people.

"Your guests, Haley, but who cares about them anyway? You can open those later. Just open mine now!"

Haley sat down on the sofa as Rachel handed her two large gift bags and a small wrapped box.

"This is all from you? Rachel!"

"Just open them, Hales. Like I said earlier, this is your coming out party and I thought you needed a few things." Haley looked at Nathan as he slightly raised one of his eyebrows. It was funny how most of the time, like when it came to dealing with Rachel, Nathan and Haley could communicate without words. Lately, though, most of Nathan's actions confused Haley and she found herself unable to read him. This look though clearly told Haley he had no idea what Rachel had bought.

Haley was mortified as she pulled out three skimpy tops from one of the bags. One of them was a halter top, the other a strapless top and the third had spaghetti straps. They were all the type of shirts that Rachel would wear, but definitely not Haley's style. Haley noticed Nathan snickering as she held each one up. Not wanting to hurt Rachel's feelings, Haley thanked her and quickly put them back in the bag. The second bag contained a leather skirt that would barely cover Haley's ass. It was actually similar to the one Rachel was wearing that night.

"Now, open the last one. I saved the best for last." Haley braced herself. She was surprised when she pulled out a sliver 5" x 7" frame with the words "best friends" engraved at the top. Haley and Rachel were about 8 years old in the picture and were both wearing dresses with their hair pulled back in braids. Haley wasn't sure, but she thought it was from a piano recital Haley performed in.

"Very subtle, Rachel," Nathan said rolling her eyes.

"What?" Haley asked confused.

"I was in the picture, Haley. She cut me out. See…" Nathan leaned over Haley's shoulder and pointed to the middle of the picture "…that's my hand right there."

"Well it's not my fault that you managed to get yourself into every picture I have with Haley!"

Haley knew that wasn't true and that Rachel picked this picture on purpose. Trying to diffuse the situation, Haley leaned over and hugged Rachel. "Thank you so much, Rachel. I love it. It's my favorite present!" The present really did mean a lot to Haley. In fact, she had to admit that it was nice to have Rachel trying to be good friends again.

"Well, that's because you haven't opened my present yet, Hales."

Nathan handed Haley an envelope. Haley looked curiously at Nathan. It was obviously a card. Nathan had never given Haley a card before and she was excited to see what kind of card it was. The front of card was a black and white photo of a young boy and girl holding hands. The inside was blank with a note from Nathan:

_Happy 15__th__ Birthday Hales! Love, Nathan_

There was a smaller envelope inside the card as well. Haley pulled out two concert tickets dated two weeks from then.

"Oh my, God! U2, Nathan! You got me U2 tickets!" Nathan smiled at Haley. U2 was one of her favorite bands. Haley then began to bite her lip.

"What's wrong Hales?"

"I'm not sure my parents will let me go..."

"I already cleared it with them, Haley."

"Really?"

Nathan nodded.

"So who are you going bring, Haley?" Rachel asked reminding her she was there.

Haley looked at Rachel and then back at Nathan. As she had done so many times in her life, Haley searched Nathan's face for an answer. She knew all she had to do was look at him and he would let her know what to do. Nathan's eyes ever so slightly motioned towards Rachel and Haley got her answer.

"You, of course!" Haley put her arm around Rachel. "You're my best friend right? At least that's what this says!" Haley said pointing to the framed picture.

"Damn straight! Time for a refill!" Rachel left the room and headed toward the kitchen.

* * *

"So…how did it go?" Haley asked as she nudged up to Lucas.

"What go?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Lucas Scott! I saw both Brooke and Peyton checking you out!"

Lucas laughed. "They were not, but I was definitely checking them out!"

"So? Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?"

"Both? Neither? Look, I doubt they'll even say hi to me in class on Monday."

"Well then take advantage of tonight because Peyton is looking over here right now."

* * *

"Haley, have you seen my sister?"

"No. I haven't seen her since she gave me those presents."

"We have to find her."

Haley got up and joined Nathan. "What's wrong, Nathan?"

"I just heard some guys talking and I have a bad feeling."

"I thought you were watching her, Nate!"

"I was. I thought she was in the tv room and I left for a while and then when I went back she was gone."

"What did you hear?"

"I think she may have shut down." Haley looked at Nathan and saw how nervous she was. That was the term they had used over the years for when Rachel went through one of her episodes.

"Let's check her bedroom."

Nathan and Haley headed up the stairs to Rachel's bedroom. Nathan found the door to be locked and banged loudly.

"Rachel! Open up, Rachel! It's Nathan! Open the door Rachel!"

"She's not going to answer, Nathan. Let's go in through the bathroom." Nathan and Rachel shared a bathroom in between their bedrooms and Haley knew they could enter through Nathan's room to get into Rachel's. In fact, Haley wasn't sure she would ever forget the layout of that particular bathroom. The time she spent in there as a child was the cause of all Rachel's "episodes."

Nathan opened the door to his room with Haley right behind him. Haley bumped in Nathan as he abruptly stopped.

"Whoa..."

"Nikki! The door!"

Haley peaked around Nathan's shoulder to see a girl with long black hair hanging down her bare back straddling a guy on Nathan's bed. Haley buried her face in Nathan's shoulder.

"Whatever. Finish up Jagielski. I need my room back."

Nathan walked past the bed and towards the bathroom and entered Rachel's room shutting the bathroom door behind him. He immediately saw Rachel's long red hair covering her face as she lay curled up in a ball on the floor in the corner of her room. Nathan went over to Rachel's door and let Haley in. She watched as Nathan returned to Rachel, gently picked up her up and placed her on the bed.

"Is she passed out Nathan or..."

"Her eyes are open so….no…she's just shut down."

"Okay." Haley sat down on Rachel's daybed on the other side of the room. Rachel's room was bigger than Haley's living and dining room combined. In fact, when Haley slept over as a kid, she usually slept in Rachel's room on the daybed instead of in one of the guestrooms. The Scott's assumed it was because the girls didn't want to be separated but Haley knew it was because Rachel hated being there alone. In fact, having the bathroom in between her and Nathan's room seemed to help and she usually left that door opened when they went to sleep. Rachel had a much easier time sleeping at their own house, but the beach house held some dark memories that she still struggled with. In fact, they all struggled with them.

"I didn't know she was still having episodes," Haley said guiltily.

"Me, either." Nathan sat down next to Haley on the bed. "Well, we might as well get comfortable."

Nathan turned on the tv and began to flip the channels. After a couple of minutes he put down the remote and looked at Haley.

"I know I'm supposed to take you home, but think you could spend the night?" Haley could see the concern in Nathan's eyes.

"I could ask. But I don't want to have to lie to my parents, Nathan."

"I know. We've gotten this far though without really lying. We just need to tell them the right details."

Haley she got up and walked over to Rachel's phone and dialed her number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom. I was wondering if I could spend the night at the Scott's house."

"Is everything ok?"

Haley tried to carefully choose her words. "Yeah, Rachel's just not feeling well."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she will be. She just needs to rest a little." Haley hoped that would be enough information for her Mom. Lydia did know that Rachel had some issues; she just didn't know exactly what those issues were.

"Have you been drinking, Haley?"

"No, Mom, I swear."

"But what? Haley, I know your voice and there is something you're not telling me." Haley saw Nathan looking nervously at her.

"We're at the beach house." Nathan got up from the bed and came up behind Haley and put his hands on her shoulders in a show of support.

"Oh. I didn't realize that. Well, your father and I trust you, Haley. Is Nathan there?"

"Yes. He's right here."

"Can I talk to him?"

"Sure." Haley handed the phone to Nathan.

"Hi, Mrs. James."

"Is everything okay there?"

"Yeah. Rachel was just being Rachel and Haley really knows how to deal with her."

"Okay, but you need to watch out for our Haley Bob though, okay?"

"I always do, Mrs. James."

"I know you do, Nathan. And if you need anything, please call us."

"Will do. Thanks Mrs. James."

Nathan handed the phone back to Haley with a nod.

"So it's okay?"

"Yes, but do you have clothes Haley?"

"No, but I'm sure I can borrow some of Rachel's."

"Alright. Well, have a goodnight Haley."

"Night, Mom. Tell Dad goodnight."

Nathan was smirking as she hung up the phone.

"What?"

"Well…you could wear some of those clothes Rachel bought you."

"Nathan! I could never picture myself wearing those clothes and you know it."

"I could picture it. In fact, I just did!" Nathan said quickly exiting the room as Haley hit him.

* * *

"Okay, everyone is gone now. Wait..." Nathan walked through the bathroom and opened the door to his bedroom. "…yeah we're clear in here too. I have to wash those sheets though."

"So what do we do now?"

"Wait. It's been so long, I'm not sure how long this is going to last. We'll know when it's over though, if they are just like before, anyway."

"Well, I'm going to get ready for bed then." Haley walked over to Rachel's bureau and started looking for some pajamas. "This is all she has? I can't wear any of these!"

"I think most of her stuff is at our house. I might have something for you." Nathan went into his room and returned a minute later with a shirt in his hand. "Here. This should fit you."

Haley held out the shirt. It had the Raven's logo on the front and "Scott 23" on the back. His basketball shirt would probably reach her mid thigh. "Thanks! You're sure you don't mind?"

"No. I have a million of them." Haley noticed Nathan seemed to have something in his other hand.

"What else do you have?"

Nathan went over and sat on the daybed and motioned for her to follow. Confused, Haley sat down next to Nathan.

"I actually have another present for you." Nathan handed her a small box.

"Nathan…those tickets were more than enough."

"No, they weren't. That was for all of us; you, me, Rachel." Haley looked at him confused. Nathan continued, "I actually got more than two tickets. And I did talk to your parents and they said that you could go and I could drive you and Rachel. I thought it would be nice though if you picked Rachel with the extra ticket. I thought it would help things." Haley nodded understanding what he was trying to say. She wasn't surprised because Nathan was always extremely thoughtful when it came to her. It was a side of him that not many people saw with his tough, cocky exterior. "This present is for you though. From me."

Haley could barely look at him as she opened the present. Inside was a silver bracelet with hearts lining the sides.

"Nathan! This is beautiful. Can you put it on?"

"I figured that this bracelet was going to fall apart sooner or later so I'd better get you the real thing." Nathan took her hand and went to take off the Cracker Jack bracelet. He was surprised as Haley jerked her hand away.

"What are you doing? This is mine! I don't want to take this off. I can wear both of them." They smiled at each other as Haley handed him her other wrist. Nathan leaned over her to clasped the bracelet on her wrist.

"You like it?"

"It's perfect." Embarrassed at how Nathan was looking at her, Haley stood up grabbing the t-shirt. "I'm going to go change."

* * *

"Any change?" Nathan asked walking in from the bathroom. He had changed as well and was now wearing a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"No. I'm about to crash too."

Nathan stood look there looking at Haley. She tried to read his face but she wasn't sure she could. Was he looking for her permission to leave? Did he want to spend the night in Rachel's room, too? It was something they had done as kids, always when this happened to Rachel, but that was years ago. Things were different now.

"Well…um...my sheets are in the wash so…I guess I'll just…"Nathan stammered.

Haley sat up on the bed. "You can come sit with me. We can watch some tv. I'm warning you that I might fall asleep though."

"Just like old times, huh?" Nathan asked joining her on the bed.

* * *

"Haley? Haley?"

Haley eyes fluttered open to see Nathan's blue eyes piercing into her.

"Huh?"

"You fell asleep. Why don't you lie down? I'll get up."

"No, no. We can both sleep here. Just like old times right?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I really don't want to be alone when she comes out of it anyway."

Nathan scooted behind Haley as they both lied on their sides facing the tv. He propped himself up on one arm and let his second arm fall down around Haley's waist. Nathan could feel Haley shiver as his hand reached her waist.

"Are you cold, Hales?" Haley could feel his breath as he whispered in her ear.

"No. I'm fine." Haley was actually feeling kind of hot. It was as if Nathan's body was radiating heat onto her. After a few minutes, Haley was able to relax and unconsciously snuggled against Nathan's body behind her. Nathan immediately shot up as he felt Haley move up against him.

"What?" Haley asked confused.

"I got cold." Nathan reached for the blanket at the end of the bed. He put one edge behind him and left the bulk of the blanket in between the lower half of him and Haley.

Since last summer, Nathan had been much better at controlling his hormones, but being this close to Haley, who was wearing _his shirt_, with _his name and number_ on the back was testing his limits. He didn't want to leave her, but he also needed to keep his hormones in check.

As he got settled, Nathan propped himself back up on one arm and this time was careful to rest his other arm across his side. Haley turned and looked up at him with her big brown eyes. Nathan wasn't sure but they seemed to be looking for something. Comfort? Friendship? Or was it more than that?

Nathan put his arm back down around Haley's waist and she relaxed again. This time she intentionally snuggled up against him and put her hand over his letting him know this was what she wanted.

In that moment Haley could no longer deny to herself how she felt. She felt so safe in Nathan's arms, she always had. It was more than that though. Nathan had a way of making her feel special. This whole night had been about Rachel, but right now she was happy to have Nathan's full, undivided attention. Haley knew this is what she wanted more than anything. She also knew the moment was fleeting and would not last.

Haley wasn't sure how Nathan felt and everything else seemed so complicated anyway. She closed her eyes and tried to take in everything so she could remember it. She could feel Nathan's breath on the back of her neck and smell his aftershave. She could both hear and feel his heart beating and swore hers was beating in sync with his. His hand was around her waist and their hands were intertwined. Haley could also feel Nathan's bicep against her arm. It was this feeling that seemed to excite Haley the most. Maybe it was because this was so new for her. Haley had been this close to Nathan so many times before, sometimes in almost this same position, but now that they were older, and their bodies were changing, her hormones were definitely kicking in. After taking a few deep breaths and focusing on the rhythm of Nathan's heart, Haley tried to shift her attention so she could get back to sleep.

* * *

"HOW DARE YOU? GET THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM BEFORE I BEAT YOU TO DEATH!" Nathan flinched as he felt a sharp pain on his ear. He opened his eyes to see Rachel standing over him with one of her high heel shoes in her hand.

"And she's back…." Nathan whispered into Haley's ear as he instinctively moved himself to shield Haley.

* * *

Preview of next chapter 4: "You and Me" (Lifehouse)

AN: If you are into music, the songs I pick are worth listening to because I did spend a lot of time picking them out. I pick them based on lyrics and those played on OTH. I know the songs for chapters 2 and 3 were not on OTH, the artists have been featured, which is good enough for me! For other chapters, I just couldn't help but pick other songs I thought would fit (such as the prologue- I am a huge Killers fan). Overall, I love OTH music, though so let me know if there is a song from OTH that would have fit better than what I picked!


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 4: "You and Me" (Lifehouse)

One minute Haley was sleeping soundly with Nathan's arms around her waist and the next she woken with a jolt as his weight shifted on top of her. She could hear both Rachel and Nathan screaming but she couldn't make out their words as she squirmed to get out of Nathan's grip. Finally, Haley was able to push herself off the bed and onto the floor. With Haley at her feet, Rachel was forced to take a step back and stop hitting Nathan.

Haley shot to her feet and blocked Rachel's access to Nathan. Nathan was curled up on the bed with his hands in a defensive position.

"Rachel…Rachel..." Haley said softly. She took Rachel's shoe from her hands and took her hands in hers. "Rachel...It's okay. You're okay. It's me, Haley. And Nathan's here. No one's going to hurt you. You're safe now."

"Haley?" Rachel asked quietly. Tears began streaming down her face.

"Yes. Can you see me? Can you hear me?" Haley asked squeezing her hands.

"Help me, Haley," Rachel pleaded as she looked into her eyes.

"Yes. Come on. Let's get you back into bed. You need some rest. I'll be right here if you need anything." Haley walked Rachel over to her bed and held up the covers as she climbed in. Haley sat the edge of the bed as Rachel curled up on a ball facing the wall. She looked over to Nathan.

Nathan was lying on the daybed staring at the ceiling. He knew that Haley had a way with Rachel and it was best to just leave them alone. Nathan tried to stay as quiet and still as possible but he could already feel several areas of his body throbbing from Rachel's assault.

When Haley was sure she was asleep, she quietly got up and approached Nathan. He scooted over and she joined him on the bed. They laid there for a while looking at each other, not needing words to communicate. They just read the emotions in each other's eyes. They shared disappointment, shock, and exhaustion. Most of all, they were haunted.

"You hurt?" Haley whispered.

Nathan gave her a look to suggest he would be fine. Haley knew that he was just trying to be tough. His ear was red and he kept touching a spot on his side under his ribs.

Haley got up and motioned for Nathan to join her.

"What about..?"

"Shhhh. She'll be okay," Haley said continuing to motion to him.

"Are you sure we should leave her?" Nathan asked as they entered his bedroom.

"She's asleep. She actually usually sleeps pretty good after shutting down. Plus, I think you may need some ice." Haley lifted up his shirt and saw several large and small red areas, some already starting to bruise, on his side and extending over to his back.

"Nathan!"

"I'm fine. Just a little sore. Don't worry about me."

"Look at your ear too!" Haley said still examining him."I've never seen her be so violent Nate." Haley shot Nathan a look of concern which he returned.

"Me either. I thought they were over. Thank God you were here. You know how to handle her." Nathan began shaking his head in disbelief. "I wonder how long this has been going on. Great brother I am-not even knowing how my sister was still going through this."

Nathan closed his eyes and began to breathe heavily. Haley recognized these signals and put her hand to his chest over his heart. In the past, this had help to relax Nathan but as his breaths began to become heavier and more intermittent, Haley began to panic slightly as she was unsure what to do next.

Nathan tried to focus on regaining his breathing. He hadn't had a panic attack in a long time and although Haley was trying to help, her hand on his chest just made his heart beat faster. Haley then moved her arms around him, taking him in a hug, with her head nestled against his chest. Nathan immediately began to relax as he put his arms around her as he stroked her back lightly. He tried to focus on the rhythm of Haley's breaths and the beating of her heart.

Haley was relieved that she was still able to have a calming effect on Nathan. When she felt he was okay, she pulled back a little and looked up at him to finish their conversation.

"Well, great best friend I am too. Look, I'm thinking this hasn't been going on much, Nate, because we would have found out, you know? I mean, if Rachel flipped out like that someone would have said something or tried to get her help."

"Like we did? We never got her help, Haley." Haley could see the guilt in Nathan's eyes. She couldn't help but feel it as well.

"We were just kids, Nathan," Haley said taking his hand. "We didn't know better. We also trusted that your parents would, you know, be parents." Haley stopped for a second realizing how that might sound. Haley did not want to knock the Scotts. They had always accepted her into their home over the years without hesitation. "I didn't mean you don't have good parents Nathan."

"It's okay, Haley. You were there, Haley. Through it all. You know the real Scotts; the real Dan and Deb. They tried to help her, but they couldn't get past their own issues. They still haven't. I still wonder if we could have done something different though, you know? Maybe told your parents or a teacher or something?"

"My parents wouldn't have let me be around you and Rachel anymore. I know that. And I'm selfish too you know, Nate. I was there and I needed both of you. I still do." Haley looked intently into Nathan's eyes to let him know how serious she was.

"What about now? Do we try to get her help now?"

"I don't know. I just don't know. But we're in this together."

Nathan gave Haley a weak smile. "I guess we can sleep on this and try to talk to her in the morning."

"Yeah, but if it's like before, she's not going to want to talk about it. It may just be you and me again."

"Isn't it always?"

* * *

Haley came down the stairs into the living room to see Nathan sitting on the couch with her father. They were engrossed with whatever they were watching on ESPN. Haley stood behind the couch waiting for either of them to notice her. She was very excited to be going to her first concert and anxious to get going. Rachel didn't seem to be there so she assumed that meant they would have to stop and pick her up.

Haley leaned over and flicked the back of Nathan's neck.

"Hey!" Nathan shot up and before Haley knew it, her arms were crossed across her chest and Nathan was holding both her wrists in a tight grip. Haley looked at him for a moment before protesting. He was wearing a pair of jeans that seemed to fit very well, along with a short-sleeve black t-shirt that seemed to be tight as well, along with a backwards baseball cap.

Nathan smiled at her. "Is that any way to treat someone who got you U2 tickets?" Haley ignored him as she struggled to get out of his grip. Nathan stood there smirking, barely being affected by Haley's movements as she struggled to get out of his grip.

"Say you're sorry." Haley continued to ignore him while squirming.

"Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you." Nathan pulled Haley over the couch. As he began tickling her, Haley began to squeal.

"Nathan! Stop! Please!"

"Um, Nathan. Think you could get off my daughter while I'm in the same room?" Jimmy asked standing up from the other end of the couch.

Embarrassed, Nathan quickly stood up. "Sorry, Mr. James. I didn't mean to…"

Jimmy laughed. "Well it was just a matter of time before this happened but I just don't need to see it! " Jimmy said exiting the room.

"I'm going to use the bathroom quick." Haley was flustered and wanted to get herself together.

When she was finished, Haley was relieved to see her dad and Nathan chatting in the kitchen.

"Ready?" Nathan said grabbing his keys.

"Yup."

"You two have a good time tonight. And keep it PG rated huh?" Jimmy said eyeing them both.

Haley rolled her eyes as she gave her father a quick kiss on the cheek. Nathan had spent a lot of time over her house over the past couple of weeks and Haley had given up responding to her parent's incessant teasing.

"You have the Rover?" Haley asked as she spotted Nathan's father's car in her driveway.

"Well, Tim and Damien are coming so I needed the room." Haley shot Nathan a disgusted look. She was starting to get a sick feeling in her stomach. "I know, I know, but you're going to be with Rachel right? And Rachel's already pissed that we've been hanging out and you know how she gets. We all have floor tickets so you two don't need to be with us and can take off."

"Well, I guess I don't have a choice," Haley said irritated.

Nathan knew she'd be disappointed but things were so touchy with Rachel that he thought it would help if he had some friends with him. There seemed to be a thick cloud of tension whenever it was just the three of them.

"Just give them a chance, Hales. You don't even know them." Nathan knew that Tim and Damien were not the nicest guys but they played the same sports and hung with the same crew so he was hoping that Haley learn to deal with them. They would probably never be friends but Nathan didn't really want them to be around her much anyway. Hopefully group things like this would be okay though.

Nathan waited in the car as Haley ran in the Scott house to grab Rachel. Just when Nathan was beginning to get impatient, Rachel bolted out of the house and jumped in the front seat.

"Ha, ha! Shot gun!"

Haley climbed into the back seat as Nathan glared as his sister. Minutes later they pulled up to a long driveway that seemed to go on forever. They finally pulled up to a spacious mansion on sprawling estate. Off in the distance there seemed to be some smaller houses and as well as a stable.

"Are you kidding me?" Haley had never seen a home like this. It made the Scott's houses pale in comparison.

"Damien's dad is…. connected," Nathan explained.

"What does connected mean?"

"Who knows? My dad does some business with him so I try not to ask too many questions."

"Is Tim's house like this too?"

"No, but Tim is supposed to be here anyway. Here they come."

Haley tried not to cringe as Damien moved right up against her in the backseat. He immediately put his hand on her knee and smiled brightly at her.

"Hey, Haley. How's it going? Looking to have a good time tonight?" Haley pushed his hand away and looked over at Tim who was shutting the car door. She really wished Tim had sat next to her instead of Damien. She really didn't like either of them, but Tim seemed to be the less aggressive of the two. He was always looking to Nathan and Damien to follow their lead and never directly talked to Haley. Haley caught Nathan's eye in his mirror and silently pleaded for help.

Nathan adjusted his rearview mirror glaring at Damien. He hadn't planned on Haley having to sit next to him and he started to feel is blood boil at the sight of Damien's hand on Haley's knee. Already the night was not going as planned and Nathan was beginning to think maybe this concert wasn't the best idea.

* * *

As soon as the car was parked, Haley jumped out of the car and ran around to Rachel. She grabbed her hand and rushed off towards the entrance. The ride had been uncomfortable, to say the least. Every time Damien spoke Haley felt like it was some type of sexual innuendo. She couldn't get away fast enough. Rachel seemed to be happy to shake the boys as well, as the two girls laughed as they went through security.

"So should we get some drinks first?" Rachel asked holding up her fake id.

"Rachel! You can't do that!"

"I can and I am! Let's go!"

Haley grabbed Rachel's handing her to stop. "Please, Rachel. I just want to have a good time." Haley began to look around for Nathan but there were so many people around them that she began to think she might see him for the rest of the night. She doubted she could handle a drunken Rachel all by herself and began to get real nervous.

Rachel sensed Haley's uneasiness and backed down. "Fine, but if you change your mind, drinks are one me! Let's go get a good spot."

* * *

Haley couldn't believe how close she and Rachel were to the stage. Leave it to Rachel to be able to maneuver her way through hoards of people to the front. They were now very giddy as the opening act finished up and lights dimmed for U2 to come on. They began jumping up and down along with the people around them and screaming in anticipation. Rachel and Haley were having a blast and Haley was happy that they were able to shake the boys. As if she just jinxed herself, she spotted Tim out of the corner of her eye. Sure enough, Damien was heading towards them as well. Haley couldn't see Nathan anywhere in sight though. Just then, the band came on Haley got caught up in the excitement. They opened with "Elevation" which seemed to make the crowd go wild as they sang along with Bono.

When the song ended, Haley noticed that Tim and Damien were standing right next to her. She refused to look at them and instead focused on sharing her excitement with Rachel.

After Bono welcomed the crowd, the intro chords to one of Haley's favorite songs, "With or Without You," filled the air. At the same time, Haley felt Nathan behind which sent chills down her spine. She didn't need to turn around; she just sensed his presence. Haley stood very still, entranced by the music as her body became very relaxed. They band played an extended intro but as soon as Bono began signing, Haley felt Nathan's hands slip around her waist. With the words "And I'm waiting for you" Nathan pulled Haley right up to him. Haley wasn't sure what was happening. Her insides were going crazy as she was caught up in the music and Nathan's touch. They began to sway together to the music and when Bono belted out the chorus to the song, Nathan leaned in and whispered into Haley's ear.

"This is our song, Hales."

Haley felt confused with those words. She knew the lyrics to the song and wasn't sure she wanted this to be their song. Even more, she wasn't sure what Nathan meant when he said that. Thinking maybe she heard him wrong, Haley decided to let herself continue to enjoy the moment. There was something special about seeing one of your favorite musicians perform live with the arms of a special boy around you.

As the song ended, Haley turned around looked at Nathan in the eyes. It was dark out, but as she could still make out the shade of his deep blue eyes and was lost for a moment. They smiled at each other as Haley turned back around to trying to figure out what the next song would be. She half-expected Nathan to take his hands off her waist, but he continued to hold her tight. Haley felt her body tingling at the thought of Nathan staying with her like this for the entire concert.

"You cold, Hales?"

"A little." Haley was wearing a short-sleeve short and it was cooler now that night had fallen but Haley knew that it was Nathan's touch that was causing her to shiver.

Nathan began running his hands up and down Haley's arms trying to warm her up. Haley thought she might jump out of her skin and so she turned around smiled at Nathan letting him know she was warmed up. Haley smiled as his hands clasped around her waist.

After a few more songs, Haley realized Rachel was no longer next to her.

"Where did Rachel go?"

"I think she went to the bathroom," Tim answered.

Haley looked at Nathan worried. "She'll be fine. She's a big girl, Haley. This is your night…" Nathan said as she stroked her arm and gave her a reassuring look "…Just relax and enjoy the show."

Haley turned around and leaned back against Nathan.

Nathan tried to push his concern away. He wanted to believe the words he said to Haley, but he also knew Rachel was probably pissed that he was standing with Haley and she had probably taken off. Nathan didn't care though. After the car ride there, he needed to send a message to Damien about leaving Haley alone this was the best way he knew how. There was no way he was going to leave Haley so he could go look for his sister.

Haley and Nathan were relieved when Rachel returned two songs later. Haley's relief soon soured as she spotted the beer cup in Rachel's hand. She signaled to Nathan but his stance remained firm. He was clearly telling her not to worry. Haley resigned herself to taking Nathan's lead as she settled back into his arms to watch the show.

During the course of the show, Rachel, Tim and Damien disappeared at various times. Nathan knew they were going to get drinks, but he resolved himself to sticking with Haley. There was an energy around them in the crowd and they soaked it all in as they enjoyed the music. He knew there would be a price to pay for it later, definitely with Rachel and maybe even with Tim and Damien if they got on his case for not drinking, but he didn't care. Being with Haley felt right and Nathan was happy to admit the night had turned out much better than he expected.

When the show ended after the second encore and masses of people began to exit, Nathan held Haley's hand, guiding her out. After taking quick bathroom breaks, Haley was excited as Nathan took her hand again as they walked to the car. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits as they chatted about the show. Haley and Nathan didn't even mind that Rachel, Tim and Damien seemed to be buzzed as they were high on adrenaline themselves. This time, Nathan made sure Haley sat in the front with him as he walked her to the door and opened the car door for her.

Shortly after they reached the highway, Rachel, Tim and Damien fell asleep. Nathan and Haley drifted into a comfortable silence with occasional bouts of conversation. She was surprised when the pulled into the Scott's driveway after dropping off Tim and Damien.

"Aren't you going to drive me home?"

"I thought maybe I could walk you home?"

Confused and excited at the same time, Haley nodded. Nathan gently woke Rachel up and they waited as she stumbled inside.

Nathan took Haley's hand as they headed toward her house.

"So did you have a good time tonight?" Nathan asked looking at Haley.

"Yes, I did," Haley said smiling.

"Good. So did I."

"Thank you, Nathan. For taking me to my first concert and sticking by me all night. It was nice," Haley said earnestly.

"It was, wasn't it? Speaking of first times, I have something to ask you." Haley noticed Nathan getting a little flustered and in turn she began to get nervous. They continued walking as Haley waited for him to continue.

"How would you feel about having me take you to your first high school dance?" Haley looked at Nathan in surprise. "Homecoming is in a couple of weeks and most people usually go stag but I thought it might be nice if we went together."

"Like, on a date?"

"Like, as my date? Not, a date/date though. I don't think we'd ever hear the end of it from your parents if I took you on real date."

Haley felt her heart drop at his words. It had only been for a couple of seconds, but Haley had her hopes up with his question. Haley tried not to look disappointed as she accepted that this would just be another nice thing Nathan was trying to do for her.

"Sure."

Nathan smiled at her answer. He hadn't planned on asking Haley to homecoming but after the concert, he wanted something else to look forward too. Nathan was caught off guard at her date question and surprised himself at his response. He knew Haley was disappointed it wasn't a real date and although he couldn't explain why, he just knew it was best to keep things as friendly as possible for now. Things seem to be changing so fast between them and although he was trying to slow it down, his racing heart told him he was fighting a losing battle.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me" (Fall Out Boy)

AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. I really appreciate you taking the time to write them. They are so encouraging and mean a lot to me!


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 5: "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me"(Fall Out Boy)

"Haley Bob! Your handsome date is here!" Lydia called up the stairs to Haley.

Haley checked herself in the mirror one last time. She was wearing a salmon colored strapless dress that cinched at her waist and hung straight down to her knees. Her hair was pinned up with curls falling down the back of her head. She applied one last coat of lipstick and headed down the stairs in her new strappy heels.

She smiled as Nathan fell into her sight. He was wearing a blue collared shirt that seemed to match the shade of his eyes, along with pinstriped tie, sports coat and dress pants. Her mom had used the words handsome, but the word "hot" came to Haley's mind.

Nathan returned her smile as she reached the bottom of the stairs. He gestured for her hand and placed a wrist corsage on it, his smiling growing wider as he noticed the bracelet he gave her for her birthday.

They both remained quiet as the James fussed over taking pictures before they headed out. Haley was relieved when she spotted Nathan's sports car as they headed out the door. She had been worried that this might turn into a group thing ever since Nathan stressed this wasn't a real date. She began to relax as Nathan held open the car door for her, knowing that she had Nathan all to herself.

Nathan tried to get himself in check as he started the car. Ever since Haley came down the stairs, looking beautiful in a way he had never seen before, his stomach had been in knots. He hadn't been able to even speak to her yet and knew he was going to have figure out something fast before it got uncomfortable.

Haley came to his rescue by being the first to speak. "So do we have assigned seats or can we just sit anywhere?"

Nathan started to explain the evening to her. "We just sit anywhere. They just do tables for the prom. I was thinking we'd sit with Damien, Tim, Jake and their dates-if that's okay." Haley nodded. She had figured as much. "Then they announce the homecoming court-which is all seniors-at the end of the night. Everyone pretty much leaves after that. Then the parties start. I know you probably won't want to go though and your parents would kill me anyway so I thought I'd just bring you home."

Haley nodded. She wasn't excited by the thought of Nathan dropping her off and then heading to some party, but she understood why. It wasn't fair to expect him to miss out because of her and it was nice enough that he was taking her as his date to such a big dance, her first dance. As a football player, homecoming was a big deal and she knew everyone would have their eyes on Nathan and his friends. The after parties were a place for them all to let loose and celebrate and he would be expected to be there.

* * *

"Hey, Hales. Isn't that what they call you? Looking pretty fine tonight." Haley rolled her eyes as Damien approached her. Nathan had left to get them some drinks and had stopped to talk to one of the football coaches.

"Seriously, Damien? Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Listen to me," he said grabbing her arm, "do you know who I am? No one, especially not some dorky freshmen girl talks to me that way! How about showing me some respect?" Damien leaned in closer, allowing her to smell the alcohol on his breath and squeezed her arm even tighter. "Besides, Nathan and I have a little deal going you should know about. He gets a taste of my leftovers and I get a taste of his. So how do you taste, Hales? I'll find out sooner or later. How about sooner?"

Haley jerked away from him and ran for the ladies room. Once inside she locked herself in a stall and let herself cry a few tears. She wanted to go home and decided she needed to find Nathan to tell him. She exited the stall and tried to fix some of her smudged make up before heading out but she didn't have her purse on her. A hand suddenly appeared beside her with some makeup.

"Put some of that under your eye and it will hide the puffiness."

Haley looked over to see Peyton looking at her with concern. "Thanks," Haley said accepting the offer.

"So is Nathan really that much of a jerk, huh?"

"No. It's not Nathan. He's been really good to me. It's someone else. Just some loser who won't leave me alone."

"So why don't you tell Nathan? I mean, I don't know him well but he seems the type that would clock the guy."

"It's one of his friends. But I'll probably tell him anyway. I just don't want to tell him here."

"Well, let's go outside together then. I'll stick with you. I'm here with my friend Brooke. I think we're actually all in the same Spanish class."

"Yeah and we met at Nathan's beach house."

"Right! It was your party, right?"

"Well it was supposed to be!" Haley said laughing a little.

"Yeah, I don't really know how I ended up there. I think Rachel invited us. I don't know her well but she invited one of my friends and we just all ended up there. Hope that was okay?"

"Yeah. It was fine," Haley said sincerely. "As long as Lucas came, I was fine," she added, purposely baiting her.

"So…. is Lucas here?" Peyton asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"No. This isn't his thing. But I do know where he hangs out if you want to go sometime."

"Really? Where?" Peyton wasn't even bothering to try to hide her giddiness as they left the bathroom and headed towards Brooke.

"It's a place called the River Court. It overlooks Cape Fear. He plays basketball there with his friends. Then, there's his mom's café…"

* * *

True to her word, Peyton had stuck by Haley all night. They had danced to the fast songs and Nathan joined her for the slow ones. Nathan didn't seem to mind Haley hanging out with the girls as he stood around with the football team watching all the girls dance. He eyes never strayed far from Haley, entranced at seeing this side of her. She seemed to enjoy dancing and was smiling and laughing. Haley was different around these girls compared to how she was with Rachel. He knew that Haley and Rachel enjoyed each other's company but he sensed it was more out of familiarity than anything else. There was always intensity in their relationship, mostly created by Rachel, which prevented Haley from relaxing. He had never seen her lighten up like she had tonight as danced with Brooke and Peyton.

"And now for our last slow song of the evening before we announce the court," announced the DJ.

Haley smiled as she heard the familiar chords ring out. Nathan appeared in front of her smiling and extending his hand.

"Nathan? Did you…"

"Yeah, I put in a request. How did you know?"

"Well, this is not exactly a new song, Nathan. I doubt he would play 'With or Without You' on his own."

"Took me fifty bucks to convince him."

"Nathan!"

"What?" Nathan smiled. "It was worth it. I told you. It's our song."

Haley looked at Nathan utterly confused. Now sure that she had heard him right at the concert, she focused again the lyrics to make sure she understood. She just couldn't seem to wrap her head around it. It was not a happy love song that was for sure. Then again, Nathan had made it clear that this was not a date. But why would two people have "a song" if they were just friends? Haley decided she was going to ask Nathan about it later before it drove her crazy.

When the song finished, Brooke and Peyton joined Haley on the dance floor as a fast song began to play. Haley grabbed Nathan's hands so he couldn't leave and begged him to stay. Nathan reluctantly agreed as he tried to move a little to look like he was dancing. He really would rather just stand on the sidelines watching Haley, but he couldn't resist her pleading looks or the way she looked in that dress. He liked being close to her even if it meant looking like a fool on the dance floor.

After a couple of songs, the dance floor cleared as the homecoming court was announced. Haley didn't know any of the people named, but since it was mostly cheerleaders and football players, she imagined Nathan would be standing up there next year. Haley's thoughts then traveled back to Damien. She had managed to avoid him the rest of the night and even forgot about him once she started dancing. Haley felt lucky she had run into Peyton in the bathroom. She had misjudged her and Brooke as superficial, peppy, boy-crazy cheerleaders. She could still see that in Brooke, but she also saw a fierce protective side emerge as Peyton had explained Haley's situation. Brooke seemed to warm up to Haley even more once she realized Haley was willing to show them where Lucas hung out. They had both apparently enjoyed Lucas' company at her party.

As the night ended, Haley dreading telling Nathan about Damien, but she felt like she had to. As they got into his car, Haley struggled with whether she should tell him before she dropped her off or some other time.

"Everything okay, Hales?" Nathan asked sensing Haley's preoccupation.

"Yeah. I had a good time. You?" Haley just couldn't bring herself to ruin Nathan's night and decided to tell him later.

"Me too." Nathan turned and looked at her. Feeling his glaze, Haley began to bite her lip. She felt strange having Nathan stare at her like that. She began to worry that her makeup was smudged and she looked a mess.

"Did I tell you look beautiful tonight, Hales?" Nathan asked softly, still looking over at her as they were stopped at a red light. Haley could feel her checks redden as she began to blush.

Nathan had to admit it drove him crazy when she blushed like that. Wanting to see her blush some more, he added "And sexy too? You look real sexy in that dress."

Haley's eyes widened as she felt her face flush. Nathan laughed as the redness traveled down to her neck. Haley had never felt so embarrassed but she was now sure that Nathan was teasing her and decided to flirt back.

"Well, too bad this wasn't a real date, huh?" Haley shot back as they pulled into her driveway.

Not waiting for him to get her door, Haley quickly exited the car. She leaned in and added "Thanks for the –letting me be your date, 'but this isn't a real date/date." Haley smiled as she saw the expression on Nathan's face. She had definitely caught him off guard and felt proud of herself as she shut the car door. Walking towards her front door, she was surprised when she heard another car door shut. Haley spun around to see Nathan at her heels.

"What, no good night kiss?" Nathan asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"Well, I thought you only kiss on date? Since this isn't a date, then no kiss."

Nathan continued to follow her as she unlocked the door. He loved seeing this side of Haley tonight and was determined not to let the night end.

"What if I said it was a date then? Would you kiss me then?"

Haley's felt like her heart was ready to beat out of her chest at the thought of her and Nathan kissing. In fact, she actually was worried Nathan could actually hear how fast her heart was beating.

"Don't you have some parties to go to?" Haley asked clearly avoiding the question as she walked into her house. She was surprised when Nathan followed her inside.

"No. I told you I was taking you home and not going to the parties." Haley's heart melted a bit as she realized she had misunderstood his intentions.

Nathan sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. It looked like he was planning on staying. Haley figured she might as well get comfortable as she took off her heels and began to pull out the pins from her hair letting her curls fall down around her face. Nathan stared at her as she shook her long curls so they away from her face.

Haley looked curiously at Nathan who was gawking at her. She was convinced that any chances of him thinking she looked sexy were gone as she started to get more comfortable.

"You want something to eat? Maybe some ice cream?"

"Sure," Nathan said looking for a distraction as he followed her into the kitchen.

"Are your parents in bed?"

"I think so."

"So we have the kitchen all to ourselves?" Nathan asked with a mischievous grin.

"We do. So would you like chocolate or strawberry?" Haley said ignoring his teasing.

"Chocolate."

As they settled into eating, Haley decided it was a good time to talk to him.

"Nathan, can I talk to you about something that's bothering me?"

"Okay. Why do I feel like I'm in trouble?" Nathan said concerned at the serious tone in Haley's voice.

"No, not right now anyway," Haley smiled. "But I don't think you're going to like this," Haley said turning serious.

"What did Rachel do now?"

"Nathan! Let me speak will you?"

"Fine." Nathan felt uneasy as he looked into her big brown eyes. Haley looked like she might cry. That look affected Nathan more than any other. He could barely keep her gaze as her eyes began to slightly water. He could tell she was trying to hold back the tears. Haley hated crying and since it was a rarity, Nathan always couldn't stand to watch her get upset like that.

"Damien said some things to me tonight."

"Is that it?" Nathan asked relieved. Haley looked at Nathan surprised at his reaction as he put his bowl in the sink. He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Listen, Hales, he's an idiot okay? And don't believe anything he says. I'm pretty sure he had a few in him before he came to the dance anyway."

Haley began to get angry at Nathan's dismissive attitude. "He grabbed me by the arm, Nathan! And told me he was used to tasting your leftovers and wanted to taste me!" Haley's eyes seemed to be on fire as she raised her voice.

"Shhh. You're going to wake your parents up!" Nathan said whispering.

"That's all you can say? You're worried about waking my parents up? What about me? Are you worried about me? Because I am Nathan!"

"What do you want me to do Haley? Beat him up? Come on! I play football and basketball with the guy. And you've seen how much money he has. No one messes with that kid or his family."

"So that's it? I'm just supposed to let him touch me like that and talk to me like that? Am I supposed to let him get a taste of me too?"

Nathan signed heavily. "No, of course not. Do you trust me, Haley?" Haley nodded slightly. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. _I won't let him near you_."

"Will you talk to him?"

Nathan hesitated. "I don't think it will help anything. No one tells him what to do. Even the coaches are a little afraid of him. I'm telling you if you think Dan Scott is scary, then you should meet Mr. West."

"I still think you should say something to him. Just ask him to leave me alone."

"If that's what you want me to do, I'll do it." Nathan moved in close to her and brushed her check with his hand. "I told you I'm here for you Haley and I meant it. You can come to me with anything."

Haley began to relax. If Nathan didn't seem concerned about this, then she would trust his judgment. She smiled back at him.

"Thanks. There is one other thing though…"

"What did Tim did something too? He usually falls right in line with Damien."

Haley looked at him annoyed. Nathan realized he cut her off again and made a gesture zipping his lips.

"I just don't understand why 'With or Without' is our song. Have you listened to the lyrics?"

"Kind of. It's a nice song. It's about a boy waiting for a girl, right?"

"At first, but then it's like half 'I want to be with you,' the other half 'I can't be with you.' I'm just confused at what you mean when you say it's 'our song.' Don't I get a say in what our song is?"

Nathan laughed. "I guess so. I guess I never thought about it much. I don't pay much attention to song lyrics."

"Well, you should, especially when picking out our song."

"That's fair. Maybe it's not our song then. Maybe it's my song to you then."

"What does that mean?" Haley asked exasperated.

"Maybe I'm trying to decide if I should be with or without you." Haley could tell by Nathan's smile that he was teasing her again.

"Oh, yeah? Well, when will I know the answer to that one?"

"Trust me, Hales. When I make up my mind- you'll know!" Nathan smirked as Haley caught his sparkling blue eyes.

Haley looked down to try to hide her blushing cheeks.

"I should probably get going."

"No! Let's go watch Saturday Night Live. Please?"

"Okay, but you can't sit next to me on the couch."

"Why not?"

"Because I know you'd be looking for some Nathan Scott action and I still haven't decided if I want to be with or without you yet."

Haley elbowed him as she passed him heading into the living room. Nathan leaned over and whispered into her ear. "Plus you have an unfair advantage with your hair down like that. And I thought you looked sexy before!"

Haley was grateful he was behind her so he couldn't see the effect he was having on her as she blushed yet again.

* * *

"Rachel, I can't try that on!"

"Actually you could, but whatever. How about this one?"

Haley wasn't crazy about that top either but at least it would cover her stomach. They had been shopping for almost three hours now and even though Haley's patience was beginning to get tested, she had to admit she was having fun. She couldn't remember the last time she and Rachel had got along so well. Haley was beginning to think she had finally figured out the secret to being stick in the middle between Nathan and Rachel. Over the past month she had been spending time with each of them separately but never together. Rachel was usually the one to get upset when the three of them were together, but as long as it was just her and Haley, she seemed fine.

Nathan, on the other hand, was just content as always stopping by the James house to see everyone. Since homecoming, things had settled down between them as they fell into a routine of incessant teasing whenever they were together. Much to Haley's chagrin, they hadn't spent any real time alone together though, so she hadn't been able to test his feelings for her. She also hadn't been able to ask him about Damien either. Haley had noticed that Nathan was careful to steer him away from her every chance he had. She appreciated that and assumed that their conversation had gone okay since Damien stayed away.

"That looks great on you Hales! You are so getting it." Haley really didn't want the shirt but she also didn't want to let Rachel down. Her eyes widened as she glanced at the price tag. Rachel had her own credit card that seemed to have no limit, but Haley only had her babysitting money and it was nowhere enough to cover the cost. She tried to discreetly put the shirt back on the rack as Rachel finished up in the dressing room.

"I'm going to looking in Bath and Body next door. Okay, Rach?"

"I'll be right out!"

Haley was sniffing some of the body lotion when Rachel sprung up behind her throwing a small bag into her hands.

"What's this?"

"Your shirt. Thought I wouldn't notice you put it back?"

"Rachel, I can't take this."

"Sure, you can. My treat. Or my dad's treat to be exact."

Haley was touched at Rachel's thoughtful gesture. She was always a little self-conscious about money when she was around the Scotts but that was her own issue. The Scotts had always been generous to Haley in a natural, unpretentious way.

"Well thank him for me then! So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Ugh! My grandparents are coming over. That means my parents are going to be acting all phony and picture perfect. I'll have to be on my best behavior so they think we are this happy, normal family! What about you?"

"Another crazy James holiday I'm sure. Quinn, David, Vivian and her family are flying in. And who knows about Hurricane Taylor? Are you going to bake with us on Wednesday?"

Ever since she could remember, Rachel had spend the day before Thanksgiving in the James kitchen baking pies, cakes and cookies for the holiday. Most of the time, she brought some of those desserts to her own home, but there had been a few holidays the James and Scotts spent together. That hadn't happened for a while though as Haley, Rachel and Nathan grew older and the Scott's had started fighting. Haley knew from both Rachel and Nathan that Dan and Deb hadn't been spending much time together and when they were under the same roof, they had been fighting. Haley was guessing it wasn't going to be a good holiday for the Scotts.

"I wouldn't miss it! Especially if it gets me away from Pleasantville!" Rachel linked arms with Haley as they finally head out of the mall.

* * *

"So excited for the big pep rally?" Haley said leaning against Nathan's locker.

"Not really. At least I don't have to talk in front of everyone though. I really just want to play in this big game. You know my Dad is actually going?"

Haley could read the mixed emotions on Nathan's face. The Thanksgiving game was the last game of the season, but one of the biggest as they faced their long-time rivals. The town usually turned out to watch the game, but Dan hadn't gone to a single one since Nathan joined the team.

"Really?"

"I think it's just because my grandparents will be around," Nathan said looking down. Haley knew that Nathan was struggling with this and she was happy he was opening up to her. They hadn't been able to talk much that week and she knew she might not have the chance to talk to him much more before the game.

"You can come by, you know. Join us for dessert or something?"

Nathan smiled back at her. "I'm not sure I'll be allowed to. My father will be watching my every move."

Haley could feel the tension radiate from him as she spoke. She yearned to lean up and put her arms around him in a tight hug, but she knew she couldn't do that in the middle of the hallway.

"You're coming to the game, right?" Nathan asked her.

"Yeah. I'm actually going with Brooke and Peyton."

"You've become friendly with them huh?"

"They're pretty cool. I really think they just want to be around Lucas though!" Haley cringed as she quickly realized it was probably not smart to mention Lucas. Nathan still wasn't wild about Haley's friendship with him but he didn't bring it up anymore. The last thing Haley wanted to do was add to his stress right with the idea of his cousin.

Nathan signed. "My grandparents are actually heading over to see Lucas and his family after dinner so maybe I will be able to come by after all. I know I'm going to need to escape the madness at some point."

"You're welcome at my house anytime, Nate. You know that."

"I just want to know you'll be at the game. The more people I have rooting for me, the better."

Haley swore she could feel his pain as looked into his eyes. She didn't understand how a father could root against his own son, but Nathan really believed his father wanted him to fail, especially when it a come to football, a sport he resented.

"I'll be there," Haley confirmed.

"Good." Nathan smiled weakly at Haley as he shut his locker. The sense of dread that was looming over him seemed a little lighter after Haley's show of support. He knew if he could just get through this last game, his father might let up on him a bit as they headed into basketball season. Either way, knowing Haley was there to support him helped. He had been keeping things bottled up for the past two years. As things got worse with his parents fighting, Rachel's issues and the pressure from his father and sports, he knew he was starting to crack. Nathan feared reaching his breaking point, knowing the rage that had been festering inside for him for so long, and its potential if it was unleashed.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Half of my Heart" (John Mayer)

AN: Thank you to those of you who left reviews! I am also still looking for some help with editing. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 6: "Half of my Heart" (John Mayer)

"Hey, Rachel! I'm so happy you came! It's been so long since you've been over!" Lydia grabbed Rachel into a hug and kissed her on the cheek.

"I know. I'm sorry," Rachel said sheepishly. Lydia was one of the few people that Rachel always kind to. In many ways, Lydia had been more of a mother to her than Deb, and Rachel loved basking in her warmth. "But I made up for it! Haley told me Viv is coming with the kids so I picked up the goods for a gluten-free recipe we can test out."

"That was so thoughtful, Rachel! I'm sure Johnny will appreciate it."

"I hope so. I'm not sure how it will turn out."

"How are my favorite girls doing?" Jimmy said as entered the kitchen.

"Don't let Taylor hear you say that. She swears she's your favorite," Rachel said giving him a hug.

"Well, what Taylor doesn't know, doesn't hurt her. Just don't tell her. God knows what she'd do!"

"Jimmy! Get out of the kitchen while we are working!" Lydia chastised.

"When's the last time I've seen Rachel? We need to catch up."

"You'll see her at the game tomorrow, Jimmy."

"Lydia, you think Rachel will want to be seen talking to us old folks at the big Thanksgiving Day game in front of all her friends?"

"Are you kidding me? I'd be lucky to be seen talking to you Mr. James," Rachel said winking.

"Well, Haley has already informed us she will be sitting with the 'cool kids' this year so it's okay if you two pretend we don't exist. Oh, the teenage years!"

Haley silently cursed her father as she tried to avoid making eye contact with Rachel. She could feel her eyes burning into her. Haley didn't tell Rachel that she was going to the game with Brooke and Peyton and she knew Rachel was hurt.

"Well I'll be with some 'cool kids' too, but I'll still talk to you." Haley knew Rachel was talking about an entirely different set of "cool kids".

* * *

"So are you excited, Lucas?"

"Football is not really my thing, Hales."

"Not about the game! About hanging out with Brooke and Peyton! I'm not sure, but I think they both have a thing for you."

"You're crazy!"

"If you had to choose….?"

"I don't know! I have a hard time believing they really want to be around me. Nathan is usually the Scott who attracts all the girls."

"Don't sell yourself short, Luke. Here comes trouble!" Haley said as she saw Brooke and Peyton walking toward them.

"Hey, Tutor Girl! Hey, Lucas! Ready for some action?" Brooke said with a flirtatious smile. She grabbed Lucas' arm and pulled him towards the stands.

"Think we have a chance this year?" Peyton asked Haley.

"I hope so. I'm just really excited to see Nathan play. This is his first varsity Thanksgiving game and I think he's going to start too!"

"So are you guys, like, together?"

"No," Haley answered quickly."We are pretty close though. Have been for years. Nathan doesn't do girlfriends," she explained.

Haley wasn't sure why, but she didn't want to confide in Peyton about her feelings for him. It was as if some part of her wanted to keep their relationship all to herself. There was a side to Nathan she was sure no one else saw, a tenderness and vulnerability that he only allowed her to see. As selfish as it was, Haley liked being the only one he could be that way with. She was content to let everyone think Nathan was just another tough jock and player.

"But you have a thing for him right? I mean, he is pretty hot!"

"It's not like that with us." Haley tried to convince herself that she wasn't lying. Their relationship wasn't just physical after all, even though her hormones went crazy lately whenever she saw him.

"And Lucas?"

"I already told you Peyton! We're just friends! Do you really think I would try to hook you up with someone I liked?"

"I guess not."

"But Peyton? Which one of you am I trying to hook up with Lucas?"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "I don't know! Part of me says Brooke, but she just goes from one guy to the next, so part of me says to be selfish and let it me be," Peyton said shaking her head ."Maybe we can all just be friends? If you can be just friends with the Scott boys, who don't even speak to each other, then who's to say Lucas, Brooke and I can't be friends?"

"I guess we'll see…" Haley smiled to herself knowing there was no way that was going to happen. It would be interesting to see how this all played out.

* * *

"Haley, did you say you were going to River Court tomorrow? Because I'd love to join you and see Lucas play! I am a basketball cheerleader you know!" Brooke said as she leaned over Lucas to talk to Haley. "Haley!" she said a bit louder.

"I'm trying to watch the game Brooke!"

The Ravens were up, but only by a field goal and there was only two minutes left on the clock in the fourth quarter. They were all on their feet now as anticipation and nerves filled the air. Haley was slightly annoyed at Brooke and Lucas who had been flirting the entire game. She wasn't even convinced they knew the score, much less who was winning. That was fine, as long as they didn't bother her.

Nathan had played most of the game, much to his father's dismay. Haley could see the Scotts in her line of vision and although his mom and grandparents had been actively cheering, Dan stood and watched with a look of disgust on his face. Haley knew he would be just as happy if Nathan was sitting on the bench instead of playing.

Haley glanced around to see if she could spot Rachel. After being given the silent treatment for rest of the evening while baking, Rachel had stormed out without even saying goodbye to her. The only time she had seen her at the game was smoking a cigarette with some upperclassmen under the bleachers by the bathrooms.

As Haley turned her eyes back to the field, she tried to find Nathan's number. The other team was on the twenty yard line and about to make a drive towards a touchdown. Haley stood on her toes and crossed her fingers as the clock ticked on.

That's when time stopped for Haley and the game stopped mattering.

Nathan went down like a ton of bricks as he caught an interception and was immediately tackled by two of the largest and heaviest lineman Haley had ever seen, followed by three other players. She waited, holding her breath as one by one they got up.

But not Nathan. Nathan laid still.

The trainer ran out to the field and motioned for the stretcher. Haley glanced over at the Scotts and saw his mother and grandmother with her hands clasped over their mouths. She couldn't see Dan anywhere.

She wasn't sure when, but at some point her parents appeared beside her. It was as if you could hear a pin drop in the entire stadium. A stretcher came out and Haley noticed they were extremely careful when moving Nathan onto the stretcher. Her eyes remained peeled to Nathan looking for any sign of movement. Then, just before they reached the sidelines, Nathan held his hand up giving a small wave to crowd signaling he was okay, causing the crowd to cheer in a collective sigh of relief.

* * *

"Are you okay Haley? You didn't eat anything at dinner. We can talk you know."

"I just haven't heard anything. I would have thought someone would have called by now, Quinn."

"I know, but I'm sure he's fine. He probably just had to have all kinds of tests and you know long they make you wait at the hospital."

"I know, but I just wish his mom or Rachel would call."

"Maybe they're all enjoying a nice Thanksgiving meal." Haley almost laughed at that thought of that. Obviously Quinn didn't know the Scotts that well. She could only imagine the grief Dan was giving Nathan at the prospect of him missing basketball season. That was the least of Haley's concern though. She just wanted Nathan to be okay. She wanted to see him, and look in his eyes, but at this point, a phone call would suffice.

Haley jumped as the phone rang. She watched as her mom answered the phone.

"How is he Deb?...No, I don't think so but let me check. Haley? Have you heard from Nathan?"

Confused, Haley walked over to her mother. "No, Mom. Is he okay?" Lydia nodded. "No, Deb. He's not here and Haley hasn't heard from him….Yes, I'll let you know."

"Mom!" Haley said impatiently before Lydia had the chance to put the phone in the receiver.

"Deb said he's fine. They released him but he took off and they have no idea where he went."

"But he's okay?"

"I guess he has a dislocated shoulder, but it's not a fracture so that's good."

Haley knew her mother didn't understand. A dislocated shoulder would mean time away from basketball. Time away from basketball would mean a furious Dan. A furious Dan is what Haley was worried about.

"I'm going to go for a walk." Haley no sooner stepped out the doorway when she spotted Nathan sitting down, knees to his chest by the side door to her house. She could hear his heavy, staggered breathing immediately.

"Nathan?"

Haley crouched down so she was eye level with him. She noticed his arm was in a sling. As he looked up to her, Haley could literally feel his pain. The pain was not stemming from his shoulder. It was a deep seeded pain that came from inside his soul and was spilling out in his eyes.

Nathan slowly stood up and without using any words, Haley let him know she was there for him. She put her head on his good shoulder, careful not to move the sling. Haley waited for his breathing to slow as she let him rub her back. After a couple of minutes his breathing was regular but they continued to stand in place.

"Thank you, Haley."

Knowing he wasn't ready to talk yet, Haley decided it was best to aim for a distraction. "Why don't you come inside? Your mom is worried and I can give her a call and you can get clobbered by the crazy James family! Think you can handle it?"

"Anything is better than my family," Nathan muttered.

* * *

"Thanks for the pie, Mrs. James."

"No problem, Nathan. Take some home too won't you?"

"That'd be great."

"Haley, you didn't tell me your boyfriend was here. Miss me, Nathan?" Taylor said as she leaned over his shoulder.

"Leave him alone, Taylor." Haley's tone was serious as she looked Taylor squarely in the eye.

"Ease up, little sis. He's all yours, trust me."

"Hales, why don't we go for a walk?" Nathan said jumping in.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It's my shoulder Hales. My legs are fine."

"Alright."

They walked in silence until they reached a pier lit walkway along the Cape Fear River which they called the Riverwalk.

"So how bad was it?" Haley said breaking their silence.

"It hurt pretty bad. Then they popped it back into place and now it's just sore. I have to use this sling for two weeks. Then, I start physical therapy. There's a chance I might be able to be ready in time for playoffs..._If we make playoffs_," he emphasized.

"I wasn't talking about your shoulder," Haley said quietly.

Nathan sighed heavily as they sat down on the edge of the pier, their legs hanging over the side.

"I'm not gonna lie. That was pretty bad too. I mean, you probably guessed that from how you found me." Haley nodded and put her arm around him, in a show of support. "Dan flipped out like I've never seen him. He didn't care that my grandparents and the doctors were there. He was screaming at me about how I've ruined everything with football. About how I needed to get my priorities straight, but now it was too late. He actually said I deserved this. That this was sometime of punishment for defying him and playing football. And you want to know the truth Hales?"

Haley nodded, signaling him to continue.

"I think he's right."

"No, Nathan. He's not! How could you think that?"

"I don't even really like football, not like basketball anyway. The only reason I went out for the team was just to spite him. I just wanted to get away from him and do something for me. He's ruined basketball for me. I love the game, but there's always so much pressure. Football is just a release from all that. But I know, deep down, he's right. Basketball is what I'm good at. It's my future if I want it. And now, I think I've ruined it. And worst of all, I let him do that to me."

Haley was moved as he spoke. She had never heard him talk like that before. His voice was wavering and he was as close to tears as she had ever seen him. So much of her wanted to help, to fix him, as he poured his heart out to her, but she didn't know exactly how to do that this time.

"I don't believe that Nathan and neither should you," Haley said with conviction.

"I don't know how much more I can take. I feel like everything is spinning out of control and I can't stop it. My parents are fighting all the time. I know you've seen that, Haley, but I swear it's gotten worse. They're barely ever in the same room and when they are, it always ends in screaming and something being thrown. Then, there's Rachel. She hides, as usual. Always running away and I know she's drinking. I think she's smoking pot, too. I found some joints in the trash. It's like she's not even trying to hide it. How fucked up is that?"

"Has she shut down at all?"

"Not that I know of, but she doesn't come home every night either. I guess they couldn't find her at the game. She didn't even know I got hurt! She just left early and then got a ride home. Then, when my Mom called and talked to her, she said she was going to get a ride to the hospital, but she never showed." Nathan sat there shaking his head looking at Haley. "I really can't deal with all this though. Without basketball, what am I going to do? I can't just be in that house all day, and I know things are only going to get worse."

"There has to be something we can do, Nathan. There has to be something," Haley repeated.

Nathan looked directly into her eyes. She could see his anguish and he could see her hope. "Thanks, Hales. I know you mean well and you're trying to help but I am just going to have to deal with this on my own."

Haley took her arm off his shoulder and held his free hand in hers. "You know that's not true Nathan. You're never on your own. You have me. You have my family."

Nathan swallowed hard and squeezed her hand. "I'm not sure you want me, Haley. Me and my family—we've brought you nothing but problems. I'm sick of all of it Haley. I'm sick of being a burden to you."

"But you're not!" Haley's raised her voice as she began to feel anger creeping up. "That's a cop out and you know it! You're just afraid, Nate! You're forgetting I know you, maybe better than you know yourself! You're trying to push me away right after you opened up. That's the thing I love about you Nate; how let me in, past all the blustering you give everyone else. Don't take away the one thing you have with me that no one else has," Haley's pleaded.

Nathan couldn't resist her. No matter how hard he tried, she was always able to get through to him. He had tried to fight it over the years, feeling guilty for always relying on her. She always gave him so much and he felt like he had nothing to give. Deep down, Nathan knew he was a selfish person and needed her. In this moment, he didn't have it in him to fight her.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just need you to know how messed up I am right now."

"I don't see that Nathan. I see how strong you are." Haley knew he wasn't buying it by the way he was shaking his head but she decided to not push him anymore then she already had. "Here's what we're going to do. You are going to go to school, do your therapy, and spend as much time as possible at my house."

"And what am I going to do there Haley?" Nathan said slightly smiling.

"Study. You are going to spend lots of time studying. I've been nicknamed 'Tutor Girl' by Brooke and I do recall you asking me to help you out."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Nathan flashed his trademark smirk as he leaned into her teasingly. Haley was happy the mood shifted but her mind starting racing with all the possibilities of how Nathan was going to spend his time when he wasn't at her house. "What's wrong, Hales?"

Haley looked at him and hesitated.

"Spit it out, Haley. This goes both ways. If you want me to open up to you, you have to talk to me too."

"I just don't want you to start drinking, Nathan. I've seen what's happened with Rachel and I don't want you to head down that same road. Part of me thinks you already have."

"Don't believe everything you hear. If there's something you want to know, just ask. I'd rather you hear it from me than anyone else."

"I just hear about these parties. Ones with lots of drinking and how all the jocks just hook up with girls. Then, I saw it when you threw that party with me and it just looked like you were part of that scene. It really bothered me."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Haley. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. But just be sure you want to hear it because you might not like what you hear." Part of Nathan was happy she was so concerned about him, but underneath that there was also a fear that he was going to disappoint her. There was no turning back though and if this is what pushed Haley away then it was probably for the best since he didn't feel like he deserved her anyway.

"Well, is it true? Are you one of those guys that gets drunk all the time at parties and hooks up with random girls?"

"Geez, go right for the jugular, huh?" he said with a soft chuckle. Nathan then turned serious. "To some extent, yeah that's true. More so freshmen year. I was young, trying to fit in. I haven't been wasted in a long time though."

"And the girls?"

Nathan shifted uneasily. "I've done things I'm not proud of Haley. I haven't had a girlfriend but I've hooked up with girls. Some that I probably don't remember. But hooking up means different things to different people."

Haley looked at him confused. "What do you mean? That it meant nothing to you?"

"Yes. No. I meant … I haven't had sex, Haley, if that's what you want to know."

Haley flushed at his words. Nathan was looking away from her too.

"Are you surprised?" Nathan asked as he was finally able to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't mean for you to get so personal."

"Yes, you did. That's what you wanted to know right?"

Haley nodded, feeling horribly guilty. There was no use in denying it.

"It's okay. I told you that you could ask me anything and I meant it."

"So, why then? Why didn't you? Why haven't you?"

"A couple of times I almost did, but each time something held me back. I'm not sure if it was what happened to Rachel, but there's something to be said for respecting a female. Another part of me kind of thinks I just can't be intimate with someone in that way. Not yet anyway."

Nathan surprised himself with his words. He wasn't sure where it was coming from. Things were just pouring out of him tonight and they were things he didn't even know he felt. He wasn't embarrassed by it though as he felt such a profound sense of comfort and safety with Haley. He knew she wasn't going to repeat any of this and he liked her interest in him, especially when it came to his sex life. He was still holding back though and he knew she sensed it.

"Full disclosure?" he asked cautiously eyeing her.

Haley began to bit her lip knowing he was able to tell her something that was going to upset her.

"I almost slept with Taylor once."

"What?" Haley sprung up startling him.

"Don't be mad, Haley! It was a long time ago. It's what made me stop getting so wasted all the time."

"When did this happen? And how close did you come?" Haley was practically screaming at him.

"Last year, when the guys threw me a party to celebrate being a starting player. I was pretty wasted…..and I don't want to get into details, but it was close. And I'm not sure it matters, but I was the one to stop it."

Nathan began following her as she walked away.

"Haley! Talk to me." Nathan continued as he caught up to her. "I get it. I told you I was messed up and I get it if this is too much for you."

Haley couldn't pretend she wasn't hurt but she also knew the he wasn't trying to hurt her and that she was the one who was pressing him for this information.

"Is there more?" Haley stood directly in front of him, making him stop.

"No, that's it, Haley. Maybe I should have told you sooner, but I didn't. But you have to believe me when I tell you I stopped because of you."

Nathan looked directly at her and she knew he was telling the truth. "And you can still ask me anything and I'll tell you. But that's the worst of it."

Haley thought for a moment and Nathan began to get nervous.

"Okay, then, but I'm not happy about it, Nathan. And I meant what I said about not wanting you to be like Rachel."

"I won't. I promise," Nathan said without hesitation.

They continued to walk in silence for a while before Nathan decided to break the ice.

"So, do I get to ask you anything now?" Nathan asked smiling.

"Sure, but I have nothing to tell you. I've never even been kissed before."

"Really? Not even Lucas?"

"I am so sick of everyone thinking something is going on with Lucas and me! We are just friends! A girl and guy can be just friends you know." Haley pointed at her and him. "Exhibit A!" Haley watched him carefully. She was kind of interested to see his reaction to that, but he just continued walking.

"Well, it's going to happen sooner or later, Haley."

"What? Lucas and me? There is no way—"

Nathan cut her off. "No, maybe not Lucas, but someone else."

"I doubt that. Having you and Lucas for friends is like guy repellent. No one will even look at me."

"Oh, they do, Haley. Trust me they do." Haley shook her head in disbelief.

Nathan stopped and stood directly in front of her. Haley suddenly became aware of Nathan's height. She felt so small and meek as he towered over her.

"What?" she asked annoyed. Haley did not like how she was the focus of his attention like this.

"First concert, first dance. Maybe I should be the one to give you your first kiss." Nathan had that mischievous look in his eye and Haley couldn't tell if he was serious.

"Stop teasing me, Nathan! This is embarrassing!"

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just me, Hales." He leaned over and brushed her cheek with his free hand. Haley just stood there and stared at him.

"If you don't want it to be me- that's fine. I just thought it would be nice." Haley just continued to stare at him. She was trying to figure out if he was being serious or not. Reading her thoughts, Nathan added, "you can trust me."

Before she could think about it any longer Haley said, "okay."

Nathan cupped her cheek and ordered, "close your eyes."

Haley unconsciously licked her lips as she closed her eyes. Her heart was racing and she couldn't seem to think clearly. She waited until she finally felt his lips. _On her forehead_.

She waited a couple of seconds before opening her eyes. Nathan was looking at her with a bright smile on his face.

As if a lightning bolt hit her, Haley's emotions shifted to rage and anger. "YOU ARE A JACKASS, NATHAN SCOTT!" She turned on her heels and began walking away as fast as she could.

"HALEY! HALEY! Wait up! I can't run after you like this. I'm sorry. Would you just slow down?"

Haley kept walking but slowed down a bit. Nathan finally caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

"What? What could you possibly have to say? You pour your heart out to me, then tell me you almost slept with my sister, get me to admit I wanted you to kiss me and all for what? To stroke your ego? Make me look like a fool! Because that's how I feel Nathan! Like a damn fool!"

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I'm sorry." Nathan lifted her head forced her to look at him. He held it towards him as he moved a little closer to her. "I wanted to kiss you too. I just….I'm not sure you're ready for this."

"What do you mean I'm not ready? Don't I get to decide when I am ready?" Nathan did not seem to be making any sense to her as she struggled to try and read between the lines. "Don't patronize me, Nathan. I'm not a kid and I don't need some pity kiss from you."

"That's the problem. It wouldn't be like that you know it. If we kiss, then it's going to change things. Don't think for one second it won't. For both of us."

"Things are already changing, Nathan. Don't you feel that?"

"Yeah, I do," Nathan admitted. "But I don't have any experience with this. This is different."

"Different good? Different weird ?" Haley asked confused.

"No, good. But this is big and I just want you to think about that before you decide." Nathan said reassuringly.

"Well, I did decide. And you rejected me. That's what happened, Nate, no matter how you try to spin it."

"I didn't reject you. If this is what you want, I would be lucky to give you your first kiss." Nathan hesitated for a moment. "I'm just not sure _I'm ready_…." Nathan looked intently at her trying to let her know how serious he was. "I'm all over the place right now as it is."

If Haley felt bad before, she was feeling even worse now. Nathan was going through too much right now and here she was pressuring him! The last thing she wanted to do make things more difficult for him. Haley decided she had to stop being selfish and focus on supporting Nathan.

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I didn't mean to push you."

"You weren't. It's just….I don't know how to do this alright? I'm not like you." Nathan began to get agitated, not with Haley, but himself and all his issues.

"What does that mean?"

"I screw up a lot, alright? And being around you, I don't want to be that guy anymore."

"Who do you want to be Nathan?" Haley asked him seriously.

"I want to be someone who's good enough to be seen with you."

Haley's heart instantly swelled as she leaned in and hugged him. She knew there would be no kiss tonight but Nathan had already given her what she wanted; validation.

"I'm not going anywhere, Nathan."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"Good."

Nathan pulled slightly back and looked at her. "I will give you that kiss, Haley," he said earnestly.

"And then what?" Haley said teasingly.

"Then, I stop letting you ask me questions." They both laughed. "Seriously, though? You're going to want to kiss me some more," Nathan said smiling.

"Oh, really?" Haley had to admit that she was enjoying his cockiness this time.

"You'll see," he warned her.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Over my Head (Cable Car)" (The Fray)


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 7: "Over my Head (Cable Car)" (The Fray)

"Rachel! Are coming to school today or what? If you are, you better get your ass in gear because I'm leaving now!"

Nathan listened for a response from the bottom of the stairs. After a minute, he heard a door open and close. As frustrated as he was, Nathan felt a slight sense of relief that Rachel was stirring. She hadn't been to school for a week and he was starting to get worried about her. All the attention from his parents had been on him lately and he wasn't even sure they noticed.

This attention towards Nathan was not the kind of care and concern for an injured child. Instead, this attention was all fighting which manifested itself through daily screaming sessions between his parents. Nathan knew his mom was concerned about him, especially after he disappeared from the hospital, but instead of being supportive to him, she turned her attention to Dan and his treatment of Nathan. His dad was outright nasty to him and continued to watch his every move. Now, his mother was watching both of them and interjecting with her criticism of Dan. If it wasn't for the James family, he probably would have tried to move out on his own. Instead, he tried to follow Haley's advice and spend as much time as possible there. Between, school, physical therapy and the time spent there, he was only really home to sleep. Despite that, it seemed as if the screaming matches were always waiting for him.

" Let's go! I can't be late to school! I want to go to practice today!"

"Why bother? Not like you can do anything anyway," Rachel said as she flew down the stairs and almost knocked Nathan down as she continued out the front door. Nathan stared after her for a minute, surprised. She was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved cotton shirt.

"I'm fine, Rachel. Thanks for asking. Got my sling off. Physical therapist says I can start testing out my arm at practice," Nathan said, his sarcasm heavy as they got into his car.

"Well, I'm fine too, _big brother_," Rachel scowled. Nathan decided not to push her any further as they drove in silence.

"So you're driving Haley to school now?" Rachel asked incredulously as they pulled into the James driveway where Haley was waiting.

"You would know that if you had been going to school. Besides, I had some extra time on my hands since I didn't have to wait around for your sorry ass."

Haley sighed as she got into the car. At first she was happy to see Rachel in the car, but as she realized the Scott siblings were arguing, she became anxious. Haley hadn't talked to Rachel since before Thanksgiving a couple of weeks ago. She hadn't been in school much and had flat out ignored any of Haley's attempts to talk.

"You feeling better Rachel?" Haley said, bracing herself for the response.

"Stop pretending you care. It's obvious you are spending your time with more important people."

"Rachel—" Haley began as she was interrupted by Nathan.

"Leave her alone, Rachel! God! You are so self-involved! When's the last time you checked in with Haley?"

"Stop it both of you!" Haley said frustrated. "Nathan, I can take care of myself. Rachel, I'm sorry, okay? Look, why don't you come over for dinner tonight? My mom's making chicken pie and I know she'd love to see you." Haley knew she was playing dirty by mentioning her mom, but she was desperate.

Haley began to get her hopes up as Rachel considered this.

"She's making chicken pie tonight? I thought we were having the leftover lasagna?" Nathan asked confused.

Haley glared at Nathan which resulted in more confusion.

"Don't be upset about missing the daily menu changes, Nathan. At least you got the invites." Rachel slammed the car door as she stormed off.

"Nathan!" Haley said as they got out of the car and began to walk towards the school.

"Sorry. I wasn't thinking," he said sincerely.

"What is going on with her?"

"You're asking me? You know I can't answer that."

"Did you see what she's wearing?"

"I've been giving her a hard time about barely wearing any clothes. Maybe she's finally listening?" Haley raised her eyebrows unconvincingly at Nathan. "I don't know."

"It's more than that. It looked like she just rolled out of bed, she didn't have on any make-up, and did you see her hair? When was the last time she took a shower?"

"I haven't been home Haley. You know that."

"I know, but I'm worried."

"Should we double-team her?"

"That'll just piss her off more. Maybe you should talk to your parents?"

"That's not a good idea. That will just add fuel to their fire. They're fighting over everything these days and I'm already stuck in the middle. I don't want to do that to Rachel."

"I'll think about it some more then. I'll wait for you at the Tutor Center?"

"Yeah. I'm probably not going to do much at practice but I'll swing by after. By the way, I can't give you a ride home tomorrow since I scheduled my physical therapy right after practice."

"I know. I actually have plans with Lucas." Nathan rolled his eyes. She knew he wouldn't be happy with that but she at least he wasn't making some snide comment. "I hope you're not pushing it Nathan," she added thinking of his shoulder.

"I'm not. I've played though pain before but I'm feeling okay anyway. I just can't wait to get back."

"Just be careful. I'll see you later." Nathan smiled at her before heading off to his locker.

* * *

The next day, Haley was surprised to find Lucas waiting at her locker in between classes.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Are we still on for today? Before practice?" Lucas had made the JV basketball team but since they practiced after varsity, they were going to go to Karen's Café, which was owned by his mom, to catch up.

"Yeah, but…" Lucas lowered his voice to a whisper. "…it's Rachel. Have you seen her lately?"

"Well, yeah. We rode in together yesterday and today but she was out for a while before that. I know she's a mess. Nathan and I are trying to figure something out. What did she do now?"

"We were in lab today and I saw her arms when she rolled up her sleeves. It was only for a sec like she forgot or something…"

"What?" Haley said impatiently. This was obviously serious enough that it couldn't wait until after school and she just wished he would spit it out.

"There were cuts. _Everywhere_. Some of them were scabbed over, some of them weren't. When she saw me looking at them, she pushed her sleeves down and switched seats."

"What do think it was?"

Just then, Nathan stepped in front of Lucas. They had been so engrossed in their conversation, and hadn't seen him coming.

"So, I was thinking, Hales. Maybe you want to come with me to physical therapy? Like you did before? Then, I can give you a ride home and you know…we could have dinner at your house. Like usual." Nathan was smiling brightly as Haley glared at him. He was obviously doing this all for Lucas' benefit.

"I'm hanging out with Lucas today. And I'm not having dinner at home. You know that though Nathan," Haley said pointedly.

"Fine. I'm still having dinner with your parents though. Guess I'll see you when you get home," Nathan said with a smirk.

The bell rang and Haley and Lucas began to head to class. "We'll talk later. Okay?" Haley said turning to Lucas.

"Why didn't you tell Nathan?"

"He's got a lot on his plate right now. Thanks for letting me know though. I'll talk to you later."

* * *

"So, did you see it?" Lucas asked Haley. They were walking away from the high school toward the downtown area to the café.

"No. I tried but she had her sleeves down. Plus, she still isn't speaking to me so it's not like I could try to ask her about it."

"Well, it looks like cuts. You think she's cutting?"

Haley knew the term. It was something that they had an assembly on in middle school. She had never seen anyone do it though and she had difficulty imaging someone intentionally hurting themselves. The more she thought about it though, she realized that this made sense with everything she knew about Rachel. Haley started to feel guilty as she wondered how long this had been going on. Was this new? Did it go on in middle school?

"I wouldn't be surprised, but I never noticed it before. I guess I wasn't looking though."

"You need to tell Nathan."

"I don't know if that's a good idea right now."

"Haley, you know Nate and I don't get along but he is fiercely overprotective when it comes to you two. He'll know how to handle it."

Haley signed. She didn't feel like explaining to Lucas that Nathan's overprotectiveness was solely aimed at her these days. In fact, most of the time, Nathan looked to Haley for how to deal with Rachel.

"It's just…he's just getting back to basketball and….I'm not sure how comfortable I am telling you this but-things are not good with his parents."

"Haley, I know things are weird between our families, but you get I care right? I mean, she is my cousin. I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't looking to try and help."

"I know, but Nathan would be upset with me if I told you all his family drama."

"Okay, but we need to do something Haley."

"I know. I just don't know what."

"You're probably not going to like this, but why don't we talk to my mom?"

Right away, Haley began to feel at ease. Karen was one of the nicest people she ever met. She was also a great listener and very rational.

"Okay, but she can't tell your dad."

"Uh...they're not the like Deb and Dan. They are pretty tight. I can't promise anything."

"Nathan is going to kill me!"

"Not if you are saving his sister, Hales. I mean even his thick head will get that."

Haley and Lucas walked in the doors of the café and headed towards the counter.

"Hey!" Lucas said greeting his mom.

"Haley!" Karen said beaming at Haley and Lucas. "I was so happy when Lucas said you'd be stopping by."

"Mom, we actually need to talk to about something. Think you'll get a chance?" Lucas looked around the place grateful to see it wasn't too busy.

"Sure. Let me just finish up with these customers first."

Haley and Lucas took a seat at the counter.

"So how does it feel to be the only freshmen on JV?"

"Well, I don't get to the River Court as much, and I miss that, but I'm learning a lot. It's real competitive and the coach is talking about having me practice with varsity soon."

"Really?" Haley had mixed emotions. She was genuinely happy for Lucas, but she knew this would bother Nathan. Once again, Haley felt trapped in the middle with the Scotts. "That's good," she added shaking it off.

"Think Nathan will flip?"

"He'll deal. He's just so focused on getting back in shape. Besides, I bet the team will have a great shot at playoffs if both of you are playing."

"So what's up with you two?" Karen asked as she joined them.

Lucas and Haley looked at each other trying to figure out who should speak first. Haley nodded at Lucas.

"It's about Rachel. I have science with her and we were doing this chem lab and I noticed all these cuts going up and down her arm. She was wearing long sleeves though so she pushed them back down and I only saw them real quick. We think she may be cutting."

"Cutting?" Karen asked clearly concerned.

"Some kids do it to themselves. With razors or something. I guess they like to hurt themselves?" Lucas said looking at Haley for help.

"It's mostly girls and they enjoy the pain because of other stuff they have going on. They would rather feel that than the other things."

"Has Rachel ever done this before?"

"I'm not sure. We kind of stopped hanging out as much in middle school and she started up with a bad group and now she's hanging out with all these upperclassmen and even some college kids." Haley decided to stop there. She wanted to help Rachel but she was not going to tell them about what happened to Rachel as a kid. That would be a definite betrayal to the Scotts and Haley knew that was a line she wasn't willing to cross.

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"No. She's not exactly speaking to me at the moment."

"And you?" Karen said looking at Lucas.

"We've never really talked. Sometimes when Haley's around, but that's it."

Karen sat silent for a minute processing this information. "If you want to help Rachel, you need to tell her parents. Did you want me to do that for you? Is that why you came to me?"

"No!" Haley responded quickly. "I just wasn't sure what to do. But you can't talk to Dan or Deb! They would hate me if it came from you!" Haley blurted out and looked down knowing how bad that sounded.

"Look Haley, I know that things are….complicated with Dan and Deb and Keith and I, but Rachel is our niece and we do care about her. And Nathan." Karen added looking at Lucas. "Whatever issues we have can be put aside for the well-being of our children."

"You really think they need to know?"

"Yes, I do," Karen said emphatically. "And let be clear about this. _If you don't tell them, I will_. As a mother, I owe that to Deb."

Haley's eyes widened as she looked from Karen to Lucas. There was no going back now, but deep down, she knew that once they decided to talk to Karen.

"Let me do it then. But first, I want to see Rachel and see it for myself. Then, I'll talk to Nathan and we'll do it together."

"What does Nathan think about this?" Karen asked.

"He doesn't know yet."

In fact, Haley was more nervous about telling Nathan about this than anything else.

* * *

Haley decided to go directly to the Scott's house from the café. She had Keith drop her off after he drove Lucas to practice. No cars were in the driveway but the front door was unlocked so she assumed Rachel was home. Haley was comfortable entering the Scott's house over the years, so she went right in and called out for Rachel. She could faintly hear some music from the second floor so she headed up the stairs to Rachel's room.

Haley knocked on the door but got no response. She knocked one more time and then opened the door slowly.

"Rachel?"

"What the fuck, Haley?" Rachel was sitting on her bed smoking a joint. She was wearing a tank top under a hoodie sweatshirt that was unzipped. Before she could think about it, Haley marched over to her and as Rachel put the joint down, Haley grabbed one of the arms of the sweatshirt pulling it halfway off. Dried blood was caked in lines across her arm in neat rows, clearly showing the work of a razor.

"Rachel!"

"GET OUT!" Rachel screamed

Haley ignored her, reaching around to take off the second half of the sweatshirt. The lines on her other arm were faded by still clearly visible.

Rachel tackled Haley to the ground and started pulling her hair. She was screaming, but Haley couldn't make out all the works. "FUCKING BITCH!" was definitely used multiple times. Haley used her knees to push Rachel off of her, but Rachel tackled her again and began to claw at her face.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Nathan grabbed his sister and threw her onto her bed.

He then leaned down to see Haley. Haley began to compose herself as Nathan smoothed down her hair and brushed over her face with his hand.

"Nice to see where you loyalties are as usual, big brother," Rachel spewed.

Nathan stood up, pulling Haley with him. He purposely stepped back so he was in the middle of the two girls. "What happened?" Nathan asked calmly looking at both girls.

"She's cutting Nathan. Look at her arms." Haley pointed at Rachel. Rachel quickly put her arms behind her back. Nathan sat on the bed and looked at her. Silence filled the air for a couple of minutes as no one moved. Finally, Nathan gently reached his arm out and Rachel put out her arm for him to see. Nathan turned it over and gasped.

"Why Rachel?"

Rachel began to sob hysterically. Nathan took her in his arms and hugged her tightly. After a minute, Rachel stopped crying.

"Nathan, I think she's shutting down." Nathan pulled back and saw Rachel's eyes wide open but glazed over.

"Rachel?" he asked softly, but there was no response. Nathan gently laid her down and sat there stroking her hair. He then checked over both her arms.

"When did this happen?" Nathan asked turning to Haley.

"I don't know. We just found out today."

"We?"

Haley took in a deep breath and braced herself. "Lucas and me."

"Lucas knows?" Nathan asked standing up to face Haley. She could see his body stiffen as his face started to turn red.

"Nathan-let me explain. Please hear me out."

"I would love to hear this, Haley. Really. Go ahead."

Haley took another deep breath. "Lucas is the one who saw them first. He saw them in class and told me and then—"

"When Haley? When did he tell you?"

"In school," Haley said looking down.

"Why didn't you come find me? Why didn't you tell me? You knew I was going to practice."

"I just didn't want to bother you—"

"Bother me? This is my sister, Hales! We've already been talking about what to do with her! Since when do you leave me out of this?" Haley took a step back knowing what she would have to say next. She just had to get it over with, even if it meant he would explode.

"I told Karen."

"YOU WHAT?"

Haley left Rachel's bedroom and went down the stairs. She honestly felt a little scared at Nathan's reaction and wasn't sure she could face him anymore.

Nathan followed her down the steps screaming at her.

"HOW COULD YOU BRING THEM INTO THIS? HOW COULD YOU? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

Nathan paced around the living room, not even looking at Haley, who was sitting on the couch. She could see his mind racing and wished she could calm him as she had done so many times before, but this time, _she was the source of his anger_ and she was afraid to go near him.

Nathan finally stopped and sat down on the recliner. He put his head in his hands and sat still.

"I'm sorry," Haley said softly. Nathan didn't look up and but shook his head and groaned. "I didn't know what to do. And I wasn't sure anyway. I needed to see the marks for myself. That's why I came over here."

"We should have done this together, Haley. You should have come to me. Just like always," Nathan said looking directly at her. His eyes were a deep shade of blue and seemed to cut right through Haley's heart. She knew that she had hurt him. "I just don't get why you had to tell Karen."

"I know how you feel about them Nathan, but Karen's really nice and we have a good relationship. She would never throw this in your family's face. She actually really worried."

"What did she say?"

"That we have to tell your parents. Your mom in particular," Haley hesitated.

Knowing there was more, Nathan prodded, "And?"

"And if we don't, she's going to tell your mom anyway."

"Fuck, Haley."

"I know." Haley signed. "But she's right, Nate. You know that. Rachel needs help and we just can't cover up for her anymore."

"Do you know what this will do to my family?"

"Your family is already screwed up, Nathan. Maybe this will actually help things."

"I doubt that." Nathan stood up and walked over to the phone.

"Who are you calling?"

"My mom. I have to tell her before Karen does. Fuck. I just hope my Dad doesn't find out they know."

Haley walked over to Nathan and gently put her hand on his shoulder. Haley felt stung as he pushed it away.

"Mom? I need you to come home right away. There's an emergency with Rachel…..No, but come right away." Nathan hung up the phone. "You can go now. She was on her way home anyway."

"I'm not going," Haley said defiantly. "I'm doing this with you whether you like it or not."

Nathan looked at her and shrugged. As hurt as he was, the truth was he needed her now more than ever. He also knew that she was right to insist on telling his mom. Still, he couldn't help but feel betrayed.

More than that, he felt weak. Haley obviously thought he couldn't handle this which was a blow to his manhood. All these years, they had been a team, but now Haley was drafting a new team and he was no longer a starting player.

Nathan began to regret leaning on her so much in the past couple of weeks. In the future, he was going to have to be more guarded and tough so she would come to him with her problems instead of other people.

Nathan's resolved strengthened as he went over and sat down on the couch. Haley sat down next to him and reached for his hand. He felt his resolve weaken for a moment as he yearned to put his arms around her. Oddly enough, having Haley in his arms was more for his own benefit than hers. It always calmed him down and made him feel strong. Nathan regrouped though and simply squeezed her hand back without looking at her.

"What is it?" Deb asked breathlessly as she flew though the front door.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: Gonna Make You Mine (Olin & the Moon)


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Special thanks to Pamela for helping with the editing and writing!

Chapter 8: Gonna Make You Mine (Olin & the Moon)

An hour into her flight, Haley looked over to Nathan with pleading eyes. She was wedged in between Dan and Nathan, but Dan had been inching closer to her ever since he fell asleep. Nathan crossed his arms and flashed his trademark smirk and mouthed, "Your idea!" Haley glared back at him remembering how she got herself into this situation.

"_Final call for Salt Lake City. All passengers are required to board at this time."_

_Haley grabbed Nathan as he exited the men's room._

"_We have to go now!"_

"_Calm down, Hales. We're fine."_

_Haley signed in relief as they joined a long line at the gate. They were heading to Park City, Utah for New Year's weekend. The last couple of weeks had been tough to say the least and everyone was in need of some away time. This was not as easy as it sounded when it came to the Scotts. Rachel was just released from an in-patient hospital for teens after staying a couple of weeks. Much to Haley and Nathan's surprise, Deb and Dan had actually declared a cease-fire to their incessant fighting and were trying to work things out. Deb had insisted they go away for the holidays to try and regroup as a family. Part of Haley wondered why they had bought her a ticket as a Christmas present, but she figured it was because everyone was usually on their best behavior with her around. However, at this point, Haley wasn't even sure Rachel would want to see her. Haley had visited her at the hospital and Rachel had been polite to her, but things were still tense._

_Nathan, on the other hand, had been nothing but cold and distant to her. She knew he was still hurt and it also didn't help that he still wasn't cleared to play basketball yet. Deb and Rachel had flown out to Park City the day after Christmas, but Nathan and Dan stayed behind so Nathan could continue to go to practice and physical therapy. Knowing how much Nathan hated being with his father, she had hoped he would spend some time at the James' house. He hadn't stopped by once however and this was the first time she had spent time with him in a while._

_As soon as they had their tickets ripped, Haley stopped and grabbed Nathan's arm. He looked at her confused._

"_Give me your ticket," Haley said holding out her hand._

"_Haley, I don't need you to—" Haley grabbed the ticket out of his hand and shoved hers at him._

"_Haley!" Nathan called after her._

_Haley stopped and turned to face him. After a couple of weeks of being given the cold shoulder she had reached her limit with him._

"_Who says this for you Nathan? Ever think about that? Ever think about what's like for me? Maybe this is for me." Haley stopped and took a breath, taking in the look of shock on his face. Her words, which had double meaning, were not lost on him. "I really don't want to have to listen to your father drill you about basketball and see you pout for four hours!"_

_Haley spun on her heels as she forged ahead. Dan seemed surprised as Nathan took the window seat and Haley the middle one. Haley smiled sweetly at Dan and explained "I'm so much smaller than the two of you, I figured it was best that I take the middle seat." Dan gave her a look letting her know he was on to her, but accepted the change nonetheless. Haley wasn't a big fan of Dan, but he had always been nice to her, and used the same tender tone of voice with her that he did with Rachel. It was nothing like the way he spoke to Nathan. With her seated in the middle, she knew he would leave Nathan alone, which was a good thing for everyone even if Haley was pissed enough to let Dan have at him._

* * *

Haley leaned back and closed her eyes trying to block out both Dan and Nathan. After a minute, she felt a light push on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw Nathan push up the arm rest. He pushed himself to the side leaving a spot for her to lean up against him. Haley hesitated for a moment, and gave him a look to let him know she still wasn't happy with him. She then relented and squeezed up against him resting her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her. She closed her eyes, feeling a sense of peace for the first time in a couple of weeks. As he stroked her arm lightly, she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Haley!" Haley almost fell over as Rachel threw herself on her in a ferocious hug. She was obviously surprised that Haley was there. Haley's nerves quickly faded as she realized that Rachel looked really good and was genuinely happy to see her. Maybe, just maybe, some time away from everything was just what everyone needed. She knew it was going to be tough dealing with both Rachel and Nathan at the same time, but she had already decided that Rachel's needs came first and since things weren't great with Nathan right now, it would just be easier to spend time with her.

Haley smiled up at Rachel as she grabbed her bags. "Wow! This place is amazing, Rach. How many rooms does it have?"

"Oh, wait till you see the hot tub on the porch! Come on, I'll show you around." The two girls headed off excitedly arm in arm.

Nathan stood there with mixed emotions as he watched them. Part of him was trying not to feel jealous. He knew that was wrong on so many levels. Rachel really needed Haley right now and he had obviously done a good job at pushing her away lately. This was all his own doing. If he been a better brother and a stronger person, maybe he wouldn't be left standing there alone right now. Still, he knew that he was selfish and having Haley snuggled up against him on the plane was the best he had felt in weeks. He longed to have her close to him like that. In fact, he wasn't sure he was to going to be able to keep her at bay over the next couple of days. If he had any chance of doing succeeding, he was definitely going to have to stay away from the hot tub.

* * *

"What the fuck, Dad? What the hell I am I doing here if I can't go skiing?"

"Don't talk to me like that Nathan! You're still not cleared yet and you want to risk blowing the whole season just so you can go skiing?"

"So I'm just supposed to sit around here by myself and do what? Watch tv? I could have done that at home!"

"Haley's here. Why don't you go and do some homework with her? I know your grades could use it," Dan answered snidely.

"Haley's not going?"

"No, I guess not. It's just me and Rachel. You could go also go shopping with your mother." Dan said smirking while Nathan glared at him.

"I'd rather do homework." Nathan stood there pouting as they left. After a minute, he decided that he might as well find Haley.

Nathan walked down the hallway towards the room Haley was staying in. He stood there for a moment watching her. Haley was on the bed, lying on her stomach facing away from him. She had on headphones and was reading a book. Her head was nodding along to the music and Nathan could hear her faintly singing under her breath as she kicked her legs around. She obviously had no idea he was there.

Nathan knocked on the door, startling her. Haley turned on his side and pushed off her headphones.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. My parents and Rachel just left and apparently I'm not allowed to go. What's your excuse?" Nathan said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Haley shifted slightly and straightened up, not completely comfortable with his close proximity to her. She was feeling more confused than ever. It _seemed_ like he wanted to talk to her, but she was so sick of his mood swings. One minute they felt so close, and the next she could feel him pushing her away.

"I wanted to finish this." Haley held up a copy of _Romeo and Juliet_. "It's due when we get back."

Nathan laughed. "I was just assigned that this year. What are you? In genius classes or something?"

"Honors. I'm actually really into this. Can you believe how they supposedly have this epic romance but they only fell so in love after like meeting like once? Can you really feel that way so fast?"

Nathan couldn't help but think about him and Haley. He had never thought about being in love before, but from what he remembered in the play, he could relate to the feelings Shakespeare described. Nathan was also convinced that considering his and Haley's history, that his feelings must be a hell of a lot deeper than the ones in the play. He was sick of fighting those feelings, of being left alone, and decided it was time to take a risk.

"I know those feelings Haley." Haley looked up at him, her brown eyes wide open. As Nathan began leaning in closer to her, Haley kept her eyes open. She knew he was going to kiss her. His blue eyes bore into her as he put both his hands on the sides of her head and pulled her towards him. Haley couldn't take the look in his eyes and finally closed her eyes and waited.

Then, just like last time, she felt his lips on her forehead. She kept her eyes closed, not feeling anger like last time, but now feeling a wave of sadness. Afraid for the flood of tears, she kept her eyes tightly shut and sat there until she sensed him get up and leave. She quietly got up to shut the door to the room and laid back down on the bed, and began to cry.

* * *

Deb and Haley could hear Rachel talking a mile a minute as she came in the front door. They smiled at each other, both happy to see her in good spirits, and it was even better that it was coming from time spent with Nathan. They were just return from snowmobiling. Not being able to ski, Nathan had rented one and spent most of the morning and afternoon going out on his own. When Rachel returned from skiing, he offered to take her on a ride.

"That was so cool. We went so fast and it is so nice out there. I am gross though and heading up to take a shower." Rachel began to peel off her winter wear and looked up at Haley. "Your turn, Hales. Nathan is waiting for you." Haley looked at her but remained still.

"I'm not going," Haley finally said. Both Deb and Rachel were looking at her surprised.

Nathan came in front door and shook the snow off his boots. He was holding his helmet in his hands and his hair was sticking up all over the place. If she wasn't so upset, she probably would have laughed at him.

"Nathan, tell her you'll go slow," Deb said prodding Nathan.

"I'll go slow," Nathan said earnestly. "You can set the speed, Hales. I promise." Haley continued to sit there not moving. She was not entirely sure she was hearing him correctly. All three of them were looking at her and she began to get uncomfortable.

"Haley, you have to go! You're going to love it! Nathan knows some really good trails and it is so pretty out there."

"We should go before it gets dark," Nathan said looking out the window.

Haley knew she was fighting a losing battle. The longer she sat there, the stranger it looked. She understood why Rachel and Deb were pressuring her, but it was Nathan's behavior that continued to confuse her. She didn't understand why he was pretending to want to take her out. He should have let her not go for both of their sakes.

"Fine. Let me just get ready." Haley refused to look at Nathan as she passed him heading to her room.

Haley returned a few minutes later, bundled up from head to toe. Nathan laughed at her as he held the door open. Nathan got on the snowmobile and started the engine. He then turned, handed her a helmet and motioned for her to get on. Haley got on and tentatively put her hands around his waist.

"Just give me a squeeze if I'm going too fast," Nathan shouted over the engine.

Haley began to relax after a couple of minutes. She hadn't expected to enjoy this, but Rachel was right; the trails Nathan was taking her on were beautiful. She was also impressed with how slow he was going as she suspected it must be privately killing him. Nathan seemed to be on mission though, taking various turn without hesitation. After about fifteen minutes, they pulled up to a clearing and Nathan killed the engine. The view was astounding. From that spot, they could see both the area below and the snow covered mountains above. Snow was lightly falling and the sun was beginning to set in the distance behind the mountains.

Nathan pulled of his helmet and gloves, rested them down, and smoothed out his hair. He then turned around and began taking off Haley's helmet. Haley just sat there, watching him. Her stomach was turning but her dominant emotion was still confusion. Nathan rested her helmet with his and turned to face the sunset. Haley turned as well as they both sat in silence for a few minutes.

"What is this Nathan?" Haley asked quietly.

"I thought it might be nice to watch the sunset from here. I found this spot earlier." Haley looked at Nathan, studying his face. She was trying to figure out what was going on but she was having difficulty. He looked back at her intently and smiled. "I also thought this might be a good place for our first kiss."

Haley pulled down the top of her knit hat so it covered her forehead and glowered at him. "I'm not falling for that again Nathan. At this point, there's nothing you can do to surprise me."

Before she could finish, Nathan pushed back her hat and put his hands on the sides of her head. He quickly pulled her towards him as he leaned in. His lips crashed on to hers with a sense of urgency as they moved over hers. Nathan pulled back and looked at Haley, trying to gage her reaction.

"Except that." Haley sat there stunned. Haley wasn't prepared for how she felt. She knew there was an attraction between them, but the kiss stirred some new feelings that she had yet to identify. Haley decided to go with her heart over her head for the moment as she leaned in to kiss him again.

This kiss was different from the last. Nathan let Haley set the tone as they kissed each other slowly and softly. Haley then began to lean into Nathan a little more forcefully. Nathan turned slightly as he ran his hands through her hair. Their kisses intensified and both ended up pulling away at the same time gasping for air.

Nathan stroked her cheek and smiled at her. Haley followed suit as he turned his attention to see the final shots of the sun. Nathan put his arm around her and leaned in so her head was on his shoulder.

Ten minutes later, Nathan reached over and turned on headlights to the snowmobile, as it was getting dark.

"We should probably head back." Nathan turned on the engine and grabbed the helmets. Before he placed Haley's helmet on her head, he leaned in and gave her a quick, but deep kiss that sent chills down Haley's spine.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Dan asked Nathan as he came into the house. His entire body seemed to be covered with snow, which Haley knew was not a good sign.

"Snowboarding." Nathan began to take off his boots but wouldn't look at his father.

"Son of a bitch!"

"What! You said no skiing, Dad. I followed your stupid orders."

"Don't you give me that, Nathan. Know what? I hope you get hurt again. I hope you injure yourself before you even get back on the court. Would serve you right!" Dan grabbed his coat and slammed the front door behind him.

"Why do you do that, Nathan?" Haley asked concerned.

"Because I can," Nathan said shrugging. "Where are Rachel and my Mom?"

"Shopping for tonight."

It was New Year's Eve and at Deb's insistence, they were going to forgo celebrating out and just stay in. Rachel and Deb had left to go get some food and movies. Haley had stayed behind, secretly hoping to catch Nathan alone. He had avoided her since the snowmobile ride the previous night and was gone when she got up in the morning. It was driving Dan crazy that he didn't know where his son was and that gave Haley another reason to be around for when the two inevitably met up.

"Oh." Haley waited for him to continue but he moved past her and went in to the kitchen looking for food.

Haley headed to her room, feeling frustrated. Part of her wondered if she imagined kissing him. Another part wondered if it was just Nathan giving her the oft spoken about first kiss and nothing more. Mostly, Haley felt that this kiss was supposed to be the start of something, but she wasn't sure what. He obviously didn't want to talk about it so she decided to leave it alone. Having nothing to do and in desperate need of some relaxation, Haley decided to put on her bikini and soak in the hot tub.

Once she was changed, she grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wrapped it around her. Haley walked through the kitchen to the back doors that lead to the patio where the hot tub was. Nathan was sitting at the table eating a sandwich, but Haley purposely ignored him. She could feel his eyes follow her so she intentionally stood with her back to him as she got into the hot tub.

Haley was surprised when, a couple of minutes later, Nathan came out the back door in his swim suit. She was both happy and annoyed.

"What are you doing?" Haley said, deciding she was more annoyed.

"I got kind of banged up snowboarding today. Thought this might do my back some good," Nathan said as he climbed in. Haley had to force herself not to look at his shirtless body. His abs were well-defined, but it was his arms that appealed to her the most. She knew what it was like to be in those arms, and seeing his muscles and broad shoulders in the flesh created a sudden urge to be closer to him.

Nathan was also trying to suppress his desire to be close to Haley. His sandwich was left half eaten in the kitchen as the decided to follow his more primal urges. Before he knew it, he was in the hot tub with Haley, trying not to stare at her. He decided it was best to focus on her face and not her body.

Haley began to bit her lip as the silence became uncomfortable. This was so far from relaxing! Nathan moved to sit next to Haley and reached out to place a wayward strand of hair d behind her ear.

"Spill it, Hales."

"What?"

"Whatever you're thinking about."

"Can I still ask you anything?"

"You can ask, but I'm not sure I can answer." Nathan knew she was wondering about the kiss, about what was going on between them, but the truth was he didn't have it all figured out either. He was just acting out on his feelings instead of keeping them all in. He had to admit it felt good, too.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to. I wanted to for a while. I just didn't want it to be on your doorstep, in the middle of the street or at some random place. I wanted it to be something you would, you know, remember."

Haley could feel her heart begin to beat faster as her breathing picked up. His face was close to hers' and she was certain if she just leaned in a little, they would be kissing again.

"So?" Nathan asked biting his own lip and looking right at her, but also staying very still.

"So what?"

"What did you think? Of your first kiss? Our first kiss."

Haley looked down, embarrassed. She could feel her cheeks burning causing Nathan to laugh.

"Haley! It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Nathan leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Tell me you liked it." Nathan's husky voice sent waves through her body. Haley looked up at him and smiled slightly. That was really all she could give him in this moment. "You want to do it again?" Haley nodded. "I told you that you would."

Nathan smirked as he leaned over and touched his lips to hers. Her lips were softer than last time and he could taste her lip balm. Nathan pulled back and licked his lips. He was taken aback as Haley lunged towards him before he could recover. She put her arms over his shoulders and was pulling his head towards her. Nathan was trying not to smile as he let her kiss him forcefully. He then let himself get caught up in her as he leaned into her returning the passion. His arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her right up against him. Nathan tried to contain himself as he realized she was straddling him, even though she didn't know it. He stood up slowly, not breaking their kisses and moved them to the center of the hot tub. Just when he thought he had himself under control, Nathan abruptly pulled back and stood up. Haley slunk down and looked away.

"Haley James! Did you just slip me your tongue?"

Haley sheepishly looked up and saw Nathan smiling brightly. He slid back into the water and put his arms under hers.

"Hales. Look at me." Haley looked up into his sparkling blue eyes. "I'm telling you this is nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Easy for you to say, Nathan. You've had plenty of experience with this. This is new to me."

"This is new to me too, Hales. I'm telling you it's not like this with other girls."

"What is it like? With me, I mean."

"I don't know if I can explain it. It's just natural….It's like I knew it was going to be. I just didn't expect you to give me the tongue so fast!" Haley pushed him back playfully, but he returned just as quickly. "I guess I'm a good teacher, huh?"

"How do you feel about me Nathan?" Haley blurted out.

Nathan grimaced at the question. He didn't like that she was putting it all out there like that even though he knew it was because he told her she could ask him anything. Haley looked slightly disappointed as she began to sense that she was going to get an answer she didn't want.

"Like I said before, I can't explain it. I don't think I can put it into words." Haley nodded but knew he was able to read the confusion on her eyes. He cupped her cheek in his hand and added "You should be able to feel it when I kiss you. Let's just feel it, Haley. I don't want to try to explain it just yet."

Haley complied as she closed her eyes as Nathan leaned in and kissed her gently and deeply. She tried to focus on what she felt and on what she felt coming from him. To say, it felt good when he kissed her didn't seem sufficient. Haley knew he was right. There just were not words to explain what they were feeling.

"Feel good?"

"Mmm," Haley answered weakly.

After a couple of minutes of kissing on and off, they pulled away as headlights appeared in the distance. Nathan got out of the hot tub and grabbed his towel.

"I'm thinking Rachel doesn't need to know about this?"

Haley knew it was risky to keep a secret like this from Rachel, but she agreed it was probably for the best. "Where are you going?"

"To take a cold shower."

* * *

"10!...9!...8!….7!….6!…5!...4!….3!…2!…1!"

Choruses of "Happy New Year!" sounded around the living room as the Scotts hugged each other and Haley. The evening had actually turned out unexpectedly nice. Deb's younger brother, Cooper, had surprised them all by dropping in with his new girlfriend, Jules. Coop was a bit of playboy but he seemed to be real serious about Jules, and everyone loved her right away.

Nathan had also been in a good mood, a definite change from earlier in the day when he was doing anything he could to aggravate his father. The family and Haley had played cards, laughed through two movies and pigged out on junk food.

As they settled in to watch the ball drop, Haley tried to avoid thinking about Nathan. He had been making that extremely difficult all evening. Nathan had been giving her his intense looks all evening and managed to get close to her every chance he got. A couple of times, Haley had actually jumped as he brushed up against her. Each time, Nathan smirked, letting her know that he knew full well the effect he was having on her and that he was enjoying it.

As hugs began to go around, Haley signed in relief realizing that Nathan had disappeared. She silently thanked God since she wasn't sure if she could handle hugging him in front of everyone without giving her feelings away.

Just then, Nathan's arms wrapped around her from behind. He leaned his mouth to his ear and whispered. "Happy New Year, Hales. I'll get my New Year's kiss later." Haley's eyes widened as she waited for him to release her. When he finally did, she realized her heart was about to jump out of her chest. She looked around relieved to see that no one had noticed.

* * *

Haley lay in her bed wide awake. She couldn't image falling asleep at all tonight. Haley stiffened as she heard her door slowly open.

"You awake?" Nathan whispered into the room.

Haley sat up as Nathan entered the room, shutting the door behind him. He went over sat on the bed and smiled at her. Haley felt giddy in anticipation as she smiled back at him.

"I'm here to claim my New Year's kiss."

"Oh, you are, are you?"

"Are you teasing me, Hales?"

"Maybe a little."

"Well, if that's the case- if you're going to be a tease-I can just leave." Nathan stood up and turned toward the door.

"Nathan!" Haley said a little too loudly.

"Shhhh…" Nathan said sitting back down and putting his finger over her lip. He continued to smile at her.

"If you want to kiss me, you have to do it yourself." Haley looked at him, rolling her eyes. "I made the first move. And the second actually. Now it's your turn."

"Nathan..." Haley whined. Nathan just sat there smiling at her. "I don't think I can do it."

"Why not, Haley? I'm not going to turn you away. You can kiss me anytime you want. Even in front of my family, although I don't think that's a good idea right now. Even in school, in the middle of the hallway, wherever. I like the aggressive Haley James."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Nathan."

"Well it could. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I won't turn you away. Not after how you kissed me earlier. I want you kiss me like that again, Haley." Haley was blushing profusely as he stroked her cheek. "What is it? Tell me, Hales."

"I'm just embarrassed, Nathan."

"Why? Do you have any idea how crazy you make me. When you blush like that? When you bite your lip? I thought I was going to die when I saw you in that bikini but now, seeing you in these flannels, you just seem to get sexier by the minute."

"Stop it, Nathan!" Haley knew she must be turning crimson at this point.

"Really?" Nathan looked at her seriously.

"No…I just…I'm just not used to this."

"Well get used to it, Haley. Now will you please put me out of my suffering and just kiss me?"

Haley looked at him and tried gather her courage. She wasn't sure why this was so hard. It wasn't fear of rejection or her self-confidence. Instead, it was because it was Nathan, because she knew him so well, because he knew her so well, that instead of making it easier, she found it more difficult. Nathan meant so much to her and the Scotts seemed to be heading to a better place and Haley doubted her place in their family. In her heart, she wasn't sure she could be both Rachel's friend and Nathan's….she wasn't sure what she was to him at the moment… but it seemed to be more than friends. Haley then remembered Nathan's words in the hot tub. She tried to stop explaining what was happening and tried to focus on what she was feeling.

Haley scooted up to her knees and put her arms around Nathan's neck. She felt a wave of excitement as their lips touched. They gave each other a series of short, quick kisses before Nathan leaned in guiding her into a deeper one. Haley then felt Nathan's tongue on her lips. Knowing what he wanted, she opened her lips and let her tongue enter her mouth. As their tongues played with each other, Haley couldn't help but smile. Nathan then began to smile and the two of them broke away laughing. Their laughter was contagious and Nathan finally put his finger to her lips to try and get her to quiet down.

Once they stopped, Nathan pulled away and stood up to leave. "I probably should get going." Haley looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Hales, don't do that to me. We need to take this slow. Remember what I told you?"

Haley rolled her eyes at him. She knew he was being cocky when he told her once he kissed her she would want more, but she didn't think he would be so right. Not wanting to feed his ego, Haley narrowed her eyes at him. "That I can kiss you anytime I want? Yeah, I remember. And I'm all done with you for the night so you can leave now."

"Is that so?"

Nathan tackled her on the bed and began giving her a quick series of kisses all over her face. "I think you found my weak spot. I can't resist you when you tease me."

Nathan began tickling her but was forced to cover her mouth when she began to giggle loudly. Once she stopped, Nathan took his hand away and kissed her one last time. Feeling a sudden shift in his body as he laid on top of her, he quickly got up and smiled before he opened the door and walked out.

Haley remained in place, smiling, as she tried to hold onto her feelings.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: Stronger (Kayne West)

AN: I just wanted to explain a little bit about Nathan for what is coming up. This Nathan, like Season 1 Nathan, is a mess on the inside. How could he not be considering what he was been through and who his parents are? That's what I always thought when I was watching the show anyway. He doesn't really know how to have a real emotional relationship with someone and he doesn't feel worthy of Haley. Therefore, even when he does something like kissing Haley in this chapter, he feels weak. Now, things will change for him, but it will take some time. Right now I am writing chapter 20 and that is where he is at his weakest. There are just some things that need to happen for him to start to have some real self-confidence. So the bottom line is: I hope you know that you can trust me and stick with this story even if you don't like some of the things that are going on! I think it's worth it. Also, Haley also makes tons of mistakes and has her own issues. Right now, she is very young and inexperienced but that will change as well!


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: I can't thank **Pamela** enough for her help with this story!

Chapter 9: "Stronger" (Kayne West)

"So you and Brooke, huh?" Haley asked Lucas pointedly.

"How'd you guess?"

"From the way she called you 'boyfriend' at lunch."

"Yeah, she's being doing that lately."

"So it's true?"

"Yeah. We're like together…. or whatever."

"So what about Peyton?"

"Peyton's all drama and Brooke…well, she's fun."

"That's one way to put it!" Haley said laughing.

"Hey!"

"She's my friend too. I'm allowed to say that!"

"Uh huh."

"So how's it going with varsity?"

"Okay. Now that Nathan's back they aren't going to give me an uniform yet, but Whitey still wants me to do double practices."

"That's rough."

"I don't mind. I really want to make varsity."

"You will," Haley said assuredly.

"Not if Nathan keeps up his streak. He's been scoring over twenty-five points a game. I hate to admit it, but he's really good."

Haley couldn't help but smile. She had been attending all the home varsity games and even a few of the away ones in show of support to Nathan. It was one of the best ways to see him these days. With Nathan cleared to play, but still attending physical therapy, Haley wasn't able to see him much. When she did, she felt like a nervous little girl, unsure of how to act. Nathan always seemed very confident and strong which in turn made Haley even more on edge. They had shared a few more quick kisses in private, each time with Nathan egging her on to go after him in public. Each time, Haley told him not to expect anything, mostly because she was trying to sensitive to Rachel's needs. That may have just been an excuse though. Part of Haley was scared of everyone knowing about the change in their relationship. Unlike Nathan, she was not used to, nor did she seek out the spotlight. For now, she was content to keep it all to herself.

"I'm just so happy he's back. If they make playoffs, Luke, I won't be surprised if Whitey dresses you."

"I'll be ready if he does."

* * *

"Lucas Eugene Scott!" Haley grabbed Lucas by his arm and led him out the school doors.

"What? You sound like my Mom!"

"What's going on with you and Peyton?"

"Nothing," Lucas said shifting uneasily.

"So you guys weren't together recently?"

"No…Have you talked to Peyton?"

"Why? Are you trying to figure out what lie to tell me next?"

Lucas turned away from Haley. "I wanted to tell you Hales."

"Tell me what?"

"We've been—"

"I know 'you've been' because I saw you kissing her which is a real jackass move considering you have a girlfriend named Brooke!"

"I know! I don't need a lecture Haley!"

"So stop it then! It's wrong!"

"I will. It just happened once. It's over anyway." Haley shook her head and began to walk away.

"Haley!" Haley turned around as Lucas caught up with her. "Brooke can't know. Please don't tell her."

"I don't like the person you're becoming Luke. Next time you see me, don't talk to me!" Haley spun on her heels and left him standing there looking after her.

* * *

"You're coming tonight, right?" Nathan said as he leaned up against Haley's locker.

"You think I'd miss it when you clinch your spot for playoffs?"

"You better not. Speaking of that, there is probably going to be a party tonight to celebrate. Will you come?"

"I don't think so. Tim and Damien will be there right?"

"It's at Damien's beach house. But so will Luke, now that he's with varsity. Plus Brooke and Peyton. Most importantly, I'll be there. And I want you there with me," Nathan said smiling at her.

Haley felt conflicted. She wanted to be there with Nathan, but everything else sounded like a bad mix. There would be drinking and Haley didn't want to be around that, Damien still gave her the creeps and she hadn't talked to Lucas since their fight. Things had been a little tense with Peyton as well. With all drama going on, she didn't want this to be the night that people picked up on what was going on with her and Nathan.

"I can't, Nathan." Nathan looked at her disappointed.

"I won't leave your side. I promise. Just like at the concert. I will even make sure Lucas goes. I'll talk to him _myself_." Nathan looked at her proudly.

"Nate, that's not a good selling point these days," Haley blurted out.

"Why? Did he do something to you?" Haley could see Nathan beginning to get agitated. This bothered her as she thought back to his cavalier response to when Damien gave her a hard time. Haley made up her mind. It was definitely not a good idea to go to the party.

"No! Leave it alone Nathan! Look, I'll be at the game and I don't care if you go the party but I just don't want to go okay?"

"Haley…"

"No. I'm not changing my mind so let it go." Nathan turned and walked away, clearly upset at her. Haley hoped he would get over it soon enough.

* * *

"So what if I score thirty-five points tonight?"

"Nathan, would you stop pressuring me!"

"What if I get the game winning shot?"

"Nathan!"

"Come on, Hales. The fate of the game tonight depends on you." Nathan smiled at her as he checked the clock. It was halftime and they were only up by five points. Whitey would kill him if he knew he snuck out to talk to Haley, but he figured he had another minute before the coach came out to give them their pep talk.

"Nate, you know I want you to win. More than anything. I'll do anything else. I promise."

"Just say you'll think about it. Give me something here."

"Fine."

"Fine. Consider every shot I make my personal Haley James pick-up line." Nathan gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and Haley couldn't help but smile. Haley's smile faded as he snuck back into the locker room. No matter what happened, she knew she wasn't going to go to the party, but she didn't want to upset him anymore than she already had especially in the middle of such a tight game.

Haley was accosted by Brooke and Peyton as she reentered the gym. They were both in their Raven's cheerleading uniforms, Brooke looking more that part than Peyton, who was miserable.

"So is Nate on fire tonight or what?"

"Yeah, he's doing pretty good."

"Looking pretty good, too," Brooke added as the boys came out of the locker room. Nathan looked directly at Haley and nodded.

"Did you see that?"

"What?" Peyton asked looking around.

"Nathan just gave Tutor Girl 'the nod.' The let's hook up after the game nod."

"No, he didn't. Besides, I'm not going to the party tonight anyway," Haley dismissed.

"Oh well. You know what I think? I think Peyton likes Nathan, but Nathan likes Tutor Girl. Tutor Girl must like Lucas, but sorry so do I and I know he likes me!"

"You've got it all wrong Brooke," Haley said annoyed. "Lucas and I just friends. You know that."

"So you like Nathan? I knew it! Sorry, Peyton."

Haley began feel anger rise up insider her. It was the second reference Brooke made to Peyton liking Nathan. Where was that coming from? "Nathan and I are friends just like Peyton and Lucas are friends. _Right, Peyton_?" Haley narrowed her eyes at Peyton. She wasn't sure if Lucas had told her she knew about the kiss, but there was no doubt the curly blonde knew now.

"Right," Peyton added dryly.

"Great! You can totally hook up with him tonight since I have a feeling Lucas and I will be busy on our own!"

Haley tried not to stomp her feet as she turned and walked away.

* * *

The crowd was on their feet as Nathan stood at the free throw line. He had two shots to make and the score was 65-66 with only five seconds left on the clock. The Ravens could tie in with one free throw, or get the win with two. Nathan had continued to be the star player second half, his teammates looked tired while Nathan's energy never faltered. Whitey hadn't taken him out once, while he had tried to switch up the remaining players.

Nathan's face showed determination and focus as he dribbled the ball at the line. The visiting team's fans were taunting him loudly while the home team was quietly on edge. Both sides erupted as Nathan made the first shot. Raven fans were collectively screaming and jumping up and down while the visitors booed. Both sides quieted down as Nathan prepared to take his second shot. With a one swift moment, the ball landed directly in the hoop. The Raven's jumped off the bench clobbering Nathan as they hoisted him up. He was laughing and smiling brightly as he looked around at the rancorous and enthusiastic fans. When he locked eyes with the brown eyes he was searching for, his smile turned into a knowing smirk as he gave her a slight nod.

* * *

"So?" Nathan said as he approached a waiting Haley. He was tied up for a while after the game and there were still plenty of people around, but he was just grateful to finally be able to talk to Haley. He playfully grabbed both of her hands and began swinging them with his. Haley took a quick look around but relaxed as no one seemed to be paying attention to them.

"So, congratulations! That was the best game I've seen; the most exciting! I'm so happy for you!"

"So, I get a reward right?"

Haley looked down, avoiding his eyes.

"Haley! You have to come. _I need you to come_," Nathan said seriously.

"I can't. I'm sorry. Anything else though. I'm really proud of you."

"Bullshit!" Nathan said pulling away. After taking a deep breath to calm himself, he tried to begin again. "I know you don't like parties, Haley, but this is about celebrating the win. I won't even drink if you come."

"And if I don't? What will you do then, Nathan?" Haley challenged as she crossed her arms and glared at him.

Nathan began to get frustrated as well. It was clear that she was not going to come. It was also clear that she was not ready to be seen with him. He also suspected that she was letting some fight she had with Lucas get to her. Not only that, but she wouldn't tell him about it, which bothered him even more. Realizing he was fighting a losing battle with Haley, and not just in regards to the party, but with their relationship as well, Nathan let his anger surface.

"Well, you've heard the stories, right? I guess I'll get wasted and return to my old ways."

Haley flinched at his words. "Have fun then," she said as she stormed off.

Nathan wanted to go after her but something was stopping him. The changes in their relationship were not going the way he hoped and he needed time to try and figure everything out. Maybe Haley was too young to deal with him and all his issues. Feeling slightly guilty, Nathan decided he was going to need to change his approach with her but for tonight, he was going to join his friends and celebrate the only way he knew how.

* * *

Haley looked at her clock for what felt like the hundredth time. She kept playing out the conversations from the game in her head. Two things seemed to stand out to her. Peyton in some way liked Nathan. Secondly, Nathan outright told her he was going to get wasted. Haley had convinced herself a hookup was inevitable. She also knew she could have avoided creating such drama by simply going to the party. Haley felt she was getting what she deserved. Instead of being supportive, she had upset Nathan on the night of the best win of the season. She hoped she could fix everything, as long as it wasn't too late. Haley wasn't sure what her breaking point would be, but if Nathan even held back a little at the party, she decided she would try to make things right.

Haley also became determined to fix things with Lucas. When Haley thought about her behavior overall, she felt like a childish school girl. She had embarrassed herself. Haley had always been told how mature she was for her age, how she was an "old soul." As she lay in bed, Haley felt the weight of those words as she knew everyone had expected more of her. Determined not to let down those she cared about, Haley began to rehearse conversations she would have with two of the most important guys in her life.

* * *

Haley's stomach was in knots as she looked around for Nathan or Lucas at the start of the school day. Nathan hadn't called her all weekend which definitely wasn't a good sign. She had called over to the Scotts once, only to get Rachel. She told her that her Dad would be driving her in to school since she had a meeting at the Tutor Center before school. Haley was hoping that Nathan would call when Rachel relayed the message, but he hadn't. Haley had tried to shrug it off. It was only a matter of time before she saw Nathan in the hallway or Lucas in class.

Haley felt a wave of relief as she noticed Nathan waiting at her locker. She walked toward him smiling, trying to let him know in her own way that was both receptive to him and sorry for their fight. Nathan didn't smile back. His eyebrows were furrowed and he wore an anxious expression on his face.

"Haley, I need to talk to you." Haley's heart sunk into her chest.

"Okay. After school?"

"No. I need to tell you something before you hear it from someone else." Haley swallowed hard.

"I'm listening."

"It's about the party. I got real wasted. It was pretty bad. I don't even remember everything clearly. But I know I spent a lot of time with Peyton…" Haley closed her eyes bracing herself for the words she knew were about to come.

"I can't," Haley interjected. "I can't hear this now. I have two tests today. I need to focus." Haley looked directly at him. She didn't know how it happened, but a sudden wave of calmness had swept over her. She had prepared herself for this, had even expected it. Haley knew it was going to hurt like hell later but she felt in control at the moment, as long as she pushed everything deep down and away.

"Okay. But we need to talk. Can I come by tonight after my practice? We can go for a walk."

"Whatever."

"I'll see you later." Nathan looked up and tried to smile at her. "Good luck on your tests." Haley didn't respond as she looked away as he walked in the opposite direction.

* * *

With one her tests down, Haley began to feel a bit better. She looked over at Lucas, who was also finished with test. She smiled at him and he looked around to see if she was looking at someone else. When his eyes returned to him, she smiled again. A minute before class was over, students began to line up at the door and Haley walked over to Lucas.

"How did you do?"

"Fine."

"So, maybe we could hang out today before practice?"

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked Haley confused.

"Yeah. I'm sorry how I've been acting Luke and I just want things to go back to the way they were."

"Okay. I have both practices today so I can only give you twenty minutes. Is that cool?"

"Sure. Then, maybe we can set up something for later?"

"I'd like that."

Haley felt a little guilty as the bell rang and they left class. She could already see how much she was going to need to lean on him as things headed south with Nathan.

* * *

"Haley! Haley!" Haley turned around to see Peyton running towards her. Classes were over and Haley didn't understand what Peyton would have to say to her.

"I wanted to talk to you in class but that Spanish test was hard! Took me all period."

"Yeah, I know," Haley said hesitantly.

"Look, I don't know what you've heard but I just wanted to let you know that I did not hook up with Nathan." Haley looked at her surprised. The truth was that she hadn't heard a thing about this big party, which she was grateful for, but she also did not expect to hear Peyton to say that!

"Really? Because he said you two spent some time together."

"We did. We were both really drunk and pretty much talked all night. More like drowned our sorrows. I don't really remember everything but he talked about you a lot." Peyton stopped for a moment, as if trying to gauge Haley's reaction, then started back up. "I know you've been upset with me and Lucas lately but I want you to know that I wouldn't go after Nathan just to get back at you. I'm not like that."

Haley looked at her and nodded. "But you like him?"

"Well, he's hot, yeah, but everyone knows there's something going on with you two. I would be stupid to think I had a chance with him." Peyton put her arm around Haley. "He only has eyes for you, Haley." Haley couldn't help but smile. "And those are some blue eyes, too!"

Haley laughed. "I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time, Peyton. What's going on with you and Luke is really none of my business."

"No. You were right. For what it's worth, I want you know that it was just one kiss and it hasn't happened again. It's not going to either. Maybe you could teach me how to be just friends with Lucas though?" Peyton smiled at her.

"That's easy when he feels like one of your brothers!"

"Yeah, I don't have that same problem. Seriously, though are we cool? I mean about Nathan too? I think him and me maybe friends now, but I promise there is nothing else going on."

"We're cool." Haley turned around to face Peyton. "Thank you being so honest with me. It means a lot."

"I'm telling you that's how I usually am. I just had one slip up. Won't happen again."

"Deal. So you don't remember what he said about me?" Haley asked not being able to help herself.

Peyton flinched. "No...sorry...It was just Haley this, Haley that. I know he was mad you weren't there. I don't think it was anything too deep though. Sorry! I can always try to pump him for info for you though! I feel like I owe you that."

"No, that's okay. We're going to talk tonight. I have a feeling things will be okay after that."

"Good! So maybe we can hang out later?"

"Sure. And let me know if you need help in Spanish. I take good notes."

"I may take you up on that!"

* * *

"What a game last week, huh?" Jimmy asked Nathan.

"Yeah, it was pretty good."

"So what now?"

"We're going for the league title. That may go till the end of the season though. If we get that, we get a top seed and home advantage."

"That'd be nice. If you keep playing like that, I'd say you have a good shot."

"I hope so."

Haley walked in from the kitchen and grabbed her coat. Nathan stood up to join her at the door.

"How's the shoulder?"

"It's fine. Not a problem."

"You're pretty lucky that healed up so fast. Must be nice to be young! Well, good luck. I'll be there rooting you on," Jimmy said as he patted Nathan on the back.

"Thanks, Mr. James."

"Have fun kids!"

Haley and Nathan headed out the door and towards the Riverwalk.

"So how did you do on your tests?"

"Pretty good."

"That's my girl," Nathan said as he snuck her a quick smile. They continued to walk in silence for the next couple of minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.

Haley was just about to jump and begin talking when Nathan started. "I'm sorry Haley. I shouldn't have pressured you about the party."

"No. I just should have gone. I was being stupid and stubborn."

"It was good that you didn't go. You would have hated it. Damien was being a total ass. I think he hooked up with a least three different girls and I pretty sure one of them was a freshmen. Tim was also bragging today but he's all talk. They were giving me a hard time about Peyton too. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I'm not sure what you've heard…." Nathan's voice trailed off.

"I talked to Peyton."

"Really? What did she say?" Nathan asked nervously.

"That you two didn't hook up."

"We didn't," Nathan said quickly.

"That's really all that matters to me, Nate."

"I wouldn't do that to you. You gotta believe me," Nathan pleaded.

"I do," Haley said with certainty.

"Well, I did get pretty wasted though. I'm not proud of that."

"I'm not happy about that. You know how I feel. I'm not going to punish you for that though. We both made mistakes. I was trying to avoid Lucas and I let that get to me."

"What did he do to you Hales?"

"He didn't do anything to me," Haley stressed. "Except disappoint me. We talked today and I'm feeling a lot better about it."

"I swear, I'll kick his ass if I need to Haley. Just say the word."

"Nathan!"

"Okay, I'll leave him alone." Nathan paused for a moment and Haley knew he was thinking about something heavy. "The thing is, Haley, I don't want to disappoint you. I feel like I already have." Nathan took a deep breath before continuing. "There are going to be more parties. Sometimes I just don't know how to handle everything. I feel like I have to go—it's a team thing. I don't want you get upset with me though."

"So I'll just go if you want."

"No, I don't think that is a good idea either. Like I said, you'd hate it. I don't want you to be miserable just so you can babysit me. I think I can handle it. I was being weak and drinking because I was pissed but I can be stronger. Especially if I know you'll still be around."

"I don't know, Nathan. Don't you think it would be easier if I just went with you?"

"I don't want you there. I don't want you around Damien like that. I mean, I know if I'm around he'll leave you alone but I don't even want you to see the guys like that. I don't want you to see me like that."

"Well don't be like that then!"

"You have to trust me, Haley. I promise I won't get messed up like that again. And you don't have to worry about me with any other girls either." Haley rolled her eyes at him. Nathan put his arms around her waist and pulled her close him. "You're the only girl I want, Haley James." Nathan closed the distance between them with a kiss.

Haley quickly pulled back. "So I'm just supposed to let you go to these wild parties while I sit home?"

"How about for every party I go to, I take you out the next night? Just you and me."

"Like on a date?"

"Sure. But just remember that I would have to let your dad know," Nathan said raising his eyebrows.

Haley shook her head adamantly. "Maybe we don't have to call it a date. Movies? We can just go to the movies."

"Then, I owe you a movie. Saturday night?" Haley nodded. "But I get to pick. No chick flicks."

"No horror movies."

"Deal."

* * *

"Nathan! I said no horror movies!" One side of Haley's face was plastered on Nathan's chest as she tried to peak out the corner of her eye.

"It's not! Just a little action. It's okay now."

Haley turned around and looked at the screen to see a man strapped to a chair. A man then began beating the man in the chair with a piece of metal. Haley hit Nathan before slamming her face back into his chest. Nathan laughed loudly. "You're a jerk!" Haley said as she looked up at him.

"How do you know this wasn't my plan all along? Just so I could get you close to me like this?" Nathan said with a glint in his eye.

"Nice try," Haley said pulling away from him. Haley sat back in her seat and quickly covered her eyes with her hands as shots rang out from the screen.

Haley suddenly fell very still as she felt Nathan's lips on her neck. "I'm sorry, baby. Let me make it up to you," Nathan huskily whispered into her ear. Haley's body twitched as chills swept through her body. She moved her hands off her face and turned meeting his lips.

After a couple of minutes, Haley abruptly pulled away as their kisses began to intensify. Nathan and Haley were enjoying their seats toward the top of the theater, away from the few other people in audience but Haley was nervously looking around to see if anyone noticed them making out. She got caught up in the moment and was clearly embarrassed. Nathan began laughing as Haley glared at him. They both spend the rest of the movie only half-heartedly paying attention to the screen as Nathan tried in vain to get Haley to kiss him again.

As the exited the movie theater, Haley let Nathan take her hand, signaling a cease-fire to their teasing.

Haley looked down as Nathan suddenly dropped her hand. As she looked up, she saw a group of basketball players, all clad with their varsity jackets, including Tim and Damien, heading towards them.

When they reached Nathan and Haley they stopped to talk to them. Haley shifted uneasily as Damien stared at her.

"So, is this a date, Nate?" Tim asked.

"No," Nathan answered quickly. "You guys know Haley and I…" Nathan's voice trailed off.  
"No, definitely not a date."

Haley looked at Nathan surprised. She then noticed that Damien was still standing there with his hands in his pockets still staring at her. Haley felt like she had to get out of there fast. She sidestepped Damien and headed out the doors.

"If that's your story," Tim called after Nathan as he followed Haley outside.

When Nathan caught up to Haley, he wasn't sure what to say, so he simply walked her to his car and opened the door for her. They drove in silence for a few minutes until Nathan finally spoke.

"Are you pissed at me Haley?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Haley, you're the one who said not to call this a date? I mean, didn't I get that right?"

"Yeah, you did all right. It just bothered me hearing you say it. And did you see how Damien was looking at me? I felt like he was undressing me in his mind! He is such a perv."

"I know. That's why I don't want you around him if I can help it." Haley thought about this and couldn't help but wish Nathan would just tell him off. Heck, she wouldn't even mind if he decked him. She knew that wasn't realistic though because they were part of a "team."

"Look, Hales, I don't feel like I should have to apologize but I will. I'm sorry okay?"

"Yeah, that really helps. Thanks, Nathan," she said sarcastically.

Nathan suddenly banged his fist on the steering wheel startling Haley. "What do you want from me Haley? Can you please just tell me?" Nathan yelled.

Haley sat in silence looking at the window. She hated when Nathan got like this. He had a temper and from experience she knew any little thing she did would just incite him further. Haley knew it was best just to let him calm down.

After pulling into Haley's driveway, they both sat there with the car running. When Haley began to take off her seatbelt, Nathan reached for her hand.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes I just don't know how to handle everything."

"I know." Haley said softly squeezing his hand back. At the back her mind she couldn't help but think that she was one of those things he couldn't handle and maybe he was starting to regret the change in their relationship. He had predicted things would get complicated, and at the time the only complication Haley could foresee was Rachel. Now, there seemed to be so many complications, some she couldn't even clearly identify. The most daunting one was the possibility of losing Nathan completely from her life.

"Do you want me to come in?"

"Yes," Haley answered quickly. Nathan shut off the car and smiled at her.

Hoping to ease the tension, Haley began talking as soon as Nathan opened her door. "So are you going to be in that charity auction next week?"

"Yup. Coach makes us. Think you'll bid on me?" Nathan said smirking.

"I don't think I can do that," Haley said shaking her head.

"Sure you can. And you if don't, someone else will. Did you know that all bids end with a midnight kiss?" Nathan raised his eyebrows at her, still smirking. "Auction rules, Hales."

"I'll think about it."

"Seriously, Hales, I'm counting on you. This could be just what we need. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard you know? Maybe we wouldn't have to hide anything from anyone anymore."

"I said I'd think about it. I certainly don't want your ego getting too big!" Haley turned and smiled back at him as they headed into her house.

"Too late for that. You should see what I have planned for my big entrance! Bring lots of cash!"

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "Take Me Away" (Avril Lavigne)

AN: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story! Writing this has been such a positive experience for me and all the feedback really helps!


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thanks to **Pamela** for her editing and feedback!

Chapter 10: "Take Me Away" (Avril Lavigne)

"I need you, Haley!" Brooke grabbed Haley's arm and began pulling her away from the crowd in the auditorium and out into the lobby.

"What?" Haley asked as she rubbed her arm trying to recover from Brooke's tight grip.

"I need you to bid on Lucas."

"I can't. I'm bidding on Nathan."

"Please, Haley? You can have Nathan _anytime_. I really need this."

"Well, you can have Lucas _anytime_, so what's the big deal? Why aren't you bidding on him yourself, anyway?"

"I only brought my checkbook and they only take cash. I guess there's not an ATM around either. I'm going to try and find one but if I'm not back, can you please bid?"

"What I am supposed to do about Nathan? You can't win two guys."

"Have Peyton bid on him. Then maybe we can all switch or something."

"Why doesn't Peyton just bid on Lucas then?"

"Ugh! I don't have time for this Haley!" Brooke pushed Haley toward the corner of the lobby. She lowered her voice as she leaned in close to Haley. "Can you keep a secret?"

Haley nodded as her stomach tightened. She did not like where this was going.

"Something went on between Peyton and Lucas." Haley tried to avoid looking at Brooke in the eye as she began to feel pangs of guilt. "I'm not sure what," Brooke continued. "I think they had some type of fight about me. Peyton can be very protective you know. Anyway, she basically hates him now and won't even talk to him. I don't want to make things worse. So it would be a hell of a lot easier if you just bid on Lucas if I'm not back."

"Fine." Haley was not happy but she was literally backed into a corner.

Brooke grabbed her and hugged her tight jumping up and down. "I'll hurry. Hopefully, I won't miss him."

Brooke had no such luck as Lucas was the first boy to be auctioned off. As the music began to play and the crowd began to cheer, Lucas walked out onto the stage in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. His sheepish stance and uneasy behavior seemed to set off a firestorm with some of the ladies. Haley was on edge as she looked around for any sign of Brooke while two girls engaged in a heated bidding war. Just when one of the girls back down, Haley bid. To her surprise, the other girl immediately backed down as well. Haley figured she was lucky because it was the first bid and the girls felt they would have more opportunities. When both girls shot her a dirty look, Haley began to think twice and hoped that second opportunity wouldn't be Nathan.

As Haley went out and paid her fee, she tried to explain to the parent collecting the money that the bid was for Brooke, not her.

"That's not allowed," explained the parent at the payment table.

"What do you mean? My friend just ran out to get the cash. I'm going to bid on someone else."

"You can't do that. No switching is allowed. You must stick with your own date. Dinner reservations are included in your bid as well but the times are staggered. Since you were the first bid, you are up first. You need to be ready in fifteen minutes or forfeit."

Haley hastily handed her money to the woman and stormed back inside the auditorium. It took her a couple of minutes, but she eventually found Peyton.

"Peyton, you have to help me!"

"What?"

"I need you to bid on Nathan."

"Huh?"

"It's a long story. Brooke didn't have cash and she made me bid on Lucas. We thought we could switch or something, but we can't. So now, I need you to bid on Nathan," Haley said speaking very fast.

"But why?"

"I was supposed to bid on him. He was expecting it. You have to explain this to him. Tell him how everything got messed up. Brooke was supposed to be back and she isn't." Haley knew she was frantic and from the look on Peyton's face she knew Peyton must have been thinking she was crazy. "Those girls—" Haley said pointing, "were pissed they didn't get Lucas. I just know they are going to go after Nathan. You have to help me out." Haley was pleading at this point. "You owe me, remember?" Haley hated to point this out but she was desperate as expected Nathan to be up soon.

As predicted when the music started up again, Nathan peaked out of the curtains in a pair of sunglasses and his basketball warm-ups. He was clearly enjoying the attention from the crowd as the ladies went wild. He threw off his sunglasses and flashed his trademark smirk. When he strutted to the end of the catwalk, he ripped off his warm-up pants leaving him in his gym shorts.

Haley shot Peyton an anxious look as some of the girls whistled. "Smells like sex in here…How much do you have?" Peyton asked surveying the crowd. Haley began searching her wallet and handed her all of her bills.

"That's it," Haley said nervously.

"Haley!" Lucas said as he approached Haley from behind. "We have to go. We have a reservation."

"Just a minute," Haley answered without looking.

"Let's start the bidding!" Whitey announced.

Nathan began unbuttoning his warm-up jacket as the bidding started. A frenzy rang out when he ripped off the jacket to reveal his bare chest with the words "boy toy" written on in blue. Both Haley and Peyton's mouths dropped. Peyton looked at Haley and nodded.

As Peyton began to enter the bidding, Lucas grabbed Haley and turned him towards her. "Hales, we have to go!"

Haley breathed a sigh of relief as Peyton won the bid just before she and Lucas exited.

* * *

"You're totally not worth it," Haley joked as they sat down at the restaurant.

"Nice. At least I didn't have the words 'boy toy' written across my chest."

"That's Nathan for you!" Haley said nodding. Haley then fell silent and began biting her lip. She was worried about how Nathan would handle her not bidding on him.

As if reading her mind, Lucas began, "So you think Nathan will be mad at you?"

"I don't know. Things have been kind of up and down lately with us."

"I know how that goes."

"Really?" Haley asked surprised. "I thought things were good with Brooke. You know, now that things are over with Peyton." She paused. "They are over, _right_?"

"We don't even talk so, yeah. But I can't help but think about her sometimes."

"Have you told Brooke any of this?"

"No, and I don't intend to," Lucas said catching her eye. "She and Peyton are real close and Peyton made it real clear to me that she didn't want to lose their friendship over some guy." Haley could read the disappointment in his eyes. "So what is going on with you and Nathan?" he asked happy to change the subject back to her.

"I'm just not sure where we stand. We are not officially together and sometimes I think he wants us to be. Like tonight, for example." Haley ignored Lucas' roll of the eyes. "But now he doesn't want me to be around his friends either. Then there's the issue of Rachel. She would flip if she found out we were seeing each other and I don't want her to have a setback." Haley took a deep breath. "I'm confused and I think he is too. We are just trying to figure this all out."

"Have you told him how you feel?"

"Kind of." Haley thought for a moment and then admitted, "Not really. I haven't told him how I feel about him. I think I do want to be with him and I guess I don't want to have to hide it."

"You need to tell him, Haley. Take it from me. Things just blow up in your face when you hide your feelings."

"I guess you're right, but maybe you need to take your own advice too?"

* * *

As Lucas and Haley exited the restaurant, they ran smack into Peyton and Nathan.

"Nathan—" Haley began.

"I filled him in on everything," Peyton said. Haley looked closely at Nathan, trying to gauge his reaction. From what she could see, he looked more disappointed than angry.

"It's okay. I wanted this to work out for us, Haley. I really did. But I guess it didn't." Nathan pushed past them towards the restaurant doors, leaving Peyton trailing in his wake. "Let's get this over with."

Haley stood there looking after them wondering if Nathan meant the night didn't work out or if he was referring to their relationship. Haley decided Lucas was right and she needed to just lay it all out on the table with him and it looked like that needed to happen as soon as possible.

* * *

"If you ask me, I'll say yes." Haley turned around to see Nathan standing there. She had been looking at a flyer for a Valentine's Day fundraiser. Student Council was selling roses with a personal message to be delivered to last block classes on the upcoming holiday.

"Huh?"

"If you ask me to be your valentine, Hales. _But you have to ask me_. Or you could write it on one of those things." Nathan said pointed towards the flyer. Haley gave him a telling look that said that wasn't probable.

Privately, Haley was relieved at his suggestion, hoping it meant Nathan was still interested in her after the auction debacle. They hadn't really spoken since then and she was nervous that he had written her off. Haley decided she would take a risk and send him a rose. She couldn't bring herself to write the type of message he wanted, but she could just wish him a Happy Valentine's Day. She knew he would probably be impressed if she even did that. Afterwards, maybe even that night, she would tell him how she felt. Haley needed him to know how deep her feelings were for him and how afraid she was of losing him completely. Furthermore, she was ready to let everyone including her parents, Rachel and Nathan's friends, know how she felt. Haley smiled to herself, feeling confident and proud of her plan.

* * *

Haley couldn't stop smiling as she twisted around her rose and looked at the message. It wasn't signed but Haley recognized Nathan's handwriting from the way he wrote her name on the front. On the inside, he had simply written "YES!" Haley could barely contain her excitement. She hoped he would be waiting at her locker. If he was there, Haley imagined kissing him right then and there. She had thought a lot about it and she was ready to stop hiding everything. Haley laughed to herself as she imagined the look of shock on Nathan's face!

Haley looked around and realized the teacher had given up teaching. The delivery of roses to class had set off a wave of distractions. The teacher had a tough time settling the class as some people, like Brooke, were upset they did not get any roses. She didn't hesitate to call Lucas out in front of everyone. Then, just as the teacher regained the class' attention, a new batch of roses was delivered. It turned out that due to a change in the schedule from the snow day they had that week, most people had written the wrong room number on the messages. The classroom had turned into a revolving door with students coming in and out trying to locate the correct students.

"Haley, come here!" Haley got up and joined Brooke and Peyton. Brooke was in a much better mood since some of roses from Lucas had begun to arrive. In fact, getting them delivered in small doses seemed to be even more exciting for her. With the latest delivery, Peyton had received one and Brooke and Peyton were analyzing the message. "Someone asked Peyton to prom, but didn't sign their name! Who could it be?"

Haley peaked at the message and felt a wave of panic hit her. "Let me see that!" Haley said as she grabbed the message. Just then, another delivery came in with six more roses for Peyton.

"How exciting! It's like a puzzle. They're all letters," Brooke said excitedly. Haley put the message down and began to walk way. "T…. N….A…." Brooke began reading off the letters.

Haley purposely blocked out the rest as she grabbed her book bag and lined up at the door. She thought she may have heard Peyton call her name as the bell rang but she couldn't be sure. Haley headed towards the girl's room only pausing to throw her rose in the garbage can. After entering one of the stalls inside, Haley dropped her book bag, locked the door, sat down and began to cry.

* * *

Nathan stood at Haley's locker proudly holding the rose Haley sent him. He was caught off guard at the sight of Lucas making a beeline for him. His face was red and he was obviously pissed. Nathan looked around quickly to see if there was something going on but he had to admit it Lucas was looking right at him.

"That was low, Nathan. Even for you," Lucas said pushing him back into the row of lockers.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"You know, I didn't get it but I thought you at least cared for her, you know. Do you? Do you even care about her? Or was this all some sick twisted game to get under my skin?"

"Man, Lucas, what the hell are you talking about?"

Lucas paused for a moment and dropped his book bag, as did Nathan. A crowd was beginning to form around their shouting match. "You must have meant to hurt her right? I mean, why would you have sent those roses to Peyton when you knew she was in the same class as her? You are one sick bastard."

Nathan closed his eyes realizing what happened. The snow day had obviously fucked things up. This was not his plan. There were originally supposed to end the day in period 7, not period 6. He was supposed to have a chance to talk to Haley first. Knowing he was screwed, Nathan didn't even try to suppress the anger rising up inside him.

Lucas lowered his voice. "You should have seen her face, Nathan. I've never seen Haley so hurt. Does that make you feel good? Huh?"

"Don't…_you_…talk to _me_... about hurting HALEY!" Nathan took a step back and in one swift movement punched Lucas square in the eye. As Lucas struggled to recover, Nathan tackled him to the ground and began repeatedly punching him. There were no thoughts running through his head, only the emotion of anger which was being funneled out through his fists.

* * *

Haley stayed in the girl's room for about an hour. She wasn't ready to face anyone but she was also embarrassed by her appearance. Without looking in the mirror, she knew her eyes were red and puffy. There was no use hiding she had been sobbing her heart out. When she finally exited the bathroom, she walked with her head down. Luckily, there weren't that many people around. Haley's heart sunk as she saw a pair of legs standing beside her locker. She slowly looked up to see Rachel standing there. As their eyes met, Haley felt all her emotions surface again. Rachel reached out her arms and Haley buried herself in them, sobbing once again.

"I'm so sorry, Haley. My brother is such a jackass," Rachel said sympathetically. Haley instinctively shook her head and pulled away. She couldn't help but want to defend him, especially when Rachel was about to trash him.

"I'm the stupid one. Does everyone know?"

"Yeah. It took both Principal Turner and Mr. Jones to pull Nathan off of Lucas. He's in some serious trouble if that makes you feel any better."

Haley's eyes widened in confusion. "What are you talking about? What does Lucas have to do with this?"

"Haley, where have you been? Nathan and Lucas had a throwdown. With Nathan on top. And everyone knows it was about you."

"I had no idea." Haley didn't realize it was possible to feel any worse than earlier. She banged her forehead against the locker repeatedly before Rachel reached out to stop her. "Is Lucas okay?"

"He had a bloody nose, but yeah, he was fine. Why were you crying then, Hales? What did my Neanderthal of a brother do to you?"

"I feel even more stupid now. He asked Peyton to the prom. I don't know why I got so upset. I mean, it's not like we were together or anything."

"But he led you on, Haley. Even I could see that. Look, maybe I should have told you earlier but they hooked up after they clinched playoffs. I also saw them making out the night of the charity auction."

"I don't know what to think anymore."

"Come on, Haley. I've got your back. Nathan will get what's coming to him. Let's get you home."

After calling Haley's mom for a ride, the two girls headed out the front doors.

"Oh, great, here comes my dad. What is Mr. West doing with him?"

Haley looked down as the two men approached them. She was happy to let Rachel do the talking.

"What the hell is going on, Rachel?"

"I don't know Dad, but trust me when I tell you Lucas got the worst of it!" Haley cringed as she witnessed Rachel trying to please her father as usual. She was the ultimate Daddy's girl.

"We'll see about that when I'm through with him." Haley tried not to feel guilty as Mr. Scott and Mr. West entered the high school. No matter what was going on with them, the last thing she wished upon Nathan was a furious Dan Scott.

* * *

Haley was partially relieved that both Nathan and Lucas weren't in school on Friday. Haley had managed to get through the day, but only because of Rachel. Haley could feel people looking at her, but no one dared approach her with Rachel by her side. Even Brooke and Peyton seemed to take the hint. They had both called Haley, but she had gone to bed early with a migraine and didn't bother to return their calls.

Rachel spent both Friday and Saturday nights at the James'. Haley was miserable, but she had to admit Rachel was helping. The reverted back to their childhood girl days and ate ice cream, fixed each other's hair and stayed up late watching movies. Haley loved Rachel when she was like this. Underneath everything, Rachel could be very sweet when it suited her. Over the weekend, Rachel's bitchy side hadn't come out once, as she doted on Haley. But she also didn't bring up Nathan. Not even once. This was kind of killing Haley a little as she was curious about what happened with him, but she fought off those feelings, not wanting to go there just yet.

Rachel was forced to leave Haley on Sunday morning at the urging of her parents. Haley took the opportunity to take a walk over to Karen's café. Lucas usually helped his parents with the breakfast rush and Haley was hoping to catch him before he left. Haley's relief at finding him soon vanished as she caught sight of his face. His left eye was black and blue and his nose looked a little crooked. Lucas gave her an embarrassed look as she approached him.

"I'm so sorry, Luke."

"Don't, Haley. It just makes this worse."

"Sorry. Can we talk though?"

"Give me a half hour. We should be good by then. Want something while you wait?"

"No, but I could help you if you want."

"Go see my Mom." Haley nodded and headed towards Karen. For the next half hour, she helped with busing tables and wiping counters. Karen didn't say anything but Haley sensed she was upset with her in some way. Haley couldn't blame her and was grateful she didn't say anything directly to her. When they were finished, Karen made herself scarce as Lucas and Haley took seats on the stools by the counter.

"What happened, Luke? All kinds of things are going around and I don't know what to believe."

"What kinds of things?"

"Why did you guys fight?"

"Why do you think?" Haley began to get frustrated. Obviously Lucas wasn't happy with her judging from the way he was answering a question with another question.

"Well, it could have been about Peyton."

"Are you kidding me, Hales?"

"Then, tell me what happened. Because I'm here Luke. I'm on _your_ side. I haven't talked to Nathan and I don't plan to." Haley could tell this made Lucas feel a little better as he relaxed his shoulders and sat back.

"I let him have it for asking Peyton to prom. I still don't get how he could do that to you, you know? So he was acting like it was nothing, then when I mentioned your name—your name Haley—because I don't think I said it before that—he just came at me like an animal. It's like he owns you or something. Makes me sick." Haley tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Her emotions were all over the place. "Haley, tell me you're not letting him get to you. Tell me you don't feel bad for him." Haley shook her head but was unable to speak, her eyes filling up with tears. "Haley! Stop it! He's a lost cause. I know you grew up with him but he's not a good guy." In her heart, she knew Lucas was wrong but she couldn't bring herself to say it. The truth was, in this case, Nathan wasn't the good guy.

"I know. It still hurts though. I know I have to let it go but I don't know how," Haley finally said softly. Lucas shifted nervously. Haley could tell he was holding something back. "What?"

"I think he has been hooking up with Peyton." Haley shook her head in disbelief as her tears began to stream down her face. Lucas handed her some napkins and continued. "I know that hurts, Hales but maybe you need to hear that to see what an ass he is. I saw them, Haley. I saw them walk into a bedroom and shut the door at the beach house party."

Haley wiped her eyes and looked up. "Okay. Okay," she repeated taking a deep breath and collecting herself. "I'm done. I believe you Luke. You have no reason to lie to me. I know you wouldn't try to hurt me like that."

"I wouldn't, Haley. That's the difference between him and me."

"So what happens now? I mean did you get into any kind of trouble?"

"I got one day out of school suspension. Nathan was supposed to get five days but the word is his dad got it knocked down to one."

"Really? He can do that?"

"He had Mr. West with him."

"I saw them go in. Still…"

"The two of them have some major clout in this town. Whitey called my parents personally to let them know he wasn't happy with this. He was ready to give me Nathan's spot on the team. I wouldn't take it though. I want to earn my own spot, you know?" Haley nodded understanding. "Whatever. I think I'm going to go back down to JV for a bit just until things blow over."

"Luke, why would you let them do that to you?"

"They're not. It was my idea. I just want to enjoy the game. I don't want to deal with all this crap. Plus, varsity will need to pull together if they want to get the championship. Maybe I'll move back up for postseason."

"How are your parents? I kind of get the feeling your mom's not happy with me."

"She's not happy in general about the whole thing. She's fine with you though. I just think she knows that you are tight with Nathan's family and she's in protective mode so don't take it personally."

"I'm not going to tell them anything. Rachel spent the weekend at my house and we didn't even talk about it."

"Well that's kind of weird."

"Not really. Not if you knew that family. Rachel pretty much hates her brother and I actually think she's happy to see him in trouble."

"See, Haley? See how you did that? You're still making him the victim here. He's not in trouble. This is who he is. He did this. And he planned it Haley. He didn't ask Peyton to the prom on accident, you know? And purposely in front of you. Then, I call him out on it and he freaks out. That's not normal. He's got issues and you need to accept the fact that he's a loser." Haley closed her eyes in defeat. She wasn't willing to accept Lucas's words but she didn't want to fight him on this either. No matter what happened, no matter what he said, she did not accept that Nathan was a lost cause. Defending Nathan to Lucas; now that was definitely a lost cause.

* * *

Preview of next chapter 11: "Unbelievable" (Kaci Brown)

AN: So I'm thinking people may not be crazy about this chapter, but I did warn you. Please don't lose interest! I'm hoping readers stick it out and have some trust in me! I'm also not sure what is going on with this website. No hits are showing up on traffic, so I'd love to get some feedback, so feel free to pm me or review (if it let's you!). I am just curious if people are reading and what they are thinking. If you got this far, thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thanks so much to **Pamela** for all her help and support!

Chapter 11: "Unbelievable" (Kaci Brown)

Haley took a deep breath as she walked into the gym with Karen and Keith by her side. They had decided to attend the JV game together in a show of support for Lucas. None of them had expected the varsity game to still be going on. It appeared as if the game was in overtime with only thirty seconds left on the clock. As the stands were packed, they were forced to stand against the wall to the left of the entrance.

Haley watched in horror as the other team fouled Nathan sending the basketball coming right at her. She defensively put her hands up just as Keith extended his hand and caught the ball. As Haley looked up she saw Nathan standing directly in their line of view. Keith stared him down as he tossed the ball to him. Nathan accepted the ball and took his spot at the free throw line.

Haley purposely squeezed out of Nathan's view by standing behind Karen. She could tell by the reaction of the crowd that he missed both shots. A short while later, the final buzzer sounded and the Ravens lost. As the crowd began to shuffle out, she looked over the bench and saw Nathan taking a quick look in her direction before storming off into the locker room.

Haley tried not to feel guilty as they took their seats. Nathan hadn't spoken to her in over two weeks. They had settled into a new routine where neither one acknowledged the other's existence. She and Rachel, on the other hand, had been spending more time than ever together. Mr. James, at Haley's insistence, had been driving her to school, along with Rachel. Haley thought that was pretty stupid, but Rachel had said she was taking a stand for Haley. Rachel had even started waking up early so she could walk over the James' house before school so they didn't have to pick her up. Mr. James seemed confused by the whole thing and chalked it up to teenagers being teenagers.

As the JV boys began their warm ups, Haley noticed Brooke motioning for her to come down. She looked at Karen, who gave her a nod indicating she would save her seat.

Nathan couldn't help but watch her as she came down the bleacher steps. She was obviously trying to be careful as she focused on watching her feet with each step down. Just as she reached the last step, she stumbled a bit and Nathan couldn't help but laugh. Nathan caught himself smiling and remembering everything that happened, let his anger return. Haley and Brooke were engrossed in watching the JV boys. Brooke was pointing and Haley was laughing. Before he knew it, Nathan began walking straight towards them. He didn't have a plan and didn't really want to say anything to them. He just wanted Haley to know he was there. More than that, he wanted her to see him not being affected by her presence, unlike a couple of minutes ago.

As he approached them, Nathan looked Haley straight in the eye. Haley felt like Nathan was looking right through her. His eyes were ice cold and she was unable to read any emotion in them. Except maybe hate. Just as he reached them, Nathan turned and walked out the gym.

"Wow! That was _intense_!" Brooke said as she put her arm around Haley in a show of support. Overall, Brooke had been going out of her way to be nice to her over the past couple of weeks. Haley suspected it was because she felt bad about all her comments about Peyton and Nathan. Peyton, on the other hand, had steered clear of her. This created a divide between the three of them, so Haley had made things easier by just spending most of her time with Rachel.

"He does that all the time. I just wish he would grow up."

"He hasn't talked to you?"

"Not a word. That's fine with me, too. I don't really have anything to say."

"Uhh…I don't know if this helps or not, but he hasn't really talked to Peyton either."

"It doesn't," Haley said flatly.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to bring it up. So anyway, want to go the Rivercourt tonight to hang out?" Haley looked at her nervously. "Peyton won't be there. She and Lucas are even more at odds these days. This whole thing is so crazy! I feel like I lost my best friend and I'm not even sure why." Haley looked down, starting to feel bad. Reading her face, Brooke began, "Haley don't feel bad! That's not what I meant. Let's just get out tonight and have some fun, huh?"

"I actually have plans to meet up with Rachel."

"Well, she can come. She seems pretty cool." Haley thought about it for a minute. In some ways, Brooke and Rachel were similar. She figured they would either love each other or hate each other. She was also pretty sure Lucas wouldn't mind since they were both so anti-Nathan these days.

"I'll check with her. You want to come sit with us? I'm with Lucas' parents." She pointed to where they sat.

"Sure! I love Keith and Karen! Let me go change out of my uniform."

* * *

"What's up, Haley Bob?" Haley contemplated avoiding a talk with her mother, but she knew there would be no point. Her mom could be relentless when she wanted. "It's Nathan isn't it?"

Haley signed. "His birthday is next week."

"What are you going to get him?"

"We haven't talked in over a month. Why would I even bother?"

"Because this is the perfect time to make things right. Be the bigger person, Haley Bob. You have been part of each other's lives for quite a while now. Do you really want that to end?"

"I think it already has, Mom."

"I don't believe that for a second. Look, Haley, your relationship has changed over the years and it will keep changing as you get older. You have to move with change, not against it." Haley looked at her mom trying to process her words. Lydia reached over and began to gently stroke her hair. "Remember what he did for your birthday? He put a lot of time and effort into your gifts. He obviously cares a lot about you."

Haley straightened up. "He has some way of showing it! Do you know he asked Peyton to the prom? He didn't even tell me either!"

"Did he have to? Did he lead you to think he was going to take you?" Haley just looked at her mother. "Listen, Haley, I know things are confusing right now, but you both are so young. You are just trying to find your way. So is he. For whatever reason, Nathan wanted to go with Peyton. Maybe he just isn't ready to be more than friends with you. That may be hard to hear but if you want him in your life, you have to accept that." Haley nodded realizing that her mother was right. Her childhood crush wasn't reciprocated and she was acting immature about the whole thing.

"So you think I should get him something?"

"If you're asking—yes, I do. I'm not going to tell you what to do though Haley. I know you'll make the right decision."

"But what do I get him, Mom? Things are so strained right now. I don't think I can get him something like he gave me."

"Get him something along the lines of what you would get Lucas. You and Lucas are friends. Get him something you would get _a friend_." Haley thought about this and nodded liking the idea.

"Thanks, Mom."

"This isn't over, Haley. You just have to let him work it out right now. Give him space and just be his friend." Haley wasn't sure she could do that, but she already felt a weight being lifted off her shoulders at the idea of being on speaking terms with him again. She couldn't take much more of the hating game they were playing.

* * *

"Hey." Nathan turned around from his locker and was stunned to see Haley standing there.

"Hey." Nathan waited, not able to say much more than that.

"So I got you a birthday present. Here…" Haley handed him a thin square wrapped present. "Happy Birthday." Haley stood there waiting for him to respond but he just stared at her blankly. Deciding she couldn't take it anymore, Haley simply walked away heading toward her first block class.

Nathan turned and faced his locker and opened the gift. It was a Wu-Tang Clan CD. Nathan shoved it into his locker and started to head off to class. Somehow, the fact that Haley had remembered his birthday and actually got him a gift made him feel worse than ever.

* * *

Nathan continued to feel lousy for the rest of the week. The worst part of it was that he was having lousy practices because of it. For a while, he had been able to stuff all his feelings away, but now it seemed like they were coming to the surface and he couldn't push them away any longer. This surprised Nathan since he was accustomed to having to having to deal with his father's antics. Whenever his father belittled him, he used that as a driving force on the field or court. Nathan hadn't mastered that skill with recent events and decided he needed to take action before it ate him up inside.

He walked into Karen's Café and looked around hesitantly. Nathan was happy to see Karen' s initial shock fade as she waved him over.

"What can I do for you, Nathan?" Nathan immediately felt at ease. This could have gone so many ways and he was grateful that Karen was being nice. Technically, she was his aunt, but she was also Lucas' mother and he wouldn't blame her if she reamed him out right then and there.

"Can I talk to you?" Nathan said looking around indicate his desire for some privacy. Karen nodded and walked over to a quiet spot by the end of counter. "I actually came here to apologize to you and your family. I've made some mistakes and I realize that now. I also want you to know that I don't want to turn out like my father. We're different people and I don't carry his grudges."

"You coming here and taking responsibility for your actions is something Dan would never do. Besides, our adult issues should not be your issues and vice-versa. Lucas is the one you need to work this out with."

"Is he here?"

"Let me get him." Karen head into back of the café. She returned a minute with a skeptical Lucas behind her.

Lucas approached Nathan but said nothing. "You want to maybe shoot some hoops? I hear that place you go to, the Rivercourt, is pretty good," Nathan said breaking their silence.

"The last time I went anywhere with you I had to walk five miles back to civilization. I'll pass."

"Lucas…" Karen chided him from behind the counter. Lucas rolled his eyes at his mother.

"Fine. Mom, call Dad if I'm not back in an hour."

After they turned the corner from the café, Lucas didn't hesitate to lay into Nathan. "What's this about, Nathan? What's your angle? Because if you expect me to believe for one minute—"

"Calm down! There's no angle here. I'm not the guy you think I am. I'm just trying to make things right here."

"Why now? After all these years?"

"Because I really want to win states. And I may need your help to do that."

"So this is all about basketball?"

"No," Nathan admitted.

"Then what, Nathan?"

"Well, I hate my father okay? And I just realized that I've been acting like him all along. Freezing you out and taking punches at you—that's his style. I let my emotions cloud my actions. So, I'm sorry about that. Look, I don't expect us to be cousins or even friends, but maybe we could be teammates?"

"What about Haley?"

"I don't want to talk about Haley," Nathan muttered.

"So this has nothing to with trying to win her back or whatever the hell you two have going on?"

"No. We leave her out of this. In fact, I don't want her to know I talked to you."

"Really?"

"Really." Nathan and Lucas turned to face each other as they walked onto the Rivercourt. "Game to 15. Make it, take it. Win by one. Winner gets what they want."

"Let's do this."

* * *

"Wait until you see Lucas in his new uniform!" Brooke said as she greeted Haley in class.

Haley turned to Lucas and beamed. "Is that what I think it means?"

Lucas shrugged but couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. I'm officially on the postseason roster. I think I may actually get some playing time too. We've been working on some new drills and they're going pretty good."

"What position?"

"Shooting guard," Lucas answered looking away. Haley stiffened. That was Nathan's position. She tried not think about how upset Nathan must be, and instead focused on Lucas.

"That's great," Haley said trying to sound enthusiastic.

"You're going to come, right?"

"I don't think I can make it. It's away right?"

"Yeah, but won't your father take you? Or you could get a ride with my parents."

"I can't. I have too many appointments at the Tutor Center." Haley felt guilty about lying to him. She just couldn't bring herself to watch Nathan lose his position to Lucas. It was just too much for her to handle, knowing the pain he must be in.

* * *

"You should have been there! It was a blowout! Now we have home advantage for the next round. No excuses this time," Lucas said pointedly at Haley.

Haley had heard all about the big win in just about every class. She actually found herself regretting her decision not to go. This was reaffirmed when she saw Nathan smiling in the hallway. In fact, when he caught her eye, he held his smile and nodded slightly at her. Haley was confused but managed to smile back.

"I'll be there. Thursday, right?"

"Yup. Then we are probably going to my mom's café."

Haley looked at him surprised. "No big wild party?"

"No way. I'm not willing to risk getting caught and kicked off the team. Not at this point."

"Well, sounds cool." Haley noticed Peyton looking over at them from her seat. She knew that Peyton had heard everything. Peyton turned around when she and Haley made eye contact. "Hey, Peyton!" Peyton turned back around. "Why don't you come out with us after the game on Thursday?" Haley tried to ignore the daggers radiating towards her from Lucas.

"Are you sure?" Peyton asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. We need to catch up anyway."

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?" Lucas had barely waited for the final bell of the school day before descending upon her.

"What? What's the big deal?" Haley said not bothering to pretend not know what he was pissed about.

"How would you like it if I invited Nathan? Would you like that?"

"Huh! Like that would ever happen. Plus there is a big difference between Nathan and me and you and Peyton."

"Oh yeah? And what is that?"

"I have feelings for Nathan. Real feelings that I'm trying to let go of. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting close. How about you, Lucas? You have feelings for Peyton? Is that why you don't want to be around her?"

Lucas shifted his backpack. Haley smirked at him letting him know she had him. "Fine. I guess it shouldn't bother me. But I didn't think you wanted her around either."

"I don't really care anymore. She lied to me. Whatever. She obviously really likes Nathan. I know I told her we were just friends so maybe I mislead her and she panicked and lied. I just want to move beyond this stupid teenage drama. We all need to grow up."

"Well, this should be interesting."

Haley hit him on the arm. "Just focus on winning your game, would you? I want the after-party to be a happy one!"

* * *

"That's pretty good teamwork out there, huh? It's nice to see the boys put their issues aside for the team," Jimmy said leaning over to Haley.

Haley didn't respond. She had been in a state of shock the entire game. She hadn't taken her eyes off of Nathan, trying to really study his eyes. Haley had to admit her father was right. The only thing she was able to identify in his eyes was focus. There didn't seem to be any hint of jealousy or malice towards Lucas. In addition, he had passed Lucas the ball many times and even talked to him during one of the time outs. It was a very tight game though so Haley just figured this was all to reach their shared goal of the win.

Along with the crowd, Haley braced at the final shot of the game. The Ravens were down by two. A three pointer would secure the win. Nathan was being double-teamed was forced to pass the ball to an open Lucas. Lucas took his shot and the ball teetered on the rim, but didn't make it in the basket. Haley closed her eyes, not wanting to see the team, and especially Nathan's reaction. When she opened her eyes, she blinked in disbelief. Nathan walked over to Lucas and patted him on the back before heading into the locker room. Lucas continued to stand there for a minute longer before heading in as well.

* * *

"How are you doing?" Haley said putting her arm around Lucas. He seemed like he was fine, but Haley wasn't sure if he was just putting up a front. Brooke and Peyton were there along with Bevin, Theresa, Anna, Skills, Mouth, Fergie and Junk. Rachel had tagged along as well which had been the norm lately. Brooke and she had hit it off to say the least, especially with their love for shopping. This made Haley happy, as it made her life a lot easier.

"I'm fine." Haley looked at him skeptically. "Really." Lucas paused for a minute looking toward the café doors. "Are you feeling bad for me right now, Hales?"

"A little bit—"

"Hold on to that feeling for me, Hales." Lucas patted her on the back and walked towards the doors.

Haley's mouth dropped as she saw Nathan's hand meet Lucas's in some type of guy handshake. Jake Jagielski was with him. Haley only knew him slightly and didn't seem to mind him. She had always wished Nathan hung out with him more instead of Tim and Damien. Nathan had suggested that Jake spent most of his time with his girlfriend. This girlfriend did not go to Tree Hill High and Haley tried to block out the time she met her when they were caught in Nathan's bed during her birthday party. Nathan looked at her hesitantly before taking a seat at a table with Jake.

Lucas walked back toward Haley and smiled brightly. "You were right, Haley. I'm sick of this teenage drama. It's time _we all just grow up_," Lucas said snidely. Haley narrowed her eyes at him before turning her back to him.

* * *

"We just got outplayed, plain and simple. Not bad for your first year though, Luke. Nothing to be ashamed about," Jake said as Lucas joined them.

Nathan nodded in agreement. "There's always next year. We have to really work on our 'd."

"Defense wins championships," Lucas added in agreement.

Nathan zoned out on the conversation as Jake and Lucas replayed some of the key events of the game. He looked over at Haley debating whether to go over and talk to her. Most of the night she had been chatting with various people, but now she was by herself refilling some bowls of food.

Nathan felt Lucas looking at him and looked away embarrassed. When he looked back, Lucas gave him a slight nod towards Haley. This was the push he needed to get up and head over.

"Need any help?"

"I'm good," Haley said continuing to empty a bag of pretzels into one of the bowls.

"I, uh, didn't get to thank you for my birthday present."

"It was nothing," Haley said without looking up. Haley was even surprised at herself for her attitude. Just the fact that he was in Karen's Café alone, never mind getting along with Lucas, should have been enough to please her. Instead, she was aggravated to be forced to deal with him, especially since she was unprepared to do so. Haley took a deep breath realizing that none of this was his fault. He was obviously really trying here. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah, I did. Look, could we maybe go somewhere and talk?" Haley felt conflicted as her eyes met his. Not being able to resist him, Haley nodded and followed him outside.

"I want the chance to explain some things to you—"

"Don't," Haley said closing her eyes and leaning back against the café storefront. Nathan looked at her and stopped. He waited for her to continue. "I can't. I just can't. I don't want to. I don't want to hear anything you have to say."

"But Haley—"

"Please, Nathan. You don't owe me any explanations. We weren't together and I was being immature. I had some schoolgirl crush on you but that's over now. I don't want to have those feelings anymore."

"You are one of the most mature people I know!—"

"I wasn't being like that then and I don't want to be like that anymore." Haley's voice began to rise. "You told me this would happen! I didn't listen! I was so stupid!"

"Don't say that, Haley." Nathan reached over to stroke her cheek but Haley turned her face away.

"You can't do that. If this is going to work, we need to be real friends. That's it. Like me and Lucas."

Nathan shook his head at her and scoffed. Then he looked at Haley and saw tears brimming in her wide brown eyes. He cleared his throat and began, "I didn't mean to hurt you, Haley."

"But you did," Haley said looking right at him. Nathan took a deep breath, unable to hide the effect of her words. "I'm not saying that's your fault. I let it happen. But I won't let it happen again." Nathan nodded as he shifted his feet and looked down.

"Okay, then. So what happens now?"

"We stop ignoring each other."

"Can we hang out?"

"No," Haley said quickly. Reading the disappointment in his face, she explained "I can't handle that right now. Maybe eventually…"

"Alright," Nathan said swallowing hard. He knew he should be feeling better, but he couldn't help but be miserable. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and let her know how wrong she was. Nathan also knew this would be the purely selfish. If he really wanted to make up for hurting her, he needed to let her go. It killed him to do it, but he turned around and held the door open for her to walk back into the café. Their conversation was over, and Nathan felt like their relationship was too.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "If Only" (Hanson)

**AN:** I'd love some feedback from you on one nonessential plot point- in the end Brucas or Leyton? I could go either way in terms of my writing. I am writing chapter 23 now and I need to set the seeds for the ending (and sequel) so I'd like to make up my mind soon. I am 100% Naley, and so is this story so I don't have any strong opinion about either option. A couple of things to keep in mind-Brucas would mean no Julian. It would also mean I would write for Jeyton. Also, right now I now most of you are all probably anti-Peyton but I was writing her as an early S1 superficial Peyton; in this case she was a freshmen girl excited at the prospect of being asked to prom by a hot jock. I am hoping to give her some more depth to get her to S4 Peyton. I'm not sure I can do that, but I am going to try. I just won't let it take the focus off of my intended story. So, I'd love to hear if it matters to you! You can vote in reviews or pm me if you want to chat and bounce some ideas around!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It means so much! Enjoy- you have a couple of good chapters coming up that I hope/think you will like!


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

**AN**: Special thanks to **Pamela** for her continued help with this story!

Chapter 12: "If Only" (Hanson)

"Are you ready? It's just one night and my house is right down the street! What could you possibly be packing?" Rachel called from the bottom of the stairs.

"What's the big rush? I'm just trying to find my brush," Haley yelled from her bedroom which was right at the top of the stairs.

"I have one you can borrow. Can we just go already?"

"You are so impatient!" Haley said as she started down the stairs, carrying her duffel bag.

Rachel and Haley headed out the door and began walking towards the Scott's house. Along the way they argued on which movies they would watch that night. In the end, Rachel gave in, much to Haley's surprise. Haley had been worried that once Rachel noticed her talking to Nathan again, even though it was all small talk, her bitchy attitude would return. Instead, Rachel went to great lengths to convince Haley to sleepover her house that night. It was prom night and the last thing Haley wanted was to run into Nathan. Rachel promised that wouldn't happen since they were all meeting at Damien's house for pictures. Haley agreed, happy to have a distraction from all the prom drama.

Haley suddenly stopped dead in her tracks once the Scott's house came into view. "Why is there a limo at your house?"

"I guess they haven't left yet."

"They?" Haley said angrily. "Is that why you were in such a rush? You lied to me!"

"No, I didn't! Well, I kind of just didn't tell you that the plans changed," Rachel said out of the side of her mouth.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because my parents want me in some pictures with Nathan. And you should be in them too. You're like one of the family."

Haley looked down at herself. She felt gross in her jeans and t-shirt with her hair held back in a messy bun. "There is no way I am going to be in a picture with him. Don't you remember what happened?"

"Yeah, but you got over that. Or so I thought. Look, Hales, years from now this will all be something we laugh at. But you will regret it if don't get in the pictures."

Haley was mad, but she wanted to be mature about this as well. "Alright, but this is going to be so awkward."

* * *

Haley knew as soon as she saw them it was a bad idea. Nathan was wearing a tux of course, with a blue vest and tie that matched his eyes perfectly. It also matched Peyton's strapless gown. Haley hated to admit it, not even bothering to pretend she wasn't jealous, but Peyton looked gorgeous. It was when they began posing for photos that Haley began to lose her cool. The group shots were one thing, but when Nathan stood with his arms around Peyton, who was radiantly smiling, that was when she fled the scene.

Nathan saw her leave. In fact, he hadn't really been able to take his eyes off of her. He didn't expect her to be there, but figured it was a good sign. Maybe things would start to get to get back to normal, whatever that was. Anything would be better than the last couple of weeks. At least when they were fighting, Nathan had faith that they would make up. Now, their superficial and casual relationship was almost unbearable. He just didn't know how to be so indifferent with her, how to not show how felt about her and really talk to her like he'd always been able to.

The look on her face when she walked off alerted him that there was something off. He wasn't sure what, but he had a sinking feeling she didn't come to see him off to prom as a sign of friendship.

"Nathan! Can I get just one shot of you smiling?" Deb called out. After a couple of more clicks, Deb looked around. "Okay, family shots. Oh and Haley too. Where's Haley?"

"I'll go get her," Nathan said quickly heading towards the house.

"Wait—Nathan! You need to be—"Nathan was inside the house before could hear the rest.

"Haley? Haley?" Nathan called out as he walked through the living room and down the hallway. When he saw the bathroom door closed, he knocked gently. "Haley?"

"Yeah. I'm here. I'll be out soon."

"Okay. We're ready for pictures and I have to leave so—"

"It's okay. I don't need to be in them."

"Haley, I really want you to be. I'll wait for you."

"No. Just go. Have fun and go."

"Please, Haley…."

Haley opened the door suddenly but stood in the doorway, not moving. She looked directly at him. Her eyes were slightly red, but Nathan couldn't be sure if she was crying. The look in her eyes was not sadness, but more of determination. Nathan began to lift his hand toward her face, but forced himself to stop. He wanted to reach out and touch her so badly but he knew he couldn't.

"I can't," Haley said flatly.

"Okay…"

"Not just pictures, Nate. _I can't_ be at your house like this when you're home. _I can't_ chat with you in school like I do with Anna. _I can't pretend anymore_." Nathan looked at her dead on, not wanting her to continue, but also hoping he wasn't hearing her right. Her serious tone and the focus in her eyes were startling. "_I can't_ be friends with you, Nathan. _I can't_ even be around you. _I don't want to be_."

Nathan was at a loss for words. Haley couldn't have been clearer but everything seemed hazy and out of focus.

"Nathan! Get your ass out here right now!" Dan called from the living room. Nathan decided in his current state, it was best just to follow orders. He turned around and headed back outside.

* * *

As Haley lay in bed that night in the guest room, she began to get upset with herself. She had zoned out for the rest of the evening on Rachel and eventually just headed off to bed before their movie marathon was over, claiming not to feel well. In truth, she didn't feel well but it was because her mind was racing.

Haley kept looking at the clock and her mind immediately went to Nathan and Peyton. She imagined them getting their professional shots, dancing, being named part of the prom court, maybe even king or queen. Now it was 1:00 a.m. and her stomach started to turn. The prom was surely over now, the limo gone, and the party in full gear. From listening to conversations she knew they were all headed to the West's beach house for the night. They were, of course, all spending the night. That is why Haley had agreed to spend the night at the Scott's in the first place. Even then, she knew she didn't want to be around Nathan. After her outburst, she now knew it wouldn't happen anyway. She saw the look in his eyes; he knew she meant what she said. Still, her heart and her head were in two totally different places and Haley couldn't seem to reconcile them. In addition, with the thoughts she was having, it seemed as if her heart was winning the battle.

Haley sat straight up when she heard a soft knock at her door. Haley looked at door expecting to find Rachel in some type of erratic state. Instead, Haley froze as the door opened. She just stared at him trying to figure out if she was dreaming.

He stood there in his black dress pants, dress shirt untucked with the sleeves rolled up, vest still on but the tie gone, and his shoes off.

"Haley." Nathan said her name so clearly that she began to panic that this was in fact real and not a dream. She immediately turned over onto her side so her back was towards him. Haley closed her eyes tight and tried to imagine him away.

"Haley, I need to talk to you."

"Just leave. I want you to leave." Haley tried to believe the words as she said them.

Haley heard the door close and the tears began streaming down her face. She was about to launch into a full outright sob when she felt a slight movement on the bed. Haley froze again. She didn't need to turn over to know Nathan had taken a seat there.

"Haley, I know what you said but I just need to….tell you something. Some things, I guess. Are you listening, Hales?"

Haley kept her back towards him, not willing to move. She had a feeling that he already felt bad for her and she didn't want him to see her crying and feel even worse. Haley did not want to be his personal pity case.

She heard him take a deep breath before continuing. "I shouldn't have taken Peyton to prom. It was miserable and I'm pretty sure Peyton won't ever speak to me again. She did seem to hit it off with Jake though…" Haley now felt even worse. She hadn't meant to ruin his night! Embarrassed beyond belief, she began crying again, but was careful to stifle her sobs. "I'm sorry, Hales. I really am. I didn't want things to turn out like this. I'm not sure if I can handle it."

Haley was unable to hold back any longer at his last words as her guilt consumed her. He was apologizing to her but she felt like it was her who hurt him! Haley's sobs escaped from her mouth and her shoulders began to shake.

"I'm so sorry. I can't take it when you cry. I won't make you cry like this again, I promise," Nathan said, his voice cracking.

Suddenly she relaxed as Nathan's arms squeezed around her waist. Haley stopped crying and took in his touch. He was holding her tight with his head buried in her hair and she could feel his chest against her back. They lay like that for a couple of minutes before Nathan pulled back.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you, Hales. Please look at me. You need to look in my eyes and see how sorry I am."

Haley turned around but shook her head at him, not able to look directly at him. She wasn't able to resist his touch though and let his arms wrap back around her. "No, Nathan. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your night. It was stupid and selfish."

"Haley, would you look at me?" Nathan commanded. "Look at me!" Haley shut her eyes tight, gathering her strength before opening them again to meet his. His eyes were searching hers, as they scanned back and forth. "This was all my fault. I should have told you I was going to ask Peyton and I should have told you why. I tried to, but…I just couldn't. Then, I was going to tell you on Valentine's Day. You have to believe me when I tell you that you were not supposed to be in that class. The snow day fucked it all up. But, I need to tell you why, Haley because I don't think you get it. _I don't think you understand how I feel about you_."

Nathan began to stroke her face, using his thumb to wipe the tears off her face. Haley closed her eyes, taking in the tender feel of his hand as it moved on back and forth across her cheek, now pushing the strands of her hair off her wet face. She opened them again and tried not to get completely lost in his searing blue eyes.

"I was stupid. I thought it would be better if you didn't go to prom. I didn't want you around Damien, not after what happened at homecoming. I had myself convinced Peyton could deal with the guys better from cheering and all, and then I would take you to senior prom. That's the big one anyway. But that was a mistake because _you were the only wanted I wanted to be with tonight_. _I need you, Hales_. And I know that's selfish…but there it is…._I want you_. _I need you_." Nathan paused briefly trying to gauge her reaction. "Please, give me another chance. Please, don't shut me out."

Haley tried to fight the lump forming in her throat. She was not only moved by his words, but by his touch and the way he was looking at her. She still felt confused about everything however, and wasn't quite willing to let her guard down yet.

"I just don't understand why you lied to me," Haley finally said.

"I didn't lie, Haley. I just kept things from you."

"No, you lied. You told me you didn't hook up with Peyton. She lied to me too, but it just hurt so much more coming from you. You never lied to me before. At least not that I know of."

"I didn't! I haven't! I didn't Haley. Not then, not ever. I haven't even looked at anyone since we you walked into the high school that first day."

"Did you take her into a bedroom?" Haley purposely left out it Lucas who had told her this.

"Only as I gave her a tour of the house. I was trying to find the trophy room. Damien's beach house is setup is like ours, although it's a lot bigger and the rooms are confusing. We went into one room cut through the bathroom, and went out another room. Nothing happened. Nothing," Nathan said with certainty.

Haley thought about it and realized this made sense. She also realized that Rachel had probably exaggerated about making out the night of the auction. The night was supposed to end with a kiss, per action rules. _If_ she saw anything, it was probably just that. Haley decided not to bring that up, not wanting to create any unnecessary drama between the siblings. "I believe you. I'm sorry though, Nathan. This was not all you. I'm sorry I shut you out. We should have talked this out."

"That's not it, Haley." Nathan leaned into her letting his forehead touch hers. "I don't want to just talk this out. I want to be with you. _You're it for me_." Haley pulled back surprised at his words. Nathan just smiled back at her. "_I'm going to marry you, Haley_, and I thought maybe we were too young for this right now and it would all come together later. I don't know. Maybe I just didn't give it much thought about when or how, but now I don't care. I just don't want to wait anymore," Nathan said softly. "_I want this now_."

Haley smiled back at him and shook her head in surprise. Her heart had melted and she knew there would be no going back now. Nathan's lips meet hers in soft kiss that quickly turned intense. Their bodies crashed against each other as they let their desires and all their bottled up feelings out. Nathan was the one to pull away as he shifted his body away from hers, but rested his forehead against hers again.

"I missed you," Nathan whispered, moving his mouth to her ear.

Haley felt a tingling in her body. "I missed you, too," she whispered back. They settled into each other's arms moving so they could see each other again.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Nathan had done most of the talking and now wanted to hear from her.

"I'm just surprised. I thought that you just felt bad for me. Like I was some kid who had a crush on you and you just put up with me because of what happened all those years ago."

"And now?" Nathan raised his eyebrow at her. He wanted to be sure she had understood what he said.

"Now, you say you are going to marry me!" Nathan laughed.

"Of course that's all you heard! You are such a girl!"

"You're the one who said it!"

"I know I did," Nathan said lightly kissing her forehead. "So what do you think?" Haley's eyes widened at him and Nathan responded quickly, realizing how that might have sounded. "I'm not proposing Hales! Maybe in like ten years, but not now! I just want to know if we're on the same page, you know. Tell me how you feel about me. I can take it."

Haley relaxed back into his arms. "I've always had what I thought was a crush on you and maybe I kind of dreamed we'd get married and have kids and all that..." Haley's cheeks began to redden at her admission as Nathan smirked at her. "…but I know now that's not just a crush. I feel so close to you and I want to stay this way."

"There's just one thing, Haley," Nathan said becoming serious. "I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it all up somehow. We're so young and I feel like I'm going blow my chances with you now and lose you forever. That's the only reason I held back in the first place. I wasn't sure I was ready for this right now."

"And now?"

"I think I am. Especially if the alterative is not having you in my life. But you have to be patient with me. I'm gonna screw up; I can guarantee it. Please just promise you won't stop talking to me forever."

Haley laughed. "Forever, Nathan? You really think that could happen? There's nothing you do that would make me never talk to you again!" Haley paused for a moment. She scrunched up her face and placed his hand firmly on his chest. "Except cheat on me. I can't deal with betrayal."

Nathan smiled. "I get that. I wouldn't do that anyway."

"Okay, then."

"Yeah?" Nathan looked at Haley beaming. His smiled faded as he saw Haley biting her lip. "What? What is it?" Haley hesitated. "If this is going to work Hales, you need to tell me everything, even if it's going to hurt me."

"No…it's just…I wasn't expecting this. You really caught me off-guard." Haley looked up at him and saw the disappointment in his eyes. "In a good way," she affirmed.

"But?" Nathan interrupted.

"But….I still don't know if it's a good idea to put this all out there for the world to see. I mean, we have to think about Rachel."

"I am so sick of having to think about Rachel," Nathan said raising his hands to his forehead in frustration.

"It's not just her though. See, my parents are taking some cross country RV trip to see my brothers and sisters for the first half of summer. I'm not going to go because I already promised Karen I would help out at the café while she goes to cooking school in Italy. I'm supposed to stay with your family while my parents are gone."

"So?" Nathan said confused. He hadn't realized he had missed so much of what was going on with Haley while they weren't talking.

"Well, Rachel would just think I was using her to be around you if she knew there was something going on with us. You know how she is…" Nathan rolled his eyes at her. Haley continued "…and I don't think my parents would be crazy about it if I stayed with your family if we were dating."

"Your parents are not the strict type, Haley. You really think they would care?"

"Yeah, I do. Taylor really did a number on them and I'm paying the price. She just had another pregnancy scare and my parents sat me down and had a long sex talk that was more like a lecture." Nathan laughed picturing it in his head. "That's not it." Haley waited until he was looking back at her before she continued. "They specifically referred to_ you_ during said talk."

Nathan's eyes widened. "You're kidding. We haven't spoken in months. Not really anyway."

"I know, but my mom kept saying that.." Haley began to mimic her parents as she spoke "—'things had changed between us and would keep changing as we got older' and blah, blah, blah. I was so mad at you then that I blocked out whatever else she said. But my dad really made it clear that I was to 'tell them when things changed back' and that 'we would need to set some ground rules' then."

"Wow! I had no idea," Nathan said with a sign.

"It's been really fun in the James house recently," Haley said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, Haley," Nathan said as he squeezed her.

"See that's the thing, Nate. Rachel was. She's been over all of the time and with all the recent Taylor drama, she's been so great. I just don't think I can repay her by letting her think I was just replacing you with her."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Haley, but isn't that what you did?"

"No! I don't know. Why can't I have both of you?" Haley said exasperated.

"It's not me, Haley. If I know you're with me, how you feel about me, and I feel the same way, it doesn't bother me who you're friends with." Haley noticed that he was leaving room for Lucas in that equation.

Haley sat up a bit, leaning on her elbow. "Okay. So you know how I feel now right? We're both being honest about that now?" Haley looked at him waiting for confirmation. Nathan nodded. "So since it's Rachel who has the problem, why can't we just her ease into this? Not throw her into it. Let's just keep how we feel about each other from her—and my parents—for a little bit longer."

"I don't know, Hales. That didn't seem to work out so well last time."

"That's because we weren't being honest with each other. And we were keeping things from each other. As long as we don't do that again, and keep things private, it would be so much easier on everyone." Nathan considered this for a moment as he propped himself on his elbow so he was eye level with her again.

"Did you know I go into High Flyers?" Haley smiled and shook her head. "Well, I did. So I'm actually going to be gone to Florida for most of the summer. It's an eight week program and then I go right to football camp when I get back. So I'm not really going to be around anyway."

"Oh," Haley said unable to hide her disappointment.

"But I'll be around for the first week and a half of summer. So it shouldn't be too hard to hide things if we wanted to?"

Haley smiled at him and crept back into his arms and they lay back down. "See? Then, we could start the school year on a totally new note."

"I like the sound of that…" Nathan's voice trailed off as his lips met hers. Both Haley and Nathan seemed determined to show each other how they felt as their kisses became more passionate. Nathan shifted slightly so he was leaning over her as Haley's hands moved up to his hair. This time, it was Nathan's tongue that entered Haley's mouth. A slight moan escaped from Haley before she returned the favor. Haley suddenly stiffened as she felt Nathan's hands move down the side of her body. Nathan noticed her reaction and quickly pulled away. He leaned back to his side and took his hands from her body so they were no longer touching.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away," Nathan said quietly.

"It's okay. I was just surprised. I just started to get a weird feeling." Nathan got up from the bed.

"I shouldn't have—"

"Nathan! Please stay. I'm not ready for much more than that, but I don't want you go."

"I don't want to pressure you, Hales. We're both not ready for that. I just don't want to get carried away again and make you feel like you have to—"

"I have a voice, Nathan and I'm not afraid to use it. I won't let it get that far." Haley took a deep breath noticing he wasn't moving. "I just want you to hold me, Nathan. Please. Just put your arms around me so I can fall asleep knowing this wasn't all some dream."

Nathan smiled realizing he wanted the same thing. "Okay. Just let me go take a shower and change."

"Promise you'll come back?"

"You can trust me, Haley. I'll never lie to you." Haley smiled as he quietly left the room. She was grateful for a little time to herself to gather her thoughts. The more she poured over the events, the more excited she became. Haley felt like things were finally starting to come together. They had some things to work out, but as long as they were honest with each other, she knew they would be okay. Rachel was still going to be an issue though. She was more confident than ever that Rachel had manipulated her when it came to Nathan. Haley decided she would be more careful in the future and definitely not trust anything Rachel had to say about Nathan.

Haley had barely enough time to recoup before Nathan gently slid in the door. He was wearing his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. As he climbed into bed, Haley could smell his soap and shampoo.

"Mmmm. You smell so clean!"

"Okay. Turn on your side, Haley. This is never gonna last if I'm thinking about kissing you again."

"Hey! Don't I get a goodnight kiss?" Haley said with a smirk.

"You are trouble. Only if this means I can still sneak kisses after tonight."

"You better!"

Not able to wait any longer, Haley snuggled into Nathan's arm and began to kiss him softly. Nathan returned the kisses, but fought to keep them nice and slow. When Haley began to push harder, he pulled back and smiled brightly at her as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"You are a troublemaker. Okay, you got your kiss. Now turn before I change my mind," Nathan said gently pushing her away.

Haley complied as they both turned on their sides and Nathan pulled up against her back. Once his hands slid around her waist, Haley grabbed them, locking their fingers together.

"I love it when you get aggressive like that," Nathan said huskily. Haley was happy that he could not see her cheeks reddening. Nathan, knowing her all too well, didn't need to see her to know she was probably blushing.

"So tell me about prom," Haley said, not ready to go to sleep just yet.

"Nothing to tell. I was miserable. I wouldn't even dance with Peyton and she got pissed and ended up with Jake."

"What happened to Jake's girlfriend?" Haley suddenly recalled that Jake was by himself for pictures earlier.

"I don't know. Guess she bailed on Jake last minute. He was pretty torn up about it. Then, he seemed to get over it when he started dancing with Peyton. That was fine with me."

"Why didn't you go to the party?"

Nathan laughed. "Because I had to talk to you! You dork!"

Haley began to try and turn to face him, but Nathan squeezed her tight not allowing her to move. "Nathan!"

"What did I tell you? Keep your lips away from mine, troublemaker." Haley laughed softly.

"I just wanted to tell you I was sorry I ruined your prom."

"You didn't. You made my prom night better than I could have imagined."

"Well, then start thinking about senior prom," Haley said teasingly.

"I haven't officially asked you yet so you better be on your best behavior. Now let me get some sleep before I am forced to kiss you again."

"I wouldn't mind that."

"Haley…"

"Fine. I just want you to stay with your arms around me like this."

Nathan shifted up and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. "That's all you're getting from me."

"That's enough," Haley said closing her eyes.

Nathan and Haley didn't fall asleep for a long time after that. Both seemed determined to make up for lost time and wanted to catch up on each other's lives. Nathan had asked about the drama in the James family and Haley wanted to hear Nathan talk about the rest of basketball season. She was still confused about his change in attitude toward Lucas. All Nathan would say is that they needed to work together for the team. He hoped next season would be better with Lucas on the team from the start. Then Nathan made Haley tell him about all the people she was tutoring. He was amazed at her patience and couldn't believe how she was a freshman tutoring some upperclassmen. Haley knew from Rachel the Scotts were fighting again and so she let Nathan vent to her about that as well. They agreed that Rachel seemed to be holding up well and were happy to see her away from her old friends and hanging out with Haley, Brooke and their crew instead.

Neither one remembered falling asleep but they obviously had by the time the sun began peaking in through the curtains. Nathan opened his eyes surprised to see their positions had changed. He was on his back, with Haley snuggled on her side, now facing him, with her head on his chest. He began to absentmindedly pat her head causing her to stir. Haley looked up at Nathan and couldn't help but smile. His hair was messy which made him look very cute to her so early in the morning. She reached up and began to run her fingers through it, smoothing it out.

"Good morning," Nathan whispered.

"Good morning," Haley whispered still smiling. She hadn't slept much and was exhausted but her adrenaline was already going, remembering last night.

"I should go," Nathan said not moving. Haley knew he was right but gave him a severe pout anyway.

Nathan gave her a forceful kiss, forcing her on her back and then promptly took the opportunity to get up.

"Hey!" Haley proclaimed a little too loudly.

"Haley. Shhhh. My mom would kill me if she caught us like this." He didn't need to say it, but they both were thinking of Rachel as well.

"Okay. We'll talk later?"

"Of course we will. Maybe I'll stop by your house. I haven't seen your parents in a while and you mom owes me a home cooked dinner from my birthday."

"Rachel, Brooke and I are going shopping so don't come until later."

"I said I wanted to see your parents, Haley. Who cares if you're home?" Nathan said flashing her a smirk before heading out the door.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "Dirty Little Secret" (All American Rejects)

AN: Thank you for all the kind reviews, support and suggestions!


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thank you to **Pamela**, especially for all advice for this chapter!

Chapter 13: "Dirty Little Secret" (All American Rejects)

"Haley! Wake up! Nathan is making breakfast and my mom's going to drive us to the mall."

Haley groaned at the pitch of Rachel's voice as she screamed into the guest room. She looked at the clocked and jumped up realizing it was already noon.

"Holy shit!"

"Did you just swear?" Rachel said laughing.

"Shut up, Rachel. I do swear you know. Why did you let me sleep so late?" Haley said irritated.

"You weren't feeling well last night so I thought you could use the rest. Do you feel okay now?"

Haley bit her lip anxiously as she thought back to the night before, and even early this morning. "Yeah, I'm good," Haley said thinking of Nathan.

"Good, because Brooke is expecting us. She's going to meet us there. Get moving, girl!"

Haley began to shuffle about both excited and nervous at the prospect of seeing Nathan. She took a quick shower, got dressed and was standing in front of the mirror fiddling with her hair when Rachel returned. Haley knew she was taking too long for Rachel's liking, but she wanted to look nice. She wasn't happy with her clothes, but it was all she had, so she was going to have to make sure the rest of her looked okay.

"Come on, already! Who are you trying to impress anyway?"

"No one," Haley said quickly. "Can you give me a French braid?" Haley knew Rachel loved doing her hair and wouldn't be able to resist.

"Ughh! Sit down! It's going to be quick."

"Thanks," Haley said sitting down on the bed.

"There," Rachel said as she finished. "I already ate but Nathan has some pancakes for you in the kitchen." Rachel got up and walked towards the door. "Don't ask. I don't know what he's doing here so just go with it. I'm hoping Peyton kicked him to the curb." Haley was happy that Rachel had jumped the gun and explained his presence. She hadn't acted surprised like she should have but luckily Rachel hadn't noticed. Haley was beginning to think keeping things secret was going to be harder than she thought. "I'm going to call Brooke. Go eat!" Rachel ordered.

Haley walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen. Nathan's back was to her as he stood over the stove holding a spatula.

"Morning, sleepy head," Nathan said without turning around. Haley smiled as she took a seat on one of the kitchen stools. "Hope you had a good night's sleep."

"It was okay," Haley said teasingly.

Nathan put the pancakes on the plate and brought it over to Haley. He was dressed in a red track suit and sneakers. "That's too bad. I couldn't seem to sleep myself. I was so wound up that I've been up for hours. Already went for a run, shot some hoops and now I'm just looking for something else to do," Nathan said smirking.

Haley looked down to focus intensely on her pancakes. It was good timing since Rachel had just walked in and she already looked pissed.

"Brooke already left!"

"What?" Haley asked.

"Yeah, she left. She was supposed to wait for me to call. Now I can't get in touch with her!"

"So? We'll find her when we get there."

"My mom just left to go the bank. I don't know when she's going to be back."

"I'll drive you," Nathan offered.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" Rachel shot back at him.

"I had a good night last night, okay? Want the details, Rach?"

"You are such a loser! How can you be so insensitive with Haley sitting right here?"

"Me? I'm the one who's insensitive? You're the one who—"

Haley's head went back and forth as argued. Not wanting it to go any further; she stood up, getting their attention. "I'm right here you know! Rachel, I'm happy that Nathan had a good night. I'm over it. Let him drive us. Nathan, spare us the details please. And you were a jerk for saying that!" Haley shot him a look letting him know she meant her words.

"Fine," Rachel said. "Let me get my purse."

"What was that?" Haley said after Rachel was out of earshot.

"What? I offered to take you to the mall. Why are you defending her?" Nathan asked incredulously.

"I'm not! You didn't have to bring up last night." Nathan looked at her and shrugged.

"It was the truth, Hales. I don't like lying."

"You said that on purpose! There's a difference!" Haley stopped as she heard Rachel coming back down the stairs. She pointed at him squarely letting him know the conversation was not over.

* * *

Haley was grateful that Rachel and Nathan had behaved on the ride over. Nathan dropped them off the at the mall entrance where they found Brooke. Both of them were surprised to see Peyton with them. Rachel put her arm around Haley, in a show of support. Rachel obviously expected her to be upset with Peyton about prom. Haley knew she had to act fast before this all blew up in her face.

"Hey, Brooke. Hey, Peyton. I didn't know you were going to be here. Maybe we could talk?" Haley said quickly taking charge.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. I need to apologize to Peyton for being weird yesterday. I'm sure you and Brooke can amuse yourselves in this place."

"We sure can!" Brooke said dragging Rachel away. "Meet us in Victoria's Secret."

Peyton looked at her nervously and fiddled with a curl. "Tell me he talked to you."

Haley realized that Peyton knew a lot more than she anticipated. "He did," Haley admitted, feeling relieved to have someone to confide in.

Peyton let out a sign of relief. "And?"

"I think we kind of worked things out."

"Thank God!" Peyton said sitting down on one the benches.

"How did you know?" Haley said sitting down next to her.

"It was pretty clear that's why he ditched us. Let me tell you, Haley—and I don't mean to make you feel bad, but I tell it like it is—you did a number on him last night. I don't know what you said, but he didn't say two words to anyone all night."

"I told him that I couldn't be friends with him and I didn't want to be around him anymore."

"That was it," Peyton confirmed.

"I didn't plan to. It just happened. I saw you two taking pictures and I got so jealous. I am sorry, Peyton. I've been lousy to you all along. I blamed you a little bit but none of this was your fault. I even told you it was okay if you went to prom with him, and made it seem as if you were doing me a favor!"

"You know that's the only reason why I went right? I swear I wouldn't have gone if you didn't tell me to!"

"I believe that. It's just you seemed so excited at his house and then I began to think—"

"That I was into him?" Peyton finished. "I was into prom, Haley. Never, Nathan."

"I guess I don't get the whole prom thing. Is it really that big of a deal?" Haley asked trying to understand. For her, it was just the opposite; it had always been more about Nathan than prom.

"For most girls, yes, but it's pretty much all hype from what I can tell. For me it's a little different," Peyton said sadness entering her voice. "See, my mom went to prom every year in high school. And I know it sounds stupid, but I have her dresses… all four of them…and I was so excited to be able to finally wear one of them."

"She must have been so excited; it fit you so perfectly." Haley became nervous as Peyton looked away.

"She died when I was eight," Peyton said slowly as a tear fell down her cheek. Haley immediately put her arm around her in response.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"It's okay. She ran a red light coming to pick me up from school." Peyton wiped her tear away, shook her head in an attempt to compose herself. "So, yeah. It's just me and my dad now. Anyway, that's why I went out for cheering too. She was a cheerleader. I guess, I just want to experience the same things my mom did and at the same time. I can't explain it, but it helps me feel connected to her. Pretty silly, huh? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly the cheery type."

"That's okay. Brooke more than makes up for it!"

"That, she does!" Peyton laughed, before turning serious. "We've been best friends for so long and she was really there for me when my mom died. I feel so bad for what happened with Lucas and I'm so scared what will happen if she finds out. I've made _so many mistakes_, Haley. With you, with Brooke…Pretty soon I'm not going to have any friends," she said miserably.

"You have me, Peyton. As long as you're not after Nathan, anyway!" Haley said as she playfully elbowed her.

"I'm swear, I'm not! He's all yours…So what happened with you two anyway? Spill."

"He told me how he felt and I told him how I really felt, then I think we both felt stupid about everything," Haley said laughing.

"Good. You should! You two are such boneheads for letting this go on like that. You know why he didn't take you to prom right? He was trying to 'protect you.' It's like he's stuck in the 50's or something. I told him you could take care of yourself."

"I'm kind of to blame for that. You remember homecoming, right? Well, that was Damien. I make it a point not to be around him so, Nathan thought he was doing me a favor, I guess."

"I should have known it was Damien! Bastard! He has hit on me a couple of times too!"

"I guess you handle it better then."

"No, Haley. It's different for me. I can say anything I want to him. But Nathan is so tight with him. And it's not like he has a choice either. I see that with cheering. Those guys are a tight team. And," Peyton said elbowing Haley, "Nathan's not my boyfriend."

"He's not mine either!" Haley said quickly.

"Relax. I was just kidding. Seriously though, you said you told each other how you feel so what's the hold up?"

"It's complicated," Haley said not wanting to elaborate. It's not that she didn't trust Peyton. It was more that she wanted to keep things between her and Nathan.

"Isn't it always?"

"You're telling me." Haley looked at Peyton seriously knowing there were something couldn't avoid telling her. "Can you keep this secret?"

"Keep what secret?" Peyton said confused.

"Rachel doesn't know you and Nathan had such a lousy time and she definitely doesn't know Nathan and I talked last night. It's just easier that way for now."

"Oh. So you want me to lie?"

"No, just maybe keep some things to yourself?"

"Okay. I guess you've done the same for me."

"What does Brooke know?"

"Just that Nathan was a bad date. Aren't you afraid Rachel's going to figure it out?"

"Yes, but I just want to ease into it." Ready to change the subject, Haley began, "So what is this I'm hearing about you and Jake?"

Peyton eyes lit up at the mention of his name. "Did Nathan say something to you?"

"Yes! He said you were dancing with him. So what's the deal with his girlfriend?"

"I'm not sure. He really wouldn't say. She told him she wasn't going but he still thought she'd show. He was really disappointed. You know her?"

"Not really, I sort of met her once…briefly," Haley said hesitantly. "Nathan just said they spent a lot of time together. Jake and Nathan used to be real close growing up but when they hit high school, I guess Jake hooked up with Nikki and Nathan started hanging more with Tim and Damien. Maybe this means he can hang out with Jake more now," Haley said hopefully.

"They have been hanging out more lately. I hope Nikki is gone for good because I think I really like him!" Peyton squealed.

"Maybe next year, we can double date to senior prom!" Haley said, allowing herself to indulge in a girlish fantasy.

"You're getting my hopes up! Okay, enough girl talk. Let's go find Brooke and Rachel before they reach the limit on their parent's credit cards."

"Good idea!"

* * *

Haley struggled to get into the door at her house. She was carrying her duffle bag and a couple of shopping bags from the mall; one of which was weighted down with books and was about to break.

"Need some help?" Jimmy asked getting up from the couch, followed by Nathan.

"No. No, I'm fine," Haley said flustered.

"What did you get?" Lydia asked coming in from the kitchen.

"Not too much; just some books and CD's," Haley answered still flustered as she was now surrounded by Lydia, Jimmy and Nathan at the foot of the stairs.

"What's in that pink bag, Hales?" Nathan asked with a glint in his eyes.

"Nothing," she muttered.

Haley quickly started up the stairs, not wanting to be interrogated any further. About halfway up the stairs the bag with the books broke and Haley dropped the rest of her bags along with them. She threw her duffel bag at the top of the stairs and returned to start to gather the items. Haley surveyed the scene and found Nathan picking up the mysterious items from the pink bag, which much to Haley's relief were still wrapped in tissue paper and sealed with a sticker. He placed them back into the bag, clearly amused. Haley snatched it from his hands and began to pick up the rest of the items. She was grateful her parents had left Nathan alone to help her and were unable to witness the exchange. Nathan followed her back up the stairs, holding most of the books.

Haley ignored Nathan as they entered her bedroom and instead immediately began unpacking her duffel bag. Nathan sat down on her bed watching her.

"Thank you Nathan, for helping me out. I really appreciate it," Nathan said mockingly. Haley continued to focus on unpacking. "Oh and thank you too for making me breakfast and taking me to the mall. You have fun at the mall, Hales?"

"It was fine."

"Okay. Let me be more specific. How was Victoria's Secret? Find some things you liked there?"

"Shut up, Nathan."

"You know how you could repay me for all the nice things I've done for you today?" Nathan got up from the bed and stood directly behind her as she rearranged items on her bureau. "You could let me see what's in the pink bag."

"You are such a perv," Haley said spinning around. Nathan simply laughed at her.

"I'm a guy. I'm not asking you to model for me. I just want to see what you got," Nathan said as he moved his hands around her waist. Haley brushed his hands away and finished emptying the bags from her bed. "I guess you want me to leave then, huh?"

One look at him and Haley could tell he was still teasing her. When he headed for the door, Haley caved. "No!"

Nathan smiled and returned to her bed. "Why are you so worked up, Hales?"

"I've never bought anything from there before. Brooke kind of made me. It was stupid. And you were making a big deal about it! In front of my parents!"

"I really _need_ to see what you got. It obviously must be something special. Tell me you were thinking of me," Nathan said smirking.

Nathan didn't even brace himself as Haley shoved him. He knew he had it coming. The truth was Haley had been thinking about him but she would never admit that to him.

"I'll make you a deal. If you let me see what's in the bag, I'll go with you to a chick flick."

"Why is this such a big deal to you?"

"I'm a 17 year old guy who's crazy about this girl and he's not allowed to act on it for, like six months!"

"It's not that long. You said yourself, you're going to be gone most of the summer," Haley said taking a seat next to him.

"I know but I could use something to think about. To keep me going all this time. It's better than me hitting some of those porn sites."

"Fine," Haley said shoving the bag in his lap. "But I can't be here when you look. I'm too embarrassed." Haley headed towards the door and stopped. "And I'm probably not going to wear them anyway. But you still owe me."

Five minutes later, Haley pretended to be engrossed in the movie her father was watching on the tv. Nathan came down the steps and purposely chose the seat next to Haley on the couch. As soon as he snuck a glance at her, Haley began to blush profusely. She immediately picked up a pillow and began hitting him with it.

"Hey!" Nathan said as he blocked himself. "You see this, Mr. James? All I did was sit down here and your daughter is beating up on me." Haley stopped hitting him but continued to glower at him.

"Nice to see you two are getting along again," Jimmy said laughing from his recliner. "Guess, that means I need to start worrying about you two dating again," he said with a more serious tone.

Nathan and Haley immediately straightened up and moved to opposite sides of the couch. Haley realized for the second time in the course of the day that this was not going to be as simple as she thought.

* * *

Much to Haley's dismay, she realized things were easier when she wasn't around Nathan. They had returned to school, and other than the fact that Nathan was back to driving her and Rachel, everything had seemed to stay the same on the surface. Nathan continued to train for High Flyers and Haley signed up for even more tutoring hours. On the weekends, they would see each other only if Haley was over his house with Rachel or if Nathan stopped by her house.

Nathan was having a different take on the situation. Being apart from Haley was killing him, especially knowing they would separated for real shortly after the start of summer vacation. A couple of weeks into their routine, Nathan decided he needed to shake things up.

It was afterschool when Nathan finally had the opportunity. The crowds had cleared out and Nathan knew Haley would be heading to the Tutor Center. When he saw her coming, he began walking behind her.

"Hey," Nathan said as he caught up with her. He grabbed her hand and took her to a nearby empty classroom. Before she could process her shock, Nathan began kissing her. He pushed her back against the wall as Haley kissed him back. When she finally realized what was going on, Haley pulled back.

"We can't do this!" Haley said shaking her head, but still smiling.

"We just did," Nathan laughed.

Just then a teacher walked in the room and over to her desk. She looked startled when she noticed Haley and Nathan at the back of the room.

"Nathan!"

"Hey, Mrs. Burns. I just, uh, wanted to introduce you to my friend Haley." Haley followed Nathan over to the desk.

"Haley, this is Mrs. Burns. She teaches AP English. Haley is a freshman in Honors this year."

"Think you might be interested in AP?"

"I might be. I really enjoy reading and writing."

"Well, I'm not in charge of the applications even though I teach the course. You'll have to pick one up from your guidance counselor. If you have any questions about the course, just let me know."

"Thanks!" Haley and Nathan turned to walk out the door.

"Haley, do I recognize you from the Tutor Center?" Mrs. Burns said causing them to stop.

"Yeah. I'm actually headed there now," Haley said walking back into the room. She was sure Nathan hadn't planned this but she was happy to have the chance to earn some bonus points with her possible future teacher next year.

"You've been tutoring Felix?" Haley nodded. "Well, he's really come along. Nice work. Maybe you can help out your friend Nathan now."

Nathan grimaced at the mention of his name. The truth was he wasn't doing so well in her class lately. Nathan slowly began smiling realizing that this was just what he was looking for.

"That's a great idea Mrs. Burns. Haley will start tutoring me ASAP. Maybe we can even start today."

"I'll look forward to seeing an improvement in your work Nathan. Then, I know I'll be able to write you a fabulous college recommendation."

"Thanks, Mrs. Burns. I'll see you tomorrow."

As soon as they were in the hallway, Haley stopped and looked quizzically at Nathan. "What was that all about?"

"I had to see you Haley. I didn't plan the rest. But it did work out nicely if I do say so myself. Guess I got myself a tutor! A hot one too!"

Haley was so frustrated with Nathan she didn't even blush at his comment. "I can't tutor you, Nathan! I told you. They just randomly assign people."

"I'll talk to Mrs. Burns then. She was the one who said you should tutor me. I bet she can make it happen. She loves me anyway."

"Ha! She just told you that you needed a tutor."

"Why can't you just tutor me without going through the Tutor Center?"

"I can but Mrs. Burns obviously wants a record of it. How bad are you doing?"

"I'm just a couple assignments behind. Once I hand them in, my grade will go back up."

"So what's holding you up?"

"I haven't been able to focus. There's been a lot going on," Nathan signed. Haley didn't need him to elaborate. She knew Dan and Deb were discussion a separation. As of right now, the summer would be a trial separation with Deb living at the beach house.

"There is one way this could work…"

"I knew you could do it if you really wanted to," Nathan said smiling.

"There's a time for walk-ins. If you come in then, I can probably arrange it so I can help you. Then, maybe you can talk to Mrs. Burns so I can be assigned to you officially."

"That's my girl," Nathan said putting his arm around Haley. "Now, we have a solid excuse to spend time together." Haley couldn't help but smile along with Nathan. She chose to ignore the possible ramifications, and just enjoy the bubbling feeling forming inside her.

* * *

"Care to tell me why Haley James has been smiling so much lately?" Lucas asked nudging Haley. It was one of the few days that Haley wasn't scheduled at the Tutor Center and they were headed to Karen's Café so Lucas could train Haley on some of the basics for her summer job. It was also the first time they had to catch up in a couple of weeks.

"I haven't been," Haley said unconvincingly.

"What? Tell me this has nothing to do with making up with a certain Nathan Scott?" Lucas smirked.

"So we're friends again. Why does my happiness have to be tied to some guy?"

"Because Nathan's not some guy. He's actually not too bad, you know."

"Has hell frozen over?"

"Stranger things have happened, Hales," Lucas laughed. "We're cool now." He paused for a moment and then added, "I think."

"Good. I mean, I don't get it, but I like it. Now, if I can just get Rachel on 'Team Nathan."

"She can't really hate him, Hales? He's her brother."

"I'm not sure she hates him. Who knows? Maybe she does. But she definitely hates the two of us together," Haley confided.

"I don't get it. I mean, I'm still not his biggest fan, but no one can deny how the two of you are together."

"What does that mean exactly?" Haley said worried.

"You light up when you're around him. He does, too. At least when you guys are getting along. And when you're not, well, you're both not yourselves. Not your best selves anyway. Rachel just can't accept that huh?"

"Not yet. I'm hoping someday." Someday soon, Haley silently added.

"I know you're loyal, Haley, but why don't you just do what you want and not worry so much about Rachel?"

This is what Haley knew Lucas would never understand. Nathan was the only one who got it because he was there. No matter what happened, no matter how long ago it was, none of them could seem to let go of that night and the choices that were made. In a way, Rachel was still punishing Haley and Nathan for that night, even though they were just small children. The worst part was that Haley couldn't blame her so she just accepted it. She wasn't lying when she said she had hope though. Rachel was doing the best she had in years. Haley was confident that with a little more time, they could all move past that night.

"There are just things you—" Haley haltingly began.

"— don't know." Lucas finished. "Right, I remember. Well, whatever hold she has over you has to break at some point. It's the only way it's ever going to work for you and Nate." Haley shrugged, not really wanting to admit he was right. "So there's something I have to tell you," Lucas said smiling.

"What?"

"My mom's pregnant."

"Oh my God! That's so cool!" Haley said enthusiastically. "Is she still going to Italy?"

"Yeah, she's still going to go. She's just a couple of months along. She figures it's now or never, you know."

"Your parents must be so excited!"

"They are. They always wanted more kids, but it never happened so they just kind of gave up. This was a happy surprise for them."

"Wow! You hoping for a little brother or sister?"

"Doesn't really matter to me. I think my parents are hoping for a girl though. So, I'm not sure but I think my mom is going to ask you if you want to keep the job after the summer. She could really use the help. Just giving you a head's up. I know how busy you already are."

"I'd love it! I could always use the money anyway. I really want to get a cell phone," Haley said assuredly.

"Good. I'll probably be there a lot too so we'll get to see other a lot again."

"Nice." Haley suddenly felt her future was looking very promising. Sure, she would miss Nathan while he was away, but she would have Rachel and Lucas and all their drama as distractions. Then, in the fall, she could see herself working at the café, alongside Lucas, having both Rachel and Nathan into visit, along with the rest of their friends. She could picture the whole crew hanging out there after school or a big game. Maybe Peyton would even be with Jake by then. This would be ideal for Haley so Nathan wouldn't be around Tim and Damien so much. Yes, in Haley's perfect dream world, there was no place for those two losers.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "So Young" (The Coors)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thanks to **Pamela** for her help and support!

Chapter 14: "So Young" (The Coors)

"Don't think all this walking is going to count towards our tutoring time!" Haley said, as she stumbled over some branches. "I don't see why we couldn't just drive here anyway," she muttered.

"My car is not made for dirt roads, Hales. Would you stop complaining?"

"Why didn't you take your dad's car then?" Haley said, refusing to back down.

It was a beautiful sunny day out, but a little warmer than usual for late May weather. Haley was only wearing a tank top and a pair of jean shorts, but she was also carrying a backpack full of books. They had been walking for close to ten minutes now and Haley felt like she was getting hotter with each step.

Nathan, on the other hand, who was carrying a blanket, a bag of food and drinks and some speakers, was often forced to slow down for Haley. She couldn't help but notice what great physical shape he was in as his muscles peaked out from the t-shirt he was wearing with his gym shorts. He hadn't broken a sweat either which also frustrated her as she felt a trickle trail down her back.

"My dad hasn't been around lately."

"Oh," Haley said feeling guilty. It was a stupid question and she should have known better.

"Okay, we're here," Nathan said as he led Haley toward a large clearing along the river. He walked away from the woodsy area and began laying down the blanket along a small beach area along the shoreline. Haley dropped her backpack and began to help him. She looked around impressed at the serenity of the area.

"Wow! I've never been here before."

"My dad used to take me here fishing. Tim, Damien, and I come here too sometimes. Damien's dad has a rowboat we take out. Only thing is it only really fits two so we usually leave Tim behind," Nathan snickered. "It's worth the walk, huh?"

"I guess," Haley said not quite willing to admit defeat just yet.

Nathan ignored the comment and sat down the blanket and began unpacking. He set up his speakers, turned on the music and took out some bottled water for them. Haley, meanwhile, began taking out her notebook, folder and pen.

"Here," Nathan said handing Haley her water. Haley turned around and quickly turned away. Nathan had taken off his shirt and she didn't want him to see her gawking at him. How was she supposed to tutor him with his shirt off? Haley was also smart enough to know that was probably part of his plan. Haley took a drink of the water and decided they needed to focus.

"Have you finished _The Little Prince_ yet?"

"No, I'm just going to rent the movie. It's a stupid book anyway."

"Nathan, you're never going to pass French by watching movies."

"You're supposed to be helping me with English, but if did want to help me with French there is one thing I don't think I have down that I think you do." Haley smiled, knowing where this was going. The truth was she was excited to be able to kiss Nathan without trying to hide it; she just didn't want him to realize how excited she really was. Playing it cool was not her strong suit at this moment as she let Nathan push the notebook off her lap. He moved over her, pushing her down onto the blanket. Within seconds of their mouths meeting, Nathan slipped his tongue into her mouth. Haley responded with equal enthusiasm. They hadn't been able to make out like this since prom night and she knew this was the reason Nathan had dragged her to this quiet and remote locale.

As soon as Haley's hands began stroking his back, Nathan realized he needed to cool things down, for his own benefit. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "So, you have your bathing suit on Hales?"

"No. Was I supposed to?" Haley said confused. He had told her that he had a great place for their tutoring session, but how was she supposed to know it had a beachfront? She was also sure the water was still way too cold for swimming.

"No. So what do you have on then?" Nathan said with a smirk as he shifted up a bit. Haley continued to look at him confused. He began lightly moving his finger her skin under the hem of her top. Haley closed her eyes, taking in its effect on her body. Nathan leaned close again and whispered "Tell me you're wearing that blue thong from Victoria's Secret."

Haley instantly used all her strength to push him off her. She could feel the heat in her cheeks as Nathan laughed heartily. He knew that would do the trick. Haley took her notebook and threw it at him. Seeing that he was still laughing, she then threw her pen at him as well.

"You have five minutes to write a thesis for your essay. And I'm not helping you." Nathan didn't protest, but he also wasn't able to wipe the smile off his face. He knew he was driving her crazy and he was enjoying every minute of it. Not wanting to push her too far, he picked up the pen and began to jot down some ideas.

They worked for about twenty minutes, creating an outline for Nathan's essay, before Nathan couldn't take it anymore. Haley knew he had reaching his limit, but she continued to push anyway, still trying to punish him for teasing her earlier.

"Haley! Did you really think I took you out here just so you could tutor me the whole time? Plus, this isn't even being recorded as tutoring hours anyway!" he complained.

"Why did you take me out here then?" Haley said, pretending to still be mad at him. She knew, why, she just really wanted to hear him say it.

Nathan moved up against her and used his thumb to stroke her cheek. Haley suddenly felt weak in her knees as his crystal blue eyes pierced into hers. "I wanted to be alone with you," Nathan said huskily.

"Why is that?" Haley said with a slight smile. Nathan struggled to keep himself in check but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He found Haley sexy as hell as she leaned back on her elbows with her hair spilling out from the messy bun it was in, but it was her teasing was about to send him into a frenzy. Instead of mauling her like he wanted to, he decided it would be more fun to play this game with her. Nathan pulled away from Haley, turned on his side and propped himself on one his elbows.

"So I can just look at you," Nathan said purposely looking at her intently.

"Really?" Haley tested.

"Really," Nathan answered not moving.

Haley moved as close as she could to him, challenging him, as her eyes met his. Haley smiled, seeing the effect she was having on him. She could almost hear the battle going on inside of him. Haley was having an inner battle of her own as she could no longer hold his gaze. Her eyes shifted down to Nathan's bare chest. Not able to help herself, she put her palm onto it, trying to locate his heartbeat, as she had done so many times over the years.

Just like the last time, the touch of her hand on his chest, no longer held the calming it effect it once did. Instead, it revved Nathan into action. Guided by impulse as well, Nathan pushed Haley on her back and began kissing her profusely. Haley was surprised when he lips moved off her mouth and continued to behind her ear, her neck and her collarbone. Her body arched up in response as she moaned softly. This response encouraged Nathan as he repeated the motions on the opposite side of her.

Nathan shivered as Haley's hands wrapped around his back. She began stroking him lightly, forcing him to slow down again. This time, Nathan was determined to remain in control and not break away. He turned his attention back to her lips, kissing her softly.

"You taste so good, Haley," Nathan whispered, making her smile.

"I do?" Haley questioned. Being with Nathan like this was beginning to feel so comfortable, so good and she was relieved not as embarrassed as she used to be. She was still self-conscious about herself, but she no longer doubted Nathan's feelings for her.

"You do," Nathan said looking at her and licking is lips. "So what do you think, Hales? You want to see how I taste?" Nathan teased.

"Um, no. I'm all set, thanks," Haley said quickly. She was still content to let him take the lead.

"Suit yourself. But anytime you want a piece of this," Nathan said gesturing towards his body, "you go ahead and help yourself."

"Nathan…I'm not….It's just…" Haley stammered. She knew he was just teasing her, but she wanted him to know her limits.

"Shhhh," Nathan said picking up on her anxiety. "I know. I'm not trying to push you. I'm here is all I want you to know. I don't want you to be afraid to touch me when you are ready." Nathan sat up beginning to feel guilty.

"No, Nathan," Haley pleaded as she pulled him back down. "I didn't mean for you to stop. I just need you to take the lead. For now, anyway. You can be like my tutor," Haley with a smile.

"You think you need a tutor?" Haley nodded in response.

"I do."

"And you want it to be me?"

"Of course I do! You have _so much_ experience!"

"I do not!" Nathan protested. "It's all feeling, Haley. I love figuring out what you like," Nathan said as he began laying kisses on her neck. "Like this?"

"Mmmm…" Haley responded. Feeling encouraged that he had found one of Haley's spots, he began to move his tongue in a circular motion before starting to suck on a tender area of her neck. Haley instantly began squirming, but Nathan remained focused on sucking that spot. After a minute, Haley began to gain back some self-control. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him, using her fingers to trace lines up and down his back.

Nathan looked up and smiled. "I hate to break it to you Hales, but you are doing just fine on your own." Haley looked at him with both disappointment and confusion.

"Huh?"

"I love it when you do that," Nathan explained.

"This?" Haley asked, as she stroked him again. Nathan squirmed in response. Haley couldn't help but laugh. She had no idea that something so simple could do that to him.

"So this was quite the tutoring session today, huh? I think we both learned some new things," Nathan said sitting back up.

"We should do it again sometime."

"I'm telling you—anytime, Hales. We should get going though."

"I like this place, Nate," Haley said as she began helping Nathan pack up. "We should come back here."

"Remember that next time you start complaining about the walk," Nathan said happy to claim this small victory for the both of them.

* * *

"Haley, what's on your neck?"

"What?" Haley said as she began feeling both sides of her neck. Lydia pushed Haley's hands away and pressed her face to her neck like only a mother could.

"It kind of looks like a hickey," Lydia said laughing.

"Mom!" Haley said mortified as she ran into the bathroom. She grabbed a facecloth, put cold water on it and began rubbing the spot profusely, hoping it would somehow disappear. Instead, it seemed to make it even worse. After spending five minutes trying out a variety of useless methods, Haley gave up and decided she had to deal with it. She would kill Nathan later, but for now, she had to do her best to hide it and find a plausible excuse for her mother.

Haley came out of the bathroom and headed up to her bedroom. She began vigorously applying concealer and it helped a little, but the mark was still clearly visible. Haley then tried using her hair to cover the mark, but of course, Nathan had picked a spot that really couldn't be covered that way.

Lydia appeared in her doorway a few minutes later.

"Try this," Lydia said handing Haley a small scarf. Haley took the scarf and looked at it in disgust. Her mother had a wacky sense of style and it was true that on occasion Haley had seemed to inherit it as well, but she had tried to be a little savvier about her clothing choices since she entered high school. Brooke had teased her mercilessly when they first became friends about her clothes and she now took credit for transforming Haley's style. She knew this scarf, which was white but had a pattern of brightly colored fruits all over it, would definitely garner some curious glances.

"I can't wear that, Mom," Haley said miserably.

"Well, that's all I have. Unless you can find something else in the next ten minutes, that will have to do. Unless you want to stay home today and go to the doctor's?"

"No," Haley answered quickly. "I think it's just hives. I have some on my back too. I think I had too many strawberries yesterday. And I have a math test today so I have to go in." Haley hated lying to her mother, but she saw no way around it. It was just too embarrassing to admit the truth. Plus, there was the bigger issue of her parents finding out about her and Nathan.

"Let me see," Lydia said taking a step towards Haley. Haley quickly took a step back as well.

"No, Mom. I'm fine. Just let me get ready. Thanks for the scarf," Haley said forcing her mother of her room. She closed the door behind her and began to work on using the scarf to cover it up. It worked, but she knew she looked hideous, especially on another warm and sunny day.

Haley finally gathered her belongings and headed downstairs. She peaked out the window and saw Nathan and Haley pulling up.

As she made her way to the car, she purposely looked at the ground. The last thing she wanted to do was make eye contact with either one of them. Haley could hear them laughing before she opened the door. They continued to laugh as Haley took her seat, buckled up and fixed herself looking out the window and away from the two of them. After a minute, Haley began to get very aggravated. They weren't moving and didn't seem to be headed towards moving either. Nathan couldn't even look at her and his laughter was contagious. The more he laughed, the harder Rachel laughed. Just when they seemed to settle down, it started up all over again. They both had tears in their eyes.

Finally, Haley had enough. "Stop it!" she screamed. This of course incited them even more. "I mean it!"she added. Nathan caught her eye, took a deep breath and put the car into gear. As he turned around to back out of the driveway, he began snickering again. Haley gave him the evil eye as he tried to stifle his laughter.

They rode in silence for a while before Rachel spoke.

"Haley,…I have to know…you do realize it's going to be like 80 today right?" she said through her laughter.

"I have some type of rash on my neck…and this was all I had." Nathan started laughing again and Haley realized he knew exactly the reason for the scarf and he seemed to be taking in great satisfaction for it. "It's _my mom's_," Haley emphasized looking squarely at Nathan. He seemed to take the hint as his laughter faded.

Nathan waited for Haley as they got of the car. He let Rachel walk ahead of them, leaving them space to talk.

"Haley—" Nathan began.

"Oh, drop it, Nathan. Don't even bother pretending you didn't plan this all along!"

"I didn't!" he protested.

"Right! Stay away from me!" Haley said running ahead to catch up with Rachel.

* * *

"Haley! Nathan's here to see you." Haley could hear her mother calling her from downstairs but she couldn't seem to move off her bed. She closed her eyes again and was startled when she heard Nathan calling her name. She opened her eyes and found him standing next to her bed.

"How did you get here?" Haley asked sleepily.

"Your mom let me up. She said you weren't feeling good."

"She made me take some Benadryl." Nathan looked at her confused. "You know… for my rash…" she said sarcastically. Nathan couldn't stop himself from laughing yet again. "It's not funny!"

"I know," he said sympathetically. "Can I see?" Haley reluctantly turned off of her side and pushed her hair back. Nathan immediately broke into a huge grin as he fingered the spot. As if he didn't plan this…

"I'm glad you find this _so amusing_," Haley said snidely.

"I'm sorry, Hales. Really, I am. Years later we are going to look back at this and laugh."

"Easy for you to say! Do you have any idea how many people laughed _at me_ today? Brooke practically disowned me! I'm not going to school tomorrow."

"Maybe I can change your mind," Nathan said lifting a bag up off the floor. "I got you something." Haley didn't move, still not willing to give him an inch. She just couldn't face wearing another scarf to school during warm weather.

Nathan reached into the bag and held up two ribbed shirts. One was maroon and short-sleeved, the other black and sleeveless and both had a small turtle-neck that would cover up her spot. Haley hated to admit it, but they were obviously expensive and stylish. They were in fact, the type of shirts that Brooke would wear.

"Nathan," Haley said softening.

"I am sorry, Haley," he said leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. Haley smiled back him, letting him know that he had successfully redeemed himself.

* * *

"Hey!" Haley said, unable to contain her enthusiasm as Nathan entered Karen's Café. She taken on one shift a week, being trained by Lucas in preparation for the summer. Haley was pleasantly surprised that Nathan had come by to visit. They had spent a lot of time together recently and she was beginning to get a little nervous that everyone had noticed the change in their relationship. Still, she couldn't help but beam at the sight of him.

"Hey. How's it going?" Nathan said taking a seat at the counter. Haley thought it was cute how he was trying to play it cool, even as there weren't many people around.

Haley leaned over the counter towards him. "Good, now that you're here," Haley smiled tauntingly.

"I'm actually here to see Lucas," Nathan explained.

"Oh," Haley said disappointed. Nathan immediately felt bad. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Haley; it was just that he was a little on edge about the conversation he was going to have with Lucas. "I'll go get him," she turned to head towards the kitchen.

"Haley!" Nathan called after her.

Haley stopped and turned around.

"Can I walk you home?"

"Sure!" Haley said happily, amazed at how easily Nathan was able to affect her mood.

A minute later, Haley returned with Lucas.

"You ready?" Nathan asked. He saw the confusion in Haley's eyes and realized Lucas hadn't told her they were heading out. "We're going to shoot some hoops." Haley looked and felt stupid seeing the ball in Nathan's hands for the first time.

"You can handle it right, Hales? It'll be good training for you."

"Your mom's still here right?" Haley asked nervously.

"She's in the office. But see how it goes on your own."

"Okay." On his way out, Nathan turned around and smiled at Haley. Haley felt giddy all over again.

"So are you set for finals?" Lucas asked.

"As set as I'm going to be. Haley's been tutoring me," Nathan answered. It was the truth. Nathan had studied more this year for finals than his past two years combined.

"Tutoring, huh?" Lucas asked skeptically.

"Tutoring," Nathan said unconvincingly.

"Who are you two kidding, Nate?" Lucas laughed.

"Look, I have nothing to say, Luke. You'll have to talk to Haley about that," Nathan said seriously. He was getting a little tired of the game they were playing. He hated not knowing what to say to who all the time and would rather just have everything out in the open. Nathan was willing to do this for Haley though; especially if it was the only choice he had. He wasn't sure what Lucas knew and wasn't willing to jeopardize anything.

"So what's up then? I just assumed this was about Hales." Nathan shook his head knowing Lucas hadn't been fooled when he asked him to meet up to go to the Rivercourt. He guessed they hadn't come as far as he thought. Maybe this conversation hadn't been such a good idea after all.

"It kind of is," Nathan said hesitantly.

"She's crazy about you, Nate. I know you've—"

"No. Not me and Haley," Nathan interrupted. "Haley and Rachel actually."

"Rachel's okay, isn't she?"

"Yeah, I guess so. She seems it. Hasn't been around any of her old friends, but you never do know with her." Nathan paused for a moment. "I never thanked you for helping her out this year."

"That was kind of scary, huh?"

"I kind of freaked. I didn't know. I would have…I don't know what I would have done…but I would have done something."

"I didn't know what to do either. That's why we told my mom."

"She's really nice. I never really knew her. I mean, my parents never talked about her or you. My dad just knocks your dad every chance he gets." Nathan noticed Lucas grimacing and added, "Sorry. You seem lucky though. Your parents seem cool."

"They are. I'm going have a little brother or sister too soon."

"Congrats, man!" Nathan said fisting Lucas.

"Guess you'll have another cousin, too," Lucas added.

"Yeah, I will," Nathan said smiling. That was just what he needed to hear to continue with his request from Lucas. "So I was hoping you could keep your eye out for Haley and Rachel this summer."

"Haley told me you were going to High Flyers. That's pretty sweet. Only one player per high school. Damien didn't have a chance."

"Don't tell him that. His dad's convinced he was robbed."

"No, you deserved that spot."

"Maybe that'll be you in two years," Nathan encouraged him.

"Maybe," Lucas said smiling. "So what exactly are you worried about, Nate?"

"My parents are fighting again. Even worse…well, even worse than when Rachel, was you know…" Lucas nodded understand and Nathan continued. "They're actually separating. Rachel's going to be staying with my mom. She's not too happy about that. Always got along better with my dad, but it's summer and my mom will be at the beach house so it just makes sense."

"Haley will be there too, right? At least for a couple of weeks?"

"A month I think, but I'm going away for eight weeks and I know all of this is going to fall on Haley. She's really good with her. Too good if you ask me," Nathan said, unable to hold back.

"I know what you mean," Lucas agreed. Nathan looked at him surprised. Maybe he did know more than he led on. Still, he was pretty sure he didn't know everything. Not even his parents knew everything, but they didn't really want to either. It was a secret shared by the three of them.

"Look, I know I have no right to ask but I do trust you. I don't really trust many people with all my family drama."

"I got it, Nate it. You have a cell right?" Nathan nodded. "I'll give you a call if anything does down. Haley will be at the café a lot so it shouldn't be a problem. Rachel and I are cool too. Won't be weird if I just invite her around with us."

"That sounds great, Luke. I know I don't deserve it."

"Haley does," Lucas responded.

"She does," Nathan agreed.

* * *

"How are my boys?" Haley asked proudly as Lucas and Nathan came in the door.

"Good," Nathan answered.

"How'd it go?" Lucas asked.

"Great. Didn't need to get Karen once and I even closed up myself," Haley said to both of them.

"So you ready to go?" Nathan asked. Haley shot Lucas a worried look.

"Luke, Nathan offered to—"

"No problem, Hales," Lucas said chuckling. "I'm sure you to have plenty of tutoring to catch up on," he added with a wink. Haley looked at them both curiously. Nathan just shrugged as held the door open for her.

"What was that about?" Haley asked as soon as they were outside.

"I don't know. I didn't say anything to him. Did you?"

"No."

"Well, I guess he knows then," Nathan said nonchalantly. "Not like it's a big deal, anyway right? We can trust him?" Nathan carefully looked at Haley for confirmation.

Haley didn't hesitate to nod. "Oh yeah. He's good."

"So does that mean you told him about Rachel?"

"Nathan! How could you even ask me that?" Haley said stopping in her tracks.

"You two are tight and he kind of said something tonight…"

"Like what?"

"Nothing. It was nothing, Hales." Nathan didn't want to admit they both thought Haley paid too much attention to Rachel's needs.

Haley started walking again, much to Nathan's relief. "He just knows she has issues. He was the one who noticed her cutting after all. I didn't tell him why though."

"It's okay, Hales. I'm not mad. I just wanted to know. I trust you."

"So what did you two talk about anyway?"

"I asked him to keep an eye out for you and Rach. So if something happens, you can go to him."

"Thanks for your permission," Haley said sarcastically.

"What the hell, Hales? All I'm trying to do is look out for you!" Nathan huffed out as he stopped and threw his hands up in the air.

"Nathan, what is going on with you? You've been in a bad mood all day and all week for that matter! What is it you're not telling me?" Haley confronted him.

"Nothing. You know the drill. My parents are asses, everything always seems to be about Rachel and now you're getting on my case." Nathan began to walk again, this time taking long strides to move ahead of her.

"Nathan! Nathan!" Haley called after him. Nathan stopped and waited for her. Haley could tell how pissed he was as he stood there with his hands in his pockets, not even looking at her.

"I don't mean to get on your case. We just promised to tell each other everything but I feel like you're holding back. If you say you're not, I'll believe you and let it go. I just don't want to fight with you. I'm not trying to make things worse."

Haley could sensing him softening as he relaxed his shoulders and took his hands out of his pockets. Without looking at her, he extending his hand and Haley clasped it. Nathan responded by squeezing it. They walked in silence for a few minutes as Haley waited for him to cool down.

When they got close to the street corner before Haley's, Nathan stopped and stood directly in front of her. His expression remained serious as he began stroking her cheek with one of his hands.

"I guess we should stop here if I'm going to give you a kiss," Nathan said with a sigh.

"You don't have to, Nathan," Haley said sensing his discomfort. "Not if you don't want to," she added softly.

"It's not that Haley!" Nathan said frustrated. "I'm just sick of hiding this. I don't want to have to watch what I say to Lucas or Rachel. I want to be able to walk you to your door. To hold your hand and give you kiss if I want to!"

Haley stood there not knowing what to say. She knew there was something going on with him, but it didn't cross her mind that it was about the two of them. Haley was beginning to feel miserable and was ready for this charade to end as well. If this is what he need from her, then she could do that. She could be mature.

"Fine, Nathan. Then let's do it. Let's just keep walking and you hold my hand and give me kiss at my door. If my parents see, then fine. I'll deal with it."

"You mean it?" Nathan said searching her face.

"I do."

"What about Rachel?"

"I never wanted to keep this from Rachel completely. I just wanted to get her used to it slowly. I figured she'd be able to tell when I was staying with you anyway. That might not happen now anyway though."

"You really think you parents would change their mind?"

"They almost already did. They asked me if it would be better if I stayed with Keith and Karen."

"Oh, so they don't care if you bunk with Lucas?"

"They know it's not like that, Nathan. That's the problem. That and they talked to your mom last week and she told them about the separation. I guess they thought it would be better for you guys if I wasn't around while all this goes on."

"If only they knew," Nathan said snidely. Haley had been around the Scott's fighting for years. The only difference was now it was becoming public because of the separation.

"I know, but my parents don't. Anyway, your mom convinced them it was fine and it would be good for Rachel, but my parents talked to me about it and offered to try and switch the plans. It's no big deal, though Nathan. I can even tell them if you want. I don't mind staying with Luke anyway."

"Where would you sleep?" Nathan hadn't been in Lucas' house but he knew it was on the small side.

"I don't know. I think they have a couch with a pull out bed."

"When are you parent's leaving?" Nathan said exasperated. Haley could tell by his tone that he was changing his mind.

"The day after school gets out but Nath—"

"It can go one more week," Nathan said with certainty.

"Then you leave," Haley said sadly. "Do you really want to be apart like this before you go?"

"No, I don't but you were right, Hales. If your parents make you stay with Lucas then we won't get to spend _any_ time together before I go. This is the _only_ way for us to be together."

"Nathan…" Haley said not convinced.

"It'll be fine. But once you're in my house, Haley…" Nathan looked at her with a wicked smile "…I'm not holding back anymore!"

"Nathan! We can't flaunt this in front of Rachel! We have to be sensitive about it."

"Okay, so we won't flaunt it," Nathan said rolling his eyes, "but I'm not going to spend my last week with you pretending to be _your friend_."

"I can live with that," Haley said with a smirk.

"You can, huh?" Nathan said as wrapped his arms around her and pull her up against him. "I hope you can live with this then…" Nathan's words trailed off his lips met hers. A minute later, they broke away as a car began to approach. They turned the corner onto Haley's street, both their moods lifted as a light appeared at the end of their tunnel of problems. In a week, this would all be over and they could enjoy their week together. They were both left determined to make the best of that week before their time apart.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

Preview of next chapter 15: "Slide" (Goo Goo Dolls)


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thanks to **Pamela **for her help!

Chapter 15: "Slide" (Goo Goo Dolls)

Barely into their summer vacation, Brooke, Haley and Rachel jumped at the first opportunity to hit the beach. All three of them were spread out on their beach blankets outside of the Scott's beach house soaking in some rays. Much to their amusement, there was also a heated volleyball game going on nearby, giving them much to talk about.

"If this is how our summer is going to be, I'm going to be a very happy girl! Now, if only Lucas was here!" Brooke giggled, as she passed the sunscreen to Haley.

"Lucas can come over, you know," Rachel said as she leaned over Haley to look at Brooke. "I mean it's not like my dad's going be around anyway and I know my mom wouldn't care. In fact, she probably won't even notice!" Rachel scoffed.

"He's working today, but I'll tell him. Thanks, Rach," Brooke said appreciatively. "So who are you into these days anyway?"

"Who aren't I into?" Rachel smirked.

"Good point. But we need some details, don't we, Haley? I mean, I can dish on Lucas, Haley has Nathan, although you probably don't want to hear about that, Peyton is trying to get something going with Jake, but I don't think that's going so well. Still, we need to hear about you! What about Tim or Damien?" Brooke said as she looked at the game.

"Haley's not with Nate," Rachel said, ignoring Brooke's question. Brooke looked from Rachel to Haley confused. "Tell her, Haley," Rachel added looking pointedly at Haley.

Haley shifted uncomfortably. She hadn't expected this to come up so fast. It was only her first day at the Scott's house. She had barely unpacked and yet Rachel was already getting on her case about Nathan. Haley decided she would try to sidestep the issue for now.

"You know how Nathan is, Brooke. He's not 'with' anyone. So what is going on with Peyton and Jake?" Haley said trying to change the subject.

"I guess he's never around and when he is, he always just disappears. He missed all his finals too. Maybe Nathan knows what's up?" Brooke said as eyed Nathan.

"No, he has no idea either," Haley responded a little too quickly. She could feel Rachel's eyes burning into from her right.

"Well, you sure are lucky, Haley, because Nathan sure puts on one hell of a show!" Brooke said still eyeing the game. None of the guys had their shirts on, but it was Nathan who had just dived for the ball and was now standing up brushing the sand of his chest.

"THEY ARE NOT TOGETHER!" Rachel yelled causing Brooke to jump.

"Whoa! Calm down, Rach." Brooke shook her head and looked over at Haley. "What am I missing here? Didn't Nathan ditch Peyton at prom because of you? Then you talked it all out? Did you and Nathan get into some type of fight or something?"

"I'm going for a swim," Rachel said getting up quickly and walking towards the ocean.

"What the hell?" Brooke said still confused.

"She didn't exactly know that," Haley confessed. "She's a little sensitive about me and Nathan."

"_A little_? That's like saying I like to shop _a little_."

"She's always been that way," Haley sighed. "I don't know what to do, Brooke," Haley said conflicted. "You're friends with her now. You see what she's like. What should I do?"

"I know she has a bitchy side, but I've never seen her snap like that. It's like something went off in her. Watch your back, is all I've got for you!"

"Brooke!" Haley whined.

"Well, she's going to have to deal with it, Haley. Seriously, she'll get over it. Just don't get all wrapped up in Nathan. She probably doesn't want you using her to get to him."

"It's not like that."

"Is kind of is, isn't it?" Brooke said questioning her. "Aren't you staying here so you can be around him?"

"No," Haley said quickly. "I made these plans back when we weren't talking." Haley took a deep breath as she decided to be completely honest. "But, he is leaving in a week and I do really want to spend time with him."

"Just be careful," Brooke warned. "After Nathan is gone, you're going to have Rachel all to yourself."

"Believe me, I know," Haley replied glumly.

* * *

"What's for dinner?" Nathan asked as he joined Rachel and Haley in the kitchen. No matter how much she tried, Haley couldn't get used to seeing him without his shirt on. Nathan caught her looking at him and grinned. "Hungry, Hales?" he added.

"We're just heading out for pizza," Rachel answered.

"Sounds good to me. Let me grab my shirt."

"You're not invited, Nathan. Get your own dinner. Come on, Haley."

Haley felt bad as Nathan looked genuinely hurt for second. He quickly recovered as his eyes narrowed in at Rachel.

"Grow up, Rachel. You're not the boss of Haley," Nathan said as he turned toward Haley. "Right? Tell her you want me to come."

"Rachel, let him come," Haley pleaded unable to disappoint Nathan.

"Why? So I can be the third wheel?"

"It's not like that. Nathan's leaving soon, Rach. Can't we just all hang out together?"

"Whatever. If that's what you want, Haley," Rachel said testing her.

Haley looked at Nathan for guidance but she was unable to read any emotion in his eyes. "I—" she began.

"You know what? Forget it. I'm not really that hungry," Nathan said coldly as he stormed out of the kitchen.

"Nice, Rachel," Haley said letting her know she was pissed as well.

"Let's go," Rachel said unfazed.

* * *

Haley was determined to talk to Nathan as soon as she could. When came back from eating, he was gone and hadn't returned home until after they went bed. When Haley saw the bathroom light go on, she got out of bed and made sure Rachel was sleeping. She waited until a minute after the light went off before cutting through the bathroom to Nathan's room.

"Nathan?" Haley whispered as she neared his bed.

"Yeah," he answered without moving.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Nathan…" Haley said unconvinced. "Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad, Hales," Nathan said sitting up. "Not at you anyway. Why does she have to be such a royal BITCH?" He continued, raising his voice.

"Nathan! Don't wake her up!" Haley said hushing him.

Nathan suddenly got of the bed and grabbed her hand, leading her into the hallway.

"Let's go," he said dragging her down the stairs. Haley let him take the lead, as she started to feel a little giddy as they sneaked around the house. They continued walking out the back doors to the porch that lead out to the beach. Nathan continued to walk fast towards the shoreline until Haley pulled him back.

"Let's just sit," Haley said softly. She wanted to be close with him, both for herself and to help calm him down.

They sat down side by side. Haley could tell by Nathan's stiffness that he was pretty upset. She moved behind him and began to rub his shoulders. Nathan put his head down, relaxing as he took in her touch. After a couple of minutes, he let her know he was okay by reaching up and putting of his hands on hers. Haley leaned over and kissed his neck softly, causing him to take a deep breath. She then moved back to his side. Nathan took her hand, as he stared in the direction of the ocean.

"I just want to be with you, Nathan. You have to know that," Haley said meeting his eyes.

"I know," he agreed. "Why does she have to make this so difficult?"

"Because she's Rachel. I don't know if she'll ever change."

"That's what I'm afraid of, Haley. I see the stress you're under and I hate it."

"I can handle it." Nathan looked at her unconvinced. "_I can_," she repeated.

"Is it worth it?" he questioned looking away and letting her hand go.

Haley couldn't help the tears that sprang to her eyes, but she resolved not to let him continue going down that path. Knowing him as well as she did, she knew she was going to have to play hard to get through the wall he was putting up.

"You've got to be kidding! Did you mean anything you said to me, Nate? Or was this all some kind of game?"

"Haley! I'm thinking about you, not me here!"

"Let _me_ think about _me_. I'm a big girl and I don't need you to protect me."

"Then, what, Haley? Tell me, what's going to happen? Are you going to let Rachel treat you like that? Or are you going to cut her off just for me? Is that what you want? Because I'm not sure you can have it both ways."

"I don't have all the answers, but I do know one thing." Haley paused causing him to look at her. "I want to be with you. I want what you promised me." Haley could see he was still wasn't convinced. "If you meant it. Did you mean it Nathan? Because if you did, then it's so worth it. But if not, then I need to know now."

"I did. I just was giving you an out," Nathan admitted. "I'd get it if you wanted out. This shouldn't be so hard, Hales," he said leaning his head on her shoulder.

"Life is hard, Nathan. It has been for both of you. Just don't push me away."

"I feel so selfish," Nathan said lifting his head back up. "What do you get in this, Haley? What have you ever gotten from my family? Nothing but….." he trailed off, not needing to finish.

Their thoughts were both going back to the same place anyway; that night at the beach house when their lives were changed and innocence lost. Haley decided it was pointless to go down that path and instead decided to focus on getting Nathan out of his mood.

"Nathan," Haley began smiling up at him, causing him to raise his eyebrows, "you make me feel…I don't know if I can explain how I feel when I'm with you…I want to be with you all _the time_. I think about YOU, all the time! I couldn't sleep tonight because I just wanted to be with you." Haley relaxed as Nathan broke into a smile at her words. "I want you to put your arms around me like you always do because that is the best feeling I've ever had."

Nathan held his arms out and Haley shifted in front of him. Nathan wrapped his arms around her as she leaned her back against his chest.

"How about this? I thought you liked how this feels too." Nathan began kissing and sucking her neck.

"Hey! Don't you dare," Haley said looking over her shoulder at him as he laughed.

They stayed out the beach like that for a while, losing track of time. Nathan teased Haley as much as he could, and Haley let him think she was annoyed. When they both began to yawn, they decided it was time to head back in, hoping no one realized they were gone.

"Oh my God! Nathan, it's 4:00 a.m.!"

"Is it really?"

"I don't know if I'm gonna get any sleep, Hales, knowing you're just on the other side of the bathroom."

"Me either," Haley admitted. "But, we need to go back up. This was nice though."

"We can do it again, you know?" Nathan said mischievously.

"Only if you behave yourself," Haley said coyly.

* * *

"It is so hot in here! I can't take it anymore! Mom, did call the guy again?"

"He was supposed to be here an hour ago. I don't know what to tell you, Rachel."

"We can't stay here like this. Can't we just go back to the house?"

"No, we can't," Deb answered without hesitation.

"What the fuck!" Rachel said as stormed out of the kitchen.

Haley and Nathan stood there uncomfortably. Neither one of them wanted to go after Rachel. The air conditioning had broken sometime during the morning, causing all of them to get up early. This was even worse for Nathan and Haley who had continued to sneak out at night to spend some alone time on the beach. They probably only had a couple of hours of sleep at most. With all the windows open, the humidity had seeped in making it unbearable. Luckily, they were able to spend most of the day outside on the beach, but with night falling, they had all begun to worry. No one would be able to sleep in that house without the air conditioning.

"Maybe you should call Dad," Nathan softly suggested to his mother.

"I'll get us a hotel room before I do that." Two hours later, that's just what Deb did. The repairman had finally arrived but didn't have the right parts to fix the units. He wouldn't be able to fix it until the morning.

Deb booked them three hotel rooms in town, at Rachel's insistence. She had thrown another typical Rachel-style tantrum, demanding to go to stay with her father until Deb agreed to let Haley and her have their own room. Nathan had then insisted on his own room as well. They had three adjoining rooms but Deb had closed her door and disappeared once they were all settled in. To the dismay of Rachel, Nathan and Haley had opened up the doors in between the rooms, in plans of hanging out before going to bed.

As Rachel showered and got ready for bed, Haley wandered into Nathan's room. Nathan couldn't help but laugh as Haley plopped herself on his bed, making herself comfortable. She grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels.

They had spent a lot of time together over the past few days and not just at night. Rachel hadn't been giving him much of a hard time for being around so much which made it easier. Nathan tried to keep things cool when Rachel was around, but there were times he couldn't help the way he naturally touched or looked at Haley in a way that made his feelings apparent. He wasn't sure if Rachel had noticed, but as long as she wasn't giving Haley a hard time, he didn't care.

"Getting ready to spend the night?" Nathan said joining her on the bed.

"Wouldn't you like that?" Haley flirted back.

"I would," he said moving closer. "You have no idea how—"

"You two are disgusting." Haley and Nathan looked up to see Rachel standing in the doorway with a scowl on her face.

"Rachel, we were just going to pick out a movie. What do you want to watch?" Haley said sweetly. She had decided the best approach was to ignore Rachel's comments.

"You think the three of us are going to agree on anything?" Rachel took a seat tentatively on the side of the bed as Haley scooted over.

"No, but…" Haley looked over at Nathan giving him a wicked smile. "Someone," she emphasized, "owes me a chick flick."

"I meant at the movies! Not here! Not with her!"

"You didn't say that! You said I could pick! You didn't say when, and I want it now!" Haley whined.

"Why does he owe you?" Rachel said as she stood up from the bed.

"Yeah, Haley, why don't you tell Rachel why I owe you?" Nathan said with a wide grin on his face. Haley's cheeks began burning as she remembered how she let him look at the thongs Brooke made her buy. She instantly regretted bring up the deal they made.

"You know what? You two obviously have all these inside jokes just for the two of you. I think I'll just let you two lovebirds get it on like you want to!" Rachel said slamming the door between the two rooms.

Haley flew up and tried to open the door, but Rachel had locked it. She began banging on the door, pleading with Rachel to let her in. After five minutes, her hand was beginning to hurt and she sat back down on the bed to take a rest.

"What now?" Haley asked miserably.

"Nothing. Just let her be. She's so stubborn, _she's_ not going to unlock the door until _she_ wants to," Nathan said shaking his head.

"I know you're right, but what if she doesn't?"

"If you ask me Haley, I'm not really torn up about this. She basically gave us permission to—"

"Nathan!"

"What? She did!"

"I'm not going to—"

Nathan sat up and put his arm around her in a show of support. "Worse, come to worse, you'll have to spend the night here, sleeping next to me. Is that really so bad?"

"I guess not," Haley said trying not to smile.

"Maybe we can actually get some sleep tonight too," he said thinking of the nights they had to sneak out.

"Just sleeping, Nate. You can't even kiss me."

Nathan began to laugh but stopped when he realized she was serious. "You're joking, right?"

"No. The last thing we need is Rachel or your mom walking in on us making out."

"Have you seen my mom lately? She's been zoned out taking all these sleeping pills. How do you think we've been able to get away with sneaking out?"

"That's not good, Nathan," Haley said concerned.

"It is what it is," Nathan said brushing it off. He then began to look at Haley with pleading eyes. "Haley…" he whined.

"We can snuggle," Haley said trying her best to be cute.

"Whatever you want. God, I am so whipped," he said lying back down.

After an hour, Haley began to fear that Rachel really was not in fact going to let her back in. Her room had gone quiet and it was getting late.

"My stuff is all in there. Can I borrow one of your shirts again?"

"This is all I have," Nathan said pointing to the shirt he was wearing. "I'll give it to you if you want. I just put it on before we left."

"I guess so. What about you?"

Nathan laughed softly. "I usually only wear my boxers anyway."

"Oh," Haley said blushing.

Nathan took off his shirt and threw it at her.

"Think you can handle sleeping next to this Hales," Nathan said pointing towards himself.

"Puh-lease," she teased as she took the shirt and headed towards the bathroom.

"Just remember, you're the one who said no kissing!" Nathan called out to her as she shut the bathroom door.

* * *

"Nice to see you two got cozy!"

Haley tried to turn around towards the sound of the voice, but Nathan had her in a grip that wouldn't allow her to move. Both exhausted, they had fallen asleep quickly. Haley vaguely remembered Nathan turning off the tv at some point and snuggling up beside her. They had both been on their sides then, but now, Nathan was on his back and she was pressed up against him with her head nestled on his chest.

Haley began gently tapping the side of Nathan's face to wake him. As he began to wake, he loosened his arm from around her waist, allowing her to turn to face Rachel who was standing in the doorway.

"It's not what you think, Rachel," Haley said sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Don't waste your breath, Haley." Nathan pushed up behind her and began rubbing her shoulder. "She's never going to believe that we could just be happy sleeping next to each other."

"Ha!" Rachel laughed.

"Think what you want," Haley said pushing past her and into the room. She quickly grabbed her duffel bag and returned to Nathan's room.

"What now, huh, Rachel?" Haley shouted as she faced Rachel. "Say what you want to say, because I am so sick of all your nasty comments and tantrums! So let's just get it all out now so I don't have to listen to you anymore!" Haley surprised herself as she snapped.

Both Rachel and Nathan were registering shades of shock as well. There had only been a few times when they had seen Haley lose her temper like this over the years. Nathan stood up and took a spot behind Haley, not being able to help but feel proud of her for finally taking a stand against his sister.

"I'm done. Because _it'll never last_," Rachel said looking at both of them. "I'm really not worried about it. Knock yourselves out because I know both of you." Rachel paused before adding, "_My brother could never live up to your standards_."

No matter how hard they tried to fight it, Rachel's words cut through both of them. Rachel had left the room, but her presence lingered the rest of the morning.

Haley showered and got ready in Nathan's room, but began to grow nervous about Deb finding out she had spent the night in Nathan's room. When Nathan went to take his shower, she tested the door between the rooms and was happy to find that Rachel hadn't locked it again. She grabbed her bag and headed back in and laid down her bed. Rachel didn't acknowledge her, which suited her fine.

Much to Haley's relief, Rachel didn't let on about the night's events when Deb came to tell them it was time to check out. It was a silent ride back to the beach house but the tension began to lift when they spotted the repair van in the driveway.

"Thank God!" Rachel said, jumping out of the car. "Let's unpack and hit the beach!"

Haley looked curiously at Nathan, who shrugged in response. Both decided not to question Rachel's mood shift and instead just headed into the house, hoping she had just decided to let go of things for now.

* * *

"It's my last night!"

"I know but she seems like she's really come around. Can't we just all hang out together?" Haley put her arms around Nathan's neck and began to blink profusely.

"Don't do that, Hales," he said smiling.

"What?" she teased.

"You can give me those eyes all day, but I'm not budging. I want to spend my last night with you. _Just you_," he said emphasizing his last words.

"She's not going to like this," Haley complained.

"I don't care!" Nathan said rolling his eyes.

"Fine, but I'm the one who's going to have to deal with her after you're gone!"

"All the more reason for you to just be with me tonight!" Haley looked at him letting him know she still wasn't convinced. "She'll get over it. Just like she did this week," Nathan said softly.

After their respective outbursts, Haley had hoped they had all reached a new understanding. Rachel simply ignored their displays of affection and was able to hang out with them without throwing a fit. This was a vast improvement from Haley's point of view. Nathan had remained skeptical though; convinced she had something up her sleeve. Still, he wasn't willing to let anything ruin his plans for tonight.

* * *

"Where are we going now?" Haley said excitedly as they exited the restaurant.

Nathan had taken her to a very nice and expensive restaurant that was right along the pier of the Riverwalk. He made fun of her when she ordered macaroni and cheese, but Haley didn't seem to mind. He had been a total gentleman otherwise and they'd had a great time telling old stories and gossiping about people they went to school with.

"Well, it's about time for the sunset so I thought maybe we could watch it from the beach?"

"Nathan Scott! Do you have a thing for sunsets?" Haley said ribbing him.

"I have a thing for sunsets and you," Nathan corrected as he pulled her close to him.

Fifteen minutes later, they were settled on a blanket on the beach close to his house. Haley was touched that he had apparently put a lot of thought into the evening, with the reservation he made and the blanket he had stashed in his car.

"I'm going to miss you," Haley said as she snuggled his head onto his shoulder. Nathan put his arm around her and began stroking her arm in response.

"Me too," he signed. "You know what though?"

Haley met his eyes and lightly shook her head.

"This may be my favorite moment with you," he said lightly kissing her forehead. Touched by his words and unable to formulate a response, Haley put her head back down on his shoulder. A minute later, she looked up as he began to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"I guess you don't feel the same, huh?"

"No," Haley said quickly. "It's not that…" Haley straightened herself up and tried to shake off the intensity of his gaze. His eyes, when he looked at her a certain way, could literally make her unable to think clearly. "For me," she continued, "I don't think anything can compare to the night you told me that you were going to marry me someday."

Nathan smiled. "You are—"

"Such a girl," Haley finished laughing. "I know. But it's more like I had imagined things in my mind between us for years and it was like all of sudden I realized I wasn't going crazy and you were right there with me!"

"I can't believe you didn't know. I felt like I was so obvious. I even tried to hide from you at times."

"You're kidding?" Haley said in disbelief.

"No, I wish I was. I just didn't know how to deal with my feelings. And you were so young anyway. I mean, you still are."

"I don't feel that way. This just feels right to me."

"Me too." Nathan gave her a soft kiss before turning back to watch the sunset.

"Tell me again," Haley said putting her head back down.

"How I'm going to marry you?" Nathan laughed.

"Yes! Then, this will be my favorite moment too."

"I'm going to marry you, Haley James," he said mocking himself as he gave her a squeeze.

"And?" Haley said pressing him.

"And I'm going to be a big NBA star and buy you lots of nice things. And you are going to be…"

"A teacher!" Haley answered making him laugh.

"You think the wife of an NBA star is going to be a teacher?"

"Why not?" she questioned.

"Fine. You're going to be a teacher." Nathan paused for a moment and Haley could swear she felt a tenseness enter his body. "And we are going to be happy like your parents and not screw-ups like mine," he added.

"Okay, but we're not going to have six kids like my parents did!" Haley said trying to lighten up the mood.

"No?" Nathan said meeting her eyes. "I thought you liked your big family."

"I love my family and all but…sometimes I just felt lost. For a long time, they just let me be. Now, I feel like my parents are taking out all their parenting mistakes on me," she confided. "I just want a small family. Maybe a boy and a girl. A little boy with your eyes, of course," she said smiling up at him.

Nathan felt a jolt of electricity run through his body at her words. He pulled her tight and whispered, "and I want a little girl just like you."

Haley's lips crashed on to a fierceness that sent him over the edge. Nathan let his emotions take over as he fell back on the blanket taking her with him. He was slightly grateful that their position left her on top of him, but that sound faded as he felt himself losing control. His hands were traveling up and down her back, as her hands grasped at his hair. Then, when her body began to shift against his, Nathan suddenly snapped back to reality. He stopped kissing her and grabbed her hips trying to still her. Haley looked at him curiously. Nathan gently rolled her off him so she was now on her side facing him.

"Sorry," Nathan said quietly. "I just needed you to stop that for a minute," he said closing his eyes.

"Oh," Haley responded embarrassed.

"It's okay. Just give me a minute. Talk my ear off about something stupid like you usually do," he said smiling with his eyes still closed.

"Hey!" Haley said laughing. "Okay, well how about let's talk about what we're going to name our kids."

"Yeah, that should do it."

"So, what about Nathan ? Do you want a son named after you?"

"No way," Nathan answered quickly. "That's more my dad's style. My mom won that battle, luckily. I don't want to be anything like him, Hales," he said opening his eyes. Haley could sense both frustration and sadness in his voice and face. "I'm not going to push my son to be anything like me."

"Okay," Haley said stroking his cheek. "So what names do you like then?"

"I haven't really thought about that, Haley. You can pick, okay?"

"Really?" she asked thrilled.

"Sure," Nathan smiled.

"Okay, well you might not like the name Nathan, but I do. And I want my son to be just like his daddy. So I pick Ethan. It's close enough, but not too close."

"Geez, Hales. I take it back."

"No, you can't! You can pick the girl's name."

"I don't know, Haley."

"Please?"

"Right now?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. How about Lily?"

"That's so sweet!" Haley cooed.

"Haley, you can't tell anyone about this," Nathan said scrunching his face up.

"You're embarrassed?"

"A little. The things I do for you…" Nathan said nodding his head towards her.

"It calmed you down didn't it?" Haley said with satisfaction.

Nathan laughed. "Yeah, it did. But now I'm ready to pick things back up."

"So am I," Haley said pressing back up against him.

"Be gentle with me, Haley?" Nathan said with a smirk. Haley tried to give him a push, but didn't move a bit and just laughed. "That's my girl," he said with a quick laugh before pushing his lips back onto hers.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "Favorite Sin" (Within Reason)

AN: Thank you to those that reviewed. Reviews dropped off after we had some nice Naley time, but things pick up in the next chapter. Lots of drama coming! Any predictions? Hope you enjoy and keep reading. There is a lot more on the horizon. It's a while before we get to the prologue! Hope you stick with it!


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Many thanks to **Pamela**!

Chapter 16: "Favorite Sin" (Within Reason)

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Is that anyway to talk to your father?" Dan said pushing past Nathan and into the dorm room.

"You think you could have warned me? I've got practice all day."

"Didn't Rachel tell you we were coming?"

"We?" Nathan asked confused.

"Rachel's here. She's back at the hotel."

"No, she didn't tell me," Nathan said dryly.

"Maybe if you'd talked to me before you left. Or maybe if you'd return my calls. You know with the cell phone that I pay for? Then, maybe you'd know I was coming for a visit."

"What do you want, Dad?"

"I'm here to spend time with you, see how you're doing here. It was bad enough your mother tried to keep me from my kids for the summer. I won't let that happen again," Dad said with a hint of vengeance.

"What does that mean?" Nathan asked, feeling nervous.

"Listen, I know you have practice but we'll have dinner tonight. 7pm."

"Will Rachel be coming?" Nathan asked hesitantly. He didn't look forward to seeing his sister but at least she could shift the focus off him a little.

"No. She's going to sit this one out. We need to talk."

Oh, shit, Nathan thought. This was not good. He'd been able to push away his family drama for half the summer and now he was going to pay for it.

* * *

Haley's heart began to beat a little faster as the phone began to ring. She took one look at the caller id and sprinted up to her bedroom so she could take the call there. No one was home so she wasn't worried about privacy but she loved nothing more than lying on her bed talking to her favorite guy.

"Hello?" Haley said out of breath.

"Hey," Nathan responded. Haley could already sense something askew in his voice.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing," he answered unconvincingly. "What's new there?"

"Things have been kind of crazy," Haley began. It had only been two days since they last talked and she felt like she had a million things to tell him, but she decided to hold off for now. "What's wrong, Nate? I can tell there's something," she pressed.

"Did you know my dad and Rachel were coming out here?"

Haley took a second to process his question. She felt her heart drop at the idea that he thought she would keep something like that from him.

"No. When are they coming?"

"They're here, Haley," Nathan said miserably.

"Oh my God! I didn't know. I mean, I knew that she was going to spend a couple of weeks with your dad, but I didn't know they were going anywhere."

"Well, as you can tell I was surprised myself."

"Nathan, you can't think I would keep something like that from you. I had no idea, I swear."

"I figured as much. I just had to ask."

"So how long are they staying?"

"I'm not sure. I guess I'll find out at dinner. My dad's making me go tonight. Just me and him," he added with a heavy sign.

"Oh boy," Haley sympathized.

"Yeah," Nathan agreed. "So what's the craziness up there?" Nathan asked refereeing Haley's earlier comment.

"Well, I guess Brooke found out that Lucas and Peyton kissed and—"

"What?" Nathan interrupted. "When did that happen?"

"A long time ago. You mean you didn't know?" Haley asked surprised.

"No. Did you?"

"Yes," she admitted nervously. "I thought Peyton told you. You know, when…" Haley trailed off.

"No, she didn't. Wow! It all makes sense now though."

"What do you mean?"

"You thought I was going after Peyton to get to Lucas. Lucas must have thought it too when we got into that fight. It wasn't like that though. I was so wrapped up in you that I didn't pick up on any of that."

"Nathan, I know I wasn't there, but you were the one who started that fight didn't you?"

"Yeah, but Lucas came at me like I'd never seen him. He was talking about me trying to get under his skin but I thought he was just talking about you."

"Well, you're probably right. I think there's something there. I thought it was over; that's what they told me, but it's all coming out now. I feel bad for Brooke."

"Did they break up?"

"He actually broke up with her before any of this started. Then, Brooke she saw Peyton and Lucas together and started figuring things out. One of them slipped up and mentioned the kiss and all hell broke loose. Now, Peyton and Brooke aren't speaking and I don't know whose side I'm supposed to take."

"Neither. Stay out of it," Nathan advised. "How's Luke? Are Peyton and he together now?"

"No! Peyton told him she didn't want to be with him! I kind of feel bad for him too."

"Wow! Can't believe I'm missing all this Tree Hill drama."

"I know. It's so much easier to enjoy the drama when it's not about us!" Haley said laughing.

"Yeah, we're good, Hales. Even if we have two states between us!" Both of them were smiling on opposite ends of the phone.

"I can't wait to see you again," Haley said as her heart dropped thinking of how she missed him.

"We're over the half way mark. Besides, you have to get used to this, Hales."

"What do you mean?"

"If you're going to be a teacher, you're going have to deal with all my road games," Nathan teased.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Nathan paused as his sinking feelings began to return. "How's my mom, Haley?"

"She's still a little out of it," Haley said reference some of their earlier conversations. They had both noticed Deb not paying much attention anything lately. When Haley stayed with her, Deb let Rachel do whatever she wanted and spent most of the time sleeping. Some days she made it out the beach, and others she never made it out of her bedroom. Haley and Rachel had tried their best to snap and her out of it. It seemed to be working until Rachel left to go stay with Dan. "She's actually been coming by the café, though," Haley added trying to give him some hope.

"Really?" Nathan asked surprised.

"Yeah, I dragged her there a couple of times and she's kind of become friends with Karen."

"You did that?" Nathan was truly touched at Haley's efforts to help his mom.

"It was no big deal. With Rachel gone, I started checking in on her."

"Thank you, Haley," Nathan said softly.

"I miss you," Haley said as she started to tear up. "It kind of helps."

"I miss you too. Look, I have to get going now, but I have something for you."

"What?" Haley said getting excited.

"It's a surprise. I'll send it back with my sister. Don't open it until we talk."

"I won't," Haley promised. "Nathan? Will you call me tonight? After your dinner?" Haley was asking for both of them. She wanted to be there for him, but she also needed to know he was okay.

"I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

"So what did my coaches have to say, Dad? I saw you talking to them today."

"I've been in touch with your coaches for a while," Dan said wiping his mouth with his napkin. "You need to work on staying open. I don't want you blowing a game getting double-teamed like last year."

"It won't be a problem. We're going to have a stronger team this year."

"Are you referring to Lucas?" Dan asked with disgust in his voice.

"He's good, Dad. But I was out for a lot of the season too so we'll get it straight from the go."

"That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about."

Nathan swallowed hard picking up on the word "one."

"I don't want you playing football," Dan said meeting his son's eyes.

"Well, there it is!" Nathan said throwing his napkin his plate. The eating portion of their dinner was clearly over.

"There are going to be scouts coming to see you, Nathan. I've got them all lined up. You can't afford—"

"I'm not quitting the team. Mom already signed the paperwork." Just like for the previous seasons, Nathan hadn't dared to ask for his father's permission to play and instead relied his mother.

"Your mother's not doing so well these days."

"How did you know?" Nathan asked glaring at Dan.

"I know a lot more than you think. I had to go and get Rachel from her. She couldn't even get out of bed to stop me. I also know that she just let you take advantage of Haley while she was staying with you guys."

Nathan's eyes widened at the mention of Haley's name. He was initially caught off-guard as Dan had never had a conversation with him about Haley. After recovering from the shock, Nathan's began blood began to boil. He gripped the sides of his chair, not allowing his father to see his knuckles turning white.

"I guess Rachel's been feeding you this," Nathan said flatly.

"Doesn't matter. It wasn't like you had any parental supervision. I'm not sure the James' would like to hear that." Nathan just sat there, unable to respond. His knew his father had an agenda, he always did, but he didn't expect Haley to be a part of it.

They sat in silence as the waitress came over and cleared the table. When she was gone, Dan leaned over to let Nathan know he was serious.

"I can't stop you from playing football. For now, anyway. But you need focus, Nathan. You can't get injured like you did last season." Nathan nodded, unable to dismiss his words.

Dan gestured for the check and Nathan realized their conversation might be over. Part of him felt relief, but he couldn't let the fact that he brought up Haley go. It would drive him crazy trying to figure out what exactly he meant.

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Nathan said in disbelief.

"I'm your father, Nathan. I'm just concerned about my son. I don't want you hurt and I don't want you blowing your future. Isn't that enough?" Dan took the check from the waitress and put immediately put his credit card in it.

"What about Haley?" Nathan asked bracing himself. He just had to know what his father's angle was when it came to her.

"If you want my advice, Nathan, you need to let her go. She's a distraction right now. You need to focus."

"It's not like that—" Nathan began.

"It is. Look, I like Haley. She's kind of like a daughter to me and I don't want to see her get hurt. You can't tell me you're ready for this now. At seventeen?" Nathan looked at his father confused. In a way, it was as if he was able to read his own fears. "High school is tough, Nathan. It's not a time for serious relationships. You think you have everything under control and then…" Dan eyes lifted off of Nathans as he looked away. "Then, you just end up pushing away the people you care about most. Trust me, _I know_."

Nathan sat there in utter disbelief. He had never once heard his father admit to making a mistake. Furthermore, this was the closest he had ever come to mentioning Karen. He hadn't used her name, but there was no doubt in Nathan's mind that, in his own way, his father was expressing regret about her.

Dan cleared his throat, and began again, "If you're serious about her, Nathan, then you'll wait. Wait until you're both mature, maybe out of college. Haley still interested in Stanford?" Nathan nodded. She had fallen in love with the school ever since her family went on a college visit for her sister, Vivian. The Scotts had heard all about Haley's love for the school many times since. "Well, if you play your cards right, you'll have Duke fighting to have you on their roster."

Nathan took a deep breath trying to taking this all in. It was Dan's tone that threw him off. His seemed to be more honestly concerned about him, as opposed to being bitter or angry. He was talking to him like a father talked to a son, which was a first.

"Just wait until you know for sure that you won't screw it up," Dan added before getting up to leave.

Nathan sat there wondering if his father was really trying to help him out or if he was just played by the masterful Dan Scott.

* * *

Haley looked at her computer screen and felt a wave of relief. She had received an email from Nathan early that morning. She read it over a few times trying to read between the lines: _Sorry I didn't call. Got back too late and needed to get to bed. Everything's fine. I have a busy couple of days so don't know when I'll get to call again. Miss you- Nathan_

Haley knew she should be satisfied; he'd answered all the burning questions that kept her up all night. Why didn't he call? Is he ok? When will I hear from him? Does he miss me?

Yes, he'd addressed all them, but she that didn't make her disappointment go away. She couldn't help but shake the feeling that Nathan was starting to put up his wall again. If she could see him, or maybe even talk to him, she knew she had a chance of getting through to him.

Haley pushed her fears aside, deciding it would be no good to worry. It wasn't like he forgot about her and she knew the program he was in was intense. All she could do was wait it out and deal with it later. Needing a distraction, she picked up the phone and called Brooke. A trip to the mall with Brooke would surely leave her head spinning.

* * *

Nathan felt guilty as he read over Haley's email:

_Nathan, I miss you so much. I hope you're okay. I won't believe it until I hear your voice. I am looking forward to my surprise! Don't forget to give it to Rachel. I'll be looking for it! Good luck with basketball and everything else. I'll be thinking of you. Haley_

She had let him know she wasn't fooled by his email and still wanted to talk to him. He had wanted to call her last night but he just couldn't. He kept hearing his father's words playing over and over in his head. Nathan decided to go into survival mode to try to get through the visit with his father and sister. Later, he would have time to figure things out. Haley's email was making this more difficult than he anticipated.

Nathan picked up the CD he had burned for Haley. It was nothing special, but he knew it she would love it. It was just simple playlist of songs that made him think of her. He imagined her listening to it as she went to sleep or as she hit the beach. Now, he wasn't sure if he wanted her to have it. His feelings about her hadn't changed, but he didn't want to send her mixed signals either. His began to curse his father for messing with his head as usual. Nathan put the CD away, shut down his computer and headed back to practice.

* * *

Haley carefully read over recent their exchange of emails and began to wonder if she was pressuring Nathan too much.

_Nathan, Rachel finally gave me the CD! She kept "forgetting" to bring it over until I finally showed up at your house and demanded it. Anyway, I'm following strict orders and not doing anything with the CD until I talk to you. Please call and end my torture! Haley_

His response read:

_I'm in between practices right now and can't call. You can just listen to the CD. I'm sure you can figure it out. Hope you like it. _

Sitting at her computer, Haley had responded immediately.

_Nathan! I need to talk to you! I'm going to listen, but please call. It won't take long, I promise. I'll wait up. 5 minutes for me to thank you? Please? Haley_

His brief response read:

_I'll call you at 9pm._

They had talked a few times over the past two weeks, but not nearly as much as during the first half of the summer. Enough for Haley to be certain there was a change in Nathan's behavior toward her since Dan and Rachel's visit.

She kept going back to two main theories. One was that Dan did or said something about sports that really got to Nathan. She knew football season was coming up and she surmised it could have been about that, but since everything came back to basketball that was another possibility. The other theory was that Rachel had done something. She didn't know what, since they had been on good terms the rest of her stay at the Scott house, but she found it very suspicious that Rachel kept her trip to Florida a secret and they definitely hadn't been spending time together since she returned home.

Going back to the emails, Haley decided his most recent response was the most encouraging. He would be calling here soon enough.

At 8:30p.m., Haley picked up the phone to make sure there was a dial tone. She lied down on her bed and put the phone next to her hand. She picked up a book and tried to read but she couldn't help looking at the clock every two minutes.

Haley was startled when the phone rang at 8:52pm.

"Hello?"

"Hi," Nathan said as Haley released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in.

"You're early!"

"Am I? Are you busy?"

"No, I'm not," Haley said quickly.

"Did you get to listen?"

"Yes! I couldn't wait. I love it!"

"Do you have a favorite?" Nathan couldn't help but get caught up in her enthusiasm. It was the reason why he had been so hesitant to call; why he had tried not to call so much. When he didn't have to hear her voice, it somehow made it easier to think rationally.

"No. I can't pick."

"Well, you should. You said…" Nathan said trailing off. "Just listen again and let me know."

Haley tried to figure out what he was going to say. She then remembered some conversations they had about songs and their meanings.

"Are these supposed to be songs about us, Nathan?"

"Maybe. I guess they're not if you can't pick one out though."

"It's not that…It's just that I really listen to the lyrics, you know and there are parts of songs that sound like us, but we need an every word song."

"Every word?"

"Yes, every word has to fit for both of us."

"Well, Miss Smarty Pants, why don't you make me a CD? Then, maybe you can appreciate how much time I put into that," Nathan teased her.

"I do appreciate it. I really do. I love it, Nathan. It was just what I needed to get my through these last couple of weeks."

"You know Haley, I head right to football camp from here," Nathan warned her.

"I thought you were going to be home for a day?" Haley whined.

Nathan closed his eyes, remembering how he had told her that. She was definitely making this as difficult as possible for him.

"Yeah, I am but I don't think I'll get the chance to see you. I have to unpack and repack and do all kinds of stuff."

"Oh," Haley said at a loss for words. She never imagined that Nathan wouldn't make time to see her. Haley could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She struggled to hold them back, but knew they were going to start coming sooner or later. She decided she had to get off the phone as soon as possible. "Well, I know you're busy so I guess I'll let you go," Haley said unable to stop her voice from cracking.

"Haley…"Nathan began not sure what to say. Talking to her brought him such turmoil as he brought out the battle between his heart and his head. In the end, it was always his heart that won out. "I'll see you okay. Just don't expect much."

"No, really. It's okay, Nathan. I'll be fine," she said her voice still quivering. "I'll talk you later, okay?"

"Okay. Bye," Nathan said miserably.

"Bye."

Nathan waited for the click before hanging up. He knew she was hurting and it was because of him. Still, he was becoming convinced it was better to hurt her now, instead of later.

He had found some wisdom in the words of his father. He was still convinced Haley was "it" for him but he was equally convinced that he would screw everything up if they got serious too early. He also hadn't thought ahead to college but again his father was right. Their dream schools were 3,000 miles apart. But how long was he supposed to wait? Until Haley graduated from college? That was six years away. What then? Would things just magically work out then after being apart for so long?

Nathan didn't have any of the answers and the more he talked to Haley, the more confused he got. Two weeks from now, he knew it would get even more confusing when he saw her. Then, when school started, it might be near impossible to stay away from her. The only way Nathan could picture him doing that was if he pushed her away completely and embraced his former self; the one that Haley couldn't stand. Yes, it was going to hurt her, but Nathan was even surer it was going to kill him.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Say Goodbye" (Olin & the Moon)

AN: Thank you for reading and especially to those of you that reviewed! I really appreciate it. So warning: next few chapters are drama, drama, drama. Long, long story and I hope you stick with it!


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thanks so much to Pamela for help with this chapter and the story in general!

Chapter 17: "Say Goodbye" (Olin & the Moon)

"Nathan!"

Haley ran out from behind the café counter and pounced on Nathan. She then looked closely at him, and realized he looked different. He was a little more muscular than she remembered, maybe a little taller as well, but it was his eyes that held the biggest difference. The warmth they usually held when they met hers was replaced with something that she couldn't clearly identify. The only thing she could think of was emptiness.

"Hey," Nathan said pulling back. He slightly hesitated before giving her a peck on the cheek.

Haley tried to shrug off the placement of his kiss; at the least she expected a kiss on her forehead. In her fantasies of course, Nathan had grabbed her and kissed her fully on the lips not caring who was around. Haley broke away from her fantasy as she suddenly became aware of the time and his busy schedule. "Oh my God. Hold on! I know you don't have much time. I have something for you!"

Haley returned a minute later and thrust a CD into Nathan's hands.

"Here! It's my playlist. Let me know what you think," Haley said proudly.

"Sure," he said hesitantly. Nathan casually looked around the café. "So how's it going here?"

"Good. Karen's back, but I'm sticking around to help out." Haley began to feel awkward at their combined efforts at small talk. She couldn't believe how she had missed him so much, how she had dreamed of seeing him again in the flesh for eight weeks and now she couldn't think of a single meaningful thing to say. Nathan wasn't helping the situation either as he stood there fiddling with the CD, continuing to look around. In fact, he seemed to be looking everywhere but at her.

"That's good," Nathan said finally. He glanced at a set of customers coming in the door. "I guess I better let you get back to work."

"Will you be around later?" Haley couldn't help but ask.

"There's actually a football…meeting." Haley knew the meeting was most likely a party. She tried her best to put on a smile, but could only manage a weak one.

Nathan tried his best not to let her fake smile bother him. He gave her a hug, determined not to have to look into her eyes again. It was those eyes that always got to him. "I'll see you later," Nathan said quickly exiting.

Haley stood there watching him leave. She was looking for anything at this point. Any sign that he still cared for her in some way; any sign of their relationship was still the same one it was before he left. She told herself if he just turned around and waved, it would mean something. If he would just give her a quick nod, she'd take that. But he didn't turn around at all. He walked down the street and in a minute was totally out of her view. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her heart. The trouble was, now he was consuming her mind as well.

* * *

Haley didn't think she had fallen asleep, but she must have because she woke with a start, hearing a soft tapping on her window.

She tentatively headed over to the window and lifted her shade and jumped back. Nathan was perched on the edge of roof of the front porch.

"What are you doing?" Haley whispered.

"Can I come in?" It was dark out and she couldn't really see him all that well. Haley opened up her window and stood back trying to figure out if was even possible for him to come in that way. Before she could think anymore about it, Nathan began climbing in. He stumbled over her and took a seat on her bed.

"What are you doing?" Haley asked, annoyed as she tried to keep her voice down.

"I don't know," Nathan answered miserably. "I just needed to see you."

Haley was growing more confused by the minute. So he needed to see her so badly that he was crawling in her window and yet he was miserable about it? And what about earlier when he barely gave her the time of day?

"Why? Why now? It's…" Haley glanced over at her clock. "It's three a.m.! My parents are going to kill you."

"That's why I came in through the window!" Nathan said laughing. Haley leaned over and looking directly into his eyes. She examined him as close as she could him, so close he leaned back a little.

"Are you drunk?" she asked incredulously.

"Probably," Nathan said with a crooked smile.

"Nathan!" Haley admonished him.

"What, Haley? Don't make me leave. I can't climb down that window right now," Nathan said as he laid down her bed.

"Just make yourself at home then," Haley said sarcastically. Not picking up on her tone, Nathan sat up and began taking off his sneakers, leaving him in a pair of gym shorts and Ravens football t-shirt.

Nathan looked at Haley who was standing in front of the bed. He grabbed her hands and tried to pull her towards him, but she resisted. His gazed turned very serious and Haley was nervous there might be a hint of anger in the dark shade of his eyes.

"You can't stay, Nathan. My parents would kill me," Haley said softly.

"Don't make me leave. Please, Haley. I just want to go to sleep. I'll be quiet and I'll leave before they get up." Haley stood there unconvinced. "I just need to hold you. Please?" Nathan pleaded.

"Just for a little bit…" Haley said not being able to refuse him. Truthfully, she wanted him to hold her too; it was just that his unpredictability was making her nervous.

The words were barely out of her mouth when Nathan got under her covers. He put his arm out for her to join him, but Haley walked around to the other side of the bed to get in. She just wasn't sure she wanted to open herself up to him right then.

As she climbed into bed, she saw Nathan looking at her curiously. As soon as she got under the covers, Nathan pulled them back and sat up, leaning over her.

"Are you wearing my shirt?"

Haley began to blush as she pulled the covers back up. She now had two of Nathan's shirts now and she had been rotating them as her nightshirts ever since he left for Florida.

"Yes," Haley answered finally. "But it doesn't smell like you anymore," she added quietly.

With that, Nathan quickly began to pull off his shirt. Luckily for Haley, he was fumbling a bit and she was able to reach over and stop him before he got it completely off.

"Don't!"

"Why? It's a football one anyway. You don't have one of those."

"I can't…I can't sleep next to you with no shirt on," she admitted.

"Why, Haley? You think I'm sexy?" he asked smiling.

"Go to sleep," Haley said crossly as she tried to recover from her embarrassment. She obviously hadn't anticipated seeing him tonight like this and felt foolish considering their earlier awkward encounter.

"There is no way I can go to sleep now," Nathan said as he moved up against her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her on her side facing him.

"Nathan!" Haley said trying to stifle her giggles as Nathan began to pepper her neck with kisses. His lips eventually worked their way up to hers as he began to hungrily kiss her.

Haley struggled to breathe as Nathan continued to kiss her with an intensity she had never experienced before. Haley felt her need for him growing just as strong as she began to kiss him back. Minutes later, they were both forced to pull away to catch their respective breaths.

Slowly, Haley's heart started to return to a normal rhythm and her head began to clear. She could feel Nathan's heart, on the other hand, still beating fast and she could see the lust in his eyes as he licked his lips and began to move back towards her as he wrapped his arms on her waist.

"I can smell the alcohol on your breath. I can even taste it," Haley said not being able to hold back any longer.

Nathan closed his eyes and buried his face at her neck. On instinct, Haley began stroking his head. She had never seen him like this before and wasn't sure how to act. The alcohol seemed to make his behavior even more erratic, but was it definitely his vulnerability that was now throwing her for a loop.

"I'm sorry, Haley," Nathan said his voice slightly muffled. "For all of it," he said pushing up to look her in the eye.

"It's okay," Haley couldn't help but say.

"It's not. I've been such a jerk. I keep screwing things up and I don't want to hurt you."

"Then, don't," she said softly. "I'm right here, Nathan."

"I know you are _now_ but…" he trailed off as he rested his head next to hers on her pillow.

"But what? Tell me, Nathan," she said stroking his hair.

"Nothing. Just don't write me off, Haley. Please don't," he said closing his eyes.

"I won't. But you have to _come back to me_."

"I will. _Always_."

"What about now?"

Haley waiting for a response but only noticed his breaths getting deeper. After a minute, she was sure he was asleep. She lay there for a while, watching him sleep. Realizing she wasn't going to get her answer that night, she eventually she drifted off to sleep as well.

When Haley woke up a few hours later, Nathan was gone, but in his place was his football t-shirt. Haley pulled the shirt into her arms and pressed it to her chest, taking in his scent. It was all she had of him and that would have to be enough for now.

* * *

"Remember us last time this year, Luke?"

"Oh yeah. You were this scared little freshmen and you did wouldn't let me leave your side?" Lucas said as he playfully nudged Haley.

"I was not!" Haley said nudging him back. "I always get nervous the first day of school."

"So you're nervous now?" Lucas said eyeing her carefully.

Haley was a bundle of nerves but it really wasn't because of school. She hadn't talked to Nathan since the night he climbed in her window. She knew he was back from football camp and had hoped he would call, but wasn't surprised when he didn't.

Haley hadn't talked to Rachel much lately either. She knew that she was still staying with her dad, and that was upsetting Deb. Deb hadn't been by the café in the past two weeks and when Haley stopped by to visit, she wouldn't answer the door. Haley even tried let herself in, but she was surprised to find the door locked. She had been pretty sure Deb was there since she could hear the tv from outside. Haley followed up with a phone call to Rachel, but she hadn't heard back from her.

"I'm a little nervous about my course load. Did you finish the AP lit summer reading?"

"Yeah. Didn't you?" Lucas asked surprised.

"I did, but I think I'm going to head to first block early to talk to Mrs. Burns about it. Want to come?"

"I need to find my locker first. I'll see you there? Unless you don't want to be alone?" Lucas teased her.

"Shut up!" Haley said smiling back.

A minute later Haley's stomach twisted into knots as she walked into Mrs. Burns room.

Nathan was standing at her desk about to hand her a paper when they locked eyes. Nathan promptly dropped the paper which landed at Haley's feet. Haley bent over and picked up the paper and awkwardly handed it back to him.

"Thanks," Nathan said taking the paper. He paused a moment before turning his attention back to the teacher.

"So here's my resume. I don't need it until for a while but I wanted to drop this off before I forgot."

Haley meanwhile shuffled to the back of the room and took a seat. She began to move things around in her bag, trying to look preoccupied but she didn't have much in it yet. She settled for taking out her planner and pretended to immerse herself in it.

"Wow, Nathan. You're actually trying to get ahead of the game this year, huh? I see Haley's been a good influence on you," Mrs. Burns replied, as they both looked at Haley.

Nathan gave her a weak smile before turning back around. "Yeah, I guess."

"Where are you applying?"

"My number one is Duke but we'll see how basketball season goes. I'm hoping to get some scouts out to see me. I know they look at academics too, so I'm sure your letter will really help."

"No problem. Why don't you see me in the middle of October? I'd like to put in some things about how well you are doing this year as well."

"Right," Nathan said laughing. He knew she was trying to motivate him to keep his grades up. "Sounds good. Thanks again."

Nathan turned back and saw Haley writing ferociously. Nathan chuckled to himself as he wondered what the hell she could be writing on the first day of school. Before he could think about it anymore, he walked over and took the seat in front of her.

"Hey."

"Hey," Haley replied barely looking up. She began to feel her cheeks getting red and began to silently curse herself. She hated the simplest things from him could have an effect on her like that.

"How's it going?"

"Fine," she said finally looking up. "How about you?"

"Okay. Things have been kind of crazy," he admitted.

"Is everything okay?" Haley asked growing concerned.

"It's kind of a long story. I guess you haven't talked to Rachel, huh?"

"No, she hasn't returned my calls."

"That's Rachel for you."

Haley waited hoping he would continue, but she realized he was done as he began to look around the room. She then felt the need to remind him that he could talk to her about whatever was going on.

"Do you want to—"

"I'm good," Nathan interjected not wanting her finish. "Well, I have to get going. I have Fischer first block." Nathan stood up and began turning towards the doorway.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later?" Haley asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sure," he answered with a sigh, as he began to walk away.

The vagueness of his response left Haley feeling desperate. She began to panic she might not get the chance to talk to him for a while.

"Nathan!"

Nathan turned around but stayed in place.

"Did you get to listen to the CD yet?" Haley blurted out, saying the first thing that came to her mind.

"No, not yet," he answered unable to meet her eyes.

"Oh," Haley said disappointed.

The warning bell rang breaking their silence. Nathan gave her a quick nod and promptly exited the room.

Haley put her head down on her desk as she began to replay their encounter in her head. She truly couldn't imagine it going any worse.

"You really couldn't deal without me, huh?"

Haley looked up as Lucas took the seat next to her. To her surprise, he looked just as miserable as her.

"Ever think things were simpler last year? When we were just freshmen trying to learn our way around a new school?"

Haley nodded in agreement. "Why? What's up?"

"Lockers are not alphabetical this year."

"So?"

"My locker is in basically in between Brooke and Peyton's," Lucas said miserably.

Haley burst into a fit of laughter. "Thanks, Luke! I needed that!"

"Glad I can be a source of your amusement," Lucas said still not smiling.

* * *

"I heard your little fling was over," Rachel said taking the seat next to Haley in their health class. "How are you holding up?"

"Rachel! You haven't returned any of my calls!" Haley chided her, ignoring her comments.

"I wasn't sure you wanted to speak to me. Thought I'd might remind you of my brother."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Haley said shifting in her seat.

"I know he kicked your ass to the curb. Didn't take too long either. You should have seen the cheerleaders after him in Florida. I lost count how many I saw him flirting with. I didn't want to tell you, but once I realized you two weren't talking anymore, well then, I knew it was over. I'm just glad he's not leading you on anymore." Rachel then shifted gears and turned peppy. "So are you going to the party tonight?"

"What party?"Haley asked her head spinning.

"At Damien's beach house. Oh, wait. I'm guessing you aren't invited. I'd invite you but I'm not sure if I'm even going to be there anyway. I'll probably have other plans. You shouldn't go anyway. I heard my brother talking with guys and they're taking dibs on the freshmen. Don't worry though. It's not serious. I guess all the football seniors took a pledge not to have a steady girlfriend senior year."

Haley looked at Rachel in disbelief. It was one thing for Rachel to try and tell Haley all this in an effort to protect her, but this did not appear to be the case. Instead, Haley became convinced that she was the target of Rachel's spiteful side, a side she always knew existed but had never experienced firsthand, and that was something she didn't wish on anyone.

* * *

"Haley, did you hear about the party tomorrow night?" Lucas asked as he leaned against the locker next to hers.

"At Damien's? Yeah, I heard some people talking, but it's not like I'm invited," Haley said as she stuffed some books into her locker.

"I am. You want to go?"

"Who invited you?" Haley asked unable to hide her surprise.

"That's real nice, Hales. Jake did. He said that he'd drive us."

"Jake's back?"

"Guess so."

"Sure," Haley said confidently.

"Really?" Lucas asked raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah. I haven't been to a party in a while. Why not?"

"Okay, but you do know there will be drinking and you do know who is going to –"

"I can take care of myself, Lucas!"

"Alright, but I may need you to take care of me, Hales."

"What do you mean? Are you going to drink?"

"Maybe, but it's more that. Peyton and Brooke will be there."

"They're still not talking to you?"

"Peyton is and I'm hoping I can make things right with Brooke."

"Good luck with that!"

"Geez, Hales. That's twice now you've taken a stab at my ego! What's with this feisty Haley James?"

"It's a new year, Luke."

* * *

"See that girl over there?" Damien said pointing. "She's got a thing for jocks. Bet I can score with her by the end of the night."

"Isn't she a freshman?" Nathan asked taking a sip from his red cup.

"Yeah. Her name's Gigi. You want first dibs?"

"I'm good. She's all yours," Nathan said looking away uncomfortably.

"What about me?" Tim asked joining them.

"You don't have a chance," Damien said laughing.

"Oh yeah? I think she'd love a little taste of Timmy."

"Tim, just say you're horny," Nathan said shaking his head.

"Oh look, your _girlfriend_ is here, Nate," Damien began. "Wait. Is she here with her _other boyfriend_?"

Nathan squinted in disbelief at Haley, who was wearing a tight thin-strapped red top that had ended a couple of inches about her tightly fitted jeans. She was standing next to Lucas looking nervously around the room.

"So she'll come here with him, but she wouldn't go with you?" Tim chimed in.

"Shut up, Tim," Nathan said crossly before downing the rest of his drink.

"Seriously, Nate? You okay with her coming her dressed like that with him?" Damien asked, egging him on further.

"They're just friends. We are too. _Just friends_," Nathan said feeling sick as he said the words.

"Well if that's the case, I'm going to make my move tonight!" Tim said with a bright smile.

Tim no sooner had the words out of his mouth when Nathan grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall.

"YOU…LEAVE….HER…ALONE…" Nathan gritted through his teeth.

Damien pulled Nathan off of Tim and shoved him into a nearby room.

"What the hell, Nate?" Damien asked angrily.

Nathan didn't respond as he tried to steady his breathing. He felt like his heart was about to jump out his chest and couldn't talk even if he wanted to. There were really no words he wanted to say at that moment anyway.

"You know what I think?" Damien continued. "I think that girl got into your head. And THAT GIRL is a stuck up bitch who doesn't deserve you anyway! She goes around acting like she's too good to be seen with you. You need to put her in her place. And if you don't, _I will_," Damien warned looking directly at him.

"What does that mean?" Nathan asked driven to words.

"Tim's got the right idea. She's dressed like a slut tonight and she should be expected to be treated like one."

Nathan's anger suddenly became replace with fear. Damien was used to getting what he wanted and he wasn't sure what lengths he would go to get it.

"I'll take care of this," Nathan said springing into action as he pushed past Damien.

* * *

Haley knew something was going on but she couldn't tell what. There seemed to be some type of fight taking place in the kitchen out her view. Jake had left them to try and find out what was going on and a minute later he returned with Tim who was rubbing the side of his neck.

Tim eyed her as he walked past her, causing Lucas to protectively put his arm around her. Haley began to get very nervous about being there. She had taken a risk wearing a shirt Rachel had bought for her. She had been unconsciously tugging at her top ever since she put it on, not liking how her stomach was slightly exposed.

"What's going on, Luke?" Haley asked looking around. She felt like everyone was looking at her.

"I'm not—" Lucas stopped as the room fell silent as Nathan flew out of the kitchen. He was clearly on a mission and Haley forced herself to look away as his eyes met hers. She recognized that look in his eye and tried to step out of his way as he headed towards them. Before she knew it, Nathan grabbed her arm and began pulling her towards the stairs.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "My Happy Ending" (Avril Lavigne)

AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who reviewed! I also just wanted to highly recommend you check out Olin & the Moon, if you haven't already. They are one my favorites that OTH introduced me to and I LOVED their performance in 8x20. "Say Goodbye" was really fitting for this chapter are so are the ones I picked out for 18 and 19. I would love to hear about your fav OTH music!

Lastly, I hope you keep reading! If you're on the fence about it because you're not sure where it's going, pm me and I will answer any questions you have.


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: As usual, I can't thank **Pamela** for all her help, especially lately!

Chapter 18: "My Happy Ending" (Avril Lavigne)

Nathan basically had to drag Haley up the stairs, as she stumbled behind him. As they entered the hallway, which housed a long series of closed doors, Haley struggled to keep up with him despite his tight grip on her hand. Along the way, Nathan opened the doors to rooms and closed them so fast Haley didn't even have the chance to see what was in them. He finally settled on an empty room that looked like a guest room. It had a small bureau, full size bed and nightstand, but didn't contain any personal objects that Haley could pick out.

Nathan pulled her inside and closed the door. Just as quickly, he dropped her hand and walked over to the window.

Haley looked at him, his back to her, and began to get very irritated. He was wearing a red polo shirt and had his hands in the pockets of his jeans. She took a seat on the bed facing away from him. She was determined not to be the first to speak. He was the one who literally dragged her there and Haley began to silently fume as she thought of how embarrassed she was. He had made quite the scene and she imagined everyone talking about her as she sat on the bed, while he ignored her.

After a minute, she could feel his eyes on her and she began to brace herself. She expected him to speak or walk towards her, but he didn't. When she couldn't take it anymore, Haley got up and began to walk towards the door. He had made enough of a fool of her for the night.

"Haley, wait." Haley had her hand on the doorknob but stopped as a shiver swept through her body as she sensed the desperation in his voice. She dropped her hand from the knob, but stood in place as she heard him approaching.

Haley fought an intense urge to turn around. She knew if she did, she would get lost in his eyes. She tried to listen to the voice in her head telling her to continue on her way and head out the door and never look back.

"You promised," Nathan said his voice slightly cracking.

Haley slowly turned around to find him standing directly in front of her, his eyes blazing blue. Nathan quickly threw his arms around her. Haley complied with her heart, as she snuggled her head into his chest and he squeezed her tighter. No matter how much she fought it, she couldn't help but feel at home with his arms around her and that was feeling she missed over the past few months.

Nathan was the first to pull away. He shook his head as he looked her up and down.

"Why are wearing this, Hales?" he asked softly, his eyes stopping on her skimpy top.

"Is that was this is about?" Haley asked in amazement.

"No. It's just…That looks like something out of Rachel's closet. Like something you said you'd never wear."

"And you said you pictured me wearing this!" Haley pointed to the top Rachel had bought her almost a year ago for her birthday.

"Is that why—"

"No, Nathan! You don't get to talk to me like this! Not after going for weeks without speaking to me!"

"I know I have no right, Haley. It's just…I don't want you to change."

"You mean like how you haven't changed?" she challenged him.

"Haley, you know me better than anyone else. Those were your words." Haley flinched, hating how he threw her own words back in her face.

"Well, I feel like I don't know you at all right now."

Nathan moved one of his arms around her waist and his other to the side of her face. "You do," he said as he looked intently into her deep brown eyes. "Let me remind you."

Nathan knew it was wrong, and worse, he knew she was thinking the same thing. But both of them cast aside their thoughts as they gave into their feelings.

Nathan moved his hands to her face and pulled her towards him. Their mouths quickly began to move in unison, kissing each other with a fierceness that didn't allow room for thinking. Haley gave a soft moan as she felt his hands shift to her back going underneath her shirt. The feel of his hands on her bare skin sent her into a bit of a frenzy as she began to lean further into him. Nathan took a few steps back in response, taking her with him until they reached the bed. Without breaking their kiss, Nathan pulled them down on the bed, leaving Haley on top of him.

"Haley," Nathan muttered as Haley's lips moved to his neck. "God, I love it when you—" Nathan stopped when Haley's head sprung up. "What?"

"Nathan, I don't know…I don't know if this is a good idea." Haley said shifting off of him to her side.

"You look so sexy, Haley," Nathan whispered huskily in her ear. Haley couldn't help but smile as she read the lust in his darkening eyes.

"I thought you didn't like me dressed like this."

"I didn't say that. I just don't want you to change," Nathan muttered before leaning back in to take her in a kiss. Haley's arms flew back around him as he rolled on top of her. Then, just like last time, Haley's inner voice began to take over.

"Why are you only nice to me when no one else is around?" she asked, struggling to break free from his kisses.

"I'm sorry, Hales, I just—"

"Nice job, Scott! Guess you did take care of her, huh?"

Haley felt Nathan's weight shift onto her as he suddenly lifted his head towards the doorway. She couldn't see him, but she clearly recognized Damien's voice.

Nathan sat up and Haley was disgusted to see Damien smirking as he stood in the frame of the doorway.

"Whoa! Don't let me stop you two. See, Haley? That's what you get for dressing like a slut."

Nathan instantaneously jumped off the bed, but Damien had closed the door before he reached him. Nathan stood there stuck in place trying to contain his emotions. If he went after Damien, there was no telling what he would do. What he felt like doing was pummeling the shit out of him. He hesitated, as he turned his attention to Haley.

Haley had tears in her eyes by the time Nathan turned around to face her. He could barely look at her as she got up of the bed and began straightening herself out. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a single tear fall down her face and he felt his insides beginning to crumble. He took a step towards her, but she quickly pushed passed him and out the door.

Nathan closed his eyes and directed his anger at the wall. In single shot, his fist punched a hole in the wall.

Haley ran as fast as she could down the hall and then the stairs, praying not to run into Damien. She quickly spotted Lucas in the same place she left him. Lucas ran over to her and guided her out of the front door of the house.

"What happened, Haley?"

Haley broke into a full sob as Lucas put his arm around her. She let everything out for a couple of minutes before regaining her composure so she could answer him.

"He called me a slut!" was all Haley could manage to get out at first.

"Nathan?" Lucas asked as he broke away from her and began clenching his fist.

"No, Damien. He, kind of walked in on Nathan and I…" Haley stammered. "He said something like Nathan was handling me well since I was dressed like a slut."

"What?" Lucas asked in disbelief.

"I'm not sure, Luke. I don't know exactly what he said. But it was like he was trying to say he told Nathan to take me upstairs and …" Haley trailed off as she began crying again.

"I should have gone after you. Nathan looked pissed, but I thought you two had this special thing and he wanted to talk to you and cool down or something."

"I don't know what to think. We do have a special thing. Or used to. I don't know anymore," Haley said shaking her head. "He's told me things, Luke," she said looking at him in the eye, "Things that mean a lot to me," she emphasized, "but then he's like a different person when his friends are around."

"Well, he is going through a lot, Hales."

"Why are you defending him?" Haley said raising her voice.

"I'm not. But now that he's probably going to have to go live with Dan soon and—"

"What are you talking about?" Haley interrupted.

"You didn't know?" Lucas asked surprised.

"And you did?" Haley asked angrily. She was sick of the Scott boys and how they kept secrets from her. "When did you two become so close?"

"We kept in touch over the summer and now that our mom's are friends, my mom's really pushing for Deb to go to a treatment center—"

"Treatment center?"

Lucas began to shift nervously at her questions. "Look, Haley, I really don't think it's my place to tell you this stuff. You need to talk to Nathan. Rachel, too. I'm thinking they both probably need you right now."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Haley yelled stomping her feet. "Neither one of them will talk to me! And what about you? Whose friend are you anyway? "

"Yours, Hales but he is my cousin. I know it wasn't like that before but it is now. Would you just calm down?"

"No, Lucas, you don't get it! Do you have any idea what it's like to have the most important people in your life shut you out like that? And after everything we've been through! I don't deserve this!"

"I know you don't, but—" Lucas stopped as Nathan came out the front door, nursing his left hand, with Jake at his heels. They were followed by Brooke and Peyton. Haley was surprised to see the girls together. They both shared a looks of concern and she was grateful they had been able to temporarily put aside their differences to try and help her out.

"Drive her home," Nathan shouted at Jake as he caught Haley and Lucas out of the corner of his eye.

As Nathan got closer he couldn't help but look at Haley and notice her red face and puffy eyes laced with fresh tears. He began to feel pains forming in his chest as his heart rate picked up, and quickly looked away. As Jake and the girls joined Lucas and Haley, Nathan kept walking, determined to get out of there as quickly as possible. As he headed towards his car, he took a quick look over his shoulder and saw all them staring at him.

"Get her out here _now_!" Nathan barked before picking up his pace again.

Haley jumped at his words. She was so hurt by him, yet at the same time she wanted to help him. She turned to Lucas, grabbing his arm.

"You have to go with him, Luke," Haley said giving him a slight push.

"Haley!" Lucas said, trying to resist her. "I can't leave you like this."

"Please," Haley said with desperation. "Brooke and Peyton are here and Jake too. He," Nathan pointed towards Nathan, "needs you now more than I do. You know more than me and you said yourself—"

"Fine," Lucas said as he sprinted off towards Nathan. She watched as Nathan only looked up briefly as Lucas caught up with him. She let out the breath she'd been holding in when she saw them both get in the car.

"Let's go. I'll drive you all home," Jake said as he jiggled his car keys.

"Tutor Girl, what is going on?" Brooke asked concerned as she began to follow them.

Haley gave her a worried look but couldn't bring herself to speak. There was no simple answer to her question.

Once they got into the car, Haley finally spoke up.

"I don't want to go home, Jake," Haley said miserably. She needed time to calm down and she hoped Brooke and Peyton could help her do that now that Lucas was gone.

"We can go to my house," Peyton offered. "My dad's away for the next couple of weeks."

"Sounds good," Jake responded. "Um, do you want me to call Nathan and tell him?"

"No," Haley said quickly. She leaned back in the car and closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was content to let Lucas deal with Nathan and looked forward to getting some girl attention from Brooke and Peyton. She hoped they could give her some insight on this whole mess and maybe even reestablish their friendship in the process. As for her friendship with Nathan, she was not sure more than ever it was not possible for them to just be friends.

* * *

"Slow down, Nate!" Lucas said as he tried to steady himself by clutching the dashboard.

"I didn't ask you to come!" Nathan shot back. He caught Lucas looking at his left hand, which was covered in dried blood along his knuckles. He quickly moved his left hand from the steering wheel, only using his right hand to drive from that point on.

"Are you going to tell me what happened in there?" Lucas finally asked when they slowed down a bit.

"I wanted to kill, him, Luke" Nathan said though his clenched jaw. "I still do. Jake found me before I could get to him."

"What happened to your hand, then?"

"The wall," Nathan admitted without looking at him.

"That's probably good you didn't get to Damien. It's better that we all left when we did."

"I'll deal with him later," Nathan said not letting go of his anger.

"You've got to be careful, Nate," Lucas said catching his eyes. Nathan remained silent as Lucas continued. "That family is into bad things."

"Tell me about it. I think my dad is too."

"Really?" Lucas asked surprised.

"I don't know how deep he's in, but he started working with the West family when he ran for mayor."

"Oh," Lucas replied, not needing any more explanation. Lucas's mom had actually run against his father and even though she was showing a major lead in the polls, she ended up losing at the last minute. There was some talk of the election being rigged, but there was never any proof. Most people assumed the support of the very wealthy West family had influenced the voting.

That was before the scandals about the West's and their involvement in the local crime syndicate broke. The police had tried to charge various members of the family and their associates with bribery and money laundering, but none of the charges had been able to stick. Most people in the town had begun to wonder how deep their connections were, as they seemed to have even infiltrated the legal system. Today, when most people heard of the West's, they felt a slight sense of fear and not just because of their money and power.

"Why is he after Haley?" Lucas asked, as he still tried to work everything out.

"Who knows? I know she's never taken of his shit and he's not used to that but…I'm pretty sure he's trying to fuck with me now."

"High Flyers?"

"Probably. My dad said Mr. West made some type of threat toward us when he found out I was the one to get in. Dan told me watch my back but I don't know if he said that for my sake or his own!"

Nathan stopped the car as they arrived at the River Court. They both got out the car and took a seat on the nearby bleachers.

"She hates me now," Nathan said as he studied his feet. He knew that Lucas had the chance to talk to Haley and he could only imagine what she had told him.

"Haley's not like that. You know that. She doesn't hate people," Lucas said seriously. "Except maybe Damien."

"That's nothing new. I can't have her look at me like that too," Nathan said dejected.

"She won't, but what the hell is going on, Nate? Why are you pushing her away? I mean, even I know more about what's going on with you than she does!"

"You told her?" Nathan said looking directly at him.

"I thought she knew!"

Nathan shook his head. "I couldn't…I can't," he stammered.

"Why not?"

"I'm no good for her right now. Things are not good. It's all I can do to get through football season."

"And what about after football season? Then, we have basketball. I mean, when does it stop Nate? How long are you going to keep this going?"

"I don't know," Nathan said with a heavy sigh.

"You need to tell her. It's eating her up inside. She won't say it, but I can see it in her."

"I know. I'm just not sure I can do it. She has this way of…" Nathan trailed off.

"Then just let her in and tell her everything. I know how you feel about her and so does everyone else. Look, you know we're close and I know we're cousins and all, but I can't let you treat her like this. Something's got to give. Just think about it." Nathan looked at him, clearly conflicted. Lucas then switched gears, leaving time for Nathan to think about his advice. "So is your mom going to enter that treatment center?"

"She's trying to push it off but I think she's going to go next week. I feel bad but she's trying to work it out so I can still play football."

"Dan?"

"She's afraid when I go to live with him, he'll pull me off the team."

"Can he?"

"We're not sure. The fact that my mom is even thinking about this is a good sign. She was in such a stupor when I got home I wasn't sure she even remembered I was playing." Nathan paused growing more serious. "I have your mom to thank for that. My mom really needed that intervention."

"Well, I know it's kind of weird, but they're close now so, I guess we're really family, huh?"

"Since I'm family, think I can come live you then?" Nathan said joking as he got up.

"I could ask," Lucas said seriously.

"I was kidding, Luke. My dad would kill me first," Nathan said as he grabbed his basketball out of the car.

"If you need us, Nate…"

"Thanks," Nathan said with a weak smile as he tossed the ball at Lucas. "Let's go, little cousin," he said as they stepped out onto the court dribbling the ball with his right hand. "Let's see if I can take you with one hand!"

* * *

Haley pushed the birthday balloons out of her way as she walked through Peyton's door. She quickly surveyed the scene and saw the most of the people she expected to. There was one glaring exception but she hadn't really expected him to be there. Still, she felt her heart sunk no matter how much she had tried to prepare herself. It was better that he wasn't there anyway, she told herself. At least, Peyton and Brooke had seemed to work out their differences as they began laying out bowls of food.

"Happy Birthday, Haley!" Rachel said putting her arm around her. "I mean this is nothing like the bash I threw for you last year but I guess it's more you." Haley had mixed emotions when Brooke had told her that Rachel would be there. Now that Haley knew that Deb had entered a chemical dependence treatment center, she was disappointed that Rachel hadn't shared that with her personally. She was also still a little upset at Rachel's comments the last time they spoke.

"It is. Thanks for coming," Haley said forcing herself to smile. She couldn't help but think of the "best friends" framed picture Rachel had given her last year. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Of course! When would I ever turn down a party?" Rachel said laughing. Haley couldn't help but feel that even that comment was a dig. Lest she ever forget, it was always more about the party for Rachel.

"Right," Haley said dryly.

Haley tried to enjoy her party because it really was, just as Rachel had noted, more her style than last year's bash. There was some alcohol, which Haley didn't touch, but no keg. There weren't many people there and Haley knew all of them. She knew she should also be happy for Lucas' sake now that he and Brooke seemed to be on good terms again. Peyton's budding romance with Jake didn't hurt things either. None of them were sure why Jake had disappeared in the first place, but now he was back and giving Peyton a lot his attention. None of this was serving as a sufficient distraction for Haley as she kept one eye pealed on the door.

"Haley, think you could come with me for a sec?" Lucas said as she finished opening the last of her presents.

"Sure," Haley said suspiciously as she followed him to the front door.

"I have one more present for you." Haley looked at his hands but only noticed him holding a phone.

Lucas opened the front door and stepped aside. There, at the top of Peyton's walkway stood Nathan.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Walk Away" (Kelly Clarkson)

AN: Thank to all of you that reviewed! It really means a lot to me! As the story develops and gets more complicated it is taking me more time to write. I am still hoping to post two chapters a week, but might only get to one as life continues to be hectic! I hope you keep reading and enjoying the story. From what you read so far- what do you think should happen? I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thanks to Pamela for her continued help and support!

Chapter 19: "Walk Away" (Kelly Clarkson)

Haley looked back at Lucas hesitantly.

"Go," Lucas said softly as he gestured towards Nathan, who was standing there looking at them with his hands in the pockets of his varsity jacket.

Haley stepped out Peyton's front door and reluctantly walked towards him.

"Can we go for a walk?" Nathan asked, shifting his feet as she reached him.

"I guess."

"So, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday." Haley looked at him but didn't respond. "Happy 16th Birthday, Hales." he said sincerely.

"But you didn't come to the party," Haley said not letting him off the hook.

"I wasn't sure you wanted me to."

"Well maybe if you had talked to me, then you'd know!"

"It's kind of easier if we don't," Nathan said unable to meet her eyes.

Haley immediately stopped and crossed her arms, glaring at him.

"Why?" she demanded.

Nathan swallowed hard as he closed his eyes trying to muster every ounce of strength he had. He had rehearsed this many times in his head. Each time, he prepared himself for the look of disgust and hurt that would appear on her face. Each time, he also told himself that his father was right and that it was better to hurt her now, instead of later. It was all inevitable anyway.

"Because I don't want to have a girlfriend my senior year," he muttered.

"Is that why you can't even look at me?" Haley spewed.

"I know I should have told you sooner, but I didn't realize how hard this would be, how much work it would be."

"Me? That's what I am to you? Work?"

"No, senior year," he clarified. "I'm looking to get scouted and I need to keep my grades up. Then, there's all this stuff going on with my fam—"

"I wouldn't know any of that!" Haley said stomping one of her feet. "You talk to Lucas over me! Who do you think cares more about you, Nathan?"

"I'm sorry, Haley. I know you care. I do."

"Why are you still standing here then? Go and run and _hide_ like you've been doing lately."

"I don't want you out of my life. I just can't do _this_" Nathan said gesturing to both of them.

"So what? We're just supposed to be friends?"

"I guess. I hope so." Nathan looked away frustrated as Haley shook her head indicating that wasn't possible. "But you're more than that to me, Hales. You always will be," he said softly as their eyes met.

"But I'm supposed to give up on us?" she said fighting the pain already forming in her heart.

"I hope you don't. I still want those things with you," Nathan said feeling his resolve weakening. He shook his head, determined not to change course. "Just not now," he added certainly.

"What do you want me to do? Just wait around forever for you? Let you go and hook up with whoever you want just as long as you know 'good, old Haley' will be there waiting to pick up the pieces. 'Reliable, Haley!' She'll always be there!" she screaming mockingly.

"It's not about other girls, Haley. There's no one else and there's not going to be!" Nathan said raising his voice to match hers. His tone then softened, as he continued, "Look, I know I have no right to ask, but if you're going to move on, could you just let me know? Because I'm not. _You're my forever, Hales_. But I need to know if it isn't the same for you."

Haley stood there unable to speak. He was asking so much from her, maybe more than she was willing to give. She needed to think about this and couldn't give him any kind of an answer right now. She nodded and turned around to head back towards Peyton's.

"Haley, wait! I have something for you."

Haley turned around and saw him pulling a small package out of his coat pocket. He held it out for her but Haley stood there not wanting to take it. She was in no mood for his gifts.

"Please, Hales," he pleaded. As usual, it was his eyes that persuaded her more than anything else.

She took the gift, crumpled up the wrapping, placing it in the hand he held out, and opened the small box. Inside was a simple small gold ring that would probably fit on her pinky.

"It's engraved," he explained.

Haley lifted the ring out of the box and looked and saw the engraving on the inside "N.S. + H.J." She looked up at him, unsure about what to do. She was touched but, confused.

"I understand if you don't want to wear it. I just wanted you to have it. Just so you don't forget…"

"Well, I guess it's better than the fake id your sister gave me," Haley said with a small smile as she put the ring back in the box. This was not something she could put on her finger right then. Trying to ease the tension, she added, "Are you going to come in?"

"No. I have to go. We have films to break down tonight."

Haley's heart dropped again as she couldn't help but have a mental image of Nathan sitting next to Damien as they discussed football.

"Well, thanks then."

"So, are we good?"

"I don't know Nathan. I need some time to think."

"Well, take all the time you need. Just let me know…"

They both looked up as they heard Peyton's front door close.

"I'll see you later," Nathan said at the sight of Rachel.

Haley didn't get the chance to respond before he was gone. She walked over to Rachel who had taken a seat on Peyton's doorstep.

"What? Did he have a present to give you?" Rachel asked disgusted.

"What do you care, Rachel?"

"I don't," she said quickly. "It's just…you better watch out, Haley," Rachel warned her.

"What does that mean Rachel? _Don't play games with me_!"

"Nathan chose football over you. But he can't have it both ways. Don't think the two of you can run around in secret, like you did this summer, and my father won't find out about it," Rachel warned.

Things were suddenly starting to become clearer to Haley. She had always been certain the moment things had changed was when Dan and Rachel visited Nathan in Florida. Now, she knew Rachel was in some way connected to that and was about to confirm it.

"Really? And who will tell him?" Haley asked pointedly.

"I will," Rachel said straightening up. "Nothing against you, Haley," she added innocently. "Nathan just needs to be able to focus completely on football. And then basketball too. He wants to go to Duke, you know?"

"_I know_," Haley said sternly. "So tell me Rachel, what exactly did you tell your father? And what exactly did he say to Nathan?"

"Does it matter?" Rachel asked coyly. "Like I said, he chose his sports over you. You know, my dad's already close to not letting Nate play football and I'm sure if he knows—"

"Fuck you!" Haley shouted standing up. Rachel looked genuinely shocked, as did Lucas and Brooke who had opened the front door.

"Is everything okay out here?" Brooke asked over Lucas' shoulder.

"Rachel was just leaving," Haley said dryly.

"Haley! You can't make me leave."

"Then, I'll leave. Either way—we're done Rachel. _Done_," Haley repeated. "I've never met someone who would turn on her own family like that!"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! My brother turned on me years ago! Don't you remember? Tell me, you didn't forget, Haley? Because you were there! Precious Haley has always been number one in my big brother's book!"

Silence filled the air as Brooke and Lucas looked at each confused. Rachel then snapped back into reality realizing what she had said.

"Fine, I'll go," Rachel said. "But this isn't over, Haley."

"No, it's not. I'm done being punished by you and so is Nathan," Haley said narrowing her eyes.

"I'm not going to be the one to punish you, Haley. Do you know how close my dad is with the Wests?"

"Okay, Felix is going to give you a ride home now," Lucas jumped in, standing in between the two girls.

Haley looked up to see a crowd gather in the house in the doorway. Embarrassed, she let Peyton usher her in as Brooke began to push Rachel down the walkway.

"Are you okay?" Peyton asked as they entered her kitchen.

"I'm fine," Haley said confidently as she took Nathan's ring out the box and placed it on her pinky finger.

* * *

"Sorry your birthday turned out like that, Haley," Lucas apologized. "I thought you and Nathan could talk things out. I didn't know he was going to blindside you like that."

At this point, Haley had filled in everyone on what had happened. For her, anyway, there were going to be no more secrets. Well, none, except the one she had kept since she was eight.

"I'm okay, really."

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing. I'm not going to seek him out, but I won't ignore him either. I'm just going to let him be. He'll come back. I know he will," Haley said smiling to herself. She was grateful for her fight with Rachel. They had both said things they had been holding in for years but at least they were done pretending. She also now felt more confident than ever that she understood what was going on with Nathan. After being in the dark for so long, she was able to finally feel at ease. The only problem of course was that she also realized just how much he had been going through.

"What about Rachel?"

"What about her?"

"Haley, you remember what happened last year? What if she starts cutting again? And she mentioned something else," Lucas said anxiously. Haley looked up at him but remained silent. "I know you're not going to tell me, but what if she starts up cutting again?"

"I don't want that Lucas, but what can I do? She doesn't talk me and now I'm beginning to think she's never really trusted me anyway! Everyone else is just going to have to keep any eye on her. What about Brooke?"

"They're close when it's good for Rachel."

"Tell me about it. Been there, done that," Haley said as a matter of fact.

"Yeah, well she's back hanging out with some sketchy people."

"I have a feeling as long as she has her father's attention and Nathan and I aren't together—_which we aren't_—" Haley emphasized, "then she'll be okay. At least you guys know what to look out for now though."

"So that's it?"

"That's it. I can't help, her Luke. We've tried so many times over the years and the only thing that's come of it is her resenting us and doing whatever she can to spite us."

"And you're not going to talk to Nathan?"

"No. Guess I'll have to go homecoming alone," Haley sighed.

"Actually, I know someone who's looking for a date…" Lucas said with a gleam in his eye.

"Who?" Haley asked curiously. The last thing she wanted was a real date. She already had enough complications in her life.

"Me, actually," he admitted.

"I thought things were going good with you and Brooke again?"

"She's speaking to me, but I guess she's going with Felix."

"And Peyton's with Jake?"

"It's not about Peyton, Hales," Lucas said snidely.

"Sor-ry!," Haley said sarcastically. "Why do you even want to go?"

"I want Brooke back and I'm going to fight for her. I made a mistake, but she's the one for me. Just like Nathan is the one for you."

"I guess we'll see about that. Sure, let's go. But I don't want to play any games, Luke. I don't want to make anyone jealous. Besides, I don't think I could ever pretend to be in to you anyway!"

"Ditto. So it's not a date/date then. Just friends." Haley nodded but couldn't help feeling sad remembering Nathan and their date/date a year ago. She had been so excited for that night and Damien had nearly ruined it. She wouldn't let that happen again.

* * *

"Hey, Uncle Coop. How's she doing today?"

"Pretty good. Jules is in with her now."

"Oh good, girl time! You guys stay out here for a while, huh?" Rachel said as she rang the buzzer to go into the personal room area of the facility.

"No problem, Rach," Coop said as he patted his niece on the back. "How's she doing?" Coop said refereeing to Rachel after she left.

"Fine, I guess. My dad's been keeping a close eye on her. They're pretty tight these days," Nathan replied.

"That's good I guess."

"Better her than me," Nathan said flatly.

"How is Dan treating you these days? Is he still on your ass about football?"

"It's complicated. As it turns out, me being on the football team is good for his business."

"What the hell?"

"I'm on the team with the son of one of his 'associates.' He wants me on the team because I pissed off the kid and he wants me to work it out."

"Nate, is it really worth it? Isn't it all about basketball for you anyway?"

"Yeah, but I love pissing my dad off even more!" Nathan grinned.

"Careful, Nate. You're living with him now. I wish I could help you out, but Jules' father is sick and we can't be away right now."

"You're serious about her, huh?"

"Actually, we're engaged!" Coop beamed.

"Wow!" Nathan said surprised. He recovered quickly as he gave his uncle a hug. "Congrats, man!"

"Thanks. Never thought you'd see this day come, huh?"

"I'm not gonna lie," Nathan laughed.

"It's happens to the best of us. How about you? How's Haley doing?"

Nathan's head jerked up at the mention of his name. His uncle knew Haley from the time they were kids, but he was sure he had never mentioned anything about his feelings for Haley to him. He had always been his "cool" Uncle Coop after all; a true ladies man and his role model growing up.

"She's fine. Why do you ask?" Nathan asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant.

"Dude, I saw you two at New Year's last year," Coop laughed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nathan said shaking his head trying to fight a smile. He couldn't help but feel good thinking about what a great time that was for him and Haley.

"Yeah, whatever, Nate. You can't fool your Uncle Coop. It was just a matter of time anyway. Not like we didn't see it coming."

Nathan began to grow uncomfortable as Coop continued to talk about him and Haley. He sat down and began leafing through the magazines on one of the tables in the waiting room.

"That bad, huh?" Coop asked taking a seat next to him.

"What?" Nathan asked with a hint of irritation.

"Did you two break up?"

"We were never really together," Nathan sighed, not looking up from his magazine.

"And now?"

"Now, we're not much of anything."

"And who's choice is that?"

"I don't really have a choice, Uncle Coop. It's the way it's got to be for now."

"I said it before and I'll say it again. Careful, Nate. Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"No," Nathan admitted.

Before they could continue their conversation Rachel burst through the doors and threw herself at Coop.

"Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?" Rachel screeched. "When's the wedding?" she continued, not waiting for a response.

"April. In Charlotte too. Think you can make it?" Coop asked smiling.

"Try and stop me!" Rachel squealed.

Nathan couldn't help but get caught up in the moment. He, like Rachel, was happy for his uncle. It would be nice to see him settle down with someone that he was crazy about. He still hoped to have that someday with Haley. He stood there once again wondering if he should have trusted his father. In his heart, he believed that his father was right and that he would screw it all up if he was with Haley right now. On the other hand, his father always seemed to have an ulterior motive anyway. Only time would tell as Nathan remained convinced it didn't matter anyway. What was done, was done and there was no going back now.

* * *

AN: Thank you so much for reading and even more for reviewing! I don't expect you to be thrilled with this chapter but **SPOILER ALERT **they next one is huge! Nathan hits his all time low, which had to happen, but I promise you things change after that. He will start to regroup and change. One more spoiler- don't forget about the wedding mentioned in this chapter. It is the events at the wedding that sets off a chain of events that lead to the prologue! It's a long story, so I hope you have patience as we get there and then deal with the fallout. Please keep reading and keep the faith! I am a total Naley fan and having fun writing them. I am a big fan of suspense and build up when there is a payoff and so you can expect that from me!


	21. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Special thanks to **Pamela!**

Here we go! Most important chapter yet!

Chapter 20: "The Sweetest Thing" (U2)

"Here goes nothing," Haley muttered as she linked arms with Lucas.

"You and me against the world, huh?" Lucas said, giving her a slight smile. "You look great tonight, Hales," he added trying to put her at ease.

Haley was wearing a v-neckline pale pink chiffon sleeveless dress that flowed down to her knees. Her hair was partially pinned up with loose curls failing down her back.

"You're not so bad yourself," Haley said smiling back at him in his dress shirt and tie. "So you want to sit with Brooke and Felix, right?"

"If it gets me closer to Brooke. So I wanted to let you know that Nate's coming alone," Lucas said eyeing her carefully."He wasn't going to come at all, but his coach is making him since he'll be named on homecoming court."

"Luke, it's probably best if he just stays away. I don't want a hassle tonight. I just want to have a good time."

"I'll keep my eye out then." No sooner had the words come out of his mouth when they both spotted Nathan. As much as she hated to admit it, he looked great, in his dress shirt and pants. "Caw," Lucas said as he leaned in to Haley's ear.

Haley immediately burst into a fit of laughter. "What was that?"

"It's my signal. Caw, caw," he repeated causing her to laugh even more.

Nathan tried to remind himself that Lucas was really doing a favor by taking Haley to homecoming. After all, he would rather have her there with him than anyone else. Still, he couldn't help but be jealous at the sight of the two of them laughing and having a good time. As long as Lucas was the one she was having a good time with, that was fine. If it was anyone else, that would be a different story.

* * *

"Next slow song, ask her to dance," Haley prodded Lucas.

"I can't. She's with Felix."

"But she's been looking at you all night. Come on! Felix won't mind." Lucas raised his eyebrows skeptically at Haley. They both knew that Felix wasn't crazy about Lucas. "Well, who cares? He's not that bad you know. I tutored him last year."

"And now, let's slow it down again," the DJ announced.

Haley looked at Lucas and saw he wasn't moving. She decided to take charge of the situation. "Felix, dance with me!" Haley said grabbing his hand. Felix flashed a bright smile at Brooke as Haley led him to the dance floor.

Haley watched as Lucas made his move. She saw Brooke hesitantly smile and take his hand. Once they reached the dance floor, Haley tried to keep them in her line of view. She pushed herself close to Felix so he wouldn't notice her gawking over his shoulder.

"Geez, Hales. I had no idea you wanted to get so close to me," Felix teased. Haley began to feel guilty as she witnessed Brooke leaning her head onto Lucas's shoulder. Lucas began rubbing her back in response. "Haley?"

"What?" Haley said realizing she had zoned out.

"You're not with Nathan anymore, right?" Felix asked confused.

"No, we were never…why?"

"If looks could kill, I'd be dead right now," Felix said shifting them so she could see Nathan. He was standing on the edge of the dance floor, arms crossed glaring at them. Even when Haley caught his eye, he wouldn't look away.

As the song ended, Felix made a beeline for Brooke. Haley assumed he had also picked up on the closeness between Lucas and Brooke. Haley walked towards Nathan, hoping it would cause him to move, but instead he remained in place like a pillar.

"What's your problem?" Haley asked irritated.

"So is this it? You've moved on?" Nathan asked coldly.

"It was just a dance, Nathan! You can't do things like this."

"Like what? I'm just standing here enjoying the view."

"Enjoy it somewhere else!" Haley said brushing past him. She stumbled a bit as Nathan forcefully grabbed her arm bringing her to a stop. Haley jerked free and gave him a nasty look.

"Dance with me, Haley," he said softening. "Next slow song?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Nathan. I'm just trying to have a good time tonight."

"And I'm not part of that good time, huh?"

"Not when you're being an ass like this!" Haley raised her voice causing a few people, including a few teachers, to start looking at them.

"Next dance, Haley. You have until then to decide," he said unwavering.

"Thanks, Nate," Haley said sarcastically as she stormed off.

The next slow song came too soon for Haley. She had been immersed in the drama that had ensued from Brooke and Lucas' dance when she realized the dance floor had cleared for the couples. She looked around, but couldn't spot Nathan anywhere. She did, however catch Mouth's eye who was looking around as well.

"Want to dance?" Mouth asked nervously.

"Sure," Haley answered, happy for the distraction.

They had just become comfortable in their rhythm when Nathan appeared out of nowhere.

"Can I cut in?" Nathan asked.

"Sure, Nate. Sorry, I just…" Nathan didn't wait for Mouth to finish before he shoved him aside and put his hands around Haley's waist.

"That wasn't very nice," Haley said reluctantly putting her arms around his neck.

"He'll be fine," Nathan said pulling her close. "You're wearing my ring," he added, smiling as he kissed her cheek. "God, I miss you," he whispered into her ear.

Haley pulled back, looking him in the eye. "Have you been drinking?"

"Shhhh," Nathan said looking around to see if any had heard her.

"Nathan! What were you thinking? They're going to find out when they announce the court!" Haley scolded him.

"I won't get in to trouble. Damien's dad will take care of it," Nathan said without thinking. When he saw the look on Haley's face he realized how wrong it was to mention Damien's name, and especially in that context.

"So I guess you got over him calling me a slut, huh?" Haley said dropping her arms to her side.

"It's not like I had a choice, Haley! Believe me! Just ask Lucas! We have basketball season coming up and my dad…"

"Rachel wasn't lying," Haley said to herself.

"What about Rachel?" Nathan asked not quite able to make out what she had said.

"Nothing. Okay, song is over Nathan but you know what? I don't think that's all that's over."

"Haley!" Nathan called after her.

"Lucas, now!" Haley ordered as she passed him heading for lobby. Lucas quickly complied, sensing there was no time for questions as she followed her.

"Did you know Nathan's been drinking?" Haley asked when they reached a secluded spot.

"No—"

"But you knew he was talking to Damien again?"

"I...uh…Yes, I did," Lucas stammered.

"Did Rachel tell the truth? Did Nathan choose sports over me?" Haley asked continued to throw questions at him like rapid fire.

"Wake up, Haley! I thought you knew him better than that!" Lucas said raising his voice in frustration. "The guy thinks he's not good enough for you! _That's his problem_."

Haley shook her head in disbelief. "So Dan didn't give him some type of ultimatum?"

"I don't know, but even if he did, I'm telling you that's not the problem. It's much deeper than that. Look, Haley, I know you're confused and so is he but you'll work this all out. I know you will. For me, on the other hand, I have to get back in there before I miss my chance!"

"They're still fighting?" Haley asked referring to Brooke and Felix.

"Yeah and I think Brooke's just about reached her limit."

"Okay, let's go back in. But Luke? Just keep your eye out for him, huh? He's been drinking and I know he's not thinking clearly and I just can't do it myself right now."

"I will," Lucas promised as he headed back into the ballroom.

* * *

"If you can dance with Haley, then there's no reason I can't dance with Lucas!"

Haley cringed at the pitch of Brooke's voice. She was sure she had heard Brooke repeat the same line over and over as she and Felix seemed to be arguing in circles.

"Haley is my tutor and he is your ex! There is a big difference there, Brooke!"

"This is a non-exclusive relationship, Felix! What does that mean if I can be with other guys?"

"So you're admitting you're with him?"

"Get ready for our last slow song before we announce this year's Homecoming Court!" the DJ bellowed into his microphone.

"Fine, Brooke. Dance with Lucas all you want. Let's go Haley!" Haley looked at Brooke helplessly as Felix pulled her out onto the dance floor.

"Fuck," Haley blurted out when she realized what song was playing.

"Haley?" Felix asked shocked.

"I'm sorry, Felix," Haley said meeting his eyes.

"For what—"

"Beat it, Felix. This is our song," Nathan said as he pushed Felix's shoulder away from Haley.

"With or Without You? What kind of a fucking song is that?" Felix asked undaunted.

"What's it to you?" Nathan asked standing toe-to-toe with him.

"What to step outside and find out?" Felix challenged him.

Haley looked around in panic. A crowd was beginning to form around them and she could see a few teachers heading their way.

"Who needs to go outside? Are you afraid of everyone seeing you getting your ass kicked?" Nathan said rolling up his sleeves.

Haley squeezed herself in between them and began to push Nathan back. The problem was, she was so small compared to him and even with all her weight pushing against him, he didn't move. Luckily, Lucas, Skills and Jake had made their way out there. Lucas began giving her a hand with Nathan, while Skills and Jake began to drag Felix away. Haley and Lucas managed to get Nathan to one of the side exit doors. By that time, Nathan had calmed down a bit and willingly exited the building with both Haley and Lucas.

"You need to leave," Lucas immediately ordered him.

"I'm on the court! I can't leave! Coach will kill me!"

"He will if you're kicked of the team and can't play in tomorrow night's game! And _you will be_ if they catch you drinking and fighting! Felix's family has money and you won't be able to sweep this one under the carpet," Lucas explained.

"Come with me, Haley," Nathan begged.

"No," Haley said certainly. "You really need to think about what you're doing, Nathan because I'm not going to stand around and watch you self-destruct like this."

"Is that a threat? Are you threatening me?" Nathan's anger seemed to grow as his voice became progressively louder and louder. "Because all I asked was that you tell me when you were done with me! That's all! You couldn't even have the courtesy to let me know! I wouldn't have come! Instead I had to watch you dance—"

"That's what you want, huh, Nathan? You want me just to let you off the hook so you can go and out do whatever it is you do with Damien and his cronies? Well, I won't!" Haley screamed. "But I will tell you this," she said lowering her voice, "_you're losing me_. Ball's in your court, now, Nathan."

Haley turned around and began to head back towards the building. As she approached the door, she took one last look at Nathan, who was still watching her with Lucas by his side, and yelled out "AND I HATE THAT SONG!"

* * *

"_She's not coming, Nate_."

The words Lucas had relayed to him a couple of hours earlier kept playing over and over in his head. It was like a broken record that made his heart beat faster every time it played.

He tried to listen to the calls that Damien was shouting out on the field, but he kept zoning out and even when he did hear the numbers, he couldn't remember what the play was. He knew the team was growing frustrated with him and that he was not in the places he was supposed to be. Nathan took a couple of deep breaths and tried to refocus.

"_She's just disappointed in you_."

Lucas had meant those words as a small source of comfort to him. He was trying to convince him that Haley just needed time to cool down. Disappointment, though. That was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. He knew he had pushed her to the brink and although Lucas had told him she hadn't given up yet, Nathan kept seeing the look on her face when she'd told him he was losing her and it stabbed at his heart. If she had just come to the game, he knew he could make it all right. Nathan feared the more time she had, the more she would replay his behavior in her head the last couple of months and finally call it quits for good.

"_She can't do it right now_."

Could she ever? Would there ever be a right time for them? Nathan's heart began to beat a bit faster with these thoughts. He was becoming convinced there may be no such thing as a right time. Instead, he wanted to make things right now, if there was any chance for a future with her.

"Dammit, Nate! That was almost in an interception! Get your ass in place on this next call because we need to make a drive now!"

"_She was asking me about your dad. Did he give you some type of ultimatum_?"

Fucking, Dan! Where did she hear that? Rachel. Had to have been Rachel blabbing and if it was, she had probably added in a few other things that weren't true. Dan was more concerned about his relationship with Damien these days, but there was still no need for Haley to know what Dan had said about her in the first place. If Rachel had said anything about it, he was sure it was out of spite, which bothered him even more.

Nathan looked up and realized he had missed another set of calls as his team began another drive towards the thirty yard line. His heart began to beat faster and he could feel himself losing his ability to breath. He hunched over, as he started to feel pains in his chest and began gasping for air. When a timeout was called, he flung his helmet off and doubled over, his hand over his heart. A couple of teammates appeared by his side and he could already seen the team trainer making his away over. This made it even harder for him to breathe as he fell to the ground.

"What happened?"

"Does he have asthma?"

"I don't think so."

"Is he having a heart attack?"

"Did I miss it? Was he tackled?"

"He's been off all night!"

Nathan could hear voices talking but he didn't have the ability to figure out who was saying what.

He knew he was having a panic attack, but he wasn't prepared to explain that to anyone. Even worse, how could he explain the only thing that had been ever to calm him down?

* * *

"_Nathan? Can you come here please?" Mrs. Stein asked._

_Nathan looked around nervously as he got up from his seat and walked out into the hallway. It was never a good thing when the school principal wanted to talk to you. _

"_We need you to give us a hand with your sister. She won't talk to anyone." _

_Nathan instantly became even more anxious. He could take a good guess as to why Rachel wouldn't talk, but it wasn't something he wanted to talk about it either. It was something he couldn't talk about; not if he wanted to stay alive. That's what they were told anyway. The only other person who knew about what happened was Haley. They had both agreed not tell either of their parents, fearing for their lives. At ten years old, Nathan was trying to protect his family the only way he knew how, but it all seemed to be crashing down on him at this very moment. _

_His parents were away on a trip to France, and their nanny, Carrie was in charge. Nathan hated the fact that his parents went away, but he couldn't seem to get them to understand what happened a couple of weeks ago without risking their safety. Rachel had thrown a temper tantrum that morning, but all it did was aggravate his parents, who were determined not to miss their flight._

_Nathan walked into the nurse's office. From there he could see Rachel's third grade teacher, the school nurse and assistant principal all huddled around Rachel, who was curled up in a ball on the cot at the back of the room. When she saw him arrived, the nurse stepped out to talk to him._

"_Nathan, you sister isn't feeling well. We understand your parents are away right now so we called your nanny to come pick her up. I guess she has to pick up her boyfriend from the airport and then she's going to come and get her."_

_Nathan closed his eyes realizing this was even worse than he thought. Rachel was not only responding to what happened a couple of weeks ago, but also to the idea of being near Joe again. _

"_Can't she just go the James' house?"_

"_No, Nathan. The James' are not listed on the emergency contact list. Can you try to talk to your sister?" _

"_Okay." Nathan said walking over to Rachel. "Rachel? Rachel, are you okay? It's me Nathan." He leaned a little closer, whispering into her ear, "I'm here this time." _

_Rachel's teacher pulled the nurse into the office area. They were trying to have a private conversation, but Nathan tried to listen and was able to make out some phrases. _

"…_.something wrong in that house. Rachel hasn't been herself for a couple of weeks. Do you think it has something to do with the nanny?" _

_Nathan began to panic. His heart began beating very fast and he started to have trouble breathing. He took a seat in one of the chairs in the corner of the room. He watched as the nurse and the teacher went back in to talk to Rachel._

_By the time Haley arrived carrying Rachel's belongings from class, Nathan was hyperventilating. No one noticed at first, until his gasps became too loud to ignore. By now, Mrs. Stein had come over and was trying to soothe him. _

_As soon as he saw Haley, his breathing improved slightly. He stood up, squeezing past Mrs. Stein and ran over to Haley. _

_Haley saw the alarm in his eyes and could sense his desperation. Haley dropped Rachel's coat and backpack and immediately put her arms around Nathan. _

_Nathan quickly broke into a sob, making his breathing even worse. Haley knew Nathan needed her but she wasn't sure what to do. She thought back to that night and pulled back. _

_She closed her eyes and it all came back to her. _

_They had been huddled up in the bathtub, with the shower curtains closed around them. Nathan had starting breathing like that when Rachel began screaming. Haley couldn't take it either. She had pushed her hands, palm first, into Nathan's chest, followed by her head. Nathan had used his hands to cover her ears. Now, having a focus, Nathan was able to breathe normally. They stayed that way, each instinctively helping the other to survive without realizing it. _

_Haley opened her eyes, back in the present, and put her hands on Nathan's chest, followed by her head. He wrapped his arms around her began to breathe normally._

"_I don't get it," Mrs. Stein said confused. _

"_I think we need to call Mrs. James," the nurse said sharing the confusion._

* * *

They didn't get it. No one really did, not even Rachel. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, he needed Haley and he needed her right now.

"_She's not coming, Nate_." Lucas' voice kept coming back to him.

"Let's get him off the field. He's done for the night."

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Fallen" (Sarah McLachlan)

AN: Thank you to those that reviewed! I would love to hear what you think about this chapter in particular since it answers some questions. I also wanted you know there will eventually be one more significant flashback when we get really close to the prologue.

As always, thanks for reading!


	22. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers. Song lyrics in this chapter are from U2.

AN: Thanks to **Pamela**!

Chapter 21: "Fallen" (Sarah McLachlan)

"I hope you realize you're done, Nathan," Dan said sternly.

"I'm fine, Dad. Thanks for asking," Nathan said sarcastically as he lay back down on his bed.

"I obviously know you're fine. You managed to make it home, didn't you? They said you weren't even tackled. This is just another one of your mental issues. If you can't even keep your head in the game, then how can I trust you not to get hurt for real?"

"I'll call Mom's lawyer. You can't just pull me off the team." Nathan wasn't certain that was true but he wasn't about to let his father win that easily.

"I can. I may have to go to court to do it, but I will. I have full custody of you while your Mom is that treatment center. I've already checked into it."

Nathan looked as his father trying to figure out if he was bluffing.

Dan continued, "Look son, I let this slide for a while, but it's apparent now that you can't handle this. I'm taking you off the team so you can clear your head for basketball season. I've still got the scouts lined up for you, Duke being one of them. So are you going to fight me on this or will you trust your old man? Either way, it's all going to end the same."

"Call your lawyer," Nathan said snidely. If his father wanted a fight, he was going to get one.

* * *

Taking Lucas' advice, Nathan tried to steer clear of Haley at school on Monday. No matter how hard it was, he was going to her the space she needed. He was ready though, to seize any opportunity to make amends.

Haley caught him off-guard as he was switching books out of his locker in between classes. There was no time to respond to her anyway and she was clearly not in the mood for any apologies.

"Since you're so obsessed with U2, I thought I'd pick out a more appropriate song for us," she said thrusting a CD into his hands. She quickly turned around and added, "Oh, and since I know you didn't have time to listen to the last CD I made for you, I took the liberty of writing out the lyrics for you and highlighted the important ones." Haley then proceeded to storm off.

Nathan opened up the paper inside the case and quickly scanned the lyrics to "One." She had highlighted the following lyrics:

_Is it getting better__  
__Or do you feel the same__  
__Will it make it easier on you__  
__Now you got someone to blame_

_It leaves you baby__  
__If you don't care for it_

_Did I disappoint you?__  
__Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?__  
__You act like you never had love__  
__And you want me to go without_

_Well it's too late__  
__Tonight__  
__To drag the past out__  
__Into the light_

_Did I ask too much__  
__More than a lot__  
__You gave me nothing__  
__Now it's all I got__  
__We're one__  
__But we're not the same__  
__We hurt each other__  
__Then we do it again_

_You ask me to enter__  
__But then you make me crawl__  
__And I can't be holding on__  
__To what you got__  
__When all you got is hurt__  
_

Nathan slowly closed the paper and stuffed it in his pocket. This was going to more difficult that he thought.

* * *

"Hey, Mrs. Burns. I was wondering if you had a chance to write me that letter yet."

"I have your recommendation right here," she said getting a file from a stack on her desk.

When she hesitated handing it over to Nathan, he knew he was about to get a lecture from her. He had many lectures over the past couple of days from various teachers, coaches and even a few administrators. Even though they hadn't been able to prove it, they all suspected his drinking at the homecoming dance, knew about his near fight with Felix and were upset that he wasn't there when his name was called for the homecoming court. His difficulties at the game the following night had also sent off more alarm bells. Every lecture was the same and Nathan was getting sick of hearing it. He knew they were all concerned about him, but he hated hearing about yet another person he had let down.

"You know we missed you when you weren't there when the homecoming court was announced," she said baiting him.

"I wasn't feeling well," Nathan said repeating the response he had down pat.

"Is that what happened at the game too?"

"Yeah. I'm better now. I promise there won't be any more issues like that," he said sincerely.

"I notice that Haley's been a little off too." Nathan stiffened at the mention of her name. No one else had made that connection. He quickly flashed back to homecoming and realized that Mrs. Burns had seen him arguing with Haley that night. Nathan quickly recovered as he reminded himself why he was subjecting himself to this lecture.

"Funny you should mention Haley. I know she has you first block and I was hoping you could give her this," Nathan said pulling out a CD.

"Or you could wait a few minutes and give to her yourself," Mrs. Burns said skeptically. Nathan smiled remembering why she was one of his favorite teachers. She was no fool and obviously knew him very well. There was no doubt she knew he was up to something and didn't want to get in the middle.

"I have to get to class early today," Nathan said putting it down on her desk. "So can I still have the letter?" he asked hopefully.

"Here," she said finally handing it to him. "This," she said picking up the CD, "better not upset one of my star pupils."

"I'm hoping it does the opposite," Nathan said giving her a weak smile.

* * *

"Haley!" Nathan yelled trying to catch up with her as she exited the Tutor Center. He knew she'd heard him was just ignoring him, so started to pick up speed. "Haley!" he called out breathlessly as he finally caught up with her.

Haley spun around and glared at him. "That was really dirty, Nathan, having Mrs. Burns give me that CD. What? Were you too afraid to give it to me yourself?"

"It's not that—"

"Then what? I didn't listen to it yet. I just got it this morn—"

"It's Karen," Nathan interrupted her. It was then that Haley saw the panic in his eyes. "Lucas called me on my cell. She's in the hospital and they're probably going to have to deliver the baby."

"What? She's not due for another month!" Haley panicked.

"I know. I think she has preeclampsia or something like that. Keith wanted to know if you check in at café since they had to leave in such a hurry. It's closed for now but he doesn't want it to stay closed for the weekend."

"Yeah. I've never been on my own before there, but I can manage."

"I can do it with you if you want," Nathan added nervously. "Or I can just give you a ride when you need it."

"Can we swing by now to see what kind of shape it's in?"

"Sure, and then maybe we can go by the hospital?"

"Okay. You don't mind?" Haley said curiously.

Nathan reached for her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "If you need a friend…." Haley looked at him confused.

"It's the song, Hales. I found our song. If you'll have it. I didn't write out the lyrics for you because it's an 'every word' song. That's what you wanted right?"

Haley tried to shake off the severity of his gaze, as his blue eyes pierced into hers. She was surprised he remembered her demand from last summer to find song that had every lyric in it as if it was written just for them. She quickly regrouped and put back up her emotional wall so they could focus on what was most important at the moment and that was Karen. "We'll see. Let's just try and get through one thing at a time, huh?"

"You're right. Karen needs us right now. We'll put it all hold. So you have a key to the café?" Haley nodded, letting him keep hold of her hand as they headed towards the school exit.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Dan shouted as Nathan walked in the front door.

"What's it to you?"

"In case you've forgotten I have custody of you right now and it's nearly midnight on a school night."

"What about Rachel? How come you're never looking for her when she comes stumbling in?"

"I'm right here, Nathan, but thanks for your brotherly concern," Rachel chided him, as stepped out of the kitchen and into his view.

"I'm going to bed," Nathan said moving towards the stairs. Dan quickly blocked his entrance, forcing a direction confrontation between the two.

"Sit down, Nathan. We need to talk," Dad said sternly.

Not having much of a choice, Nathan took a seat on the couch in the living room. He immediately felt defensive as both Rachel and his father stood leering over him, not taking a seat.

"Where were you?"

"I was at the hospital. Karen had some problems and they had to take the baby early."

Dan's face dropped in concern at the news. "Is…is she okay?" he asked hesitantly.

"For now, I guess. She had preeclampsia, but made it through the c-section."

Nathan watched his father's reaction extremely confused. Dan seemed to be genuinely bothered and maybe even a little sad, but knowing how his father felt about his aunt and uncle that didn't seem to make sense.

"That's what happened before," Dan muttered so softly Nathan barely registered it. Nathan suddenly remembered how Karen had suffered a miscarriage after becoming pregnant in high school with Dan's child. Things became a lot clearer to Nathan as he realized that Haley had been right all these years. Dan's issues with his brother and Karen must have stemmed from jealousy, as Dan obviously still had feelings for her. "And the baby?"

"It's a girl and she's fine. Uncle Keith is waiting to give her a name until Karen wakes up." Nathan couldn't help but notice how Dan flinched when Nathan used the word "uncle."

Dan cleared his throat as a serious expression returned to his face. "That doesn't explain why you were there."

"Lucas called me and Haley and I checked in on the café and then—"

"See I told you!" Rachel interjected.

"So you were just driving Haley there?" Dan asked trying to understand his son's motivation.

"Not really," Nathan couldn't help but admit. "I wanted to be there too."

"And why is that? They haven't been there for you your whole life!"

"And whose fault is that?" Nathan challenged him.

"Don't go there, Nathan! They have no loyalty to anyone but themselves!"

"Really? You mean, because after you left, they made a life for themselves?"

Nathan could see anger rising up in his father and he knew their argument was reaching a point of no return.

"You have no idea what you are talking about, son and you need to learn a lesson in loyalty right now. Who are you loyal to, Nathan? _Because you need to pick_. I never thought I'd have to ask you to do that, but it's clear that I do. So are you going to go with your own father, someone who has sacrificed so much for your future and your dreams or your deadbeat uncle who has never even acknowledged your existence?"

"You mean like you've acknowledged Lucas?" When Dan didn't respond, Nathan added, "And they're not my dreams, Dad. _They're yours_. But it's _my_ future."

"Then what is _your_ dream Nathan? To be a former high school football athlete who gets his girlfriend knocked up and is trapped into a life of misery and regrets? Because that's the path I see you headed towards with Haley!"

"No, Dad," Nathan said standing up to face him, toe-to-toe. "That was you. Except it replace football with basketball and Haley with Mom," Nathan said looking him in the eye.

"Get out," Dan replied holding his gaze.

"Dad!" Rachel interjected.

"No, it's fine. Not like I really want to be here anyway. I'll get my things." Nathan brushed his father's shoulder as he headed towards the stairs.

"Dad! What were you thinking? You know where he's going to go! You're going to really lose him now," Rachel warned.

"Don't you get it Rachel? I already lost your brother. Add him to the list of the people who betrayed me," Dan said with malice.

* * *

"Hey," Haley said softly to Nathan who was standing idly at his locker. He was extremely tired and was having difficulty performing the most simple of functions such as determining what materials he need for his first couple of classes.

"Hey," Nathan replied yawning.

"I hate to ask because I know you have a lot going on with tonight's game, but do you think you could give me a ride to the café after school?"

"Sure. I don't need to be at the stadium until five. Wait, I thought Keith said they were just closing the café today?"

"Yeah, but I'm going to open it tomorrow morning and I want to get some things ready. My dad can pick me up, but I wanted to get there right after school."

"I can do it," Nathan said yawning again.

"You okay?" Haley asked. They had both had a late night but Nathan really looked and sounded exhausted.

"I'm going to take a nap before the game. Are you going tonight?" Nathan asked quietly.

Haley shifted nervously. "I'm not sure." Haley was really tired as well and knew she would have an early morning so she had decided to stay in and get to bed early, however there something in Nathan's eyes and voice that was making her reconsider.

"I want you to come. _I need you to come_," Nathan said with a hint of desperation.

"Okay. I guess I owe you for driving me," Haley responded, a little flustered by his plea.

"You don't owe me anything, Hales," Nathan said sincerely his eyes glistening as they met hers. "I just need you to know I'm done playing games with everyone, including you. I know what I want and I'm not afraid of that or anyone who wants to stand in my way. And what I want right now is _you_."

Haley stood there shocked by the conviction and determination with which he spoke. She forced herself to look away as his intensity tore into her, causing her heart rate to sharply increase. "Well, um, I'm not sure what to say."

"We can talk later. Maybe tomorrow? But I need to know you're going to be there tonight."

"I'll be there," she confirmed.

* * *

"Oh my God!" Haley screamed as she heard a banging on the café doors. She could swear the sudden noise made her jump a mile! It was only 6 a.m. and she had counted on having an hour before the first customers arrived. She turned around and was even more surprised to see Nathan standing at the door. She unlocked the door and let him in.

"Hey," he said in the midst of a yawn.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help out. I guess my grandparents are coming by too but they are going to stop at the hospital first. I didn't want you to have to open on your own."

"Oh. Well, thanks," Haley said still slightly confused. She couldn't help but think that his father, considering his feelings about his brother, would not be happy about him helping out like this.

"What do you need me to do?" Nathan asked as he stepped behind the counter.

"We have to get the coffee going first. Do you know how to work the machines? I can do the espressos if you can do the coffee."

"I can figure out. I really need a cup anyway."

"You have a late night?" Haley couldn't help but ask. Last night had been a big win for the Ravens and she knew they had been more than one after-party.

"Not really. I was wiped after the game. Thanks for coming, by the way." Nathan paused, looking her in the eye as he added, "It really made a difference."

"You did have a pretty good game," Haley confirmed. She had heard that he was pulled out of the last game and wasn't sure why. This week he had definitely recovered. "Did you talk to Lucas last night?"

"Yeah," Nathan said looking away as he began to fiddle with the coffee machine. "Karen's awake now and she got to see the baby and everything," he said with a small smile.

"Awww! They must be so happy! Did they give her a name?"

"I didn't ask. It was pretty late when I talked to him and he was still sleeping this morning."

"Still sleeping? You called him this morning?"

"It's a long story, Hales. I don't want to get into right now. We can still talk later, right?"

"Sure," Haley said trying to push away her confusion. "How long are you staying?"

"As long as you need me," Nathan answered without hesitation.

* * *

Haley was grateful when Nathan and Lucas' grandparents arrived shortly after 9 a.m. She and Nathan had been able to handle the initial rush when they opened, but the business had picked up in the last hour and she was beginning to feel overwhelmed.

"Haley! Come over here and give me hug!" Mae said as soon as she walked through the doors. She quickly enveloped Haley in a hug and was promptly followed by her husband, Royal.

"I heard my grandson was here. Is he out back?" Royal asked surveying the scene.

"He's out back, in the kitchen," Haley said pointing.

Royal headed toward the kitchen leaving Mae and Haley to tend to the customers. They worked that way for a while until the second rush died down. When they sensed a lull, Royal and Nathan joined Mae and Haley behind the counter to catch up and work out a schedule for the rest of the day.

"So you saw the baby? What does she look like?" Haley asked excitedly.

"She's so tiny, but very healthy. She has a head full of black hair and bright blue eyes, just like my other grandchildren," Mae said putting her arm around Nathan.

"Did you get to see Karen? Do you know the baby's name?" Haley asked.

"She was asleep when we were there but we did talk to Keith. They named her Lily Rose," Mae said smiling brightly.

Haley and Nathan's eyes locked at the mention of the name. They were both caught a little off-guard but as the news settled, they managed to share a quick smile before they both looked away.

"That's a beautiful name," Haley said softly. "I can't wait to meet her. We didn't get to see her the other night. Did you get to see Lucas too?"

"No, but he just called and he's there now. He's sick of the hospital and wants to come by and help out. Can you go and pick him up, Nathan? Then, you and Haley can take a break," Royal suggested.

"Yeah, I can do that. That can be my break though. I'm fine to keep going after that."

"Sounds good. Maybe then I can take off and go talk to your dad?" Nathan looked at his grandfather skeptically before grabbing is car keys and heading towards the door. "Nathan," Royal called out after him, "Leave your father to me. You'll be back home in no time."

"Thanks, Grandpa, but I'm not sure that's what I want," Nathan said before letting the door shut behind him.

Haley looked at Mae letting her know she was confused by the exchange. Mae patted Haley on her back, trying to comfort her. "I know, Haley. This is confusing for all of us but to be honest I'm just so happy my grandsons are finally acting like cousins! Royal will get Dan to cool off and then maybe we can work on being a normal family for once!" Mae said hopefully.

Haley nodded slightly, not wanting to ask any more questions or discount Mae's optimism. She also decided that she would try and grab Lucas as soon as he arrived to find out what was going on. She wanted to know as much as possible before her talk with Nathan.

* * *

A short while later, Haley had her chance to talk one-on-one with Lucas. It still wasn't that busy when he arrived, so Haley headed out to take a short walk with him for her break.

"How's your mom?"

"She's okay. She's not going to be able to come home for a few days but we're just so grateful she and Lily are okay."

"Lily, huh?"

"Lily Rose. It was kind of weird. They hadn't picked out a name yet and they hadn't even discussed that one. She just kind of woke up and had the name in her head. It does seem to suit her though."

"I can't wait to see her!"

"They're thinking Tuesday they'll both be able to come home, but you can come by before then if you want. I'm sure Nathan would take you. You two are okay now, right?"

"I wouldn't call it that," Haley admitted. "When he told me about your mom, I just kind of put aside my anger."

"You're still angry, though?"

"Yeah. More hurt than angry really. I can't watch him go down this dark path. I just can't do it. I feel like if he knows I'm there for him, then he gets a pass to do whatever the hell he wants! I agreed to talk with him later and I need some advice. I know I could be fine just pushing him away but, and tell me if I'm wrong here, Luke, I'm sensing something different in him lately. It's like he's desperate. I haven't seen that before."

"I think he's hit bottom, Hales," Lucas said with certainty.

"Because of football? I know he got pulled from the game last week but last night—"

"He didn't get pulled, Haley. He had to leave." Lucas clarified. "He had some type of panic attack. I wouldn't have known that but that's what he told me. The medics had to come out and everything, but he refused to go to the hospital. His dad wouldn't come and pick him up either. My dad was the one to get him. We were looking for your dad but he wasn't there."

"Yeah," Haley said slowly trying to process this news. "We went to visit Taylor. She….had a problem… and we left Saturday afternoon to go find her." Haley paused trying to understand what had happened. "Did he ask for me?" Haley asked hesitantly.

"No, I told him before the game you weren't coming. Was that wrong? I only told him because he asked," Lucas said trying to explain it to her.

"No, it's just he's had those attacks before and I usually help him through it. What happened?"

"My dad helped calm him down. Then, we brought him home. Luckily Dan wasn't there because I'm sure that would have made it worse. I'm still not sure he knows about that."

"Your grandfather said something about Nathan not being home. Is that true?"

"Dan kicked him out. He's been staying with us."

Haley couldn't hide her shock if she tried. "Really?"

"Really. I'm not sure he wants to go back either."

"I can't imagine how pissed Dan must be!"

"Me either. I have to say that I'm proud of him for taking a stand. He's come a long way since last year."

"In some ways, Luke, but in other ways he hasn't," Haley said thinking of their relationship.

"I really think breaking away from his father is the first step. You know that's the only reason he wouldn't stand up to Damien, right?"

"No, I don't. I don't know anything because he doesn't tell me anything. I'm not sure I can do this again, Luke. I'm not sure I can let him back in."

"I wouldn't blame you, but I'm here for you either way. I'm just telling you what I see. What I see is Nathan going through some heavy stuff, but doing the right thing for once. It's even in the way he's talking. As weird as it sounds, we're becoming really close."

"We used to be like that. He used to be able to tell me anything," Haley said regretfully.

"Talk to him yourself. Hear him out and see if you notice a change. Then, think about it. But if you decide he's different, then lay it all on the line, Haley. Tell him what you need from him, what you'll stand for and what you won't. Don't hold anything back."

"Believe me, I won't!" Haley said quickly in agreement. If they had any chance of working, that was what had to happen.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "I Don't Want to Be" (Gavin DeGraw)

AN: I know not everything is explained with Nathan yet, but you will hear more from him in the next chapter. If you have been following, you know I reveal things in dribs and drabs, but eventually you do get the full story. For example, the song on the CD Nathan gave her was "More Than Anyone" by Gavin DeGraw, but that won't be confirmed until a future chapter. You can, however, get an idea of where Nathan is at by the song for the next chapter!

So I didn't get a lot of responses from the last chapter. I'm hoping the (partial) revelation of the big secret didn't turn too many readers away! I know it is a bit hard to take. Is it too much? I was interested to hear what you thought. It should help explain why Nathan and Rachel, and even Haley to some extent, are so screwed up. Watching the show, I always felt so bad for Nathan; having parents like that…parents impact a kid so much! Then, with the character of Rachel, there had to be a reason why she was such a bitch! The show used her weight problem as a child, but I always thought that was a little lame. So how bad do you feel for Rachel in this story? Does she get a free pass for past bad behavior? What about future bad behavior? I'm interested to hear, considering how the rest of the story is mapped out. Also, **thank you** to those of you that did respond! It did give me some encouragement!


	23. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

AN: Thanks to **Pamela!**

Chapter 22: "I Don't Want to Be" (Gavin DeGraw)

"I don't know where to begin," Nathan admitted as he took a seat across from Haley. They had just stopped and taken seats at one of the small wooden tables with stools along the Riverwalk after closing up the café for the evening. While it had been bright and sunny earlier, it was now dark and dreary with the threat of rain at any moment. The only saving grace for both of them was that area was pretty desolate for a Saturday evening, giving them lots of privacy.

"I'm just here to listen right now, Nathan. I can't give you much more than that yet," Haley said meeting his eyes.

"Then, I'll start with I'm sorry," Nathan said sincerely.

"You should buy then in bulk, if you're going to hand out apologies that often!" Nathan sounded like a broken record to Haley and she wasn't in the mood to have the same conversation they'd had before. He was going to have to say something new to keep her interest.

"Okay. Well, I guess the one thing I need you know about, the one thing I can't seem to control no matter how hard I try, is Damien."

"You can start by not talking to him! I don't understand how you can even look at him after—"

"It's not a simple as it sounds. Just hear me out." Haley slowly nodded her head remembering she was supposed to just be the one listening. "The Wests have this guy working for him, Daunte Jones. I always though he worked for my dad since he was around so often, but it turns out he works for them. Well, I overheard my dad talking to him, and it turns out this guy, Daunte, is one who puts pressure on my dad to use his power as mayor for the business interests of the Wests and their partners. I heard them talking about liquor licenses and having some pieces of land in a residential area zoned for commercial—you know what, it's probably better if you don't know the specifics. Anyway, my dad's having some trouble with that, and some other things," Nathan said purposely being vague, "so Daunte pulled me into this." Nathan took a quick look around and then leaned over the table. Picking up on need for more privacy, Haley leaned in as well. "He threatened me, Hales. He told me he would break my leg if my dad and I didn't cooperate. He knows what that would do for my basketball career. But it's not just my dad he wants working for him anymore. Now, he wants me to help Damien out during basketball season. He, or Mr. West really, wants me to help him shine when the scouts come. I'm supposed to give him all sorts of assists and let him rack up the points."

"You have to tell your dad! He'd never—"

"He was there, Haley. This all happened in our living room. He's not happy about it, but he feels like there's no choice. He hasn't really brought it up since either."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Lucas does. He wanted to tell Keith but then Karen was rushed to the hospital and now….I really think the less people that know, the better."

"I'm worried, Nathan. This sound pretty scary," Haley said nervously.

Nathan reached for hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hang out with him anymore. But I have to be on the team with him. If my dad does that stuff they were asking for, and I think that's what Daunte's really focused on, then I bet this will all die down. I'm only telling you this because I want you to know I would never let anyone talk to you like that. I wanted to kill him, Haley. I may have too, if Jake didn't stop me that night. For now, I'm just trying to be normal with him, but trust me when I tell you I hate his guts and don't trust him for a second."

Haley felt like her head was spinning and was anxious to start thinking about something else. She was sure she would have more questions later, but for now she needed to change the subject.

"Why did your dad kick you out?"

"Lucas told you?"

"I started to figure it out when you grandfather made that comment, but yeah, Lucas confirmed it."

"Right. Well I don't really know what happened to be honest with you. I just stood up to him for once and for the first time I wasn't afraid. I knew that Lucas and my uncle had my back and so I just went with it. I let him have it and he just…snapped. It was like he knew I was done putting up with his shit."

"Was it all about football?" Haley asked biting her lip nervously. She couldn't help but wonder if she was somehow apart of their big fight.

"No, it was more my normal family drama. He doesn't want me around Keith, or Karen for that matter. I think you were right, Haley. He's still got a thing for her."

"Really?"

"That's the only explanation that makes sense. Whatever. I'm not budging, Haley. Keith has already been more of a father to me than he has."

Knowing that he must have been referring to the game when he had the panic attack, Haley couldn't help but ask, "What happened at the game?"

"I had a panic attack. It was bad too. The worst part is that I could feel it coming on but I thought I could fight it off…"

"What did you do?" As far as Haley knew, she had always been there to help through his attacks. Even when they happened in school, Haley was the only one who had been able to calm him down. This was no secret, as even the James and Scotts had accepted this. They didn't understand it, but in the heat of the moment, the only thing people cared about was helping Nathan and Haley was the one who could do it.

"When I went down on that field, I was so scared. I was… so… terrified," he said slowly recalling that moment. "Then, I thought of you. I promised myself if I could just get up, I would go straight to you and tell you how much I need you. How much I want you. And that _nothing else matters_."

Haley looked away from his intense gaze, in an attempt to clear her head. His words were affecting her in a way that she was not comfortable with as she began to feel her resolve beginning to weaken. She knew he meant what he was saying, but it still wasn't enough for her.

"Why didn't you?" Haley asked remembering how she still hadn't heard from him that weekend.

"Keith wouldn't let me. He was the one who ended up helping me and said I needed to learn how to deal with this on my own. I guess he had panic attacks too growing up. Must be a side-effect of living under the same roof with Dan Scott," Nathan joked halfheartedly before turning serious again. "He taught me a few things. Like I guess it helps to have a distraction. That's what I think I was doing with you," Nathan said softly meeting her eyes. "But I guess it can work with other things too. You just focus your mind on a single thought until your breathing slows down. I probably need to be on meds, though. I can't let that happen again."

"That's good, that you're dealing with this now and in the right way." Haley began to doubt her role all those years in his attacks. She began to consider that instead of helping him, she was just keeping him stuck in the same pattern and prevented him from seeking out real help.

"It was good that you weren't there for me that time because I don't want to put that on you anymore," Nathan said reading her thoughts. "I want in you in my life, Haley. I don't want to need you like I did when I was on the field, like I have all these years. I just want…_to want you_ and not _need you_ so much. There's a difference and it's a pretty big one in my book."

In this moment, Haley began to see the change in Nathan the Lucas told her about. It was as if calmness had washed over him. His manner was determined, and focused, but not pushy or demanding. She attributed this to finally making a clear break from his father. The most striking thing to her was what he was actually saying. In talking about the difference between wanting and needing someone, it sounded an awful like an adult relationship to her. In making the distinction, Nathan was trying to move them beyond the ramifications of their shared childhood trauma and into something new and distinct. As much as she tried to resist it, this possibility sounded appealing and exciting. Knowing the path her emotions were about to lead her down, Haley decided it was time to speak her mind and lay everything out on the table as Lucas had advised.

"What do you want, exactly, Nathan?" she pressed him.

"I want to be with you. I want to really try and make it work. No secrets, no hiding anything."

"Wasn't that supposed to happen after the summer? Didn't we already have this conversation? What happened this summer?" Haley pretty much knew the answer but she needed to hear it directly from him.

"I made a lot of mistakes, Haley. Sometimes, because of my dad. Sometimes, by choice. I can't do it anymore. I'm not going to." Nathan paused before explaining further. "My dad fed me all this crap about how I was going to hurt you and ruin any chance I had with you in the future. The funny thing is that I ended up doing that anyway. I still don't know if he was messing with me or not. Doesn't matter though. It's not going to happen again," he sincerely promised.

"I'm actually more concerned about Rachel," Haley said hesitantly. She knew where she was going with this but dreaded getting there. In her mind, it had to be said. It was the only way she could see them having any type of relationship.

"Yeah, I know she put my dad up to it," Nathan nodded.

"It's more than that. She's never going to let us be. I can see that now. Even before…everything…Do you remember how jealous she always was?"

"Like when she'd flip out when we'd play house and you were the mom and I was the dad?" Nathan smiled at the memory.

"What did she expect? We couldn't do it any other way!" Haley protested, laughing.

"How about when we'd play Sorry! and she'd destroy the game every time I sent her home?"

"Well, you always sent her home, even when you should have sent me!"

"Yeah," Nathan said smiling brightly, "you caught me. I was even trying to score points with you then!"

Both of them laughed before Haley turned serious again. "She's not going to let this go," Haley said shaking her head. "She lies, Nathan and she's going to keep lying and feeding your dad all kinds of B. I don't want to be the cause of your problems. I don't want your dad upset with you because of me. She's so vindictive, Nathan! I mean, I kind of get why, she's so screwed up but—"

"Haley!" Haley stopped talking when Nathan interrupted her, making her realizing she had been babbling. "You're not telling me anything I don't know."

Haley cleared her throat and got right to the point. "I need you to _choose me_. Over her. I know that's a lot to ask but I think it's the only way it's going to work."

"I already did, Haley," Nathan said unfazed.

"But she's your family, Nate. So is your dad. Do you really want to cut them out?"

"I know you said they're my family, Haley, but the truth is they're not. Not like a family is supposed to be anyway. I didn't see that until recently. The only other family I was around growing up was yours and I just though your family was the crazy one."

"We are kind of wacky" Haley admitted with a smile. "But you have history with your family and I know it's not fair to expect me to disregard that."

"If you're talking about history, Haley, your family was more like a family to me than my own. Your dad was one to come to all my games and you mom is the one who cooks me my favorite dinner for my birthday. Plus, how many times did your family take me in when my parents flew off somewhere?"

"But they're your blood, Nathan…"

"Okay, if that's your argument, then so are Keith and Lucas. In the past month, both have acted more like a father and sibling to me than Dan and Rachel ever have. And then there's Karen. Did you know how she arranged an intervention for my mom? She had my Uncle Coop there, along with Jules, she made Rachel come and somehow we got through to my mom. I honestly believe I would have found my mom dead one day from an o.d. if she hadn't gone away."

"I wish I could have been there," Haley said quietly.

"I know. You should have been too. That was my fault," Nathan said regretfully. "So if it's blood you're considered about I have that too, especially with my mom getting healthy. What else do you have?" Haley sat there silently picking up on the focus in his eyes. "You're not going to win this one, Hales. I'll choose you over them _every time_."

Haley fought back the tears as he said the words she had wanted to her. She couldn't take joy in those words knowing the cost of them. "I hate myself for asking you to do that," she said as a tear escaped one of her eyes and feel down her face.

"Hey," Nathan said as he reaching over and brushing her tear away. "You didn't need to ask; it's already done. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't just choose you. I chose Keith, Karen and Lucas. Even Lily, now. And my mom, of course too. But really, I chose myself because my father just won't let me be. And Rachel's right there with him. I'm tired of looking around rooms wondering what I gotta do or who I'm supposed to be. I don't want all that. It was tearing me up inside. I just want some peace of mind."

"And you think you'll have it?" Haley asked skeptically. She was unbelievably impressed with his maturity and determination, but she couldn't help but think he was being a little idealistic. "You think he's going to give up and just let you live with Keith?"

"My mom will be home in two weeks. I don't want to be there when Karen and Lily come home from the hospital; you know their house is kind of small, so I'm going to ask my grandparents to stick around a bit longer. Then, I'm hoping my Uncle Coop can come. Honestly, I don't feel like I need any of them, but my dad's lawyer won't let me be on my own and technically he has custody so I need to have someone staying with me. It looks like it's just a matter of time before he pulls me off the team though. Even my mom's lawyer can't fight that one."

"You really think that's going to happen?"

"Yup. I'm over it though. I like football and all, but basketball is more important. I'm just giving my father a run for his money at his point."

"Sounds like it. I'm still nervous about all of this, Nathan. I still can't help but worry about Rachel too. I just keep thinking about what happened to her…" Haley trailed off.

"Let my dad worry about that. My mom too, really. We were crazy to think we could hand it all in the first place. Don't you see that now? We were just kids. Eight and ten years old and we thought we could take care of her! Well, we couldn't and shouldn't have had to! It's off my conscience now and it should be off yours too. You said it yourself; it's the only way it's going to work. You have to let it go. If, that is..." Nathan said eyeing her carefully,"...you want this to work. Do you, Hales? Tell me where your head's at."

Haley swallowed hard. She knew this question was coming and she had come here with every intention of taking her time to think things over. She knew the hold that Nathan could have over her and thought it was best not to give him an answer right away.

In spite of all, she found herself saying, "I think I do."

"Really?" Nathan asked surprised. "I don't want to pressure you. I'll be fine, you know. You don't have to feel sorry for me."

"I know you will, Nathan," Haley said tearing up. "I can see that. I'm so proud of you," she said taking his hand. "I want to be with the guy who's sitting here in front of me now. I just can't go back to that place…"

"I won't hurt you like that again, I promise. The only way this is going to end is if you decide you want it to. But I won't screw up anymore. You know everything about me now, Haley, and I'll keep telling you everything."

"What about the drinking?"

"I won't do it. I'm done with the parties too. Unless you want to go that is. It's all your call. What else?"

"No messages through anyone. You know I don't trust Rachel but I don't want to drag anyone else into this either. That includes Lucas, now that you two are close. I know we can talk everything out if we just are honest and don't involve anyone else."

"That's easy, too," Nathan said. He then waited to see if there was anything else.

"The only other thing is how you treat me, Nathan. I'm not the same as I was before. I won't put up with you going back and forth on me. I need you be totally committed to me."

"I am. I know you need time to be able to trust that, but you'll see. Just promise me one thing, too?" Haley nodded for him to continue.

"If you ever want out, don't be afraid to tell me. I just need you tell me yourself. That's all I ask. I can handle it."

"That's basically what I was trying to say too. I'll always tell you how I feel. I really hope I never feel that way though, Nate. So please just treat me right and we won't have this problem?" Haley said with a hopeful smile.

"I will, I swear and it can start right now if you want it to. If you need some time, I get that too."

"I need slow, Nathan. We can't pick up where we left off. We need to go back to square one."

"I'm prepared to do that and I'm going to do it right this time," he said standing up looking at the sky and the darkening clouds. Haley looked at him confused. "Let's go, Haley."

"Where are we going?" Haley said joining him as rain drops started to fall.

"Either way, I need to talk to your dad."

"What? Why?"

"I need to tell him that I want to date his daughter. I meant what I said, Hales. I'm not playing games anymore," Nathan said with the same determination he had during the course of their entire conversation.

* * *

"You ready for this?" Nathan said as they reached Haley's front door. They were both soaking wet, but didn't seem to mind. In fact, the walk that turned into a run on the way home had actually been kind of fun for them.

"Me? You're the one who should be nervous!" Haley elbowed him.

"No, I'm not nervous, Hales. I was nervous before I talked to you. Now, I've never felt better. Think they'll be surprised?"

"No, I think they've been expecting this day for a long time. I am a little worried about what they'll have to say though. They've been so strict with me lately."

"I guess we'll see…I'm ready," he said holding open the door for Haley.

Haley walked in and called out for her parents. She could tell by the sound coming from the den, they were in there watching tv. Upon hearing their names, they quickly joined Nathan and Haley who were still standing in front of the door.

"Nathan!" Lydia greeted him along with a hug. "Let me get you both a towel."

"Hey son, good game last night! We haven't seen you a while. How was High Flyers?"

"Intense, but in a good way." Lydia returned with two towels and Nathan and Haley began wiping themselves down."I was actually hoping to sit down and talk with both of you," Nathan said anxious to get to the point.

"Sure," Lydia said surprised. "Let's go in the kitchen."

The four of them headed into the kitchen and settling into seats at the kitchen table, with Lydia and Jimmy on one side and Haley and Nathan on the other.

"Is everything, okay?" Lydia asked.

"Depends on what you're talking about these days, Mrs. James. That's not really what I wanted to talk about though."

"Now, I'm worried," Jimmy said sounding serious. "This involves Haley?"

"Yes. I, uh, well," Nathan stammering. He hadn't expected to be so nervous but he began to feel like heart was caught in his throat as Jimmy stared him down. "I want to start dating Haley," he finally blurted out. His nerves continued to rattle as Jimmy and Lydia looked at each other. "I know I've made mistakes and I haven't been around lately, but I want to change and I swear it'll be different now—" Nathan stopped talking as Haley's parents burst into a fit of laughter.

"Is that all?" Lydia asked getting up. "You scared us half to death! Who wants ice cream?" she asked opening the freezer.

"For a second there I thought you were going to tell me you got Haley preg—"

"Jimmy!" Lydia interrupted her husband. "Haley is not Taylor. Don't you start that!"

Jimmy's face stayed serious for the moment as he thought this over, before he relaxed, and began chuckling. " You're telling me you want _to start_ dating her? Who have you two been kidding?" Jimmy asked laughing.

"Dad! We haven't been together and you said you wanted us to tell you—"

"Oh, Haley Bob," Lydia said placing bowls in front of them. "How do you explain that hickey Nathan gave you last summer?"

Haley's eyes widened as her face began to flush various shades of red. She took a quick glance at Nathan to see his face red as well.

"I told you I had the hives," Haley said softly.

"Hives, my ass! That was the same spot your father used to give me—"

"Mom!" Haley said mortified. She quickly put her hands in her head as her parents began to laugh once again.

"I just love how you gave her that fruit scarf to wear! Boy, you really played that one up, Lydia!" Jimmy joked.

"I couldn't resist! Then, I thought you'd cave with I gave you that Benadryl, but no, you had to take that too, just to keep up the ruse. I'm telling you two, you can't get anything past us."

"We really haven't been dating, though. Not officially anyway," Nathan said speaking up. "And I want to do this right. I'm not telling you, I'm asking."

"We do need to set some ground rules," Jimmy said eyeing him carefully.

"Jimmy…" Lydia warned as she began doling out scoops of ice cream into the bowls.

"We talked about this, Lydia. Look Haley, I know you're not Taylor, but in a way we have more of a reason to be concerned with you and Nathan since, you two are already so close."

"We're going to take this slow, Daddy. We already talked about that," Haley said assuredly.

"That's good, but we still need to set some things straight."

"Whatever you want, Mr. James," Nathan said straightening up.

"First, no more spending the night under the same roof. Things are different now so you can't expect to sleepover at the Scotts, Haley," Jimmy said.

"That won't be a problem," Nathan agreed.

"The second rule is no sex."

"Jimmy!" Lydia said hitting her husband's shoulder as she took a seat back at the table. "You can't tell them that! Do you remember when we—"

"Lydia," Jimmy said sternly eying his wife. "We made some mistakes with Taylor and we are not going to make then again." Jimmy turned his attention back to Nathan and Haley. "The last rule is simple. If for any reason, you can't follow the first two rules, we expect you to come to us."

Haley was so embarrassed she was unable to look at anyone so she just played with her ice cream instead.

She looked up when, much to her surprise, Nathan spoke. "I can do that, Mr. James. I respect you and your family, and especially Haley," he said putting his hand on Haley's shoulder.

Jimmy stood up and extended his hand to Nathan. "That's all I needed to hear!" Haley continued to sit there in shock as Nathan stood up and shook her father's hand. It was bad enough when her parents sat her down last spring for yet another "sex talk," but to have Nathan there for this one made her want to crawl under a shell. Furthermore, other than the hickey reference, Nathan seemed to be taking this all in stride. All Haley could think about at this point was damn Taylor and her issues!

"She's your headache now, Nathan," Lydia joked.

"What is this? The 1800's? I'm right here, you know! Don't I get a say in any of this or are the three of you ready to start bargaining for my dowry?" Haley asked frustrated being left of the conversation.

"What the hell is that, Haley?" Nathan asked confused at the term.

"It's when—it doesn't matter! You can't all start making decision for me!" Haley stood up and stormed out of the kitchen heading towards the den.

Lydia and Jimmy began laughing immediately. "Like I said, Nate, she's all yours!" Lydia said brightly.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Hanging by a Moment" (Lifehouse)

AN: This chapter was a lot of set up for what is to come…even in terms of what I am thinking for the sequel. Thank you for reading and especially to those of you that reviewed. 10 + chapters of Naley coming your way, filled with drama, of course, but lots of payoff as well if you've been sticking with the story! I'd love to hear your thoughts if you're reading.


	24. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 23: "Hanging by a Moment" (Lifehouse)

"Don't ring the bell! The baby might be sleeping!" Haley warned, as they approached the front entrance of Keith and Karen Scott's house.

"Why are we here then? Just to watch the baby sleep?" Nathan teased her.

"I need to see your grandparents before they leave, too," Haley explained indignantly. "Knock quietly," she ordered him.

Nathan complied and the door was quickly opened by Lucas.

"Hey!" Lucas greeted them. "Good timing. My mom is just about finished feeding her and Brooke's on her way over too."

"Really?" Haley asked curiously eyeing Lucas. She wasn't aware that Brooke was open to spending time with Lucas again.

"Who would have guessed my baby sister could be a babe magnet?" Lucas joked.

"Haley! Nathan!" Mae said coming out from the kitchen, followed by Keith and Royal.

They all exchanged quick hugs before Haley and Nathan took seats on the couch. A minute later, Karen appeared caressing her newborn baby. She had the thick head full of hair Mae had described and her sparkling blue eyes indicated she was very alert. Karen looked great as well; in fact, she had that new mother glow people often spoke about.

"Nathan? Would you like to hold your new cousin, Lily?" Karen asked.

"I've never…I'm not sure I'd be good—"

Before Nathan could finish protesting, Karen leaned over and placed the dainty little girl into his large muscular arms. Everyone exchanged smiles as they watched Nathan begin to cradle his cousin. The two of them appeared to be examining each other as the room fell silent.

Wanting to get a closer look herself, Haley leaned over Nathan's shoulder and began complimenting the beauty of the baby. "Aren't you the cutest thing? And look at those blue eyes! I love those Scott eyes!" Haley said, lightly brushing Lily's cheek with her finger.

Just then, Lily yawned, setting off a chorus of "Aww's."

"Are you tired, Lily?" Nathan cooed. Haley couldn't help but smile brightly as she watched Nathan begin to talk to the baby. His entire demeanor had shifted; his voice, his facial expressions, his body language. He was so soft and gentle with her and Haley was completely aware that this was a side of Nathan that not many people had seen before. In the past, he had kept this part of him hidden, with maybe the exception of her, but even when she could get through to him, she could always tell his emotions all were bottled up. But now, Haley couldn't get over how relaxed he seemed as he quickly became immersed in the slightest of Lily's movements, pointing each of them out, as he continued to cradle her.

Soon enough, Lily began to close her eyes and fall asleep.

"Guess you have the magic tough, Nathan!" Keith said. "Want to come by, at… say 3 a.m.? That seems to be the time she's wide awake!" Everyone laughed as they watched Lily drift into a deep sleep.

"I can put her down for a nap if you want," Karen suggested coming over to check on them.

Nathan adamantly shook his head, as he gripped her tight, pushing her closer to his chest. "No, no. I don't want to wake her. She's fine here."

Haley raised her eyebrows at Lucas and they both exchanged smiles. Nathan didn't pick up on this, as he hadn't taken his eyes off of Lily.

A couple of minutes later everyone jumped as the doorbell rang. Nathan was slightly miffed at the sound and Haley was all too happy to shoot him a knowing look.

A minute later, Brooke bounced into the house carrying an armful of things.

"Oh, she's sleeping!" Brooke said embarrassed. "Well, I brought some presents for her and you, Karen!" Brooke said quietly dropping a large basket and a few gift bags on the floor.

Karen took a seat in the recliner as attention shifted to her opening the gifts.

Haley's interest lied elsewhere as she rested her head on Nathan's shoulder watching him interact with Lily. Neither one of them noticed when Keith grabbed his camera and began taking pictures of them. When they heard the clicks, Haley and Nathan looked up and smiled, now posing for the picture.

"Lucas, get in there, will you?" Royal asked. "We'd love a copy of that picture with both our grandsons."

Haley began to get up, not wanting to impose of the picture of the Scott grandchildren, but stopped when Mae spoke up. "Stay, Haley. We want you in this picture too." Haley sat back down as Lucas sat on the opposite sided of Nathan. After a few clicks, Keith stopped distracted by the quiet sob that escaped from his mother.

Tears were streaming down Mae's face and everyone began to look nervous. Keith set down his camera and walked over and put his arm around his mother.

"Mom? You okay?"

"I just...never…thought I'd see this day. Both of my boys, sitting side-by-side with my new granddaughter." Everyone began to release the collective breaths they'd been holding as they surmised Mae was crying tears of happiness. The mood quickly changed when Mae's sobs began to grow louder as she bellowed, "I just wish Rachel was here!"

"Come on, Mae," Royal said taking charge of the situation. Keith moved away as Royal began to guide his wife towards the kitchen so she could collect herself privately.

"Why don't we get a picture with Brooke?" Keith said, aiming for a distraction as he picked back up his camera.

"I'd love to!" Brooke said sitting down next to Lucas. They looked at each other awkwardly before Lucas lifted up his arm to put around her. Nathan saw this and looked over nervously at Haley. He felt like he should put his arm around Haley as well, but he didn't want to disturb Lily. Haley shook her head at him, clearly amused, when she realized he was not, in fact, going to move his arm for her. She snuggled up against him instead, as Keith finished taking his pictures for the evening.

* * *

Haley walked out of her last block class and headed toward her locker. It was one of the few days she didn't have any appointments lined up at the Tutor Center or a shift at the café and she looked forward to leisurely afternoon plopped in front of the tv.

As she walked towards the doors to exit the school, Nathan appeared from the opposite direction and their eyes met. Haley's heart began to flutter as she looked him up and down, in his jeans and long-sleeve black shirt with his backpack slung over his shoulders. A second later, Damien, Tim and a few other guys called out to Nathan, causing him to look away. Disappointed at losing his attention, Haley turned towards the doors, preparing to exit.

"Haley!" Nathan called out, running after her. Haley stopped, allowing him to catch up with her. She smiled brightly at him until she noticed the guys Nathan had just left were staring at them, leaving her feeling incredibly self-conscious. Unfazed by their gawking, Nathan reached over and gently brushed her hair along the side of her face and smiled back.

"You look beautiful today, Hales," Nathan said gently as he pulled on the sides of her red jacket. Haley began to blush as her body began to heat up at his close proximity to her.

"Isn't this cute? I hope she's worth it, son."

Nathan and Haley looked up to see Dan, who had just entered the building. Nathan reached over and held Haley's hand, and straightened up, looking at his father square in the eyes.

"Guess, what I have here?" Dan asked, holding up a folded piece of paper. Nathan rolled his eyes and remained silent. "Fine, I'll tell you. It's a court order taking you off the team."

As Dan began walk away, Nathan called after him. "What team, Dad? Football or basketball?" Dan turned back around and slowly walked back towards them. "Oh, wait. You need me to stay on the basketball team, right?" Nathan scoffed. "Whatever works for _you_, Dad, right?"

Dan narrowed his eyes, taking time to look at both Nathan and Haley before respond. He leaned in to both of them. "Watch it, son. You never know who is listening," he warned them quietly. Dan then turned around and began to head off again, leaving them both to watch him walk away.

"I guess I don't have to go to practice today," Nathan said trying to sound cheerful. "Have anything planned for your afternoon?"

"Actually, I have a date with my couch."

"Think there might be some room for me there?" Nathan smiled at her as they headed out towards the parking lot.

"I'll have to see," Haley flirted back.

"I'll take my chances then. Besides, if you won't let me sit next to you, I can always just ask your dad! I bet he'll let me!" Haley let go of his hand and gently pushed him away as he laughed. "I guess I deserved that!"

Haley was unable to suppress a laugh herself as she let him open his car door for her to get in. As she got in his car, Haley was happy to see that despite his best efforts, Dan had been unable to affect Nathan. In a few quick moments, they had faced both Nathan's jock friends and his father. Next on the list was Rachel. Haley decided to take Nathan's lead for the afternoon and not let the problems that loomed in their future get to her. For now, she was content to spend the afternoon reconnecting with the guy who knew how to push all her buttons, for better or worse.

* * *

"Hey, Mrs. Burns," Nathan said as he walked into her classroom before the start of the school day.

"Hey, Nathan. Was everything okay with your letter? Do you need another copy?"

"Actually, I was here to see Haley," Nathan said as he spotted Haley reading a book at the back of the classroom.

Haley looked up at the mention of her name and put her book down.

"What's up?"

"I have some good news," he said excitedly as he sat down next to her. "When my mom comes home this weekend, we're going back to the house and my dad has to take the beach house."

"Really? How did that work out?"

"I guess the house is in my mom's name," Nathan grinned. "That means I'll be back down the street from you!"

"What about Rachel?" Haley asked, not engaging in his enthusiasm.

"They're still trying to work that one out," he sighed. "My bet is that she goes with my dad."

"At the beach house?" Haley asked nervously. She knew how Rachel hated that house and had trouble sleeping there.

"It's her choice, Hales, even if she doesn't do what's best for her. There's nothing we can do."

"Is that what you want?"

"We haven't talked since the night my dad kicked me out so I don't really know. If she's all 'Team Dan' then I guess it's better she goes with him, but I really think she's better off with my mom in the long-run. Have you talked to her?"

"She's in three of my classes, but she just ignores me. She changed her seat and everything. It's not like I care anyway," Haley said unconvincingly.

Nathan and Haley looked up as few students began to filter into the classroom, including Lucas. Nathan stood up and greeted Lucas as he headed towards the seat next to Haley's.

"How's Lily doing?" Nathan asked. Lucas and Haley, both amused, looked at each and smiled.

"Great. Can't wait until she's sleeping at night instead of the day, but otherwise great. Come by soon, huh?" Lucas suggested.

"Sure thing."

"How about before the football game? Then we can all head in together?" Haley shot Lucas an anxious looking indicating that he may have struck a nerve with Nathan. It would be his first game, not on the team after all. "Or where you going to sit on the bench?" Lucas asked hesitantly.

"No, I'm done," Nathan said unaffected by the question. "It'll be weird watching from the stands, but I'm game for it. I better get going," Nathan said glancing at the clock.

As he exited the door he stopped at Mrs. Burns desk. "What are you working on now with these guys?" Nathan asked curiously.

"_Julius Caesar_," Mrs. Burns answered.

"Piece of cake. We did that last year."

"You did seem to grasp some of those themes quite well," Mrs. Burns smiled.

"Thanks!" Nathan looked back at Haley and Lucas, who had overheard their conversation and smiled proudly at them before heading out the door.

"Who knew?" Lucas chuckled.

"Maybe he can help me! I'm already stressed about the essay due before Thanksgiving break!" Haley said putting her head down on her desk in a fit of frustration.

* * *

"So they've been dating since the start of the school year, but I heard," Brooke said dropping her voice as she leaned in close to Haley and Peyton, "that their parents don't know that….you know…" she trailed off.

"No, I don't know," Peyton said perplexed.

"That he's…you know…and she's…you know…" Brooke said raising her eye brows and nodding her head.

"Wait!" Peyton said loudly. "You mean that he's black and she's white?"

"No, no." Haley said just as loudly. "I know the Taylors, and they won't care that Bevin is—"

"Do you girls even know what the score is?" Nathan asked agitated as he turned around to face the girls. Next to him were Lucas and Jake who were still trying to pay close attention to the game.

"You sound like Haley!" Peyton laughed.

Nathan looked at Haley surprised. "Really? So what's the score then, Haley?" he challenged her.

"Well, uh," Haley stammered. She then leaned in close to Nathan and looked up smiling sweetly. "See, the thing is, I only really cared about watching the game when you were in it."

"Is that so?" Nathan's eyes shifted to Haley's lips where he held them there for a minute, debating whether to kiss her or not.

"Go, go, go!"

Nathan turned around quickly to watch the Raven's score a touchdown. "Nice! They're going to go for the conversion!"

"You really think Bevin's parents will care?" Haley asked Brooke restarting their earlier conversation.

"Probably not. Well you know Bevin, right? So just imagine her parents! They're real laidback people which is why I don't understand why Bevin is keeping this from them," Brooke explained.

Nathan, Lucas and Jake turned around, all obviously annoyed and distracted by the girl's incessant chatter during the first quarter.

"We're going to watch the game by the sidelines," Jake said. He leaned over and gave Peyton a quick kiss on the lips. "Come find us at half time?"

"Sure," Peyton beamed.

Nathan looked uncomfortably at Haley and gave her a slight nod and small smile before heading off.

"Tutor Girl, what was that about?" Brooke asked once the boys were out of earshot range.

Haley sighed, not liking they had noticed Nathan's uneasiness around her. "I don't know what is going on with him. It's been almost two weeks and he hasn't even kissed me yet!"

"Really? _Nathan's_ _afraid to make a move_?" Brooke asked incredulously.

"He's not like that with me, Brooke. I know he had a reputation before, but I haven't seen that side of him."

"It's true. He never once made a move on me," Peyton confirmed. "Damien, on the other hand, will hit on anything that walks!"

Both girls noticed Haley stiffened at the mention of Damien.

Brooke took charge directing the conversation back to its original topic. "Okay, but you've kissed before right, Haley?" Haley nodded. "So what's the difference now?"

Haley bit her lip trying to figure it out herself. "Maybe because I told him I wanted to go slow?"

"There's slow and then there's sloooow," Brooke said pitifully.

"Maybe he hasn't had a chance?" Peyton asked trying to understand. "Have you been spending time together?"

"Yes! He's at my house practically every day and always stops by when I'm working at the café. He comes into my first block class to talk to me before school starts, then waits to drive me home after, even if I have appointments at the Tutor Center! We went to the movies last weekend—"

"Okay, clearly the boy wants to be around you! He must be looking for a signal from you." Brooke guessed.

"What about making the first move, Haley?" Peyton suggested.

"I guess I might have to!"

"That's my girl!" Brooke said patting her on the back. "We'll go find them at halftime," Brooke said with a wicked smile.

"Not now! I can't do it tonight, in front of all these people!" Haley said looking around.

"Relax," Brooke laughed. "So it looks like things are really going well for you and Jake, huh?" Brooke said leaning over Haley to make eye contact with Peyton.

"Yeah, uh, they are," Peyton's smile quickly faded as she grew silent.

"Is there something wrong?" Haley asked.

"Well, there's this secret and I'm just dying to tell someone because I need some advice," Peyton said in a hushed voice.

"Tell us, tell us!" Brooke said excitedly as she bounced up and down a bit.

"This isn't gossip, Brooke," Peyton said snidely.

"What is it, Peyton?" Haley asked concerned. "You can trust us. Right, Brooke?" Haley shot Brooke a telling look. To her relief Brooke nodded sincerely.

Haley relaxed sensing a shift in the relationship between the two girls. It had actually seemed to help that their lockers were next to each other, as they had managed to be on speaking terms since the start of the school year. It had also helped when Jake returned and took Peyton's attention away from Lucas. Then, when all of Haley's drama began, both girls had come together and to support her. In fact, ever since Haley's birthday party, the girls had willingly spent time together, although that had always been in a group setting. Now, with Peyton about to confide in Brooke, and Brooke willing to let that happen, Haley could see the remnants of their friendship being pieced back together.

"Remember when Jake was gone at the end of last school year?" Both girls nodded and Peyton continued. "Turns out his girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend that is, had a baby!"

"Whose baby?" Brooke asked wide-eyed.

"Jake's!" Both girls gasped at Peyton's response.

"No!" Brooke said in disbelief.

"I know, right? I had no idea. So I guess Jake was dealing with that all summer. Nikki's family is in Savannah and that's where she had the baby but then…" Peyton paused for effect, "she left for college and left the baby with Jake!"

"So Jake's raising the baby?" Haley asked, still reeling from the news.

"With his parents in Tree Hill," she confirmed. "He's so committed to her, you should see it," Peyton said melting.

"You met her?" Brooke piped in.

"By accident. Once I heard he was back, I stopped by his house and he was holding Jenny—"

"Jenny!" Haley said excitedly as a mental image formed in her head.

"—and then he told me everything." Peyton finished.

"And you're still with him?" Brooked asked incredulously.

"I _really, really_, like him Brooke," Peyton said hopelessly.

"But a kid, P. Sawyer?"

"I know it's a lot, but his parents are helping out and they let him take nights off, like tonight. I'm not sure if he's going to get to do basketball, but—"

"No basketball?" Haley interrupted. "He can't quit the team!"

"I don't think he has a choice. His parents work second shift most days so I know he can't make all the practices. The only thing is that I think he was hoping to get a scholarship."

"He should talk to Whitey," Haley suggested confidently.

"Whitey? That crusty old man? You think he'd care at all—" Brooke started.

"You might be surprised. He was really good to Lucas back when Nathan and he got into that fight last year," Haley elaborated.

"You know, I forgot how they used to hate each other!" Brooke blurted out, making all three girls laugh.

"Thank God that's behind us!" Haley exclaimed. Turning to Peyton, she added, "Let us help you out when you need it, huh? You've been there for me lately and I'm here if you need me."

Peyton looked at both Brooke and Haley nervously. "I just don't want this getting out. It's not my secret, you know?"

"You can trust us," Brooke affirmed. "Now, let us go find the boys!"

* * *

Nathan looked around as the halftime buzzer sound and began to feel a little awkward. He was used to heading into the team room this time; getting ready to break down plays with his teammates and strategize for the second half. He looked around, unsure of what it meant to be a spectator at a football game. So far, what he had learned was that for most people, going to the game was more about socializing than anything else and he wasn't sure how he felt about this. He knew what it was like to out there on the field and although knowing not everyone was paying attention might have relieved some of the pressure, his competitive drive was disappointed in the so-called fans. Looking for cues as to what to do next, he watched as people began to shift towards the concession stand. Nathan followed Lucas and Jake over towards that area.

Nathan stood in line with Lucas and Jake, just to have something to do, as he had no intention of ordering something silly like popcorn, which seemed like the kind of thing you would get at a movie. No, watching sports was not entertainment to him.

Nathan turned around and felt butterflies in his stomach as he saw Haley, accompanied by Peyton and Brooke, approaching from the distance. He wasn't comfortable with this feeling at all. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling; it was a combination and of excitement and nerves, kind of similar to the way he felt before a big game. The difference was, once the game started, his always confidence set it and he let his instincts take over. With Haley, he didn't have that same confidence and he sure as hell didn't know how to act, and he was afraid to let his instincts take over. If he did, if he acted the way he really felt, he was afraid he would scare her away. The truth was he wanted to hold her, to kiss her and God, he really wanted to touch her. Most of all, the one thing he was sure of was that the more time they spent together, the more he was falling in love with her.

Haley had been clear with him. He needed to treat her right. He needed to go slow. They had to go back to square one. Problem was, what exactly was square one? Was that friends? To be honest, he wasn't sure he could remember a time when they were truly _just friends_. There had always been something more to them. So was dating square one then? The thing was, they'd never officially dated either. Things had just sort of _happened _between them.

The other thing she had told him was that he had to commit to her. At least that one was easy. No matter where they stood, no matter how long it took him to redeem himself in her eyes, he would be there waiting. Just like it said in the words of the song she'd told him she hated…

Nathan tried to put his game face on as Haley joined him in line. "Hey, you want something?" Nathan asked nonchalantly as they neared the front of the concession line.

"I'll say she does," Brooke teased. Haley's face immediately began to redden. Nathan looked at them confused.

"You okay?" he questioned Haley as he lightly put his hands on her shoulders. The combination of his touch and eyes, proved to be too much for Haley, as she began to feel chills throughout her body.

Nathan could sense this, and since she hadn't really answered his question, he decided it might be best to get away from the group. "Let's go for a walk," Nathan said guiding her away from the group.

"Here's your chance, Haley!" Brooke called after them.

"Go get 'em, Haley!" Peyton joined in.

"What is that about?" Nathan asked, still perplexed.

"Nothing," Haley muttered. "So are you missing football?" Haley asked, aiming for a distraction.

"Yeah," Nathan sighed. "More than I thought I would."

"You know, I bet you could get back on the team when you mom comes home. Maybe in time for the Thanksgiving Day game?" Haley asked hopefully.

"Naw, it's cool. Basketball will be here soon enough." Nathan paused and then took her hand in his. "Besides, I have more important things to focus on," he said meeting her eyes.

Haley noticeably shivered and looked away, causing Nathan to stop.

"You have that look, Haley," Nathan said sternly.

"What look?"

"The look that says you have something to tell me but you really don't want to."

Haley shook her head, frustrated. Of course, he knew that look. She also knew how stubborn he was and that he wasn't going to let this drop. She looked around at all the people around, and began to bite her lip.

"You want to go some place quiet?" Nathan asked. "There's this spot right by the locker room entrances. No one will probably be there right now." Haley nodded.

Nathan led her under the stadium bleachers, past the bathrooms and behind a barricade separating the area typically reserved for athletes. He walked her over so they were behind a wall and out of view from the area for fans.

"Talk to me," Nathan said as locked his hands around her back.

Haley looked up into his eyes and focused on the wave of adrenaline rushing through her body. She put her arms around his neck and whispered, "I actually don't want to talk." She smiled as she briefly registered the look of surprise on Nathan's face.

Haley leaned up on the tip of her toes and began to kiss him fiercely. It didn't take Nathan long to respond as he began to kiss her back, pulling her closer to him at the same time. Before long, Nathan felt her tongue in his mouth and moved his hands to her hair, allowing for even deeper kisses.

"Isn't this cute!"

Nathan and Haley stopped kissing, but didn't move, not needing to see who had spoken. Not only did they recognize Rachel's high pitched voice, but she was echoing the same words Dan had used a few weeks earlier when he spotted them together for the first time.

"Sorry to interrupt. Then, again, that's all I ever did to you two, huh? I was just some interruption to your fairytale story."

"Grow up, Rachel!" Haley said turning to face her. "You can't bully us anymore into feeling bad for you!"

"I'm the one who feels bad _for you_. Just wait till Nathan get's what he wants from you. Then, he'll drop you like it was nothing."

"Shut up, Rachel," Nathan ordered her. "You know, you sound like a broken Dan Scott record. Get some new material, huh?"

"Don't worry about that, big brother. Just wait until the James' find out about your sneaking around this summer. How do you think your mom will like the fact that you lied to her and used me in order to spend the night with my brother?" Rachel warned Haley.

Haley broke away from Nathan and took a step towards Rachel. "First of all, that's not true, Rachel and you know it—"

"Oh no? Did you, or did you not, spend the night in the same bed with my brother in a hotel room?" Rachel said coyly.

"I swear to God, Rachel," Haley stopped talking as she felt Nathan's arms wrapping around her which prevented her from getting closer to Rachel like she wanted.

"That's nice. Nathan's still protecting you like always. Well, I have to get going. By the way, I saw your parents in the stands and your mom made me promise to come by to help out with Thanksgiving baking! See you then!" Rachel smiled broadly before turning on her heels.

"Let me go!" Haley said as she twisted in Nathan's arms.

"Calm down," Nathan whispered into her ear as he squeezed her tighter. "Take a deep breath."

Haley complied, closing her eyes and breathing in. When she felt, Nathan's grip on her loosen she exhaled. Nathan began rubbing her arms, relaxing her further.

"How can you be so calm?" she whined.

Nathan shrugged, as he really wasn't sure himself how he had been able to hold it together. He wasn't as angry at the world anymore that much was sure of. Once he'd been able to clearly identify the main source of his anger, namely his father, and then faced it head on instead of running away from it, he felt a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He knew he'd always have his temper, and that was one thing, but at least the deep-seeded fury that had been inside him was beginning to dissipate. Plus being with Haley, and not having to hide how he felt about her, was making it even easier to let go of the past and look forward to the future.

These things made Nathan realize that it was his instincts that had just kicked in; protecting and defending Haley was one of the most natural things in the world to him. It had always been that way. He began to relax knowing he could trust himself and let his feelings guide his actions. He then became confident that everything would work out. Haley had just kissed him after all, and he took that as a sign that he was doing the right things with her and that was really at that mattered.

"There's nothing she can do to us now, Haley," Nathan assured her.

"Nothing? She's going to tell my mom!"

"We'll think of something. We can beat her at her own game if we stick together. It'll be okay, I promise."

Haley turned around and faced him and let his confidence settle her nerves. In all the years she knew him, he always seemed to know just what to do. She leaned in, letting him hug her, the way he always did, in way that made her feel safe.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "You Get Me" (Michelle Branch)

AN: Thank you for reading! I also really appreciate the reviews! They are so supportive and truly motivating! One side note, this story is going to be a bit longer than I originally planned. Hope that's okay! I assure you that as I am writing, I am extending the happy Naleyness and not the angst. Hope that helps!


	25. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 24: "You Get Me" (Michelle Branch)

"But, Mom!" Haley whined.

"Haley Bob! Don't you take that tone with me!" Lydia scolded her daughter.

"Then, I won't be there!" Haley said indignantly.

"Oh yes, you will! Where is this coming from? Why don't you want Rachel to come over?"

"We're not friends anymore, Mom. In fact, she's done some really mean things to me."

"Just like you weren't friends with Nathan for a while, right? Look how long that lasted," Lydia said sarcastically. "You'll work this out, just like you always do."

"It's different this time, Mom, I swear!"

"End of discussion," Lydia said sternly. "Rachel's coming over on Wednesday to help with the baking. It's a tradition and I won't let your teenage hormones get in the way of that!"

Realizing that her mother was even more stubborn than her, Haley left the kitchen and headed up to her bedroom. In need of privacy, she shut the door and dialed Nathan's number.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Nathan answered.

"Not good. She won't budge. What am I going to do?" Haley asked desperately.

"Beat Rachel to the punch. Tell her everything, and then Rachel has nothing over us. I'll come by and do it with you, if you want."

Once again, Haley couldn't believe how he seemed to have all the answers to her problems so easily.

"Okay. I can do it myself though. I'll call you back."

Haley went back down stairs and found her mother in the den.

"Can I talk to you, Mom?" Haley asked nervously.

"Sit down," Lydia said patting the spot next to her on the couch.

"I'm sorry," Haley said softly.

"That's a good place to begin. Now will you _really_ tell me what's going on?"

"Rachel told me that she was going to tell you all this stuff. And she lies, Mom, but some of it…some of it may be true…and I don't think you're going to be happy about it," Haley admitted.

"Like what?" Lydia asked concerned.

"Well, the worst thing is that when I stayed with Scotts this summer, Nathan and I ended up spending the night together in a hotel room." Once the words were out of her mouth, Haley quickly began to babble in an attempt to explain herself. "It's not what it sounds like though! Nothing happened! It was all Rachel's fault. The air conditioning broke and it was so hot and humid! You remember that? Oh wait, you weren't here. Well, trust me it was gross—"

"Slow down, Haley. Take a breath."

Haley examined her mother's face and not seeing any indication of anger, she began to relax. She took a deep breath and began to explain everything slowly.

"Mrs. Scott rented us three rooms because the a.c. in the beach house broke. Rachel and I were supposed to be together, but she got mad that Nathan and I were going to watch a movie and she locked me out of the room."

"I see," Lydia said slowly. "Where was Deb?"

"That was went she was kind of out of it. She went to bed and we didn't want to bother her."

"You didn't want to bother her?" Lydia asked suspiciously eyeing her daughter.

"Well, okay, I didn't exactly mind being stuck with Nathan, but all we did was sleep, I swear! I wouldn't even let him kiss me!"

"So he tried to kiss you?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Haley said shaking her head. "I meant that I told him right away that I was just going to sleep there and not to kiss me," she clarified.

"Did he?" Lydia asked skeptically.

"No. He's not like that with me, Mom." Haley then mumbled, "Trust me, he's all about going slow."

"That's good, Haley. I know we've talked about this before, but I don't want you making the same mistakes your sister has made."

"If I have to hear that one more time…" Haley rolled her eyes.

"I know it's not fair, Haley Bob," Lydia said reaching over and stroking Haley's hair. "There's just something so intense about you and Nathan. I can't explain it, but both your father and I see it. It's as if…I don't know…but it kind of scares us in a way. You two have your whole lives ahead of each other and we just don't want to see you get so wrapped up in each other that you let everything else life has to offer pass you by."

Haley didn't quite understand what her mother was trying to say to her and she really wasn't interested in taking the time to figure it out. All she really cared about was that her mother wasn't mad and that she was still able to see Nathan.

"We won't, Mom. We just officially started dating anyway. So is everything okay with us?" she asked anxiously.

"I'm not happy that you didn't tell me this sooner. You really should have called us when you realized that Deb wasn't in her right mind. You know that your father and I would have come home or sent you to stay with Karen and Keith. I'm guessing that was the problem though. You didn't want to leave them?"

"No," Haley said guiltily.

"The only thing I still don't understand is how Rachel is all caught up in this. Does she feel left out?"

"I guess so and she thinks I was using her to get to Nathan."

"I can see why she'd think that," Lydia said, shocking Haley.

"What?"

"Haley, look at it from her point of view. You and her brother have this thing, okay so maybe it wasn't official then, but it was something, and you conveniently stay with her with her family even though it wasn't a good time for them, and now that you are with him, you're not friends with her."

"I know it sounds that way, Mom, but she doesn't want Nathan and me together."

"Would you want Rachel dating one of your brothers? Or Taylor dating one of your friends?"

"That doesn't even make sense, Mom! Besides what am I supposed to do? Not be with Nathan because of her?"

"No, you just need to see where she's coming from and why she's angry."

"She doesn't want anything to do with me," Haley said flatly.

"Then why did she ask to come over? She asked me, Haley."

"To get back at me," Haley said disgusted.

"I don't believe that," Lydia said shaking her head. "But I guess we'll see, won't we?"

"I guess so." Haley said leaning her head on Lydia's shoulder. "Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad. A little disappointed. Don't keep any more secrets from me, huh? And keep it slow. If things start to pick up I want you to come to me and—"

Haley abruptly got up from the couch. "I know, Mom! You've drilled the sex stuff in my head!" Before exiting the room, she turned to her mother and quietly asked, "Do you believe me, Mom?"

"Of course I do. You've never given me any reason to doubt you. I just want to be sure that when the time comes—"

Haley left the den, hearing her mother as she went down the hall repeat the same mantra she'd heard for the past six months. She then realized that she was going to have to use a good deal of self-control when she saw Taylor for Thanksgiving. Sure, she felt bad for her sister, considering what she'd been through recently, but Haley also couldn't help but resent her for her parent's newfound interest in her developing love life.

* * *

"Mom, can I run over to Nathan's so he can look at my lit paper?"

Lydia laughed. "You want Nathan to help you with school? You think I was born yesterday?"

"I'm serious! He had Mrs. Burns last year and she made a point to tell him that he understood the major themes of _Julius Caesar_."

"She did?" Lydia asked surprised.

"I was just as surprised as you. The thing is, I looked at Lucas' paper and now I'm worried. I think I may have messed everything up."

"It's 8:00 p.m., Haley. I don't know…"

"Please, Mom? I won't be long."

"Is Deb home?"

"I don't know! I didn't ask. Mom, do you not trust me? You can look at the paper for yourself and call Nathan. He'll tell you all about how Mrs. Burns—"

"Okay, go, but just for an hour. You want a ride?"

"No, it'll be quicker to run over," Haley said noticing that her mom was in the midst of ironing.

"Be careful!"

Haley was out of breath by the time she reached the Scott's house. She saw Nathan's car in the driveway, but noticed Deb's was missing. She knew Nathan had just arrived home from working out at the high school as he was trying to get in shape for basketball season. As instructed from their earlier conversation, Haley let herself in and headed up to his bedroom. Along the way, she heard the shower was running and wasn't surprised when she found his room empty with the computer set up for her. She set herself up and pulled up an electronic copy of her paper and began rereading it for what felt like the hundredth time. As usual, she immediately found things she wasn't happy with and wanted to change. She began deleting and typing furiously, so immersed in her work she didn't notice when Nathan came in and crept up behind her.

"I thought you already wrote the paper."

"I did, I'm just not happy with it," Haley said taking a quick glance behind her. Once she turned back to the computer screen her mind drew a blank as she realized what she had just seen. She stayed very still and closed her eyes when she felt Nathan lean over her shoulder, his bare skin brushing up against her, as he scanned it over her work.

"I honestly don't know if I'm going to be able to help you, Hales. From what I see, it looks pretty good."

That's not all that looks pretty good, Haley thought to herself. When he took a step back and began opening some of the drawers to his dresser, Haley turned around and took in the sight of him. His hair was dripping wet and the only thing he had covering him was a towel loosely wrapped around him, held together by his free hand. The towel kept falling down as Nathan fumbled through his drawers, not finding what he was looking for.

Haley could not get over how he looked. It had been a while since she'd seen him with his shirt off and his appearance had changed—and it was definitely for the better! His shoulders were broader, his biceps were bulging and he now had a well-defined six pack. She quickly began to image having his strong arms wrapped tightly around her, his chest pressed up against her body—

Haley's thoughts were interrupted Nathan turned around caught her gawking at him, causing her to blush profusely.

"Hey, want to hand me those sweatpants right there? I know I'm a complete slob…" Nathan pointed to the pants the laid to the left of his desk, within her reach. Haley picked up the pants and threw them at him.

Nathan flashed her a smirk, making her even redder. "Unless you want me to stay like this?"

Haley turned back to the computer and tried to refocus. "Get over yourself. Go put some clothes on."

"Suit yourself. I'll be right back."

As soon as he left, Haley finished the paragraph she was working on and left the desk. She wanted him to be able to sit at the desk and look over her work without her there. She looked around his desk and picked up a book, one that she knew he had to read for school, and plopped herself on his bed.

Haley purposely tried not to look at Nathan when he made his grand reentrance. He stood at the doorway proudly, wearing his sweatpants, but still no shirt. "How's this for you, Hales? I'm still half-naked." Haley simply rolled her eyes at him. "Where do you want me?"

"At the computer!" she shot back, keeping her attention on the book.

"You're no fun," he said taking a seat at the computer.

Before he began reading her work, Nathan turned around and became amused at the sight of her lying so comfortably on his bed, dressed casually her jeans and hooded sweatshirt. She was reading some book he'd just been assigned for his english class, one that he honestly had no intention of reading. In fact, his goal tonight had been to try and find out if there were some Spark Notes online.

Haley couldn't be more different in that respect. She was so serious about school, in fact probably just as serious about it, as he was about basketball. He didn't quite understand this, but he didn't really need to. What was important to Haley was becoming important to him, and just as she had always supported him at his games, he wanted to support her. Still, he was incredibly tempted to crawl up on the bed and join her, especially after the way she'd been looking at him earlier. Sensing his own distraction, Nathan reluctantly turned back to the computer and tried to refocus.

This didn't go so well, as mental image of Haley, _lying on his bed_, _a few feet away_, kept popping up. He quickly began to think of ways he could make his way over to that bed.

"Do you want to look at my paper from last year?" Nathan casually asked Haley, as he pretended to continue to look at the computer.

"That might help. I looked at Lucas' and it's really good. The only thing is that I don't want to take anyone else's ideas."

"Of course you don't," Nathan laughed as he turned to face her. The serious expression she wore just continued to spark his interest in going over there.

"Why is that so funny?"

"Because you're 'Miss Independent.' Like you'd ever take an idea from someone else, especially when it comes to school."

"Shut up! I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but I'm pretty convinced it was just to get a glimpse of me coming out the shower."

Haley picked up one of his pillows and threw it at him.

Nathan watched, even more amused, as the pillow didn't make it anywhere near him. He then turned back to the computer and a minute later his printer started. When it was finished, Nathan grabbed the paper and brought it over to Haley.

"This is what I did last year. Read it over, while I read yours."

"Deal," Haley said trying to take the paper from him. She tugged the paper again, but Nathan continued to hold onto it, as he smirked at her. "Nathan!"

"I'm really helping you out here. I think I need some type of motivation to get me going."

"I'm not stupid, Nathan. If we start that, you'll never get to my paper. I have to be home at nine." Haley then felt her resolve begin to wither as she looked into his eyes. "But if you get to work now, then _maybe_ we'll have some free to spare," she coyly offered.

Nathan dropped the paper on her lap and went back to the computer with newfound motivation. For the next ten minutes, they read over each other's work in silence.

"Nathan! These papers are way too similar!" Haley yelled in frustration as she finished her reading.

"We did kind of write the same thing, huh? Except your writing skills and vocabulary are…advanced."

"It doesn't matter. We could pick _any theme_ in the play and write about it and I picked the same one as you!" Haley threw the papers down and began pacing his room.

"In my defense, in my low level class I guess we couldn't handle that option," he explained in mocking tone, "so we were _told_ to write about the difference between the private and public self."

"That makes it worse! She's going to think I copied from you! I have to rewrite the whole thing!"

"You think Mrs. Burns is going to think _you copied from me_?" Nathan said following her now frantic movements as she continued to pace.

"Yes! She specifically complimented you on this paper and she knows we're together." Haley paused thinking about this some more. "You know, this is _all_ _your fault_! If you didn't come in every morning to that class before school—"

"Calm down, Haley. This isn't the big deal you think it is. Mrs. Burns probably reads hundreds of papers a year on this. You don't think she reads the same stuff over and over again?"

"I don't care! I need to think of something else. Help me, will you?"

"Write about fate verses free will."

"Lucas already did that."

"See I told you, Haley! You can't expect to write something that is different from everyone else."

"I never should have asked you for help," Haley spat out, ignoring his comment. "I have to go."

"We still have fifteen minutes!" Nathan said pointing to his alarm clock.

"I have to rewrite my paper now! Who knows what time I'll get to bed now?"

Nathan ran over and blocked his doorway in attempt to prevent her imminent exit.

"Move," Haley fumed as she reached the doorway.

Nathan moved his hands to her arms and begged, "Ten minutes? I'll calm you down, I swear."

"Nathan," she whined as her heart rate picked up.

"Five minutes? Please? I just want five minutes to make out with my girlfriend." Nathan looked at her trying to sway her with his eyes. "I know you want to…" he added pulling her closer.

A small smile slowly escaped Haley's lips. "Girlfriend? I like it when you call me that…"

Nathan grinned, relishing the fact that he was winning her over, even it wasn't in the way he'd intended. "Don't you want to make out with _your boyfriend_? I know you do. I can see it your eyes and the way you've been looking at me…" he said huskily.

"It's just…you look so different from the last time I saw you like this," Haley said trying to explain herself.

"Well, I bulked up a lot at High Flyers and then even more with football…I really don't want to talk right now though..."

Nathan took Haley by her hand and led her to his bed.

"Five minutes," Haley agreed as she climbed on to his bed, excited and nervous at the same time. They'd never had an official make out session before as a couple and she didn't know what to expect.

Nathan joined her on the bed, lying on his side and opened his arms and Haley slipped inside them. As Nathan's lips met hers, he struggled to keep the tempo long and slow but Haley wasn't making it easy as she forcefully kissed him, as she let all her angst out.

"This is supposed to be relaxing, Haley," Nathan reminded her as he pulled back slightly.

"I'm not relaxed," Haley leaned back towards him. Right now, she didn't want to relax either, as her desire for him continued to grow with each touch and kiss.

When she began to move her hands up and down his back, Nathan relented and began kissing her with equal enthusiasm. His hand moved to her back where he slipped them under her sweatshirt and pulled her lower half against him. Haley immediately began to feel a rush go through her body. His body felt so warm to her and she craved to be as close as possible to him. Haley swung one of her legs over his hip, and as she did, for the first time came into direct contact with his hardness.

Nathan immediately stopped kissing her and closed his eyes, taking in her touch as she pressed up against him. He moved one of his hands down to her ass, causing Haley push up against him. "Haley," Nathan moaned as she began to grind against him.

Haley suddenly began to panic as new feelings surged through her body. At the same time, her body seemed to have a mind of its own as it began to move involuntarily against his. A wave of panic suddenly hit her as she realized she didn't know what she was doing. She could only imagine how she must look to him.

"I gotta go!" Haley said breaking away and moving off the bed. Nathan was left speechless as Haley headed for the door. Unable to move, he stayed on his bed as Haley fled his bedroom. A few seconds later, he heard his front door slam shut. He looked over at his clock, which read 8:50 p.m.

"We could have had at least five more minutes," he muttered to himself.

* * *

"Hello?" Nathan answered his phone half asleep.

"Nathan!" Haley whispered. "I finished my paper. I'm going to email it to you. Can you look it over?"

"What?" Nathan asked, unable to process her words in his barely waken state.

"Can you please read my paper?"

"What time is it?"

"Um…2 a.m."

"Are you kidding me? I only fell asleep two hours ago!" Nathan protested.

"Well, you're awake now, right?"

"Fine. I'll call you back, but you owe me big."

"No, wait! You can't call me back. My parents will wake up. Stay on the phone with me."

"You're a pain in the ass," Nathan said through a stifled yawn.

"Thank you," Haley said sincerely.

Nathan sat down at his desk and started up his computer. "So I guess you're not mad at me then?"

"Mad?" Haley asked confused.

"You ran of here like a bat out of hell, Hales."

"Oh, that. I think I just got a little embarrassed," she admitted.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Haley. Things just got a little," Nathan paused trying to think of an acceptable word for what happened earlier, "_intense_."

"I wasn't uncomfortable. I was just…confused, I guess? I don't know what I was feeling and it kind of took me by surprise."

"Trust me; what you were feeling was completely normal." Nathan paused as he pulled up her email. "Okay, I got your paper. So you went with the women theme, huh? Figures…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Give me a minute," Nathan said trying to focus on the paper. "It's really good, Hales," he said when he was finished.

"It makes sense?" Haley asked needing assurance.

"Yeah. I never would have thought of that! You really think if they just listened to their wives, it would have changed things?"

"Yes," Haley said confidently. "Did you see how I pulled in both the themes of fate and free will and public and private self?"

"Haley, I'm not really awake here. You're talking way over my head!"

"Sorry. How about typos? I'm so tired, I'm sure there are plenty."

"I did find a couple. Look, let me go through it one more time and I'll email you back, okay? I can't do this over the phone."

"Okay…Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"It's okay…I'm sorry about earlier."

"You don't have to be sorry. I feel stupid for running out like that."

"Don't," he said certainly. Trying to make her feel better, he added, "You know I was dreaming about you when you called?"

"Really?" Haley asked, happy he couldn't see her fidgeting.

"Yeah. When I heard your voice I thought it was some type of lucid dream. Anyway, you definitely left quite the impression on me…"

"That's good, right?"

"Oh yeah," Nathan said quickly. "Okay, I'm going get going so I can get back to dreaming about you. Are you good with that?"

"Sweet dreams, then!" Haley said sweetly.

"You too, Hales."

Haley hung up her phone and got ready for bed. She waited for Nathan's email back and when she received it, she went back and made some edits. As she went to close out his email, she noticed that he had written her a brief message.

_You owe me. Maybe ten minutes next time? BTW- Have some good dreams yourself!_

Haley shut down the computer and got into bed. She set her alarm clock a half hour earlier than usual so she could have time to proofread it one more time. As she closed her eyes, she couldn't help but imagine what kinds of dreams he was having about her and what kinds of dreams he wanted her to have. As her heart began to race, she looked at clock and began to worry she might not be able to get to asleep at all that night. Both Taylor's impending arrival and baking with Rachel were reasons enough to keep her awake. However, each time she closed her eyes, it was Nathan she saw. Standing there, his hair dripping wet, his broad shoulders and chiseled abs, that damn towel hanging loosely around his waist…

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Heaven" (The Fire Theft)

AN: Thank you so much to my regular reviewers: maracasgirl, kaefoster, and ilovecujo1993. It means so much!

I also wanted to remind you that I am first-time writer and wanted to let you know that I am not confident writing smut! If you read for smut, I will probably disappoint you! Sorry! I will do my best, but that is not what this story is about. So it is probably best to have low expectations. Please keep reading anyway!

Also, I incorrectly stated the preview for this chapter- sorry! I did go back and change it. I'm not convinced anyone pays attention to that anyway, but I did want to let you know. "Heaven" a classic Naley song, is Chapter 25 which is centered on Thanksgiving.


	26. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 25: "Heaven" (The Fire Theft)

"Will Rachel be here?" Taylor asked as they got out of the car.

"No, she's with her father for Thanksgiving. Did you even know the Scotts were divorcing?" Haley asked seriously.

"No, that's not the kind of stuff Rachel and were talking about," Taylor said coyly.

"What were you talking about, then?" Haley shot back, referring to how the two girls had quietly chatted up a storm while baking yesterday. Taylor hadn't baked with them in a long time, not since they were kids and didn't have a choice in the matter, but this year she had conveniently become interested in a part of the tradition again. Haley knew her sister all too well, and could only assume this was because she had picked up on the rift between her and Rachel. Taylor had always been kind of jealous of Rachel, although Haley wasn't sure why. Now, though, she was jumping at the chance to be friendly with her!

Interestingly enough, Rachel had been on her best behavior while baking and hadn't mentioned a word about the summer or Haley and Nathan. The more Haley thought about this, the more it annoyed her. She felt like this is exactly what Rachel had planned all along. In the end, Lydia and Jimmy had still found out about what went on during the summer, but from Haley instead of Rachel, allowing Rachel to continue to look as sweet as ever. Lydia hadn't said it, but Haley couldn't help but feel like every time her mother looked at her, she was silently saying "I told you so!" When Haley and Nathan discussed it that evening, they both agreed they had been outsmarted by Rachel.

Haley was happy that Nathan was spending the holiday with his mother, even though she knew Deb was upset that she wouldn't be around both her children. To help fill the void, Coop and Jules had joined them for dinner, with plans to head to Karen's Café for dessert. It was closed to the public but open exclusively for their gathering which was to include Royal and Mae as well. The only exceptions were Rachel and Dan, who apparently had other plans.

Taylor ignored Haley's question as she took the pies her mother handed her and headed towards café. They had an unusually small Thanksgiving dinner themselves, with only Lydia, Jimmy, Taylor and Haley. Everyone in her family had agreed to this, as the plan was for the entire James clan to head to Florida for Christmas where Haley's eldest sibling, Zach, and his wife, had offered to host the holidays at their home. That holiday would be quite a change from this one, as Haley felt uncomfortable having a holiday dinner with just four people. It was much too quiet for her taste as she had grown used to all the chaos and clattering of a full house around the holidays. She smiled to herself, as she felt grateful to have the chance to barge in the Scott's celebration, at Karen's insistence. This would be more her style and she would get to see Nathan!

As Taylor reached the door to the café, with Haley at her heels also carrying several desserts they'd baked the previous day, she let the door slam shut in Haley's face.

"Did you see that, Dad?" Haley said stomping her foot. Her hands were full and there was no possible way she could open the door on her own.

"She didn't do it on purpose, Haley," Jimmy said opening the door for her. Haley shot him a look of disbelief. "Okay, maybe she did. Give her a break, though. She's been through a lot lately."

Haley knew that her father was right, but she still didn't change the fact that Taylor had been unbearable and downright nasty towards her ever since she'd come home, making it nearly impossible for Haley to be sympathetic towards her. No matter what anyone said, Taylor seemed determined to push everyone away, including her own mother, just as she had a month ago.

Back then, they had driven all around South Carolina, where Taylor was living, trying to find her after receiving a cryptic message on their answering machine from a guy, who wouldn't identify himself, claiming Taylor needed their help but was afraid to call herself. They had assumed she was at her college dorm, but once there, were surprised to find out that she had been kicked out of school a semester ago. After speaking to some former classmates, they were led on a wild goose chase, when they drove all around the state trying to find her, stopping at places like "The Swinging Donkey," and various other bars that Taylor held jobs at. To their dismay, they finally tracked her down at a local hospital, only to learn that she had been admitted after suffering a miscarriage. Lydia was particularly devastated, as Taylor hadn't even shared news of her pregnancy with her.

Lydia convinced Jimmy and Haley to head back to Tree Hill, hoping she could help her daughter if things were a bit more private. When Lydia returned a few days later without Taylor, Haley knew it didn't go as planned. Haley had overheard her parents talking and apparently the father of Taylor's child had been one of her professors at college who happened to be married. Taylor was in love with this man, and remained convinced that he was going to leave his wife for her. Haley wasn't sure, but she got the idea that perhaps the pregnancy may have been intentional on Taylor's part, as Lydia suggested Taylor was extremely devastated by her loss. No matter how hard she tried, Lydia had been unable to convince her daughter to move on and forget this guy. In the end, Taylor refused to leave the area, and had only reluctantly promised to return home for Thanksgiving.

"Oh boy! Everyone's already here! I'm so sorry we're late with the desserts!" Lydia apologized to Karen as she entered the café.

"Don't worry about it!" Karen assured her. "Nathan and Lily have been quite source of entertainment!" she said garnering a set of laughs.

"Hey, I can help it if she loves me," Nathan said defensively. "Tell them," he cooed to the baby he held in his arms that gurgled in response setting off another round of laughs.

"Five minutes, Nathan," Lydia warned him with a point of her finger. "Then, you're handing her over to me!"

* * *

Haley couldn't explain it, but ever since their brief, but intense, make out session a few nights earlier, she found herself craving Nathan's touch. What wasn't helping matters this evening was how his body filled out the black collared shirt he was wearing. Even now, in front of all their family, she couldn't get enough of him. She knew she was being clingy, but Nathan didn't seem to mind, as he always welcomed her cozying up to him. At the moment, they were standing against a wall in the corner of the café, with Nathan behind Haley. Haley was leaning up against him so her back rested on his chest, but even that didn't seem to satisfy her. She then, took one of his hands and wrapped it around her waist. Nathan gave her a quick kiss on her neck in response, his way of letting her know he enjoyed being so close to her as well. This slight gesture, made Haley even more on edge, as it sent tingles throughout her entire body.

"I heard you two finally made it official. Aren't you just the picture-perfect happy couple now?" Taylor said as she popped up beside them. Of course, they were in such a spot that no one had been able to hear her dig.

Nathan pulled Haley closer to him as Taylor moved closer.

"What are you afraid she's going to slip though your hands, Nate? Why don't you get a leash? I bet you'd like that too, Haley. Being tied to Nathan and all?" Taylor said her words dripping with heavy sarcasm.

"You know what, Taylor? I've had just about enough of your shit. There's no reason for you talk to Haley like that—" Nathan began.

"Careful, Nathan," Taylor said carefully eyeing him.

Undaunted, Nathan held her gaze. Taylor clearly had no idea that Haley knew about their encounter years earlier in which she had tried to seduce him. "Or what? Haley and I don't have any secrets, Taylor." Taylor looked at surprised at his insinuation. "That's right. How does that make you look right now, Taylor? Let me tell you; like someone that's jealous and bitter because she was shot down by a drunken freshman boy who must have had no interest in her. What age group are you after these days? I hear the middle school—"

"Shut up, Nathan! You think I'm jealous? Well, let me tell you that I'm not. Really, Haley? Already tied down at the age of sixteen? He'll be controlling you the rest of your life. Get away now, while you can," Taylor spewed.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, Taylor. Nathan's right. You're just jealous and bitter," she said as she felt Nathan move his other free hand around her waist.

"We'll see about that. I'll give it a year before he knocks you up."

"Ha! You're one to talk! Why don't you take a long look in the mirror!" Haley blurted out. When she saw the look on Taylor's face, guilt began to sweep through body. Tears sprung to Taylor's eyes as she stared at Haley. She then walked away slowly, with her head down, toward the bathroom.

"Did I miss something?" Nathan whispered into Haley's ear.

"I shouldn't have said that," Haley said with a small voice.

"It'll blow over. It always does, doesn't it?" Nathan said trying to comfort her as he shifted his hands to her shoulders and began to squeeze them.

"It's different this time," Haley said miserably.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Haley couldn't help but ask Nathan. A minute ago they'd been sitting and eating pie with Coop and Jules, until Deb called both of them over to talk about their wedding plans with Karen. Now, with Nathan leaving, Haley realized she would be sitting all by herself if he left.

"To the bathroom," Nathan said laughing. "Relax. I'll be right back and we'll take a walk, okay?"

"Sure," Haley said embarrassed. She silently chastised herself for being _that girl_; the kind of girl who couldn't let her guy out of her sight long enough to go the bathroom. God, what was happening to her? She really needed to get a grip on things and it needed to happen fast.

By the time she cleared their plates from the table, Nathan had returned. As promised, he took her hand and led her outside.

"Should we tell my parents?" Haley asked looking back inside.

"Already did. Let's just sit over on that bench," Nathan said pointing down a little way and across the street.

When they reached the bench, they both sat down, with Nathan's arm wrapped around Haley's shoulders. Haley twisted a little, as if trying to get comfortable.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" Nathan asked softly.

Haley wasn't sure where to begin. She was still a little embarrassed about being so needy and decided it would probably be best to start with letting him in on what had happened to Taylor.

"Taylor had a miscarriage recently, so she's a little more bitchy than usual."

"Wow, I had no idea. When did that happen?"

"Around the time of homecoming; that's why my dad wasn't at your game," she reminded him. "Anyway, she's clearly torn up about it and I've tried to be understanding but she just knows how to push all my buttons! Now, I know I've hurt her and I feel horrible," Haley lamented.

"Just talk to her, Hales. Tell her you're sorry."

"I'm not sure that will be enough," Haley said unconvinced.

"You have to start somewhere. Might as well be there," Nathan paused as he began to stroke her hair. "The thing is, you were off even before that blow up with Taylor. Is there something else going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Not that I mind, but you've been a little—"

"Clingy? Needy? Yeah, I know. Sorry about that," Haley said apologetically.

"Hey, I get it! You've had reason to be jealous tonight; first Lily, then Taylor. Guess I'm pretty irresistible tonight," Nathan said smugly, making her laugh. "Seriously, you know how crazy I am about you, right?" He asked as he began nuzzling her neck.

"That's the thing, Nathan. Is it normal to feel like this?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper as she reveled in his touch. Haley turned her head towards his and began to feel that now familiar fluttering feeling throughout her body.

"I don't know, but I don't care either. It just feels so good, Hales," he whispered back. Their lips met in a series of soft kisses that went on for several minutes until they were distracted by a set of headlights from down the street.

They both looked up to see a black Range Rover stopped in front of the café.

"Is that…" Nathan began but trailed off as he stood up to get a closer view. The car then began to head towards them, picked up speed as it passed them and then peeled off around the next corner.

"Son of bitch! What the hell was he doing here?" Nathan shouted in the direction of the car.

"Was that your dad?" Haley asked standing beside him.

"He was supposed to be taking Rachel to some five-star restaurant in Raleigh!"

"You're sure it was him?"

"I'm sure," Nathan said running his hand through his hair.

"Have you talked to him?"

"No, but basketball season is coming up so I wouldn't be surprised if he starts coming back around."

"Basketball season," Haley sighed, thinking of things were about to become complicated again. As Nathan turned to face her, Haley buried herself in his chest.

Nathan appeared to read her mind. "Things aren't going to change, Hales," he said, as he lightly rubbed her back.

"I hope not," Haley said looking up at him with wide eyes. "I was just getting used to this."

"This is just the start for us, I promise. I'm not going to screw it up."

"It's not _you_ I'm worried about. It's all the _other people_."

"You're wrong." Nathan took Haley's hand and walked her down the street, stopping in front of the café. "See all those people in there? They're the people that count. That's my family, Haley; it's yours too."

"It is, huh?" Haley said proudly, she leaned back on him. "Our family."

"Our family," Nathan repeated liking the sound of it. "Even Taylor," he said giving her a squeeze.

"Well if that's the case, what about Rachel?" Haley couldn't help but ask. It was strange that in a way how Rachel, who for the longest time had been the link between them, was now completely out of the picture.

"I don't know, Hales. She's not here, is she? She could have been, too. Your mom invited her and they clearly aren't in Raleigh!"

"Do you think she'll ever come around?" Haley asked miserably.

"I hope she does, but as far as you and I go, it doesn't matter." Haley stiffened as she felt Nathan's mouth brush up against her ear. "There's nothing she can do about it," he whispered before lightly kissing her neck.

"Good," Haley muttered, as she closed her eyes, taking in his scent and touch. His mouth worked its way up and down her neck and when Haley felt like she was about to burst, she spun around. Nathan jumped back, surprised.

"What are you doing on Saturday?" Haley blurted out, startling him.

"I'm running a captain's practice in the morning. That's it, really. Why? What's on your mind?"

"With Damien?" Haley asked, knowing he had been named co-captain, most likely due to his father's influence.

"Yeah. We both want the scouts to come, you know?"

"I guess," Haley said still nervous.

"What do you want to do on Saturday?" Nathan asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Well,..." Haley said smiling brightly. "I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie. At your house?"

"At my house? Why not yours? Or why don't we go—" Nathan stopped talking as he realized her motivation. "I get it. You want to make out with me, huh?" he smirked.

Haley wasn't even going to bother to pretend it wasn't true. "I do owe, you…"

"Stop it, Haley! Don't even try to pretend this is for me. You haven't been able to take your hands off me all night!" Nathan said cockily.

"Fine," Haley said testily, "then we'll just watch the movie at my house. My parents will be around and knowing them, they'll join us. In fact, why don't you talk to my dad about what move to pick out. You two are good at making decisions for me anyway!" Haley began to walk towards the café, but was stopped as Nathan grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him.

"Hey, baby," Nathan said gently, "I was just teasing you. I'm at you're mercy here. You can make all the decisions. I just don't want to pressure you in anyway. You bolted last time and I don't want you to have to do that again. You can just talk to me you know? Tell me if things are going too fast?"

"I know, that Nathan!" Haley, still aggravated, rolled her eyes at him. "I can take care of myself. And in case you haven't noticed, I may get a little embarrassed, but I really want to be around you. Why do you have to keep teasing me?"

"I can't help that. I just love to get you going. I'll tone it down. That sound okay?" Haley nodded in response. "I'm letting you set the pace. You decide what we're doing and when. So you tell me what we're doing Saturday."

"I want to watch a movie with you…and I want to pick up where we left of the other night…I actually had a dream about it," Haley admitted as she looked at her feet.

"Oh really?" Nathan began. Haley looked up at him sharply, and he realized he had inadvertently started to tease her again. "Sorry," he said putting his arms around her waist. "Tell me about your dream."

"I can't now!" Haley protested, looking around, feeling no sense of privacy across the street from the café window. "Maybe on Saturday?"

"I can't wait. My mom has some type of group therapy but you could come by before she leaves. She'd love to see you. How about around one?"

"Sure. I can bring the movie?"

"Yeah. It's not like I'm going to be watching it anyway!" Nathan smirked.

"Nathan!"

"You'll see….Let's head back in, huh?"

"Okay, but just one more…" Haley leaned up, put her arms around her neck and began to kiss him. As soon as Nathan began to kiss her back, Haley pulled away; fully aware she was leaving him wanting more. "There! I'm good until Saturday!" She playfully exclaimed as she head towards the café.

Nathan was hot on her heels but she managed to get inside the café before he fully caught up to her. As soon as they were inside, Karen ushered her over to talk to her. Nathan tried to follow her, but he was cornered by his Uncle Keith and grandfather, who wanted to hear his picks on some football games. He tried to be patient, as they went back and forth analyzing the odds and inside tips, but he was heavily distracted as he watched Haley.

The James weren't the type to dress up for the holidays and so Haley was wearing a simple ribbed v-neck green sweater along with a pair of jeans. Nathan couldn't help but notice what a natural beauty she was as she unconsciously fiddled with strands of her hair as she spoke. She was engrossed in a conversation with Karen and Lucas and he couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. Then, Karen left and Haley gave her full attention to Lucas. Haley was very animated as she spoke, using various hand gestures and went from laughing loudly and then whispering intently. As she did, he couldn't help but smile as he noticed her wearing both the bracelet and ring he had given her for her past two birthdays. He tried to catch her attention a couple of times, but she seemed to be completely unaware of his presence. It was, much to his chagrin, a huge change from earlier.

* * *

"You have a date with Brooke? How did that happen?" Haley asked, turning to Lucas.

"On that note, I think I'll go try to figure out where my daughter is!" Karen said excusing herself from the conversation.

"I asked her. She said yes. That's usually how it goes," Lucas shrugged.

"Don't think you're going to get away with that!" Haley gently tapped him, letting him know that answer wasn't sufficient.

"You know we've been…talking…and she's done with Felix for good, so I figured I'd give it a shot."

"When did you ask her? What did she say?" Haley asked craving more details.

"At the football game. I partially have you to thank for that. You took off with Nathan and then Jake went off with Peyton so it was just us. I wasn't planning on it, but I thought she was kind of hinting at something when she said things were over with Felix."

"Good call. I knew she was coming around when she came to visit Lily!"

"Really? You think that had to do with me?" Lucas asked surprised.

Haley immediately burst into laughter. "Guys are so dense!" Haley said throwing her arms in the air. "Do we, girls, need to spell everything out for you?"

"Yes! You should just say what you want! We go crazy trying to figure it all out!"

"Okay, but then we tell you and you go all crazy and analyze it and try to make sure we really mean it!"

"What did Nathan do now?" Lucas chuckled.

"Nothing, really. I'm just wondering if maybe I'm a little more into him, than he is into me," Haley said as she twirled a piece of her hair.

"Right," Lucas said rolling his eyes. "You've got to be kidding?" He asked when she continued to fidget.

"No."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because…I can breathe when I'm around him and when I'm not around him I want to be….like physically next to him,….and then," Haley lowered her voice, "my heart just goes crazy when we're together."

"That's because _you're in love, Haley_," Lucas said as he nudged her.

"Yeah?" Haley smiled slightly as she considered the thought. "You ever feel like this?"

"I didn't realize it at the time, but yeah, I did with Brooke. I just figured it out too late."

"You think you're still in love with her?"

"I know I am," Lucas said with certainty. "And I know Nathan feels the same way about you."

"You think?" Haley said still unsure.

"_I know_. It's just a little different for guys. We have to keep our emotions in check."

Haley rolled her eyes and remained unconvinced. "Whatever."

"Who else would get up at two a.m. to read your _Julius Caesar_ essay? I still can't believe he helped you with that!"

"Why not? He's not the dumb jock you think he is! He's just lazy. Did I tell you how we both wrote about the same things? Of all the things in that play, we both focused on the same things."

"So you rewrote the paper?"

"Practically! I kept some of the same ideas but focused more on Calpurnia and Portia—"

"I should have known you two dorks would be talking about school." As soon as Nathan slipped his hands around Haley's waist, she forgot what they had been talking about. She looked up at him and he gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.

"Seriously? Haley? You think guys are ones who are dense?" Lucas said as he witnessed the exchanged.

"Huh?" Nathan asked confused.

Haley eyed Lucas carefully as she tried to explain the comment away. "I was telling Lucas how Brooke is totally back into him. They have a date Saturday night. Speaking of Saturday night…" Haley twisted around in his arms and began fiddling with his collar. Nathan took a couple of deep breaths, as some familiar feelings began to stir within him.

"Yeah?" Nathan asked as she watched her get settled in his arms.

"I told Karen we would babysit Lily. Is that okay? I know we have plans during the day, but I thought we could come over after?"

"That's fine. Especially if that means I still get to spend all day with you…"

"I hate to break up this lovefest, but what do you both think of meeting up with Brooke and me later? My mom and dad should be back by the time we finish with dinner."

"What'd you have in mind?" Nathan asked.

"It's 'all ages night' at Tric. I didn't know they did that, but I guess they're trying it out," Lucas explained.

"You really want _us_ there?" Haley asked turning around to face him. "I thought maybe you'd like some alone time with Brooke…" She added, thinking of how she wished Nathan and her were alone at the moment as she clasped hands together.

Lucas cleared his throat. "Sometimes being with you two is like _being alone_. So yeah, I'm not worried about that!" Nathan smiled proudly as Haley began to blush. "Plus, we could use someone to drive us."

"Sounds good, man….Actually, is it, Hales?" Nathan asked checking in with her.

"Yeah." Haley turned back around to face Nathan and put her arms around his neck. "Thanks for asking…"

"You two are ridiculous! I'm going to call Brooke!" Lucas muttered disgusted, as he walked away. Haley and Nathan continued to focus on each other; neither completely aware Lucas had left.

Nathan then thought about how Saturday was two days away. So did that mean he wouldn't see Haley tomorrow? No, he had to see her. He didn't want to go a day without seeing her. Still, she had clearly said, she was all set with him until Saturday. He just couldn't leave this to chance. "What do you have going on tomorrow?" Nathan asked.

"Shopping with my mom, and hopefully Taylor. Black Friday, you know. It's another James tradition. You?"

"Practice in the morning, then probably watching football with my Uncle Coop. Think maybe I'll get to see you?"

Haley smiled widely as she noted they appeared to be the same page. Still, she didn't want him to know just _how much_ she wanted to see him. "Maybe…I have to see how it goes with my family. I'll call you when I get home?" Haley said, trying to play it cool.

"Okay. Maybe we can go get an ice cream or something?" He suggested.

"Sure," Haley said her resolving beginning to weaken. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to make definite plans after all. "I guess I need to take advantage of every opportunity I can before basketball starts!"

"I'll always make time for you, Hales," Nathan said stroking her check.

"Haley? Nathan?" They both looked over at Lydia who was standing by the door, looking outside. "Have you seen Taylor?"

They both shook their heads and Haley began to get nervous as she read the disappointment in her mother's face. There was no doubt in her mind that Taylor had taken off. She could only hope it was only for the night, but she had a sinking feeling that Taylor had left Tree Hill altogether. Sensing her uneasiness, Nathan hugged her tight, letting her know he was there for her. When Haley finally broke away, she thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. She then headed off towards her mother to try and help with the fallout of her words from earlier that evening, as the guilt threatened to consume her.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Love You More" (James William Hindle)

AN: It may seem a little filler in this chapter, but what I was going for is exploring some common phases of new relationships- the clingy/ I want to be with you all the time/think about you all the time and does he/she like me as much as I like him/her phases. I plan to go into each phase of their relationship so don't worry; this is not a permanent thing. This chapter also set up for the next one, and I highly recommend you listen to the song if you want a preview. It is a Leyton song on the show but fits 100% for Naley here and it is so beautiful!

Also to those that may have an opinion, I have a question for you. I have craziness about to hit my life coming up (working all this weekend, coaching Special Olympics all next weekend-wish me luck, godson visiting and staying with me!) so I was wondering if you would prefer that I stop posting for while and then resume with a steady stream of posts or just post more regularly, but just less often? I promise, promise I will finish this story no matter what! I just finished 35 now, and I refuse to post anything less than ten chapters ahead of where I am. It is just the editing process that is dragging me down as I go back and change little things. As for the sequel, I am going to write it because I love writing and I want to get it out of my head, but I'm not sure if there is enough interest to post. I will gauge that once this one is about to wrap up.

Thank you to those that reviewed. It always gives my spirits a much needed boost. A couple of **SPOILER ALERTS** to address points from those reviews. Lydia is completely being naïve thinking her daughter will come to her to talk about sex. Haley never once seriously considers that and that leads to problems! Also, there will be one more big flashback before the prologue and maybe one more (perhaps surprising!) from Dan's point of view after. Also, you will learn more about Taylor in the next chapter and I do go deeper into the James' family dynamic in general. I feel like there was a lot of Nathan and his screw ups/faults in the first part so now it's Haley's turn!

Thank you for reading and I'd love to hear what you're thinking!


	27. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 26: "Love You More" (James William Hindle)

"What are you wearing?" Nathan asked mockingly as Haley walked out her front door to meet Nathan in her driveway.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Haley asked indignantly even though she knew he had to be referring to her olive green hand-knitted hat.

"Nothing, if you want to look like a dork. But I guess you are a dork, so that's cool."

"Look who's talking 'boy toy," Haley playfully teased back. "Did you really have to spray paint across your chest?"

"You know you liked it." Nathan opened his arms towards her. "Come here, baby."

"You've got to be kidding. I really don't want to go for ice cream that bad." Haley turned around to walk back in the house.

"Come on, Hales," Nathan said as he became nervous that their teasing had become serious. "You know I love you, even if you dress like a dork."

Haley stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. "What did you say?"

Nathan looked at her, confused. "That you're a dork, but I love you anyway?"

"You never said that before," Haley said softly.

Nathan continued to look at Haley like she was crazy. "Haley, I must have called you a dork a million times. You know I'm just teasing you. I'm sorry, though. Can we just go?"

"Sorry. Yeah, let's go." Haley headed towards the passenger's door of Nathan's car.

As Nathan tried to get ahead of Haley so he could open the door for her, he suddenly realized he had misinterpreted Haley. He slid in between Haley and the door, blocking her entrance.

"What did you mean, Haley?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. I feel stupid. Can we just go?" Haley muttered, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Look at me, Haley." Nathan lifted her chin so she was looking at him and then he took her hands in his. "Was it that I love you? Is that what you meant?"

Haley began to bite her lip nervously. She really didn't want to lie to him, but she was feeling incredibly awkward. Instead of answering him, she just looked down toward her feet as she shifted uncomfortably.

"I swear I have said that you to you before, Haley."

"Yeah, you probably have. Sorry. I didn't mean to make such a big deal about it."

Nathan lifted her chin towards his again. He looked directly into her eyes as he spoke. "No, Haley. You don't get it. I don't love you, like I love my new sneakers. I love you, like; _I'm_ _in love with you_." Haley felt her heart melting at his words. Nathan paused and added, "How could you not know how I feel about you?"

"Because you never really told me; not like that, anyway." Haley tried to keep her emotions in check as she could feel her eyes beginning to water.

"You're such a girl!" Nathan rolled his eyes and Haley was able to get herself in check as he laughed at her.

"Oh, yeah? Well, who's the one who made me wait over month for our first kiss? You had to find _just the right spot_." Haley said mockingly. "Had to wait until we were in Utah, rent snowmobile, take me to a secluded place. Oh, and it had to be_ at sunset_. Don't forget that!"

Nathan pretended to looked offended. "I was trying to be romantic. Don't worry though; I won't make that mistake again."

Haley laughed. "But that is one of the things I LOVE ABOUT YOU, Nathan! You're such a romantic," Haley swooned as she bobbed up and down on her toes.

Nathan put his hands on her shoulders stilling her. "Calm down or I'll take it back."

"You can't," Haley said with a mischievous grin and a twinkle in her eye.

Nathan could feel the tension building between them as she moved closer to him. He instinctively put his arms around her waist. "Oh, yeah?"

"You can't resist me..." Haley whispered as she stood on the tip of her toes to give him a slow, deep kiss.

Nathan pulled back with a smile on his face. "You're right. You win. I am totally whipped, huh?"

"Yes, you are! Now take me to get some ice cream!" Haley ordered as she stepped back. Nathan opened the door and made a grand gesture for her to get in. Just before he closed the door, he leaned in. Expecting a kiss, Haley closed her eyes, but Nathan grabbed her hat instead.

"I have an image to maintain, Haley. I can't be seen with a dork."

Haley leaned over and hit him as he soon got in the car. They both laughed as Nathan threw her hat in his back seat. After he pulled out of the driveway he grabbed her hand, holding it as they drove away.

* * *

As soon as Nathan exited the car, Haley fished in the back of his car and found her hat. She proudly put it back on head by the time he opened up the door for her. Nathan shook his head and laughed as they got out of the car, as Haley smiled triumphantly. They headed inside the James house and found Jimmy sitting on the couch in the living room.

"You kids have fun?" Jimmy asked, standing up.

"Yup. We even brought you and mom back some ice cream. How is she?" Haley asked concerned. When they returned home last night, they realized Taylor had left town since her car and clothes were gone. To make matters worse, no one had been able to get in touch with her and Lydia had been taking it hard. Haley had to push her mother into go shopping and even then, both their hearts weren't really into it.

"She's in the den. I'll bring her the ice cream," Jimmy took the bag from Nathan and then looked at Haley sternly. "Then, I'd like to talk to you."

Haley felt her blood pressure rise as she looked to Nathan for help. He began rubbing her arms, but was unsure what else he could do.

"Should I leave?" He wondered aloud.

"No! Please stay…" Haley begged. "Let's go in the kitchen." Haley led him into the kitchen where they sat in silence at the kitchen table until Jimmy came in. Jimmy joined them but Haley noticed he wasn't interested in eating the ice cream they had brought him. That wasn't a good sign.

"Taylor called," Jimmy said looking at Haley.

Haley let out a sign of relief. "Thank God! So Mom's better?"

"Not exactly. Taylor's not planning on going to your brother's for Christmas. Needleless to say, you mother's devastated." Haley looked guiltily at Nathan, who appeared to be very uncomfortable at his presence during this serious conversation. "You wouldn't have any idea about why your sister changed her mind, would you?" Jimmy asked her suspiciously.

Haley looked down, unable to meet her father's eyes. She was surprised a moment later when Nathan stood up.

"I think I should go," Nathan said slowly.

"I think Lydia could use some company," Jimmy suggested.

"Sounds good," Nathan said as he gave Haley a squeeze on her shoulders.

Haley nodded glumly as he left.

"So?" Jimmy asked.

"We kind of exchanged words," Haley reluctantly admitted.

"I told you to be careful with her, Haley. She's not as tough as she seems."

"I know you're right, Dad, but she got me so mad! I shouldn't have said what I did, though. I was going to talk to her, but then she left."

"Well, her phone is back on now. Why don't you call her?"

"Okay," Haley said hesitantly.

"Haley Bob, I'm looking to you to make this right. I know you can do it. You two have had your share of fights over the years, but she always looked up to you like you were her big sister. Deep down, that's what she needs."

"I'll go do it now." Jimmy gave his daughter a tight hug before she headed up to her room to use the phone in private.

Haley sat on her bed looking at the phone for a long time. She knew her father was right, but she didn't know what to say to her. After accepting that there were no magical words that were going to pop into her head, she finally picked up the phone and held in her breath as she dialed the numbers.

"Hello?"

"Taylor?" Haley braced herself for the response.

"Who else would it be?" Taylor scoffed.

"I know. Please don't hang up," Haley said quickly.

"What do you want?"

"To talk with you. To apologize," Haley said sincerely.

"For what? Being honest? For saying what you really think of me?"

"I shouldn't have said what I did. I said it to be mean because I was mad. I didn't think about it. If I had, I wouldn't have said it." Haley waited nervously for a response, but she was only met with silence. "Taylor? You still there?"

"I'm here. Look, I said some things I regret too. I don't even know why. It's just that you two looked so happy…"

"I know you're going through a lot, Tay. I should have been there for you," Haley said regretfully.

"There's nothing you can do. It just hurts, you know? And I know Mom is trying, but I hate the disappointment I see in her eyes when she looks at me."

"She's not disappointed in you. She's more just mad at herself. She and Dad feel like they let you down in some way."

"Ha! I've always been the black sheep of the family, Haley Bob! They have to know that?"

"That's not true!" Haley began to protest. "I was always the one left out of everything! I was too young to be with you and Quinn—"

"Puh-lease! Quinn always had her own friends. Then, she always had a boyfriend. Even now she has David. Everything has always come so easy to her! And you had the Scotts, and I was the one left out. The three of you were always so tight. I never really had any friends of my own like that. I guess I was jealous."

"It was nothing to be jealous of," Haley mumbled as she thought how it was that shared secret with Rachel and Nathan from that traumatic night that helped them form that tight bond.

"What?"

"I didn't know that, Tay," Haley said, shifting gears. "I didn't mean to leave you out."

"Well, we were young. That's really not what I meant though. I just feel…different from the rest of you. You all have goals and dreams and I….don't. I don't know where I came from."

"Mom thinks you were just like her when she was young; before she met Dad."

"Really? She told you that?"

"I heard her tell that to Vivian. You know, everyone's worried about you." Taylor let out a heavy sign on the other side of the phone. "I really want you to come to Christmas. It won't be the same without you," Haley continued. When Taylor still didn't respond, Haley decided to try one more tactic. "Plus, I could really use someone to talk to. I'm having some issues." she added.

"You? Little Miss Perfect?" Taylor asked doubtfully.

"I'm not perfect," Haley said defensively. "I have my share of problems."

"Like what? Deciding what to wear for your date with Nathan? Oh, no let me guess- trying to deal with dating the star of the basketball team. Season's about to start, isn't it? You worried about not having enough time to spend with him?" Taylor said heavy on the sarcasm.

"You know, Taylor, I was being serious. There is no need for you to make fun of me!" Haley raised her voice, unable to control the anger building inside her.

"I'm not making fun of you. It's just that you have no idea what's it like to have real problems with a guy!"

"Ha! You have no idea what Nathan and I have been through! No idea! Things have never been easy for us and they certainly aren't now! You wouldn't have any clue about that, Taylor, because _you never ask_. You never check in to see how I'm doing, or anyone else for that matter!" Haley suddenly felt guilty as she realized she'd practically been screaming at Taylor. This definitely was not what her father intended when he suggested she call make the call. "I'm sorry, Tay," Haley said softening. "I just really could use someone to talk to and I'm taking that out on you."

"You and Nathan really have problems?" Taylor asked in disbelief.

"Yes. I mean, come on. You've seen how long it's taken us to get together. It's only been a little over a month."

"A month? You're not serious! Mom told me all about that hickey and that was last summer!"

"She told you?" Haley asked mortified.

"Oh yeah. I didn't believe it myself. Mom was convinced though. She watches you like a hawk, huh?"

"Now she does, thanks to you! You have no idea, Tay! Do you know that Dad has these rules? It's bad enough that Mom and Dad keep sitting me down for these sex talks, but then they actually sat me and Nathan down together!" Haley's irritation grew as she listened to Taylor's laughter.

"No way! I can't imagine that!" Taylor said though her laughter.

"Well, it happened. We just officially started dating and told them and they were, like, all ready to talk to us! Like they rehearsed it! I could use your help you know, since this is your fault!"

"We are nothing alike, Haley. If they can't see that, I don't know if I can help. The only advice I can give you is to use protection, but it sounds like they've already covered that!"

"Ha! One of Dad's rules is no sex, so don't worry about that!" Haley scoffed.

"You're kidding? Dad said that?" Taylor asked turning serious.

"I tried to tell you…"

"I'm sorry, Haley Bob. I didn't mean to set you up for this. They didn't do that with me," Taylor said apologetically.

"It wasn't just you." Haley was touched by Taylor's genuine concern and couldn't help but want to make her feel better. "Mom says it's because Nathan and I so serious already."

"Well, you are. You'll probably be married with five kids before I settle down." Taylor paused for a moment before continuing. "I do want that, you know? To settle down. To have something like you have with Nathan…"

"You will. I'm sure of it, but like I said before, Tay, it hasn't been easy with Nathan and me. It's not the fairytale some people,…" she said silently thinking of Rachel, "…think it is. I think,…I hope,…we're through the worst of it now that we're together…We still have our share of problems, though."

"Like what?"

Haley's mind began racing. Where to start? Knowing she didn't want talk about Damien, or Rachel, and that night that tied them all together in the first place, she decided to talk about something she knew Taylor had experience with.

"Dad's rule."

"Sex? You're obviously not going to follow that one, right? That would be absurd! He can't really expect—"

"Oh, Nathan agreed to it right away. I don't know if he was serious or not, but that's what he said," Haley dryly informed her.

"He can't mean it. He's so into you and he's a guy." Taylor paused for a moment. "Then again, he does have a serious amount of self-control even when he's drunk off his ass!"

"Taylor!" Haley screamed into the phone. She closed her eyes trying her hardest not to imagine a drunken Taylor and Nathan almost having sex.

"Sorry. Look, maybe he can hold out then, but what about you? Are you like one of those prudes that wants to wait until they are married?"

"I don't know. It was never something I had to deal with. It always seemed just a few years off and then all of a sudden—"

"It wasn't?" Taylor finished. "Here's the thing, Haley, like it or not, this is something you have to think about now. I didn't think it about much either and look where that got me. I mean, I've always enjoyed sex, but it hasn't meant much. At least until recently, and then it sucks when it means more to you than it does to the other person…" As Taylor trailed off, Haley knew she was referring to her most recent relationship with her college professor. "Anyway, it's different with you and Nathan and that's why it's probably going to happen sooner, rather than later, which is what Mom and Dad realize—"

"I don't think I'm ready, Taylor," Haley blurted out. "And besides that, Nathan already thinks I'm so young and backs off when ever things get intense."

"If you gave him the green light, he'd be ready. Trust me, Haley. He's been waiting a long time for you!"

"But how much longer is he going to wait? He graduates this year! You really think he'd go off to college a virgin?"

"He's still a virgin?" Taylor asked shocked.

"Um, yeah. Is that a big deal?" Haley asked miserably, already knowing the answer.

"Yes!" Taylor exclaimed. "That changes everything! So, he's been waiting _for you_. And he _wants you_. He probably _wants you bad_," Taylor thought aloud. "But he's also into you. It's serious, so he's not going to pressure you too much because he cares about you. It's not all about the sex to him. Hmmm…I have to think about this one, Hales. I can't say I've had experiences like this. We'll have to talk at Christmas."

"You'll come?" Haley said as a wave of relief hit her.

"Yeah, I'll come. Just don't have sex with him until then. I have to have my own sex talk with you. And trust me, it will be nothing like Mom and Dad's!" Taylor said mischievously.

"Good, because I have no idea what I'm doing, Tay!"

"Leave it to me, little sis."

"Just don't tell Mom?"

"I would never. Plus, I guess I owe you considering how easy I got off."

"Can you call her yourself and tell her your coming for Christmas? I know it'll make her happy."

"Okay. I'll call her in a little bit. I have to run an errand first."

"Taylor, I know we fight a lot but I want you to know—"

"I know, Hales. I have to go. See you at Christmas."

Before Haley could say goodbye, Taylor had hung up. Even though Taylor had ended the conversation before it got too sentimental, Haley couldn't help but feel like she and her sister had reached a new understanding. She was desperate keep that momentum going and began to think about how they could do that. Haley turned on her computer and began typing up emails to Vivian and Quinn suggesting that they do something nice for Taylor for the holidays. She also hoped the girls could all spend one day together doing some female bonding. She smiled to herself as she heard the phone ring, knowing it was Taylor calling to share the changes of plans with her mother.

When she was finished, Haley's thoughts turned to Rachel. One simple, honest conversation had done so much for her and Taylor, could it do the same for them? If she opened up to her, would Rachel drop her bitchy act and be honest with her? Then, maybe, just maybe, the past could be the past and they could move forward. Haley was doubtful, but now more than ever, was willing to consider it a possibility.

Lost in her thoughts, Haley was startled when Nathan called out to her from her doorway.

"I have to get going, Hales."

"Oh my God!" Haley gasped. "I forgot you were here!"

"Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically.

Haley jumped to her feet and threw her arms around him in a fierce hug. "No, don't go. Let's go downstairs—"

"My mom called and she wants me to go home."

"Is everything okay?" Haley asked worried.

"She had an appointment with her lawyer today. They're signing divorce papers next week so I'm guess it's about that."

"Call me later?" Haley asked figuring he would want to talk about it.

"I'm actually going to get to try to get to bed early tonight."

Haley looked at her clock. "It's only eight!"

"Yeah, but I want to rest up for tomorrow," Nathan said with a glint in his eye as he began stroking her cheek. "You see, my hot girlfriend made all these plans for me and I don't want to disappoint her…"

"Ha! It wouldn't have anything to do with getting up at six a.m. for basketball practice?" Haley challenged him.

"That's just my warm up. I'm saving my real energy for around one o'clock. Actually, it'll be around the time my mom leaves," he smirked.

"Well, you better get going then," Haley said as she tried halfheartedly to push him away.

Nathan continued to stand in place, amused. He looked at Haley and tried to label his feelings. There were so many of them and all of them were good ones. He was in love with her, had been for a long time, and had finally told her as much earlier. Her reaction to this had made him feel even better, even more secure about their relationship. He also loved being so close to her like this, and being a part of her life so that he could see firsthand all the qualities that he loved about her so much. Right now, that included how Haley standing up for herself, as she had been recently with both his sister and hers, yet she still having the same compassion she'd always had. It was both those things that brought them back together after all.

"So you made things right with your sister?" he asked pulling her close.

"How did you know?" Haley asked curiously.

"Well, your mom burst into tears minutes after she got on the phone so it wasn't that hard to figure out. I knew you could do it," he said proudly as he kissed her forehead.

It was not lost on Haley how his words echoed her father's. She couldn't believe how they had such a strong faith in her. Still, it was Nathan's faith that affected her the most. She was touched and grateful to have his support through her own family drama. Having Nathan there, _just for her_, was something she was getting used to and made her feel special. They were like a real couple now, and she loved how he was becoming her go-to person; her other half.

Haley put her arms around his neck and kissed him, her way of showing him how she felt. When the broke away, Haley was sure to look into his eyes as she said, "I love you."

Nathan's face immediately lit up, as he reciprocated. "I love you, too." He lingered for a few more minutes, as they kissed a few more times. When they heard movement from downstairs, they slowly headed out to the hallway, where Haley watched from the top of the stairs as Nathan headed out. When he reached the doorway, Lydia stopped him. Even from where Haley was standing, she could tell her mother had tears in her eyes as she hugged him tightly.

"Thank you for everything," Lydia said, her voice cracking. When Nathan looked up and saw Haley's curious glances, he began to turn red, surprising Haley. Nathan rarely was ever embarrassed, as he was now, as he tried to rush out the door.

"He's a keeper, Haley Bob!" Lydia shouted up towards Haley. Haley smiled brightly at her mother, happy to see her mood brightened and loving that Nathan might have had something to do with it as well.

* * *

Haley knocked the Scott's door before letting herself in. As she did, she was immediately greeted by Deb. Haley had to admit she looked great. She had a new sleek hair cut, was dressed very stylishly and was beaming. It was a far cry from her appearance over the summer.

"Oh, Haley! I missed you!" Deb said, giving her a tight hug. "I didn't get the chance to catch up with you at Thanksgiving. I was so happy when Nathan told me you were coming by!"

"I know. I missed you too. How are you?" Haley said taking a seat on the living room couch.

"Good. Better. I'm ready to move on. I have some outpatient and group therapy to keep me busy for a while, but I don't mind that. Enough about me! Tell me about you! How's your school year going? Are you still tutoring?"

Haley and Deb spend the next ten minutes catching up. Haley talked about her classes, the new people she was tutoring this year and her job at the café. Deb was happy to share the news about Coop and Jules wedding as she showed Haley the save-the-date cards that were about to be sent out. Then, just as Haley had feared, the conversation shifted to Rachel.

"Have you talked to Rachel recently? I know she went to your house to bake for Thanksgiving but I was surprised she wouldn't come by the café."

Haley began to shift uncomfortably. She wasn't sure how much contact Rachel had with her mother or how much Nathan had filled her in.

"Nathan said she was with her dad in Raleigh, right?"

"Yes, but I think they were back early enough for her to stop by. I'm just worried about her, you know? I'm trying to get custody back but Dan's not making it easy. As long as I keep up with my therapy, I don't think he can keep her away from me any longer. Then, maybe we can start over. She barely speaks to me or Nathan now. How about you? Tell me she has one decent person left in her life…"

Haley felt the guilt creeping up inside her as Deb searched her for the answer she wanted to hear. It was, however, an answer that Haley couldn't give her.

"We haven't been talking recently," Haley reluctantly admitted.

"What about in school? You're in some of the same classes, aren't you?" Deb asked with a hint of desperation.

Haley began looking around wondering where Nathan was. It wasn't that she minded being alone with Deb, they had spent a lot of one-on-one time together over the years; it was that she found this particular conversation to be unnerving. "Maybe a little but…see the thing is…" Haley began, feeling there was on alternative but to tell the truth, "…Rachel's not happy about Nathan and me getting together."

"She's always been jealous of you two," Deb stated with certainty. "She's like her farther in that way. She'll come around though, Haley. She has to. You're her best friend and he's her brother. She doesn't have a choice," Deb said as if she was trying to convince herself as well as Haley.

Haley just nodded and weakly smiled at Deb. She didn't have the heart to tell her that she and Rachel hadn't been best friends for a long time and that Rachel rejected Nathan as her brother.

"Please don't give up on her? You're the closest thing she has to a sister," Deb begged.

Haley knew Deb's pleas were that of mother who was worried about their child. She couldn't help but think of her own mother and Taylor. Once again, Haley began to wonder if she could make things right with Rachel. These days, she was beginning to think anything was possible with Nathan by her side.

As if on cue, Nathan strutted into the living room, his hair still slightly damp from his shower. He smiles at the sight of his mother and Haley sitting in the living room chatting.

"Hey, sweetie! Haley and I were just talking about your sister."

"Sorry I missed that conversation," Nathan said sarcastically as he took a seat next to Haley. "Did you tell her about Christmas?"

"No. Maybe you can? I actually have to get going," Deb said standing up. Deb went over and gave Haley a quick hug. When she turned to Nathan, she put her hand to Nathan's face. "We'll think of something," she promised him.

As soon as Deb exited, Haley turned to Nathan, wanting an explanation.

"What?" Nathan asked, not wanting to talk about it.

"Nathan!"

"Can't we just…" Nathan leaned over and tried to kiss Haley, but she jumped to her feet. "Fine!" Nathan said irritated at her persistence. "Just sit back down, huh?"

Haley complied as she sat back down facing him. "What's going on?"

"My mom wants to spend Christmas with Rachel and since my dad got her for Thanksgiving, I guess that was only fair. The thing is it means that now I'm supposed to—"

"No! You can't be alone with your father!"

"No, it's not going to happen," Nathan said confidently. We're trying to figure something out. I'm almost eighteen, so I guess the judge can't really make me, or he won't, but the problem is that my mom wants to go away to Park City again. I guess Coop and Jules are going too, but I can't go because of basketball."

"Your mom's leaving you for Christmas?" Haley asked surprised.

"No. Just like last year, she wants to fly out a couple days after for New Year's. So anyway, the judge won't make me stay with my father, but he won't let me be alone either."

"Can you stay with Lucas?"

"Maybe. It's just that they don't have an extra room and it would just set my dad off even more…"

Haley's eyes lit up and she smacked Nathan's knee in excitement. "You can stay with me! We're coming back right after Christmas because my grandmother is having surgery. You know we have plenty of rooms now. You can stay in Zach's old room. It'll be so much fun!"

As Haley continued to babble, Nathan eyes traveled down to her hand that was resting on his knee. As his body began to respond, he shifted slightly, causing Haley's hand to move further down his leg, dangerously close to his crotch. Nathan's head jerked up as she suddenly squeezed his leg.

"Nathan! Are you listening? What do you think?"

"Huh?" He asked trying to focus on what she had been saying.

"Do you want to stay with my family?"

"You're forgetting your dad's rules, Hales. There's no way they would allow that."

"This would be at my house which is different. Plus, did you know Quinn and David are living together now? They have been since last summer! My parents are being so hypocritical!"

"Quinn and David are seniors in college, Hales. That's a big difference," Nathan pointed out.

"Still, I bet we can convince them. Things are going so good right now and I saw how you were with my mom. I think you've won her over. It can't hurt to try!" Haley pleaded her case, squeezing him again.

"Okay…we can try…" Nathan said slowly as he sat back and closed his eyes. "I just don't want to get on your dad's bad side."

"You won't," Haley promised. Nathan continued to sit there with his eyes closed and Haley began to look at him curiously. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," he said sitting up, looking at her hand again.

Haley followed his glance, her eyes widening as she noticed the bulge in his pants. She quickly pulled her hand away and began to blush profusely. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

"Haley, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's not a bad thing, you know." Haley looked at him unsure of what to say. "Look, I don't want to pressure you. Why don't we throw in the movie?" Nathan stood up and began looking around for the movie.

"_Sixteen Candles_?" Nathan asked disappointed. "You actually bought this?"

"No, but I did always want to buy a pink dress like the one Samantha wears! Lucas gave it to me for my birthday," Haley explained.

"Remind me to thank him." Nathan began to head over to the tv but turned around when he realized Haley was right behind him.

"Why don't we go watch it in your room?" Haley asked innocently.

"Yeah?" Nathan said hesitantly.

"It's more comfy and we can snuggle…" Haley smiled suggestively.

"If that's what you want…"

"I do." Haley took his hand and began to lead him up the stairs towards his bedroom.

Once Nathan had put on the movie, they settled on his bed with Haley's head resting on his shoulder and Nathan's hand stretched across her stomach. Every chance he got, Nathan teased Haley about the movie and every time, Haley responded by rubbing his leg, knowing full well the effect it was having on him.

"You better never forget my birthday like that," Haley said referring to the movie.

"Are you kidding me? I always go all out for your birthday! That's more than I can say for you!"

"What does that mean?" Haley said turning away from the movie and towards him.

"You got me a CD for my birthday last year," he reminded her.

"Yeah and do you remember why? Whose fault was that?" Haley challenged him.

"So then, don't get me anything! I didn't deserve it anyway. But a CD? Well, that was just lame," he scoffed.

"My mom gave me the idea!"

"Really? I thought she liked me!"

"It wasn't that. She just told me to treat you like a friend; like Lucas."

"Lucas? That's even worse!" Nathan then began to ponder this, thinking of how wise Lydia could be when she wanted to be. "You think she knew that would piss me off?" Nathan mused.

"I don't know. I didn't even realize it did. Why did it bother you so much?"

"I didn't want to be your friend, Hales. I never did. God, I was so screwed up then!" Nathan remembered. "I don't know if I'll ever understand why you're with me." Nathan closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh as he thought of all the mistakes he'd made. Nathan's eyes flew open as he felt one of Haley's hands slip under his shirt. Her hand began lightly rubbing him and Nathan remained fully alert as she shifted her weight onto him.

"Stop that, Nathan Scott. Do you have any idea how you make me feel?" Haley whispered into his ear. Nathan swallowed hard and moved his hands under her shirt, resting on the small of her back. "I love you," Haley continued. "And you love me. _Nothing else matters_."

Not willing to wait for a response, Haley lips crashed onto Nathan's as her hand felt the smoothness of his bare chest. She could feel a warmness forming inside her as she pressed her body up against his. Wanting to feel even closer to him, she began using her tongue in their fierce kisses. After a few minutes of this intense activity, Haley was left still wanting more. She thought back the dreams she had been having of him and knew what she was craving.

"Can you take your shirt off?" Haley asked, shifty slightly off him.

"I'm getting hot anyway," Nathan smiled as he fulfilled her request.

Unable to help herself, Haley moved her hands up and down the length of his body. His body was hot to her touch and she loved how well defined his abs were. She knew that he had been using his time away from football working out to get ready for basketball and that was clearly paying off. When Haley's eyes met his, she could read the lust in them and feeling encouraged, she moved her lips to his neck. Nathan let out a quiet groan as her kisses moved down to his chest. When she reached the tip of his jeans, Haley took a deep breath as she noticed the swell at his crotch. Knowing she wasn't ready to go any further, she slowly began to work her way back up to his mouth.

Meanwhile, Nathan's hands travel up the back of the shirt and stopped briefly at her bra strap. He quickly moved him back to the base of her back. Haley picked her head up, knowing he was looking for her permission. "It's okay," she said looking into his darkening blue eyes.

Nathan hands moved back up and unhooked her bra strap. He then shifted them so they were both on their sides. They fell silent, looking into each other's eyes as Haley lightly rubbed his shoulders and he rubbed her back.

Nathan kissed her forehead. "Is this too much?"

"No. I love to feel close to you like this," Haley said linking her hands through his arms to reach his back. "I want you to feel me too."

Nathan began kissing her again as his hand tentatively moved up the front of her shirt, stopping at her breasts. Haley breathed in as she felt his hand, which was slightly calloused over from basketball, tenderly cup her breasts. She closed her eyes and let out a moan as his thumb began to run soft circles over her nipple. He did this for a few minutes before switching breasts all the while watching her carefully, as he felt his own desires grow as she responded to his touch.

Sensing they were both close to reaching their limits for the day, Nathan closed his own eyes as well and rested his forehead against hers. They both calmed down and eventually shifted their attention back to the movie although they continued to gently kiss and touch other but with less intensity than before. When the movie ended, they began to put themselves back together in anticipation of Deb returning.

"I want to run home and get ready for tonight."

"Are we dressing up for tonight? Let me change and then, I'll come with you," Nathan suggested.

Haley moved in front of his closet and began looking at his shirts. "Red is your color. What do you have in red? Oh and your black jeans! Wear those!"

Haley felt Nathan's hands around her waist and she leaned back as she kissed her head. "I am so whipped."

"You love it," Haley said turning around giving him a quick kiss.

"You got that right." With that, Nathan grabbed her ass, causing her to squeal.

"Nathan!" Haley said, unable to suppress her smile.

"You love it," Nathan repeated with a wicked grin.

Haley smiled back at him, but ignored his comment. "You know, I want to talk to my parents about Christmas. I think it's better if I do it alone. Can you pick me up at five to babysit Lily?"

"You don't have to do this."

"I want to," she assured him. "Now, be a good boyfriend and go take a shower!" Haley left his room and began to head towards the stairs.

"I already took one!" Nathan protested.

"Take another one. Especially if you want to take advantage of the alone time we'll have after Lily goes to sleep," Haley said, not bothering to turn back to see his reaction.

"I'm on it!" Nathan called out to her, with new excitement forming inside him at the prospects of the evening. "Totally whipped," Nathan said aloud to himself as he headed towards the shower.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Always Love" (Nada Surf) Another great OTH song!

AN: Hope you liked the first official "I love you's." I know it is different from the show, but as they grew up together I didn't think it should be a big revelation, more just something that came out naturally in conversation. Take notice of how it always seems to be Nathan who is the first to voice his feelings. That is a character trait of his, while Haley is more reserved at first and sometimes has trouble verbalizing her feelings.

I wrote a scene about the conversation between Lydia and Nathan but ended up taking it out. It is not relevant and only slightly sets up things that come later. I took it out because I wanted to stick with the Haley point of view so that you can see how comfortable Nathan is in the James house and how comfortable she is with him there (she forgets he is even there!). Anyway, if you want to read the "deleted scene" let me know and I can figure something out. So far, there are two other "deleted scenes" from future chapters I took out as well for flow purposes. I'll let you know about those too if there is interest.

Thank you for reading and even more to my reviewers!


	28. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 27: "Always Love" (Nada Surf)

Nathan focused intently on quietly shutting the door to Lily's room. When he turned around, he was startled to see Lucas sweep past him, heading towards his bedroom.

"Hey!" Lucas exclaimed too loudly for Nathan's liking.

"Shhh…Dude, be quiet. She just went to sleep," Nathan said seriously, as he followed Lucas into his bedroom. "What are you doing here?"

"Dude, it's my house," Lucas reminded him, as he began riffling through his closet. Lucas stopped and turned around examined Nathan, who was wearing a maroon button down collared shirt that hung loosely over a pair of black jeans. "Why are you wearing that?" Lucas asked in a disgusted tone.

He knew Lucas thought he was too dressed up, but he didn't really care. "Haley picked it out," Nathan explained shrugging it off. "What's up your ass?"

"I guess I have to change before we go."

"Did you think you were going to wear that to the club? Where did you take her to dinner? McDonald's?" Nathan chuckled as he looked at Lucas's outfit which consisted of ripped jeans, a t-shirt and hoodie.

"You know, I don't need this, Nate! This is our first date getting back together and I wanted to go low key!" Lucas defended himself.

"Have you met Brooke? She doesn't do low key. Where exactly did you take her?"

"To the pizza place down the street," Lucas answered reluctantly.

Nathan burst into laughter, but immediately stopped as Lucas glared at him. "Okay, bad call, but let's move on. What do you have?" Nathan peered over Lucas' shoulder looking into his closet. Lucas pulled out a long-sleeved green shirt with yellow stripes. "You're not serious?" Nathan laughed.

"Are you going to laugh at me all night or help me?" Lucas asked frustrated.

"Step aside. Watch and learn. Haley may have dressed me tonight, but how do you think I landed her in the first place?"

"You mean it wasn't your charming personality?" Lucas glowered at him.

"Definitely not," Nathan agreed. "You are a Scott though, and the ladies are a sucker for our blues eyes," Nathan said settling on a shirt. "Now, you can start by taking off that stupid necklace…"

A few minutes later, Nathan left Lucas to change and ran into Haley who was leaving Lily's room. He immediately slipped his arms around her waist.

"She's asleep," Haley whispered.

"You don't trust me, huh?" Nathan teased her.

"I do. I just wanted to make sure. I actually think we make a good team, don't we?"

"You change the diapers and I put her to sleep. Works for me." Nathan said as laid a soft kiss on her forehead. "Guess we don't have any more alone time," he lamented.

"I know," Haley frowned. "You think something's up with them? They seem a little…off." Brooke had been unusually quiet as she and Haley were waiting for the boys. It was that uncomfortable silence that had actually prompted Haley to check on Lily.

"Well, Lucas is pretty clueless, so that's part of the problem."

"Be nice," Haley warned him.

"I am," Nathan said defensively. "I'm just annoyed right now," he said looking around. "I don't want to have to babysit them all night. I just want to be with you."

"You are. We'll have fun. As soon as we get there, we can leave them and let them deal with their stuff."

"I don't know, Hales. I can't leave Luke like that. He's been there for me…Plus, he's got no game and I can definitely help him what that!" Nathan smirked.

Haley grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him towards her. "You are so sexy when you are sweet and cocky like that!" In flash, his lips met hers and they began to eagerly kiss.

"Aww…gross…" Lucas said as he appeared from his bedroom wearing a blue collared shirt with white pin stripes and a pair of Dockers. "Is this what you two do when you watch my baby sister?" He said brushing past them as he left his room.

Nathan and Haley broke apart, but Nathan's hands remained around her waist. "No, this is what we do after we put your sister to sleep. You know, when we're supposed to be alone!" He called out after Lucas.

"Shhh…" Haley reminded him they were just outside Lily's room. "You two are just like brothers!"

"I'd rather have him, than Rachel," Nathan scoffed.

"I've actually been thinking about her lately," Haley began seriously.

"Did my mom get to you?"

"No…Maybe a little," she admitted, knowing how well he could read her. "I was thinking about her and Taylor and that maybe if I talked to her one more time, then maybe, just maybe, she'd come around."

"I really don't think so, Hales, but if you want to give it a shot…"

"I'm not sure. I was just thinking about it."

"You want me to do it with you? I'm going to have to deal with her soon enough for Christmas."

"I think it would make it worse if it was the two of us. You could try talking to her on your own too?" Haley suggested looking up at him sweetly.

"We'll see. I just really hope your parents will let me stay with you when you get back from Florida. My father is even worse when Rachel isn't around."

"They said they'd think about it," Haley reminded him. "I think my mom will end up convincing my dad."

"I knew she liked me," Nathan said smugly.

* * *

Haley looked hopelessly at Nathan as she was dragged out to the dance floor, yet again, by Brooke. An hour into being at Tric and Brooke and Lucas had barely spoken to each other, and Haley and Nathan were left to deal with each of them separately. After a couple of songs, Haley looked over and saw both Nathan and Lucas standing with their arms crossed watching them from a nearby table. Both looked miserable and Haley decided to take action. She pulled Brooke to the corner of the dance floor, out of their line of view.

"What is going on Brooke?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to have a good time! Hey, do you have that fake ID Rachel gave you for your birthday?"

"Brooke!" Haley said frustrated. "No one's having a good time right now, including you, and that's not going to make it any better. Did Lucas do something to you?"

"No," Brooke said unable to meet Haley's eyes.

"Brooke!"

"I just don't know if this is going to work," Brooke blurted out.

"You and Lucas?" Haley asked genuinely surprised. "Why did agree go out with him, then?"

"I don't know. I thought I could do it," Brooke said torn. "Then,…It's just,….I don't know if I can let him back in, Haley." Haley could see that Brooke was on the verge of tears and so she gave her a tight hug. "Thanks, Tutor Girl," Brooke said wiping the corner of her eyes. "How did you do it with Nathan? He hurt you, right? How were you able to move past it?"

"It wasn't easy and it takes time, but," Haley paused thinking of their relationship, "he's worth it. I love him and he loves me and we all make mistakes. He's being honest with me now and I really can see how much he's changed," she said proudly. "Here's the thing, Brooke. You have to move past it if it's going to work and that's tough…It's tough just to let the past go. You have to think about if he's worth that to you. If he's not, then that's fine. No one would blame you. I just thought there was something pulling you back to him though," Haley said trying to understand.

"There is," Brooke nodded. "I just don't know if I can trust him again."

"You won't know that until you try. It's a risk. If you don't take it, you'll never know." Haley thought of how happy she was and knew she would have regretted it if she didn't give Nathan another shot. She knew it could be the same for Brooke and Lucas, but she was trying to let Brooke sort it out herself. Brooke nodded, tears filling up her eyes. "Take it slow, Brooke. Just hang out with him and see how you feel."

"I'm scared to be alone with him. I don't think I'm ready for that. I just see myself getting caught up in the heat of the moment and I don't want that to happen."

"Then stick with Nathan and me for now, as least for tonight. Then maybe go out with Peyton and Jake or is that weird?"

"No, its fine, but they don't go out much because of Jenny. Like, they're home with her tonight. I know it's killing Peyton not to be here tonight, but she's crazy about Jake."

"She must be. She'd love it here!" Haley said glancing around the trendy nightclub, before turning her attention back to Brooke. "Still, I'm here for you, Brooke, no matter what happens. I know that Lucas and I are real close, but trust me when I tell you that we are very skilled at keeping our relationship separate from other ones," Haley shook her head as she thought of the middle school years she'd spent with Rachel and Lucas and then Nathan had been thrown into the mix once they reached high school. It all seemed crazy now.

"I'm so happy that all seems to be behind you," Brooke said sincerely. "You and Nate deserve to be happy."

"Everything's not behind us," Haley muttered.

"Rachel?" Brooke guessed.

"Nathan thinks I'm crazy, but I'm going to give it one last shot. I'm hoping she'll come around. Have you talked to her lately?"

"Not really, only in school. I'm surprised she's not here," Brooke said looking around. "Haley, I know you hate to drink, but I really need something to take off the edge here. Do you have that ID with you? I have my own, but I don't want to get a drink alone," Brooke pleaded.

"I have it," Haley said uneasily as she tensed up. It wasn't the first time Haley had felt pressure to drink and she knew it wouldn't be the last. This time she was seriously considering trying it, wondering what all the fuss was about. She couldn't explain it, but she felt so good these days and she enjoyed the whole new side of her that was emerging. It was a risk, but she was confident that she could handle just one drink. She also wanted to see how it affected her as she had seen how it was different depending on the person. Brooke and Jake got happier, Rachel got even bitchier, and Peyton and Lucas seemed to get even moodier.

Then there was Nathan. She hadn't figured out that one yet. The one time she'd seen Nathan drunk was the time he climbed in her window the night before he left for football camp. From that single experience, she saw a vulnerable Nathan, as he blurted out his feelings for her and looked at her with those lost blue eyes. Then, of course, he'd sobered up and left her, going on as if nothing happened. That was then, and this was now, and she wondered if he was just that way because he was holding so much in. What would he be like these days if he drank? He promised her he wouldn't, but maybe it wasn't such a big deal after all. She decided not to hold him to that.

But there was there was still the defining experience that lingered in her mind from _that night; _the one that triggered all her concerns about alcohol. The one that made her swear she'd never touch a drop of alcohol. She'd seen firsthand how alcohol could bring out the evil in a person and drive them to do unthinkable, unspeakable things. Haley shook off those thoughts as she tried to convince herself that alcohol could not be blamed for what happened. That man had evil and hatred in his heart; it was the only way to explain how someone could do those things.

Haley now became determined, as she thought ahead of talking to Rachel, not to let _that night_ dictate her future. She was not full of hate. In fact, at the moment Haley was madly in love with someone who loved her back. Yes, she should be able to enjoy a drink just like everyone else. She'd never know unless she tried, right? She thought of her parents and how a few drinks seemed to mellow them out. She bet that would happen to her as well and it would certainly be a welcoming feeling right about now. Besides, she knew she could completely trust Nathan to watch over her. "Okay," Haley agreed, "let's go find the guys first, huh?"

Haley and Brooke joined Nathan and Lucas, who were in the midst of a heated conversation about basketball. Brooke and Haley listened to the conversation at first, but quickly grew bored until they both spotted Rachel.

"I think it's time for those drinks, don't you, Tutor Girl?" Brooke asked standing up. Haley joined her pulling out her ID causing both Lucas and Nathan to curiously look at her. "You boys want anything?" Brooke asked them.

"I'm driving. You go ahead," Nathan said nodding at them.

"I'm all set," Lucas replied.

"You, uh, getting something, Hales?" Nathan couldn't help but ask.

"I think so," Haley answered confidently. "I'm going to go talk to Rachel, too," Haley said taking a deep breath summoning her courage.

"Drinks first," Brooke said, grabbing her hand as she led her to the bar. "We'll have two screaming orgasms," Brooke said, flashing a wide smiled at the bartender. She promptly placed both their ID's in his hands and gave Haley a wink after he handed them back and went to make the drinks. Haley looked around and saw Rachel heading towards the ladies room.

"Brooke, I'm going to find Rachel. I'll meet you back at the table?" Brooke nodded and Haley shoved some money in her hands to pay the tab and headed off.

Haley was relieved to find the ladies room empty with the exception of Rachel. Rachel was startled to see her and quickly began throwing some items Haley didn't have time to identify in her purse. She met Haley's eyes briefly and then immediately turned her attention to the mirror.

Haley decided to get right to the point. "Rachel, I wanted to talk to you." Rachel rolled her eyes and then ignored her. "Come on, Rach. Can't we just get past all this? We've been friends for so long. Do you really want that to be over?"

"You're wrong. We were never really friends. We were only ever friends when it was good for you! All you did was use me. The second you landed my brother, you were done. What do you need now, Haley? Trying to make nice since you know I'm going to be forced to stay with my mom soon? Looking to be the 'picture perfect' girlfriend? Gag me," Rachel said disgusted.

"It's not like that, Rachel. I mean, I do want to get along, but it's more than that. We've been through so much; all of us. We've all made mistakes, but can't we move past it?"

"We've made mistakes? What the hell have I done? What have I gotten out of this? You and Nathan are the couple you've always wanted to be. And me? Well, I guess you left me behind a long time ago. Don't talk to me about mistakes, Haley. I'm the one who has had to live with them."

Haley's eyes filled with tears, as she felt the truth behind Rachel's words. No matter what the three of them had been through, no one could deny _Rachel had suffered the most_. "I'm sorry," Haley said with a quiet sob.

"Look at me, Haley!" Rachel said, her eyes brimming with anger. "I see the pity that's in your eyes when you look at me. I don't want that!" she screamed. Haley began to tremble, knowing that Rachel's anger was about to reach new heights. "You know what I want you to see when you look at me?" Rachel narrowed her eyes at Haley and took a step towards her. "_Hate_," she said lowering her voice. "Whenever I see you, I think of what happened and how you ran away. _I hate you, Haley James, and I always will_." With that, Rachel brushed Haley's shoulder as she exited the room.

Haley closed her eyes and let a few tears escape before she tried to compose herself. She was silly to think that she could get through to Rachel the same way she had with Taylor. They were not the same people after all and Rachel was still dealing the fallout of her traumatic childhood; something she obviously blamed Haley for. A minute later, Brooke flew into the room, breaking Haley's trance.

"What happened? I saw Rachel leave and she looked pissed and then we were watching for you, but you didn't come. You okay?" Brooke said putting her arm around her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Haley said straightening up. "I think I'm ready for that drink."

Brooke gave her a weak smile, followed by a tight hug. "Let's go. The boys are right outside and Nathan has your drink."

Sure enough, Nathan was standing outside the door and Haley flew into his arms, almost knocking the drink out of his hands.

"Hey," Nathan said trying to comfort her as he rubbed her back with his free hand. When Haley began to feel better, she pulled away and took the glass from his hand. She drank it as fast as she could and place the empty glass on a nearby table. She looked back and saw Nathan, Lucas and Brooke looking at her in shock.

"What?" Haley scowled. "Let's go dance." She took a reluctant Nathan's hand and pulled him towards the dance floor.

Once on the dance floor, Haley settled into Nathan's arms and they swayed slowly with her head nestled against his chest, ignoring the beats of the fast song. Nathan wasn't sure what happened, but he was concerned. Her arms were wrapped around his neck as if she were holding on for dear life. When her grip finally began to loosen, Nathan hoped she was getting ready to talk.

"I probably shouldn't have drunk it like that, huh?" Haley said as she looked up at him.

"You okay? Want to leave?"

"No. I don't feel any different. Am I supposed to?" she looked at him confused.

"Give it some time."

"I'm kind of scared. I know how alcohol affects some people," Haley said now only able to think about Rachel and _that night_. "Don't leave me?"

Nathan tightened his grip around her waist and kissed her forehead. "Never. You'll be fine. You want to tell me what happened?"

"She hates me," Haley mumbled, burying her face in his chest.

"No, she doesn't—"

Haley looked up him, her eyes widening. "No, she does. She told me. She said _those words_."

"She's probably drunk. She doesn't mean it, Hales. I promise you," he assured her.

"Just hold me," Haley said putting her head back on his shoulder. After a couple of minutes, Haley looked up, remembering how Brooke didn't want to be alone with Lucas. "Where's Brooke?"

"With Luke."

"Oh no! I wasn't supposed to leave her!"

"I think they're fine." Nathan shifted her so Lucas and Brooke were in her line of view. Haley quickly looked away, not wanting to watch them make out.

"Oh my God! She's going to kill me!"

"That's what you two get for drinking like that," Nathan teased her.

"Shut up! You're one to talk! When did you have your first drink?"

"You can't compare me with you. Haley, I hope you don't think you have to change just because—"

"I wanted to try it! I want to see what it would feel like," Haley cut him off. "I actually want to try all new kinds of things these days." Haley looked up him flirtatiously.

"What kinds of things?" he asked amused.

"Let's get out of here and find out!" Haley laughed at herself, not knowing where her words were coming from. She knew she wasn't drunk but she was feeling giddy and slightly self-conscious. She hated being around all the people in the club when all she really wanted was to be alone with Nathan. She stole another glance of Brooke, who was all over Lucas and silently wished she could be more like that and not have a care in the world about people thought about her. Instead, she settled on giving Nathan a quick kiss.

"So how's it feeling, Hales?" Nathan joked as he noted even that small gesture was slightly out of character for Haley. "You get frisky when you drink? That's good to know!"

"Hey!" Haley said hitting him. Suddenly, she noticed Nathan's body stiffening. She followed his gaze to Damien who was at the bar, sitting on a stool, laughing with a group of girls around him.

"Maybe we should leave," Nathan contemplated, his eyebrows furrowed.

"We can't hide, Nathan. You have to deal with him now, right? You've been running those practices together."

Nathan looked at her but remained silent. He knew it was true, but still wasn't sure how to deal with it. Much to his dismay, Damien had been named co-captain of the basketball team and they already had to work together running the captain practices, getting ready for the season. That had been difficult enough since Nathan was in the tough position of being the captain voted on by the team, while Damien was the one named by the coaches. This was a new procedure this year for picking captains, as in previous years the team usually voted for both. Nathan knew Whitey and the other coaches didn't particularly care for Damien, so Nathan had come to the conclusion that Mr. West was somehow involved. Then, once the captains were announced, the team was fitted for a new set of uniforms, warm ups and all other kinds of apparel, all donated by the West family. This made everyone on the team happy, but they still looked to Nathan over Damien when it came to leadership. That had been apparent at their captain practices and Damien had noticed it and was already growing irritated.

Then there was still the matter of Daunte Jones. Nathan wasn't sure just how much Damien communicated with his own father, or knew of Daunte and his threats towards Nathan, he but figured once the season started, he would find out. After all, it should be pretty clear to tell if Damien was expecting his help in driving up his stats.

Haley could see Nathan was struggling as he thought things over. "Why don't we go over there? We could just say hi and then leave if it's too awkward."

"You would want to do that? After what he called you?" Nathan asked, as he started to feel angry remembering the party and how Damien had talked to her.

"I'm scared of him, especially now," Haley whispered, "but if I'm with you, I'm okay. If it's going to help make things easier for you then, I want to do it. "

"We'll just add assertive to the list! Assertive and frisky. I'm in trouble if you decide you like drinking!"

"Shut up!" Haley had to admit he was a little right as she found meaning in the term 'liquid courage.'

Nathan took her hand and they head towards Damien.

"Hey, Damien. How's it going?" Nathan asked casually. They both noticed Damien's eyes following Nathan's hand as it moved around Haley's waist.

"I'm surprised to see you two, here."

Damien turned around and took one from a row of full shot glass off of the bar and drank it. Haley and Nathan exchanged nervous glances.

"We thought we'd check it out," Nathan finally answered.

Damien picked up another shot glass and offered it to Nathan.

"No, thanks. I'm driving," Nathan answered quickly.

"Good call, Nate. I hear there are people around here looking to report athletes who drink. You could get in a lot of trouble for that, you know? Not to mention being underage." Damien smiled broadly at them, as he grabbed another shot and downed it. "You know my family is partners in this place? Actually, I think your dad helped get the okay for 'All Ages Night.' Why don't you thank him for me?"

"I'll do that," Nathan said dryly. "We were actually just heading out. I'll see you at practice tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it." Nathan and Haley began to go find Brooke and Lucas when they heard Damien call out. "I forgot to tell you!" They both slowly turned around to face Damien. "Looking fine tonight as usual, Hales!" Damien yelled out, followed by his wicked laugh.

Nathan dropped Haley's hand and before she knew it, Haley saw Nathan lunging towards Damien knocking him off the bar stool and onto the ground. He was only able to get in one good punch, a clock to the side of Damien's jaw, before two of Tric's bouncers were pulling Nathan off of him and escorting him out of the club.

Haley felt like she was in a daze as she stood frozen in place. It had all happened so fast, yet everything kept playing in slow motion as she watched Damien get to feet and nurse the side of his jaw. She tried to move, but couldn't, and began to panic as a seething Damien started to head towards her.

His words were going on replay in her head.

_Looking fine tonight as usual, Hales!_

His tone, the look in his eyes, the way he was coming towards her….it was all eerily reminiscent of _that night_ and Haley began to feel a flood of emotions hit her at once as she went back to _that night_; the night everything changed and Nathan became Haley's protector and Rachel's failure.

_She heard a man, a stranger, saying her name. She hadn't even realized he knew her name._

_She smelled the stench of alcohol coming from his breath._

_She heard him taunting her._

_She heard him threatening her. _

_She heard him banging on the door to the bathroom._

_Then she felt Nathan's arms around her, and going over her ears._

_Then the screaming stopped. _

_There were more threats, the scariest of them all; this time directed towards all of them. _

_Then it all stopped. _

_And he was gone._

Nathan. She needed Nathan. She needed him now.

Haley snapped out of it as Lucas grabbed her hand and began pulling her away just as Damien was about to reach her. Brooke led the way of the building, where they found Nathan pacing the sidewalk, his hands stuffed in his pockets, taking long deep breaths.

"Haley!"

Haley met Nathan in a long, warm embrace as both began to calm down. "You left me there—" Haley said as tears stabbed at her eyes.

"I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking. I just couldn't let him talk—"

"You can't go attacking people like that; him of all—."

"Don't you think I know that? I wasn't –" Nathan said regretfully.

"I know you weren't! That's the problem! You have no fear sometimes and it's so scary—"

"I have fear, Haley, but comes after. When I'm in that moment, I just need to protect the people I care about. I can't hesitate. _You know that_," he said pointedly.

"Well, after you left, he was coming at me. He was looking at me _that way_." A tear streamed down Haley's face. "_It felt just like that night_."

"I won't let him hurt you, I promise." Nathan looked at her long and hard. "Tell me you believe me, Hales. That'll I always protect you."

Haley shook her head at him vehemently. "I just can't lose you. I almost did when you when after him. I was all alone and—"

Nathan put his hands on Haley's shoulders. He understood that Haley was not talking about Damien, but instead about the events of _that night_. Her mind had wandered back to that place and she was obviously shaken up as her thoughts wavered back and forth between the past and the present. He couldn't blame her because if he stopped to think about it, he would probably feel the same. He just wasn't going to stop and think about it. He couldn't. "You won't," he assured her.

Brooke and Lucas just stood there watching them in awe. The connection the two of them had was undeniable as they spoke what seemed like a secret language in their half finished sentences and veiled language coupled with tender body language.

"What the hell is going on?" Brooke asked as she looked them both up and down. "What happened before and who do you need protecting from?"

They both looked up startled. They had forgotten they had an audience in Brooke and Lucas.

"Damien," Lucas answered for them. Haley and Nathan looked at each other and silently communicated that this explanation was acceptable, although it was just partially true. Lucas knew about the threats of Daunte Jones and the pressure on Nathan to help him look good for the scouts.

"Yeah, you remember what happened at the party. You know, what he said to Hales," Nathan said looking pointedly at Haley and Lucas, trying to make it clear that letting Brooke know about Daunte was off limits. He was still under the impression the less people that knew about that, the better. "Look, I'm going to get the car. We need to get out of here. Luke, you stay with the girls."

Haley pictured Nathan walking down the alley behind Tric to the parking lot and began to panic. She quickly grabbed his arm. "Nathan! You can't go alone!"

Nathan jerked away, clearly irritated. "Haley!" He said sternly. Then, seeing that look of panic in her eyes, immediately softened. He put his hands to her face and leaned in and kissed her on the lips. "You need to trust me, baby."

Haley slowly nodded. She was scared, but she did trust him, especially when it came to relying on his instincts. They had never steered him wrong before, whether it was on the court or when it came to protecting her.

Nathan nodded over at Lucas, who nodded back and he headed toward the alley.

About halfway down, he spotted someone at the very end crouched down; a girl from what he could tell. Her head was resting on her knees and her long hair spilled down around her. As he got closer, he could see from the reflection of the street light, the color of the hair.

It was red.

It was Rachel.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Ever the Same" (Rob Thomas)

AN: Not a OTH song for the next chapter, but one of my personal favorites! If you know the song…that is not a good sign for the next chapter, huh? Right now, it's a monster of a chapter (and probably not for the reasons you would think!) but I may trim it down a bit.

I'm interested to hear the reactions to this chapter, especially since I didn't get much a response to Chapter 20, which I think drove some readers away. I was anxious to post that one, just as I am about this one! Anyway, the heavy flashback scene is written, which reveals EVERYTHING and I'm very, very nervous about posting it. It was not fun to write and will not be fun to read. I am also not going to let you know when it comes up as I think that gives too much away. I do, however, want to know if you think I should tone it down a bit. There are things I can cut out and leave open to interpretation. If you are a loyal reader and have an opinion, let me know. You can review or pm me! Also, what do you think Nathan should do at this point? Do you feel bad for Rachel?

As always, thanks for reading and to my loyal reviewers! You are the best!


	29. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 28: "Ever the Same" (Rob Thomas)

Nathan crouched down on his knees, leaving him eye level with his sister. He slowly lifted her head and saw that she was a mess. She appeared to be awake, but Nathan knew better; appearances were never what they seemed with Rachel. She was most likely in the midst of an episode although it was hard to tell as her eyelids were only opened into small slits and were heavily swollen and red as if she'd been crying. He then moved his hand to the trail of dried blood that was just above her upper lip.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME!" Rachel screamed. She swiftly jumped up, pushed him away and ran to the parking lot.

Nathan realized at once that Rachel had not, in fact, being having one of her episodes. Once he recovered, he shot to his feet and caught up with her. "Rachel! Rachel, would you just wait!"

Rachel looked around frantically and when she saw they were alone took a seat on one of the wooden railings that surrounded the parking lot. Nathan quietly took a seat next to her. "Rachel, what happened to you? Did someone do this to you?" He asked her softly.

Rachel smoothed down her tattered hair and then glared at Nathan as she crossed her arms. "Yeah, Nate. Your girlfriend did this to me! She attacked me in the bathroom—"

"Rachel," Nathan said seriously, "she did not. How did you get that blood on your face?"

Rachel suddenly looked panicked as her hands flew to her face. It appeared as though she hadn't known about that and vigorously began to try to wipe it off. "Uh, I must have gotten a bloody nose. It's nothing," she muttered.

"So no one hurt you then?"

"Stop asking me the same questions! I already told you! Haley came at me in the bathroom!"

"Rachel, she was only trying to help. I mean, Haley and I really want to be there for you. Why don't you come with us? We're with Brooke and Lucas…"

Rachel appeared to consider this for a moment. Nathan watched her carefully as he swore he saw her brush away a tear. When he looked at her in that moment, he saw a lonely broken girl who was hurting and struggling. His heart when out to his sister and he reached out to put his arm around her. When Rachel felt his arm, she looked up at him and held his gaze as if trying to read his thoughts. He could feel her having that inner struggle between trying to decide whether to push him away or accept his help. It was the same sort of struggle he had himself with Haley once upon a time, back when he didn't feel good enough to be with her.

Rachel gave him a hard push away and it was clear she made up her mind. "Don't talk to me about _you and Haley_," she mocked him. "You two go off, with your tight group of friends, and don't worry about me."

Nathan watched as Rachel stood up as a pair headlights began moving towards them. The car stopped in front of Rachel and Nathan walked over to see who it was. As Rachel opened the door and got into the car, he saw it was Tim's older brother, Gary. This couldn't be good. Gary had always been into bad things, even going back to when he was in high school. Back then, it was making fake ID's and dealing pot and occasionally amphetamines and steroids. The last Nathan heard, Gary had dropped out of college and had taken a full-time job working for the Wests.

"Hey, Nate," Gary called out over Rachel.

"Hey. I really think Rachel needs to go home," Nathan said sternly.

"Well, that's where we're going. Your sister just called me for a ride. I didn't realize you were here," Gary shrugged.

"Right. _Well,_ _I am_, so, Rach, you want to come with me?"

"No! I'm going to Dad's. Gary's going to take me. Buzz off, Nathan!"

Gary smiled happily back at him, gave him a quick nod and then drove off.

* * *

Nathan pulled his car into Haley's driveway and put it into park. He hesitated on shutting the car off, as he knew what was coming. He had waited until he dropped off Brooke and Lucas and then he'd filled Haley in on his encounter with Rachel and Gary. Of course, Haley had wanted to turn around right then and go after them, which wasn't even a viable option to him. His priority was to get Haley home.

"You have to go check on her," Haley stated clearly. "You have to. I set her off, I know I did, and it's going to trigger something and God knows what that creep Gary's going to do—"

Nathan looked at her hesitantly. It's not that he didn't want to help his sister. It was just that he didn't want to leave Haley. They were both still shaken up from what happened at Tric and the memories that had flooded back from when they were kids. "What if I just called my dad? Let him deal with her…"

"He doesn't know how to deal with her!"

"Neither do I!"

"Yes, you do! I remember how you were when we found out she was cutting; you were so calm and gentle with her. Just go and make sure she's really home, huh? Then, see if she's in a state and then come right back."

"It's too late to come back, Hales."

Haley looked up at her house and could tell that her parents had already moved upstairs for the night. "My parents will be in bed soon. Come in through the window."

Nathan thought about this for a moment as he looked up again at her house. He could only vaguely remember doing that once before. "Uh, I don't know how I did that last time. I was pretty drunk then."

Haley then opened the door to the car. She got out and leaned back in, a smug smile across her face. "Well, then it should be easy for you this time since you're sober. Don't you let me down! I'm not going to be able to sleep until you get back!" With that, Haley slammed the car door shut and headed in to her house.

* * *

Nathan was happy to see Gary's car heading in the opposite direction as he pulled down the long dirt road that led to the beach house. Then he felt even more relieved when he saw his father's car in the driveway. He briefly considering turning around, then remembered Haley's words. She was right; his father did not truly know how to deal with Rachel. In fact, he had avoided dealing with her issues altogether and chose to live in denial, which was in Nathan's estimation, a major part of the problem.

To his knowledge, Dan had never really seen Rachel in the midst an episode. He suspected his father must know about it though, as there was a brief time his parents had brought her to therapy, at the school's recommendation after she had an episode while in school. For a while after that, Rachel didn't have any more episodes, and Dan was happy to point out to his wife that Rachel was fine, as Nathan overheard him saying many times when his parents were fighting. The episodes, however, always started back up again when they moved to the beach house for the summer. Nathan had thought he and Haley had been able to catch most of them, but he could never be completely sure. Now, with Rachel living at the beach house and Nathan living with his mother, he had no idea if anyone, including his father, was watching out for her.

Nathan shut off the car and let himself in the front door. He stopped short once he realized he was interrupting something. His father was at the bar mixing a drink while a brunette sat on the couch. Once Nathan saw her face, he recognized her as someone who lived in few houses down on their beach. She was wearing a bright red strapless dress and with his father in a suit, it was obvious the two had been out on a date.

"Nathan, son, what are you doing here?" Dan asked nicely.

Nathan rolled his eyes as he realized from his father's superficial tone that he wanted to put on show for his guest. Well, Nathan was not interested in playing the role of a happy son who was close to his father and was stopping by for a friendly visit. "I'm here to check on Rachel," Nathan muttered as he continued towards the stairs.

Nathan saw Rachel's door was shut, so he headed into his bedroom and went to enter her room through the adjoining bathroom. As soon as he tried to open the door, he immediately encountered some resistance; something was clearly pushed up against the door. He gently pushed the door a bit further and got a glimpse of Rachel's slumped over body. Nathan gently squeezed himself in through the door and kneeled down to his sister. Her eyes were open, but glazed over as she stared right through him.

In that moment, Nathan felt his heart breaking for his sister. He couldn't imagine her having these episodes her whole life. He was still convinced part of the problem was this damn beach house. Then the guilt began to set in as he began to consider that he should have fought harder to help her; to keep her out of the beach house and away from their denial-prone father. The problem was that when he should have been trying to help his sister, was when he was finally making the break from his father and trying to make things right with Haley. He had point-blank promised Haley that he'd choose her over Rachel every time. He didn't regret it, but that didn't make it easier as he came face-to-face with his sister, who was suffering from severe psychological problems.

Nathan regrouped and opened the door to Rachel's room and was shocked at the sight before him. To say it was a mess was an understatement. Rachel wasn't a neat freak, but he had never seen her room filthy like this. Clothes were in piles everywhere; some of them even appeared to be ripped in half. There were empty glasses and bowls, some of them with food still in them, all around her bureau, night stand and desk. Her bed wasn't made and there were bags and books covering half of it. The day bed, where Haley usually slept when she stayed over, housed a stack of pictures and frames, some of which were smashed. Nathan brushed these images aside and focused on making a pathway to her bed. He moved items aside and then straightened out her bed. Nathan then returned to the bathroom and carefully picked up Rachel. He carried her over to her bed and was just about to lay her down when his father appeared in the entrance of the bathroom.

"What the hell is going on?" Dan barked at him.

Nathan ignored him and gently laid down Rachel. He pulled up some covers over her and then turned to face his father. "I found her slumped up against the bathroom door."

Dan rubbed his chin as he took in this information. Nathan could tell he was already in denial mode and was trying to find a reasonable explanation for this.

"She probably just had too much to drink. She went to Tric and they weren't supposed to be, but I knew they'd be serving alcohol to minors—"

"Wake up, Dad! She didn't pass out. Look at her," Nathan said pointing towards her. "Go look. Her eyes are wide open."

Dan stood in place and crossed his arms across his chest. "Some people sleep like that."

"Ha!" Nathan scoffed. "No, they don't, Dad!" Nathan shook his head in disgust, knowing full well his father was not prepared to face this issue tonight. He did, after all, have a lady downstairs to entertain. Still, he had to let his father know just how serious this was. "Tell me, Dad, has this happened before? Have you seen her like this?"

"Your sister has a temper, Nathan. You know that. Sometimes she needs time to calm down. She goes off to her room and then, she's fine."

Nathan processed this information as his looked around the room. His eyes landed on some shards of glass from a hand held mirror that were spread out over her nightstand. He surmised the mirror, the smashed pictures frames, and the ripped clothes must have been from the fallout of one of her episodes; what happened when she really woke up. "This does not look fine to me," Nathan said dryly.

"Marie's been on vacation. I'll request a temp until she gets back."

"Dad," Nathan said seriously, "Rachel needs help, not a cleaning lady. She has some real issues and I know you don't want to see that, but they're just getting worse—"

"Your sister's issues stem from her mother!" Dan shouted. "You want to help your sister? Tell your mother to put an end to this ridiculous custody dispute! That's what's been driving her crazy lately! Rachel doesn't want to be with her—"

"Oh, like you're making things so easy for her? Let me ask you this, Dad; how did Rachel like seeing that bimbo in our living room? Tell me, she didn't flip out when she saw her?"

"I have every right to date—"

"You're not even divorced yet!"

"I will be on Monday!"

"And you couldn't wait until then? No wonder Rachel feels all alone! It's not like your spending your time watching her!"

"Get out! Leave, Nathan! I don't need this right now, and neither does your sister!"

Nathan kept his anger in check as he thought of what would happen when Rachel came out of it. "Fine," Nathan said as he lowered his voice. "But there are two things you need to know. First, _you cannot leave Rachel alone_ when she gets like this. Fuck, there's broken glass around here, Dad! I mean, really?" Nathan was disgusted as he looked around the room again. "Be here, when she gets up, trust me."

Nathan took one last look at his sister and then headed towards Rachel's door.

"Nathan?"

Nathan opened the door and then turned and looked at his father. He actually kind of looked scared. "What?"

"What's the second thing?" Dan asked hesitantly.

"_Rachel needs help_ and if you stick around you'll see that." Nathan paused and then added, "_Don't say I didn't warn you_."

* * *

"Fuck, Haley. You really need to get a cell phone!" Nathan took a seat on her bed and took off his shoes and began rubbing his feet. He had made the successful climb in through her window, but it hadn't been easy. He was honestly surprised that he hadn't woken her parents up with all of his stumbling.

"I know," Haley agreed. "My dad won't let me get one until he does. Let's look at the bright side! If I had a cell phone, then you wouldn't need to come see me like this." Haley gave him a hopeful smile as he continued to glare at her. "Are you hurt?"

"Not really. Those shoes suck though, and I am not climbing out that window. You're going to have to sneak me out."

"Okay," Haley said disappointed. Nathan clearly was not happy to be there and was already looking to leave. "Will you at least stay a while?"

Nathan chuckled at her and gestured for her to join him on the bed. Once she took a seat next to him, he put his arm around her and realized just how tense she was. "Hey…Did you really think I climbed in here just for a few minutes? Just to tell you what happened and then leave?" He watched as a smile crept across Haley's face. God, he loved that smile, and loved how he might be the reason for it. "Not a chance. Especially not with you wearing my old football t-shirt."

"You noticed?" Haley asked proudly.

"Yeah, although you can probably throw that one out. We're back to basketball these days, Hales."

"Well, maybe if you gave me some new ones, I'd switch, but I'll never throw this one out!" Haley declared. "So, how long did you want to stay?" Haley asked as she snuggled up to him.

"I thought maybe I could spend the night? And sneak out early?"

Haley put her hand to Nathan's face and pulled him towards her so she could give him her answer in a kiss. When she pulled away, she looked deep into his eyes and saw he was shaken up. He still hadn't told her what happened and she was afraid to ask. She knew it was selfish, but all she wanted right now was to be with Nathan; to feel his arms around her like she had been craving all night, starting when Damien had taunted her. "Will you hold me? I really need you to just hold me for a while."

Nathan knew she needed him and the truth was he needed her that way too. "Only if you'll hold me back."

* * *

Haley checked the time on her new cell phone for what felt like the hundredth time since they got in the car to head back home from Florida. The new cell phone was a Christmas present from Nathan, with her parents agreeing to split the monthly bill with her as part of their present to her. In addition, Nathan had also given her a few more of his Raven t-shirts, all with his name and number printed on the back. In return, Haley had given him a ticket to a Bobcats game, and she planned on giving the other one to Lucas. They had exchanged presents right before the James left, at Nathan's behest since he wanted Haley to be able to stay in touch her while they were apart. It was only for a few days, five to be exact, but the phone calls had only gone so far, and Haley longed to actually _see Nathan_, to be able to _touch him_ and for _him to touch her_. She closed her eyes and relaxed realizing it would only be about thirty minutes until that happened.

She loved her family and had a great holiday, having lots of fun with her nieces and nephews, however, knowing that Nathan would be waiting for her when she got home was far more enticing. She had her mother to thank her for that, as it was Lydia who had finally convinced Jimmy to let Nathan stay with them when they returned.

Much to Haley's surprise, Nathan and his own father had seemed to reach some type of understanding. It had happened after the night Nathan had forced his father to deal with Rachel when she was going through one of her episodes. They both weren't sure what happened after Nathan left that night, but Dan hadn't given Nathan a hard time since and he had ended up agreeing Deb's joint custody agreement. Then, when Nathan realized he would be forced to spend one night with his father before the James' returned home, he seemed okay with that and had even agreed to see his father on Christmas Eve, as a precursor to spending time alone with him.

As they pulled into the driveway, it was all Haley could do the keep from running inside the house to see Nathan. He had been given a key to the house after the James' had asked him to watch after their old tabby cat while they were away. Knowing they wouldn't be back until late at night, Lydia had suggested he get settled in following his basketball game. He had obviously done so, as lights were on in the house and his car was parked in the driveway. Haley reluctantly began helping to unload the car just as Nathan came out to help them. As soon as she saw him, Haley dropped everything and pounced on him.

"Miss me much?" Nathan teased her.

"Oh shut up! You called me, like, five times today!" Haley defended herself.

Jimmy walked past them, eyeing them carefully, as he headed towards the house. "We have to set some ground rules here. I'll see you two in the kitchen."

Haley was able to shrug off the serious tone of her father. All she cared about was that Nathan would be staying under the same roof as her for the next five nights! Her father could set any rules he wanted, as long as that fact didn't change.

Nathan, on the other hand, felt a pit forming in his stomach. Haley had told him all about Taylor's problems and now, more than ever, he was able to see a change in the way Mr. James treated him. Before, he had always teased them about liking each other and he had never hesitated to ask Nathan to watch out for Haley or to drive her to school. He had trusted him. Now, it seemed to be the opposite, as Nathan felt Mr. James viewed him as the person Haley needed to be protected from.

Nathan had talked this over with Haley before, and then again when her parents agreed to let him stay with them, and Haley was able to slightly quell his fears. She had suggested that it wasn't Nathan personally that troubled her father, it more the idea of his youngest daughter, the baby of the family, growing up. Then, there were all of Taylor's woes. It had definitely taken a toll on him and in a different way than it had with Lydia. He hadn't said much about the whole thing but Haley had pinpointed Taylor's first pregnancy scare as the point in which her father started to become more protective of her. Then, with Taylor's miscarriage, he had become downright overprotective, in Haley's opinion, especially compared to how carefree he had been before.

Nathan and Haley filled their arms with assortments of presents and duffel bags and headed inside. They left everything on the couch and headed in to find Jimmy sitting at the kitchen table. Lydia, meanwhile, was on the phone.

"Is everything okay?" Haley asked, watching her mother leave the room to finish the conversation in private.

"She's talking to your Uncle Lloyd. She's just making sure Grams is all set for tomorrow," Jimmy explained.

"What time does she go in?" Nathan asked.

"She has to go in at nine but the surgery isn't until eleven."

"It's nothing to be worried about, Dad, right?" Haley asked biting her lip.

"She'll be fine. There just putting in a cardiac stent. If everything goes well, it'll only be an overnight stay."

"What's a stent for?" Nathan asked.

"She has a blockage in one of her arteries and they put in the stent there, which is like a tube, along with a balloon, to expand the artery so the blood can keep moving through. It shouldn't be a problem," Jimmy said assuredly.

"Mom looks worried," Haley noted.

"She is." Jimmy agreed. "It's her mother, but we made sure to be here and it's really a good thing they caught this now. Let's just all be sure to be on our best behavior over the next few days, huh?"

Nathan began to feel a wave of guilt rush through him. This was obviously not the best time to be staying with them. He hated the idea of being an added stress during an already difficult time.

"If you think I should leave, Mr. James, I can always go back with my dad," Nathan cautiously offered. He saw Haley glaring at him out of the corner of his eye as he continued. "I don't want to be a bother to you."

"I think that would upset Lydia. It seems she wants you here," Jimmy noted. "Let's just get to the rules, okay?" Nathan looked Jimmy in the eye and nodded. "You are staying in Zach's room, as I'm sure you already know. Let me say that again so everyone," he said looking at both of them, "understands. _Zach's room, not any other room_."

"Not a problem. I wouldn't—" Nathan began.

"Nuh-uh. Don't go there, Nathan. I was your age once too, you know and that window is not as easy to climb as you think, huh?" Nathan looked guilty down at his hands as Jimmy continued. "Second rule, we all sleep with our bedroom doors open to be sure the first rule is being followed. Next, curfew is at ten p.m.—"

"But, Dad! We're on school break!" Haley whined. She'd only started having a curfew once she started dating Nathan and wasn't quite comfortable with the concept yet, but this seem way too early for the next couple of nights.

"Don't start with me, Haley," Jimmy warned his daughter.

"But, Dad, there's a New Year's Eve party at Peyton's and Mom knows. We have to stay past midnight!" Haley pleaded.

"We'll see how things go," Jimmy reluctantly agreed. "Either way, there is to be _no drinking_, with or without this party."

"There won't be drinking there anyway," Haley said quickly. Nathan shot her a curious glance, shocked at her blatant lie.

Jimmy noticed the exchange and scoffed. "Right. Nathan, promise me, no drinking."

"I won't. Not a drop," Nathan said sincerely.

"Okay. Lastly, anything, and I mean ANYTHING, my wife wants you to do, _you do_, no questions asked." Nathan nodded and Jimmy looked squarely at Haley. "That's for both of you."

Haley rolled her eyes, at which point Nathan elbowed her. "Hey!" she said rubbing her elbow. "I get it, Dad, but really? I don't need to be told that. I want to help Mom out as much as I can. You know I'm not—"

"Taylor. _I know, Haley_." Jimmy stood up, walked over and squeezed his daughter's shoulders. He then bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I do know that, Haley," he repeated softly.

* * *

The next morning, Nathan woke up with a start, unsure of where he was. As he slowly reached a conscious state, he remembered that he was at the James' house. He listened carefully and was able to tell that there were people moving around on the first floor. He looked at the clock and realized it was only seven a.m. and seriously contemplated going to back to sleep.

The last several days had been long ones, to say the least. At his grandparents urging, he had spent Christmas Eve with them and his father at the beach house. That actually hadn't been too bad as Dan had been on his best behavior. Mae had cooked up a big meal and then they'd exchanged presents. Nathan had a feeling that his grandmother had purchased most of the presents that were supposedly from his father, with the exception of the golf clubs. Dan was a skilled golfer and seemed to revel in beating Nathan out on the course. It definitely seemed like a Dan-type gift. In the end, Nathan had able to stomach his father in small doses, but was extremely grateful not to be forced to spend the remainder of the holiday season with him. Dan was pissed about Nathan leaving to go with the James, but accepted it nonetheless; Nathan surmised it was most likely at the advice of his lawyer.

On the other hand, Christmas with his mom and Rachel had been a complete disaster. Rachel clearly didn't want to be spending time with her mother and seemed determined to ignore Nathan. Then, when they'd joined his grandparents, Keith, Karen, Lucas and Lily for dinner, she'd thrown what Nathan could only sufficiently describe as a 'temper tantrum.' He wasn't even sure what it was about, but it was embarrassing for everyone who had to witness it. In the end, Deb ended up leaving early with Rachel, while Nathan stayed behind enjoying the rest of the holiday with the other Scotts.

Over the past few days, Nathan had at least been able to keep busy with basketball. They were a month into the season now and luckily the incident at Tric hadn't seem to have any ramifications other than a few tense encounters with Damien, but even that seemed to pass as the two varsity athletes were able to keep their personal problems off the court. Now there was just awkwardness and that was something Nathan could deal with. For a while Nathan, and Haley too for that matter, had been on pins and needles waiting for something to happen. Nathan had finally accepted that if anything was going to happen it would be _after the season was over_ because the truth was that _Damien needed Nathan during the season_. It wouldn't make sense for him, or someone of the likes of Daunte, to attack him in midst of the season which would effectively end any chance of the Ravens being scouted at all.

As far as Daunte's initial threat to Nathan about helping Damien drive up his stats, well, Nathan was still trying to figure out that one. The team was off to a great start, undefeated in fact, and that seemed to help matters. Dan hadn't said a word to him about basketball or Damien or Daunte, which was also a good sign. In fact, he wasn't even sure if his father knew about how he had punched Damien since he never said anything about it. In the end, Nathan figured as long as they were winning, that should be good enough for everyone and that was what would get the scouts there in the first place.

There were still some minor issues that needed to be worked out on the court though. A clique had formed on the team, and Nathan could tell that Damien was beginning to grow aggravated with that. It was even more prevalent with the addition of Skills, who had grown up playing basketball with Lucas, and thus always gravitated toward him with it came to assists. Now, when plays were to be made, Damien was often the one left out, except when Mr. West attended a game. He didn't attend many, but when he did, Lucas, who was privy to Nathan's predicament, helped Nathan get his assists to Damien. Still, that didn't help Damien's problem with free-throws, which was something he had always struggled with. There was nothing Nathan could do about that and Damien always made himself look bad in those cases, as he missed shot after shot.

When Nathan didn't have practices or games and in his free time, he hung out with Lucas or Jake. He still was only spending time with Damien and Tim when necessary. That did happen, from time to time, at team dinners and school functions, but Nathan had made it a point not to go to any parties, using his mother as his excuse. Damien wasn't fooled, however, and had continued to taunt him after games about going to the parties, and he always seemed to be able to work Haley into those conversations. This left Nathan infuriated and even more determined not to go. Still, he had been working on harnessing his anger and so far, he'd been able to do that. He figured as long as he stayed away from alcohol when he was around Damien, he'd be fine. He knew it was when he drank, especially when it was hard liquor, that his anger was uncontrollable.

Remembering that everyone was probably up early due to Gram's surgery, Nathan decided it was best to get up as well. He sleepily stumbled out of the room and headed down to the kitchen. In the kitchen, he found Haley sitting at the kitchen table eating bowl of cereal, next to Jimmy who was reading the newspaper. Lydia was busy emptying the dishwasher. All three of them looked up as Nathan joined them but only greeted him with silence. Nathan lazily rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on his surroundings. He wasn't sure, but he could swear something was off judging by the curious faces.

"Morning. How's everything going?" Nathan mumbled, stifling a yawn. He quickly noticed Haley's face turning red as she began to focus intently on the bowl of cereal in front of her. Jimmy loudly ruffled his newspaper and held it up to block his view of Nathan. Extremely confused, Nathan looked to Lydia.

"_Really, Nathan_?" Lydia asked looking him up and down. Nathan followed her glance and quickly felt his own cheeks heating up as he realized he was only in his boxers. Embarrassed beyond belief that he hadn't given a second thought to putting on more clothes, he fled the kitchen. Halfway up the stairs, he heard Lydia call out to him. "And put on a shirt, too!"

Nathan returned a few minutes later, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "So how can I help today?" Nathan asked, trying to redeem himself.

"Well, I'm heading to pick up Grams soon and then I'm planning on sticking around there. Jimmy's off to work and, Haley, you have to work too?" Lydia looked at her daughter to confirm her schedule.

"Only until three. I want to see Grams, though. You think I could go by when I get out?" Haley asked.

"You think you could give her a ride, Nate?" Lydia turned to Nathan.

"Yeah, my practice gets out at two, so I can head over to the café then," Nathan offered. "Anything else?"

Lydia walked over and patted Nathan gently on the back. "That'll do," she said softly. Nathan could tell that Haley was right and that Lydia was nervous. At least now, he felt like he was able to do something, like he was a little more of a help than a burden, just by doing something simple like giving Haley a ride.

* * *

Haley quietly stepped into her brother's Zach's old room and gently closed the door. She had already checked in on her parents, who appeared to be in a deep sleep. As she reached Nathan's bed, she was surprised he wasn't stirring. She knew he was a very light sleeper, most likely a product of having to watch over Rachel growing up. Haley gently took a seat on the side of the bed and took a long look at him. He was lying on his stomach with his arms tucked underneath the pillow. He was lightly snoring which caused Haley to softly snicker. There was no doubt that he was in the deep stages of sleep and Haley contemplated leaving altogether. Then she took a look at his bare back and subconsciously licked her lips. There was no way she could leave now. She hated how the fact that they were spending the night under the same room seemed to be _working against them_. They had no privacy and thus far, she hadn't had any alone time with Nathan. It had been far too long, in her opinion since they kissed each other; since they touched each other. She reached over and began lightly stroking him.

Nathan slowly opened his eyes and smiled at the sight of Haley. He let her continue to run her fingers up and down his back for a few more minutes before spring up in an alarmed state.

"What are you doing here?" Nathan asked in a severe, but hushed, tone.

"I wanted to see you."

"You have to leave! Your parents would kill me!"

"They're sound asleep," Haley assured him. "So were you by the way. I've been here for a couple of minutes."

"I know. I can't remember the last time I slept so well," Nathan admitted. There was definitely something about the James home that allowed him to feel safe and relaxed. It had always been that way, but he felt it now more than ever. "Still, Hales, you're parents are trusting me here. I can't risk them finding us like this."

"They're not going to find out. We'll be real quiet." Before he could argue, Haley lifted up the covers and climbed in the bed with him.

Nathan's body began to stiffen as he pushed over. He wasn't sure what Haley's intentions were, but he certainly wasn't planning on letting her stay long. There was no denying her at the moment, however, as she pressed up against him and began running her hand over his chest.

Nathan moved his hands along her back and then shifted them to back up to her head, running them through her hair, as she began to kiss him. Both their bodies began to heat up as they pressed into each other, rolling onto their sides. Haley forcefully thrust her tongue into his mouth as their hands began exploring each other. Their lips moved frantically as if neither one could get enough of the other. As Nathan's hands came to stop on Haley's ass, he gave her a slight tug towards him and she let out a moan as her body came into contact with his hardness.

Thinking of the conversations she had with Taylor and Quinn at Christmastime, Haley moved her hands in between them, as she continued to kiss him. She reached down and softly began to feel his hardness.

Nathan immediately pulled back, surprised. "What are you doing?"

Haley felt her cheeks began to redden as she tried to stammer through an explanation. "I just …I thought…I wanted to…Isn't this…I don't know." Haley pulled her hand away and buried her face in his chest.

"Haley, it isn't…it's not that I don't want that…" Nathan shifted up and took her with him, determined to looking into her eyes. "We can't do this now. I can't risk what I have going with your family."

"I feel so embarrassed," Haley admitted looking away.

"Don't," Nathan said turning her face back to his. "It's just me, Hales, and believe me when I tell you that _I want you_. That's not the problem."

Haley began to flush at his words. She then began to worry that maybe he had misunderstood her intentions. "I'm not ready to sleep with you," Haley blurted out causing Nathan to laugh.

"I know that." Nathan then began to worry that she had misunderstood his intentions. "I didn't mean that. I don't want to pressure you."

"So you don't want to?"

Nathan began to feel uneasy. It was true that he didn't want to pressure her, but he didn't want to lie to her either. "Well, I do, but not now. Not like this, and not until you're ready," he said brushing her hair away from her face.

"Well I'm ready to do some other things, just not…"

"Sex. Yeah, I get that," Nathan smiled. "Not now though, Haley. Not when your parents took me in, and I'm in your brother's room, and the door is open."

"I pushed the door shut!"

"Still…"

"I know," Haley reluctantly agreed. "But when? When are we going to be able to be alone? My parents are all over me! You see that, right?"

"It's not like your making it easy on them."

Haley sat upright and looked at Nathan in disbelief. She felt like Nathan was reprimanding her.

"You know you lied to them about the New Year's party, right?" Nathan continued. This had been eating away at Nathan and felt determined to address it.

"They wouldn't let me go if they knew there would be alcohol there!" Haley said indignantly.

"So you lied? Haley, if your parents don't want you to go, then you probably shouldn't go."

"Oh, like _you listen to your parents_? How come _you get to do whatever you want_ but I'm the one who needs to be the _perfect child_?" Haley challenged him.

"You can't compare your parents to mine! And for the record, if I had to chose, I'd take yours any day of the week!" Haley felt a twinge of guilt as she was remind of his difficulties with his parents. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

"I know you're right. I just hate how they don't trust me."

"Then you can't start lying to them, Haley. Then, they'll never trust you. With all that's going on now, your dad's right. We need to be there for your mom."

Haley began to think of their visit with her grandmother that evening. The surgery had technically gone fine, but the doctors weren't convinced she would be ready to come home as scheduled. Grams had a fever and the doctors had feared there might be an infection where the stent was put in. They were already talking about keeping her an extra night and possibly removing the stent altogether and that had concerned all of them. "Did you see how old my grandmother looked?"

"I thought that too, but then again I hadn't seen her in a while." Nathan thought back and remembered seeing Grams at one of Haley's birthday parties a few years ago. She had been sitting on the recliner, bouncing Haley's nephew, Johnny, on her knee. It was such a far cry from the sickly women he'd seen bandaged up and hooked up to an IV. He had never seen anyone in the hospital like that, so he had hoped that it was just that new experience that bothered him.

"She's aged so much recently. I hope she gets to go home tomorrow," Haley sighed. She looked at the clock and decided it was time to leave considering she had a long shift at the café starting in the morning. She got up to leave but turned around as she realized Nathan was up too.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He smiled at her as he opened his arms. Haley wrapped herself around him, closing her eyes as he squeezed her tight. This was it, she realized. This feeling was the one she had been chasing. He had just a way of making her feel so safe, so loved, and that was exactly what she needed.

"Thank you," Haley whispered, squeezing him back. After a minute, they broke away and kissed softly.

"We will get our alone time, Hales. I promise you that," Nathan with a smirk that began to stir some tingling feelings in Haley. "I'll make it happen."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Haley purred back at him.

"Get out of here before you get me into trouble, troublemaker." Nathan walked her to the door and watched until she went back to her room. He knew he was right and wanted to stay on good terms with the James, but at the same time he couldn't help the hormones that Haley unleashed when she touched him like that. He crawled back into bed and thought back to his own parents and how they made him feel. It definitely wasn't safe and relaxed. If this was the place he wanted to be, then he was just going to have to not risk seeing Haley like that again in the middle of the night and as much as his body was fighting him, he could not let her touch her like that. He could already feel his self-control waning as he tried to fall back asleep, with images of Haley floating around in his mind, knowing full well that she was just down the hall…

* * *

Haley was taken by surprise when she returned from the kitchen to find Nathan sitting om one of the café stools at the counter engaged in a serious conversation with Karen. She began to get nervous as she felt their eyes follow her as she delivered two pieces of pie to a set of customers. A knot formed in her stomach as walked over to Nathan, who was now standing. His blue eyes were blazing and intense as he stood there speechless.

"What is it?" Haley reluctantly asked. Tears sprung to her eyes, already knowing in her heart that something was seriously wrong.

"Haley, why don't you and Nathan go outside? Everything's under control here and Lucas will be here soon with Lily." Karen looked sternly at Nathan, as if trying to sending him a silent message. "If you need to leave…"

"Okay, thanks." Nathan waited for Haley to put on her jacket and then took her hand leading her outside. As soon as they were outside, they stopped and face each other.

Nathan felt like he was at a loss for words. It was bad enough being there when Lydia got the call, but now, having to be the one to tell Haley…it was just something he didn't want to do. There was no other choice though as this was surely something nobody wanted to go through.

"Don't tell me," Haley said bursting into tears.

"Haley…" Nathan put his hand directly on her cheek, his thumb trying to push away the tears that were streaming down her face. He moved his other hand to her shoulder and pulled her slightly closer. He took a deep breath and summoned all of his inner courage. "Grams had a stroke," his voice cracked.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Strong Enough" (Sheryl Crow)

AN: So the next chapter is the longest one yet! I ended up rearranging some things for thematic purposes between this chapter and the next one. It just made more sense to me to keep all Gram things together. Thus, the next chapter is all about Grams, with some other key scenes sprinkled in that I think you will enjoy. I know that probably came out of nowhere, but that is life for you...Sadly these things happen.

I want you to know that I hate what I am writing now because I really think you are going to hate me when you finally read it. It is pouring out of me, but I really don't like it. So what I'm doing, to step away from the intensity of what I'm writing, is going back and editing some of my old work at the same time. Just so you know, I'm not changing any key details. I'm just fixing typos, word choice and some grammar mistakes. Also, if you have any requests for any Naley milestones you'd like to read, let me know! I'm pretty sure I hit all of the obvious ones over the next bunch of chapters, but I'd hate to miss something you were looking forward to! I can always do scene extensions or deleted scenes or add them in to what I've already written…I just need to take breaks from the darkness that surrounds the prologue, so I welcome the chance to write some good, positive Naley stuff as long as it fits in the context of the story and the characters! Also, to those of you that read the Lydia/Nathan deleted scene from 26, you will see the payoff in the next chapter (I only gave the link to those that asked me). If you didn't, I don't think you missed anything pertinent since I wrote the 29 scene first and the 26 one after.

So happy reading!….We are still seeing Naley growing and finding their footing as a solid couple. Much more of that to come before…well, bad things start happening….Please let me know what you think. It keeps me going! Thank you to those that reviewed the last chapter and I look forward to more of them!


	30. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 29: "Strong Enough" (Sheryl Crow)

"No!" Haley shook her head vehemently and as she let Nathan's hands guide her to his chest. She buried herself there and tried not to hear the words coming out of Nathan.

"It just happened a little while ago…The good news was that it happened when Grams was in the hospital and they knew what to do. I guess that the problem with strokes; you have catch them right away and they did that….So, your mom's gone over there now and I can take you if you want," he offered as he rubbed her back. Nathan closed his eyes, trying to choke back the tears he felt forming at the back of his eyes as he felt Haley sobbing in his arms.

They both quickly pulled away as Nathan's cell phone began to ring. Haley wiped her tears away and carefully watched Nathan.

"Yeah, she's with me right now. We were just about to head over." Haley watched as his eyes met hers and then he turned away, as if to shield her from what he was hearing. "Okay. I'll have my phone on me if something changes. Bye." Nathan slipped the phone back into his pocket. He turned to Haley, his face paler than before.

"That was your dad. He doesn't think it's a good idea if we head over right now," Nathan said.

"Where is he?"

"On his way to the hospital. I'm so sorry, Hales." Nathan reached over and took her hand.

"Did he say how she was?"

"He said your mom was talking to one of the doctors, but they were waiting for the neurologist to come in. Your aunt and uncles are there, too."

"I need to call Vivian." If Haley couldn't talk to her mother, she wanted to talk to her oldest sister.

"Here." Nathan gave her his phone. "You want me to take you home?"

Haley thought about this for a moment. Everything seemed so hazy to her and she had trouble focusing on a single thing with her racing mind. She thought of home and realized no one was there. She looked back at the café and saw Karen busy serving customers. She looked down the street and could already see Lucas off in the distance heading towards them, pushing Lily in her stroller. This really wasn't a tough decision after all. "No. I want to stay here for now."

Nathan pulled her back into his arms as Haley began to sob again. "Shhh…I'm here."

"Stay with me?" Haley choked out through her sobs.

"I'm not going anywhere." Nathan kissed the side of her head and pulled away and looked into her eyes, letting her know how serious he was. When he did, his eyes filled up with tears as he let her fears and sadness creep into his heart. This seemed to make things worse for Haley, as her shoulders began to heave and her tears started to flow more freely.

Both of them eventually looked up and brushed away their tears with arrival of Lucas and Lily.

"Hey, my mom called me," Lucas explained awkwardly. "How are you doing?" Lucas asked looking sympathetically at Haley. "Stupid question, sorry."

"I'll be okay," Haley answered meekly. "I was just going to call my sister."

"Well, I'm going to give my mom a hand for the evening rush so don't worry about the café."

"I think we're going to stick around for a while. Want us to take Lily?" Nathan leaned down and started playing with Lily, who was bundled up in a winter coat and knitted hat. It was a little on the warmer side for a January day in North Carolina and the winter thaw hadn't settled in yet, so he thought a walk might be a nice distraction for all of them. "We can take her for a short walk."

"You sure?" Lucas asked hesitantly looking at Haley.

"Definitely," Haley nodded. Haley and Lucas then looked curiously at Nathan who was taking Lily out of the shoulder.

"What?" Nathan asked defensively as he stood up with Lily in his arms. "She wanted me to hold her. I can carry her on the walk."

"Sure, you can. You just better take her bag." Lucas smiled at Haley as he shoved Lily's pink flowered diaper bag at Nathan. As bad she felt, Haley couldn't help sharing a smile with Lucas as Nathan flung the bag over his shoulder. They headed off down the street, Nathan intentionally walking slightly head of Haley, giving her some privacy to make her call, as he pointed out various things along the street to a wide-eyed and responsive Lily.

Haley took a deep breath and dialed Vivian's number. They talked for a while and Haley was grateful to learn that Vivian had talked to her mother and that her grandmother was stable and slightly responsive. At this point, all of her siblings were going to stay put, but remain close in touch. Haley assured her that was fine, as both she and Nathan were there for her mom and would call if they needed them.

When she hung up with Vivian, she called Taylor. It was a good thing too, because it turned out that Taylor had been calling her cell phone and panicked when she couldn't get in touch with her. Haley had to explain that her cell phone was shut off and back at the café. They talked for a few more minutes with Haley convincing her things seemed fine with Grams for now. When Taylor started teasing her about testing out the tips she and Quinn had given her about being intimate with Nathan, Haley decided it was time to end the conversation. She hung up the phone and caught up to Nathan. After a little cajoling, she convinced Nathan to let her take Lily but was content to let him continue to carry the diaper bag. It had been a horrible day and things might not get better for a while, but Haley was sure Nathan was her saving grace and that was one thing she felt good about.

* * *

Nathan woke up after hearing a quiet sob and footsteps walking past his room and down the stairs. He sat up and after a few minutes of contemplation, he decided that considering what was going on, Haley's parents probably wouldn't mind if they caught the two of them talking in the middle of the night, as long as it wasn't in one of the bedrooms.

He quietly crept down the stairs and stumbled into the kitchen. He was taken aback at the sight of Lydia, standing at the stove with her back to him, shutting off a kettle of tea. He tried to sneak out of the kitchen, but Lydia was too quick for him as she spun around and spotted him.

"Nathan! You scared me half to death!" Lydia said placing her hand over her heart.

"Sorry, Mrs. James," Nathan said sheepishly. "I'm just going to head back up to bed."

"Why don't you join me? Cup of tea?"

Nathan took one look at her and knew she'd been crying. "Maybe I'll grab a glass of water instead?"

Lydia grabbed a glass from the cupboard as Nathan got some water from the fridge. The two of them sat in silence until Lydia was done fixing her tea.

"Thank you for being so good to us, Nathan. I know it hasn't been easy staying here these past couple of days."

"I'm the one who needs to be thanking you. Do you have any idea how much it means to me that you let me stay here?" Nathan asked earnestly.

Lydia reached over and took Nathan's hand and squeezed it. "You know you're like one of the family, Nathan."

"I feel like that," Nathan said softy.

The smiled at each other as Lydia pulled back and took a sip of her tea and looked curiously at Nathan. "You know I've been rooting for you, right?" Lydia asked with a sly smile.

"I had a feeling." Nathan thought for a minute and his thoughts wandering back to the time when he and Haley hadn't been on speaking terms. "There's just one thing I wondered about." Lydia nodded for him to continue. "Haley told me it was your idea to get me a CD for my birthday last year."

"Did it piss you off?" Lydia asked with a bright smile. Nathan nodded. "Good. It was supposed to. I love you, Nate, but you were being an ass and needed a wakeup call!"

They both laughed heartily. "No one gives you enough credit," Nathan complimented her on her wisdom.

"Well you tell them, Nathan! You can start with my brother, Lloyd," Lydia said sourly.

Nathan began to worry as he wondered what brought her down here in the middle of the night. "Is everything okay? Did something happen?"

"No, it's all the same. We're looking at rehab places and having some trouble agreeing on a place. You know, I'm one of four, and the youngest, Nathan, but sometimes I feel like…" Lydia trailed off biting her lip.

"You're the one everyone looks to?" Nathan offered. From what he saw of Haley's family over the years, he knew it was true. Lydia always seemed to be the one driving Grams around, cleaning her house, doing her food orders and taking her to various appointments. He assumed it had been that way ever since Lydia's father had died.

Lydia's deep sigh let Nathan know that was the way she felt. "Now, when it's time to make these tough decisions, all of a sudden _everyone has an opinion_. I just want what's best for my mother and I don't care how far the drive is. If the best place is in Charlotte, so be it."

"Isn't that where Lloyd lives?" Nathan asked confused.

"Yup," Lydia rolled her eyes. "That's the problem. Then it means he'll actually have to pitch in more," she said dryly.

"What about Larry and Lisa?" Nathan asked referring to Lydia's other siblings.

"I don't know. They're torn. They have families and live closer to here. They want to talk more to the doctor."

"I'm sure it will all work out. And if you need to go to Charlotte, I can help out around here. I can give Haley rides and help out around here," Nathan looked around the room, "and if you need me to stay here, I can do that too," he said casually.

Lydia laughed. "Well you'd just move in here if I let you, huh?" Nathan smiled. "Aren't things better with your mom?"

"Yeah, she's doing well, but she's getting joint custody of Rachel…" Nathan remembered Lydia's fondness for Rachel and decided it was probably best to keep his sister out of this. "It's just easier here."

"Well, you can come over anytime, Nathan, but you know…. your mom… I'm sure….she…needs… you… right now." The last sets of words seem to get caught in Lydia's throat as she sputtered them out, tears filling her eyes. Lydia buried her head in her hands and hunched over, launching into a full sob.

Nathan sat there unsure of what to do. He had never seen Lydia like that before; he'd actually never seen an adult like that before. Very slowly, Nathan got up and walked over and put his hand on Lydia's back in a show of support. Lydia continued to cry for a few more minutes, letting everything out. When Nathan sensed she was starting to feel better, he handed her some tissues. Lydia wiped her faced and stood up and took a long look at Nathan.

Nathan couldn't deny the effect Lydia had on him. They had a connection and in that moment were bonding in a way he imagined he have bonded with his own mother. He knew his mother loved him, but they had never really shared an emotional connection like the one he was having with Lydia in that moment. Lydia opened her arms and they embraced in a tight hug.

"I've made such a mess of myself," Lydia apologized as she pulled away. "I'm so sorry you had to see me like this."

"No, it's nothing. Everyone's going through a lot right now."

"How's my Haley Bob?" Lydia as she fully regained her composure.

"She's okay. She was happy your mom recognized her."

"Her speech is a little slurred, but she definitely knew her. You know who's taking this hard?" Nathan shook his head, trying to remember the people he'd seen at the hospital when he took Haley to visit. "Jimmy. I know he's not her mother, but they're pretty close," Lydia gave him a brief, knowing look. "So he broke down tonight when we got home and I just think it set me off. I didn't want him to see me like this. Bet you didn't think you'd get all this when you got up for drink of water, huh?"

"It's really okay, Mrs. James."

"You're such a good kid, but you know I hate it when you call me that."

"I can't call you anything else. I just can't do it." The only thing he could liken it to was how he sometimes called his father "Dan," since he had such little respect for him. He couldn't do the same with her, even though he knew she preferred Lydia.

"Fine," Lydia playfully scolded him. "You know, Nathan, I have two sons that went off to college; one in Florida and the other in Texas. Then, I have my son-in-law John, but he's kind of a nerd," Lydia rolled her eyes and smiled. Nathan couldn't help but wonder where she was going with this. "Then, I suppose David will be my son-in-law some day, but you know, Nathan, right now when it counts, you're the one who feels like my son."

Nathan was touched beyond words as he felt tears creeping into his eyes. He pushed them back, not wanting to upset her like Jimmy had earlier. He cleared his throat and tried not let his voice quiver as he spoke. "Well, you've always been like a mom to me," he said seriously. "And I'm only planning on going to Duke and that's only, like, two hours away," Nathan added with a slight smile.

Lydia smiled up at him with a glint in her eye. "Maybe someday we'll make that official, huh, Nate?" She patted him on the shoulder as she headed out of the kitchen. "If you marry my daughter, then you have to call me 'Mom."

Nathan couldn't help but smile at the thought as Lydia headed back up to bed. As he finished his drink, he thought of Jimmy and Lydia and their marriage. They had one of the most solid marriages he had ever seen and he could only hope that he and Haley could emulate that someday. He felt they were on their way to that, but here was something that was starting to bother him.

Nathan had always seen how much Haley was like her mother, but he was now convinced more than ever of their likeness. On the surface, Lydia was the strong one, the one everyone turned to with their problems and she always tried to help everyone. Tonight, he had seen the toll that had taken on Lydia. It amazed him how she felt she needed to be strong for her husband, considering it was her own mother that was ill. _Nathan never wanted Haley to feel that way with him_. He remembered how Haley had cried even harder when he himself shed a few tears and he vowed not to let that happen again. _He wanted to be the strong one in their relationship, the person she could always depend on_. There was no doubt that Haley would continue to be the person she was and try to help everyone she met. Heck, she would probably the sibling everyone depended on one day just like Lydia was. Still, he didn't want Haley to have to hide her feelings from him, they way Lydia had to, sneaking downstairs to have a good cry in the middle of the night.

As Nathan went to back to sleep that night, he was feeling good about the direction of his and Haley's relationship and his place in the James family. In some ways it all seemed like a dream to him and he feared he would wake up one day to find it all gone. By this time next week, he would be back home, living with his mom and of course Rachel at times, and he would have to see his dad at games. But, as the past couple of days had proven, no one could predict the future and Nathan took comfort in enjoying the next two days for what it was; time with the family he always craved and hoped to be truly be a part of some day.

* * *

Haley snuggled up to Nathan as they settled in on the couch to watch a movie on New Year's Eve. Her parents were settled in the same type of position, but on the loveseat. Both couples were tired after a hectic day with visits to the hospital along with their normal routines. Nathan had a basketball practice and although Haley didn't have a scheduled shift, she'd ended up at the café nonetheless; it had become a second home to her over the past year. Jimmy worked a half a day and Lydia had spent the morning on the phone before heading over to the hospital. Everyone was in good spirits though, as the doctor's had given Grams a good prognosis and Lydia and her siblings had finally all agreed on a rehab facility in Charlotte. Grams was ready to be moved and now they were just waiting for a bed to open up. The doctors anticipated only a two week stay before Grams could return home and begin outpatient therapy to fully regain use of the right side of her body.

"What are we watching?" Nathan asked as Jimmy fast forwarded through the previews. Haley and Jimmy had been discussing the movie selection earlier, but Nathan wasn't sure what they had settled on. The plans were to unwind watching the movie before heading out to the New Year's party at Peyton's. Jimmy and Lydia were also planning on heading out to attend a neighborhood party at their friend Marion's house.

"_It's a Wonderful Life!_" Haley smiled at her father. "We usually watch it on Christmas Eve, but we didn't get a chance this year."

"How many traditions do the James' have?" Nathan joked.

"You have no idea," Jimmy said rolling his eyes. "Don't fight it, Nathan. I just do what they tell me to."

Haley gave Nathan a smug look, as he shook his head at her. She was encouraged that her father had made a reference like that, likening himself to Nathan, and hoped it was sign that her father was finally loosening up about their relationship.

Sometime later, as the movie drew to a conclusion, both couples seemed reluctant to move. Jimmy used the remote to stop the movie and silence fell over the room as they remained in place.

Jimmy was the one to finally break the silence. "What time are you two planning to head out? It's already ten."

"Soon," Haley said lazily as Nathan gently stroked her arm. "How about you two?"

Lydia looked at Jimmy with pleading eyes. "You want to bail?" Jimmy asked reading his wife's face.

"Kind of. You?" Lydia asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Jimmy admitted. "They'll understand."

Nathan looked at Haley realizing he really didn't want to head out either. "We could just stay in too, you know?"

All three faces looked at Nathan in surprise.

Haley sat up and shook her head, not wanting him to think he had to give up this party for her. "No, it's okay. Let me just get ready." Haley tried to stand up, but Nathan locked his hands around her waist preventing her from doing so.

"But what if I don't want to go?" Nathan asked tickling her as she tried to get away.

"Okay, okay. Stop it!" Once Nathan loosened his grip on her and Haley looked seriously at him. "You really don't want to go?"

"No, I don't…Let's just hang out with the old folks."

Jimmy promptly threw a pillow at him causing them all to laugh. "Wiseass," he quipped.

"What do you want to do?" Lydia asked looking around.

"We can introduce to another James' tradition. How are you at Uno?" Jimmy asked standing up.

"Yes!" Haley jumped at the mention of the game.

"I can hold my own," Nathan replied standing up as well.

"Good," Jimmy said heading into the kitchen, with everyone trailing behind him. He pulled out the deck of cards and pad of paper from one of the kitchen drawers.

The four of them sat down at the table, with Jimmy and Lydia on one side and Haley and Nathan on the other.

"We used to play this with my parents," Lydia explained. "For years we had them over for Sunday dinner after we got married and then we'd play in teams; always boys versus girls," Lydia said catching Haley's eye.

Haley started to feel excited at the prospect of continuing on the tradition with her and Nathan. She had heard about the games, but didn't remember any of them since they stopped before she was born. "They don't have a chance!" she said holding her mother's gaze.

"You better be as competitive here as you are on the court, Nate," Jimmy warned him.

"Don't worry." Nathan reached over and bumped fists with Jimmy as Lydia began to deal out the cards.

As the time grew nearing to midnight, they were all so immersed in the game, watching the dropping of the ball on tv became a distraction. They scurried to the tv just before midnight, and exchanged hugs, kisses and wishes of a happy new year and then immediately returned to the game. They play for another hour before the contagious series of yawn stretching across the table became too much to ignore.

"So who won?" Nathan asked as they began to wrap up. Lydia had recorded a tally of the loser's scores on the pad of paper and from what he could tell; it had to be pretty close.

"It's not over yet. We'll just keep it going and go back to it some other time," Jimmy explained.

"Unless you wanted to give up? Because if you did, then the girls would win!" Lydia exclaimed proudly.

"No way, we were just letting you take the lead. We'll kick it up next round," Nathan quickly responded.

"Good call, Nathan. We're heading up to bed. Will you two shut the lights off when you head up?" Jimmy asked.

"Sure." Haley gave her father and mother a hug, as Nathan focused on putting some dishes into the dishwasher. When he was finished, he found Lydia waiting to give him a hug. Haley watched them and felt a warmness sweep over her. It was type of feeling she would always remember as she burned the image of them into her memory.

Once Lydia was on her way up the stairs, Haley and Nathan stood looking at each other. They both had wide smiles on their face as Haley slowly walked over to Nathan. Without a word, Haley put her arms around Nathan's neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist. They closed the distance between them with a slow, tender kiss that sent both of their hearts racing.

"That was a nice night, huh?" Nathan whispered in her ear.

"The best."

"Better than last year?" Nathan asked as he thought of their very first kiss.

"That depends," Haley said suggestively. "Are you going to sneak into my room again to make out?"

Nathan laughed at the memory of the previous year in Park City, Utah. "No. I don't need to sneak around with you anymore. I've got you right where I want you now." Nathan gently put his hands on her ass and pulled her towards him.

"Oh yeah?" Haley squealed as she tried in vain to move out of his grip. Nathan shifted his hands to her upper back and pulled her even tighter. They both felt a shift it the air as their bodies pressed up against each others, so close that they could feel the beating of each other's hearts. Haley lifted her head ever so slightly and Nathan's lips came crashing down on hers. A minute later they came up for air when they heard a door shut from upstairs.

"We should do this again." Nathan said as he rested his forehead against Haley's.

"Make out in my kitchen?" Haley laughed.

"No! Celebrate New Year's with your parents. It could be another new tradition."

"We've won you over!" Haley beamed at him.

"It wasn't that hard, Haley," Nathan smiled back. He then spun her around and gave her a light push away. "Okay, let's get to bed now."

"One more kiss?" Haley asked sweetly as she turned back around.

"Okay, but know this; I'm locking my door tonight and I suggest you do the same."

* * *

It was the end of the second week back from the holiday break and the stands were packed at the first home game of the new year. The team had a string of away games, all ending in a resounding victory. Tonight the Ravens were killing their opponent, Groveton, which was a good thing because Nathan was distracted as he kept watching Haley in the stands. He was sure something was wrong. He had first noticed it when Haley hadn't cheered when he made his first slam dunk of the night. He had made sure to make another and then again, he saw no reaction from her; he wasn't even sure she noticed. Then, just before halftime, he watched as Karen took a seat next to her and put her arm her as if she was consoling her.

Nathan was on the edge for the rest of the game. He had tried to sneak out to find Haley during halftime, which is where they met up sometimes, but she hadn't been there and then Damien had caught him waiting for her and given him a hard time about it. For the remainder of the game, Nathan only played half-heartedly and was grateful when the final buzzer sounded. They had won by ten, but Damien was quick to point out it should have been a blowout. They had exchanged words, with Damien flat out accusing Nathan of not giving him enough assists in an attempt to protect his own stats. Nathan in turn, couldn't help but accuse Damien of being jealous that he was slated to break Tree Hill's all-time scoring record. In the end, Nathan decided once their heated argument turned into a shouting match, that this wasn't the best use of his time. He stormed out of the gym, fully realizing that Whitey would be pissed he wasn't there for the post-game breakdown. He didn't really care though, as his priority was to find Haley.

Haley had just finished hugging Brooke and was moving on to Peyton when she spotted Nathan coming out of the locker room still in his uniform. Without thinking, she pushed Peyton away and made a break for Nathan, hurling herself into his arms. Her tears began flowing immediately, leaving Nathan to look at Brooke and Peyton for answers, but both just stood by idly.

When Haley was finally calm enough to speak, she pulled back and looked Nathan in the eye.

"It's Grams. She had a massive heart attack and-she's dying."

Nathan hesitantly left Haley in the care of Brooke and Peyton and ran into the locker room to grab his things, including his car keys. Inside he faced glares of the most of the team, who was sitting around the locker room as Whitey chided them for a poor game. Whitey was just at the part where he was telling them how they needed to play like a team, when he stopped and looked at Nathan.

"Think you'd like to join us, Nathan? We were just talking about what means to be on a team, _team captain_," Whitey said snidely.

Nathan continued to stuff items into his gym bag and slammed his locker shut. "Family emergency." Not waiting for a response, he headed out the gym and off to take Haley home, not feeling a bit guilty. Technically it might not have been the truth, but it was as far he was concerned.

* * *

Haley waited until they were at her house to fully explain everything to Nathan. During the ride home, she had been fending off calls from her siblings, who were all just as upset as her. She was frustrated that they all felt the need to call her to get an update, when the reality was she didn't have anything to share. Grams was moved to a hospital in Charlotte and her parents had taken off when they got the call. Haley was upset her parents hadn't called her to go with them, but she also knew they weren't in a clear state of mind. Still, she hated not being with them and just being an afterthought. Instead, they had called her right as her shift at the café ended and she was about to leave to head to the game. Confused and alone, she decided to head to the game anyway, as the only thing that she wanted was to see Nathan, even if he would be in the midst of a game. She hadn't heard anything since, but she hadn't expected to either, since it was about a four hour drive there and she knew they still had a ways to go. Still, that left her in Tree Hill, with the same ability to get information as her siblings, who were spread out all over the country. All there calls were doing was aggravating her as they reminded her of helpless she felt.

"How bad is it?" Nathan asked as they sat down on her couch.

"Bad," Haley sighed. "She's in ICU and they weren't sure if she would even last long enough for my parents to get there."

"Your dad's driving?"

"Yeah, he didn't want my mom to. I'm not sure what that means about him; if he's staying there or coming home…" As Haley processed her own words, fear crept up inside her at the thought of being alone and dealing with this. "Will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone."

"Sure," Nathan said grateful to be able to help in some way. "I'll call my mom."

An hour later, the two of them were on the couch, Nathan sitting upright with Haley's head resting on his lap. Haley took comfort in his gentle touch as Nathan periodically stroked her hair and arms. They had the tv on, but Haley let Nathan be in charge of the remote and he hadn't been able to settle on any single channel yet. She really wasn't paying attention anyway.

When the phone rang, Haley sprung up and answered it.

"Hello?" She asked nervously.

"It's dad. You okay? How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay. Nathan's here with me. What's going on?"

"We just got here and she's hanging on, but they don't know for how long. They think it could be a few days."

"Is there any chance?"

"No," Jimmy said softly. "The doctors say her heart is just too weak and she can't make it through another surgery."

"Oh," was all Haley could manage to say. She felt Nathan move behind her and she leaned back as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Listen, Haley, I'm going to head back soon and spend the night at home. I want to wrap up some things at work and get some things for your mom. She's here and she can go to your Uncle Lloyd's house if she needs to, but I'm probably going to head back up as soon as I can tomorrow and we can go from there."

"Okay."

"Are you okay right now? I'm sorry we left so suddenly."

"I'm fine," Haley answered, trying to sound fine. "You'll be home soon?"

"As soon as I can. I'm going to get going now. I'll call if something changes. Love you."

"Love you too, Daddy. Bye."

"Bye."

Haley hung up the phone and relayed the conversation to Nathan. She then began to bit her lip nervously as her mind began to race.

"What are you thinking?" Nathan asked reading her.

"I don't want you to go, but my dad won't be back until real late. I really don't want to be alone. I just want you to hold me," Haley said burying her face in his chest.

"So I'll stay."

"My dad will be pissed," Haley said miserably.

"I'll leave before he gets home. We have, what," Nathan said checking the time, "four hours? I'll leave in three hours and forty-five minutes."

"What about your mom?"

Nathan rolled her eyes. "It's all she can do to keep track of Rachel these days. She's not worrying about me; trust me. Plus, it's not like she doesn't know where I am or what's going on. I'll give her a quick call though."

"Okay. Do you mind if I change?"

"Not if you put on one of my t-shirts," Nathan said with a smirk, as he tried to get her to smile.

Haley managed a weak smile as she headed up stairs. After changed into a pair of sweatpants and yes, one of Nathan's shirts, she took a seat on her bed and let the sadness set back in.

Grams was dying. Grams would be dead soon. She'd never see her grandmother again. This was the last grandparent she had left, as her mother's father had died when she was a baby and her father's parents had died before she was born. After this, she wouldn't have any grandparents. Grams wouldn't be at her high school graduation, her college graduation, her wedding…She pushed these unbearable thoughts away as she tried to focus on her immediate future.

Haley turned her thoughts to what would happen next. Her mother would be devastated, that she was sure of. Even her father would be upset, as would all her siblings, especially Lou, who had been named after his grandfather and thus, no secret-Gram's favorite. As the baby of the family, Haley figured everyone would probably forget about her which suited her just fine. She was used to that anyway and that was one of the reasons she had become so close with the Scotts in the first place. It was just as well since she'd never been comfortable with a lot of personal attention. She was more content to fade into the background.

There would be so much going on, as she expected all of her siblings, their spouses and her nieces and nephews would return for the wake and funeral. There would be wake, and then most likely a funeral. Haley had only been to one before, for her neighbor, but that had been a couple of years ago and she didn't remember much of it. She wasn't sure what it would be like, especially for someone so close to you. Things would be so hectic, Haley knew she would get lost in all the craziness and probably wouldn't have much time to think, much unlike right now…

"Haley."

Haley looked up to see Nathan standing in her door way. He grabbed some tissues from her nightstand and handed them to her as he took a seat beside her on the bed.

Haley looked at him curiously as she took the tissues. Only then did she feel the wetness on her cheeks. She took the tissues and began wiping herself, embarrassed that she hadn't even realized she'd been crying.

"You want to talk?" Nathan asked quietly.

"I just feel so bad."

"I think that's normal, Hales."

"It's not just that…I also feel guilty because I'm kind of aggravated with everyone." Nathan flinched at her words. "Not you!" Haley quickly clarified. "It's my brothers and sisters and even my parents, Nathan. How bad is that? With everything their going through and I can't help but be upset with them! I feel like such a bad person."

"You can't think that way, Haley. I mean, look, you're here all by yourself right now. No one can blame you for how you feel."

"They just took off. I would have gone, Nathan. I want to see my grandmother before…" Haley trailed off, fighting back the tears as best she could. "They didn't even ask."

"I could take you."

"You would do that?" Haley was touched by his gesture but didn't want to impose. They were about to head into a touch stretch of games and she knew he'd probably be practicing all weekend.

Nathan gave her a reassuring smile. "Of course I would. We can go tomorrow or Sunday."

"You don't have to. It's a long drive and I know you have practices." Haley said it more for herself than him. She could tell from the look in his eyes he was serious.

"I want to," he assured her. We'll talk to your dad about it and find a good time."

Haley gently stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I'm so lucky to have you. I can't imagine going through this without you."

Nathan shook his head, unable to accept the compliment. This was how it was supposed to be; he was her boyfriend. He was also bothered with all her siblings; no one appeared to be looking out for Haley. "I just want you know I'm here. There's no need for you to come up to your room and cry. You can do that with me." Nathan's thoughts couldn't help but extend back to Lydia and Jimmy with that comment. "_You don't have to be strong for me._"

"I know. I'm just not used to it, I guess. All my life I feel like no one's really noticed me and now…I'm not used to having _one person who's there just for me_."

"Well get used to it because that's what this is."

"I love you so much," Haley gushed as he leaned in and kissed him.

"I love you, too. Let's go downstairs and lie on the couch," Nathan lightly suggested. It would have been easier to just lie on her bed, but Nathan knew she was vulnerable and didn't want her to mistake his intentions.

Within minutes, they were nestled in on the couch, lying on their sides, with Nathan behind Haley. Haley had spread out the afghan, knitted by Grams, over the lower halves of their bodies. With the soft feel of the afghan around her body, as well as Nathan's touch around her body, she felt the most relaxed she had all evening. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine away all the sadness in heart.

* * *

Jimmy opened the front door was greeted with sight of Haley and Nathan fast asleep on the couch. Neither of them stirred as he took a step towards them, his eyes lingering on Haley's hand which was clasped with Nathan's and resting on her waist, with Gram's afghan tucked underneath. He jingled his keys and cleared his throat in an effort to wake them.

Haley's eyes fluttered open first. "Dad!"

She slowly got up and embraced her father while Nathan began to wake up. "How is she?"

"No change," Jimmy said looking over Haley's shoulder and meeting Nathan's eyes.

Nathan stood up and sheepishly looked up at Jimmy. "I'm sorry, Mr. James. I just feel asleep. "

"We both did," Haley added.

"I'll just head home," Nathan said trying to step around Jimmy and Haley. His eyes still half-closed, Nathan promptly stubbed his toe on the coffee table. "Shit!" He began walking around the room, shaking his foot trying to ease the pain.

"You know it's pretty late. Does your mom know you're here, Nathan?" Jimmy asked sternly.

"Yeah. She was going to bed when I called her."

Jimmy sighed. "Why don't you just go up to bed in Zach's room?"

"Are you sure?" Nathan asked, honestly not sure he if had heard him correctly.

"No, I'm just exhausted. Just go before I change my mind," Jimmy mumbled.

Haley gave her father a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Dad."

"Let's try and get some sleep. It's going to be a long couple of days," Jimmy said glumly. "Nathan, are you going to be around?"

"Yes," Nathan answered slowly, hoping it was the right answer.

"Good. I think we could use your help."

* * *

"Haley!"

Haley, who was coming out of her health class, spun around to find Nathan scurrying towards her.

"Is everything okay?" Even though she secretly had her cell phone on in school and she had check it about a million times, the thought did cross her mind that maybe her parents would have contacted Nathan first.

Nathan had taken her to visit Grams yesterday. With a four hour drive each way, they hadn't stayed long, but it was enough time for Haley to say goodbye. It had been heartbreaking, but it had been easier with Nathan by her side. Her parents had stayed behind, with no immediate plans of coming home. She hadn't asked, but Haley had a feeling if she did, her parents would have agreed to let Nathan spend the night. Instead, Nathan and Haley had both been exhausted, getting home well after midnight, and had both just gone home separately and went right to sleep. As Haley thought ahead to the upcoming night, she dreaded the idea of spending the night alone, especially with this tempting sight of Nathan. Even though they had driven in together, she hadn't paid much attention to his appearance, but now she took in the sight of him in his well-fitted jeans, long-sleeve grey shirt, varsity jacket and baseball cap that he was wearing backwards.

"Yeah. I just wanted to let you know I was going to cut out of here for a bit, but I'll be back to pick you up."

"You're going to cut?"

"Yeah. I'm wiped and I want to get a nap in before practice."

"You can't do that!"

"Well I'm going to," Nathan said nonchalantly. "My dad's the guest speaker in my government class and I really don't need to listen to his crap." Nathan looked at her and hesitated leaving her behind. "You want to come?"

"No, I can't."

"Alright." He didn't want to pressure her, but he could feel the tiredness seeping through his veins and knew he needed some rest before practice. "I'll have my cell if something comes up. Catch you later?"

"Okay." Haley turned around and began to head towards her Spanish class. She immediately began to regret her decision. She was tired too and had as perfect as an excuse as any to skip. Sure it was a little out of character, but she longed to feel like a normal teenager without a care in the world.

Haley turned back around and caught up with Nathan. "You know what? Catch me now!" Nathan smiled, putting his arm around her as they headed towards the nearest exit.

* * *

They decided on heading to the beach house, knowing Dan would be busy at the high school.

"So what do you want to do?" Nathan asked cautiously. His whole mood had changed once Haley had decided to join him and he no longer felt tired. In fact, he felt just the opposite as a burst of energy hit him as Haley peeled off her coat. She was wearing her typical outfit, a pair of jeans and purple sweater, but to him, she looked as sexy as hell. Still, he also knew she was vulnerable and already felt slightly guilty for letting her skip class with him.

"I want to have a little fun," Haley said coyly. "Why don't we head up to your bedroom?"

"Yeah?" Nathan asked, his mouth going dry. Haley gave him a sultry smile as she headed up the stairs to his bedroom.

Nathan took slow steps up the stairs, determined to calm himself with each step. This was definitely not what he intended on when he decided to skip.

When he entered his bedroom, he found Haley perched on his bed, leaning back on her elbows. Nathan quickly succumbed to his hormones and climbed on the bed, moving on top of her. He pushed her all way down with a passionate kiss.

Haley's hands tugged at the hem of Nathan's shirt, as she quickly slipped her hands underneath anxious to have direct skin-to-skin contact. As she began to feel the outlines of Nathan's abs, she felt Nathan's body beginning to jerk towards her, which resulted in a tingling sensation running through her body. Haley took all in, feeling this is exactly what she needed, and most surely, what she wanted. She wanted to be with Nathan in this way. She wanted to kiss him and have him kiss her back like he was. It was like he couldn't get enough of her and she couldn't get enough of him. Next, she wanted to touch him more, and she wanted him to touch her and not just in the ways they had before. Desperate for a distraction, wanting to forget everything else going on in her life, Haley wanted to feel something new. She wanted more of the fire that was forming in the center of her body.

Haley reached up and grabbed Nathan's baseball cap and threw it to the side. Nathan looked up at her and smiled at her aggressiveness.

"We won't be needing that. Know what else we don't need?" Haley began pulling his shirt up which prompted Nathan to sit up and take it completely off for her.

Haley read the lust in his eyes as he looked her up and down. She moved her hands to his back and pulled him back down on top of her. When he reached her, Nathan focused on her neck, gave her a series of wet kisses before sucking on some of her soft spots.

Sensing he was still holding back, Haley moved his hands under her shirt, leaving them at the base of her stomach. Nathan shifted up and looked her in the eye. "I want you to touch me," Haley confirmed.

Nathan began giving attention to the other side of her neck as his hand moved up her shirt. As his hand moved inside the cup of her bra, Haley's body arched up. Nathan then sat up, his knees on either side of her as he eyed her stomach. Her sweater was slightly bunched up, leaving some bare skin exposed. Nathan shifted down a bit and his face met the base of her stomach in a series of soft kisses. Haley moved her hand to the back of his head, where she began running her fingers though his hair. When Nathan's mouth began to move up her body, Haley shifted up and removed her shirt, wanting to give him as much access as possible to that part of her body.

"Haley," Nathan whispered, as he looked lustfully at her lace-trimmed black bra. "You are so sexy…"

When Haley imagined this moment, she had thought she would be embarrassed or shy. But she felt neither, as she watched the boy she loved admiring her body. Haley smiled, and gently pushed his head back down to her stomach, where he resumed laying a trail of kisses. When he reached her bra, Nathan looked up at Haley, silently seeking permission to continue. Haley looked into his eyes and just smiled back at him.

Nathan shifted up and kissed Haley fiercely as she slipped down one of her bra straps. His hand moved to her breast, his thumb running circles over it. Then, as she felt her excitement building, Haley took in a deep breath as Nathan's mouth shifted down her neck and stopped on her breast. As his tongue explored that part of her body, a jolt ran through her body as she involuntarily clicked her knees together.

When she recovered, Haley reached down and began to feel for Nathan's hardness. At first she just slipped her hands in his jeans, getting used to the feel of him over his boxers. As she did, she sensed Nathan's excitement grow as he began to slightly twitch. Their eyes locked as Nathan pushed back up one bra strap and reached over and pulled the other one down. As he did, he lifted up slightly, giving Haley better access to him. Sensing his desire, she took the opportunity to unbutton his pants. After hesitating slightly, she reached into his boxers and gently began to feel him directly.

Nathan's tongue stopped moving as he took in her touch. "Oh God….Hales, you don't have to…" Nathan said rolling to his side. "Oh God," he repeated as her she began to run her hand up and down his member.

"I want to," Haley said as she snuggled up to him. "Do you want me to?" she asked nervously.

"God, yeah," Nathan mumbled, his eyes closing as he fell on his back. Haley shifted his boxers down a bit more, giving her more access to that area. She curled back up to him, wanting to watch him as she began to pump him slightly faster. As she watched him, Haley began to feel good about the pleasure she was able to give him, judging from his facial expressions and the way he moaned her name. Even more surprising to her, was the effect it was having on her own body. She wasn't sure exactly what has happening, but she just knew she wanted to be as close as possible to him. Over the next few minutes, Haley watched in awe as she helped Nathan reach his peak. She had to admit, at the end, she felt a similar craving in her body.

"Haley."

"Yes?"

"I want to make you feel like this too," Nathan said, taking great effort to open his eyes. "Can I?"

"Not sex?" Haley had to ask. She knew, she had heard from her sisters, there were other things couples could do, but she wanted to be clear with Nathan that she was not ready to go all the way just yet.

"No. I just want to touch you, if you want me to. I just want you to make you feel good."

Haley bit her lip and nodded. She had definitely felt her desires for him grow as she had touched him.

Nathan straightened himself out, buttoning back up his pants and then moved over Haley. He began kissing her as he moved his hands down her body. Haley left out a soft moan, when he stopped in between her legs and softly squeezed her.

"Is this okay?" Nathan whispered. Haley nodded, excited by his touch in that area, which felt like it was on fire.

Nathan slowly unbuttoned her jeans, all the while never taking his lips off of hers. Soon, Haley felt his fingers, at first through her panties and then she felt him slide his fingers in and begin rubbing her there. Haley felt like she was going to burst with anticipation and tried her best not to let him see just how much he was affecting her. Then, when his fingers entered her, she shifted her head away from his and whispered his name. She was starting to understand how he must have felt and the reason for his moaning. She began reaching out and clutched his sheets as she her need for him reached an unprecedented intensity.

Nathan moved his lips to her neck, anxious for a distraction himself as he felt himself beginning to harden again as he moved his fingers inside her. From the sounds she was making and the way she was clutching his sheets, he knew she was enjoying this, which seemed to turn him on even more. He tried not to watch her, as he buried himself in her neck and collarbone. By the time he helped Haley reach the same point he had earlier, he could feel the throbbing in his pants again. He kissed Haley gently, and then rolled to his back and closed his eyes as he tried to calm himself.

Haley looked at Nathan and knew what was going on. She decided it was probably best to let him regroup on his own and wanted to gather herself anyway. Her hair was a mess, her mouth was dry and yet she felt the best she had in a long while. This had definitely been the distraction she was looking for.

"I'm going to go get a drink. Want something?"

"Sure."

Haley straightened herself out in the bathroom and then went down to the kitchen. She got out two glasses and then opened the fridge but didn't find anything really appealing. She decided that since she was already being a rebel, and was clearly enjoying trying out new things, she might as well go with it. Haley headed over to the bar and began examining various bottles of Dan's alcohol. She finally settled on a bottle of Grey Goose vodka and poured both her and Nathan a full glass. She couldn't help but take a gulp immediately. She almost spit it out, as it created a burning sensation in her throat. Her second gulp went down a bit easier than the first and after a minute, Haley refilled her halfway empty glass.

When she returned to Nathan's room, she smiled at the sight of him sound asleep. Not wanting to wake him, Haley took her glass and headed over to his desk. She started up the computer and began surfing on the internet. After a while, Haley became bored. She looked again at Nathan and decided maybe she could lie next to him and relax while he slept. She climbed onto the bed and curled up next to him. She began to fiddle with the ring on her pinky finger as she began to watch him intensely. She then became very amused at his relaxed deep breathing pattern and the effect it was having on his body.

Nathan woke up to the sound of Haley giggling and the touch of her hand on his Adam's apple. He looked at her confused as she clasped her hand to her mouth, as her giggled turned into a fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"You are! Did you know what you look like when you sleep?"

Nathan wasn't sure, but could swear she was slurring her words. Haley leaned over him and reached for the glass she had set on his nightstand earlier.

"Here!" Haley thrust the glass into his hand, causing a small splash on to Nathan's bed. "I got you a drink." Haley looked up at him and smiled brightly.

Nathan brought the glass to his lips and as the vodka touched his tongue, he spat it out in shock and then set the glass back down. "Haley! Is this vodka?"

"Is that what it is? I know it burns a little a first, but it's pretty good after that!"

"Haley! What are you doing?"

"Trying something new," she said raising her eyebrows at him. "In fact, I'm really liking all these new things we're trying today," she giggled. She then positioned herself so she was sitting on top of him, basically straddling him. "Don't you want to drink?"

"I can't Hales. I have practice. Besides, I don't touch that stuff anymore."

"You're no fun. I want you to drink with me!"

"Not now. Some other time…Haley, how much did you have to drink?"

"A glass. A half."

"A glass or a half?"

"A glass _and_ a half!" Haley smiled proudly at her ability to do the calculation.

"Haley, you don't drink vodka like that. It's hard liquor."

"That's not all that's hard," Haley smirked. She looked at Nathan and saw his eyes widened. She couldn't understand why he wasn't laughing. She thought it was pretty funny and she began to laugh at her own joke.

Nathan laughed at the sight of her. "I've never seen you like this."

"Now you have!"

Nathan took a quick look at his clock. "Shit!" He sprung up, as Haley lay back down. "Haley, we have to go. School's out now and my dad could be headed back."

"I just want to lie down for a bit," Haley said closing her eyes, suddenly not feeling so well. Nathan grabbed her hands and pulled her off the bed. Haley sluggishly let Nathan lead her down the hallway but began to resist as they reached the stairs.

"I don't think I can go down the stairs right now." Haley could feel the room spinning and she knew if she didn't trust her ability to put one foot in front of the other.

"Get on my back then. We have to go, Hales."

"Okay. One. Three. Five." Haley thrust her legs around Nathan's hips and wrapped her arms around his neck.

They had just reached the bottom of the stairs when Dan walked in.

"Nice knowing ya," Nathan muttered.

Dan held open the front door and the two of them reluctantly walked outside.

"You got scouts coming to see you soon and this is how you're training?" Dan yelled as he opened his passenger side car door.

"Dad, can we do this later?" Nathan asked, both embarrassed and nervous.

"Mr. Scott?" Haley finally managed to say.

"Was I talking to you? Get it in the car. I'm driving you both home." Haley got in the front seat of his Range Rover while Nathan got into the back seat. Dan got into the car and immediately picked up where he left off. "Your mother's going to love this! You getting drunk on her watch!"

The words were no sooner out of his mouth when Haley turned towards him and threw up all over his lap.

* * *

Nathan was hesitant to leave Haley alone but he knew he had to be a practice to be eligible to play in the next day's game. Once he had convinced his father that he hadn't been drinking, he had taken Haley home himself. They had to pull over twice on the way and then once they were inside, Nathan had held up her hair in the bathroom while she threw up some more. When he was convinced she was finally finished, he got her set up on the couch.

"Haley, I have to go."

"Uh-huh." Haley closed her eyes and tried to best to block out all the light and sound in the room. It felt like someone was slamming a brick into her forehead and even though she loved him with all her heart, she didn't even care to hear Nathan's voice.

"Who do you want me to call? Brooke or Peyton?"

"Neither. I'm fine."

"Well, I guess I'll call both."

"No….wait…Peyton's got Jake's baby right now," Haley blurted out. Her eyes flew open and she sat straight up as she remembered it was supposed to be a secret.

"Relax. I know."

"You do?"

"He told Whitey and that's why he misses some away games and practices. What'd you think, Hales? I'm team captain and I wouldn't know?"

"So you knew and didn't tell me?" Haley asked incredulously. Her head began to ache again at the sound of her own voice. She put her hand to head and lay back down.

"Haley, do you realize what you're saying?" Nathan asked at the irony of her accusation.

"No," Haley admitted. She knew it was a stupid thing to say, especially considering that she had known and didn't tell him either. "It's just…We're not supposed to have secrets. You're the one person I'm supposed to share everything with."

Nathan sat down on the edge of the couch. "I know. Well, there is one secret I'm keeping from you, but I'm not budging on that."

"Nathan!"

"It's more like a surprise."

"I hate surprises! Give me a hint…"

"Valentine's Day." Nathan got up and took out his phone to call Brooke.

"It better be nothing like last year!" Haley couldn't resist shouting out.

Nathan suddenly began to worry that maybe his surprise wasn't enough when you considered all the drama of last year. He had planned to take her out to dinner and then to a Sheryl Crowe concert. He had already gone to great lengths to get the tickets, paying top dollar bidding on them through eBay. Now, that all seemed silly and predictable. That was her favorite singer, after all and he had already taken her first concert anyway, which was well over a year ago. Yes, he was definitely going to have to add on at least one more surprise for that special day.

* * *

Haley and Nathan both woke up to the sound of Lydia and Jimmy coming in the front door. For a second, Nathan panicked wondering if he should go and try to hide, as he was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and clearly intending on spending the night on the couch with Haley. Haley was nervous as well, but it more about the sight of her parents coming in unexpected at such a late hour. She looked at the clock and realized it was four a.m. and her heart dropped.

With one look into her mother's eyes, Haley knew Grams was gone. She buried herself in Lydia's arms as they both began to sob.

Jimmy and Nathan stood around both feeling awkward at their presence.

"I was sleeping on the couch," Nathan felt the need to explain.

"Yeah, I figured as much," Jimmy shrugged. Nathan began to relax that he didn't seem to be too upset by this. "Let's go in the kitchen. I'm sure Lydia could use a cup of tea."

* * *

"Hey, little sis! How's it going?" Quinn asked as she popped up behind Haley, who was standing looking out the window. Quinn followed her gaze and saw Nathan playing with Vivian's children. He had Sophie on his shoulders and Johnny was at his feet handing him a basketball. They watched together as Nathan walked over to the net and Sophie dunked the ball. "He finally left your side, huh?"

"I had to make him," Haley admitted.

"I have to say, Haley Bob, he's really stuck by you."

"I can't imagine going through this without him. You know how I'm afraid of clowns? Well, Nathan's afraid of wakes. I guess his father made him to his grandfathers when he was a kid and made him kiss his grandfather in the casket," Haley paused as she and her sister shuddered at the thought, "but there he was by my side; didn't think twice about it. He's been so strong and always seems to know exactly what I need. I've never felt so…" Haley struggled to find the right words, "…_connected to someone_. Is that what it's like with you and David?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. We've just been together so long so it's kind of different. We met freshman year and it's been almost four years…we'll probably get married soon," she said nonchalantly.

Haley was struck on how unaffected Quinn seemed to be as spoke. She couldn't image ever talking so dully about Nathan and their relationship.

"Are you engaged?" Haley asked in an attempt to garner some excitement from her.

"No, no. But we're living together off campus now and I imagine we'll stay that way after graduation and then, well, the next step just seems to be that."

Again, Haley felt bothered by lackadaisical Quinn's tone. "Are you in love with him?"

"Oh, Haley, you are so young. Give it five years." Quinn said patronizingly as she patted her on the back.

Haley tried not to think about where they would be in five years, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to be at Stanford, but with Nathan's eye on Duke, she could already see problems arising. She pushed the thoughts away and convinced herself everything would be okay, that considering everything they'd been through, the worst was behind them. Besides, she hated been patronized by her older siblings, as she had often been as the baby of the family. "I don't know Quinn, I love him so much. I know he's the one for me."

"You too have always had something special. I'm happy you have him," Quinn said putting her arm around Haley and squeezing her tight. "So have you two, you know…" Quinn nudged her.

"Quinn! You really think that's appropriate right after our grandmother's funeral?" Haley admonished her.

"You're no fun! You have to give me some dirt. After all, you were grilling Tay and I at Christmas."

"I bet you'll never let me forget that too!" Haley paused remember she did have something to look forward too. "Well, he has some kind of surprise for me for Valentine's Day."

"Oh! I love surprises! David never surprises me anymore! Any ideas on what it could be?"

Haley had thought about it and was stumped. "Well he has a big game that day so I'm kind of confused. I don't think he's taking me anywhere. He's given me jewelry for my past two birthdays. This bracelet," Haley showed her, "and—" Haley's heart rate began to pick up as she realized the ring that usually lied on her pinky finger was missing. "My ring! It's gone!"

"Did you take it off?"

"No! I never—" Haley stopped when a vague memory began to pop up. The last time she remembered having it was at Nathan's beach house, but her memory wasn't entirely clear about that. If she had to guess, it had to be there. Haley swallowed hard at the fact that if she wanted to get the ring back, that meant Nathan would have to make a trip back there. "I think I know where it might be," she muttered.

"Good. Hey, I noticed Rachel's not here," Quinn noted looking around. "I saw her at the funeral and I thought she'd come here too."

"Nope." Haley wasn't willing to hypothesize what was going on with Rachel these days.

"That's too bad," Quinn said seriously.

"Yeah, it is." Haley didn't feel the guilt anymore. She had really tried with her but the fact was these days, Rachel wasn't even speaking to her. She had refused to work with her on an assigned health project and Haley had been forced to do all the work herself. That was the most contact she'd had with her since the night at Tric. At this point, Haley had given up hope of having any type of relationship with that particular Scott, whether it was tomorrow, or five years later.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "The Great Escape" (Boys Like Girls)

AN: So this chapter is so long, I'm hoping it could count as two in your eyes and takes off some of the pressure for me to update right away! It helps since my godson is flying in on Wed and I have no idea what that will mean for my writing schedule. Also, I am writing some really heavy, dark parts so it's not like I can take an hour and just do that and go back to life as normal. I have written ahead, and have the next chapter ready to post (fun song, V's Day, take two!), but we'll see how it goes. Patience is key, as always! Still, please read and review for this monster of a chapter!


	31. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 30: "The Great Escape" (Boys Like Girls)

"I can't believe the boys have a game on Valentine's Day!" Brooke whined as she followed Haley into the kitchen of the café.

"It's not like it's a real holiday, Brooke," Haley pointed out. "You know, the faster this place gets cleaned, the faster we can leave."

Brooke shot her a disgusted looked as she watched Haley load a deep stack of dishes into the sink. The café had just closed and Karen had left her in charge of closing up. The girls had plans to celebrate Valentine's Day early with on a double date which was to include dinner and a movie, but Haley was beginning to grow concerned about the time. She was sure by now the boys were out of their Saturday practice and sitting around and waiting for them, and if they wanted to make the movie, they had to get going soon.

"You expect me to wash dishes?" Brooke asked offended.

"If we miss the movie, it's all your fault! Then neither us will get our Valentine's Day date!"

"Calm down, Tutor Girl! We have plenty of time and there is no need for me to ruin this perfectly good manicure," Brooke assured her as admired her bright red nails.

"Ughh! I don't know how you can say that!" Haley said anxiously. "Do you see what time it is?" She shouted at Brooke in frustration.

"Whoa!" Brooke exclaimed, looking genuinely scared. "Let me call the boys." Brooke quickly exited the kitchen to retrieve her cell phone.

"I don't know how that's going to help anything!" Haley called after her.

Brooke returned a few minutes later, looking slightly nervous. "Change of plans. The boys are going to meet us here."

"Brooke! I'm not even dressed! I can't go like this!" Haley was only wearing a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve shirt, her customary outfit for her café shifts and definitely not dressed for a date.

"Uh,… don't worry about it," Brooke said slowly.

"Easy for you to say! You look great!" Haley shook her head as she reviewed Brooke's ensemble. She was wearing red sparkly halter top that tied around waist revealing her stylish figure, black tight pants topped off with strappy red high heels. She looked like she had walked off the pages of some fashion magazine.

"I'm going to wait out there to let them in," Brooke said as she made another quick exit out of the kitchen.

"Hmph!" Now furious, Haley began to put her anger into scrubbing the stack of dishes as she muttered to herself.

A few minutes later, Lucas appeared at her side with his sleeves rolled up. "Get out of here, Hales. I've got this."

"Where's Nathan?" Haley asked, ignoring him as she continued to work.

"He's on his way. Move over, will you?" Lucas demanded as he threw a towel at her.

"I thought you two were together," Haley said confused.

Lucas threw his hands up in frustration. "God, Broke was right! You are SO difficult!"

"Me?" Haley asked incredulously as she turned to face him.

"Yes, you! It's Brooke's turn to watch you. Go and wait with her out there," Lucas forcefully instructed her as he pointed towards the café counter.

"Fine!" Haley huffed. As Haley walked out from the kitchen she could hear Brooke talking.

"I tried to stall as long as I could! I didn't know it was going to be so hard! You better hope Lucas has something good planned for me, but either way, you owe me, Nathan Scott!"

"What's going on?" Haley asked as she looked from Brooke to Nathan. She was further taken aback when she saw Nathan's casual outfit, which was consisted of a pair of jeans and black and grey fleece zip up jacket.

Nathan just smiled broadly at her. "I hear you've been giving Brooke a hard time, Hales. Maybe you don't deserve what I have planned for you," he teased.

They all turned around as lights flashed outside the café window. It was already dark out, and Haley squinted to try and make out the vehicle, as they all walked over to the café window. She wasn't sure, but she thought it looked kind of like a limo, but it was one like she'd never seen before. It was high of the ground and in a box shape, with large tires and stretched out wide.

"What did you do?" Haley asked in awe.

"Tell me, Lucas got this," Brooke said, her voice barely a whisper, as her eyes lit up.

Haley smiled at Nathan, fully aware that this monstrosity was definitely more his style than Lucas'.

"Ah, sorry, Brooke," Nathan said gently, "but Lucas does have something special planned for you." He then grabbed Haley's hand and led her toward the door. "Let's go check it out, Hales."

"What is it?" Haley asked excitedly as they went outside.

"It's a Hummer limo." Nathan ran his hand along the side of the vehicle admiringly. "I've never actually seen one before. This is the coolest thing. You are so lucky to have a guy like me."

Haley laughed at how impressed he was with himself. "So, this is all for me, huh?"

Nathan cocked his head at her and shrugged. "Maybe a little for me, too. I called to get the limo, and they told me about this….and I just couldn't resist."

The driver stepped out the car and began to walk towards Nathan. He looked him up and down skeptically. "Mr. Scott?"

"That's me," Nathan answered extending his hand.

"I'm Nick and I'll be your driver."

Nick opened the door at the same time Lucas and Brooke exited the café.

"Whoa…" Lucas stopped in his tracks as he took in the sight of the limo. "Did you really have to do that, Nate?"

"You're just jealous," Nathan said smugly.

"I know I am," Brooke muttered, causing Lucas to shoot Nathan a dirty look.

"We better get going," Nathan said as he checked the time.

"No, wait! I just need to see it. Come on, Lucas. This is probably the closest I'll ever get to something like this," Brooke said as she crawled into the limo. Lucas shot Nathan another nasty look as he followed behind her.

Nathan and Haley looked at each and laughed.

"Come on, Hales. Let's check out _our limo_." Nathan gestured grandly for Haley to get in.

"Why, thank you!" Haley said as she eagerly hopped inside.

Haley's breath was taken away as she climbed in. Inside there were lights lining both the sides of the ceiling and the floor, which was housed a red runner carpet. "How many people can you fit in here?" Haley asked eyeing the stretch of cushioned seats on either side, which looked more like couches than car seats. From her angle she could also spot a tv, mini fridge and what looked like a mini bar with a bottle of champagne, glasses and perhaps even a sink.

"Fifteen, I think," Nathan answered proudly. "Want a ride?" he asked Lucas and Brooke.

"Yes!" Brooke answered for both of them.

"Let me go lock up quick," Lucas said trying to make hasty exit.

"Hey Luke, can you grab that bag I left on the counter?" Nathan called after him. Lucas just rolled his eyes in annoyance as he headed back into the café.

"Let me pour us champagne!" Brooke giggled as she popped the cork on the bottle.

"Pace yourself, Hales. You sip champagne, not guzzle it," Nathan joked as he passed Haley a glass.

"Ha, Ha. I've learned my lesson," Haley defended herself.

Lucas returned a few minutes later, a bag in his hands, which he slammed down beside Nathan. He grabbed a glass of champagne and, at Brooke's urging, they all clinked glasses. They had barely taken a sip when the limo came to an abrupt stop.

Nick soon opened the door and revealed they were only a few blocks away outside of the Riverwalk. Haley looked at Nathan, who seemed very relaxed with his arm around her, and no intentions of moving.

"Uh, this is our stop," Lucas motioned for Brooke.

"Are you serious?" Brooke complained dramatically.

Haley tried not to watch them, growing uncomfortable that a scene was about to ensure. She looked out the window and saw they were outside the same restaurant that Nathan took her to before he left for High Flyers last summer. "Oh this place is really nice, Brooke. They have seats right outside on the pier and it's very private. Great food, too."

"Right," Brooke said dryly. "So, I'm guessing Nathan took you here already."

"I can't win!" Lucas exclaimed getting out of the car. "Thanks a lot, Nate. Last time I help you."

"Dude, I can't help it if you're not romantic!" Nathan called after him. He then pulled Haley up against him. "Isn't that right?"

"I can't deny that," Haley whispered right before Nathan leaned in and kissed her.

"Ah-hem," Brooke cleared her throat, reminding them she was still there.

"He's trying, Brooke. Cut him a break," Haley defending Lucas.

"Yeah, he can't help it. Not everyone can be me like me!" Nathan said cockily, causing Haley to swiftly elbow him.

"Stop it! You're not helping!" Haley scolded him.

"I'm the one who gave him the idea! Without me, they'd be at the pizza place again!"

"I'm out of here," Brooke said miserably as she exited.

"Nathan! We can't leave them like this!" Haley pleaded.

"We have to! This is _their thing_, Hales, in case you haven't noticed. Brooke pretends to get all mad at him and he begins to sulk and then—BAM!—she's all over him. It's like his brooding is an aphrodisiac for her!" Haley nodded and laughed as she realized he totally had them pegged correctly. "Besides, we have better things to do," Nathan smiled.

"Like what?"

"Well, I have to tell you now because I need you to make a decision. We have tickets to—"

"Sheryl Crowe!" Haley began hitting him in her excitement, causing him to laugh. "You knew and you watched me try to win those tickets off the radio for the past week!"

"Are you mad?"

"No," Haley said quickly. "This is so sweet, Nathan. You didn't have to do all this."

"I wanted to. So, do you want to go home and change? If you do, then we might miss part of the opening act. I'm sorry about that; it was the only time I could get this thing."

"I really want to change out of my work clothes because I feel so gross. I'll be quick."

"That's what I thought." Nathan rolled down window partition and gave Nick the directions. "We'll eat after that?"

"We don't have to stop and eat, Nathan." In truth, Haley loved opening acts and wanted to get there as soon as possible.

"Who said anything about stopping?" Nathan held up the bag Lucas had dropped off. "Mac and cheese, anyone?"

"You just thought of everything, didn't you?" Haley asked impressed.

"Anything for my girl," he grinned. "So after we eat, what do you say we take advantage of these seats?" Nathan said with a glint in his eye.

"This date keeps getting better by the minute…" Haley said with a glint of her own.

* * *

"We're almost home," Haley pouted as she looked up at Nathan. "I don't want to go home," Haley ran her fingers through Nathan's hair and gave him a soft kiss. They were facing each other, with their arms wrapped around each other as they lied down on the spacious couch style seats. They had been in that position for the second half of the ride to the concert and then had resumed the positions for the ride home. At various times, they had both privately thought maybe it wasn't the best idea, as several times things had become so intense during their make out sessions, they had to pull away. At this point, they were both grateful the intensity had faded, as they simply enjoyed being together.

"I guess you had a good time?" Nathan asked as he rubbed her back.

"Yes! The concert was amazing! Getting to be alone with you wasn't that bad either." Haley moved one of her hands underneath his shirt and began lightly tapping her fingers up and down his chest. She closely looked at Nathan saw he was unfazed and which caused her to smile. Not only did she love touching him, but she loved how comfortable they both felt doing things like that. Although this particular touching was innocent, Haley knew she could just as easily move her hands elsewhere and it would have a dramatically different effect, which was something else she was growing to enjoy as well. Haley smiled again as she thought of how things just seemed to be getter better and better with their relationship, as she experienced a growing intimacy with Nathan on many different levels.

Nathan raised his eye brows in curiosity as he watched her. "What you smiling at?"

"I just feel so close to you," Haley said as she reached up and gave him a quick kiss. "I hope this never changes," Haley said growing serious.

"It won't," Nathan assured her. "In fact, it's only going to get better."

"I'm not sure, Nathan."

Nathan looked at her perplexed. "Where is this coming from?"

"Look at Quinn and David."

"What? He's a nice guy."

"I know, but they're just kind of blahhhh. I don't get it. I remember when they first met and Quinn threw a fit about coming home for the summer. Then, after that, they both got summer jobs on campus, just so they didn't have to come home. Now, they're living together and it's like, 'oh, whatever.' And she told me they're probably going to get married, like it was no big deal! You think that just happens to everyone? You think people just get bored with each other?"

"No…I mean look at your parents…Ever think that maybe David's just not the guy for Quinn? Maybe they fell in love and all, but he's just not 'the one'?" Nathan shifted up, propping himself up on his elbow as he continued. "I mean, I'm not an expert, but I always thought Quinn had so much energy and she was so bubbly, but when she's with David….it's as if he sucks the life out of her."

"You're right," Haley agreed, as she was now able to see the same thing. "I just don't get why she's going to marry him then."

"She loves him. He loves her. She probably thinks that's enough."

"We're not like that, right? I mean, we won't be like that…" Haley asked, desperate for confirmation they were not headed down the same path.

"Absolutely not," Nathan said quickly. "We didn't just fall in love, Haley. It's more than that and it's not something that's going to just go away. You know," Nathan said as he began to stroke her hair, "you're the only one I can really talk to…and not just about that night…I know I can talk to you about anything."

"I know," Haley said. She had always known that was true, but it was so nice to hear him say it. Haley took a deep breath and decided that perhaps she should let him know how she felt, even if it wasn't pretty. "And I feel you're the only one who really knows what's going on inside of me. Everyone thinks I'm so perfect and they expect so much from me but….sometimes I just feel like that little girl in the shower, trying to block out those noises, crying….then I feel your arms around me and I know it's all going to be okay."

Tears welled in her eyes, but she took comfort in Nathan's eyes which were only filled with strength and love. She felt relieved getting that out of her system. She had held it in for so long and was worried that bringing them back to that horrid night and mentioning those details might upset Nathan. It didn't appear to though, as he remained strong and protective, as he tugged her tight.

"You don't have to be strong for me, Hales," he reminded her. "I'm always here for you."

"I know that, now, more than ever."

"Good."

Wanting to reciprocate, Haley decided to try and get Nathan to talk. She knew he was stressed about basketball, but had been hesitant to talk about it with her. "Talk to me about the big game. You nervous?"

"Well, there's definitely going to be scouts there since if win, we'd clinch the league title."

"Duke?"

"According to my dad, yeah, that will be one of them. Of course he's taking full credit for getting them there."

"Figures."

"Yeah, so I'm not really sure how it's going to go down. I don't know if that means I play to win, play to impress, or worry about the scouts seeing Damien."

"Have you talked to your father about it?"

"No. He hasn't said anything. Part of me is wondering if I imagined the whole thing with Daunte. I mean, Damien gets pissy on the court, but that's nothing new. He's always been a selfish player."

"So you still don't think he knows about Daunte?"

"No, I don't think he does. He hasn't alluded to it and he did just let the whole Tric thing go….He's still all over me about the parties too. He acts like he really wants to me to go, which I don't get. I guess he's throwing a big one after the game and he wants the whole team there."

"We should go."

Nathan looked at her surprised. "Really? You want to go to one of _his parties_?"

"Well, he did let what happened at Tric go. Maybe he learned his lesson. Plus, if it makes things easier for you, then yeah, I would go. It's the least I can do after all you've done for me lately."

"Haley, you don't owe me anything. And you know how he's such a dick! I still don't want you being around him."

"We'll see how things go, then? And you know, I'm not like I was before. I think I might actually like to go to a party and…" Haley pointed her finger at him, "I don't need a chaperone!"

"Are you kidding me? You want to pour yourself another full glass of vodka?"

"Shut up! I told you I learned my lesson! I took my time with champagne tonight." They had both, in fact done that, having only about two glasses before the concert and one right after.

"You know, I thought you didn't like alcohol, Hales."

"I don't, but I figured I might as well try it."

"And what do you think?"

"It's not so bad. Tonight it felt good. I feel relaxed and…good," Haley smiled.

"Yeah, you're buzzed. That's the thing to go for. Don't overdo it, trust me."

"What do you mean, Nathan? You keep saying that…"

Nathan sighed heavily. "I've done some things, I'm not proud of, Hales. I'd rather not get into it."

"You just said you could tell me anything."

"I can. I just don't want it to change how you feel about me. I mean, I'm not the guy I used to be and I don't like to think about it."

"I know that Nathan and we all make mistakes. Just tell me. You're the one person I don't have any secrets from."

Nathan looked into her eyes and was sold. For some reason, it did make sense not to have any secrets from each other. Still, he was nervous about sharing those stories about himself. Although she had seen him angry, she had never seen him drunk and angry, which was when his rage always got the best of him. He never wanted her to see him that way.

"Well, my freshmen year I went to a lot of parties. I mean, you know that. And at these parties, I drank a lot; mostly shots…lots of vodka. There were a couple of times I blacked out and then they were some times I vaguely remember doing some bad things…I got into some trouble, Haley, and the only thing that got me out of it was my dad. Mr. West, too I guess."

"So Damien was involved?" Haley asked knowingly. "What happened?"

"One time, we stole a bus—"

"You what?"

"I know, okay! It was after an away game. The keys were in the ignition. The bus driver was gone and….well, I was the one driving," Nathan reluctantly admitted. He saw the shock on Haley's face and felt the need to explain further. "It was our first away game and my dad was all over me because I didn't play much. He actually came into the locker room and screamed at me! Told me my conditioning was crap and that he never got pulled from a game. Whitey got pissed and then they got into it…and we were all just standing around waiting as they were screaming at each other out in the hallway…and Damien pulled out a bottle of vodka...and I drank a lot…way too much…then we got on the bus…and had to wait some more…so I just started it up…then somehow we ended up in a ditch; that's the part I don't remember…"

"It crashed?"

"Yeah. I think I blacked out. Luckily, no one got hurt."

"And you didn't get in trouble?"

"No. None of us did."

"Wow…" Haley said taking it all in.

"There's more, Haley. Do you want me to keep going?" Part of him wanted to stop, but part of him also felt good, letting this off his chest. He would feel even better though, if he said it all because then he'd have nothing to hide from Haley. She would know absolutely everything about him.

Haley rubbed her thumb across Nathan's cheek. "You can tell me anything, Nathan. I know the real you and that wasn't you. It wasn't the guy I'm crazy in love with right now who's been by side the past few weeks."

Nathan took a deep breath and continued. "Well, one other night, again after a game that my dad chewed me out for, we were riding around in Damien's SUV. Funny, now that I think of it, he didn't even have his license, but that didn't seem to stop us…So anyway, this one, I kind of blacked out. We were playing some kind of game…using a bat to knock down mailboxes, but while Damien was driving…I just remember being so angry….and I remember flashes of the bat hitting the boxes….I just don't remember swinging the bat…It's kind of weird. Anyway, that's a federal offense so our parents had to pull a lot of strings to get us out of that one…"

"In a way, it sounds like you were lucky, Nathan."

"I guess…it's just that I was like, all pent up. You and I weren't close then, and I didn't know how to deal with my dad and basketball and Damien just got me all amped up. I wish I would have listened to Jake though. He always warned me about him."

"I wish you did too. Is that it? Is there more?"

"I don't know. Damien blamed shit on me all the time. He claimed I crashed up his dad's BMW when I went on an alcohol run and then just fled the scene."

"You don't think it's true?"

Nathan looked seriously at Haley. He hated admitting this to her. "That was the night I showed up at your place. The night before we left for football camp…I don't know how I got to your place, Haley. I just ended up there and I don't remember much else. I just remember seeing you wearing my shirt and lying with you in your bed…I don't even remember leaving. The thing is my car was at my house though."

"So you probably drove it home and then walked to my place, right?"

"I honestly don't remember. How bad is that? Either way, I had no business driving that night."

"You are lucky, Nathan."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, because that was a while ago, and I get that you were going through a lot. Just please don't do that again…don't drink like that, especially with Damien," Haley said with pleading eyes.

"I won't. Will you learn from my mistakes, too? Stick to beer or don't gulp down the hard stuff?"

"Been there, done that, Nathan. I've made mistakes of my own too, remember?"

"Getting drunk and puking is nothing compared to what I've done, Hales!"

"Nathan, I'm serious. I want to go to that party and I don't need you to monitor me anymore! Let me make my own mistakes….and I promise they will be nothing like yours…"

"Fine. I won't say a word to you all night then. You're on your own."

"Hey! I didn't say that! Can't we compromise?"

"You know, Haley, you aren't fooling anyone. You're the one calling the shots, here," Nathan smirked at her.

"And you love it," Haley said as she leaned in for a kiss.

The lips had barely touched when the limo came to a stop.

"I don't want to go!" Haley moaned.

"Just call me, like you always do. Fifteen minutes?"

"Okay. I'll wait to thank you and tell you how much I love you until then."

Haley got of the limo, clutching her new Sheryl Crowe t-shirt. She blew Nathan a kiss and then ran up the driveway to her door, anxious to get ready for bed and start her nightly goodnight call to Nathan.

Much to her surprise, when she entered the house, Haley found her father was sitting on the couch. It looked as if he was waiting up for her.

"Hey, Dad," Haley said slowly.

Jimmy didn't respond as he grabbed some pieces of folded up paper from beside him.

Sensing she was in some kind of trouble, and not wanting her father to know she had been drinking, Haley tried her best to sneak off. "I'm just going to head off to bed."

"And, let me guess…call Nathan?"

Haley stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around.

"Guess what I got in the mail today?" Jimmy asked holding up the papers. "The cell phone bill! It's over $250!" Jimmy yelled. "Do you have any idea how many minutes you used up? And at did you know the bill lists all the times of your calls? What were you doing on the phone until three a.m?"

* * *

"I was surprised you wanted to see me," Dan said taking a sip of his red wine.

Nathan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This was the most time he had spent alone with his father in a while. He decided to get right to the point. "I actually needed some advice."

"Don't tell me you got her pregnant!" Dan slammed his fist on the table, causing a few drops of the wine to spill.

"How many times have I told you? I'm not you!" Nathan said standing up. "This was a mistake." Nathan turned to leave as people at the nearest table began to take notice.

"Wait. Sit down, son. I'll let you talk."

Nathan hesitantly took his seat again and took a deep breath. He still wanted to leave, but he also was determined to find out exactly where he stood with Daunte and the Wests.

"I wasn't sure how I should play the game tomorrow night."

"What kind of a question is that?" Dan reprimanded him. "Look, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a blowout, but we can't afford to have another game like Groveton. Use their crappy defense to run up your stats. Maybe then, you can finally have a chance of breaking that record."

"But, the scouts will be there." Dan looked at Nathan as if he was crazy because of course he knew that. Nathan decided it was best to be as blunt as possible. "Have you, uh, heard anything, from, you know,….Daunte," he whispered his name.

"I took care of that," Dan said looking around nervously. "Look, I'm sorry you had to get caught up in that. Things weren't going well, business-wise but I straightened that all out. It shouldn't be a problem anymore."

"Does Damien know anything about this?"

Dan sighed heavily. "I don't think so. You see, Daunte broke the cardinal rule. We were always supposed to keep our kids out of everything."

"A lot of good that did," Nathan muttered.

"You know, Nathan do you have any idea how much I've sacrificed for you and your sister? Do you have any idea how all of this started?" Dan blurted out. When he realized what he said, his anger faded and he seemed to grow disappointed with himself. "Let's just say I never set out for all this," he explained. "All I've been trying to do is protect my family!"

Nathan looked at him blankly. He wasn't convinced by his father's words, but his tone indicated that part of the conversation was over. Nathan pushed his nagging thoughts away, figuring it was fruitless to even try to comprehend his father's motivations.

"Duke is definitely going to have a scout there so just play for yourself, Nate," Dan said earnestly. "You know we've worked a long time for this. Don't blow it," he warned him.

"I know," Nathan responded. He stood up, indicating their conversation was over. "Thanks, Dad."

"Where do think you're going?" Nathan was taken aback by his father's stern tone. "Sit down. I need some advice from you now."

Nathan's mouth nearly dropped and he slowly sat back down the chair and waited for Dan to continue.

"How exactly do you deal with Rachel?" Dan sighed.

* * *

Haley was proudly beaming as she stood with Peyton and Brooke waiting for the guys to finish up. It was a wildly successful game for many reasons. First, the Ravens had won by twenty four points, which allowed them to clinch the league title and a top seed in the tournament with home advantage for playoffs. Secondly, Nathan had scored thirty points and was now, after a few lousy games, back on track to break the high school's all-time scoring record, which was held by his father. Lastly, there were several scouts waiting to talk to the seniors, and since Nathan had the best game, she was confident that they must want to talk to him.

A few minutes later, the team exited the locker room. Sure enough, four of the scouts made a beeline for Nathan. When Peyton squealed, Haley noticed one of the scouts talking to Jake. When the two girls hugged, it gave Haley a clear view of Damien standing alone looking around. For a moment Haley felt pity for him; that was until he caught her eye and gave her one of his smarmy smiles. As he began walking towards her, she pulled away from Peyton and turned her back towards him.

"Hey, ladies. I'm hoping I'll be seeing you all later tonight at my place. I know you ladies have my guys on short leash, but as captain, I really need my team together tonight. You," Damien glared at Haley, "are the ones that don't like the parties, right?"

Haley looked closely at Damien and began to wonder if she had given him enough credit. To her, it seemed as if he manipulating her into revealing why they hadn't been to one of his parties.

"Actually, Nathan and I were planning on going," Haley spat out. She smiled as Damien was unable to hide his surprise. "I can't speak for anyone else though."

"If you guys are going, then we're in," Peyton spoke up.

"I'll drag Lucas if I have to," Brooke piped in.

Damien shook his head at them, disgusted and turned to walk away. "They might as well give you Whitey's whistle," Damien muttered loud enough for them to hear.

* * *

Nathan put his car in park and took Haley's hand and squeezed it. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Haley gave him a look of annoyance and swiftly got out the car. It was the third time he had asked her that question.

"I guess so," Nathan muttered as he exited as well. The fact that she hadn't allowed him to open the door for her wasn't a good sign.

Haley slightly slowed down as she reached the front entrance, but she still lead the way as they entered the house. She was definitely aggravated, a little at Nathan for what she felt like was coddling her, but more so at Damien's mind games. Now, as they entered his beach house, the party was already in full gear and Haley guessed they were the last to arrive. She felt like she had to wait forever for Nathan to finish talking to those scouts. Although she was happy for him, she had been bored out of her mind and was also anxious to get going.

Nathan stood back and let Haley navigate her way through a sea of people. Once she settled into a spot in between Bevin and Brooke, he began to relax. He decided to let her be, but vowed never to let her out of his line of vision.

* * *

"I missed you," Haley whispered into Nathan's ear, after taking a seat on his lap.

"Are you drunk again, Haley James?"

"I believe the term is buzzed," Haley corrected him with a smile. "This is where you're supposed to tell me how much you missed me."

"So I'm taking it you're not pissed at me anymore," Nathan half-smiled.

"I'm sorry." Haley nested her face in his neck, embarrassed and then looked back up. "I took things out on you. I didn't even ask you about the scouts. One of them was Duke, right?"

"Yeah. He was impressed. He's going to come again to see me during playoffs. I just hope it's the game where I break my father's record!"

"I'm so proud of you," Haley said as she stroked his cheek. "I noticed no one wanted to talk to Damien."

"That's what you get when you play like shit. He hasn't said a word to me all night, so I'm guessing he's angry."

"Hopefully your dad's right." Nathan had filled her in after their dinner and like him, Haley was doubtful that Daunte had simply backed off.

"I guess we'll find out," Nathan said seriously. "Hey? You ready to get out of here?"

"I managed to get my parents to extend curfew until midnight since it's Valentine's Day and all. I thought I told you? We still have an hour and a half left."

"I know." Haley looked at Nathan and could tell from the gleam in his eyes, he was up to something. "What you don't know, is that my mom took Rachel to Charlotte for the weekend. They have some type of fitting for Coop's wedding."

"Oh, really? What are you suggesting?" Haley asked feigning ignorance.

"Just if you wanted some place to go…some place a little more private…I have a place in mind."'

"In that case, let's go!" Haley said giddily.

Haley stood up and looked around to say goodbye to some of her friends. "Where are Peyton and Jake?"

"Probably fucking in one of the guest rooms," Nathan answered bluntly.

"Do you have to be so crude?"

"It's the truth, Hales."

Haley looked around again. "What about Brooke and Lucas?"

"Probably fucking in one of guest—"

"Nathan!" Haley cut him off, putting her hands over her ears.

Nathan simply shrugged and began to follow her towards the front door.

Haley turned around and narrowed her eyes of him. "You really think Brooke and Lucas have…you know?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Are you kidding me? Hales, I'm almost positive they did back the first time they were together!"

"Freshmen year?" Haley asked stunned. She scanned the room; wondering if was possible she was the only virgin there. She then looked at Nathan and remembered he was too. She shook her head in disbelief, that she, the oldest person in her grade, and Nathan, the hot jock and captain of the basketball team who was about to turn eighteen in a couple of weeks, were the two virgins in the room. Even worse, Haley knew this was basically all her fault, as she was the one holding them back.

"Just when I start to think you are catching on to the ways of the world, I suddenly remember how naïve you are!" Nathan chuckled.

Haley swiftly hit him, causing him to laugh even more. She immediately began to feel better as remembered how Nathan didn't seem to be too bothered by her need to wait. Sure, she could tell he was holding back at times, but he never complained about it and was always concerned that he wasn't pressuring her, which meant a lot.

"You two leaving?" Damien popped up behind them. Nathan opened his mouth to speak, but Damien beat him to it. "Nathan, you know where I keep the stash of condoms. It was in that same guestroom you two were in before, right?" Damien referred to the party at the start of the school year when he walked on Haley and Nathan in a compromising position. "I know I showed you that room, Nathan, back when we were freshmen—"

"Stop," Nathan warned him, take a step towards him.

"Hey!" Damien said backing away with his hands up defensively. "No, need to get upset. I was just offered you and Hales, here, a place to go at it. I know that's how Nathan always likes to end his nights after a party here."

Nathan took another step towards Damien, as Haley grabbed his arm.

"Please, don't, Nathan. Let's just leave," Haley begged him.

Nathan took a few deep breaths and let Haley guide him out the door.

As they left the house, Haley was reminded of how everyone had probably made assumptions about the both of them, separately and as a couple. She remembered their conversation on the way home from the concert and took comfort in the fact that they knew each other best and that was all that mattered. Still, she didn't want to be that naïve girl that Nathan referred to. He would, after all be heading off to college soon, as much as she tried not to think about that, she knew it would have a dramatic impact on their relationship.

* * *

Haley was even more confused when Nathan didn't pounce on her once they were back at his place, holed up in his bedroom. Instead, she could swear something was bothering him, as he seemed more interested in talking than making out.

"So did you figure out my birthday present yet?" Nathan asked as he absentmindedly stroked her arm.

"Not quite yet," Haley admitted. "Need any new CD's?" she half-joked.

"You have no excuses this year, Hales. I'm expecting big things," he teased her. "Speaking of presents—" Nathan said half sitting up, reaching into his pocket.

"You don't expect me to have sex with you, do you?" Haley blurted out. She already knew the answer but sex was on her mind now. Still she was surprised to hear her own words as they fell out of her mouth.

Haley could tell he was disturbed at the question.

"You really think that?" Nathan asked, disappointment strewn across his face.

"No, but you'll be eighteen soon and going off to college and I mean, is it really fair for me to expect you to go off to Duke—"

"Haley!" Nathan snapped at her, as he often did when she was blabbing.

"You don't have to get mad at me," Haley said slightly hurt.

"I'm not mad. I'm just frustrated. I don't mean to put pressure on you."

"You aren't," Haley assured him.

"But I am," Nathan said unconvinced. "I don't know how many times I have to say it, Haley. It's not about sex with you. I'll wait as long as it takes."

"But how can you say that when everyone else around us—"

"We're not like them, Hales," Nathan said, his eyes conveying his seriousness. "Look, it's true most of the people who go to Damien's parties are looking for a place to hook up. But I can also guarantee you most of those people aren't planning on a future with that person. They get caught up in the moment and probably end up regretting it later. You and I are in it for the long-haul and I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize that."

"So you'll go to Duke a virgin?"

"What's the alternative, Haley?" Nathan asked annoyed. "You want to break up? Is that it?"

"No!" Haley said quickly.

"I don't know what you want from me then," Nathan said running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry I'm being difficult."

"You're not. It's just…I wish you would believe me. I wish you could trust me with what I'm telling you."

"I do. Look, can we just forget about this whole thing? I mean, I have to be home soon and we need to take advantage of this alone time."

Haley moved on top of him and began to kiss him in a frantic effort to take the edge off the tension that was lingering in the air. When her hands drifted to the buttons of his jeans, Nathan tugged at her hand, forcing her to stop.

"Don't," Nathan said softy.

"Why?" Haley pressed him.

"I'm just not…in the mood."

Haley looked down at his jeans and saw an entirely different message. "Please? I just want us to be okay again."

"We are. I just need to calm down a bit."

"Can we at least kiss?"

Unable to resist her any further, Nathan pulled her heads toward him and their lips met as they both struggled to let go of their uneasiness. With minutes the tension in the air shifted, as the kisses turned passionate. Nathan's hands cupped Haley's ass and her hands moved back down to his jeans. This time, Nathan didn't stop her, as she unbuttoned them and pulled down his zipper. As she struggled to push then down a bit further, she saw something fall of his pocket.

Nathan watched as Haley bent over and picked it up.

"Nathan! Why do you have this?" Haley asked, her eyes lighting up. "I can't believe you lied to me!"

"Just let me explain," Nathan pleaded. "It was in the beach house…"

* * *

_Nathan pulled back the covers of his bed and found nothing. He then looked under the bed and still found nothing. He looked again on the bed and wondered if the sheets had been cleaned. Rachel walked in just as he was sniffing the sheets._

"_Trying to get a whiff of Haley?" Rachel began to toy with him._

"_You're sick, you know that? I was trying to find out if Marie was in to clean the sheets. Has she been around?"_

"_Why, you lose something?" Rachel tested him._

_Nathan straightened up. "What do you know, Rachel?"_

"_I know that…" Rachel began to walk around his room as she spoke, "…you and Haley skipped school. I also know that you spent some of that in your bedroom…Or your bed to more precise. I also know 'little miss perfect' got so drunk she puked her guts out."_

"_I wonder where you found all that out," Nathan said sarcastically._

"_Dad didn't know about the bed part. But you see, I actually have some evidence to prove that, thanks to Marie."_

"_Give it back, Rachel," Nathan said through his gritted teeth._

"_What exactly are you referring to, big brother?"_

"_Don't mess with me!" Nathan shouted, as he banged his fist on the night table, causing her to jump. "You know damn well what I'm talking about!"_

_Nathan noticed her fists clenched and began to wonder if she was holding the answer in one of them. He walked over and picked up one of her hands and realized it was shaking. When he saw the other one was too, that's when it hit him. He slowly looked up and saw the glazed over look in her eyes._

"_Fuck!" Nathan cursed himself. He put her hands to Rachel's shoulders and tried to look directly in her eyes. It was hard though, as he couldn't seem to find the exact direction they were aiming at. "Rachel? Rachel? I'm sorry, Rach," Nathan said desperately. "I didn't mean to upset you."_

_Rachel took a deep breath and then her body went limp, falling into Nathan's arms. He carefully lifted her and carried her into her bedroom. After laying her on her bed, he picked up the phone and called his father._

_Once he was sure Dan was on his way, Nathan began to brace himself for his father's reaction. _

_Nathan took a seat on the side of Rachel's bed and rested his heads in this hands, wondering how this all happened. When he remembered what he was there looking for, Nathan walked over to Rachel's bureau. He began looking around, but couldn't seem to find anything on the surface. He began opening drawers and before long, he found exactly what he was looking for. He felt both relieved and disgusted._

* * *

"You didn't tell me that," Haley said softly after hearing his recount.

"I know," Nathan admitted with a guilty sigh. "But I am now."

"What did your dad do?"

"Well I left after he went in with her. Then, when we went out to dinner he asked me about it, and told me she took a nutty on him when she woke up. He didn't know what to do and so I guess he just kind of watched her and she smashed the mirrors in her bedroom and the bathroom before he could stop her."

"Wow." Guilt began to creep in to Haley as she thought more about the chain of events that lead to that Rachel's latest meltdown. "You didn't have to do that, Nathan. I feel terrible."

"You shouldn't, Hales. I'm definitely the one who triggered it. I really thought I was getting better at this anger thing I have, but she just really knows how to push my buttons."

"It's not your fault, Nathan."

"At least my father can't deny how screwed up she is anymore."

"What do you think he's going to do?"

"He and my mom are already fighting about it. The problem is that Rachel is really excited about the wedding and my mom doesn't want to mess that up."

"It's in April?"

"Yeah and if she goes away some place, she won't get to go to the wedding. I guess they're probably going to hold off for now and just do some outpatient therapy and keep a close eye on her." Haley nodded. "So are you mad at me? I wanted to save one thing for Valentine's Day. I wanted to give it to you before the party, but you weren't in a good mood and then, that's why I brought you here…"

Haley smiled brightly at him. "Put this where it belongs, will you?"

Nathan took the ring from Haley and smiled back. "I added something to it. Another engraving."

Haley looked at the inside of her ring, the one Nathan had given her for her 16th birthday and saw engraving now read "_N.S. + H.J: Always and Forever_." Tears welled in Haley's eyes as she was upset with herself for ever doubting his intentions.

"I mean it, Hales. I'll love you always and forever, even if you can be a brat sometimes."

Haley was both touched and amused at his words. "Oh, how sometimes I wish people could see the sweet, soft, sentimental Nathan Scott, I love. But the truth is, I'm happy to have you all to myself."

"That you do!" Nathan said, putting his hands behind his head.

Nathan watched as Haley went back to pushing down his pants and boxers, leaving him fully exposed. His eyes widened as she lowered her mouth to that area.

"Haley! You don't have to do that…"

Haley looked up and smiled confidently. "But I want to." She went back to work, feeling good that she felt comfortable taking one more step forward sexually in her relationship with Nathan. She wasn't sure exactly when she'd be ready, but she decided it was best to just let nights like this happen naturally and just like now, she would just know when the time was right.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "Feeling a Moment" (Feeder)

AN: Hope you didn't lose interest over my break in posts! Honestly, I'm not thrilled with the writing in this chapter. I was at a low-point in terms of confidence in my writing when I wrote it. It is the end of an arc, and the next one revs up the drama and focuses on basketball! I am a sports-nut BTW. I come from family obsessed with sports (my cousin plays D1 football), I coach, all of my guy friends coach (there are ten of them and they all coach different teams), but most of all, I am an avid fan of all sports and believe high school sports are the best games to watch. So, sports will always be a part of any stories I write! My guy friends have given me some great quotes lately that have inspired me with future plans for what is in my head for Naley end game, which would be way off in the future! I am still planning on writing it, not sure if I'll post though.

Happy reading! I would love to hear from you! At this point, there is just one Naley milestone left to hit….unless I missed any? Still taking requests!


	32. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 31: "Feeling a Moment" (Feeder)

"No one makes prime rib like you do, Mrs. James," Nathan said just as he ate the last bite off his plate.

"Well, I can teach Haley how to make it some time," Lydia said with a sly smile.

"Hey! Why me? Nathan is perfectly capable of learning how to cook his own meal!" It was then that she noticed both Lydia and Nathan trying to stifle their laughter. "Ha, ha," Haley said letting them know she was now in the joke.

"You make is so easy," Nathan laughed as Haley glared at him. "I guess I better take that lesson, Mrs. James, because it doesn't look like Haley will ever do some cooking for me, even if it is my birthday."

"You better watch it, mister! I haven't even given you your birthday present yet," Haley reminded him.

"I don't need any more CD's," Nathan shot back. "What I really want is for you to take some cooking lessons from your mom!"

"I'll take cooking lessons, when you learn how to iron your clothes and do your own laundry! I bet you've never even touched the washing machine."

"I don't have to. We have help to do that, Haley, and when I'm making the big bucks in the NBA, I'll be more than happy to hire some help so you never have to do that either, but I still want you to learn how to make this meal."

"I still don't see why you can't learn," Haley said returning to her earlier point.

"You're worse than Jimmy and I! You two are already like an old married couple!" Lydia said as she took Nathan's plate.

Haley and Nathan shared a quick smile at the reference.

"In that case, can I stay out a little late tonight, Mom? Nathan's mom is having a cake and then I want him to look over my lit essay."

"Sure. I'm probably going to go to bed early tonight so just lock up when you come in."

"Thanks, Mom."

A few minutes later, Haley and Nathan headed out. As they walked, Nathan looked curiously at Haley who was bubbling with excitement as she bobbed along beside him.

"Is it your birthday or mine?" Nathan teased her.

"I'm just excited to give you your present!"

Nathan looked at her, confused. She wasn't carrying anything and he had no idea what she could be referring to.

"Okay," Nathan said slowly. "Will I be getting this present before or after I help you with your essay? What is it on anyway? You didn't tell me."

"Actually," Haley began biting her lip, "I don't have a lit essay."

Nathan stopped and looked at her. "Then why did you—"

"I know your mom is heading out to her group therapy tonight."

"So you lied?"

"I fibbed," Haley clarified. "What? Is it so bad that I wanted a little alone time with my boyfriend on his birthday?"

"I don't know," Nathan said looking away from her. He hated it when she lied to her parents, especially when it involved him.

Haley knew, as soon as she said it, that Nathan would be upset with her. She hadn't planned on lying to her mother, as the thought just popped into her head and then just as suddenly it was out of her mouth. She didn't think it was such a big deal and since it was between her and her mom, and really hoped he would just get over it. "Don't be mad, Nathan. You really didn't want to help me with my lit work did you?" Haley felt relieved as she witnessed a small smile escape Nathan's lips.

"I guess not," he admitted.

* * *

"Are you ready for your present?" Haley asked as she bounced on her toes.

Nathan eyed her suspiciously since he still hadn't seen any indication of such a present. He had kept his eyes peeled all night for the gift, but he couldn't spot anything. Then, when she had suggested they head to his bedroom, he half-wondered if she'd stashed something there when he wasn't looking. As he sat on his bed and looked around once again, there were no signs of such a gift. The suspense was starting to kill him. "I'm ready."

"Close your eyes," Haley instructed him.

After a minute went by, Nathan asked, "Can I open them?"

"No!...I'm actually kind of nervous now."

"Haley, I'm sure I'm going to love it, really. I was just teasing you earlier."

"Well, thing is…I didn't know what to get you…You have, like, everything. Then, the other problem is that I don't have the Scott family fortune like you do! So I can't afford Hummers, or concerts, heck, I can't even pay off my cell phone bill right now! But you know, this did cost a bit more than I expected, but that's okay. I picked up one extra shift and then I had this really good customer who tipped—"

"I'm opening my eyes," Nathan warned her. In front of him he saw Haley simply standing in front of him. She had shed the green button down sweater she had on earlier and was now just wearing a white laced trimmed tank top and a pair of jeans. "Hales? Where is it?"

"Here. I'm it." Haley took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing," she muttered as she began to unbutton her jeans.

"Haley!" Nathan reached for her hands in attempt to stop her.

Haley laughed softly as brushed away his hands. "It's not what you think. Trust me." She slowly turned around, her back facing him and slightly pulled down her jeans. She knew it wasn't really necessary, but she wanted him to have a clear view of her surprise, as she pulled up the bottom of her tank top.

Nathan's mouth dropped open, stunned. "You got a tattoo?"

Haley twisted her head around, trying to get a glimpse of his face. She could still see the look of shock on his face. "Did you see? It's 23! And blue like the Ravens!"

"Yeah, I see that." Nathan ran his finger along the site of the tattoo, which was right above her ass. "It's real," he noted in disbelief.

Haley laughed. "Of course it is! I got it a couple of days ago and that's why I've been trying to keep your hands off me!" Haley turned back around and took a seat sideways in his lap, putting her arms around his neck. "What do you think?"

"I think it's a big deal…and you didn't have to—"

Haley put her finger to his lips. "Don't finish that sentence," she said sternly. "It's done. So tell me what you think."

"I just hope you don't regret it someday," Nathan said genuinely concerned.

"I won't. I mean, when I look back at this, it will always remind me of how I feel right now. Today. When I'm with you." Haley looked deep into his eyes to convey her seriousness.

"And how's that?" Nathan asked, running his hand over the spot of the tattoo.

"Completely, hopelessly, in love with you!" Haley laughed as she tried to kiss him, but he fell back and pulled down her on top him instead. When he tried to kiss her, she pulled back and hovered just above his lips. "Tell…me…what…you…think!" she demanded.

"I think…it is the best gift I've ever gotten," Nathan declared with a wide smile. He used his free hand to bring her head lower and kiss her. "I noticed you're wearing a thong too. Is that also one of my gifts?" he smirked.

"No, I wore it for me," Haley retorted.

"Right," Nathan laughed. "So, tell me about this tattoo. Does anyone know? Did you go alone?"

"I went alone, but Lucas found out."

* * *

"_Luke? I'm all out of balloons. Can we please call a truce?" Haley asked meekly as she remained hidden from his view._

"_Is it a real truce or a trick truce?" Lucas' voice asked back skeptically._

"_It's a real truce, I promise!"Haley crossed her fingers as she answered. _

"_Okay."_

"_Okay." Haley slowly came out of her hiding spot, clutching her last water balloon, under her jacket. "Or not!" _

_As soon as Lucas was in her view, she grabbed her balloon and took aim. Before she could throw it, Lucas nailed her with one of his own. He then grabbed her from behind, crushing the water balloon she'd been clutching, causing it to soak her jeans. "You are so lucky!" Haley laughed as she was now sure they were out of all their balloons. _

_As Haley turned around to face him, she noticed him looking curiously at her. "What?"_

"_What's on your back?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_Haley, is that a tattoo?"_

"_No, no. It's nothing."_

"_Haley," Lucas said unconvinced. She took a deep breath and allowed him to slowly turn her around to get a look at it. "So, you got a tattoo without me?"_

"_It's a surprise! Please, Luke, you can't tell him!"_

"_I would have gone with you, Hales! I've always wanted one too, except on my bicep. How'd you pull it off? I thought you were supposed to be 18."_

_Haley smiled broadly. "I used the fake id Rachel gave me for my birthday!"_

* * *

"You had a water balloon fight without me? Where was I?" Nathan asked offended.

"Playing xbox? Going for a run? Working out? Practicing your free-throws in the driveway?" Haley listed off a few of his favorite activities. Nathan rolled his eyes at her, letting he know none of these things were valid excuse. "Don't you start that with me, Nathan Scott!" Haley pointed her finger at him. "You think I'm only supposed to have fun when I'm with you?"

"What's wrong with that?" Nathan teased.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Nathan looked at her seriously. Their entire exchange had been joking, but he wanted to be sure she knew that. He was going to going off to college next year and the last thing he wanted was Haley misunderstanding the intent behind his words. "You know, that not true, Hales, right?"

"I know."

"So now, tell how me you thought of this," Nathan asked as he fingered the tattoo. "I never would have thought you would have done something like that…"

"I decided after I lost, or thought I lost, the ring you gave me that I wanted to get one. I was so upset and I tried to tell myself it was just an object but….I just missed it and I felt horrible. See, with the tattoo, I'll always have a piece of you with me, that I can't lose."

Nathan could sense a deeper meaning in her words, as he had been thinking about the same thing a few minutes earlier. "You're worried about next year?"

"A little," Haley confessed. "I try not to think about it."

"Duke is only two hours away, Hales."

"I know. I'm just so used to having you here—right down the street! I mean, what if I don't even get to see you on your birthday next year!"

"That's not going to change how I feel about you."

"And how's that?" Haley playfully asked, already knowing the answer.

"Completely,… hopelessly,… in love …with you." Nathan's words were slow and deliberate and his blue eyes were severe; both of which took her breath away.

"Nathan…" It was all Haley could manage to say.

Once they began to kiss, Nathan rolled them on their sides, all the while, keeping his hand on the tattoo.

"You think I could get a closer look at my birthday present?" Nathan whispered, as his kisses traveled just outside her ear.

"Mmm Hmm."

Nathan gently turned her so she was lying on her stomach and tugged at her jeans, until they were all the way off. Nathan felt a rush go through his body as he took in the sight of her, with the tattoo slightly above the band of the thong. He lightly fingered the band and then shifted down and began kissing the tattoo.

Haley relaxed, as best she could with her emotions running wild, as she took in the touch of his lips as they moved up her back as he pushed up her shirt. They had developed a routine over the past couple of weeks and Haley knew before long, her shirt would be off. Then, his shirt would come off, she would make sure of that, and eventually she'd pry his jeans off as well. She waited, growing wild with anticipation, as he moved on top of her, his mouth moving to her neck.

She had to admit that this was what she had been looking forward to all day. This was even more exciting than showing him the tattoo, which was something she had been hiding for a couple of days. She had been longing for the time when they would explore each other's bodies and make each other feel such passion and joy, as they had been as they grew more sexually intimate. She still couldn't believe how Nathan could do things to her with hands and mouth that just made her tingle with excitement as she thought about it, which she did frequently. It was definitely the motivation behind her fib to her mother as she felt her body craving his after just a few days apart.

Nathan moved back down and kissed her tattoo one more time, before gently turning her over. He shook his head, as he saw Haley lying there with a bright smile on his face. If he didn't know better, he would think she was just as excited as he was. Knowing how he felt, and the anticipation building inside him, he knew that just wasn't possible. Feeling very hot, he took off his shirt.

He looked curiously at Haley as she giggled. "What?"

"Usually, I have to make you take that off. You're throwing me off tonight!"

"Maybe I've just learned what you like," Nathan said huskily as he moved on top her, wasting no time as he moved his hands up her shirt to cradle breasts.

This was true. At this point, Nathan had technically done everything with Haley that he done with other girls. There had been no comparison, however. Even though when they started, he had more sexual experience than Haley, every time they moved forward was new and exciting to him. He found it made such a difference experiencing these things with someone you loved. Before, he'd never thought about how close you could feel when you were intimate with someone, because he hadn't felt that way. With Haley, it was different. He felt such a thrill learning all the different ways she responded to him. He knew if he pinched her right under her ribs, she'd squeal with laughter, but if ran is thumb in circles over the same area, it relaxed her. Every time they were together like this, he felt like he learned something new about her. She was also learning the same kinds of things about him, although she was often looking for reassurance from him as she did that, which just turned him on even more. Then, there were times when Haley got so caught up in the moment and became the aggressive one, which just always just blew his mind, as it was so unexpected. He loved that side of her and always tried his best to bring it out.

It was also a relief to Nathan now that they shared all the same types of sexual experiences. Now, he was _just like her_, although, he assumed he was probably more anxious to finally go all the way. As much as he tried to control himself, the thought of moving even further ahead and both experiencing things together for the first time, was something he thought about _all of the time_.

He was caught off-guard, however, with Haley's next words, which she uttered as their eyes locked.

"Nathan, what would you say if I told you I wanted to have sex with you?"

Nathan immediately felt conflicted. He wanted to have sex with Haley, almost more than anything. The thing was, he knew deep down, she wasn't ready. She was close, but he could sense that she was not quite there yet. He couldn't explain it; it was just something he felt. He shifted next to her, propping himself up on his elbow. "What would you want me to say?" Nathan asked her seriously.

"You can't answer a question with a question!"

"Haley,…I don't know what you want me to say."

"Say what you're thinking," she pressed him.

"I don't think you're ready," he admitted.

"I'm almost there, Nathan. I just can't seem to figure out how it's going to happen."

"What do you mean?"

"I think the thing that's holding me back is I can't picture it." Haley realized how silly this must sound and quickly tried to explain herself. "I mean, I can picture 'it.' I think about 'it' all the time."

"You do?" Nathan asked with a surprised smile.

"Yes," Haley admitted with a slight blush sweeping across her cheeks. "I just can't picture the other stuff, like, where, or when, and what comes after…and I'm kind of afraid it might change things."

"I don't want to sound too cheesy, Hales, but I think it's just going to bring us closer. I mean it's going to be both of our first times, you know? We'll always have that."

"I know, but then what? Will we just, like, do it all the time? How can we? I just don't get how people can sneak off at a party and have sex, sleazy and random, and then just come back, like nothing happened. I thought it was supposed to be _special_. _I want it to be special with us_."

"It will be," Nathan assured her, as she brushed his hand through her hair. "It's not going to be sleazy or random."

"Then where and when? I don't want it be when our parents are out and we are worried about them coming back, not for our first time anyway. Plus, I'd really like to spend the whole night with you. I want you to hold me and I want us to fall asleep together and wake up together..."

"Then, that's what we'll do. I don't know how, yet, but when you're ready, I promise you, it will be just like you imagined."

Then, a huge smile crept across Nathan's face and Haley knew he already had an idea. "What?" she asked excitedly.

"I am allowed to take a date to Coop's wedding…It's all the way in Charlotte and we rented hotel rooms where the reception is being held…"

Haley's eyes lit up. "That's perfect!" Then, her heart sunk as she began to think it through. "My parents will never let me go, Nathan. They'll know I'm going to stay with you and…Wait!" Haley smiled again. "I'll tell them I'm going with Rachel and that I'm going to stay with her. I bet that would work!"

"No," Nathan said sternly.

"Nathan!"

"I said no. You're not lying to your parents like that, Haley. Not for me anyway. I don't want any part of it. We'll figure something else out…"

"But, Nathan…"

"There's no rush, Haley. I promise I'll think of something. Can we just enjoy each other for right now?"

Not wanting to ruin the special night she had been anticipating, Haley decided to let it go for now. She ran her fingers up his chest and then pulled him close to her. "Now you're talking. See, now aren't you happy I don't have to get right home?"

Nathan rolled his eyes at her, letting her know, he still wasn't happy about her lying. Then, Haley's broad smile became contagious; as Nathan couldn't hide the fact that he was happy she was allowed to stay.

"You are a troublemaker," Nathan said as he began to take her tank top off.

* * *

"Thanks for coming, Nathan."

Nathan took a seat on the couch and watched as his father fixed himself a drink. He began to grow uneasy as Dan immediately drank the entire thing and then fixed himself another one. Nathan waited for him to take a seat, but when it was apparent that was not going to happen, he decided it was time to find out why he was summoned over to his father's house so urgently.

"So what's going on with Rachel?"

"Rachel?"

"She wasn't in school today so I figured something was going on?"

Dan shook his head in disgust. "Something's going on with her alright, but no, it's not about her."

"What then?"

"Things have changed, Nathan."

Right away, Nathan noticed that his father was having trouble looking him in the eye. That was not a good sign. A pit began to form in Nathan's stomach as he silently chastised himself for coming. "Just spit it out, Dad."

"Daunte is back in town and he paid me a visit today. It seems Damien isn't be seriously scouted and his prospects are looking bleak for next year."

"What do you want me to do, Dad? The guy can't make a free-throw if his life depended on it!" Nathan yelled.

"I know that! That's the problem!" Dan yelled back. He then took a deep breath and began to speak in normal tone. "We have to deal with this. Maybe you can work with him? At the very least, you need to work on making him look better than he is. I'm pretty sure Duke's a lock for you so now you just need to focus on—"

"I can't do that, Dad! The whole team practically hates him and there's no way they're going to pass him the ball if they don't need to. I can't change that."

"You have to figure something out," Dan stated with determination. "There's nothing I can do about it."

"Ha!" Nathan scoffed. He stood up and began pacing. "You're the one who got us into this mess! Tell me, Dad, was it worth it?" Nathan looked Dan square in the eye. "Having all that power? Making money illegally? Bribing your way out of problems?"

Dan took a minute to respond as the two men stood face to face, eyeing each other. "There are things _you don't know_, son, and you can be sure _I know a lot more than you think I do_," Dan said slowly.

Nathan swallowed hard. From the look in his father's eye, he could tell it had something to do with Rachel and that night when they were kids. His parents had never talked with him about that night; not even once. He was sure they had talked to Rachel about it; most likely starting with the therapy sessions that Rachel had one of her episodes at school. Nathan was never included in those sessions and was never sure exactly how much was revealed. He still wasn't sure how much his parent knew, other than that they needed to stop having Carrie as a nanny. Eventually, the therapy sessions stopped, his parents started going away again, with Rachel and Nathan staying at the James house instead of with a nanny. Then, at least as far he could tell, for his parents, it was like it never happened.

Except it did happen.

Haley and Nathan were the ones left to deal with Rachel. Or was he wrong? Was there more to it? What exactly was his father referring to?

"What are you talking about?" Nathan asked cautiously. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

"Someday, I might have to tell you, but that day is not today. It wouldn't do either of us any good. You have to trust me here, Nathan. Everything I do is what's in the best interests of this family."

But Nathan didn't trust his father. That was the problem.

"I can't. I won't don't it," Nathan said defiantly.

"What reason would I have to ask you do this?" Dan asked angrily. "Don't you think I've tried everything?"

"No, I don't. I think you're just trying to protect your own ass. Your position as mayor. Your business investments. Heck, even your school record! I guess, in the end, it's all about your ego and you're just sorry that I'm the only one who's finally able to put a dent in it!"

Nathan felt himself reaching his limit. His heart was racing. Sweat began to drip down the side of his face, which he could feel burning up. His mind was spinning. Next would be the shortness of breath.

He grabbed his car keys and made a swift exit.

As soon as he was out of view of the house, he pulled his car over and reached for his phone. He pulled up Haley's number and hesitated. He wanted to call her. He was sure, if he just talked to her, if he just heard her voice, it would all go away. Then, he thought about how he didn't want her to have to deal with that. He threw his phone and put his head down on the steering wheel. He tried to focus on all the things Keith had told him. He needed a distraction.

Haley. It was always back to her.

He tried to picture her. She would be at the Tutor Center right now, most likely tutoring that geeky freshmen that he was sure had a crush on her, which she was oblivious to, of course. He pictured her, wearing the outfit he knew she was wearing: a pair of jeans with a rip at the knee, a v-neck grey sweater, showing just a hint of a tank top underneath. He knew by now her hair, which she wore down earlier, would now be up in a messy bun.

Nathan lifted his head from the steering wheel. His breathing was better, but his heart now aching. He just wanted to see Haley. Well, what he really wanted was to feel her; to touch her.

Feeling well enough to drive, he headed towards the high school. He looked at the clock and was saw that Haley should just be finishing up tutoring.

As he got of his car and walked towards the high school he saw her exiting the building. She was walking with Peyton and they were both talking and laughing.

Not wanting to disturb them, he quickly turned around and headed back to his car. Just before he reached his car, he heard Haley call out to him. He reluctantly headed back towards the girls.

"Hey. What are you two up to?" Nathan asked casually.

"We're heading to Jake's to watch Jenny. I thought you had a team dinner tonight?" Haley asked confused. She could already tell there was something off. His eyes always gave him away.

"Oh, yeah." He forgot about that. "I do. I just…" He tried to find a plausible excuse. "I thought I left something here."

Since he was unable to look at her as he said this, Haley knew it wasn't true. She looked over at Peyton. "Can you give us minute?"

"I'll go call Jake and tell him we're on our way," Peyton offered, walking out of earshot range.

"What's going on, Nathan?"'

"Nothing." Nathan shook his head and looked at his feet.

"Don't lie to me, Nathan," Haley said quietly.

"Look, I don't want to bother you with my shit. Not right now, anyway. Go have fun with Peyton and we'll catch up later."

"Nathan…." Haley pressed him.

Knowing she wasn't going to leave until she got something out of him, he tried to give her the simplest version possible. "I'm not sure about tomorrow's game."

"What do you mean? You don't think you'll win?"

"I really just need to get through it. Can we talk about something else? I need to clear my head."

Haley began to worry that there was more riding on this game than just a win. Still, it was clear Nathan didn't want to talk about it and she didn't want to push him. Maybe things would be different the next day. In her experience, sometimes Nathan just needed time to process through things before he could talk to her.

"Why don't we take Lily down the Riverwalk before the game tomorrow? We can go get her after school."

Nathan smiled. "We could do that…"

Haley wrapped her arms around Nathan's neck. "I love you," she said looking into his eyes.

Nathan grabbed her and hugged her tight. He closed his eyes and took in her touch, her smell. Her head was pressed up against his chest, exactly the way he'd imagined. He knew he'd regret it later, as he had tried so hard not to need her in this way, but for now, he let her calm him down. "I love you, too, Hales."

Nathan's grip on her was so tight, that it made her hesitant to pull away. She felt his body relax and began to sense what was going on. He needed her. He had come to see her. He didn't want to admit it, but that had to be it.

"Are you okay?" Haley asked when he finally pulled away.

"I am now. Go." He pointed toward Peyton, who was off in the distance, standing around looking bored. "Have fun with Jenny. I'm going to go to the dinner."

Nathan gave her a deep, full kiss, followed by a quick one on the cheek and then returned to his car. Haley watched as he drove off and then caught up with Peyton.

"That seemed intense," Peyton noted. "Then again, it's always that way with you two."

"What you mean? Aren't you and Jake like that too?" Haley asked, slightly irritated. Now that she was aware that every other couple but she and Nathan were having sex, she had begun looking at them differently. She tried to find differences between them and her and Nathan; in the way they acted toward each other and other people. So far, she hadn't been able to pick up on anything, which confused her even more.

Haley was also getting a little sick of people rushing to judgment about them. As intense as they might look, they were still holding back when it came to sex. She wondered about how things would change once they did finally take that step. Would there be a difference in the way they acted? What would people see then?

Haley did want to take the step with Nathan, after all and she was just about ready. She could feel herself getting closer every time they were intimate. Although she couldn't imagine feeling closer to Nathan, if there was a way for that to happen, then she wanted it. Then, there was the whole of other issues of her raging hormones. The things Nathan was doing to her could literally drive her crazy. Sometimes, all he had to do was look at her and it would send her heart into overdrive. Then, when he touched her, that was the end of it. She found her body taking control of her mind as it responded to him and, thus, far it always left her wanting for more. So now she wanted him, _all of him_, but she just hadn't been able to figure out when exactly would be the right time. Coop and Jules' wedding presented an opportunity, but Nathan had been adamant about not taking advantage of it since it involved deceiving her parents.

"No, Jake and I are nothing like you and Nathan," Peyton said confidently.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Haley asked even more frustrated.

"Whoa! I didn't mean anything by that," Peyton said, sensing she had hit a nerve. "It's just," Peyton lowered her voice, "we haven't had sex."

Haley was unable to hide her shock. "You're kidding me?"

"No, I'm not. See it's different for Jake—"

"We haven't had sex, either!" Haley blurted out.

"You're kidding?" Haley shook her head at Peyton. "I guess I just assumed."

"So did I!" Haley admitted, feeling guilty. "So, why not? If you don't mind my asking…"

"Well, it's kind of hard to think about sex when we have Jenny."

"Oh." Haley hadn't thought about how Jenny must complicate everything. "It must be hard to deal with her, along with everything else…"

"It is," Peyton agreed. "I mean, I love her, and God knows I love Jake, but it is hard. Sometimes I feel like it's hard for Jake to trust me because of what happened with Nikki. Then, there's the whole 'here's what happens when you have sex' thing, that he deals with on a daily basis. That kind of kicks us in the face every time."

"Have you talked about it?"

"Kind of, but not seriously. All Jake says is that sex changes everything and he's happy the way things are."

"What about you? What do you think?"

"I think he's probably right, but part of me wishes we were both normal teenagers."

"What does that make Nathan and me, then? I guess we're not normal…"

"I think it's cool, Haley, that you're waiting. Maybe we should start a club or something. How does 'Clean Teens' sound?" Peyton playfully nudged her.

Haley laughed. "Right. Well, the thing is, Peyton, I'm not sure how much longer Nathan and I are going to last. You might be the only member of that club."

"If that's the case, I hope you're on the pill," Peyton said seriously. "I am, just in case, you know, we ever get caught up in the moment."

"I know. I should probably go down to family planning." Peyton looked at her curiously. "I don't want my mom to know," Haley explained.

"Why? I thought your mom was cool and you two were close."

"Yeah, but my parents are kind of freaked out about sex after what my older sister Taylor put them through."

"I've heard about her," Peyton sympathized. "Okay, so here we are," Peyton said as they arrived at Jake's house. "Are you ready to spend the night with the best kind of birth control out there?"

"Oh, but she is cute, Peyton," Haley said as they walked up the doorway.

"She is," Peyton agreed. "But you know what's better? Your freedom…" Peyton whispered in her ear.

* * *

Haley was pushing Lily in her stroller, with Nathan by her side when they both saw projectile vomit spewing from in the front of the stroller. They looked at each other stunned and were promptly interrupted by a blood-curdling scream from Lily. They rushed around to Lily and were just in time to witness her puke again, this time, all over herself.

"Oh, God," Nathan muttered, as he began to gag.

Haley grabbed the diaper bag, got out some wipes and did a quick wipe down of Lily before she picked her up to comfort her. "You're such a wuss!"

Once she had calmed down Lily was best she could, she headed to a nearby public restroom to change Lily and finish cleaning her up. She instructed Nathan to watch the stroller and wait for her there.

"Well, well, well. Isn't it Dan Scott's son? Nathan, right? We've been hoping to run into you." Nathan didn't need to turn around to know it was Daunte Jones. When he did turn around, he saw Daunte, who was dressed in beige business suit, accompanied by a tall, heavily jacked man, wearing black pants and wife-beater with tattoos on his biceps. Nathan hadn't seen him before, but it was clear he was the muscle to Daunte's operation. Nathan quickly glanced at the entrance to the restroom, anticipating Haley coming out any second with Lily. He knew he didn't want these guys anywhere near them, and needed to act fast.

"Me too," Nathan lied. "Let's go for a walk." Daunte looked at Nathan skeptically. "Let's get some privacy."

Bear and Daunte looked at each other and laughed. "That's just what we were thinking," Daunte said with a wide smile.

Nathan began to follow the men, pausing as they headed across the street and down a deep, narrow alley. He hadn't exactly planned on being that private. He looked back at the restrooms and saw Haley walk out, Lily in her arms, as she began looking around for Nathan after seeing the stroller unattended.

Nathan quickly turned down the alley, praying she didn't see him. He came to a stop, midway through the alley, a couple of feet away from the men. "So, who's this?" Nathan asked dryly.

"This is one of my business associates—Bear." Bear stood with his arms crossed, making no moment. "Bear and I are old friends of your father, you see. We go way back. Your father hired us once when you were just a kid. Remember that, Bear?" Bear smirked at Daunte, but said nothing.

Nathan didn't know what to make of this. He feared his father was into all kinds of illegal things, but he never suspected it could be this deep. If he hired someone like Bear, it had to be to threaten, or maybe even hurt someone. He could see no other purpose for getting involved with someone like Bear.

"So, I've heard you haven't been following my orders. You remember what I told you would happen?"

Nathan quickly tried to explain himself. "It's not that easy—"

Before Nathan could finish, Bear grabbed him from behind and put him in a headlock. Nathan tried to kick his way out of hit, but his attempts proved to be futile. The guy had obviously done this many times before and was able to use his free arm to hold up one of Nathan's legs.

"Say goodbye to basketball," Daunte warned him as he eyed his leg.

It was then that he saw the pipe in Daunte's hand. He held up the pipe and Nathan began to brace himself.

He closed his eyes and heard the sound of metal banging against metal. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Daunte had hit a set of pipes instead of his leg. Bear let him go and Nathan struggled to regain his breath.

"That was my final warning. You make Damien look good. Don't you do anything to take the attention away from him. I don't care how you do it, but you do it. Are we clear?"

Nathan looked him in the eye as he still struggled with his breathing. Tonight was the first night of playoffs, Duke was sending some scouts, and it could be the night he would break the school's and his father's, all-time scoring record. Thirty points would do it and the guys were all planning on feeding him the ball. If it could just wait one more game, it would be so much easier…

"Nathan!"

All three of them looked at the top of the alley for the source of the voice, and saw Haley, protectively pressing Lily close to her body.

"That must be your pretty, little girlfriend. Let's go introduce ourselves."

Daunte and Bear slowly backed away from Nathan and began to walk towards Haley.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "It's Not My Time" (3 Doors Down)

AN: Things are picking up now! Buckle your seat belts! If you're reading, I would love to know what you're thinking, unless everyone's on vacation? Lots of other great fics out, too! In any case, hope you enjoyed and hope to hear from you soon!


	33. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 32: "It's Not My Time" (3 Doors Down)

Haley began to panic as she saw the two tall men beginning to walk towards her. The man in the business suit had a smile plastered across his face and the other guy, the one with the large muscles, looked very intimidating. She wanted to call for help, but still wasn't entirely sure what was going on. She felt a little better when she saw Nathan swoop past them so he was first to reach her.

"What's going on?" Haley asked, as Nathan stood in front of her.

"I'll explain later." Nathan turned around, blocking Haley from them men's view just as they caught up with them. "Look, we're good, okay?" Nathan addressed the men.

"I'm the one who decides that, Nate. Let's just hope you have a good game tonight and you know what we mean by 'good game.' The whole town will be watching you." Daunte sidestepped Nathan and looked Haley up and down. "You know, I thought your father would have taught you more about respect. Aren't you going to introduce us?"

"We were just leaving. Haley, go get the stroller," Nathan instructed her sternly.

Haley nodded at him and crossed the street heading back towards where they had left the stroller, which was still right outside the restrooms.

"Leave her out of this," Nathan said through his clenched teeth. Whereas he had been on the verge of a panic attack when he was alone the alley with Bear and Daunte, the second Haley and Lily had entered the picture, his mind had shifted into protective mode. He knew his heart was still racing, but he couldn't feel it, and it wasn't something he was thinking about. The only thing he could think about was getting the girls away from these guys.

Daunte laughed at Nathan. "You know, Nathan, I've never laid a hand on a girl before. That's why your dad started doing business with me. I guess there's a first time for everything, though. Here's my final tip, Nathan. Just _pass the ball_ and then we won't have to worry about that." Daunte and Bear left Nathan standing there as they walked back towards the alley.

Once they were out of sight, Nathan began to again feel the pounding of his heart. As he began hear it as well, he began to take slow, deep breaths as he walked back towards Haley, who had just finished putting Lily back in the stroller.

As soon as Haley stood up, Nathan grabbed hold of her and hugged her tightly. Haley immediately knew what was going on and put her hand to his chest and felt him relax. They both finally looked up when they heard Lily babbling, as she pointed at nearby set of birds. The tension in the air lifted as they chuckled and Nathan went over and took Lily out of the stroller and brought her closer to what she was pointing at. Haley stood back, letting Nathan get caught up in having a brief moment of fun and peace with his younger cousin.

A couple of minutes later, Nathan returned, but refused to put Lily back in the stroller. He just wanted to hold her for the rest of the walk. He couldn't explain it, but holding Lily, who was oblivious to anything other than birds at the moment, helped him relax and gave him the distraction he was looking for.

"Suit yourself. Just remember, she just finished puking," Haley reminded him, as they began to head back towards the café.

"She's fine now. Besides, she would never do that to me," Nathan said confidently.

They walked in silence for a few minutes until Haley finally spoke up. "Nathan…" Haley's tone was serious and he knew she wanted him to talk to her.

"Not now. Let's just get her back to the café. You think Lucas will be there?"

"Probably. I was planning on meeting Brooke and Peyton there to go to the game, so I would guess they will all be there, maybe Jake too."

Nathan's heavy sign let Haley knew that he wasn't looking forward to seeing all of them.

"Nathan, let's sit down and talk a bit." When Nathan didn't respond, Haley decided it was time to press him. "You've had two attacks in two days, Nathan. You have to talk to someone. I'm hoping it can be me."

Nathan stopped and looked at her. He honestly thought he had been able to successfully cover yesterday's attack. "You knew?"

"Of course, I knew. I wanted to give you some space, but things are getting worse, Nathan. Just sit and talk to me."

Nathan reluctantly walked over to a nearby bench and took a seat. Haley sat down next to him, and moved Lily over to her lap, hoping it would help him feel more comfortable talking to her.

"Who were those guys?" Haley asked nervously.

"The guy in the suit was Daunte. The other guy was just some muscle guy I'd never seen before."

Haley felt sick at the mention of his name. "So it's back to that again? They want you to make Damien look good."

Nathan gave her a hopeless look. "The problem is, I honestly don't know if I can do what they're asking. It's like Damien's not even trying these days and I can't control how much playing time he gets or if the other guys pass him the ball. Plus, they all want me to break that record tonight since Duke's going to be there. I know they're going to be feeding me the ball, which is just going to make it worse."

"Why don't you tell them? You can trust them, Nathan. Lucas already knows a little anyway, right?"

"It's not that I don't trust them. It's just…if Luke knows, and then I tell Jake, that means Brooke and Peyton will know …and it's bad enough I've dragged you into this." Nathan looked at her and she could tell he was trying his best to hold back his emotions. He looked like he was fighting back tears. "I would never forgive myself if something happened to you…"

"Nothing's going to happen to me," Haley quickly assured him. "Plus, there's safety in numbers. The more people you have looking out for you, the better. I really think you should tell them; all of them. The girls, too. The six of us can come up with something. Trust me, Nathan." Just then, Lily began to babble again as she looked right at Nathan. "See? Even Lily is trying to tell you," Haley joked.

Nathan put his arm around Haley and kissed her cheek. "What would I do without you, Hales?"

"Lucky for you, you'll never have to find that out, because _I'm not going anywhere_," Haley smiled back.

* * *

"Aren't you glad you listened to me?" Haley gloated as she looked at Nathan.

They were sitting outside on Haley's front porch, enjoying the cool light breeze on the warm spring night. The game was over, the Ravens had won, and Duke had liked what they had seen in Nathan. As for Daunte, Haley had paid close attention to him as he watch the game from the stands and was convinced he was now aware of Nathan's plight. Nathan had passed the ball to Damien as much as he could, but Damien hadn't been able to handle the intensity and had missed most of his shots. Then, when they were down by nine at halftime, Whitey had made things easier for Nathan by pulling Damien from the game. Nathan and the rest of the team had been able to get back the lead by the fourth quarter. They had won the game, but Nathan still hadn't broken the record, which had actually worked in his favor with the scouts from Duke. They had been impressed with his increasing assists stats and with his ability to play selflessly instead of chasing the record. They left assuring him they would be in touch during the course of the week with an offer.

"I am, but we've still got a ways to go…"

Nathan knew he wasn't in the clear. The key was to balance the goal of winning games, and thus getting more chances for Damien to get scouted as they advanced in the playoffs, with actually helping Damien to improve as a player. Jake and Lucas had helped him see that and the three of them were planning on inviting Damien out to the River Court so they could help him out. They knew that had to tread carefully though, as Damien was never receptive to taking pointers from _anyone_. So, they planned to work under the guise of just practicing harder for playoffs with some friendly games.

Still, everything was not worked out. They had to win the next four games to make it to the State Championship, which they were favored to do. But now, they stood faced with the additional challenge of _using_ Damien to achieve that goal, and Nathan wasn't so confident they would be able to pull it off. Neither were Lucas and Jake.

"But it's easier with Luke and Jake on your side, right? And your dad's going to talk to Daunte and explain things?"

Nathan looked at Haley didn't want to disappoint her. She had obviously worked out everything in her head, and wanted to hope for the best. That was just her nature. Considering it was her advice that got him this far and convinced him to let his friends help him, he felt he had to give her that.

"Yeah, I'm sure, it'll be fine. My dad was going to call him tonight and tell him about our plan for next couple of games."

"You still think Damien's clueless to all this?"

"I think so, but that son of a bitch is cocky of all of the time, so it's hard to tell. He was riding me in the locker room about not breaking the record tonight! Imagine that! I wanted to crush him!"

"You've come such a long way, Nate," Haley said happily. "Walking away from him like that when he's goading you? Duke is going to be lucky to have someone like you playing for them."

"Don't jinx it, Hales. I'm still waiting for that call…"

"You'll get it. Then, next year at this time, you'll be a Blue Devil playing in March Madness."

Nathan looked at her curiously. "Since when do you know about Duke's mascot and March Madness?"

"I've been doing my research," Haley proudly revealed. "Do girlfriends of the players get special seats?"

Nathan laughed. "You want me to ask them about then when they make their offer?"

"Put it on your list of requests!" Haley demanded. They two of them laughed and then grew silent as they both privately began to consider the realities of the next year and being separated. "You think my parents will let me visit you?" Haley asked quietly.

"I think so. I don't know about spending the night, though. Maybe when you're a senior? I bet they'll let you drive yourself." Nathan then remembered that wasn't even a viable option with how things stood. "Hey, Hales, when are you going to get your license? You've had your permit for over a year now and you barely ever practice…"

Haley rolled her eyes at him. "I don't need to; I have you to drive me around."

"Haley," Nathan said sharply, letting her know she wasn't fooling him, "are you scared?"

Haley shifted uneasily. At this moment, she hated how he knew her so well. "I don't think I'd even pass the test. I'm not good at it."

"You just need some practice. Just like when you were learning to play the piano. Speaking of that, when's the last time—"

"Don't you get on my case about that too! I haven't played since I was in middle school!" Haley said exasperated.

"Why not? I used to like to listen to you play," Nathan said earnestly. "I'd actually kind of want to hear you play, now that you mention it."

"Vivian was the real piano player and she tried to teach me, but…It was kind of our thing and then I just gave it up after she moved away. It's not like I could play now anyway; the piano is not even in tune."

"Right," Nathan said unconvinced. "And it had nothing to with you being an impatient learner?" Nathan challenged her. "I seem to remember you throwing that piano book—"

"I am not impatient!"

"Prove it. How about I take you out driving this weekend?"

"You can't! You're supposed to have had your license for five years!"

"Well then, it's a good thing I have my fake id," Nathan shot back as Haley glared back at him. "Look, we'll start in the mall parking lot, okay?" Haley looked at him unconvinced. "Haley, don't you want to be able to come visit me next year?"

Haley slowly nodded. She knew he was right to push her; she was just insecure about the whole thing. Still, Nathan was the person she trusted the most and she knew if there was anyone who could be patient with her ineptitude, it was him. "Fine," Haley said with resignation.

* * *

"I can't do it, Nathan!" Haley whined in frustration. It was her fifth attempt at parallel parking and she would have stopped at her second attempt if Nathan had let her. His was unrelenting, however, and as much as Haley admired that quality in him, she hated how it as impacting her right now.

"You can't give up, Hales. It's just like with basketball. Every time I wanted to—"

"This is nothing like basketball!" Haley quipped. "For one, you love basketball and I hate parallel parking! Second, this isn't some of type of _stupid game_ that's going to give me some _stupid trophy_! Third, you were born to play basketball, while I on the other hand have some type of spatial disability!"

It appeared as though Haley had more points to offer, but she stopped when Nathan's cell phone started ringing. Haley watched as he looked at his cell phone and turned serious. He opened his car door and motioned that he would be back in a minute. Haley continued to watch as he walked away. She began to grow nervous as he turned his back to her, so that she was unable to read his face. This was odd behavior for him. He always took his calls in front of her.

She began to consider the possibilities of such an important call. Could it be Daunte? Did he have Nathan's number? Did he not understand how hard Nathan was trying? What an impossible situation he was in? Or it could be Dan…Dan could be relaying a message from Daunte. Or maybe it was about Rachel…She hadn't been doing well lately. She was back to skipping school and acting out when she was there.

Haley zoned out on all of these possibilities and didn't see Nathan ending his call and walking over to her side of the car. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Nathan pulled open her door. She watched as he unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her out the car. She quickly scanned his face and relaxed. He was smiling; beaming, in fact.

Nathan wrapped his arms around Haley's waist and pulled her in for long, slow kiss. Haley opened her eyes, and saw that he still had his eyes closed. She could tell he was trying to savor the moment. She could feel the excitement running through his veins, the pulsating rapid beat of his heart, and when he finally opened his eyes, she could swear he was close to tears.

"They called, didn't they?" Haley asked, barely able to keep it together herself.

Nathan smiled wide. "You know that stupid game I was born to play?" Haley immediately began to jump up and down, not caring how he was using her own words against her. "Well, it just gave me a full ride to Duke!"

"Ahhhh!" Haley squealed with delight as he lifted her up and brought her back down. "I knew you could do it!"

"Oh, you did, did you? Funny, you weren't so high on basketball a few minutes ago," Nathan teased her.

"That's because you're wrong." Haley ran her fingers through his hair as she spoke. "Basketball didn't get you the full ride, Nathan. _You did_, with the same determination and focus you've always had."

"I love you, baby," Nathan said looking directly at her.

Haley smiled as his voice and eyes showed the same determination and focus she'd just mentioned. She felt her heart skipping a beat. "I love you, too and I'm so proud of you. So, who do you want to tell first?" Haley asked, her excitement returning.

"Actually, no one right now. I kind of just want to share this with you for a little while. Is that okay?"

Haley was surprised, but touched. He always had a way of making her feel special, even in a moment like this, which was such a monumental achievement _for him_. "Whatever you want, Nathan. This is _your_ moment."

"In that case, what my determination and focus is telling me is that before we celebrate, we need to finish your driving lesson. Back in the car, Hales. You need to parallel park."

"Oh, fuck you, Nathan," Haley playfully spat out. She then narrowed her eyes at him as he walked back around to the passenger's seat, snickering. Even though she was kidding, she wasn't as pleased this time at the way he had used her own words against her.

* * *

"Who would have guessed it works to Nathan's advantage now that he's a point guard and that just so happens that's what Duke needs?" Brooke asked excitedly. "It's like it was meant to be."

"That's just because my guy is so versatile," Haley bragged. "I mean, first he had switch from shooting guard to make room for Luke," Haley rolled her eyes at Brooke, "and then he went to small forward, but now as you can see, he can totally play _any position_."

"Hey, missy, you're just lucky that Jake was the one that thought of switching around all the positions so it could save _your boyfriend's ass_!" Peyton piped in, as she covered Jenny's ears.

"Oh, yeah? Well, who's the one who now holds Tree Hill's highest all time scoring record?" Haley pretended to look around. "Oh, wait! There is he is! Number 23!"

"In case we forgot, all we'd have to do was look at _your ass_!" Brooke said referring to Haley's tattoo, something they had been teasing her since they'd found about it. Haley glared at the girls as Peyton high-fived Brooke.

"Above my ass, actually," Haley corrected her. "And you're both just jealous."

The three girls had been bantering back and forth for pretty much the whole game, as they cheered on their boyfriends who were playing a supposedly "friendly game" of basketball on the River Court. In reality, there were all relieved that things seemed to be going so well and that they were able to even joke about such things. The last three games had been rocky, but they had all ended in victories and Nathan had even been able to finally break his father's and the high school's all time scoring record. Then, in the last game, the one that sent them to the State Championship and had all starters playing newly shifted positions, the team seemed to have found their groove. Now, they were just fine tuning some plays as they prepared for tomorrow night's big game.

"Well, I guess we'll see who's better next year when UNC takes on Duke!" Peyton smiled at Haley.

By now, Jake had signed on with UNC, which worked out great since it allowed him to stay close to both Jenny and Peyton. Nathan had also officially signed on with Duke last week, taking a huge weight off of everyone's shoulders. Now, the only thing they were waiting on was for Damien to get signed. Rumors were that he had some offers from some division two schools, but that Mr. West had made him turn him down. Only division one was good enough for his son. He lined up some division one scouts to go to the game tomorrow night and he was banking on one of them making his son an offer. It would be Damien's last chance.

"And next year, I'll be able to see my guy anytime I want!" Brooke added with a smirk.

Peyton and Haley looked at each, neither finding the comment to be amusing.

When Brooke realized this, guilt washed over her face. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything by it! Look, we'll all have each other next year, right? And we'll take lots of trips to those college dorms. Can you imagine what those college parties must be like? And just imagine, you'll be dating the star of a D-1 team! All those college girls will be so jealous—"

"Enough, Brooke. You're not helping," Haley chided her. They both didn't want to think about all the college girls that would be drooling over their men.

"Sorry!" Brooke apologized again.

Just then, the boys wrapped up their game and began to get ready to leave. The goal was to shake off Tim and Damien so that Jake, Lucas and Nathan could strategize their game plan for the big game. They, along with the girls, were all planning on heading over to the café, where they could sit down and figure it all out.

"Where we headed to?" Tim asked the group.

"I have to go help my mom," Lucas said immediately.

"I have to take Jenny home. Let's go, Peyton," Jake added.

"I have to give Haley another driving lesson," Nathan smiled at Haley, as he threw her his keys.

Haley watched the keys hit the ground in front of her. Irritated, she picked them up and brushed the dirt of them. "How many times do I have to tell you? _I'm not driving your car on an actual road!_ It's illegal, plus it goes too fast!" Haley threw the keys back at him. Nathan chuckled as the keys landed several feet to the right of him.

"You can always drive my car, Haley. It's much safer." Damien smiled brightly at her as he nodded towards his SUV.

"Thanks, but I'm actually going to walk with Brooke." Haley grabbed Brooke's arm and began dragging her towards the road.

"Haley! I can't walk in these heels," Brooke said out of the side of her mouth.

"Yes, you can. Come on, Brooke. I don't want Damien hounding us."

A minute later, Nathan slowed down and pulled alongside Haley and Brooke. Lucas, who was in the passenger seat, rolled down the window to talk to them. "You two are really going to walk?"

"No!" "Yes!" Brooke and Haley answered at the same time.

Damien pulled up behind the car and Nathan gestured for him to pass them, but Damien didn't budge. Instead, he just started laying on his horn.

"Go!" Haley ordered them.

"Café, right?" Lucas asked.

"Yes!" Haley said, as she pried Brooke away from the car. She breathed a sigh of relief as the cars pulled away, leaving her and Brooke to themselves.

"You really think that was necessary?" Brooke asked.

"I don't want to take any chances. Nathan's got a lot riding on this."

"I don't know how you do it, Haley. That family is so screwed up."

"You only know the half of it."

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier, Tutor Girl. I guess I never really thought about how hard it's going to be when he goes off to college because you two are so solid. In fact, I'm more worried about where Lucas and I will be next year."

"Are you and Lucas fighting?"

"Newsflash, Haley—we fight all the time! Sometimes I'm just worried we're too different to be together."

"Opposites attract, Brooke. Isn't that what they say?"

"I know, but sometimes I'm not sure if it's too much."

"What do you mean, Brooke? Are you unhappy?"

"No. I'm just worried that he's going to get sick of me and—"

"Brooke Davis!" Haley looked at Brooke, shocked. "Is that you talking? Since when are you worried that some guy is going to get sick of you? You are the most popular girl in school, next year you're going to be captain of the cheerleading team, you look and dress like a model—"

"But _it's Lucas_, Haley. He's not just _some boy_. I'm in love with him and those things you mentioned—they're not the kinds of things he's interested in."

"_He's interested in you_, Brooke," Haley clarified. "That's enough."

"But I think I want more for me. I don't want to just be a bimbo cheerleader with a jock boyfriend. Look at you, Haley. You work at the café, volunteer at the Tutor Center, take AP classes and you're super close with your family; I mean, you have so much going for you besides Nathan. All I've got is cheering and Lucas."

"Oh, stop feeling bad for yourself! If you want more, Brooke, go out and get more! Think about what you really want and just go after it! That's how you got Lucas, after all! You have the most determination of any girl I know and you can do anything you put your mind too."

Brooke beamed at Haley. "Maybe you should come out for cheering next year! You could be like my own personal cheerleader!"

"Ha-ha!" Haley rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Brooke, where do you want to see yourself in a year, and…" Haley eyed her carefully, "not considering Lucas?"

"I don't know. Maybe Student Council President? Oh! Or maybe I could start my own fashion line?"

"Why not both?" Haley raised her eyebrows suggestively at Brooke.

"I like the way you think," Brooke said as she put her arm around Haley.

* * *

The six faces briefly looked up at the sound of rapping on the café doors. Technically, the café was closed, although it probably looked like it was open as the six of them sat around a few of the tables they had pushed together.

Lucas got up and walked towards the door, preparing to let the prospective customers know they were closed. "Shit."

"What?" Brooke asked.

"It's Tim and Damien."

"Fuck. Let them in," Nathan said, feeling there was no other choice.

"Hey! I thought you guys were going home," Tim whined as he and Damien walked in the doors.

"Tim, don't be so stupid. They obviously were having their own private party," Damien said snidely.

"Actually, it was all kind of last minute," Jake jumped in. "Sit down. We can go over a few of the plays for tomorrow night."

"We were just passing by," Damien explained coldly. "See, Tim and I are celebrating the fact that Villanova is sending some scouts to look at me tomorrow night. Looks like the three of us will be serious contenders for March Madness next year, huh?"

"Congrats, man." Nathan stood up and offered Damien his fist, with Jake and Lucas following suit.

"I also wanted to make sure you knew we would be celebrating our championship win at my beach house tomorrow night. No excuses," Damien said pointing at all of them.

"Ha…Actually, my parents are away, so I was planning on having some people over my house," Brooke said nervously.

"Well, I think it's only fair that _the team captains_ get say on where the party is, isn't that right, Nate?"

"Right. We'll be there," Nathan promised.

Damien smiled broadly as he and Tim exited.

"What about my party?" Brooke immediately whined.

"What the hell, Brooke? You really think our biggest concern right now is your lame-ass party?" Nathan scoffed.

"Don't talk to her that way!" Lucas said taking a step towards Nathan.

"Hey! Cool it down," Jake said, stepping between the cousins. "Now sit down!"

Nathan and Lucas sheepishly took seats as cooler heads prevailed.

"I'm sorry. To both of you," Nathan said looking from Lucas to Brooke. "It's just that there is no fucking way he has a shot with Nova!" Nathan slammed his fist on the table.

The girls all looked at each other helplessly. They had no idea what he was talking about.

"Why?" Haley finally asked.

"Villanova's looking for a shooting guard and, well, Damien can't shoot, although he likes to think he can. No matter how hard we try, I don't think we can make him something he's not," Jake explained.

"Why are they scouting him for that then?" Peyton asked.

"I bet his father somehow arranged it. They must be desperate." Nathan shook his head in frustration.

"Here's what I think," Lucas began. "We play like we've been practicing, like we did last game, with me as shooting guard, Nathan as point, Damien as small forward, Tim as center and you," Lucas looked at Jake, "as power forward. Then, we'll make changes for second half if we need to. I have to be honest with you guys; _I want this win_. So if it means that Damien's bringing us down, and he hasn't got a shot anyway, I say fuck him and go for the win."

"I'm sorry, Nate, but I agree. I mean, I got your back and I'll do whatever you want, but I think Lucas is right. There's no point in both hanging Damien out to dry and losing states," Jake said.

"Okay. We'll go ahead as planned and see how it is at halftime," Nathan agreed.

"You know we got your back, right?" Lucas said standing up.

"I know and I can't thank you enough. Hopefully, it will all go good tomorrow night and we won't have to worry."

"There's one other thing," Jake said, as everyone was preparing to leave. "I know you think Damien doesn't have a clue about this Daunte guy and his threats, but I'm pretty damn sure he does and he's playing us all pretty good. I've known him a lot longer than you, Nate, and I've always known he can put on quite a show."

"You could be right, but I hope you're wrong," Nathan sighed.

"So do I," Jake quickly agreed.

* * *

Nathan looked at the clock. There were seven minutes left until halftime was over. He expected Haley to be there in less than a minute, which was their usual designated time for their secretive halftime meet ups by the team locker room. He began to relax as he heard footsteps approaching. Then, to his surprise, he saw Daunte rounding the corner, instead of Haley. To make matters worse, Daunte did not look happy.

"Funny, I thought I'd find you here. You see, I've been watching you, Nate, and I've noticed your girlfriend leaving games at exactly this time every game, so let me make this quick because I know she's headed this way. I feel for you, kid, I really do. I know West's kid sucks, but I have a job to do and so do you. I know you're down by ten and it's as tempting as hell to just go for the win. But I'm telling you have to choose. What's more important to you? A high school sports game or a college career as a Blue Devil? Because if you don't keep that ball going to Damien, then this is all it's going to be for you, one way or another."

Daunte quickly headed back to the gym, nearly knocking Haley down was he rounded the corner. "Just how much of that did you hear?" Daunte asked her when he realized she must have been standing there.

"Enough," Haley said, brushing past him. She was surprised at herself, since instead of being driven by fear, she was downright pissed. She was sick and tired of the Wests and how they had the ability impact all the people she cared about. Most of all, she thought of Nathan and how close he was to achieving not only his dream of winning states, but also being a Blue Devil. Their reign over this town had to end sometime and it might as well be tonight, especially considering Damien didn't have a shot anyway.

When Haley caught up to Nathan, he had his head down and was kicking his foot against the wall.

"Nathan! Look at me!" Nathan reluctantly turned to face her. "Lucas was right. You need to play for yourself, tonight. You and the team, and Whitey. Damien's been missing his shots all night and you tried to help him, you really did, but it's not going to change anything."

Nathan looked at her with desperation in his eyes. "But what if this is _it_, Hales? This could be the end for me and everything I know. If I don't go to Duke, if I don't play college basketball…I mean if today is the best it ever gets for me…will that be enough? "

"Of course," Haley said looking deep into his eyes. "_You'll always be enough_, Nathan."

Nathan weakly smiled at her, and leaned in hugged her tightly. Her words had helped, and he knew she had meant them, but he still had a horrible feeling about everything.

When they pulled away, Haley could see his was still unconvinced. "I just want you to know I'm behind you all the way, and so is everyone else. Don't leave this gym with any regrets. Years from now, do you want to look back at this as the night you led the Ravens to a championship or the night you confirmed that Damien can't shot a free-throw? Which one makes a better story for our kids? Or our grandkids?"

Nathan laughed and rolled his eyes at her. "I get the point, Hales. You want me to win."

"_I want you_," Haley said bluntly. Then, determined to show Nathan exactly what she meant, she lean on the tip of her toes and began to kiss him, letting the intensity of her feelings guide her. As she felt Nathan's arms around her back, resting at the site of her tattoo, and from the way he was hungrily kissing her, she knew she had finally been able to reach him the way she wanted.

"Hey, 'boy toy,' let's go. Two minute warning."

Nathan and Haley broke apart at the sound of Jake's voice. Nathan smiled at her, as he headed back to the team room. Just before he reached the door, he looked at her and said with a bout of confidence, "I've got this."

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "Unsatisfied" (Nine Black Alps)

AN: The inspiration for the next chapter comes from two things. First is episode 3x20, which is my favorite Nathan episode and marks the appearance of Damien West. Love the Nathan voiceover, the sports themes, the music, and the Jake/Peyton stuff. The other is a surprise that comes from something I witnessed at a girl's basketball game that I will never forget. It involved a girl that I coached in volleyball and went down in a similar way to what I wrote.

Please review! I'm not sure if this story has lost steam, but I am still writing some intense parts and it is taking a while. Looking back this whole story may be too long and that is may be why some lost interest, but for me, the most interesting parts of story comes after the prologue and so far there really isn't much I could take out to make what comes after that work. I will talk about that when we get there. If you want to know when that is, just pm me, but otherwise, I think it works best if you don't know.

So let me know what you think! I love talking about this story with you, and am inspired by your support!


	34. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 33: "Unsatisfied" (Nine Black Alps)

Nathan used his jersey to wipe the sweat off his face, right after the ref called a foul on Pontiac. He smiled at the irony of their opponent's strategy coming back to bite them. For the first half of the game, Pontiac had fouled Damien every chance they got, knowing his weakness was free-throws, and that strategy had been pretty effective. Damien had missed his shots, Pontiac got possession of the ball back and were able to run up some extra points. Then, in the third quarter, Whitey had benched Damien for most of the quarter, and yet Pontiac had continued their fouls sending Nathan to the free-throw line. So far, _he_ hadn't missed a single shot.

Now, as he made his way to the free-throw line, Nathan could sense things were different this time. Sure, it was fourth quarter, there were only forty two seconds left on the clock, and they were only down by four. But that wasn't it.

He had noticed the sports announcers and reporters, shuffling papers back and forth excitedly and showing images of their computer screens to each other. He had also noticed the silence and tension that had suddenly filled the gym. Then, there were the whispers and bated breaths of the audience.

Nathan knew what was going on. It wasn't like the last time, where everyone had expected it and had known it was coming. This one had slowly crept up on him and although he wanted it, he had tried not to think about it. Not one person mentioned it over the past few games either; not a coach, a teammate, a scout or even his father. It was as if they were all bound together by some superstitious code.

Nathan watched as Whitey subbed Damien back in. He tried his best to shake it off. The old man probably assumed it would help to have the co-captain of the team there by his side on the free-throw line to support him. That's the way it should have been anyway. Instead, Damien had been muttering under his breath the whole second half of the game, both on the bench and for the few minutes of playing time he had, during which the guys had purposely frozen him out.

Nathan didn't care anymore. It had felt so good, to just go out there and play. He would deal with the consequences later, but for now, he was having the most fun he'd had in a while. Every once in a while, he'd catch Haley's eyes in the stands, and each time it would spur him on. He was on such a high, that he couldn't imagine anyone, not Daunte, his father, or even Damien, bringing him down.

That was a good thing too, as Damien seemed poised to make this particular free-throw difficult for him.

As soon as Damien joined him at the free-throw line, he began quietly taunting Nathan. Nathan saw Pontiac's team exchanging curious glances as they watched Nathan's own teammate trying to mess with him. If he didn't know any better, Nathan would have thought Pontiac was even rooting for him to make the shot at this point, just to spite Damien, who was probably demonstrating the worst case of sportsmanship they'd ever seen.

Damien was beginning to spiral out of control, and was determined to take Nathan down with him. It wasn't working though, as Nathan was determined to push back even harder. Yes, Damien was showing his true colors, while Nathan was stepping up, rising above himself to do more.

Nathan dribbled the ball and looked for Haley's spot in the stands. She was holding hands with both his mother and her mother. The difference was, while Lydia and Deb were holding their respective breaths, Haley was smiling, exuding complete confidence in him and when their eyes locked, he could feel it. Her faith in him penetrated into his mind, body, and soul.

Nathan finished dribbling and took aim.

Haley watched as the ball went directly in the hoop. Of course it did; she had no doubt it would. Growing up, she had watched Nathan do free-throws for hours in his driveway. Some days it was under the hard eye of his father, but there were other times as well, when Nathan would sneak out there when he knew he father wasn't watching. It had always been a game they had played. Dan pushing Nathan. Nathan resenting him. In the end they pretty much had the same goal, but there was a difference. As far she could tell, there was something that Dan was never able to truly understand about his son. For Nathan, it wasn't all about winning, like it was with his father. For Nathan, _it was game he loved; it was his passion_. Anyone who really, truly watched him could see that.

In this moment, Haley could feel his pride as he made the basket. In truth, she couldn't be prouder, but not about him making the basket. What got her the most was how Nathan, after all these years, hadn't let his father destroy his love for the game. That is what made him the strongest person she knew.

Nathan high-fived Lucas, Jake, and Tim. He looked over at Damien, who kept his hands on his hips, looking disgusted.

Nathan took a quick glance around at the audience as he took the ball back. He hadn't exactly received the reaction he'd expected. Sure, they had cheered, but the tension quickly returned and silence again filled the air. He looked at Whitey, and saw his coach still seemed on edge. He looked at the reporters and broadcasters. They were still interested in their papers and computer screens. Nathan did the calculations in his head one more time. No, he didn't think he'd miscalculated, but there was no other explanation. The crowd would have gone crazy otherwise. Nathan swallowed hard as he began dribbling the ball. He wanted this and he wanted it bad. He now realized that for a long time, he had taken basketball for granted. It wasn't until it was almost taken from him that he'd realized how wrong he'd been. This wasn't just a game. _He needed basketball; he loved basketball_.

And in this moment…well, the last time had been all about beating his father, but this one…well, this one was all just for him.

That's when he heard it. Damien hadn't muttered this time. Instead, his voice came across loud and clear. "You got nothing, Scott! Nothing!"

It was like a switched turn inside Nathan. That fucking prick! Did he really think he could rattle him? Did he really think he couldn't make the shot? That he wouldn't make the shot? On purpose? For _his_ benefit? Just to make the rich, talentless bastard look better? No, Nathan knew he could make the shot with his eyes closed if he wanted to and briefly contemplated doing just that. No, that wouldn't work; that would be completely _unsatisfying_.

Instead, Nathan chose to watch Damien's expression as he made the shot. He looked at the basket, took aim and then slowly turned his head to face Damien.

Haley saw the entire exchange and couldn't help but think this might just be the most significant moment of Nathan's life. She watched his eyes sparkle and his trademark smirk flash over his face as he looked directly at Damien and took the shot.

Nathan could tell from the complete look of anguish on Damien's face that the ball was going in. He shifted his glance up to Haley and they locked eyes just as the basket went through the hoop.

This time, Nathan got the reaction he had anticipated. There were deafening screams. Arms were thrown up in the air. Fans jumped up and down. Hugs were shared. Some even cried.

And yet, the team was still down by two, with less than a minute to go on the clock.

But the fans weren't driven to an emotional high for the game. It was all for Nathan. Because, as some suspected, and the avid fans knew for sure, _Nathan Scott had just made history_.

Haley looked at the clock and wondered why it hadn't started back up again. She then looked over at her father and saw him rubbing his eyes. Were they brimming with tears?

"Dad?"

"Do you know what just happened?" Jimmy asked both his wife and daughter.

Haley looked at the scoreboard again. No, they hadn't won. She hadn't missed that. She was clearly missing something, as her father looked like he was about to explode with pride. Haley then looked over at the broadcasters and saw they were getting ready to make an announcement.

Out on the court, she saw Nathan standing alone by the booth, his hands on his hips, waves of emotions strewn across his face, as he took this all in. Both teams were on their feet, forming a line in front of the bench, waiting for the announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have an announcement to make." The broadcaster then paused for dramatic effect, as everyone in gym got on their feet and hushed to silence. "On behalf of the North Carolina High School Athletic Association, I would like to congratulate Nathan Scott on, not only breaking the record for most consecutive free throws in a season at Tree Hill High School when he hit 54, but also,…" the broadcaster paused again, before bellowing out the rest, "…for breaking the record for the state of North Carolina with 55!"

The Ravens then clobbered Nathan, as the gym erupted in cheers and applause, even from the Pontiac fans. Haley looked at her mom, Deb, and Karen and saw they were both crying and that's when she realized she had tears in her eyes as well.

Nathan tried to keep himself in check. He was honestly caught off-guard about the state record. Considering everything that was going on with Damien, he hadn't expected to have an opportunity to hit twenty free-throws that night, and although he knew all the Tree Hill records by heart, he didn't know all the state ones. But still, they had a game to finish and it was clearly their game to win, as his achievements shifted momentum in favor of the Ravens. He knew it was just a matter of time before the refs got clock back going, so Nathan tried to keep his emotions at bay until the game was over. But, damn it still felt good.

The refs announced a minute on the clock and both teams huddled together to regroup. Nathan listened to Whitey talk about how this would be a game they would always look back on, always want to go back to. Nathan could feel the memory, including the feel, the sounds, the energy, heck even the taste of the air, the taste of impending victory, being burned into his memory.

As the ref blew his whistle and the team disbanded, Nathan looked curiously at Whitey once he realized that he wasn't going to sub Damien out after his antics. Then, he saw the self-satisfied smirk on his coach's face and he knew. This was Whitey's way of punishing Damien. It would be worse for him to be out on the court, being publically frozen out by his own team, when they went in for the final shot and ultimate victory. It was a risky move having only four real players on the court instead of five, but Whitey obviously had such strong faith in them and didn't seem too worried about it.

The clock began going with Pontiac having possession of the ball. They began the drive across the court, passing the ball back and forth until, in a flash, Jake stole the ball. He dribbled the ball back down towards the court and then made a pass to Nathan. Nathan looked at the clock. Twenty second and he knew this was it. He slowly dribbled, trying to run down the clock a little more. He then looked at his vantage point. It needed to be three-pointer to get the win. He could have taken the shot from there, but he saw Lucas had a better shot and was open. He then heard Damien calling out. Damien was also open, but it would have only been a two-pointer, plus, he didn't trust him to make the shot. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Daunte and Mr. West standing by the gym doors, watching intently with their arms crossed. This was it. He had to make a decision and there would be no way he could get out of it. Nathan passed the ball.

Seconds later, the buzzer sounded and confetti filled the air. The crowd began to empty from the stands, rushing the floor in celebration.

Nathan helped his teammates hoist Lucas into the air.

The Ravens were State Champions and Lucas had made the winning shot.

Nathan managed to make it out the team huddle and began to look around. Seconds later, he was nearly knocked over as Haley flew into his arms.

"You did it!"

"We did it," Nathan corrected her. There was no way he could have done this without her and she needed to know that.

Nathan closed his eyes, blocking out all the people and noise and savoring the moment, as they shared a long, deliberate kiss that took their minds out of that gym as they expressed their feelings for one another.

When they finally broke away, Haley began to ask the questions that had been buzzing around in her head.

"Why didn't you take that last shot? And why didn't you tell me about the free-throw record?"

"We've had a lot going on, Hales. I didn't really think I had a shot at it anyway, and the state one wasn't even on my radar."

"I am so incredibly proud of you," Haley beamed. "So what about that last shot?"

Nathan shrugged. "I knew Lucas could do it and I remembered last year, how he missed it. It was only right."

Haley looked miserably around them. God, she would have given just about anything to be alone in a room with Nathan, to finish showing him how she felt, because there really were no words she could use to adequately express how much she loved everything about him in that moment. She grabbed a fistful of his jersey in frustration. Nathan looked at her amused, as he raised his eyebrows at her. "God, I just want to get out here!" Haley said with urgency in her voice.

"Really?" Nathan laughed. He leaned in took a closer look at Haley, trying to read her face. It was then that he saw the lust in her eyes.

"Really," Haley said straight-faced.

"I'm on it," Nathan answered quickly. "Let me talk to the reporters. I won't be long."

* * *

Haley played with her cell phone as she anxiously waited on the bleachers for Nathan to finish up with the reporters. She was pleased with herself for convincing her parents to late her stay out late tonight, although in truth, it hadn't been that hard. Both her parents, but especially her father, were ecstatic and were planning on heading out themselves to celebrate with Deb, Keith, Karen and some of the other parents. Still, Haley was careful not to suggest an exact time to be home, so she felt like she had a free pass to stay out as late as she wanted. She looked up and saw Nathan, looking incredibly sexy in his normal pre/post-game outfit—a collared shirt, tie and dress pants,—still swarmed by reporters.

When she saw Damien headed her way, she got up from the bleachers and pretended to have a sudden need to visit the ladies room. She was caught but by surprise when Damien grabbed her elbow from behind.

"Tell me you're coming to _my party tonight, Hales_," Damien said as he gripped Haley's arm so tight, it began to hurt. Still, it was the way her nickname rolled off his tongue that made her feel sick to her stomach.

Then, out of nowhere, Dan appeared and pushed Damien away from her. "Don't touch, Haley," Dan said angrily. "Don't test me, kid." Damien sulked off, but not before throwing one final glare in Haley's direction.

Haley looked carefully at Dan, as a stream of conflicting emotions ran through her mind. She wasn't sure if she should hug him or slap him. Dan didn't give her the opportunity to decide, as he stormed out of the gym.

A few minutes later, Nathan finished up with the reporters and walked over to join Haley. He could tell she was a bit shaken up, and she quickly relayed her encounter to him.

"Bastard! I'd be surprised if anyone went to his party after the shit he pulled tonight. Serves him right!" Nathan scoffed as they exited the gym.

As they walked out to the car, arm and arm, their conversation came to an abrupt end at the sound of Dan's voice.

"Nathan!"

As they turned around, Haley wasn't sure if she should leave to give them some privacy, but Nathan's tight grip on her told her otherwise.

"I wanted you to know I'm going to take care of things. You don't have to worry about anything but getting ready for Duke. I'll handle….everything else."

Nathan was taken aback by the look in his father's eyes and the softness of his tone. He wanted to trust him, to believe he was being sincere, but he couldn't help but think there must be some angle. There usually was.

Dan must have been able to read the hesitation in Nathan's eyes. He took a small step closer to them and began to speak even softer.

"You know, tonight I walked into the gym, the Mayor of Tree Hill,…but I finished the night a father on the outside looking in…and you're a son who deserves better," Dan's voice cracked. "I wanted to tell you how proud of you I am and….this has nothing to do with basketball….I'm proud of you for the choices you've made in your life….I'm proud of you for the man you've become." Tears brimmed in Dan's eyes, as he expressed the most emotion Nathan had ever seen from him. Then, as if it was taking all of everything he had inside him to say it, Dan shifted back and forth, before taking one last look at Nathan and choked out his parting words. "I love you."

Then he was gone.

Haley looked at Nathan. She knew he was torn. It was written all over her face. She thought back to how she felt earlier, when Dan had saved her from Damien, and could only imagine it was a thousand times worse for Nathan.

"Are you okay?" Haley gently asked him.

"I think that's the first time I've heard him say those words," Nathan quietly revealed.

Haley nearly gasped. She couldn't imagine having parents that did not tell their children they loved them on a regular basis. It was just so foreign from the household she'd grown up in. In all the time she'd spent in the Scott house growing up, she had never once realized how hard it must have been for Nathan to have a father that was emotionally disconnected from him. It was no wonder why he always preferred her house to his. Haley could take some comfort in that it seemed to be a little different for Rachel, who had always been a "Daddy's girl." That still hadn't been enough for her though, as her behavior had proven once she had gone to live with him. Now, things stood just as confusing as ever.

"Do you believe him, Haley?" Nathan asked with desperation.

Haley slowly nodded. There was just something about the way Dan spoke, and that look in his eyes…it reminded her of Nathan actually, when he was completely vulnerable with her. Still, what mattered the most, was what Nathan thought. "Do you?"

"I don't know," Nathan shook his head. "I need a drink."

* * *

The party was in full gear by the time they arrived at Brooke's house. As Brooke had promised, her parents were away and she had gone to great lengths to get the place ready. There were balloons everywhere, trays of food, bowls of chips, a keg and bottles of liquor strewn about.

Cheers erupted everywhere as Nathan and Haley entered the house and continued as they made their way from the main foyer to the kitchen. It took them for what seemed like forever to make their way to the keg, as each person seemed determined to speak to and congratulate Nathan. Early on, Haley had tried to make a break for it, but Nathan was holding her hand and every time she tried to forge ahead, he pulled her back to his side. When they finally reached their destination, Haley was grateful to get her hand back as Nathan grabbed some cups and began to get them such much needed alcohol.

Nathan looked at Haley, surprised as she snatched her hand away when he dropped it. "What?"

"Nothing." Haley wanted to be careful with her words, as she didn't want to upset him on such a big night, but she also didn't want to have to stick by his side all night.

Nathan handed her a full cup of beer and then grabbed his own. "Are you mad? Do you not want me to drink?"

"Oh, no. I don't care. You can get drunk if you want to. You've earned the right to celebrate." Haley meant it. She has loosened up about her attitude about alcohol over the past few months and if there was ever a night to celebrate, this was it and despite his stories about his past, she trusted him.

Nathan chuckled. "Have I taught you nothing? Getting wasted isn't all it's cracked up to be." He then reached over and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Then, what is it? Tell me…"

"Don't be mad, but I thought that maybe you could talk with all your adoring fans on your own?" Haley smiled hopefully.

"You don't like being the center of attention, Hales?" Nathan asked reading her correctly.

Haley shook her head vehemently, grateful as his teasing tone let her know he wasn't upset.

"Really? I never noticed that." He then moved in as close he could, his body pressing up against her, as he whispered in her ear. "Okay, but only if you promise to end the night with me."

Haley literally felt chills down her spine. Not being comfortable with the effect he was having on her, while he seemed to be in complete control, Haley decided to try and turn the tables on him. She pulled at his neck, bringing his ear to her mouth and whispered back. "Didn't you know, Nathan? I'm your biggest fan and if you play your cards right, I'll show you just how much I adore you…just how much I want you."

Nathan jerked away as felt his throat go dry. He hadn't expected to hear that from her. He looked at her long and hard, trying to decide whether to continue to play the game or concede. In the end, he decided maybe he could do a little of both.

"What's that, Haley?" Nathan asked, much too loudly for Haley's taste. "You want me? Well, you've got me. I'm all yours! Take me!" Haley eyes went wide as she froze in place. People had begun to stare, all with amused expressions across their face. This reaction seemed to further spurn Nathan on as he began to talk even louder. "I don't need to talk to anyone else. Why don't I take my biggest fan and end the night right now?"

Haley gave him a good shove as he grinned broadly. "You're an ass!"

She then stormed off towards the living room. From behind her, she could hear Nathan giving her one last parting shot.

"You weren't saying that a minute ago, were you, Hales?"

Haley was off in search for some peace and quiet, pissed that Nathan got the best of her. She would most definitely make him pay for that later, even if it was his big night. She began to wander around Brooke's house, which was very large compared to hers, but not as big as the Scott's and nowhere as close to size to the West's. As she walked in and out of rooms, sipping her beer along the way and waving at people, some she recognized, some she didn't, she couldn't help but wonder if all these people were at Brooke's, who was at Damien's? Heck, she'd even spied Tim at Brooke's.

Haley decided to try and find the study she knew was up somewhere on the second floor. The first time she'd been to Brooke's house, she'd spotted it and secretly wished to spend more time in, checking out the titles of the endless shelves of books that stretched from the floor to the ceiling.

Haley found the room she was looking for on her fourth try, after walking in on two highly embarrassing situations. As she entered the room, she made a beeline to the shelves and began pouring over their titles. Haley quickly became disappointed as she realized most of them were legal books and the study must be primarily for Mr. Davis, who was a lawyer.

"Boo!"

Her heart in her throat, Haley spun around and regained her breath as Lucas stood in front of her.

"Lucas! You nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Lucas challenged her with a crooked smile.

"I just wanted to get away. I hate how everyone's looking at me."

"Me too," Lucas admitted as he stuffed his hands in his pocket.

"But Luke, it's _your night_. Don't you want to, you know, take it all in?"

"I am. This is my way of just letting things settle."

Haley gave him a knowing laugh. "Sometimes I forget how much we're alike."

"You mean how we went from total nerds and outcastes to dating the most popular, attention-seeking people in the school?"

"Hey! Speak for yourself, I was never a nerd!"

"How much of that beer have you had to drink?" Lucas laughed.

Haley looked down at her cup and saw it was almost empty. She then finished off the rest of it and proudly showed it off to Lucas. Lucas, in return, held up a bottle of Jack Daniel's and began to fill her cup.

"Hey! Luke, slow it down. I don't want that much." Haley then began to get a little nervous as she watched him take a swig from the bottle. He wasn't only drinking to celebrate. Something was definitely bothering him. "What's going on, Luke?"

Lucas shrugged and then took another swig from the bottle. "Things are just changing so fast."

Haley took a seat on the sofa and Lucas followed suit. "I'm taking it you're not crazy about these changes."

"I don't like the limelight, Hales, and now it's like I don't have a choice- between dating Brooke and being on the team. How do you do it? Did you just get used to it once you started dating Nathan?"

"You really think Nathan and Brooke are that much alike?" Haley asked seriously. It was something she had never considered.

"Maybe they should be the ones dating," Lucas muttered.

Haley nearly spit out her drink. "Ha! Are you kidding me Luke? One attention-whore is enough per relationship. Those two wouldn't last a minute together! Neither one would be able to get in word in! Can you imagine the two of them trying to get out the door? They'd fight over every mirror, who's hotter, had the better clothes, the better body—"

"Haley! I get it, okay! Forget I mentioned it."

Haley knew she'd catch Lucas by surprise with her next question, but she'd had enough of his brooding and decided to go in for the kill. "You love her, Luke?"

It didn't take him long to answer. "Yeah, I do," Lucas sighed heavily. "I mean when we first got together, the first time," he clarified, "it wasn't like that. It was just all about…" Lucas trailed off.

"Sex?" Haley supplied the word she knew he couldn't bring himself to say in front of her.

Lucas sighed again, his own way of confirming Haley's guess. "Then, somewhere in the middle of it all, I fell in love with her. She's just so amazing, Hales," Lucas said his eyes lighting up as he spoke. "She's got this side to her that no one gets to see. She comes across as so confident and peppy, but underneath it all she has these fears and insecurities. Sometimes I just find it so frustrating that no one can see what I see and that she feels she has to put up this wall that she hides behind. I really believe she's going to change the world someday and doesn't even know it."

"Give her time, Luke," Haley lightly suggested, knowing from her private conversation with Brooke how she was indeed struggling with these very issues and was on the verge of a breakthrough. It was not lost on her how both Lucas and Brooke were thinking the same kinds of things and were having problems because they were afraid to communicate that with each other. She remembered being in that same place with Nathan and took a second to appreciate how far they'd come and how solid they were as long as they continued to be honest with each other.

"Is that what you did with Nate?" Lucas asked seriously.

Haley nodded, now fully able to see the parallels between their relationships. She took a sip from her cup as she began to further ponder this. "Except I didn't have sex with Nathan and then fall in love with him. It was more like the other way around. Not that, uh," Haley stopped herself, not wanting to reveal the full intimacies of her relationship with Nathan to him, more for Nathan's benefit than her own. She was pretty sure the fact that he was virgin was secret that only she knew and she wanted to keep it that way. "Well,…I just have always seen that side to him that he hides from everyone else."

"How are you going to deal with him gone next year?" Lucas asked miserably.

"I try not to think about it," Haley admitted. She then looked Lucas and saw just how upset _he_ looked. "You're going to miss him!" She proclaimed.

"I will not," Lucas denied her accusation as he took another drink. He then looked her in the eye guiltily. "Maybe a little."

"Lucas…" Haley put her arm him soothingly.

Lucas brushed her arm off as he regrouped. "It's not really him I'm going to miss. It's that after he's gone, everyone's going to be looking at me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be the next Scott basketball superstar. I don't think I can live up to that hype, especially not after tonight."

"No one's asking you to, Luke. Don't put that on yourself. Just be yourself. Just be the nerd you are."

Haley watched as Lucas began to come out of his brooding state as a smile crossed his face. Knowing she was finally getting through to him, she decided to leave him with one final observation. It was something she had realized a long time ago, but had never verbalized to anyone, not even Nathan. "You know, Luke, you Scott boys are a lot more like than you think. You think you have to live up to someone else's expectations…and so you fight back,…and you look around and see who's watching,…especially when it comes to basketball….but the truth is, the heart of it all, you both…_love basketball_. I think it took Nathan a long time to admit that, but when he did, well, you saw him tonight. So don't fight it, Luke. Don't try to pretend to be something you're not, but don't fight who you are either."

Lucas nodded, taking in her advice. "I know what you're saying, Hales, but I'm just not sure I love it like he does….I guess I'll find out soon enough." Haley nodded in agreement. "Hey, can you keep a secret?" Lucas asked suggestively. Haley nodded excitedly. "Whitey asked me to present Nathan with the MVP award at the banquet next week."

"Really?" It had seemed like it was a given that Nathan would get the award, even before championship game, but Haley knew there was always a possibility it could go to Damien due to pressure from his father. "Does anyone else know?"

"No. Whitey asked me to keep it quiet. I kind of think he's going to take some heat for it."

"I don't see how! No one can question that he deserves it!" Haley then began to think of Damien, or even worse, Mr. West's reaction. Despite Dan's reassurances, this was something she was still sincerely worried about. "I'm worried, Luke. I can't shake this feeling this isn't over. How bad do you think things can get with Damien?"

"I don't think Daunte is going to retaliate, if that's what you mean. Damien dug his own grave tonight. Everyone saw him act out and everyone saw Nathan have the game of his life. So, I don't think they can really do anything to him now. I think it's over, Hales. Damien will probably go to some D-2 school, which is if you ask me even a bit of a stretch, and then he'll come back and take over his Daddy's business. Meanwhile, Nathan's going to get out of dodge, have his time at Duke, and who knows? Maybe he'll make it to the pro's." These were just the words Haley needed to hear and she was grateful that Lucas had been able to set her straight. She felt lucky that she would have him around once Nathan was gone. "So I'm going for my license next week. Think maybe you'd want a ride up to visit him at Duke next year?"

Haley elbowed him hard. "You are so going to miss _him_!" She exclaimed with satisfaction.

* * *

Nathan felt a wave of relief as he watched Haley begin to follow Lucas down the stairs. She had disappeared for over an hour, an hour and six minutes to be exact, and it was all he could do not to run around the place trying to find her. He knew, however, how much that would piss her off and thus, had restrained himself.

He smiled to himself as she carefully held the banister tenaciously with one hand, holding a red cup in the other, as she cautiously walked down the stairs watching her feet the entire time. Over the past month or so, she had taken to wearing heels around him. When he'd asked her about it, she claimed it was to help fill the gap in their height difference, as she was convinced he was still growing. He couldn't deny the fact that there now seemed to be nearly a foot between them, but he'd always found her to be her small frame and lack of height endearing and didn't see the need for her heels. Plus, her klutziness didn't help matters, but even that was something he had always found cute.

Her clothing choice for tonight was also doing him no favors, as he once again stopped himself from scurrying to greet her as she finally reached the bottom the stairs. While upstairs, she had shed the chocolate brown jacket she'd had on earlier and thus was left wearing a lace-trimmed beige tank top that Nathan had never seen before, along with a nicely fitting pair of jeans. The top was hovering just above her jeans, allowing just a small of hint of flesh to be seen. All this did was make Nathan think about was that tattoo.

That damn tattoo had done a number on him. Whenever she was around him, his eyes drifted to that spot. Right then, he wanted her to turn around, just so he could see if it was visible. If it wasn't, then that fine; it wasn't about that anyway. This was just for him and if he couldn't see it, then he'd just have to find a way to touch it. All too many times over the past couple of weeks, he found hand being pulled to that spot. He loved just running his fingers over it, as it was a piece of her that belonged to him. He took a deep breath as they briefly made eye contact before she headed over to join Brooke and Peyton. Nathan put his drink down and loosened his tie, as he felt his self-control completely dissipate as he prepared to join her.

When he looked up, he couldn't help but roll his eyes as he saw Tim approaching. He was surrounded by a few girls and it appeared as though Tim wanted to use Nathan to impress them. Nathan picked back up his drink as he prepared to once again relive the highlights of the game. He promised himself this would be his final showing of the evening.

* * *

Haley tried not to laugh aloud as Nathan turned on his cocky smirk and acted like his performance during the game was no big deal. Yeah, he could put on good show when he wanted to and tonight Haley was enjoying watching it. As long as she tuned out Brooke's hyper chatting, she could hear almost everything from her where she was standing and she had to admit Tim was laying it on pretty thick as he praised Nathan's game. Still, it was Nathan she couldn't take her eyes off of. In fact, she found him to be incredibly sexy as he turned on his charm and soaked in all the attention around him.

Haley took a sip from her cup, feeling a little dismayed it was now gone. The Jack Daniel's, JD's, Lucas had called it, hadn't been exactly what she'd expected, but the more she drank, the more she liked it. At this point, she realized she'd probably had a little too much to drink, although she wouldn't call herself drunk either. Maybe just a little tipsy, and as she was almost physically unable to look away from Nathan, she was definitely feeling uninhibited as they locked eyes. The way he was looking at her was enough to drive her crazy!

The sexual tension was palpable and she was sure everyone must have felt it too. How could they not? It was like an electric current was running straight from him to her. Haley looked around and saw that maybe she was wrong. Tim continued to egg Nathan on and Brooke continued talking a mile a minute. She looked back to Nathan, was still unflinchingly staring right at her. Feeling like they were literally the only two people in the room, Haley imagined walking over to Nathan and pulling on that loose tie of his, using it to bring her closer to him. Then, she's run her hands through his hair and pulling his head down to meet hers—

"Haley!" Brooke said sharply, taking Haley out of her trance-like state.

"Hmm?" Haley asked innocently. She absolutely no idea what Brooke had been babbling on about.

"What do you think we should call it?"

"Call what?"

Brooke stomped her foot, obviously frustrated at having to catch Haley up. "The line that I'm going to design! Peyton is going to do the logo, but we need a name! I'm going to start with designing a Raven's State Champion line—Haley!,—we're supposed to be talking about clothes, not bros!"

It was too late. Not only wasn't Haley listening again, but as Nathan's eyes continued piercing into her, she felt like her body was a magnet that was being pulled toward him.

"That was the coolest thing I've ever seen! I mean, you weren't even looking at the basket, Nate. And the look on Damien's face? That shut him up good. Show us how you did it, Nate?"

Nathan looked past Tim, who was looking up at him expectedly and put down his drink. He knew Tim was asking him to do something, but he didn't care. He hadn't been listening to him for the past few minutes as he tried to figure out exactly what Haley was drinking. He figured it wasn't beer since the keg was in the kitchen and he knew she hadn't been back that way. Then, when he watched her take a sip and then look at him as she licked her lips, he decided he was done putting on his show. For a moment, she was distracted at Brooke, but then he had her back again and she was looking at him with that lust in her eyes.

Both of them, not even fully realizing they were moving, wordlessly met in the center of the room. Nathan gently took the cup from her hands and peered into it. It was empty. He hastily threw the cup on the ground, as he figured out a more preferable way to find out what she had been drinking.

Haley felt a rush go through her body as Nathan looked at her like he was on a mission. As he pulled her up against him, his hands resting on the area of her tattoo, she realized that she, was in fact his mission, and this fact pleased her to no end! His mouth crashed on hers with an intensity that took her breath away. She tried to reciprocate, but found it difficult to do so, as his tongue ravaged her mouth, as if he was trying to taste her.

Haley struggled to regain her breath as he slowly pulled away, raking her bottom lip through his teeth in the process. She instantly shifted her weight against him, feeling herself going weak in the knees.

"Is that whiskey?" Nathan whispered with his lips still dangerously close to hers.

"Huh?" Haley asked, unable to process his words. Then, as if a flash hit her, the sights and sounds of the room came rushing back to her. She scanned the room, and although she found a few sets of eyes on them, she was happy that most people hadn't taken notice. Haley looked back at Nathan helplessly. She tried her best to communicate her need to be alone with him.

Nathan was tempted to just pick her up and carry her up the stairs, where he was sure there were plenty of places for them to get some privacy. He knew she'd kill him for that though and the last he thing he wanted to do right now was distract her from the way she was looking at him; from what he was sure she was feeling. He needed her to keep wanting him like that, like he knew she did, like the way he wanted her. Yes, they needed to move, and they needed to move fast. Nathan considered their options, seriously concerned about her ability to make it up the stairs.

"Take off your shoes," Nathan quietly instructed her.

Haley complied, as all she really wanted right now was for Nathan to give her direction, as her mind felt like mush and her legs felt like jello. She took turns resting her hands on his shoulders for support, as she took off her shoes.

Nathan took her shoes, holding both of them in one of his hands, and extended his free hand to her. Haley took his hand, and allowed him to lead her up the stairs, ever so slowly, taking one step at a time.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Haley let out the breath she'd been holding in. She couldn't imagine how she must look to him right now, but the way he was taking charge, taking control of the situation, just added to the butterflies that were building inside of her.

Nathan looked around the corridor of closed doors trying to decide where to go. He had never been upstairs in Brooke's house and had no idea what the layout was.

Haley saw him struggling and sprung into action. She brushed past him and led him a couple of doors down, to the left, to a room she had seen earlier. She was pretty sure it belonged to Brooke's housekeeper/former nanny who was away visiting family. Haley opened the door and smiled, proud that she had remembered correctly.

Nathan took a quick look around the room and was happy to see it would suit their purposes. It was clean, had a queen size bed that was neatly made up, and most importantly, the door had a lock. The last thing he wanted to think about was someone walking in on them; not with the images that were racing through his mind. Nathan tossed Haley's shoes aside, and turned around and shut and locked the door. He had barely turned back around when Haley slammed into him, pushing him up violently up against the door.

Haley's lips met his in a series of sloppy kisses, as her hands worked on taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. When she was finished, she pushed down his shirt and raked her fingers up the contours of his body, stretching from his abs up to his broad shoulders. She then looked up at Nathan expectantly.

Nathan smiled to himself as he watched Haley automatically lift her arms up so he could take off her tank top. He barely had the chance to appreciate this view of her when Haley slammed back into him, as she began kissing him ferociously. He wasn't sure if it was because she'd been drinking or not, but she was all over him, and it was all he could do to contain himself. He continued to let her take charge as her hands shifted down to his belt buckle. The anticipation began to kill him, as he felt his pants tightening even more as he waited for Haley to finish working on his unbuttoning his pants. As soon as she did, he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He removed his shoes and socks and figured he might as well take off his pants while he was at it.

Nathan stood at the edge of the bed stunned as he took in the sight of Haley. She had obviously decided to remove her own pants as well. She was propped up on her elbows, facing him, wearing only a set of matching cream-colored bra and panties that were trimmed in lace.

"Let's get under the covers," Haley suggested.

Nathan was confused, but in no position to argue. He pulled back the covers and they climbed in, settling in on their sides facing each other. Nathan's confusion continued, as Haley pushed down his boxers and then pressed up against him, swinging one of her legs over his hip so that his arousal was resting on her center. Nathan closed his eyes, trying to fight off his desires as he felt his hips involuntarily thrust towards her, causing Haley to let out a loud moan. Need a quick distraction, Nathan began to pull down one of the straps of her bra, clearing the way for his mouth to make its way to her breast. This only made matters worse, however, because as soon as Nathan's tongue began to circle her nipple, Haley cried out and began to thrust hips into his. Nathan tried to still her movements, but her need for him was too strong, as she repositioned herself so that the only thing separating his hardness from entering her, was her thin pantyline.

"Haley," Nathan croaked out, as his breaths grew shorter as they began to grind into each other.

"Nathan," Haley responded, breathing hard as well.

Haley's looped her hands through his arms and wrapped them around his lower back, where she tried to pull him tighter to her. At this point her need for him was insatiable and she would do just about anything to be as close to him as possible.

Nathan was having trouble thinking any coherent thoughts as his body drove into action. His hands moved to Haley's ass as he slipped his hands underneath her panties in a need to feel her bare skin.

It was only when Haley stilled her movements, that Nathan began to be able to think again. Haley was looking at him, lust in her eyes, as if she was waiting for him to do something.

Seeing his confusion, Haley decided to help him out. "Take them off."

Nathan pushed his boxers, which were bunched at his knees, full off, and Haley shook her head disapprovingly at him. She then moved his hands and realized she wanted him to take off _her_ panties. The problem was that would leave them completely naked—together. Although they had each been naked with each other, they had never been naked at the same time, as that could lead to a situation that was overly tempting. Realizing they were about to head straight on into that temptation, and not so sure he would be able to resist, he hesitated.

"Haley….I don't think that's such a good idea," Nathan said miserably as he fought every urge in his body to say this.

"Nathan," Haley begged. "I want to be with you."

Nathan remained still and Haley began to grow frustrated. Could she be any clearer? Hadn't she told him, like, three times tonight? She told him during halftime, then again when they got to the party, and now again. What wasn't he understanding?

"Haley…I don't want to have to start something and then stop. Why don't we just cool down a bit and then I can take care of you—"

So, he didn't understand what she had been saying. Haley removed her hands from his hips and slowly reached down and removed her panties herself and then tossed them aside.

Nathan's eyes widened in awe, as his mouth slightly fell open.

Haley moved her hands behind his neck and looked deep into his eyes. "I told you, Nathan. I want you. I'm ready. I don't want to wait anymore."

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Think of You" (Reeve Carney)

AN: So, should they or shouldn't they? I'm not trying to be mean ending it like that; it was kind of the point. Take a second and stop and think about it…that's why I stopped it there. I'm interested to hear what you think, even though it's already written.

BTW, sorry for any typos. I am going to proofread it a few more times. I was just so anxious to post after all the support I got from the last chapter!

Special thanks to everyone who reviewed for the last chapter! Please keep reviewing…and new people too! It is very inspiring and motivational. I am definitely back into my writing groove. I hope to keep things moving along!


	35. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 34: "Think of You" (Reeve Carney)

Nathan looked at Haley in shock. He was trying very hard to process her words. He had to be sure he had understood her correctly. She had just told him she wanted to have sex, right?

Haley broke his trance as she spoke again. "Nathan? Tell me, you want me, too."

"Of course, I do," he answered quickly. "I'm just not sure this is what you really want."

"Nathan, you have to believe me. I'm sooo ready. Can't you tell?"

Nathan could tell she was ready; heck she had been giving him those signals all night, both verbally and physically. The problem was he knew this wasn't what she had envisioned as their first time. In fact, it wasn't what he'd envisioned either.

"Haley,…I ,…what I meant was, I thought you didn't want it to be like this. At a party. In some stranger's bed. Not being able to spend the night together. Being drunk—"

"I'm not drunk!" Haley protested.

"Okay, but you had too much to drink. And really, Hales? Whiskey? I can't believe you were drinking that!"

"I didn't have whiskey!" Haley said crossly. "I had Jack Daniel's, or JD's, or whatever the hell it is!"

Nathan smiled at her amused and shook his head. "Look, Haley, I drank too much too. Our first time's not supposed to be like this, Hales."

"But, Nathan! What other choice do we have? It's not like you've come up with any brilliant ideas!"

"Just give me time, Hales. I promised you I would. What's the big rush?"

"Because I really want you _now_, Nathan!" Haley whined. Haley pressed back up against him and then gently reached down and stroked his hardness. When Nathan moaned, Haley took his member and guided it to her entrance.

Nathan closed his eyes and groaned, trying to summon every ounce of self-control he had. He could feel how much she wanted him, which just made him even harder. "God, you're so wet, Hales," he muttered into her ear.

"Please, Nathan," Haley begged as she began to twitch in anticipation, feeling even more turned on by his words.

That was it, Nathan decided. He couldn't resist her anymore. She wanted him and he wanted her. They were alone, the door was locked and she was begging him. What more did he need?

Fuck! He needed a condom.

He rolled onto his back and began to silently berate himself. He should have thought of this; he should have been ready. Still, his mind kept going back to one point; _it wasn't supposed to happen like this_.

Haley whimpered as Nathan pulled away from her. What the hell was going on? As her hormones began to calm down, frustration set in. She had been as clear as she could with him. He had told her he wanted it to. So, why wasn't he listening to her? Maybe he just needed a little more encouragement…

Haley, who was still on her side, pushed her body up against his. She turned his face towards hers and began to kiss him fervently, trying to reignite the passion they'd had just a few minutes ago. This seemed to work, as Nathan rolled back on to his side, and their bodies were once again pressed up against each other. Haley once again began to grind her hips against his, struggling to find that same position where his hardness would be surrounding her wetness.

After realizing he had once again become lost in Haley, in their mutual desire to be together, Nathan had to forcibly push her hips away from him.

Haley's eyes flew open and she stared at Nathan angrily. "Will you give me one good reason why you won't have sex with me?"

Nathan took a deep breath. Hearing her say those words coupled with the intensity in her voice and eyes, just made him want her even more. "I don't have a condom," Nathan quietly admitted, hating himself for letting her down.

"What? I don't believe you!"

"What, Haley?" Nathan asked now agitated as well. "What do you want me to do? I don't!"

"What kind of a guy doesn't have a condom?"

"A guy who isn't planning on having sex! Come on, Hales! This isn't what we talked about."

"Go get one," Haley spat out.

"You're kidding me," Nathan said stunned.

"I'm not," Haley assured him. Part of her still didn't completely believe him. She still kind of thought that maybe he still wasn't convinced she was ready for this and was just trying to protect her.

"So, let me get this straight," Nathan said, propping himself up on his elbow and seriously looking into Haley's eyes. "You want me to go out there and start asking people if they have a condom."

Haley hadn't really thought about it happening like that. She had thought maybe he could somehow do it discreetly. "Don't just ask _anyone_. Ask someone _you know_."

"Oh, you mean, like, Lucas?"

"No!" Haley nearly yelled as she imaged how mortifying that would be.

"How about Jake?"

"Nuh-uh." That wouldn't be a good idea either, considering she knew Jake's situation with Peyton.

"So who then? Brooke or Peyton? Oh, what about Tim? He's always—"

"Nathan!"

"I'm being serious, Haley. You need to really want to think about you want, because I don't want us to have any regrets."

"I know you think I'm, like, just getting caught up in the moment, Nathan, but I'm not! I've thought about this. Do you know I went on the pill a couple of weeks ago?"

Nathan looked at her in disbelief as he registered this news. "No, I didn't, because you didn't tell me!" he shot back.

Haley sighed as she realized this was true. She probably should have told him. "You're right."

"Come here," Nathan said as he pulled Haley back up against him. "Why don't we just, you know, do what we usually do. Let me make you feel, good, Hales."

Nathan gently rolled Haley to her back and moved over her as he began to lay kisses along her neckline. As Haley began to squirm below him, he began to realize how desperate she was to be with him. The more he began to think about this, the more his body began to react against his will. He found himself devouring every part of her body that was near his mouth as his hands moved up and down her body. Then, when Haley began to moan in response, and spread her legs open, he just about lost it. He quickly moved one of hands to her center and began to search her out, feeling once again just how wet she was. As his fingers moved inside her, Haley began to jerk her hips towards him, as she urged him on.

They had done this very thing many times before, but for some reason, this was not enough for Haley tonight. She wasn't sure why, but it was if as soon as she'd made up her mind that she was ready to have sex, there was no getting it out of her mind. Making matters worse was that each time Nathan moved up against her, she felt his erection moving against her body, which just intensified her urges. Haley began to feel around, and soon began running her hand up and down his member, in an attempt to help her desperate situation.

Nathan groaned as Haley began pumping her hand up and down his hardness, causing him to momentarily stop moving his fingers inside her. As he started back up again, determined to help bring Haley to that point she was so badly craving, Haley began to speed up her movements again, forcing him to stop again.

Haley could tell just how much Nathan was struggling to control himself, which just increased her desire for him. She quickly came to the conclusion that they needed to do a little more tonight if they both really wanted to be satisfied.

Haley pushed away his hand from her center and guided his member back to that very spot. In response, Nathan shifted his weight to his arms and began to hover above her, as he let the tip of his member settle at her entrance. Nathan closed his eyes and took in this incredibly temping position. "Oh, God, Hales," he mumbled as he rested his forehead on hers.

"I just want to feel you there, Nathan. Please? Just let me feel you…" Haley had her eyes closed as well, as she felt her need for him growing stronger. They remained in place and as the anticipation began to build, their hearts began to race, and breathing became labored.

Nathan opened his eyes and looked at Haley. God, she was beautiful to him. In fact, she was everything to him. He couldn't imagine a life without her and he felt so lucky to even be in position like this with her. He thought ahead to their future and became excited at the idea of making love to her in the way she deserved. To a time, when he could do that, when it would be okay to do that. But the thing was, tonight was not that night and he knew that. He suspected she knew that as well.

Then he felt the throbbing of his erection and pushed ever so slightly into her body, causing her to cry out. It would be so easy to keep going, to give them both what they wanted in that moment. He knew, and she probably knew as well, that if that started, if he pushed into her like she wanted, it still wouldn't be enough and in the end, they would undoubtedly end up having full-fledged sex. At a party. In some stranger's bed. Not being able to spend the night together. After having too much to drink.

Without a condom.

He couldn't do it.

"I can't, Hales."

Nathan moved off of her and fell on his back.

Haley lay there utterly confused at the whirlwind of events that had just happened. They had been so close…Overwhelmed, she quickly became emotional and rolled to her side, softly began to shed some tears.

Nathan thought he couldn't feel any worse until Haley begin to cry. Her back was facing him, but he see her shoulders lightly shaking and could hear her slight sniffling. He literally could not stand to hear her cry, especially when he was the cause of it. He wrapped his arms around her and was grateful when she didn't push him away.

"Don't be mad at me, Hales." Nathan tried to think about how to explain how he was feeling in a way that she would understand, because his earlier attempts clearly hadn't done the trick. "Haley, I know you want this, but…this isn't what I want. I don't want our first time to be like this. I don't want _my first time_ to be like this."

Haley slowly turned around in his arms so she could face him. His words had affected her. She had never truly considered the fact that this was Nathan's first time as well. That he had actually been waiting longer that she had; that he deserved to have an opinion about what their first time would be like. "You don't?"

Nathan used his thumb to lightly brush away some of the tears streaming down her face. "No. Not like this. I want it to be special, just like you said. I know you don't see how that can happen, but I promise you-it will. When this happens, Hales, and _it will happen_, we're never going to forget it…and I can't help but think that it won't mean as much if it happens like this."

Haley nodded slightly, knowing he was right. Deep down she'd known it all along and had just been fighting it. She had this idea that once she'd made up her mind that she was ready, it would _just happen_, but now she was starting to become grateful that Nathan had been able to think it through.

"Haley?"

Haley attention snapped back to Nathan as she looked into his now blazing blue eyes. God, how those eyes told her so much about him; about how he felt about her. She could feel how much he loved her, just from the way he was looking at her. "I love you, Nathan. I'm so sorry I just assumed you'd want to have sex, just because I did and—"

Nathan laughed. "Haley, you don't get it." He began to running his hand through her hair, as she looked up at him expectantly as he decided to explain his earlier thoughts to her as bluntly as possible. "I don't want to _have sex_ with you…I want to _make love_ to you, Hales. _I want to_ _spend the night making love to you the way you deserve_."

Haley felt a bolt of electricity running through her body as he spoke, as she threw her head into his chest. His words were overwhelming on so many levels. First, the way he spoke, his choice of words, all just made her want him all over again. Second, she'd never considered the idea of making love all night. God, what exactly did that mean? Would they really be making love all night? Was that possible? This possibility excited her even more. "God, Nathan," Haley muttered into his chest.

Nathan could still sense her need for him, but he now sensed a shift in her. She was now trying to calm herself as she rested against his chest. Nathan continued to stroke her hair, in an effort to soothe her. "Trust me, Haley. It'll be worth the wait."

Haley pulled back and looked up at him seriously. "You need to stop it," she said sternly.

"I—"

Haley put her finger to his lips. "Stop. I know you're trying to help, but you're not," she pointed out. "Just hold me, will you? Don't touch me, don't say anything—just hold me. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

Haley nestled her hand back to his chest and Nathan rested his hands at the small of her back and they settled into a comfortable silence.

For the next few minutes, they both calmed themselves and their bodies began to relax and their breathing began to slow. Once she felt comfortable again, she looked up at Nathan to see if he was sleeping. She couldn't help but smile when she saw he was still wide-awake.

Nathan smiled back at her and then furrowed his eyebrows at her causing her to burst into laughter. He continued to tease her, making even more funny faces at her, which just made her laugh even more. She couldn't get over how incredibility intimate she felt in this moment. She truly felt as if she could say or do anything and it wouldn't change a thing between them, except maybe bring them closer. Haley smiled up at him as she let all her inhibitions go.

"What?" Nathan asked curiously. Haley was grinning at him with an amused expression on her face and he just had to know what that was about.

Haley slowly drew her finger up to his face and ran a few circles over the small freckle he had under his right eye. "I've always loved this part of you," she softly admitted.

Nathan watched her hand return to her chest and he tried to find some words to fill the silence. To say he was touched was an understatement. He was pretty sure no one had ever mentioned that freckle to him in his whole life, and here Haley was saying how she had not only noticed it, but that it actually meant something to her. Unable to adequately respond to this with words, Nathan settled on giving her a soft kiss on the lips instead. When he pulled back, he saw Haley still looking at him just as intently as before, maybe even more so. He began to feel his arousal return and decided to lighten things up again. He lightly ran his finger over her forehead as a small smile escaped his lips. "You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you should get another tattoo right here, that says 'Nathan Scott's Biggest Fan."

Haley narrowed her eyes at him and tried to push him away. Nathan just laughed as he held her even tighter, to the point where she was unable to move at all. "I hate you! You made me forget I was mad at you, but I was. I'm still mad! You intentionally embarrassed me in that kitchen, when you know how much I hate that!" Haley continued to try and wiggle out of his arms, but his grip on her remained solid. She finally gave up and just looked up at him and scowled.

"Okay, you really want to know what I think," Nathan said, his tone a little more serious.

"No!"

"Well, too bad because I'm going to tell you anyway. I think you like to hide, Haley James, and you're pretty good at it; _really good_ in fact. But I also think that you know that when you're with me, you can't hide because I won't let you. You know that I want everyone to see what an _amazing _person you are and I think you secretly like that."

Haley was speechless. How could he know that about her? How could he know these things that even she didn't know about herself? She struggled with the silence in the air, determined to say something; to say anything. "I've never felt this way before, Nathan. I mean, I didn't think I could ever be more in love with you…but being here with you like this…I don't want this to end."

"I know." Haley's brown eyes glistened up at him and Nathan wanted nothing more than to show her exactly how he felt, but he exercised his restraint and tried to articulate it instead. "Haley, I think, as crazy as this may sound, it's just going to get better. The way we feel about each other—it's going to get stronger. I mean, one day we're going to be together all the time and spend every night like this. Think about how that will be?"

"We'll probably get sick of each other, Nathan," Haley was quick to point out.

"Speak for yourself." Nathan then grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth, where he began kissing each finger, one at a time. He then lingered over her pinky finger.

Haley watched as he put her entire finger in his mouth and pulled of her ring with his teeth. He then proudly smiled at her, as he flashed the ring on his tongue.

"Hey! Give it back!" Haley demanded. Nathan held out his tongue for Haley to take the ring back. Haley grabbed the ring from his tongue and tried to put the ring back on her finger, Nathan clasped his hands over hers.

"Read what it says," he gently instructed her.

"N.S. + H.J." Haley read with a roll of her eyes. What was he trying to get at here? Of course she knew what it said; she'd examined it a million times.

"Read the last part."

"Always…and…forever." The words came out her more slowly than she'd anticipated. They weren't able to roll off her tongue because they held such meaning.

"That's how I feel, Haley. I'm always going to love you—forever."

"Me too," Haley murmured as she leaned up to grant him a kiss. As she went to pull away, Nathan grabbed her lower lip with his teeth and gently bit down. Haley felt a mixture of annoyance and passion sweep through her, as raked her lip through her teeth. He was messing with her, and what made it even worse, was that he knew exactly what he was doing and how it was driving her crazy. When he was finished a broad smile swept over her face and which annoyed her even further. "You are a dork."

Nathan scoffed. "No, Haley, you're the dork in this relationship. I mean, how could you not know that _Jack Daniel's is whiskey_!"

"Oh, shut up, 'boy toy'," Haley quickly retorted.

"I'm _your boy toy_," Nathan grinned as he corrected her.

They lay that way for a long while; switching off between teasing, gentle kisses, soft touches, and intimate whispers. Then, when they finally looked at the time, they both reluctantly got out of bed and began to get dressed.

Haley was sure to make back up the bed, and when she was finished, she looked up at Nathan and tried to stifle her laughter.

He had put back on his dress shirt, which was entirely wrinkled, untucked, his tie was simply draped around his neck and he was suffering from serious case of bed hair.

Haley then took a quick look in the mirror at herself and gasped. She looked entirely disheveled as well. Nathan quickly appeared behind her and tried to smooth out her hair, but it was no use. She was a mess.

"Nathan! What are people going to think when we go down there?"

Nathan chuckled. "Who cares? They're going to think it anyway, Hales. You can't stop them."

"Ughh!" Haley said exasperated.

Nathan put his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him and moved his mouth to her ear. "Hales?"

"Mmmm," Haley responded, as she turned her head, allowing his mouth to reach her neck.

"Why don't you ask your parents if you can come to the wedding in Charlotte with me?" He whispered softly.

Haley's eyes flew open. "You mean—"

"Yeah," Nathan whispered in between the kisses he was laying up and down her neck.

"You want me to lie to them? To tell them I'm going to stay with Rachel? So we can spend the night together?" Haley clarified. She wanted to be sure she had understood him correctly since he'd been so upset when she initially suggested the idea.

Nathan straightened up and let out a heavy sigh. "Yes."

Haley turned around to face him. She put her hand up to his face and cupped his cheek. "Thank you."

Nathan shook his head, letting her know he still wasn't crazy about the idea.

"I love you?" Haley said hopefully as she smiled sweetly up at him, in effort to win him over.

Nathan rolled his eyes and promptly spun her around and gave her a playful push towards the door. "Let's get out of here, troublemaker. I have to get you home soon if we've got any shot at this."

Nathan and Haley found that although the crowd was dwindling, the party was still going on.

They were about halfway down the stairs when Haley spotted Damien. He was headed towards the stairs with a dark-haired girl, who appeared to be drunk, at his heels. Haley stopped in her tracks and turned around to warn Nathan, but it was too late. Damien was heading directly toward them.

Nathan gripped Haley's shoulders and pressed her up against him as they leaned against the banister to allow Damien and the girl to pass. When he was a few steps away, Damien stopped and looked Nathan and Haley up and down.

"Guess you two did a little celebrating of your own, huh? Well, you deserved it. Good game, tonight, Nate." Damien held his fist out to Nathan, but Nathan gently pushed Haley to move and the two of them left Damien standing there without giving him any kind of response.

As soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs, they were greeted by a visibly drunk Lucas and Brooke.

"Hey!" Lucas screamed, getting the attention of all people around him. "Look! IT'S THE MVP, NATHAN SCOTT! LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR MY COUSIN, NATE!"

Haley shot Lucas a telling look, trying to get him to realize what he'd just said.

"Oh shit!" Lucas whispered loudly. He turned around and faced his now growing audience. "Okay, no one's supposed to know that. Especially not Damien." Lucas dramatically announced.

Brooke swiftly smacked Lucas on the arm, causing him to mutter a series of expletives. "Damien's here," she reminded him.

"Oh, shit," Lucas said miserably, as he looked to the top of the stairs, where Damien stood glaring down at all of them.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "The Adventure" (Angels & Airwaves)

AN: So sorry for the delay in posting. I am on vacation now and much of it is a road trip (down the Southeast coast of the U.S.!) and it has been non-stop! Hopefully I will be able to catch up soon. Anyway, please read and review! What I was going for here was the most intimate experience they could have without having sex. I hope you got that…There are also some key points here that set up some things for later. So, I'd love to know what you think!


	36. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 35: "The Adventure" (Angels & Airwaves)

Haley stood at the top of the hallway that led to her den and tried to listen in on her parents' conversation. She knew they were in there discussing the possibility of her attending Coop's wedding in Charlotte which would require an overnight stay. When she presented them with the idea, her father hadn't looked thrilled, but Haley had high hopes that her mother would be able to convince him to let her go since he hadn't outright said no. They had promised her they would talk about it privately, and since the wedding less than two weeks away and with a Nathan due over any minute, she suspected they were trying to arrive at their decision.

"They're good kids, Jimmy. In fact, most days, Haley is more mature than we are!"

"But they're kids, Lydia."

"Nathan's eighteen, Jimmy. He's going to be headed off to college soon."

"That makes it worse!"

"Okay, we forbid her to do. She hates us. She goes anyway. Then, she keeps seeing him. Then, maybe, she gets pregnant. She drops out of school. She turns to a life of prostitution. Oh, there she is, smoking crack and sleeping in the gutter!"

"Oh, stop it!"

"Well, what are you really afraid of? That they're going to have sex? If they haven't already? I mean they can do it here just as well as they can there!"

"Lydia!"

"I'm just saying…We can't stop it and I'm sure Haley will come to me to talk about it when she's ready. She's not Taylor, you know."

"I know, but it just makes me nervous sending her off with Deb. Look what happened last summer…"

"That's not fair, Jimmy. Deb was going through some tough times then and she got the help she needed. We can't hold that against her….Look, we can talk to Deb and make it clear that they are not to spend the night alone together, but you have to face the fact that your baby girl is growing up and pretty soon, you're going to have to let go."

Haley jumped as the front door flew open and Nathan walked in.

"Hey!"

Haley immediately shoved him into the kitchen before he could say anymore.

"Whoa! What was that for?" Nathan asked, taken aback by her force.

"My parents are just about to agree to let me go to the wedding!"

"Good, because Jules was all over my mom so she could get a count, so I just told her you were coming."

"You did?" Haley asked surprised. It wasn't like Nathan to lie like that.

"I had to!" Nathan said defensively. He wasn't happy about it, but it seemed like once you told one lie, it had a rippling effect. The only way he was able to rationalize it was as that it was the only real opportunity in the foreseeable future to have that special night with Haley and that was all he could think about these days.

"They're coming!" Haley warned him she took a quick seat at the kitchen table.

"Hey, Nathan!" Lydia said cheerfully as she and Jimmy walked into the kitchen. "Glad you're here."

"Well, actually I was hoping to talk to you," Nathan said looking at both Lydia and Jimmy.

"Let's sit down," Jimmy suggested. Nathan nodded and took a seat next to Haley, as Jimmy and Lydia took the seats opposite them.

"So I have a few questions about this wedding," Jimmy began.

"Okay, but I actually wanted to talk to you about something else," Nathan responded. Haley looked up at him in surprise. She had no idea where he was going with this.

"Okay. Let's hear it," Jimmy said.

"I wanted to invite you to my basketball banquet on Thursday night."

"Really?" Haley piped in.

"Yes," Nathan said, as he shot Haley a quick look of annoyance. "I can have as many people as I want there and I'd like you," and he said looking squarely at Jimmy and Lydia, "to come and sit at my table." Nathan then took a deep breath and looked at Haley. "I'll have to think about whether I want you there," he teased.

"Hey!" Haley protested.

"So?" Nathan asked as he looked back at the James'.

"I think that would be nice," Lydia answered beaming.

"Yeah, it would," Jimmy agreed. "Maybe Haley can tag along, too."

"Maybe I don't want to go," Haley said, narrowing her eyes at Nathan as she tried to suppress a smile.

"That's too bad," Nathan sighed. "You won't get to see me dedicate my awards to you. I had all these nice speeches planned and every one of them started off with—"

"Don't you dare!" Haley spat out as she elbowed him hard. She was no longer finding this game they were playing very funny as see imagined lots of faces focused on her as Nathan spoke.

Nathan and Jimmy simultaneously began to laugh at Haley, causing her to get even more upset.

"I mean it," Haley warned him. "If you do that, I won't…"

"What? You won't what?" Nathan challenged her, as an amused grinned splashed across his face. He knew she was starting to get mad for real, but he just couldn't help himself; he loved to get her going like this.

Haley knew exactly what she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't say it front of her parents and she expected he knew that as well. She continued to glare at him as she tried to think of the next best threat she could throw at him. "I won't get my license!"

Much to Haley's dismay, this just caused the guys to laugh even harder.

"That's fine with me. Guess, you won't be able to make those long trips up to Duke, huh? Make sure you use all three names, Nate, will you?—Haley Bob James," Jimmy said.

"Maybe you won't want to go to that wedding, too," Lydia chimed in. "That's too bad because your father and I decided we thought you two were mature enough to handle a night away, but if you're too upset with Nathan, Haley, that's fine. You can stay home," Lydia said with a sly smile.

Haley's anger quickly vanished and was replaced with excitement. She sprung up from her seat and gave both her parents tight hugs as she thanked them. When Haley sat back down, Nathan discreetly reached for her hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.

"So, I still have some questions," Jimmy reminded Nathan.

"Right," Nathan nodded.

"I'm taking it your mom is okay with this?"

"Yeah. You can talk to her at the banquet. She's happy that Rachel will have someone to room with," Nathan said as he slightly fidgeted. "My uncle's happy too. You met him, right? At Thanksgiving?"

"We did. Jules seems very nice and told us all about her wedding plans. So, the wedding is a week from Saturday in Charlotte, right? When were you planning on leaving?" Lydia asked.

"Actually," Nathan said hesitantly, "I was going to head up on Friday after school with Rachel. We're both in the wedding and we need to be there for the rehearsal dinner. I can take Haley then, or you could drive her up yourself on Saturday."

Lydia and Jimmy looked at each other and Jimmy shrugged, as if to suggest it was Lydia's decision.

"When is your mom heading up?" Lydia asked.

"Wednesday night. She's going to help out there for a while."

"Well, I don't see why you can't go on Friday, then," Lydia said looking at Haley. "Does that sound okay?"

Haley weakly nodded, as she tried to sort through all the emotions buzzing around inside her. Two nights with Nathan? She hadn't anticipated that one! What would that mean? Would she spend two nights with him? Would they have sex on both nights? Haley suddenly started to become very nervous as she realized that Nathan might expect this. In fact, maybe this is what he wanted; what he intended. She then began to think of how their relationship might change after this. Would everything revolve around sex? Would they continue to plan things like this? To manipulate her parents, Deb, and even Rachel, for that matter, just to have more nights like that?

"Haley?" Jimmy asked, snapping Haley's attention back to the conversation.

"Yes."

"You are to stay in the same room with Rachel. Is that clear?"

"Yes," Haley said seriously, being sure to look her father in the eye.

"Nathan? We are trusting you two," Jimmy pointed out.

Haley noticed Nathan was having trouble meeting her father's eyes as he spoke to him. "I know," Nathan nodded as he looked slightly down. Nathan then cleared his throat and added, "Thank you. I,…we…, really appreciate it. Haley's like one of the family and it will be nice to have her there."

"You're our family too, Nathan," Lydia smiled warmly.

* * *

"Okay, now I need you all to move your desks to face the projector at the back of the room so we can all enjoy this stimulating film on the digestive system while I work on my speeches for tonight's banquet," Whitey addressed the class.

Haley moved quickly, as she pushed her desk next to Rachel's. Rachel gave her curious glance that quickly transformed into a dirty look. Haley shrugged this off and waited for the film to begin and then leaned in to whisper to Rachel.

"Hey! Rach! Can I talk to you?"

"What do you want, Haley?" Rachel asked annoyed.

"Are you going to the banquet tonight?"

"It's not like I have a choice," Rachel scoffed. "What do you care?"

"I was wondering if maybe you would want to go together?"

"What does that mean? Like on a date?" Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. "Isn't that what you have my brother for?"

"I wanted to go with you. Maybe we could get ready together? And sit together?" Haley lightly suggested. "Like old times. I really want a French braid and no one can do it better than you." Rachel looked at her for a moment and Haley knew she was considering this. Seizing the opportunity, she softly added, "I really miss you, Rach."

"Whatever. I'm staying at my mom's house tonight."

Haley took this as a sign that Rachel was accepting her offer. She leaned back and began to feel better about the banquet and the upcoming wedding. She had been miffed when Nathan had invited her parents to the banquet without discussing it with her, mostly because she could foresee the problems that might develop. First, she wasn't crazy about the idea of her parents sitting with Deb, as they might make Deb stricter than she normally was towards Nathan. Ever since she returned from the treatment center, her attention had been focused squarely on Rachel, which allowed Nathan a great deal of freedom. This was the type of freedom she was looking forward to enjoying with Nathan at the wedding. Haley was now worried that might change after a talk with her parents and that Deb would be even more vigilant in keeping an eye on her and Nathan.

The other problem that Haley was worried about was Rachel. When she had asked her parents about going to Charlotte, Haley had intentionally misled her parents into thinking that Rachel and she were back on good terms and were the best of friends again. Now, with her parents poised to be sitting at the same table with them, Haley saw the potential for all her lies to blow up in her face. Thus, she had waited for the perfect opportunity to reach out to Rachel. Now, all she had to do was pull off getting along with Rachel at the banquet so her parents wouldn't suspect a thing. As for what would happen at the wedding, well, Haley hadn't quite figured that out yet, but she was willing to bet Nathan must have something in mind and if he didn't, he would come up with something; he always did.

* * *

Nathan scanned the room and let his eye settle on the source of his excitement. Haley was dressed in short sleek black dress that seemed to hug her curves in all the right places. Her hair was pulled back in a French braid and she wore just a hint of makeup that just accented her natural beauty. Nathan felt like he could just stand there looking at her all day and be a happy man.

At the moment, Haley was engrossed in a conversation with his sister, of all people. He wasn't sure how she'd pulled it off, but she had convinced Rachel to let her get ready for the banquet with her at his house. While at his mom's he had steered clear of the girls, but he had noticed them running in and out the bathroom and had heard a fair share of laughter; all of which were good signs. In a way, it was just like when they were kids. Now, the girls stood together relaxed as they chatted and giggled as they looked around the room. Then, Rachel left and Haley caught his eye and flashed him flirtatious smile that nearly made him go weak in the knees. He managed a quick smile back, before looking way as he tried to settle his nerves.

Those nerves. Yes, he was nervous he admitted to himself, but not just about the banquet. In fact, it seemed like the banquet was poised to go off without a hitch. Damien had pulled him aside earlier in the week and apologized for his behavior at the game. He had explained that his father had just put a lot of pressure on him and it had finally got to him. Nathan wasn't sure if he believed him, as Jake had been convinced it was all an act, but he decided it was definitely plausible and Damien did seem sincere. Nathan, after all, could emphasize with having an overbearing father that got under your skin and made you to do things you'd regret. He decided to give Damien the benefit of the doubt and the two guys had shaken hands and wished each other luck. Later on, Nathan had heard a rumor that Damien was getting some type of special award at the banquet, which just reinforced the idea that Damien would be able to get over his issues with him. Heck, Nathan wouldn't even care if it was some type of scholarship to a D-1 school. As long as it got Damien off his back, that was fine with him.

Daunte was another issue. Dan had promised to take care of everything, but Nathan hadn't heard anything and was afraid to ask his father if he'd made any progress. Thus far, the only thing he knew was that his father had insisted on going to the banquet and had demanded to sit as his table. Nathan didn't know what to make of this since it would mean both his parents would be at the same table, but he decided they would have to deal with these kinds of things sooner or later and it might as well be now. So far, his parents seemed to be on cordial terms and having Lydia and Jimmy around seemed to ease the tension. At this point, Nathan was anxious to get this banquet over with so they could all move on.

It is what was coming up after the banquet that had Nathan on edge. Coop's wedding was a little over a week away and the thought of spend the night—two nights actually— alone with Haley was driving him crazy. He found himself thinking about her _all of the time_. This had happened to him before, right when he and Haley had officially started dating, but it was different this time. Back then, he had thought he was in love with Haley and although he still believed that, it paled into comparison to how he felt now. They had always had that special connection, but now Nathan felt like Haley was his other half and he hated being apart from her at all. He also knew deep down that he had crossed that fine line he had once worked so hard on stepping back from. He was back to not only wanting Haley in his life, but needing her. There was just no other way about it; he felt incomplete without her.

Nathan was starting to become torn about heading off to Duke, but he was trying his hardest to focus more on the time they had together, instead of the time they would be apart. All of this made the anticipation of being with Haley, of finally _making love to Haley_, enough to send his hormones into overdrive because now, in addition to thinking about Haley, Nathan was thinking about _making love to her_, _all of the time_. No matter how he tried, his thoughts always traveled back to that and that made him grateful basketball season was over, because he wasn't sure he'd be able to focus on the court anyway.

When thinking about that night, when he imagined it, or more accurately- fantasized about it, he knew it would be amazing; that wasn't what was making him nervous. It was Haley who was making him nervous. He couldn't get over how much effort she had put into making sure their weekend happened. She had lied to her parents, made up with his sister, and apparently had even gone on the pill without her mother knowing. He could only imagine what her expectations were for that night and he was anxious to find out. Nathan shook his head as he realized that very soon he was going to have to sit next to Haley, throughout an entire meal surrounded by both of their parents. He was definitely going to have to work hard to keep his hormones in check.

In an effort shake out his nerves before the dinner began, Nathan headed over towards Lucas, who was just leaving the bar with a drink in his hand.

"Hey. Hope you have some soda there because I wouldn't want you making a fool of yourself again," Nathan said referring to the scene he'd made at the party after the championship game.

"Yeah, sorry again, about that," Lucas sheepishly apologized.

Nathan shrugged. "I think it might have worked out actually. At least it gave Damien a head's up that he's not getting MVP. I guess he's getting something else though?"

"I have no idea about that. I hope it's true because I heard him bragging about it earlier. Can't imagine what'll happened if it's not true. Did you hear anything from Daunte?"

"My dad said he took care of it,…but if not, I deal with it, I guess. Whatever he does to me, I can take it. Besides if that was the last game I'll ever play, at least it was a good one."

Lucas nodded in agreement and the two of them bumped their fists.

"So what are you doing later tonight? Brooke and I are heading to Peyton's. You up for it?"

"I have to check with Haley," Nathan said quickly causing Lucas to roll his eyes. "What?" Nathan asked defensively.

"What about _you_, Nate? Do _you_ want to go or not?

"I said, I have to check with Haley," Nathan repeated sternly.

"Whatever," Lucas rolled his eyes again. "Let me know once _Haley_ tells _you_ what _you want to do_."

"I will," Nathan said unaffected by his heavy sarcasm. He didn't really care what Lucas was implying. He wasn't doing anything without Haley and he needed to see what she wanted to do. It was as simple as that.

* * *

"I'm going to get a drink. Want me to grab you one?" Rachel offered Haley.

"Sure!" Haley said happily.

Rachel headed off towards the bar just as Brooke sauntered over, catching her shooting Nathan a wicked smile.

"Hey, proud girlfriend!"

"I can't help it," Haley laughed, unembarrassed. She just loved the way Nathan looked dressed up in shirt and tie and couldn't help gawking at him. Still, there did seem to be something off about him, as he seemed unable to return his enthusiasm as he turned away from her glance and headed towards Lucas. "Does Nathan seem nervous to you?" Haley asked Brooke.

"Well, he looks like the star of the basketball team," Brooke observed.

"Yeah, he does," Haley agreed with a smile.

"So you want to head over to Peyton's tonight?"

"I have to check with Nathan," Haley said quickly.

"No you don't," Brooke said matter of factly. "You can think for yourself, Tutor Girl."

Haley sighed. There was no use explaining to Brooke that what she wanted the most was to be with Nathan and everything else was secondary. It didn't matter what they were doing, where they were going or who they were with; she just wanted to be with him. "I know that Brooke, but we stick together."

"No kidding," Brooke said with a roll of her eyes. "It's sickening." Haley remained quiet, not wanting to get further into it with Brooke. It just wasn't worth it. She could see how from the outside it might seem, but obviously Brooke didn't understand how she and Nathan felt about each other, which was fine with her. She didn't need to explain that to anyone.

"So you and Rachel seem to be getting along these days?" Brooke asked allowing the tension to lift.

"Yeah, it's kind of nice, actually. We got ready and came over together…we've been having a good time." Haley paused as she realized that although this was not her initial intention, it felt really good to be back on good terms with Rachel. She just hoped that it would last… "I'm just not sure I can trust her. You believe in second chances, Brooke?"

"I do," Brooke said as she looked Lucas' way. "Lucas and I are proof of that."

"I guess so," Haley said slowly, unconvinced. There was a lot more to her and Rachel's relationship that Brooke just didn't know and Haley couldn't effectively explain.

"You know, you once told me that it was a risk to give someone a second chance and you just had to decide if they were worth it," Brooke reminded her as she patted her on the shoulder. "You knew Nathan was worth it, so why are you so unsure about Rachel?"

Haley began to think about this, but was interrupted by an announcement that dinner would be starting in a few minutes.

"You're so lucky. You get to sit with Keith and Karen. Any chance we could switch?" Haley asked as she eyed Dan and Deb taking their seats at her table.

"Not a chance," Brooke laughed as they headed towards their respective tables.

Haley took her seat at the table, being careful to leave one open on either side of her for both Rachel and Nathan.

"Almost show time, Haley. Are you nervous?" Nathan nudged her after he took his seat at the dinner table.

"Stop it! I swear you better not mention my name even once." Haley looked at Nathan sternly, as he raised his eyebrows at her and smiled. "I mean it!"

Nathan had been relentlessly teasing her about that all week and tonight was no different. Now, as the time grew nearer to the awards presentation, Haley was honestly worried that he was not just teasing and that he would somehow shift the center of attention from him to her as he'd threatened.

"You promise me you won't, Nathan Scott! Right, now! Promise!" Haley demanded.

"Okay, okay," Nathan conceded.

"Say it!"

"I promise not to say your name." Haley looked at him unsatisfied and Nathan sighed. "Not even once. Happy?"

Haley smiled with satisfaction as she took her napkin and placed it on her lap.

* * *

"Haley?" Rachel whispered as she leaned in close to her. "Come with me to the bathroom? I think they're going to start soon and I don't want to miss anything."

"Sure," Haley said slightly surprised. Rachel had never been the type to need an escort to the bathroom and she also found it odd that she was interested in seeing the awards presentation.

They brushed past the waitstaff, who were just getting ready to hand out desserts, and made a beeline for the ladies room. Once inside, they saw they had the room to themselves and Rachel threw her purse onto the counter and headed into a stall. Haley quickly began checking over her makeup in the mirror.

"So your parents seem to be getting along okay?" Haley asked. She then realized that she could use some more lipstick but had left her purse back at the table.

"It's about time!" Rachel called out. "God, you think they would have a clue how much harder they make everything when they fight!"

Haley began to feel a little guilty as this was something she never really considered. Nathan barely bothered with his father these days, and really wasn't home much anyway, so he hadn't been very affected by his parents continued fights. It apparently had taken a toll on Rachel though. Haley considered this and came to the conclusion that things must have really been harder for Rachel in a way. For years, her parents ignored her while they focused on Nathan and his talents, but now all their attention was focused on her. Haley could relate to that and began to feel bad they hadn't been able to be there for each other. She also knew that Rachel's situation was worse. Haley had two parents who were supportive and loved each other, while Rachel's on the other hand fought over _her_. Yes, just when Haley had stepped out of Rachel's life, the tables had turned for her and she hadn't been there to help. Maybe,…just maybe, …spending the weekend together could be a way for them to truly reconnect.

Haley began to feel much better as she convinced herself that things could be good again with Rachel. "Hey, Rach? Can I try out that lip gloss you had earlier?"

Not waiting for an answer, Haley picked up Rachel's purse getting ready to go into it, as she had done countless times over the years when they used to share just about everything. Suddenly, the stall door flew open and Rachel tersely grabbed the purse from Haley's hands just as she was unzipping it.

Haley looked at Rachel dumbfounded. Sure, they hadn't been on the best of terms, but had their relationship really gone that astray? Was Rachel really that offended that Haley was about to help herself to her lip gloss?

Rachel looked at Haley as if she was embarrassed and began to explain. "Sorry…uh…I'm just getting over a cold…and you know, I don't want you to catch anything."

It didn't take much for Haley to realize Rachel was lying. She had watched Rachel enough over the past week to know there was no hint of a cold and they'd shared makeup as they got ready earlier. Still, she didn't want to push Rachel so she decided to let it go. _For now_.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"No, don't, Haley," Rachel said shaking her head. "It's not you." Haley took a long look at Rachel and saw her emotional wall was starting to crumble. It had been so long since she'd seen that look in her eyes. She looked lost and frightened as she worked hard to fight back her tears. Haley gently put her arm around Rachel as she grabbed a paper towel and began to dab at her eyes. "I'm the one who needs to be sorry," Rachel choked out as she met Haley's eyes in the reflection of the mirror. "I was so stupid. I just…I think I needed some time to deal with, you know,…you and my brother. I just felt so alone, like you both had each other and…I had no one. Like you didn't need me."

"That's not true, Rachel," Haley said automatically as tears stung at her own eyes.

"That's what if feels like. Anyway, I never hated you, Haley. In fact, tonight I realized how much I've missed you."

"I missed you too, Rach," Haley said as the two girls embraced in a tight hug.

"I need you so much right now, Haley. I feel so out of control. I don't know how I let things get so bad," Rachel confessed through a few tight sobs.

Haley pulled back, keeping her hands on Rachel's shoulders and looked her in the eye. "What's going on? You can tell me…"

"Not now," Rachel said as she looked down. "Tonight's Nathan's night and I know he wants you there for him. We can talk later."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Let's go. I'm dying to see what this special award is they're giving to Damien," Rachel said as she composed herself. "You hear about it?"

"Yeah, that should be interesting."

* * *

"So are you excited about the wedding, Rachel?" Lydia asked.

"Oh, yeah. You should see the dresses. They're gorgeous! I helped Jules pick them out!"

Everyone looked up as Dan's cell phone began to ring. "Excuse me," Dan said as left the table to take the call.

"So what time are you leaving on Friday?" Jimmy asked as he looked at Nathan.

"Nathan and I are leaving right after school, right, Nate?" Rachel answered for him.

Haley and Nathan exchanged worried looks as they both realized Rachel still had no idea Haley was going to the wedding, never mind that she was supposed to be her roommate. Haley braced herself as Nathan prepared to speak.

"Right. Um, Haley, I hope you remembered to cancel those tutoring appointments so you'll be ready to leave then. Since, you know, this was last minute and all."

Haley could not bear to look at Rachel as felt tension fill the air. The only thing she was sure of was that Rachel's body had stiffened.

"Did you, Haley?" Jimmy asked.

"Yup," Haley said as she pushed the piece of cake on her plate around.

"It will be so nice for you two girls to be together again," Deb said excitedly. "I can't remember the last time you shared a room together."

"It might have been that time last summer when you had to rent the rooms because the air conditioning broke," Rachel said dryly.

"Actually, we roomed together all summer at the beach house, Rach—"

"About that," Lydia interjected, looking at Deb. "Jimmy and I were hoping you could keep a closer eye on the kids this time." Deb looked at her confused as Haley sank lower into her seat. She snuck a look at Nathan and saw he did the same. "Things are different now and we don't want to make sure that Haley is indeed spending the night with Rachel."

"I didn't realize that was an issue," Deb said as she looked from Nathan to Haley. "I'll make sure the girls are in rooms next to mine and that Nathan will have his room on another floor." Deb then laughed nervously. "I guess we've been expecting this day for some time; the day Nathan and Haley gave us a run for our money!"

"No, no, Deb. We trust them. We wouldn't let Haley go otherwise. We just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page," Jimmy clarified.

The conversation comfortably drifted back to the wedding until Whitey called the attention back to stage for the start of the awards presentation. Haley summoned her courage and looked over at Rachel. From what she could tell, Rachel had her wall back up, as she sat there silently fuming.

* * *

Haley had clapped so much that her hands were beginning to hurt. She had watched all the Junior Varsity players get their certificates, then listened to the JV coaches give their awards, all while observing Rachel's behavior hoping for some positive sign. Instead, Rachel hadn't said a word to anyone and had refused to look in her direction at all. So now, in addition to being bored out of her mind, Haley was becoming increasingly anxious about this situation with Rachel. She was grateful when the Varsity awards finally began, as it provided her with a distraction.

Twenty minutes later, Haley was back in the same frame of mind after watching the Varsity boys get their certificates and seeing the State Championship trophy handed out and passed along the players. She had tensed up as Nathan was given his awards for breaking his records, but relaxed again once she realized he was not, in fact, expected to give a speech. The way Nathan had lead her on about his supposed speeches might have bothered her more if she wasn't preoccupied with Rachel's demeanor. For now, she was just relieved it was one less thing she had to worry about.

Haley straightened up as Whitey appeared back on stage to hand out the final awards. She knew one of them would be an award for Damien, whatever that was, and another had to be the coveted MVP one.

"And now we are down to the last three awards for the night; and the three most important ones if you ask me," Whitey explained. "All three awards were chosen by the coaches, based not only on the efforts of these young men as seniors, but for their hard-work and dedication playing four years of basketball for Tree Hill High School and helping to make the Raven's North Carolina's State Champions!" Whitey voice boomed causing the audience to clap and cheer wildly.

"Okay, so first up is a young man that has defied all odds playing basketball. He has worked his way up, all of his _own accord_ to be the best player he could be. A leader for his team, both on and off the court, always there to support his teammates and one of the most _selfless_ players I've ever coached…Yes, the recipient of this award is someone I've wanted to recognized for some time and I'm so happy I finally have the chance to do so…Now, I'd like you to all give it up for co-captain of this year's State Champion team…" Haley looked at Nathan puzzled, and he shrugged. The person he was describing couldn't be Damien, so it must be the other co-captain, Nathan, but it didn't make any sense since Lucas as the one who was supposed to be presenting that award. "The recipient of this year's Sportsmanship Award—DAMIEN WEST!" Whitney proudly announced with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Haley knew from the brief moment of stunned silence before the obligatory clapping that something was terribly wrong. She watched as Dan and Nathan looked at each other with grave expression on their faces and in the distance she could see Mr. West storm out of the hall as Damien begrudgingly made his way on stage, grabbed the trophy and left the stage without even shaking Whitey's hand. Whitey didn't seem fazed by this and instead, it appeared as if he found the whole thing to be amusing.

"What's going on?" Haley whispered to Nathan.

"That's the award no one wants. It's like the 'worst player we feel bad for you' award. They stopped giving them out because all the complaints they were getting."

"So why did Whitey do that?"

"Look at him, Hales. He's been waiting for four years to stick it him and his dad," Nathan sighed. "It's some kind of joke to him. I'm just not sure if he realizes what he's gotten himself into."

"What about you, Nathan? This can't be good for you," Haley asked as she felt her heart drop.

"It'll be fine," Nathan said unconvincingly as he turned his attention back to Whitey.

"This young man is someone who I have the utmost respect for as one of the most underrated players I've ever coached. A role-model who plays according to principles, both on and off the court, he has the attitude of team-player, the talent of a Division One athlete, an unofficial co-captain and in my opinion, _the heart of the Ravens_. I'm proud to give this year's Coaches' Award to…JAKE JAGIELSKI."

Nathan immediately sprung to his feet in a show of support for his teammate, and was swiftly followed by the rest of the team as they watched a beaming Jake take the stage. The two men shared an emotional hug and Haley looked over to see Jake's parents and Peyton tearing up at the sight.

"Thank God," Nathan whispered to Haley as he took his seat. "He never gets any recognition and he's so damn humble. See, Hales? It's all working out in the end!"

Haley offered Nathan a feigned smile and began to look around to see if Damien had returned. When she saw his entire table cleared out, she figured they had all left in protest. She could only think that wasn't a good sign. When she met Nathan's eyes, she saw the same fear, and she began to realize he had been not only trying to convince her everything was okay, but also himself.

"And now, our final award of evening, the Most Valuable Player's Award, I'd like to invite Lucas Scott up to present this award because it really is an award from the team and I know it would mean a heck of lot more coming from a looker like Lucas than an old crusty man like me!" Whitey announced, setting of a round of amused laughter.

Lucas took the stage and nervously looked around as he straightened out his piece of paper. Haley instinctively moved her hand to Nathan's knee as they settled in to listen, and within in a second, Nathan clasped his hand over hers. He was determined to share this moment with her as best he could.

"Good evening, everybody. Tonight I was asked to present a very important award to a very important person, even if it was only because of my good looks," Lucas drifted from his script as he began to loosen up. "The Most Valuable Player's Award honors not only the best player on the court, but also a true leader off the court. An MVP not only leads the team in points or rebounds, as this person does, but also leads by example, and we are very proud to follow it the footsteps of our leader, my cousin, our Most Valuable Player, NATHAN SCOTT!"

By the time Nathan had made his way to the stage, the entire audience was on their feet, giving Nathan a standing ovation. Nathan and Lucas shared a brief guy hug, and Lucas handed over the trophy to Nathan. As Nathan looked at the trophy, his eyes filled with pride and awe, his teammates began to taunt him.

"Speech, speech, speech!"

Lucas gave his cousin a slight push towards the microphone and Nathan reluctantly put down the trophy.

"Okay, I'm, uh, not real good at speeches, so I just want to thank first and foremost, Coach Whitey Durham, for giving me four years I'll always remember, my teammates for putting up with me, my family, including my father, for helping me get this far, and…" Nathan paused as he looked directly at Haley and smirked… "my girl, because I couldn't have done this," Nathan said pointing to the trophy, "without you."

Haley could feel all eyes turning on her as she heard a round of "aww's" from the ladies, and chuckling from the guys. Instead of feeling embarrassed like she expected, or furious at Nathan for going against her wishes, she felt proud. He was just being sweet after all, and she was lucky to have someone who felt that strongly about her.

"So thanks!" Nathan proudly picked up the trophy and headed back to their table, as Whitey made his way back to the podium to end the evening.

"I didn't use your name!" Nathan said as soon as he reached Haley.

Haley simply grinned at him and leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "I love you." Nathan grinned back at her in a way that began to make her self-conscious. "What?"

"You just kissed me in front of everyone," he teased her. Haley's cheeks began to flush as she that realization hit her. She quickly regrouped as she became confident that this was a good sign. It was first time, after all, she hadn't even thought about how she looked to other people and that as a good thing. "I guess I did. You have a problem with that?"

"No, but your parents are right over there, so maybe we should cool it down till we get out of here," Nathan murmured into her ear.

Out of the corner of her eye, Haley saw Rachel grab her purse and begin to head out. "Give me a minute!" Haley followed Rachel and picked up some speed, just before she was about to enter the ladies room. "Rachel!"

To her surprise, Rachel turned around and waited for her. As she caught up with her, Haley's eyes shifted to Rachel's purse, which she was gripping tightly. Rachel saw this and reacted quickly. "I don't need a chaperone, Haley."

"I know. I just, uh, some people are going over Peyton's. I thought maybe you would want to come?" Rachel looked at her blankly. "Or not. Maybe we could go back to your house. I mean your mom's right? We could watch a movie or…something?" Haley asked desperately.

"I have plans. But you know what, Hales? I guess we'll be having plenty of time to spend together coming up, huh? We can," Rachel's eyes began to light up dramatically as she spoke, "stay up all night, and braid each other's hair, and paint our nails and girl talk. That was your plan all along, right?" Rachel challenged her.

"Rachel,—" Haley began guiltily.

"Don't look at me that way!" Rachel seethed. "I'm not your pity case. Just leave me alone." With that, Rachel flew into the restroom leaving Haley speechless outside.

Her mind racing, Haley made her way across the room to Nathan. She stood back, as he was currently speaking to a few of his teammates and their parents.

"I don't expect to play right away. You have to work your way up, earn you way up," Nathan patiently explained.

"But Duke was looking for a point guard, right?" one of the father's asked.

"Yeah, but they do already have one. He's a junior so I think they were looking ahead—"

"Nathan, I bet you'll take his position in no time! Coack K is all about winning and he doesn't pull any punches. He's going to play his best player."

"We'll see." Nathan then noticed Haley standing a few feet away watching him as she played with her pinky ring. She had taken it off, read the words engraved on the inside and was in the process of putting it back on, when he excused himself to go talk with her.

"What's wrong, baby?" Nathan asked as he slipped his arms around her waist.

"Rachel. She hates me again," Haley said miserably. "I don't know what to do."

"She doesn't hate you, Hales," Nathan assured her. "She's just fucked up."

"I know that and what kind of people are we, Nathan? We were supposed to be there for her. Maybe we're the reason she's so fucked up!"

"You can't think that, Haley. We tried to help her but we just couldn't. It's up to my parents now."

"It's bad, Nathan. She's got something in her purse. I just know it."

"Like what? She's not cutting again. At least we can see that."

"I don't know. Maybe drugs? You think she's into drugs?"

"No, not Rachel. She's not that stupid, Hales. Maybe pot, that seems to mellow her out, but that's it."

"She's not mellow, Nathan and she hasn't been for a while."

Nathan deeply sighed and nodded. He couldn't deny it was true. In fact, if anything, Rachel's behavior had been more high-strung and erratic over the past few months. "Okay, we'll figure it out. We'll be spending the weekend together and you'll be staying with her…"

Haley's eyes widened at his words as she felt a stab in her heart. "What do you mean I'm going to stay with her? That wasn't the plan!"

"I know, but maybe it's for the best. My mom's going to be watching and your parents would kill me, and Rachel needs us…"

"But, Nathan!" Haley whined.

"We'll play it by ear, huh? Let's just see what happens. We may not be able to have it all, Hales and if you think we need to help Rachel…"

Before she could process that thought, she saw Brooke heading their way with fierceness and determination, with Lucas tagging behind her. "Why do I feel like we're in trouble?" Haley asked as Nathan let go of her waist.

"Are you going to Peyton's?" Brooke asked.

Nathan and Haley looked at each other and realized they had forgotten to talk about that.

"Do you want to?" Nathan asked Haley.

"Do you want to?" Haley asked back.

"Let me make this easy for both of you," Brooke said pointing at them. "You both want to and you're both going." Brooke turned around to leave but then spun quickly back around. "Except you're not acting like that all night! Haley, you're hanging out with us girls and Nathan, you can do whatever it is you do with the guys!"

Lucas proudly grinned at them as Brooke stalked off. "Guess she told you! Jake's going to drive us. See you later?"

"Sure," Nathan agreed with a nod.

Once he was out of earshot range, Haley looked up at Nathan. "We're so not going there, are we?"

"Not a chance in hell. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know." Haley tried to think of someplace quiet, where they could be alone, maybe outside since it was nice, cool night. "I know!" Haley's eyes lighting up. "What about that place you took me by Cape Fear? With the beach?"

"And the really long walk?" Nathan reminded her as he eyed her high heels.

"I can handle it!" Haley sincerely promised.

"It'll be dark…"

" You can protect me," Haley said as she began to fiddle flirtatiously with his tie. "Come on, it'll be so nice. We can look at the stars, put our feet in the water, and… be alone."

"Fine. I'm really interested in seeing you walk all that way in your shoes!"

* * *

"Oh my God!" Haley said throwing off her shoes as soon as they reached the beachfront. She swiftly ran over and stuck her feet in the ice cold water and began to cringe.

"You okay?"

"Yup," Haley winced. "It's just a little cold, but I want my feet numb anyway!"

"Haley! You should have let me know," Nathan chastised her, as he began to take off his own shoes and socks.

"I didn't want to complain and I didn't want to turn around. Besides, what would you have done?"

"Carried you," Nathan said earnestly.

"Ha!" Haley scoffed. "There is no way I'd let that happen!"

"Get off it, Haley. Who are you trying to impress? It's just me!"

Haley stuck her tongue out at him, but secretly realized he was right. She watched as Nathan stuck his hand in to feel the temperature of the water and used the opportunity to splash him with her foot.

Nathan quickly backed away, but then slowly began to move toward her. "You better watch it, Haley," he warned. Haley turned and quickly began to run away, squealing. Nathan took off after her, but moving back to beachfront to trace her movements. "It's too cold, Hales. You're gonna have to come out sometime."

Haley suddenly stopped when she reached a small boat that was pulled up onshore facing down. "Hey, what's that Nathan?"

Nathan walked over to the boat and flipped it over and examined it. "It's a rowboat." He leaned down closer to it and took out his cell phone and used the light to examine it further. "It's actually Damien's."

"Really? Doesn't that mean he's here?" Haley asked nervously as she came out of the water and closer to Nathan.

"No. He just leaves it here sometimes. I guess he must be coming out here fishing."

"He just leaves it here?"

"Yeah. We're the only ones we come here and it has his name on it so even if someone does, it's not like anyone's going to touch it."

"Oh." Haley just couldn't stand the idea that Damien knew about this spot and had been coming here as well. "Maybe we should go."

"We're fine. He's not here. He always takes his SUV here. Let's sit down."

Haley watched as he took a seat on the sand and gestured for her to join him. They were still in their dress clothes from the banquet, although Nathan had shed his tie in the car and had unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt. Haley walked over and curiously looked around, realizing that she would just have to let go of the fact that she would just have to get her fancy new black dress dirty since this was spur of the moment and they had no blanket,.

"Go there," Nathan said pointing to a spot next to him, "and put your feet here," he pointed to his lap. Haley brushed the sand off her feet and put them where he asked. She shifted her weigh to her elbows as Nathan went to work massaging her feet.

After a minute, Haley could feel the effects of his efforts as she began to deeply relax. "God, that feel so good," she moaned.

"I'm just getting started," Nathan responded as he began to move his thumb in circles on the inner sole of her foot.

"Oh yeah, that's it," Haley said as she closed her eyes.

"Do you know that you have twenty-six bones in your foot? You also have over thirty joints and," Nathan paused as if doing calculations in his head, "nineteen muscles, maybe twenty. Oh, ligaments and tendons too, those are different you know."

"How do you know all this?" Haley asked curiously. Although she knew he was smarter than most people realized since Nathan he was a textbook underachiever, she was surprised he had retained so much information about something like the anatomy of the foot.

"I'm an athlete, Hales, I have to know about this stuff. Your feet are one of the most important parts of your body. Plus, I have had so many injuries over the years and I've lost count of the number of times I've been in physical therapy, not to mention I'm practically best friends with our sports trainer."

"Wow! I never realized that," Haley said honestly. "Tell me more."

Nathan then began to point out all of the various parts and functions of her foot, as he continued his massage, pausing only to switch her feet. Haley was truly amazed at how much he knew and at how his eyes light up as he spoke. He seemed pleased with himself as his continued to ramble on. "And that is why you need to take good care of your feet, Haley James. Those shoes you wear are horrible."

Haley rolled her eyes as he reached is final conclusion. "So that was all some lecture, huh?"

"Did you enjoy it?" Nathan smirked, as his massage began to travel from her foot up her the length leg. "Want me to tell you more?"

"Yes," Haley answered weakly.

Nathan looked at Haley intently and ran his hand up and down the lower half of her leg. "Here you have your tibia and fibula." His hand then slowly moved over Haley's knee and reached just up under her dress. Her heart began to beat faster as he rubbed her leg and looked at her with lust in his eyes. "This is your femur…"

Haley closed her eyes and took in his touch, growing hotter and hotter the more his hand moved up her dress. When his hand couldn't move up any further, he then repeated his actions with her other leg.

"I wish I could go further, Haley, but you're dress is too tight, not that I'm complaining…" Nathan then pulled Haley up and onto his lap.

She twisted to her side so she could see him and put her arms around his neck. "That was really good. You could charge money for that!"

"Oh, really," Nathan laughed. "Is that what you want me to do? You want me to start give other girls foot and leg massages and start charging them?"

"No!"

"No?"

"No."

Nathan eyes skimmed up and down Haley's face before he settled in on her eyes. "So? Who am I allowed to give these massages to?" His deep and husky voice sent shivers through Haley's body.

"Just me," Haley said softly.

"And how much should I charge?"

"How much do you want?"

"I want all of you, Haley."

Haley moved her hands to Nathan's face and pulled him towards her. Her lips crashed on his with the intensity that had been building all night.

Feeling like he was losing control of himself, Nathan eventually pulled away and again looked Haley up and down. It might have been the way the moonlight was shining down on the water creating an aura of peace and serenity around them, but Nathan felt like he couldn't stop looking at her and he was not ready for the night to end.

"What?" Haley asked as she became self-conscious as Nathan continued to just sit and watch her.

"I was just watching you…." Even in the dark, Nathan could see Haley blushing at his words. He moved his hands to her back and began gently rubbing her back. "You know," Nathan said as he located the zipped on the back, "if you let me take off this tight dress, I could give you an even better massage," he suggested with a wicked smile.

"Nathan!" Haley said lightly hitting his shoulders. "Don't you dare!"

"Why not?"

"Because we're outside!"

"We're alone, baby," Nathan pointed out. "That's why you wanted to come here, right?"

"No, Nathan…I just can't do that," Haley said definitively.

"Someday, Hales. You'll see," Nathan smirked.

"I'm not like that, Nathan. You should know that!"

"I do know you, Haley James, and I'm telling you that once you're with me, there's no going back!" Nathan said cockily.

"You're just so sure of yourself, huh?"

"Yeah…and I'm sure about you." Nathan then turned serious. "I'm sure that you're my future, Haley. I just know that."

Haley's face light up as she heard his words, but was so overcome with emotion, she wasn't sure what to say.

"Tell me, Haley…What's in your future?" Nathan prodded her.

"You, I hope. Lots of you," Haley said cupping his face as he smiled.

"What else? What are your dreams, Haley? You still want to be a teacher?"

"Yeah. I think I want to teach high school. Probably english, like Mrs. Burns. But maybe I'll join the Peace Corps first."

Nathan burst in laugher as Haley's last suggestion. He couldn't help it. It was just like Haley to want to do something like that.

"What?" Haley asked defensively. "Is that really so funny?"

"I..I think it's crazy, but if that's what you want, Haley…"

"Oh, so it's okay for your dream to be in the N.B.A., but I'm the crazy one because I want to see another part of the world and try to help people?"

"No, but…Haley, where did this come from? I've just never heard this before."

"We learned about it in history when we studied JFK's presidency and I thought it sounded cool so I looked it up online."

"Okay, well,…you know, Hales, I'm going be making tons of money and we can just travel the world. Wouldn't that be better than going to some third-world country?"

"The point is to go to a third-world country, Nathan. That's where they need help."

"Still…"

"Well, what about you, Nathan? What dreams do you have besides playing basketball? What about after your N.B.A. days are done?"

"I'm going to make so much money; I'm never going to have to work again!" Nathan paused and added, "And neither will you, baby. You won't have to work at all if you don't want to."

"What would you do all day then? That just seems like such a waste…"

"Well, you can work then. I'm going to stay home with the kids," Nathan said with a proud grin.

"Oh, really? The kids?"

"Yes….Our kids."

"And just how many kids were you thinking of Nathan—"

"Six," Nathan answered quickly.

"What? Nathan! There's no way! I told you that I don't want to have a big family!"

"You say that now, Hales, but you'll change your mind."

Haley looked deep in to Nathan's blazing blue eyes. "With you, I feel like anything's possible."

Nathan gave her an appreciative kiss. "Our life is just beginning, Hales."

Haley smiled and then rolled her eyes. "But really, Nathan? Six?"

"I told you. I want a family like yours. Remember when I had that paper route and your dad used to invite me for in for breakfast on Sundays when I delivered your paper? That was my favorite day of the week the year I had that route. That was until my dad made me give up the damn route because of basketball…"

"My house was so crazy, Nathan! There were just so many of us and it was loud—"

"It was happy, Haley. My house was never really like that."

"Oh, Nathan," Haley sighed. "I feel so bad that your family was horrible. I wish I could have saved you from that."

"You did, Haley. You made a difference, believe me, and so did your family."

Haley leaned in and touched her forehead against Nathan's. Eventually, they began kissing again, only stopping when the mosquitoes around them were too much to bear. They both stood up and brushed the sand off them, put on their shoes and began to try and find their way in the dark to the trail just off the beachfront.

"Six is really too much, Nathan!" Haley said she tried to keep her eyes peeled on Nathan. He was about a step ahead of her looking for the trail, but she was starting to fall behind due to her shoes.

"What do you care? You're going be off working or saving the world or something!"

"Well, who do you think is going to be having these kids, anyway? That's, like, five years of being pregnant!"

"Okay, maybe four then? I'm willing to compromise."

"Ow!" Haley said as she nearly tripped over something. It was pretty dark and she was kind of scared to see exactly what it was. "Nathan!"

"What happened?"

"I stepped on something."

"Let me see," Nathan said as he joined her. He bent down picked up the object at her feet and saw that it was a trophy. He took out this cell phone and shined the light on the engraving. "Sportsmanship. Damien West," he read aloud. "Damien was here tonight. God, I kind of feel bad for him. He really has some issues." He then looked around some more. "Careful, Hales. There's some glass bottles here," Nathan said eyeing an empty bottle of Grey Goose.

"I'm scared," Haley quietly admitted.

Nathan came over to her, looked in her eyes and put his hands on her shoulders. "You trust me?" Haley nodded. "I'm telling you, he's not here. He wouldn't walk here and there's no car, but even if he was, I would NEVER let anything happen to you."

"I know."

"Come on, I'll give you piggy-back ride back."

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Rhythm of Love" (Plain White T's)


	37. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 36: "Rhythm of Love" (Plain White T's)

Haley watched from the doorway as Nathan frantically began throwing things into his duffel bag. She found the sight of his pure disorganization entirely comical. Then, we he grabbed a collared shirt from a hanger and took it off the hanger and began to fold it as if he was going to stuff it into the bag, Haley felt compelled to intervene.

"Nathan, what are you doing?"

"Packing! What does it look like?" Nathan snapped as he took a quick look back at Haley just as she swooped in and grabbed the shirt. "Are you packed? Where's your stuff?"

"Downstairs! And by the way, I've been pretty much packed for three days," Haley said smugly.

Nathan just glared back at her. "Good for you."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm not packed as you can see, I need to go run and pick up my tux, and Rachel disappeared as soon as we got home!"

"You need a haircut too," Haley had to point out. Nathan and the basketball team had fallen victim to some superstition that it was bad luck to cut their hair during the season. They had all got buzz cuts as the start of the season and all refused to get hair cuts until after the season was over. At this point Lucas and Jake had cut their hair back to normal, but Nathan still hadn't. Haley was convinced this was partially just to annoy her since she was always nagging him about it. It wasn't that long, just long enough to drive Haley crazy and she knew that he would be expected to cut it for the wedding anyway. Now, she wasn't nagging; she was honestly just trying to help.

"Not now, Haley! I don't have time!"

"Calm down," Haley said as she straightened back out his shirt and put it back on the hanger. "You wrinkled this, Nate. I'm grabbing a new one."

"Whatever. That's the least of my problems." Nathan grabbed a handful of items from a drawer and threw them in the bag.

Haley shook her head as she saw that he wasn't even paying attention to what he was doing. "You don't need four pairs of socks!" Haley said exasperated. "Step aside. I'll finish. Go get the tux and maybe Rachel will be back by the time you're home."

Nathan contemplated this for a moment and nodded. "I need something nice for the rehearsal dinner, and then there's some kind of a breakfast on Sunday—"

"I know! I had to pack myself, remember? Just go!" Haley ordered him.

"Fine." Nathan left the room and Haley quickly began emptying out the bag to see what he had packed.

Haley lifted up a t-shirt and held it out to look at it. It was one of his new shirts, one that had a Raven's State Champions logo splashed across the front and his name and number on the back. It was one that Brooke had designed for the team as a test run for the design label she was trying to get going. Haley smiled as she began to neatly fold it up and then jumped as she felt a pair of hands slip around her waist and lips at her neck.

"I caught you trying to steal my shirt," Nathan whispered in her ear.

"I wasn't going to take it….I was just folding it…"

"Right," Nathan said as he brushed Haley's hair back so he could continue his assault on her neck.

"Nathan! What are you doing?" Haley said giddily. "Don't you have to go?"

"Yup," Nathan said as he jerked away from her. Feeling the sudden loss of his touch, Haley spun around and found him grabbing a slip off his desk. "I needed the receipt to get the tux."

The receipt he grabbed was tucked right under a framed picture of the two of them on the basketball court celebrating right after the Raven's won the State Championship. Confetti was flying in the air and they had their arms wrapped around each other, both with radiant smiles just before they kissed. It was a picture that had been in the local paper and a real copy was given to Nathan the night of the banquet. Haley's heart was warmed as she spied the picture, especially since Nathan had already proudly displayed it while his trophies still lied in a box on the floor by his desk. Haley felt her hear fluttering and pouted as Nathan headed back towards the door.

"Oh wait, I need one more thing," Nathan said turning back around. Nathan headed back towards Haley and pulled her towards him and gave her long fiery kiss. When he broke away, he looked at her seriously. "Thank you, Hales. I know this weekend is going the way we planned, but we can still make the most of it."

"I hope so," Haley said right before she pushed him away. "Now go! And get that hair cut!"

Nathan left and Haley resumed her efforts. She laid out all his items and then went to his closet and picked out some outfits she knew would be right for the weekend's activities. When she had everything she needed, Haley organized them and began to put some of them in the duffel bag. That's when she felt something at the bottom of the bag; something she must have missed earlier. She closely looked at the box and saw that it was a three pack of condoms that were designed "for her pleasure." Embarrassed and blushing even though she was alone, she quickly threw the box back inside his bag as her mind began to race.

First, she wasn't sure what "her pleasure" meant; she had no idea there were condoms that were designed for that. It was just like Nathan to pick out something like that. The other thing that threw her off was that it was a three pack. Haley immediately wished she hadn't found the stupid box as she now felt an incredible amount of pressure.

It was clear that Nathan was obviously still planning on having sex with her this weekend. She didn't think they would be able to have sex even once this weekend, never mind three times. The pressure she was feeling was her own fault. She had told Nathan she was ready to take this step. She had practically begged him to make love to her at the party after they won states. Then, she helped to orchestrate this whole weekend. Now, as the time drew nearer, with the anticipation building and as the reality of the situation presented itself with the condoms, Haley began to doubt herself. She wasn't sure she was really ready for this.

Haley tried to think this through as she finished packing Nathan's things. She would have to tell him; it was a simple as that. She hated the idea of seeing the disappointment in his eyes and wondered if there was any way to avoid it. She began to wonder if she threw herself into Rachel's problems then there wouldn't even be chance for them to spend the night together. She could stay with Rachel all weekend, try to get through that wall of hers and make Deb and her parents happy at the same time. That's the way it would have to be. That was her plan for the moment.

Haley grabbed the bag off the bed and the hangers of clothes she didn't want wrinkled and headed downstairs. As she placed them by the door, she noticed Rachel was getting out of some guy's car in her driveway. The guy looked much older than them and didn't even wait for Rachel to get in the house before taking off. What a loser!

Rachel flew into the house and barely registered Haley standing at the foot of the stairs as she brushed past her.

"Who was that?" Haley asked.

"None of your business," Rachel shouted back at her.

Haley followed her up the stairs, but Rachel was too fast for her. "Rachel, I need to talk to you!"

Rachel slammed her bedroom door shut in her face. Seconds later, music blared from her room and Haley decided she would just have to wait to talk to her later.

* * *

About three hours into their drive, Nathan was going crazy. Rachel was sitting next to him in the front passenger seat, at Haley's insistence, some type of peace offering he assumed, which left Haley stuck in the back seat. This made it nearly impossible for them to have a conversation and since Rachel had her sulking routine going strong, and that left him with nothing to focus on but the road. Now, as his radio signal began to emit static, Nathan began to fish around for a new station, knowing full well that the three of them had completely different music tastes which would just lead to more problems.

"Guess what I brought?" Haley asked from the back seat of the car. She thrust a CD into the front in between Nathan and Rachel. Nathan saw his sister roll her eyes and then turn away, looking back out the window as she had for most of the ride.

Nathan took the CD, took a quick glance at it and smiled as he popped it into his radio.

"I can't believe you picked this song!" Haley said as soon as the first one began to play.

"Is this what you're going to do? Pick apart every song I put on this CD I made you? I made this last summer! We weren't even together then!" Nathan said defensively.

"You said these songs reminded you of me! I just don't get some of them and I need you to explain them to me!"

"Haley, what about the other one I made for you? You know the one with _our song_? That's the one you need to listen to!"

"I have listened to it!"

"And?"

"I agree. It can be our song," Haley said happily. "Still,…I want you to explain these songs to me."

At this point, Rachel ejected the CD from the radio, broke it in half and threw it out the window, leaving them both stunned.

"What the fuck, Rachel?" Nathan fumed.

"I am not listening to you two profess your love for each other for the rest of the ride! I've already got a pounding headache and feel like I'm going to puke. You want that, Nate? Want me to puke all over your precious car?"

Nathan ignored her question and met Haley's eyes in his rearview mirror. "I'll make you new one."

"Don't bother. It was a bad idea," Haley muttered.

Nathan breathed a sigh of relief as he spotted the exit he needed to take ahead. "Fifteen minutes," he announced.

"Thank God," Rachel said.

That was one thing they could all agree on.

* * *

As soon as the car pulled up to the hotel, which where the reception was being held, Rachel jumped out of the car. She grabbed her bags from the trunk and ran in ahead of them. Nathan and Haley looked at each other, both exasperated, and slowly gathered their belongings and let the valet park the car. By the time they reached the check in desk, Rachel was nowhere to be found.

"Where's your mom?" Haley asked. She had expected to find Deb waiting there for them when they arrived.

"I don't know." Nathan reached for his cell phone and placed a call to his mother. He spent only a minute on the phone and then began to relay the news to Haley. "We're behind schedule so she went right to the church," he explained. "We're supposed to check in, and I guess Rachel already did, at least that's what my mom said since she was on the phone with her, and she thinks you're with Rach, by the way, and then meet them there. Rachel and you are supposed to meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes."

"So what do we do? I don't know what room she's in."

"Haley," Nathan said incredulously.

"What?" Haley asked confused.

"This is what we wanted, right? Rachel obviously doesn't want you staying with her and she's already covering for you, so…"

"You want me to go to your room," Haley said nervously.

"Don't you?"

"I, uh, probably should find Rachel. We're supposed to be next to your mom and she's going to know, plus Rachel was dropped off by this sketchy guy earlier and I really want to find out what that was all about—" Haley babbled.

"Haley!" Nathan said commanding her attention. "You're going to drive me crazy this weekend if you don't make up your mind. I don't care at this point, but you need to pick one way or the other." Nathan looked at her seriously before he continued. "Do you want to be with me or do you want to try to help my sister?"

Haley closed her eyes as she realized this had been the very decision she had tried to avoid making; not only now, but for a very long time. Not too long ago, she had asked Nathan to pick her over his sister and now he was asking the same of her, which only seemed fair. She opened her eyes and looked at Nathan and knew what he meant to her; he was her future, while Rachel was her past. There really was no decision to be made.

"I want to be with you."

"Good. Let's go."

* * *

Haley lay wide-awake in bed staring at the ceiling. Nathan had gone out with the guys after the rehearsal dinner for some of type of 'last hurrah,' while she had returned back to the hotel with Tara, the wife of Coop's best man, Jeff, who was very pregnant and wanted to rest. Even though she was invited to go out with Jules and the rest of the girls, she felt awkward doing that and so she had pretended to have a headache. Rachel had continued to be distant the entire evening, even after Haley made one last half-hearted attempt to make amends on the ride over to the church. Rachel had thrown another temper tantrum, yelling at both of them that they should just be happy; that she was actually helping them with their plan as it was obvious that all they both wanted to do was spend the night together. At that point, Haley had thrown in the towel and tried her best to let the Scott's carry out their obligations as members of the wedding party.

One thing that was working in her favor was that Rachel's room was not in fact right next to Deb's. Deb explained that last minute, the hotel had not able to make that accommodation. She had apologized to Haley for this, which made Haley feel even worse. Still, Deb was so wrapped up in the wedding that she was not paying much attention to them which also made things easier.

Haley looked at the clock and saw it was nearly two a.m. and started to become very anxious. Nathan would surely be back soon. He had to be. It was a day wedding and the bridal and groom party were scheduled to meet by nine a.m. although Haley was afforded the opportunity of just arriving at the church by two p.m. along with Tara. She didn't think that Coop and the guys would stay out much later and she could only imagine the condition that Nathan would come back in. She knew he would be drinking, but she wasn't sure how much. Her biggest concern, however, was what Nathan was expecting when he came back. Would he expect them to have sex? Haley hadn't had a chance to tell him about her newfound anxieties and was dreading him finding this out in that condition, especially if he was coming back with high expectations.

Haley sat up as the door opened up and Nathan came stumbling in.

"There's my girl," Nathan grinned. "I couldn't wait to get back to you." Nathan sat on the end of the bed and took off his shoes and then looked over at Haley with a crooked smile. "I'm kind of drunk, by the way," he proudly announced.

"I can see that," Haley said as she stifled a smile. Her anxieties were gone as soon she looked at him, sitting there with that smirk on his face, his freshly cut hair, and saw…the guy she loved. It was all she could do not to laugh at him. "Come to bed, will you?"

"God, yeah. Let me get these clothes off."

Haley lay back in the bed and a minute later, Nathan, who was down to his boxers, joined her. She quickly snuggled up against his bare chest and got comfortable.

"Mmm," Nathan murmured as he held her tight. "I love you, baby."

Haley began to feel silly about all her earlier qualms and for getting herself all worked up. Obviously, Nathan had no intentions of doing anything other than actually sleeping with her tonight, as he quickly began to fall into a deep sleep. Within seconds, his breathing slowed and his grip on her loosened. Haley closed her eyes and tried her best to follow his lead.

"Please don't break up with me when I go to Duke."

"What?" Haley asked sitting up. She looked closely at him, trying to figure out if he was talking in his sleep or if he was really awake. Nathan opened his eyes and her question was answered.

"I'm scared of what's going to happen to us, Hales," he admitted.

Haley was honestly floored. She had no clue that he had been having these thoughts. It must have been the alcohol got him talking. "Nathan, I would never break up with you. Not unless you cheated—"

Nathan sprung up, startling her. "I would never do that, Haley. How can you even say that? You're the one who has all these guys drooling after you!"

"Me? You're going to have all these girls chasing after you at the parties. I've heard about the stars of D-1 teams. They have their pick—"

"Stop," Nathan said as he put hand over her mouth. "How many times do I have to tell you? You're it for me, Hales. You're the only one I want. I'm not interested in any of those groupies—"

"Groupies!" Haley said as she pushed his hand away.

"You already have groupies of your own!"

"What are you talking about?"

"All those guys you tutor! All of them have a thing for you! Every last one of them!"

"Stop being so jealous. You just don't want me around any other guys."

"Hello, Lucas, anyone? No, Haley, let me tell you—those guys are after you."

"Name one," Haley challenged him.

"Felix. You tutor him for english right? Well, I'm in his english class and Ross is not like Burns. Everyone gets an A, even me. Then, there's Joey, the freshman. Have you seen how he looks at you? What about Jason? His sister is like a math genius. Why doesn't he just go to her? Then, there's Toby whose girlfriend is pissed at him—"

"Stop it. I don't want to hear anymore …..Not that I believe you, but why are you telling me this all now?" Haley asked skeptically.

"Because after I leave, guys are going to start making a play for you, I know it. Maybe Lucas can fend them off, but he has his hands full with Brooke and—"

"Don't you trust me?" Haley asked looking at him seriously.

"Yeah. You won't cheat on me…" Nathan sighed heavily, "but I can just seeing you breaking up with me."

"Well, I won't and I don't know why you would think that," Haley said crossly.

"Haley, I've told you a million times how I feel about you, that you're it for me, the only one who really knows me, that I want to marry you someday, the list goes on and on but…_you never really tell me how you feel_. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what's going on in your head and I can only assume—"

"I've told you how much I love you—"

"You only say it back," Nathan said softly, "and that makes it different. I tell you all the time and it makes me feel good to see you light up when I do, but… it would be nice if you just,…you just," Nathan stammered, "…didn't make me pry things out of you like I have to all the time."

Haley thought about this and realized he was right. He had always been the first to say how he felt. She thought of the long talks they'd had, even going back to their kiss, the night of his junior prom when he opened up to her, then their talk after the whole homecoming debacle when they agreed to try and have a real relationship and even when he first told her he loved her. _Nothing else matters_, _always and forever_; that was all him. She could only chalk this up to their inherent personal differences. Nathan had always been emotional while she had been rational. It wasn't that she didn't care; she just needed to think things through while he was always more honest, blunt and forthcoming. In some ways, this was good for their relationship, as it brought balance, but now Haley was starting to see how this could cause problems in the long-run, which was something she didn't want. She silently resolved to try and be more open with him, but knew it would have to wait for now. After all, what Nathan wanted, what he needed from her, was not to spout off her deepest feels after being prodded. She would wait for the right time and then let him know just how important he was to her.

"You're right. Just give me time, Nathan. Just because I don't say it, doesn't mean I don't feel the same way you do. It's just that I'm not like you," she explained.

"I know and that's why I love you, Hales."

"I love you, too," Haley said automatically.

They both burst into laughter at the realization they had just reenacted the scenario they'd been discussing.

"Sorry," Haley smiled guilty.

Nathan lay back down, pulling Haley with him. "I need to stop talking so much. Let's get some sleep."

Haley disagreed with him; it was clear that if anything, they needed to do more talking and she needed him to bring that out in her. She closed her eyes and decided a good night's sleep would do them both good and hopefully she'd have the morning to tell him everything that was on her mind.

* * *

"Why are you up so early?" Nathan muttered as he glanced at the clock and then closed his eyes again. "If it were me, I'd be sleeping at late as I could."

"I have to do my hair. My mom or Rachel usually do it for me, so I'm a little nervous about doing myself." Haley sat on the edge of the bed and began to stroke Nathan's hair in an effort to truly wake him up and get him out of bed.

"You're going to look beautiful no matter what, Hales." Nathan opened his eyes again and saw Haley, with her hair wrapped in a towel and covered with a bathrobe, was obviously fresh out the shower. He promptly pulled her down on the bed and Haley squealed as she fell on top of him. Nathan removed the towel from her hair and threw it on the floor. He ran his fingers through her wet hair and pulled her head towards hers. A familiar rush went through Nathan's body as soon as her lips touched his and before he knew it, he had shifted them both to their sides and pushed open her robe. Their hands began desperately moving over each other's body as they groped each other passionately. "God, I could make love to you right now," Nathan whispered in her ear. He felt Haley's body immediately tense up as she withdrew her hands from his body.

"Nathan, I, uh, need to talk to you about that."

Nathan looked at Haley and could see how worried she was about what she had to tell him.

"What is it?" Nathan asked as he still lightly ran his hand down the side of her body.

Haley closed her eyes and took a deep breath, summoning her courage. "I'm not sure I'm ready after all."

Nathan flinched. "To—"

Haley nodded at Nathan before he could finish.

"Okay," Nathan said processing this startling news. He removed his hand from her body and rolled onto his back.

Haley felt horrible as she looked at Nathan. Just as expected, she could read the disappointment in his eyes. "I'm sorry. Are you mad?"

"I'm just… surprised. I mean, one minute you're all over me and the next…" Nathan got up out the bed and began walking around the room, making Haley extremely nervous. He was obviously upset and trying to calm himself down.

"I know I've been sending you mixed signals, Nathan. It's just…that's how I feel. I'm so confused and I'm worried about how this is going to change things with us."

"We talked about this, Haley. I thought…I thought we were on the same page. I thought you wanted to be close to me like that."

"I do…I'm just nervous, Nathan."

Nathan returned to the bed and took a seat. "I wish you would trust me, Haley."

"I do trust you. I'm just so confused right now."

"Okay, then let's just take it off the table, huh?"

"You mean it?"

"Yeah. I just want to have a good time today, Haley, and I don't want this…stress…hanging over us." Nathan then took her hand. "I still want to spend the night with you. Can we do that?"

"I want that, too," Haley said, offering him a weak smile.

"I'm going to hit the shower." Nathan got up from the bed and made his way into the shower.

Once inside, Nathan turned on the water and tried to let it wash away his flurry of emotions. What the fuck had just happened? Haley had really thrown him for a loop with this one. Sending mixed signals? That was an understatement. Things had been fine, until…Rachel. All this drama with Rachel was messing with Haley's head. Yeah, he could not seem to help the fact that this made him pissed. The last thing he wanted was for Haley to see that and so he tried to get out all his frustrations as he picked up the bottles of shampoo and conditioner and threw them. When that didn't work, he began to bang his head again the shower tiles which seemed to help a bit. He took a few deep breaths and felt even better. He vowed to stay in the shower until he knew he would be able to hide his anger from Haley. He was determined not to be the kind of guy who pressured his girlfriend into having sex.

When Nathan was finished with his shower and calmed, he headed out to find his tux. He found Haley just outside the bathroom door drying her hair as she looked at herself in the mirror. When she saw him, she gently put down the dryer and began to watch him.

Nathan walked over to the closet and saw both his and Haley's outfits hanging in their garment bags. "What are you wearing anyway?" he called out curiously as he began to unzip her bag.

"Don't look!" Haley said as she appeared behind him and pushed him away.

"Why not? It's not like it's our wedding," Nathan laughed.

"I know, but I don't want you to see me until we're at the church," Haley said coyly. "I want to look my best for you, you know, so I had Brooke design me a special dress."

And just like that, Nathan felt his anger dissipate as he looked forward to seeing _his girl_ in that church all dressed up _just for him_.

* * *

"Nathan, did you see how she's been clutching her purse? I just know she's got something in there. Oh, she's headed towards the ladies' room. I'm going to find out!"

Before Nathan could protest, Haley took off, hot on Rachel's heels. He knew this wasn't going to end well. He really wished Haley could just let this go, and just really be _with him_, but that wasn't like her. While he had been able to write Rachel off some time ago, Haley had never truly been able to and Nathan wasn't sure she would ever be able to. It just wasn't in Haley's nature. She was always trying to help people and fix their problems. He loved this about her, but when it came to Rachel,… it just made things much more complicated. Here they were, at the wedding, with Haley at _his date_, _his girlfriend_, _sharing a room with him_, and there _she was…chasing after Rachel_. In some ways, it just didn't seem right and there was no doubt in his mind that this just added to her current confused emotional state.

But, Haley was worth it. There was no doubt about it. He'd put up with this forever if he had to; he just wished he didn't have to.

When he saw her at the church, she'd taken his breath away. She looked both sexy and classy in a sheen violet dress that cinched together at one shoulder and left the other one bare. The dress hugged her waist and clung to the rest of her body, ending just a few inches above her knees. Her hair was full of soft curls that were pinned up with just a few ones spilling over. She had a matching purse and of course…some strappy high heels that had been giving her trouble all night. He had been halfway down the aisle, just returning from his groomsmen duty of seating some of the guests when he'd spotted her. He'd been just about to sprint down the aisle when he spotted another groomsman about to offer his services, but then he saw Haley politely declining and pointing at him. This was, gratefully, one of the things they were on the same page about. He had butterflies in his stomach as he offered his arm and proudly walked her down the aisle to her seat.

"Hey, honey. Have you seen Rachel?" Deb asked as she took a seat next to Nathan.

"I think she just went to the ladies room with Haley."

"Oh, good! I want the photographer to get a shot of us. I'll go get them."

Nathan began to become anxious as he watched his mother head off and decided he might as well head in that direction as well.

He was close to the bathroom when he saw Haley coming flying out the ladies room, Rachel's purse in her hands, and run smack into Deb. Seconds later, Rachel followed suit.

"What's going on?" Deb asked as she looked squarely at both of the girls.

"She stole my purse!" Rachel seethed as she pointed at Haley, just as Nathan appeared by her side. "Get of here, Nate. This had nothing to do with you."

"That's not nice, Rachel," Deb said sternly.

"They team up me, Mom. Haven't you seen that?"

"Rachel, you sound like a child," Deb pointed out. She then turned to Haley. "What is going on with this purse?"

"Uh, I thought, it was mine," Haley lied as she handed it back to Rachel. "Sorry."

"Right," Rachel said as she stormed off.

"I guess now isn't the best time to get that picture. You two be nice to her!" Deb warned them before she headed off after Rachel.

"What the hell happened?" Nathan asked frustrated.

"Nothing. I didn't get to see anything. Look, I'm done with her for the night, I promise. I'm all yours for the rest of the night, okay?"

"Okay," Nathan said unconvinced.

* * *

"Haley, do we really have to dance to _every_ slow song?" Nathan asked with annoyance as Haley led him out to the dance floor.

"You don't want to dance close with me like this?" Haley purred at him as she batted her eyelashes.

He did and that was the problem. The closer he was to her, the more turned on he got and considering how he knew their night was going to turn out, he was trying his best to avoid that. Haley, as usual, was not making this easy on him. Not only had she pulled him out on the dance floor for every slow song, but then she pressed up right against him and looked up at him with her big brown eyes and…it was over.

"I do," Nathan reluctantly admitted. He closed his eyes and let their bodies sway to the rhythm of the song. Once the song was over, he began to head toward the bar, but Haley tugged at his hand.

"Where are you going?"

"To get a drink! Geez, Hales," Nathan snapped. He looked back at Haley and saw she was hurt and immediately softened. "You want one?"

"Sure," Haley replied meekly.

Nathan headed to the bar, fully realizing he'd been being a jerk. He hadn't intended on it. He had tried, he really had, but he just seemed to be making things worse. Haley was uptight as well. She was keeping on close eye on him as well as looking around the room, he assumed for Rachel, who had disappeared once the dancing started.

Nathan was patiently waiting, trying to get the bartender's attention, when the music stop and the DJ came on. Nathan and the rest of the guests turned their attention to the DJ. He assumed it was about time for Coop and Jules to head off to their honeymoon, as all other wedding traditions had been carried out.

"And now, we have a special dedication going out, ladies and gentlemen. This song is for Nathan. Is there," the DJ looked down at his paper, "a Nathan Scott in the house?"

Nathan stood there stunned. One of the guys next to him, another of Coop's groomsman, gave him a hard push towards the dance floor. "Here he is!"

"Okay, Nathan. If you could make your way out to the dance floor, I believe you have a beautiful young lady that wants a dance with you."

Nathan shook his head in disbelief as a few of the guys gave him one final push leaving him on the dance floor. Just as the chords to "More than Anyone" by Gavin DeGraw began to play, Haley sheepishly began to make her way towards him, giving him a slight wave as she did. He became completely amused, watching her walk over. She was completely mortified; her face was nearly the color of her dress.

"What did you do?" Nathan grinned as Haley reached him and he put his arms around her waist.

"I didn't know he was going to do all that," Haley said as she put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. "He was just supposed to sneak it in."

"Oh, no…You're not hiding, Haley James," Nathan said, lifting her chin up.

Haley hesitantly looked around them. "Why is no one else dancing? And why are they all watching us?"

Nathan looked at the small crowd that lined the dance floor which included both an amused Coop and Jules. "This was all you, Hales. Let's give them a show." With that, Nathan grabbed Haley's hand in his and gave her a few twirls around the dance floor, which resulted in clapping from their audience. He did that one more time and then, just in line with song, began singing the chorus loudly to her.

"I'm gonna love you, more than anyone…I'm gonna hold you closer than before…And when I kiss your soul, you'll body be free, I'll be free for you anytime."

"Stop it!" Haley said as she laughed.

"Oh, am I embarrassing you, Haley?" Nathan beamed at her. He then pulled her closer as the final chorus drew nearer. "What on earth made you do this?"

"I was trying to be the romantic one for once. And I wanted to let you know how I feel about you."

"How's that?" Nathan asked intently as his eyes pierced into hers.

"This song, Nathan; our song. I might not have my own words, but it doesn't mean I don't feel them. Nothing else matters. Always and forever. I feel the same way." Haley then took his hand and placed it over her heart. "_You have my heart_, Nathan Scott. You have me. You can have all of me if you still want it."

Nathan was only able to hold her gaze for a brief moment before the song ended and everyone watching applauded. A fast song came on and Haley took Nathan's hand and quickly let him away from the dance floor and out of the reception room. She found them a quiet corner and put her arms back around him and kissed him deeply.

"What was that for?" Nathan asked when they pulled away. He honestly felt he was about to go crazy with all her mixed signals.

"I'm sorry I got confused earlier. I was just nervous. I still kind of am, but I meant what I said."

Nathan looked at her and tried to sort out what she was saying.

"I want to go up to our hotel room," Haley explained. Nathan just continued to look at her. "Now, Nathan. I want to…I want you."

Nathan put his hands to his face. "God, Haley! I don't think I can take it if you change your mind, again."

"I'm not going to. Can we go? Is too early? Do you want to wait some more—"

"God, no. Let's go." Nathan took Haley's hand and began to lead her towards the elevator.

Within minutes, they arrived at their room, where Nathan, quickly slipped the keycard in the door and let them inside.

As he flipped on the lights, Haley gasped as the sight before her.

There were red rose petals arranged all over the bed in the shape of a heart and in the middle was a bottle of champagne on ice with two glasses.

"Nathan!"

"This isn't what it looks like, Hales. I asked for this yesterday, and I should have cancelled—"

"It's perfect."

"Thank God," Nathan said as he slipped his arms around Haley's waist. "You want a glass of champagne?"

"Sure, I'm just going to take my shoes off and let my hair down," Haley kicked off her shoes and walked towards the mirror that was just outside the bathroom and began to take out the pins from her hair.

A minute later, Nathan appeared behind her and gave her the glass. "Let me finish that."

Haley began to sip her champagne as she watched Nathan in the mirror gently picking out all the pins from her hair. He had shed his shoes, tie and vest was just wearing his white dress shirt and black pants.

"Did I tell you how sexy you look tonight?" Nathan asked huskily as he met her eyes in the mirror reflection.

"No," Haley answered, as she began to feel anticipation building inside her.

"Do you like it when I tell you how sexy you look?" he asked he began to run his hand through her hair, trying to fish out the remaining pins.

"Yes," Haley said, wishing he would just hurry up and finish because what she really wanted was for him to touch her in a completely different way.

"When I saw you at the church, Hales,…you have no idea how my heart started racing. I don't know if I could have spent the night with you and not be able to touch you after I saw how you look in this dress."

Haley turned her head around and looked up at him, her eyes filled with lust. "You can touch me, now, Nathan. Forget about the pins."

"I was finished anyway," Nathan smirked. "So, tell me exactly what you want me to do now."

Nathan's words tore through her body as she felt her need for him growing even stronger. "I want you to take this dress off me."

Haley watched him in the mirror as his lips moved to her bare shoulder while he used one hand to unzip the dress and the other to slide her dress down. She then stepped out of her dress and Nathan turned her to face him.

"God, Hales," Nathan as he eyed her up and down. Haley smiled in satisfaction. Knowing she couldn't wear a regular bra with her one-shouldered dress, Brooke had been all too happy to help her pick out a matching corset and panty set in the same shade of her dress. She had almost chickened out on wearing it, but then, we she finally convinced herself to put it on, that's when she realized that _she wanted Nathan to see her in this_. That's when all her doubts faded and it hit her; she was ready and she really did want Nathan to make love to her just like they'd planned.

Seeing him look at her like that just further ignited her passion for him as her hands began to furiously work on unbuttoning his shirt as he began to kiss her feverishly. Once he had his shirt off, her hand traveled to his pants. Nathan stopped kissing her and waited for her to push his pants down, and when she did, he kicked them off and swiftly picked her up and carried her to the bed. He laid her down and shifted over her, careful not to put his full weight on her and then looked at with an intensity that bore into her. Haley felt her heart rate pick up and she had to remind herself to breathe. After about a minute of them lying still like that, Nathan slowly began to unbutton her corset. Haley began to curse that damn corset and all its buttons lined up in the front, as the anticipation became almost unbearable.

Once the corset was unbuttoned, Nathan gently peeled it away and threw it off the bed. His hand then appreciatively ran up the length of her body, stopping at her breasts. As he began to knead them gently, Haley's hands sprung into action as she struggled to push down his boxers. Nathan paused and shifted up, allowing her to fully push then down before he finally kicked them off.

Nathan immediately lowered his body back to hers and Haley felt her insides tighten as his hardness pressed against her leg as he moved his mouth to her breast. Haley felt like she was going to burst at the seams as she grabbed him tight and ran her hands along his back. After a minute, she felt her body relax, as Nathan shifted his position and began to give attention to her other breast. This time, Haley began to lightly run her nails up and down his back and she smiled as Nathan began to twitch. She loved how that drove him crazy. He then moved his hand down her body and slipped it into her panties. She felt his fingers gloss over her center just as his head jerked up.

Nathan looked at her and she could read the lust in his eyes. "You are so wet, baby."

"You make me like that," Haley responded, unembarrassed, as she felt her need for him only growing.

Nathan smirked before turning serious again as he removed her panties. Haley closed her eyes as he began to move back toward her. She felt him slightly spread her legs and Haley bit on her lip in excitement. She opened her eyes as she began to feel his fingers move inside her body. She couldn't deny it felt good, but she wanted more. She was ready for more.

"Nathan," Haley said desperately, as her body began to jerk towards his. Nathan shifted closer to her and began to kiss her deeply. Wanting to feel as much as him as possible, Haley slipped her tongue into his mouth which caused Nathan to increase the speed of his fingers. Haley then searched around and found the source of her need and began to pump his hardness. Nathan pulled back, and Haley watched as he closed his eyes and began to grind into her hand. This only intensified Haley's need for him as she found herself pushing away his hand from her body. Nathan opened his eyes and looked at her.

"I'm ready, Nathan," Haley said as she bit nervously on her lip.

Nathan shifted off of her and got up from the bed and began fishing in his bag. A minute later, he crawled back on the bed with his box of condoms. Haley watched as he took one out of the box and removed it from the wrapper and then smoothed it down over his member.

"Let's get under the covers," Nathan suggested as he pulled back the comforter. Haley slipped under the covers and held them up as Nathan moved on top of her. His hands slipped under her shoulders and he lifted her up slightly as he brought her face to his and kissed softly. Haley returned his kisses, as her hands moved up and down her back. As his hardness pressed against her body, she could feel herself growing even wetter as she imagined him moving inside her. Suddenly, Haley became overwhelmed with emotions as she realized what was about to happen. She thought about how much she loved Nathan; how much he loved her. How long he had waited for her and how much she trusted him. Most of all she felt the need to be close to him and to stay close to him. As if sensing her racing mind, Nathan pulled away and looked into her eyes trying to read her.

"Nathan…" Haley whispered his name, but trailed off as she searched for words to convey her emotions. What she wanted to ask him was to stay close to her like this, but that felt silly to say, so she just grabbed him tighter instead.

"I'm going to take care of you, Haley. I promise," Nathan assured. "You trust me?" Haley nodded as her eyes remained locked with his. "I think I might hurt you, so tell me if you want to stop."

"It's okay." Haley knew that her first time was supposed to hurt; that's what she heard anyway and so she expected as much. Still, she trusted him and she wanted this. She knew he would take care of her just as he promised.

Nathan parted Haley's legs and shifted so that his member was at her entrance and Haley let out small groan. He then pushed slightly and began to enter her as he slipped his hand back under her shoulder. Then, with a small thrust, Haley felt a wave of pain as he fully entered her body. Nathan stilled his movements and kissed her as they both adjusted to this new feeling. He continued kissing her as he began to move again inside, and Haley tried not to wince at the pain she was feeling. She didn't want Nathan to know how much this hurt and so she tried to focus on their kisses instead. Then, unexpectedly, Haley began to feel not only pain, but pleasure, as he pulled in and out of her gently and pretty soon she found herself unable to distinguish between the two. She grasped him tighter and to her own surprise, began moaning in conjunction with his movements. Nathan just looked at her intently, studying her, continuing to hold her as he moved in and out of her. Haley's breathing became staggered as she began to feel something building insider her.

"Oh, God, Nathan!" Haley cried out, which caused his thrusts to speed up.

"Haley, I love you so much, baby," Nathan whispered as he rested his forehead against hers and began pumping even harder.

Seconds later, Haley's back involuntarily arched up as waves began to hit her. She couldn't think; she was only feeling Nathan inside her and in that moment, she felt the closest she'd ever felt to him. Nathan thrust into her one more time and cried out her name and then collapsed against her body.

It took them a minute to regain their respective breaths before Nathan picked his head back up and looked at her. "You okay?"

Haley smiled. "Yes,…I'm okay," she assured him. "You?"

"I'm more than okay," Nathan smiled back.

"Think you could hold me for a little bit?" Haley asked. Now that she felt even closer to him, she wanted to keep the feeling going as long as possible.

Nathan gently pulled out of her and rolled on to his back and opened his arms for her. Haley crawled into them and they laid there for a while, both silently taking in the experience in they'd just had.

After a while, Nathan kissed her head and said, "I'm going to head to the bathroom. I'll be right back?"

Haley nodded and watched as he got up out the bed. "Can you get me something to wear?"

Haley looked at the clock and saw it was only nine p.m., the time the wedding was supposed to be officially ending. She began to feel giddy about how she still had the whole night to spend with Nathan.

"How's this? I know you've been eyeing it." Haley looked up and laughed at the sight of Nathan standing naked in the middle of the hotel room, holding up his Raven's championship t-shirt for her to wear. "What?" he asked as he threw it to her.

"How can you just walk around naked like that?" Haley chuckled.

Nathan shrugged as he began to head towards the bathroom. "I'm a guy, Haley," he said unfazed.

"I guess you've got nothing to be embarrassed about," Haley blurted out as she began to put on his shirt.

Nathan flew back around his mouth wide-open. "What did you say?" he asked incredulously before his face launched into a full smirk.

"Nothing," Haley said innocently.

"Haley James! Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

"Oh, just go already!" Haley said as she threw a pillow at him.

* * *

Nathan smiled as he Haley came out of the bathroom wearing his t-shirt and walked towards the bed. Actually, it was more like she was sauntering over towards the bed. As she got under the covers, she held them up and raised her eyebrow at him as she noticed he had put back on his boxers.

"Hmph," Haley said as she crawled over his body and rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him.

"What?" Nathan asked curiously. She obviously had something on her mind.

"I guess I don't see what the big deal is," Haley pondered.

"Gee, thanks, Hales. That's a shot to my ego," Nathan scoffed.

"That's not what I meant," Haley said rolling her eyes, as she began rubbing his sides. "It's just all this hype about our first time and 'being ready.' It's just…I don't feel any different."

Nathan looked at her confused. Sure, she was saying she didn't feel different, but from what he could tell, she was acting different. She seemed more relaxed and comfortable with both him and with herself. Her body was snuggled up against him and she had just begun tracing circles on his chest. Then there was her earlier suggestive comment. Just when the thought he knew her, he was finding out there were some other sides to _his Haley_, ones that he found highly attractive and enticing. He had never heard Haley say something like that and he had to admit, it both shocked him and excited him. She was definitely becoming more confident and expressive and he could only imagine what that could mean for their future.

"Do you feel any different?" Haley asked seriously.

"I'm not going to lie. I feel amazing, Hales, and I love seeing you like this."

"Like what?" Haley asked smiling. Nathan now knew she was teasing him and began to feel that familiar feeling creeping up inside him as his body responded to how she was moving over his. It was as if she couldn't stay still or get comfortable, as her legs brushed up and down his. Her hands lightly stroked the upper part of his body; his arms, his chest; she had even brushed his cheek. He then saw a restless Haley look over to the night stand, where the box of condoms lay. His body stiffened, as he began to sense what she wanted. "So when do we get to do it again?" Haley asked innocently. She laughed as his mouth dropped opened.

"Are you kidding me?" Nathan asked meekly. "You can't kid me like that, Hales. Not after—"

"I'm serious! I know you got a three pack!" Haley challenged him.

"That's all they come in!" Nathan said defensively.

"Oh," Haley said, clearly disappointed. "So that's it for tonight?"

Nathan swallowed hard. "Is that what you want?" He asked, already knowing from the way her body was responding to his what the answer was.

"I want what you want," Haley said suggestively as she rubbed her body against his.

Nathan quickly moved his hands up her shirt, his shirt actually, and much to his surprise, came into contact with her bare ass. "Haley James! You're not wearing any underwear!"

"And you are," she retorted.

"I can fix that," Nathan said as he rolled them to their sides and quickly shed his boxers. "Better?"

Haley nodded briefly before she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his as she began to kiss him fiercely. Much to his satisfaction, she pulled away a second later, only to take off her shirt and then throw herself back down on him. God, she was driving him crazy as he began to feel himself grow even harder. Then, when Haley threw her leg around his and began to grind up against, him Nathan began to feel a throbbing in his member as it came into contact with her body. Haley must have felt this as well, as her hand traveled down to that area and she ran her hand up and down his length before directing it to her center. Once again, Nathan found himself in a position where he could just easily slide into her, easing both of their immediate needs.

"Give me a second, Haley," Nathan said summoning every ounce of self-control he possessed as he reached over to the box of condoms. Nathan hastily tore at the wrapper and slid the condom on.

As Nathan returned to Haley, he knew it was going to be different this time. While they had both been a little nervous and timid the first time, this time they were driven by passion. Her hands clasped around his neck, she greedily pressed up right up against him and hungrily kissed him. Their hunger then traveled down to their hands and they began coarsely grabbing for each other, with Nathan's hands settling on her breasts and Haley's hands moving up and down his back. Then Haley swung her leg around his torso and began to grind up against him. Nathan rolled them over from their sides so that Haley was on her back.

Nathan sat up and gleefully looked at her. She was lying there literally squirming for him! His need for her began to grow even more as she cried out his name, practically begging him to join her. Knowing full well how lucky he was to have someone that wanted him just as much as he wanted her, Nathan quickly complied, as he began laying kisses up and down her body. When he reached her neck, he smiled, and then ran his tongue over the spot he knew drove her crazy.

"Oh, Nathan," Haley moaned which just ramped up Nathan even more. He then began sucking on that spot.

When he was finished with that spot, Nathan picked his head up and smugly asked her, "You like that, Hales?"

Her eyes were closed and her head was still cocked to the side as she muttered.

"How about this?" Nathan asked as he moved his mouth to one of her breasts. While his mouth worked magic on one, his hand began to work on the other.

"Oh, yeah," Haley cried out as her hands started running through his hair. This just drove Nathan even more crazy. It was as if she couldn't get enough of him and there was no better feeling in the world. Then ,when he switched breasts, he felt Haley's legs clasp around his ass. He quickly wrapped up his ministrations and when he did, he felt Haley's legs drop. She then spread them, clearly telling him she was more than ready for him to enter her.

"Oh, God, Hales," Nathan said as he eyed her body up and down. "Do you have any idea the things I want to do with you?"

"I'm so ready for you," Haley said as she looked at him with pure lust in her eyes.

Nathan shifted over her, placing his hardness close to entrance, but paused as he began to kiss her tenderly as he ran one of hands through her hair. Pretty soon, their kissed intensified and both started to grind into each other, until they both were left gasping for air.

Nathan regained his breath and then focused on watching Haley as he repositioned himself and slowly pushed into her. She winced at first, but unlike last time, it quickly faded as she left out a soft moan. Nathan waited a minute, giving her a few more soft kisses, as they both adjusted again to this incredible feeling. Then he slowly began moving in and out of her as gently as he could. This required an inordinate amount of self-control on Nathan's part as he watched Haley lose herself in what he could only assume was pleasure judging from her staggered breaths and loud moans. Then, when he began to move a little bit faster, and moved slightly deeper inside her, she began crying out.

This amused Nathan to no end. Here was his slightly shy, highly self-conscious Haley, who was hesitant to even kiss him in public, who blushed whenever he teased her, being extremely loud as they made love. He couldn't get over this new side of her. He had honestly thought he knew her better than anyone else; that they couldn't get any closer, but he was undeniably wrong. He was unbelievably excited by this new element of their relationship and being privy to this side of Haley that no one else was.

"Oh, Haley," Nathan whispered in her ear, as he moved a little deeper into her. "You like this?"

"God, yeah," Haley groaned.

Loving watching her like this, Nathan couldn't help but tease her some more. "How about when I talk to you? You want me to talk to you when we make love? Tell me, Haley."

This time, Haley just bit her lip and nodded. Nathan smiled proudly as he had figured as much. Even when they were just making out, he had noticed how Haley closed her eyes and smiled or bit her lip when he whispered something in his ear. He was just happy that he felt so clear headed in this moment that he could actually do that for her; talk to her like she wanted. So he continued whispering in her ear as he continued to move inside her. He couldn't explain it, but in a way it just felt so relaxing. It just felt so right to be with her like this. He literally felt like he could do this all night and decided to tell her as much. He moved his mouth back to her ear. "I love making love to you, baby. I could do this forever."

By now, Haley was emitting various sounds with each of his movements. "Oh, God, I love you, Nathan," she cried out in response to his words.

"I love—" Nathan was unable to finish his sentence as the words became lost to him as Haley threw her legs around him, hooking them just above his ass, and thrust her hips towards him. Knowing full well there would be no more talking for either of them, Nathan focused fully on enjoying these movements; another surprise from his Haley, as she started to meet him thrust for thrust. They developed a rhythm and pretty soon both of them were alternating between panting, moaning and crying out each other's name as they reached their climaxes.

When finished, Nathan collapsed on Haley and buried his face in her chest as he struggled to catch his breath. Then he felt Haley's fingers softly running through his hair and he immediately felt calm. He let her do this for a minute, before he looked up at her. When they locked eyes, a huge smile swept across Haley's face, as did his.

"Well, that was better than the first time, huh?" Nathan beamed.

"I still don't get what the big deal is—"

Offended, Nathan immediately sprung up, wide eyed, but was quickly pulled back down by Haley. "You can't be serious, Hales! I know you enjoyed that! Don't even pretend—" Nathan stopped when he realized Haley was laughing at him. "Oh, so you're teasing me now, huh?"

"No. It's just you didn't let me finish," Haley said sharply. "What I was going to say is that I don't get what the big deal is in waiting. I mean, God, why did we wait so long? It all seems so stupid now!"

"Oh, it does, does it?" Nathan smirked.

"Yes! I've been—Actually, you've waited longer than me! We've been missing out, Nathan Scott."

"So what? Are you like going to want to do this all the time now?" Nathan couldn't help but tease her.

"Maybe," Haley said coyly. "You still have one condom left, don't you?"

"Yes, but, Haley, I need a break! God, did I turn you into a nympho or something?"

"No," Haley said defensively as she began to blush. "I-It's just that we're not going to get the chance to spend the night together like this again and I thought we should take advantage of it. I mean, I suppose we'll find other ways, everyone does, but I don't want just quickies—"

"Haley!" Nathan said using the tone he reserved for ending her babbling.

"Yes?"

"We'll figure something out, okay? Maybe your parents will let you spend the night with me at Duke by then. Your dad already mentioned having you drive out to see me." Haley shot him an unconvincing look. "Hey, we'll figure it out. In the meantime, let me just hold you, because I'm telling you, Haley, I've never felt so close to someone in all of my life."

"Me too," Haley agreed.

* * *

Haley screamed out, louder than she had all night, and then promptly collapsed on top of a trembling and quiet Nathan.

"Nathan?"

"Yeah?" Nathan's voice cracked.

"Was that….was that good? Was that right?"

"Yeah," Nathan sighed still unable to express how he was feeling.

"Oh, gee, that sounds like it," Haley said unconvinced as buried her face in his shoulder.

Okay, so there she was…his Haley was back, the shy one, who needed his reassurance, as opposed to bold and loud one that had taken charge and moved on top of him and made him lose any sense of control.

"Haley!" Nathan wiggled his hand under her chin and pushed it up so she was looking at him. "Haley…that was so fucking hot," Nathan blurted out.

Haley's cheeks turned bright red as she stifled a smile. "Nathan!"

"You asked! Come on, Hales! Just admit that you loved being on top!"

"Nathan!" Haley said embarrassed, but laughing.

Nathan grabbed her head and pulled her in for a kiss and then rolled them over so he was on top of her. "Okay, now, I'm back in control…"

Nathan definitely felt like he needed to redeem himself and his sense of manhood after Haley had just blown his mind. He still couldn't get over how utterly useless he had been when Haley had taken charge. He hadn't been able to speak. All he could do was moan and groan and grasp for something to hold on to as she moved on top of him. In the end, he had been a quivering mess, and if it was anyone else, he would have been mortified. Instead, it was Haley…the only person he ever wanted to see him like that… and now she had seen him in the most vulnerable and intimate of circumstances and it was all because of her. Yet, he could tell that she wasn't looking at him differently and this made him feel even more deeply connected to her. She had seen every side of him. She had seen all of him. She had seen everything he had to offer and she was still there…

How could he let her know how he felt? That his feelings for her were the strongest they had ever been…That he wanted to be with her like this always—for real. He didn't want to wait any longer…He just wanted to be for her to be all his and he wanted to be all hers.

Nathan hovered just above Haley's face and looked deep into her eyes. "I'm going to love you forever."

"Me too."

"You are only true thing I have. I never want to lose you."

"You won't." Haley looked into Nathan's piercing blue eyes and knew something serious was on his mind. "What?"

"Marry me."

"Stop it!" Haley said she turned away from him slightly.

"What? Would you?"

"You're embarrassing me."

"Why not?"

"Because…we're in high school."

"I'll be in college soon, Hales."

"Is this about sex? Because we just had sex?"

"No, you already caved on that one. Three times actually," Nathan smirked.

"Maybe so, but….Nathan,…couples don't get married in high school. It's just not normal," Haley said matter of factly.

"So what? I'm not normal and what I'm feeling is definitely not normal. To be honest with you, Haley, I don't ever want to be normal,…not with you….I'm serious."

"I know you are," Haley ran her hand over his cheek. "You think you could convince my parents?"

"Your mom? Yes. Your dad? Well, your mom rules that house anyway. So…will you?"

"If my parents say yes—"

Nathan excitedly began peppering her with kisses, which tickled her. "I'll take such good care of you, baby."

"Nathan! Nathan!"

"Yes, wifey?" Nathan finally popped his head up with a huge grin.

"First of all, don't get your hopes up. I mean how can this work? You're going to be at Duke and it's not like I'm going to drop out of school to go and follow you."

"No, but if we're married you can spend the weekends. I could stay with you during breaks and we could get an apartment during the summer—"

"Oh, you just have this all figured out, don't you?"

"No, I don't," Nathan admitted. "I just want to know you're going to marry me; officially. Okay maybe not right now; maybe five years from now. I don't know."

"Well," Haley said straightening up. "I will marry you, Nathan Scott; officially." Haley then held up her pinky finger, revealing the engraved ring Nathan had given her. "Look, I already have a ring; like a promise ring."

"Oh, no. My girl is going to a huge ass engagement ring," Nathan said cockily.

"Well, your girl doesn't want a ring like that. I want something simple, like this one."

Nathan laid a light kiss on her mouth. "Of course you do," he whispered into her ear. "Haley, I was serious. I still want to talk to your parents and I want to get you a real ring."

"Okay, but no matter what they say, Nathan, it's not going to change how I feel and I'll always have this ring; I'll wear it as my promise to you."

"One day, I'm going to marry you, Haley James," Nathan smiled as he repeated the line he knew she loved hear.

"Yes, you are," Haley batted her eyelashes back at him. "But right now you are going to let me get some sleep because you totally wore me out."

"Ha! I wore you out!" Nathan smirked as they settled down in each other's arms.

* * *

Haley's eyes fluttered open, only to find Nathan watching her intently. Slowly, the events of the night came back to her. She looked at the clock and saw she had only been sleeping an hour. "How do you feel?"

"Just watching you sleep like that…I can't help but wish it would always be like this—" Nathan's cell phone began ringing cutting him off. He reached over Haley and grabbed his cell phone from the nightstand and looked at it. "Then, I turned my cell phone on. Aw, it's my mom and she's been calling like crazy."

"You think she found out about us?"

"No," Nathan said confidently as he began to listen to his messages. Seconds later, Nathan sprung out bed, alarming Haley.

"Fuck, no! This can't be happening. Fuck, Haley! Where are my pants?" He shouted as he began hunting around the room.

"In your bag. I put a pair of jeans—"

"Not those ones! I need the pants I had on!"

Haley leaned down and picked up his pants and threw them at him. "Tell me, what's going on, Nathan," Haley demanded sternly.

Nathan stood at the foot of the bed and looked at Haley and she knew it was bad. He had the same look he had the night Grams had her stroke.

"It's Rachel. She's at the hospital. She might be dead," Nathan said his voice cracking.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "How to Save a Life" (The Fray)- Perfect song for the chapter!


	38. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 37: "How to Save a Life" (The Fray)

Nathan and Haley entered the emergency room of the hospital hand in hand. They immediately found most of the bridal party in the waiting room standing around anxiously. All of them looked up and stopping talking as their eyes fell upon Nathan.

"Where is my mother?" Nathan asked Jeff, who was the first to approach him.

"She's in with the doctor. We're all waiting."

"What the hell happened?"

"Tara found her in the bathroom. At first, it looked like she was passed out, but then Tara saw she was blue. We did CPR, Nate, but it wasn't working and then this doctor came in, your mom's cousin or something—"

"Mike," Nathan blurted out.

"Yeah, he's back with your mom, I think. Anyway, I think he helped, but I'm not sure, but then when the medics came. They had to use the paddles, Nate. She didn't have a heartbeat." Jeff put his arm around Nathan as he let the news sink in.

"So she's alive?" Haley croaked out. She didn't particularly care for the details at the moment. She just wanted to know the most important piece of information.

"I think so," Jeff said hesitantly.

"What?" Nathan asked knowing he was holding something back.

"They're doing and EEG to see if there's any brain activity," Jeff said unable to looking either of them in the eye.

Just then, Mike entered the waiting room. They could all tell right away from his facial expression that the news was good. "She's okay. The EEG was good." Hugs began to flow around the room as the news settled in. Nathan, still in shock, dragged Haley towards his cousin who was hugging his wife.

"Uh, Mike, can I see—"

"Nathan!" Mike said breaking away from his wife. "You're here! I had no idea! We've been trying to find you! Come right in," Mike said as he walked back towards the restricted area.

Haley tried to break free of Nathan's grip, but it was too strong. She did not want to go in there. In fact, the last thing she wanted to do at this very moment was come face-to-face with Rachel or Deb for that matter, but it looked like she didn't have a choice in the matter.

Mike talked briefly to the e.r. nurse and they were quickly ushered in. Much to Haley's relief, Deb was the only one there when they reached the room.

Nathan finally dropped Haley's hand as his mother embraced him. Haley slowly stepped back, wishing she could just disappear, just as Mike had, and let them have some privacy. She really felt like she shouldn't be there. Then, she thought of Nathan. He obviously needed her and she owed him that, even if she felt like there were a ton of bricks of guilt weighing her heart down.

"Where were you? We looked all over! I was calling your cell phone." Deb pulled back and used Nathan's shirt to wipe her drenched cheeks and looked up at him to explain.

"We,…uh, went for a walk, then,…uh, we went to up to bed early. What happened, Mom?"

"Well, you know that she wasn't there when Coop and Jules left, and they don't know about this and don't you dare tell them—" Nathan nodded as he realized that his mother had just made a major assumption about them both being there at the end of the wedding and figured he might as well go along with it. "So then the next thing I know, we were all cleaning up and Tara came running out. She found her in the bathroom—"

"Jeff told me. He said she wasn't breathing. What happened? Did she fall?"

"Yes, but that wasn't it," Deb said slowly as she met Haley's eyes for the first time, making her incredibly uneasy. It was clear she wanted Haley to hear this, too. "Apparently she overdosed. We found some drugs," Deb choked on the words as they came out, "cocaine, actually, but I'm assuming you knew that, didn't you, Haley?"

Haley stood there speechless. Luckily, Nathan quickly came to her defense.

"No, she didn't Mom," Nathan said sharply. "She knew something was off and that's why she was trying to see what was in Rachel's purse!"

"Why didn't you tell me? Then, you two left her alone?" Deb asked growing angry.

Nathan and Haley looked at each guiltily. Haley still couldn't bring herself to speak.

Once the silence became too much to bear, Nathan cleared his throat and spoke. "Where is she now?"

"Having an MRI. The EEG showed a high level of brain activity and they're looking to rule out any brain damage."

"Brain damage?" Nathan asked shocked. This was something he hadn't even considered. Once he heard Rachel was alive and had brain activity, he had assumed she would be fine.

"She stopped breathing, Nathan," Deb said as tears once again streamed down her face. "She was dead. So there's a chance…" Deb was unable to finish her words and Nathan put his arms back around his mother.

Haley began quietly sobbing as well. Unable to look at them anymore, unable to stay in that room anymore, she headed towards the door and ran smack into Dan. Haley was forced to step back into the room to let Dan inside.

"Where is she?" Dan yelled angrily as he surveyed the room.

"Calm down, Dad," Nathan said as he turned to face his father.

"She's having an MRI. She's alive, Dan, and the EEG came back showing brain activity, so that's good news," Deb began to explain.

"Good news? You've got to be shitting me! You're telling me the fact that my daughter went away with her mother and o.d.'ed is good news?"

"It could be worse, Dad."

"No, Nathan, it couldn't be worse. You better pray she's okay, Deb, or God help you—"

"Enough, Dad!" Nathan yelled.

"Is everything okay in here?" A nurse asked as she popped her head in the door.

"Where is my daughter?" Dan growled.

"She's actually on her way back down. The doctor would like to meet with the two of you privately. She'll be down a few minutes."

"Thank you," Deb said softly. "Okay, look, we need to just wait and hear what she has to say. Nathan, can you take Haley back to the hotel and Haley, can you get some of Rachel's things? I'll like her to have them when she wakes up."

Haley looked at Nathan alarmed. She didn't have Rachel's key. Heck, she didn't even know what room Rachel was staying in. Nathan nodded at her indicating he had this under control.

"Uh, do you have her purse, Mom?"

"Yeah, it's somewhere," Deb said looking around. "Oh, wait. I think Tara has it…Or maybe I left it there." Deb put her hand to her forehead in frustration. "I don't remember. Why?"

"We need the key. I think Haley might have locked hers in her room when she ran out."

"Oh, well, just ask the front desk."

"Yeah, okay," Nathan said, realizing this might just work. He was sure everyone on the hotel staff must know about this anyway and would be willing to help him out.

"Hmph," Dan scoffed.

"What? You have something to say, Dan? Because you haven't been holding back yet! Why don't you just get it all out before the doctor comes in and you embarrass me even more," Deb glowered at him.

"You embarrass yourself. Did you really think, for one second, that Haley was staying in a room with Rachel? Get a clue, Deb. Haley's been shacking up with Nate for some time now," Dan said snidely.

This time, even Nathan was speechless as Deb looked wide-eyed at both of them. Deb's eyes than began to examine Haley, as she looked her up and down. Haley became incredibly self-conscious as she realized she looked very different than earlier in the evening. Sure, she had hastily thrown on her dress from the wedding, but her hair was down and her make-up was off. She would have trouble explaining her appearance if pressed, which of course she knew she was about to be.

"No, tell him it's not true," Deb said quietly. "TELL HIM!" Deb demanded after she was met with more silence. "Haley! You promised! I promised your parents!" Deb then looked at both of them and lowered her voice. "You both disgust me. You left her! You always left her alone! She was _your best friend_," she said looking at Haley, "and _your sister_," she pointed at Nathan. "You are both to blame for this! Get out of here! Both of you! Haley, you are not welcome here!"

"Mom!" Nathan protested as Haley burst into tears as she turned towards the door.

"Wait just a minute, Haley," Deb said as she ignored Nathan. Haley kept her back to Deb as she spoke. "You call your parents and have them come pick you up and I suggest on that car ride home you tell them what you've done before I have to tell them myself."

* * *

"Haley, talk to me," Nathan as they entered his hotel room. The two of them hadn't said a word since they left the hospital. That had been fine at first, as Nathan was fuming during the entire car ride back for the way his parents were treating Haley. He needed to calm down and assumed Haley had understood that. Then, he saw the look in her eyes and realized she was not staying quiet for him. In fact, she hadn't said a word to him since he got the call.

"There's nothing to say," Haley said as she began gathering her belongings.

"Haley, you're not going anywhere. She's just mad. She needs to calm down."

"No, she's right. I'm not welcome here. I mean, Rachel certainly wouldn't want me here. I need to go."

"I'm not driving you back," Nathan warned her.

"Didn't you hear her? I have to call my parents. I have to tell them everything."

"No, you don't, Hales," Nathan said as he came up from behind her and put his arms around her. Haley immediately began squirming, as if this made her uncomfortable. Nathan slowly dropped his arms and she scurried away.

Nathan watched as she picked up her cell phone.

"Haley, don't! It's the middle of the night! You don't need to wake them up!" Haley just looked at him unwavering. "I need you, Haley. You have to stay. Stay for me," Nathan pleaded.

Haley turned around to face him, tears welling in her eyes. "I can't." She turned back around and pulled up the number she was looking for.

* * *

"I don't think you have to tell them, Hales," Taylor advised her sister after being given the run down. They were halfway home and although Taylor had to pry out the details at first, once the floodgates opened, Haley just kept talking; babbling really. She had told her sister just about everything from the weekend.

"What if Mrs. Scott tells them?"

"I say, risk it. I mean, I'm sure it's not her top priority anyway and who knows when she'll get around to it. By then, hopefully Rachel will be okay, and Mrs. Scott will be so grateful she won't even bother."

"Thanks, Tay," Haley said as she began to think about her sister's advice. "Thanks for coming to get me, too."

"Lucky for you, I was only an hour away. Even Mom and Dad couldn't have gotten here that fast!"

"I know and I needed to get out of there," Haley admitted miserably.

"How's Nathan taking it?"

Haley swallowed hard. He had pleaded with her right to the very end not to leave. It actually got so bad that she pretended Taylor was there and left the room to go wait in the lobby. A half hour later, when Taylor finally did arrive, Nathan had spotted them loading up the car as he exited the hotel clutching what she recognized as Rachel's bag. She could only assume he was heading back to the hospital. "I don't want to talk about him."

"Haley…"

"I'll deal with him later. I just can't right now. I just feel sick to my stomach about Rachel; like I might actually throw up."

"It's not your fault, Haley. You were trying to help her. I just didn't get she was so fucked up. I mean, even with the cutting. What the fuck is wrong with that girl?"

"Taylor, there's a lot more to Rachel than you know. It goes back to when we were kids."

"Oh, stop defending her, Haley. It couldn't have been that bad growing up in the Scott mansion, with a beach house, vacations galore, a limitless credit card—" Taylor stopped when she noticed Haley was crying. "Hales? What don't I know?"

"I ca-can't," Haley stammered.

"Yes, you can," Taylor said sternly. "I'm not driving you all this way just to score brownie points with Mom and Dad. You need to talk to me, Haley Bob. Let me be the big sister for once."

"When Rachel was eight, she was raped and I was there."

* * *

"Haley? Taylor!" Lydia said putting her book down and jumped up. Jimmy put down his newspaper and looked at them in surprise as well. "Is something wrong?"

"Let's go in the kitchen," Taylor suggested. "Maybe you can make some tea, Mom?"

"I don't want any tea. I want you tell me what's wrong! I can see it written all over my baby girl's face!" Lydia said as she brushed some tears off of Haley's face.

"Oh, Mom," Haley sobbed as she fell into her mother's embrace.

Jimmy looked at Taylor and rolled his eyes. "It can't be that bad, Haley Bob! What? Did you and Nathan have a fight?" he laughed.

"Dad!" Taylor admonished him. It was then that fear swept across Jimmy's face as he realized the severity of the situation as Taylor uncharacteristically jumped to Haley's defense instead of joining in on the teasing like she normally did.

"Uh, yeah. Let's head in the kitchen," Jimmy mumbled.

Minutes later, the four of them were sitting at the table in silence.

"Haley! Will you talk to us?" Jimmy asked impatiently.

"Hush, Jimmy! She will when she's ready," Lydia said as she shot her husband a look of annoyance.

Haley took a deep breath. She still felt sick to her stomach and once the tears started coming, it felt like they never stopped. She dried her face with a tissue and looked up at her expectant parents. "Rachel overdosed. On cocaine. She's alive but they're not sure if, if…" Haley let another sob as she saw her mother's eyes spill over with tears, "she has brain damage."

Lydia audibly gasped as she threw her hands over her mouth. Jimmy sat there stunned.

"Cocaine? Did you know about this, Haley?" Jimmy finally asked.

"I knew she was into bad things. I never thought cocaine."

"Have you ever—"

Haley immediately realized what her father was insinuating. "No, Dad! I'd never! I tried to get a hold of Rachel's purse to see what was in it, but I wasn't fast enough—"

"How long has this been going on?" Lydia asked.

"I'm not sure. I kind of thought she might have had something on her at the banquet—"

"The banquet!" Jimmy exclaimed. "Why didn't you say something?"

Haley looked nervously at Taylor as she sensed her father beginning to grow angry.

"I think you should tell them," Taylor whispered loud enough for her parents to hear.

"Tell us what?" Jimmy asked angrily.

"I spent the night with Nathan," Haley blurted out. "Not Rachel. We lied to you…and to Deb…and Rachel—It's all my fault!" Unable to look at her parents she put her head in her hands.

"Oh, Haley, it's not your fault. Rachel's always had issues, you know that—" Lydia tried to comfort her daughter.

"What do you mean you spent the night with him? Like you did on the couch when Grams was sick? Like that, Haley?" Jimmy interrupted his wife as his mind was traveling on a different wavelength.

Haley picked her head up. She felt anger growing inside her; mostly directed at herself, but also at her father for pressing her like this; for making her admit what horrible person she was. Haley looked at her father in the eye and banged her fist on the table, getting all of their attention. "No, Daddy. We broke your rule," Haley bit out. She then looked down as she banged her fist again. "We had sex! While Rachel was snorting coke in the bathroom—" Haley shouted.

"Enough!" Jimmy shouted back. "I don't want to hear anymore!"

Haley felt Taylor's hand across her back. She glared back at her sister. "Happy now, Taylor?"

"I,..I wasn't talking about that," Taylor said softly. Haley's eyes widen at her sister. "You need to them _everything_, Haley."

"There's more?" Lydia asked with a sob.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Jimmy muttered.

Haley tensed up. Her father never swore like that and her mother was already near hysterics. How could she tell them? And if she did, she knew they'd have questions. Taylor had just listened as Haley had glossed over the details of that night. It wouldn't the same with her parents. She would literally have to relive the whole night.

"Mom, Dad,…Haley really needs you right now," Taylor addressed her parents. "She needs all of us. She's been keeping this in for a long time and what she's going to tell you is going to make you feel horrible; trust me. I just found out on the car ride and I feel sicker by the minute just thinking about it and how we missed this; how we failed Haley. All of us failed her. So, can you just listen to her and be supportive as possible because I don't think Haley can tell you otherwise?"

Lydia grabbed Jimmy's hand and they both nodded solemnly.

"I don't know if I can do this, Tay," Haley cried out as she looked at her.

Taylor continued rubbing her back. "You need to, Haley. Just get it all out."

Haley slowly nodded. She had held this in for so long…sometimes it stabbed at her like a sharp knife inside her heart. Maybe it would feel better to let this secret go once and for all. She looked at her parents and quickly came to the conclusion she didn't really have a choice now anyway; Taylor had sealed her fate.

Haley took a deep breath. "There was one night when Rachel and I were eight and Nathan had just turned ten. You let me sleep over the Scott's house while their nanny was watching them. Her boyfriend had just flown in for a visit…"

* * *

"_I'm sick of this game. Let's play Barbies," Rachel said excitedly._

"_No way. I'm not doing that," Nathan said indignantly.._

"_Fine, then don't. Haley and I will play." Rachel grabbed Haley's hand and began to lead her towards the toy chest she knew was chockfull of Barbies and their accessories. Haley pulled her hand away and looked at Nathan. The truth was she didn't want to play Barbies either. She would rather just continue to play school, where she was acting as the teacher and Nathan and Rachel were her students. She loved that game. When she played, she tried her best to be just like her second grade teacher as she went over the lessons they had just learned the past week. She hadn't been able to get much teaching done though, as Nathan took on the role of a troublesome student that Haley had to keep putting in timeout while Rachel became quickly bored and refused to do her work. Still, Haley liked being in charge and having both of them be her captive audience as she tried to teach them math. _

_Rachel was a demanding playmate however, and now Haley felt like she was in a tough position. She hated playing Barbies but felt like she had no other choice but to join Rachel._

"_Let's play a game," Nathan suggested as he walked over to the shelves that housed all of their board games. Rachel, who was now immersed in taking out all of her Barbie paraphernalia, didn't notice as Haley slowly followed Nathan and began browsing the games. She smiled as Nathan settled on Checkers, one of her favorite games to beat him at._

"_Hey! What are you doing, Haley? Come play with me!" Rachel demanded in her high pitched voice._

"_She's playing with me, Rachel," Nathan proudly announced. _

"_I just want to play one game, then I'll be over," Haley offered in an attempt to appease Rachel._

"_Forget it. I'll go get Carrie to play with me!" Rachel huffed as she left the playroom._

_Nathan just shook his head as he set up the game. Several minutes later, in the midst of their second game, Rachel reentered the room, refusing to make eye contact with either one of them as she resumed her spot on the floor by her pile of Barbies goods._

"_What happened? Where's Carrie?" Haley asked curiously. Carrie was the new live-in nanny the Scotts had hired to watch over Nathan and Rachel. Haley had met her a few times and she seemed really nice. She had completely expected her to come and play with them as she had the last time Haley was over._

"_Joe said she's sleeping. I guess she doesn't feel well," Rachel mumbled._

_Haley looked at Nathan concerned. Did that mean Joe was in charge? She didn't know Joe at all and neither did her parents. The only thing she knew was that he was Carrie's boyfriend who lived in Texas, where Carrie was from, and that he had flown in to visit Carrie and help out while the Scotts had taken a vacation to the Bahamas. Carrie was left in charge for the week, and at Rachel's insistence, she had invited Haley to spend the night. Haley's parents had gladly accepted the invitation as they had their own special plans to celebrate their anniversary that night._

"_Where is Joe?" Nathan asked._

"_He was making a drink. He said he'd play with me if I wanted," Rachel said with satisfaction._

"_He's going to play Barbies?" Nathan asked skeptically. "Why don't you take my spot, Rach? You can play with Haley," Nathan suggested._

"_I don't want to play that stupid game!" Rachel barked._

_Haley felt her body stiffen. She hated it when Rachel got mad. She kind of felt bad because it was Rachel who invited her over, and here she was playing with Nathan, but she just hated playing Barbies. Quinn had tried to get her into it; but it just didn't work. Besides, she couldn't understand why Rachel even wanted her to 'play' with her when all she did was dress the dolls up, undress them, and then dress them back up again. It all just seemed so silly to her. Still, from what she knew of Rachel, she would get over it soon enough._

_Just as she anticipated, a short while later Rachel wandered over and took a seat next to Haley and began watching them play. "Who's winning?" Rachel asked._

"_I've won four times and Nathan won once," Haley couldn't help but gloat._

"_Let me try," Rachel said as she pushed closer to the game._

_Several minutes later, when it was apparent that Nathan was about to beat his sister, Rachel knocked over the gameboard and stormed out the room. _

_Done with the game themselves, Nathan and Haley picked up the pieces to the game and put it away. _

"_Let's go find Rachel," Haley suggested once they were finished. _

_Haley and Nathan quickly headed to the second story of the Scott's beach house. The beach house was where the family typical stayed during the spring and summer months. It was only about twenty minutes from their regular house and a little early for them to be staying there, but Carrie had insisted on moved them over after the Scott's left for their vacation._

_They were about to pass over Nathan's room and head into Rachel's when they heard the tv playing from his room. They walked into Nathan's room, which was connected to Rachel's by a shared bathroom, and found Rachel sitting on the floor playing Super Mario Brothers on their Nintendo._

"_That's mine, Rachel," Nathan said as he approached his sister._

"_It is not. It's for both of us. Dad said I can play it anytime I want, even if it's in your room."_

"_Whatever. You always lose anyway. I get next turn."_

"_Can we do two players?" Haley asked. Her older brothers played that way all the time._

"_Okay," Rachel said happily. She reset the game and handed Haley the second controller._

_Nathan gave her a dirty look, but took a seat anyway. "I mean it, Rachel. I get to play next!"_

_Rachel simply rolled her eyes and continued to play. _

_A few minutes later, Joe appeared in the doorway. He leaned against the frame and watched the kids for a few minutes before speaking. "Heyyyy kiddss, whatcha doing?" _

_Haley looked up and studied him closely. He had shiny black hair that was slicked back and sported a mustache. He looked greasy and slimy to her as he watched them with his hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans that were fastened with a large metal buckle over his long sleeve flannel shirt. She couldn't understand why Rachel would want to play with him. There was something about him that scared her and she didn't like the way he was talking._

"_Haley, you're up," Rachel said elbowing her. _

_Haley turned her attention back to the tv as she took her turn. A minute later, she sensed Joe taking a seat directly behind them. Haley began to feel very uncomfortable and lost focus and ended her turn as she let Mario fall into a hole and died. _

"_Good, it's my turn!" Rachel said as she bobbed up and down on her knees._

_Haley felt a warm breath in her ear and smelled a strong stench of alcohol as Joe leaned in to whispered to her. "Why,…you're a pretty little lady. Why don't you come sit on my lap, Haley?"_

_Lucky for Haley, they were all distracted as the music from the video game indicated that Rachel's game was over, as her last guy had died. _

_Rachel threw down the remote, stood up and looked at Haley and Joe. "Come on. Let's go play in my room," she huffed._

_Haley looked at Nathan, who was taking this all in and gestured for him to come and sit beside her and take Rachel's spot in the game. "I still have two lives left," Haley sheepishly explained. She wasn't sure why, but she knew she didn't want to play with Joe._

"_Yeah, and it's my turn, Rachel," Nathan reminded her._

_Joe stood up and took Rachel's hand and began to lead her towards the bathroom that connected to her room. "I'll play with you, sweet little thing. We'll play whatever you want." _

_Rachel turned back and smiled triumphantly at them before letting Joe lead her away. As soon as they were gone, Haley turned to Nathan. She put down her controller and looked at him seriously. "Na-Nathan, I think I want to go home."_

_Nathan sighed and shook his head. He couldn't blame her. It was a weird night and that Joe guy was creeping him out too. He had arrived yesterday and although Joe hadn't paid any attention to him, he was all over Carrie and when Carrie wasn't around, he was interested in Rachel. Carrie hadn't been around much either, which was part of the problem. Ever since Joe arrived, she had spent a great deal of time in her room, as if hiding from Joe. Nathan knew she'd been drinking as well, something he'd never seen her do before. She had managed to appear fine when the James' had dropped Haley off, but as soon as they left, she had retreated back to her room. "Let's go find Carrie."_

_Nathan and Haley left his room and stopped at a closed door a few doors down. He knocked, but when no one answered, he opened the door and entered the room with Haley trailing behind him. Carrie was lying face down on the bed, her arm hanging over the side, snoring loudly. At her feet, lied an empty liquor bottle. Nathan walked over and began pushing her shoulder trying to wake her. "Carrie! Carrie! Wake up! Carrie, Haley wants to go home. Wake up!"_

_Nathan looked hopeless at Haley was he realized that Carrie was not going to wake up. "We can call them ourselves."_

"_I don't know where they are."_

"_Oh." _

"_Let's go tell Joe," Haley said reluctantly. _

_They walked back towards Rachel's room and were surprised to find the door closed. Nathan opened the door but stopped short at the sight before him. Joe was lying on Rachel's bed on his side, his back towards them. From his viewpoint, Nathan couldn't see Rachel but he could only assume was lying on the other side of him. _

_Joe twisted around and glowered at Nathan. "GET OUT, BOY!"_

"_Ha-Haley, wants to go home," Nathan said timidly. _

"_Oh, she does, does she?" Joe got up from the bed and took a step towards them. His shirt was now untucked and he began fumbling at his belt, taking it fully off. "You jealous, Haley? You want to play with Uncle Joe too? You're turn will be next." Joe held the belt in his hands and looked squarely at Nathan. "Now you, get out of here. Don't make me tell you again, boy!"_

_Nathan took off towards the adjoining bathroom, taking Haley with him. He forcibly pushed her inside. "Lock the doors," he sternly instructed her. Haley locked the door that faced Nathan's room, but when she turned around, she found Nathan about to head back into Rachel's room._

"_Nathan! Don't leave," Haley begged him. "He's going to hurt you."_

"_Just lock the door behind me. I can't leave my sister," Nathan declared before exiting the bathroom._

_Once back inside the room, Nathan heard Haley shut and lock the door. He looked over and found Rachel was cowering on the bed, gripping shirt. "Rachel?"Nathan's voice quivered._

"_Rachel and I were just having some fun, huh?" Joe said as he turned back and glanced at Rachel. He then went over and took a seat on the bed and began patting Rachel's hair. "Tell your brother, how much fun we were having. I was teaching her some new games. You like those games, huh?" When Rachel didn't answer, Joe's slammed his fist against her headboard. "Tell him, Rachel! Tell him you're having fun!" Joe screamed._

"_Y-yes," Rachel squeaked out. _

_Joe turned his attention back to Nathan. "If you don't leave now, boy, I'm going to stop playing nice with your sister. NOW GO!"_

_Frightened and confused, Nathan slowly backed out of the door way and heard Rachel's door slam behind him. He stood there for a minute and tried to calm his racing heart. Stopping and thinking just made it go faster though and for the first time in his life, Nathan began to feel like he couldn't breathe. Needing to move again, not wanting to think about his fear, Nathan sprung back into action. Once again, Nathan headed into Carrie's room and tried waking her. This time he shook her more vigorously. Once again, Carrie didn't respond. _

_Frustrated, Nathan then fled the room and tried to get back into Rachel's, but the door was locked. Nathan then began to kick the door as hard as possible, all the while getting angry that his parents had put on lock on the door to Rachel's room, but not his. It just wasn't fair! Rachel barged into his room all the time, but never got into trouble!_

_Then Nathan heard something smash against the door. "You better run, boy! You fucking, little—"_

_Nathan ran as fast as he could into his bedroom, only stopping to shut his door. He banged on the bathroom door. "Haley!" He shouted and banged on the door. "Let me in. Quick!"_

_The door flew open and Nathan jumped inside just as the door to his bedroom opened. He only saw a glimpse of Joe's wild eyes as he slammed the door shut and locked it._

_As Joe began kicking at the bathroom door and shouting profanities, Nathan pushed Haley, who was paralyzed with fear, away from the door. "Get in the bathtub," he whispered. It was a bathtub/shower and the only place really for her to go. Haley stumbled inside and he closed the curtains around her and looked around for some type of weapon. He settled on taking the metal towel bar off the wall, just as the kicking stopped. _

"_I'll be back once I finish with your sister. Oh, and then the pretty little lady is next!"_

_Nathan heard a whimper from the bathtub and opened the curtain. Haley was sitting down, her knees to her chest as she sobbed violently. Haley looked up just as the curtain opened._

"_I'm sc-scared," she choked out through the sobs._

_Nathan dropped the towel bar and climbed inside. Haley stood up and threw herself at him. "It's okay," Nathan soothed her. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back until she stopped sobbing. When he tried to pull away, Haley just clung even harder to him._

_Nathan was torn. Joe had to be back in Rachel's room by now. He could only imagine what he was doing to her. _

_Then, Rachel's screams pierced the air. On instinct, Nathan jerked away from Haley and picked up the towel bar._

"_No! Don't go!" Haley cried out._

"_Haley, I have to—"_

"_You can't! Please! If you open the door, he's going to come in! You can't leave me!" _

_Now, Nathan was even more torn. He felt like his body was trying to move in opposing directions as he stood midway between the shower and the door. He looked into Haley's pleading eyes, and was unable to look away even as more screams rang out._

"_Don't leave me," Haley whispered so softly, he barely registered it midst the screams._

_Nathan dropped the bar. He hated this. His heart began to beat louder and faster with each scream. His head started spinning and he began to feel dizzy. Somehow, he managed to make it inside the shower and sat down in the bathtub. _

_Even then, he found it hard to breathe; hard to catch his breath. The more he thought about it, the harder it was. He tried to take deep breaths, but that just made it worse and pretty soon he was hyperventilating._

_He watched as Haley closed the shower curtain and climbed in his lap, and put her hands on his shoulders. She looked at him with her big brown eyes and filled with alarm and fear. It wasn't that he didn't want to help her; he just wasn't sure he could. "My heart," Nathan gasped. "I can't breathe—"_

_Haley put her hands to his chest and felt his racing heart. Then, as the screams started back up, Haley thrust her head into his chest and much to her relief, she felt Nathan's hands clasp over them. They stayed that way until the screams stopped. _

_Haley looked up at Nathan and was relieved to find his breathing was normal again, but now it was his facial expression that worried her. He was serious and cold as he stared straight ahead and she had no idea what he was thinking. _

_They both jumped as they heard the rattling of the door handle. "Listen you two," Joe said slurring his words, "I need a break, but don't you go doing something you'll regret. If you, if you, do that…I'm going to kill you." Joe's voice then grew louder as he banged on the door. "You hear me! I'm going to kill both of you and your family! Every last one of them." Joe then paused. "But not you. I'll take you with me." It was clear that he was talking to Rachel as his voice grew quieter. "You understand me?" Joe shouted back at the door. "Tell me you do, before I break down this door!"_

"_Yes!" _

_Haley looked back at Nathan surprised. She was speechless and had no idea how he was able to answer Joe so loudly and clearly._

"_Nathan, what are we doing to do?" Haley asked desperately._

"_We wait, but I think it's over," Nathan said confidently. "For now, anyway."_

* * *

"We never saw him after that night. He was gone by the time we left the bathroom. When Carrie finally got up and found us huddled in Rachel's room, we could tell she was scared. Nathan actually thinks she was scared of him all along and that's why she moved away from Texas. Then, when she heard he was coming to visit, she moved them to the beach house so he wouldn't know where she was really living. So the next morning, after she cleaned up everything, she went back to the house."

Haley was numb by the time she finished telling the horrid story. It had taken everything out of her, as she had felt like she was actually there again. She hadn't shed a tear and had mostly kept her eyes on her hands, which she fiddled with the entire time. She had only been vaguely aware of Taylor rubbing her back as she spoke, her mother throwing her head into her hands and her father getting up from the table to go stand by the kitchen sink.

Haley waited for her parents to have questions, but there were none. Apparently they were both in shock. Unable to take it any longer, Haley looked at her mother, who looked like she was stick to her stomach. "Say something, Mom."

"I don't know what to say. Your sister was right. We failed you, Haley. We were your parents and were supposed to protect you and not only did we leave you in the care of that monster, but we never picked up on any signals that something was wrong."

Jimmy flew around and Haley could see anger in his eyes. "Oh no, don't you start that, Lydia. We knew there was something going on with the Scotts. If you want to blame someone, blame them! They full well what happened and never told us!"

"I'm not sure how much they knew, Dad," Haley quietly pointed out.

"They knew enough not to leave their kids with a nanny anymore! That's when they depended on us! And that animal! Whatever happened to him? They just let him go endangering their own kids and you—"

"I don't think they knew I was there," Haley clarified. "I'm not sure how much they even know at all. They never talked about it with Nathan—"

"Nathan! That bastard! We let him into this home and meanwhile he was manipulating you into protecting his family name, into keeping that secret—"

Haley sprang up, almost knocking Taylor over. "He saved me, Dad! Don't you see? This all happened because he saved me and not Rachel!"

"Oh my God, Rachel," Lydia cried out as she thought about what happened to Rachel that night. Taylor shifted over to comfort her mother as Lydia's shoulders began to shake as she convulsed into a series of sobs.

"You're done, with that family, Haley. You understand? Done. You are not allowed to be near any of them!" Jimmy bellowed out, shocking all of them.

"No, Dad. You can't do that! Nathan! I need him! He needs me!—"

"You're wrong, Haley. You two are so wrapped up in each other, you haven't been able to see things clearly. You need to learn how to be apart and frankly, you don't have a say in the matter right, now." Jimmy then stormed out of the room.

Haley looked desperately at her mother. Lydia pushed her chair back and gestured for Haley to come sit on her lap. Haley slowly got up and within seconds had buried her face on her mother's shoulder as she began to sob uncontrollably. Taylor quietly the left room giving the mother and daughter privacy as Lydia cried tears for the loss of innocence of her child and Haley cried tears of heartache at the thought of losing her childhood best friend and soul mate. Once they couldn't cry anymore, Haley lifted her head up and looked at her mother.

"Tell me, it's going to be okay, Mom," Haley pleaded.

"It will, I promise, Haley Bob," Lydia said as she rubbed her daughter's back.

"So you'll talk to Dad? I've never seen him so angry."

"I will, but Haley, he did have a point."

Haley stood up and looked harshly at her mother. "What do you mean, Mom? What he said about Nathan? You can't think—"

"Hear me out, Haley." Haley slowly sat back down. "No, I know Nathan and that he has always had the best of intentions with you, but I do think you two are far too involved. I think that has clouded your vision at times. It's the only way I can see how you've lied to us all these years and this weekend for that matter. Don't forget about that, Haley. You both let us down with your decisions this weekend. We trusted you and there have to be consequences—"

"You can't forbid me from seeing him, Mom!" Haley shouted, her eyes blazing with anger.

"Calm down," Lydia sighed. "I'm talking about a break. You two need a break from each other. Nathan and his family will be going through a lot and I think the both of you need perspective."

"So I can't see him? Is that what you're saying?" Haley asked dryly.

"For now. Just for now, Haley. Just give it some time."

"Not forever?"

"Not forever. I know that's not possible, Haley. Just let this blow over. Let your father calm down. Let us process this news."

Haley closed her eyes. She had blocked out everything her mother had said except "not forever."

Lydia and Haley both looked up as Taylor entered the kitchen clutching Haley's cell phone.

"Nathan just called. I didn't want to answer, but I think he left a voicemail." Taylor tried to hand the phone to Haley, but she wouldn't take it. She just knew it would be about Rachel and news about whether she suffered brain damage.

"I can't, Taylor. I can't listen to it. You do it."

Taylor nodded and took a deep breath. She pressed a button and put the phone to her ear.

* * *

Preview for next chapter: "She Will be Loved" (Maroon 5)

AN: Another chapter you've probably been waiting for…. It was hard to write and I'm guessing horrible to read. Please forgive me for that and I hope it didn't upset anyone.

As you read the next couple of chapters, one thing I want to point out is that I write characters w/flaws. People make mistakes and I am writing Haley as a 16 year old teenager that does not have a good grip on dealing with her emotions. She is used to keeping secrets, hiding things and like runs away from her problems, as she did in this chapter. Nathan is a little older, but since Haley is his rock, I think you can see how he is going to have trouble dealing as well. Neither one of them have the world figured out, as to be expected. The image of them huddled in that bathtub in those exact positions is a metaphor for their relationship and may not be the healthiest thing for either of them. There is hope for them, but try not to get to upset with me as they go through this long, difficult journey. They both make tons of mistakes but I have the final chapter of this whole saga pretty much written, which is set very far into the future and, in my opinion, everything comes full circle in a beautiful way. If you are that impatient or do not trust my vision, I am willing to share it with you, but not on this website until I decide how much I am going to write and post for here. Just pm me though because the last thing I want is to lose whatever readers I have.

Thanks for reading…thanks to those of you that support…hope you review…sorry again for a tough chapter to read.


	39. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 38: "She Will be Loved" (Maroon 5)

"You didn't have to come, Luke," Nathan said as he opened the door and let Lucas into his hotel room.

"Well, I was anxious to test out my new license anyway." Lucas gave him a weak smile as he dropped a book bag on the desk and took a seat on the chair. "And I brought you the school work you missed from last week."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you could have driven to better places while on school break. Plus, it's not like I'm going to touch that stuff anyway."

Nathan headed over to the window that overlooked the parking lot. It wasn't much of a view, but for some reason it had given him comfort over the past week and a half. He liked watching people coming and going and guessing what was going on their lives. He watched families, couples, business men and women, and-his personal favorite-people who he was sure were having an affair. He had become quite skilled at telling the differences between all these people, even just from the type of cars they drove.

Last weekend there had been two weddings at the hotel which had served as a major distraction. He had watched the guests arrive and then walked around the hotel scouting out their rooms. He tried to figure out who was staying with who and which wedding they were attending. He had visited the hotel bar and listened to their conversations and he even peaked around the receptions, but no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find what he was looking for. He hadn't been able to find any couple that reminded him of him and Haley. There was just no comparison. From what he could tell, _no one_, not even the brides and grooms, shared that special connection he and Haley had. No girls looked at their guys the way Haley looked at him. No couple shared a dance like he and Haley had causing everyone around them just to stop and watch in awe.

For some reason, all of this was just so fascinating to him. He just couldn't get over how life just seemed to go on; how just a week and half ago, he had been one of those people. He had been happy and in love; heck, he was almost even engaged…Now, well now, he couldn't imagine being in a more different place. He was stuck in this damn hotel room, practically forbidden by his parents to go anywhere except the hospital and then the mental facility that Rachel had been admitted into. It was a program that was designed for teens, and focused not only on substance abuse, but also psychological disorders. She had only been there for a couple of days after spending a full week in the hospital, but it didn't take Nathan long to hate that place more than he did that depressing hospital. It was at the mental facility, he was drawn right into dealing with things that he didn't want to.

At the mental facility, Nathan had been forced to attend 'family counseling sessions.' In those sessions, the doctors had shocked him by pressing him to talk about what happened to Rachel as a child. It seemed like his parents, both of them, had finally been scared enough to get to the root of all of their daughter's psychological problems. That was great for them, but Nathan wasn't used to talking about that night with anyone other than Haley, which just made him miss her even more.

That had been most difficult adjustment for him to make. _Not having Haley. Barely even talking to Haley._ He felt like he was losing her and in turn was losing everything that was important to him.

"So how's Rachel?" Lucas asked cautiously.

"Alright, I guess," Nathan sighed. "We were lucky that there was a program right here in Charlotte for her to be admitted into."

"How long will she be there?"

"At least a month. I guess then they'll start, like, sending her home for a day or weekend visit, depending on how she's doing."

"How is she doing?"

Nathan turned from the window and took a seat on the bed facing Lucas. "It's funny. They said there was no brain damage but it's like she has a completely different personality. I don't get it."

"What do you mean?"

"She's….calm and relaxed. Nice, even. I don't get it," Nathan repeated shaking his head.

"Maybe it scared her, Nate. Maybe this is what she really wanted all along; real help…for what happened."

Nathan's head shot up as he examined Lucas' face. "You mean the overdose? Doing drugs?"

"No," Lucas said slowly. "I mean for what happened to her when you were kids."

Nathan looked at him dumbfounded. "Haley told you."

"Yeah, she did," Lucas said as he looked away.

Nathan could tell that Lucas was holding something back. "What? Just spit it out, Luke. I mean you came all this way, right?" Nathan asked irritated.

"That's not why I came, Nate. I came to see you. I came to be here for you," Lucas said earnestly.

"But you also have something to say, Luke, so just say it."

"I'm not the only one Haley told about what happened." Lucas paused as he saw Nathan's eyes close as he took in this news. "She told her parents."

Nathan shot up and began pacing the room. "What the fuck!" He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Why the hell would she do that?" Nathan then began to take deep breaths as he let the news sink in.

It was all out. Everyone must know now. They didn't have to hide it anymore…Maybe this wasn't a bad thing…Maybe this mean they could all really move on from this. Still, there was something wrong about this…There was something wrong about the way it went down.

Nathan stood still and looked back at Lucas, who had been watching him pace. "Okay, I guess. I just still don't get one thing. Why didn't Haley tell me herself? I mean, she's had the chance, right? I know her parents took her cell, but she used yours when she worked at the café. Did it just happen? When did she tell them?" Nathan asked searching for answers.

Lucas shifted uncomfortably. "Look, I don't want to get in the middle of this, Nate. She asked me to tell you, and I did—"

"She asked you!" Nathan interrupted him. "She wasn't planning on tell me herself? What the fuck? Was she scared to? Did she not have a chance? No, because she worked yesterday, right? I expected her to call and she didn't." Nathan looked at him, expecting answers. "Luke?"

"I don't know what to tell you. She's hurting right now. You both are. Not just about Rachel, either. It doesn't help that her parents are shaken up and I know your mom kind of lashed out at her—"

"Stop, Luke. Stop defending her. There's no reason why she couldn't have told me herself. We had a deal, you know. We promised, after dealing with my sister and father's manipulations, always to talk directly to each other. We promised never to send messages through anyone."

"I didn't know that," Luke said guiltily. "Look, I'm sorry, Nate. You're right. You two need to talk and in the future, I'm going to stay out of this."

"Good," Nathan said shoving his hands in his pockets. Still, now that the floodgates had been opened, Nathan couldn't stop his racing thoughts. He couldn't put this to bed just yet. "I just need to finish this, Luke, and then we'll drop it. How bad was it? What happened with her parents?"

"Well, Mrs. James was devastated, but Mr. James….I guess he got angry…"

Nathan closed his eyes, already dreading coming face to face with Haley's parents. He could only imagine what Jimmy thought of him now.

* * *

Haley peered outside to get a glimpse of the weather as switched the door sign from "open" to "closed" on the café door. Perfect. It was pouring outside and it would give her the opportunity to finally have some one-on-one time with Lucas. He had arrived home from Charlotte on Wednesday, but they hadn't had a chance to really talk. He had called her on his way home and the only thing he told her was about Rachel and then, when she asked about Nathan, the call had mysteriously dropped. That had been understandable, but then he had avoided her ever since. It was now Saturday, and she was going crazy trying to figure out what happened during his visit with Nathan.

Haley picked up the phone and called Luke and asked him to give her a ride home. At first, he had resisted, but then, when she pointed out if he didn't, she would have to walk home in the rain since her parents weren't home, he'd relented. Minutes later, Haley locked the café doors and hopped into Lucas' car.

"Thanks, Luke. I really appreciate this," Haley said as she buckled her seatbelt. "How does it feel to be driving around?"

"Fine."

"So how was the drive to Charlotte? We lost our connection before we could finish our conversation."

"I was finished," Lucas said flatly.

Haley looked closely at him and realized her instincts were right. He was definitely pissed at her about something. "Okay, are you going to tell me what you're upset with me or am I going to have to play twenty questions with you?"

Lucas sighed heavily. "You set me up, Haley."

"What are talking about?" Haley asked confused.

"You asked me to tell Nathan that you told your parents about everything, knowing full well that you two had some type of agreement not to send messages through other people."

Haley's hand flew to her forehead. "Shit! Oh, God, Luke. He must be so mad at me," Haley said miserably.

"He's hurt, Haley, but that's all I'm going to tell you. I refuse to be your go-between anymore." Lucas paused and then pressed Haley. "Why, Haley? Why would you do that to him? Why would you do that to me?"

"I-I honestly wasn't thinking, Luke. I'm not in the best frame of mind these days. I know I should have told him myself, but I didn't want to do it over the phone. I tried, but I chickened out and then…I just took the easy way out. I forgot that we promised not to do that though. We were wrapped up in Rachel when we made that promise."

"Yeah, well, you made me look like a jackass. It took me a while to convince him that I was really there to see him and not just a message carrier for you."

"I'm really sorry, Luke," Haley said apologetically. "I won't do that again. I'll just talk to him myself from now on."

"I hope you mean it, Hales, because it looks like you have your chance." Lucas stopped the car in her driveway and Haley followed his gaze. The pouring rain was making it hard to see, but there was no doubt that it was Nathan who was sitting on her front steps.

As soon as she got out Lucas' car, Nathan got up and met her in the midst of the driveway.

"Nathan, you're soaked! What are you doing?" Haley shouted over the rain.

"I got home today. I just went for a run to clear my head. I guess this is where I ended up," Nathan explained. "Can we go inside?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. My parents are going to be home soon and they don't want me seeing you right now."

"Then I'll just stand out here in the pouring rain. I'll stand here as long as it takes to convince you to talk to me, Haley."

"I don't know what to say."

"Say, this feeling that I have, that I'm losing you, is not right. Say, that you love me; that you still want all the things we talked about—"

"I do, Nathan," Haley said quickly. "It's just…so complicated right now. I mean your sister almost died because of us!"

"No, Haley, not because of us—"

"Yes, Nathan! Maybe she was the one who took the drugs, but we stopped looking out for her a long time ago! I even asked you to not listen to her! Then, I stopped being friends with her and _I knew_. I did, Nathan. You know that. Deep down, I knew she was into drugs. She came to me for help the night of the banquet, but I didn't want to see it. All I wanted was to be with you and, well…that's not right, Nathan. The world does not revolve around you and me."

"I know that, but things are going to get better, Haley, I promise. You should talk to Rachel. She's doing so well and she's talking in therapy. We're all going to therapy, Hales, and we're finally talking about what happened. The doctors say she's having breakthroughs and…she's asking for you, Hales. She wants to talk to you. She wants to see you."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"You can," Nathan said unflinchingly. "I'll take you. She can have visitors next weekend."

"I don't know if my parents will let me."

"Ask them. This is for Rachel, Hales. And for you. Not for us."

"Okay. I'll ask them. Is that it?"

"No. There's just one more thing." Nathan licked his lips and looked intently at Haley. "You're looking really sexy standing there in the rain like that, Hales, and I think I'm going to have to kiss you," he said with a slight smirk.

Haley ran her fingers through her wet hair as she rolled her eyes at him and blushed. With everything that was going on, he still had that effect on her. "If you have to," she smiled back.

Nathan pulled Haley close to him. They both were able to let all their problems wash away for a quick moment, as their lips met in a series of deep, fierce kisses. Haley was tugging at his grey hooded sweatshirt, just as Nathan was running his fingers though her hair, when Jimmy's car pulled in behind them, frantically beeping the horning.

Nathan and Haley quickly broke apart and moved out of the driveway. Nathan cautiously took Haley's hand as they turned to face her parents who were getting out the car.

"What do you two think you're doing?" Jimmy fumed.

"I was hoping I could talk to you," Nathan said uneasily.

Ignoring Nathan's response, Jimmy continued on his rant. "You're still sneaking around. I can't believe it!—"

"They're not sneaking around, Jimmy. They were out in the driveway for Christ's sake!" Lydia interjected.

"Can we go inside?" Nathan asked calmly.

"Absolutely not!" Jimmy yelled. "You are not welcome in this home!" With that, Jimmy stormed into the house.

"Don't listen to him, Nathan. Yes, you are. Come in before you two catch pneumonia," Lydia said holding the door open for them.

"I think I should go, Mrs. James," Nathan said reluctantly. He squeezed Haley's hand then let it go and headed off to his house.

Haley stood there watching him leave, feeling even worse than before. In some ways it was easier just not to see him, because now she found herself missing him even more. Anger began to set in, as Haley finally entered the house. First she looked around the living room, then the kitchen, and then she stormed into the den. There she found her parents in the midst of a heated argument.

"This is my house too and I won't stand for this, Jimmy!"

"We're her parents, Lydia. I'm her father and it's my job to protect her—"

"She doesn't need protecting from him! They're in love, Jimmy. There's nothing we can do about that—"

"He lied to us! He took her to a hotel, against our wishes—"

Her parents looked up and stopped talking as she flew into the room. Haley glared at her father, disgusted. After all these years, how could he doubt Nathan's character? How could he not know him as well her mother and she did? How could he not see that Nathan saved her, not Rachel? Shouldn't he be grateful for that? But most of all, how could he question Nathan's intentions?

"It was all _my idea_, Daddy!" Haley spewed out venomously. "I'm the one who lied to you and mom! Nathan wanted nothing to do with it. He hates lying. _I'm the liar_! _I'm the one who keeps secrets_, not Nathan! He's the good one, Dad and I'm the bad one! And now you've chased him away! Well, I hate you for that and I'll never forgive you if I lose him because of you!" Haley burst into tears and unable to face the look of shock on her parents face any longer, ran straight up to her bedroom and slammed the door shut. She threw herself on her bed and began to cry her heart out.

* * *

What seemed like was hours later, Haley heard a knock on the door. Her lights were off and it was dark outside and at some point she had cried herself to sleep. Still not wanting to see anyone, she ignored the knock and rolled over.

Haley heard the door slowly open and then shut and felt a soft movement on her bed. She slowly turned over and saw her father sitting there solemnly.

"We need to talk, Haley," Jimmy said softly. Haley just looked at her father but remained silent. The last thing she wanted was to do was to listen to a lecture about how disrespectful she had been or how distrustful Nathan was. "I'm sorry for how I've been acting the past few weeks. I think I've needed someone to blame for all this and it was easy to pick Nathan and that was unfair." Haley sat up and looked at her father and began to cry. "Hey, give me a hug, will you?" Haley fell into her father's arms as he hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all alone, Haley. I'm so sorry."

Haley pulled back and wiped some of the tears from her eyes. "But I wasn't alone, Daddy. I had Nathan."

"And now you think I've taken him away from you. I get that. Just try and see it from my point of view. I'm your father and I was supposed to watch over you and I didn't. I let that happen to you and then I didn't even see it. Then, I find out that you lied to us, that you've been lying to us, and…I just needed some time to process all that."

"I'm sorry for lying to you, Daddy. For a while, we were scared Joe was going to come back and then when we finally realized he wasn't, that we were really safe, I didn't want to tell you because I knew you wouldn't let me go over there and Rachel needed us, Dad. Back then, she really did and I guess she never stopped needing us…"

"What about the wedding, Haley? Was that really all your idea?"

"Yes, it was! Nathan never pressured me, Dad. He's not like that. I don't understand how you can't see that!"

"Well, there's a lot I didn't see, Haley, so I'm questioning everything these days, including my parental instincts. Look, your mother and I talked for a long time and this is what we came up with. We are not going to stop you from seeing Nathan—" Haley threw her arms excitedly back around her father's neck. "I'm not done, Haley."

"Right," Haley said as she pulled back and looked up back seriously at her father.

"Your mother and I hope that you don't just pick up where you left off with him. You two were far too serious for someone your age and although we now understand why, we really don't think that was healthy. Nathan can't be your sole reason for living, Haley. You need to do things without him and he needs to do things without you. He's going to be going off to college soon anyway, so maybe you should start to make that break now."

"But I can see him? When I want to?"

"You mother and I are trusting you, Haley. Understand that is a hard thing for us to do right now. We suggest you highly limit your time with him, at least for now." Haley nodded in understanding. "Okay, there's one more thing. Your mother and I want you to see a counselor. We think you need to talk through what happened to you. We set up two appointments for this week. One is just for paperwork and a screening and then the other will set you up with someone that you feel comfortable talking to you. Does that sound okay?"

"I don't need that, Dad," Haley said convincingly.

"Well, that is not up for discussion. If we're going to trust you, Haley, you have to trust us back and we're just doing what we think is best."

"Okay, then. When do I go?"

* * *

"So your parents are okay with this, right?" Nathan asked as Haley got into his car. Normally he would have gone into the James house to pick up Haley instead of just waiting in the driveway, but things were not exactly normal. At this point, he wasn't sure if they would ever return to normal.

"Yes, Nathan," Haley said testily. "What? You think I would lie to them again? Or go without their permission?"

"No, it's just your Dad said—"

"He was angry, Nathan, but he's calmed down now. Besides, he knows that today is about visiting Rachel, not spending time with you."

Wow! Nathan did not like the sound of that. Sure, he knew that the only reason they were together was so that he could drive her to Charlotte to visit his sister, but he had still expected to be able to enjoy the nearly four hour drive with Haley. That did not seem plausible though as Haley seemed to have a major attitude going. Nathan looked over and her and saw her focused on looking out the passenger side window. Yup, this was going to be a long ride. He flipped on his radio and tried to focus on the road.

* * *

"Haley, are you going to talk to me at all?" Nathan finally asked almost an hour into their ride, as the silence had become unbearable.

"What do you want to talk about?" Haley asked indifferently.

"About us. How about that? What is going on with us?"

Haley sighed. "I don't know."

"What does that mean, Haley? I need you to talk to me. You avoid me at school, the only time we can freely talk to each other, and then you're busy when I stop by the café. Is this all because of your parents or am I sensing something else?"

"I think we should spend some time apart."

"_You_ think?" Nathan asked skeptically. "Not your parents or your Dad?" Haley started looking back out the window, which just drove Nathan even crazier. "Haley!"

"Yes, me, okay? Is that what you want to hear, Nathan? _I think_ we should spend some time apart," Haley nearly shouted at him.

"Where is this coming from?" Nathan asked angrily. "A week ago, you were kissing me in your driveway, telling me you still felt the same way—"

"Well, things change."

"How do things change, Haley? How do they change that fast?"

"I started seeing a counselor and she's made me see that maybe I was too dependent on you and you were too dependent on me. Plus, you're going to be leaving soon—"

"Oh, no, Haley. Don't start that! You promised me you wouldn't break up with me when I went to college, you remember that?"

"I'm not breaking up with you, Nathan! I just need a break, okay? Just give me a break!"

A few minutes of silence passed before Nathan was jolted back to words. "So what you're telling me is that after a week of seeing a counselor, she was able to override everything we've been through, everything we talked about, that night we spent together! Do you remember that night, Haley? Do remember how close we were? Do you remember what we talked about? How I asked you to marry me?"

"That night was a mistake, Nathan."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Nathan said as he banged his fist on the steering wheel causing them to swerve a bit.

"I don't want to talk about this; not with you driving."

"Then when, Haley? When were you planning on telling me that you think the most amazing night of my life, the most intimate experience I've ever had, the most vulnerable I've ever been, that the closest I've ever felt to a person,- _TO YOU, HALEY,_- WAS A MISTAKE?" Nathan screamed.

Now he couldn't help himself. The words were just coming right from his mind and out of his mouth. "Haley, do you have any idea why I waited so long? Why I was a virgin? It's because I have trouble trusting people that way! After what happened to my sister I was scared about being with a girl like that and I just couldn't go around and have sex and not have it mean anything! God damnit, I trusted you, Haley! I waited…I waited…until I just knew…" Nathan's trailed off as he realized whatever it was that he thought he knew about him and Haley was clearly wrong.

Nathan started straight ahead, trying his best to focus on the road. He felt anger fill his body, which was better than the alternative because Haley had just put a knife through his heart.

After a while, he finally looked over at Haley, whose face was just about plastered to the passenger's side window. Even then, he could tell she was crying. God, he hated when she cried. If it had been any other circumstance, he would have pulled over the car, and taken her in his arms, not only to make her feel better, but to make himself feel better. Now, however, it was clear that would be the last thing she wanted. He felt like she was not only trying to push him away, but like she was also trying to let him go. Or perhaps she was trying to get him to break up with her so she didn't have to do it herself.

Fine. He would give her space. Give her "the break" she asked for. But he was not going to let her go and he would not let her push him away. If she wanted out of this relationship, she was going to have to make that clear. She would have to break up with him. Otherwise, he would just wait for her.

* * *

Haley felt like she couldn't be in a worse frame of mind heading in to see Rachel. Nathan hadn't said a word to her since his outburst in the car, which was probably for the best. She knew that beyond the anger, there was hurt and that was something she never intended. She figured if they just kept talking it would probably just lead to more anger and hurt so she just kept her mouth shut. It was just easier that way. The counseling sessions were beginning to mess with her mind and everything was flipped upside down. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to switch them back and was left more confused than ever. So to say she was emotionally drained, was an understatement as she was about to face both Deb, who she was convinced hated her, and Rachel, who apparently was having all these "breakthroughs," whatever that meant.

Nathan wordlessly led her to the waiting room area, where Deb was waiting for her. Nathan kissed his mother and then made some lame excuse to go to the cafeteria. As soon as he was gone, the awkwardness set in as Deb turned to face Haley.

"Thank you for coming, Haley. Rachel is really looking forward to seeing you. I guess it's all part of the 'healing process."

"Well, that's why I'm here," Haley said softly.

"Look, Haley, I owe you an apology. I don't know if Nathan told you, but the whole family has been doing a lot of therapy sessions these days." Haley cringed as the idea of that. She knew Nathan must have hated that. Now, she began to feel incredibility guilty about not talking to him, not only in the car, but over the past few weeks. She had been so wrapped up in her concern over Rachel, own guilt and issues, that she honestly hadn't really thought about what he was going through. "In these sessions, I've come to realize, mostly from what Rachel's said, that you and Nathan were really there for her and if anyone's to blame for what happened, it's Dan and me. So,… I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I hope you understand I didn't mean them and I was just lashing out. We didn't know then if Rachel had brain damage and—"

"You don't have to explain, Mrs. Scott. We've all said things recently we didn't mean," Haley said as she thought about what she had just said to Nathan in the car. That was starting to weigh heavily on her and she could already see how stupid it was. Here regret was definitely setting in.

"Okay, then. The most important thing now is Rachel and getting you in to see her. She's in with one of her psychiatrists and wanted you to join her. I guess she has some things to tell you that's part of her therapy. Then I think the idea is for you to spend some alone time together. There's a terrific visiting room that's very cozy and private. What do you think?" Deb asked hopefully.

Haley stood up. "Let's do this."

* * *

As soon as the two girls saw each other, they embraced in an emotional hug. Haley immediately felt gratitude that not only was Rachel alive, but that she hadn't suffered any permanent damage. She had known that, but to _see it_, was to _believe it_, and Haley was overcome by emotions as she took a seat next to Rachel on the couch.

Now past the fact that Rachel was okay, Haley took a long look at her and tried to really see how she was doing. Her hair was brushed back in a sleek ponytail and she was wearing a pair of sweatpants, a cotton short sleeve shirt and sneakers. She looked….comfortable….and…relaxed. This was something she had never seen before and it was definitely encouraging.

Haley then looked up to the doctor, who was sitting in a chair off to the side. The doctor walked over and extended her hand to Haley. "Hi, Haley. It's nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Stone, one of Rachel's psychiatrists."

"Nice to meet you," Haley politely replied as they shook hands.

Dr. Stone then returned to her seat. "So, Haley, let me explain to you why I'm here. As I said, I'm Rachel's doctor which is important for you to know because this is not a therapy session. I am just here because Rachel has asked me to explain some things to you about her condition. Then, I'm going to leave the two of you alone so you can talk. Is that okay?" Haley nodded in response. "Have you ever heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD?"

"That's people who go to war suffer from?" Haley asked.

"Or people who have suffered from some type of abuse or trauma." Haley nodded at the doctor understanding this was the case with Rachel. "We've recently diagnosed Rachel with PTSD. Frankly, it's amazing that it went this long undiagnosed. From what Rachel's told us, you helped her deal with this over the years even though you didn't realize it. So now, I'd like to explain to you what Rachel was going through form a medical standpoint and, Rachel, you can jump in anytime and tell Haley was it was like for you."

"Okay," Haley said as she met Rachel's eyes and took her hand.

"Rachel's PTSD stemmed from when she was raped as a child. It doesn't always appear right away and each case is different, but there are triggers that can cause people to have 'episodes.' For some people, these episodes are nightmares, sleeping difficulties, flashbacks, anxiety or panic attacks, anger outbursts or numbness and detachment. In Rachel's case, it sounds like when triggered, she went into a catatonic state and experienced what we call 'cataplexy.' That is rare in PTSD patients, but not unheard of. With cataplexy, the person's body is in a paralyzed state even though their mind is conscious of their surroundings. I would guess this was defense mechanism that Rachel used back when she was being attacked. Her body and her mind went on two different wavelengths, so to speak, so that Rachel became detached from the trauma that was happening to her body. Then, after the attack, when her mind sensed stress or anxiety, it trigged the same type of response."

"So were you aware of what was going on when you would have an episode?" Haley asked Rachel. It was something she had always wondered about as she tried to guess what was going on inside Rachel's mind when she got that glazed over look.

Rachel nodded. "Yes, especially at first when the episode starts up, but then I end up blocking everything out and honestly, I don't remember much of it later. It's like I'm screaming inside, trying to move, trying to talk. It's absolutely terrifying and in the end, I can only hear the sound of the voice in my head, screaming. Then, I try and go to some place far away. Then at some point, I calm down and come out of it…That's when I blackout."

Dr. Stone then jumped in. "What we think happens then, when Rachel starts to come out of the episode, is that all her pent up anger and frustration from the cataplexy comes out; yelling, screaming, hitting people, smashing things. These are all common symptoms of PTSD. Do all of these things sound familiar, Haley?"

"Yes…I never knew that other people went through that too."

"Me neither," Rachel spoke up. "That's what I realized being here. There are people here just like me, Haley. Some, who have experienced horrible things like me, and others that have different issues. I can't explain it, but that helps. I go to group therapy everyday and sometimes I think it's the only thing keeping me sane."

"How should we have handled these episodes?" Haley asked feeling slightly guilty. She had no idea that this was a diagnosable thing with actual textbook symptoms and wished she had tried to find out more about it so they could have helped Rachel better.

"By 'we' you mean you and Nathan, I assume?" Haley nodded feeling relieved that this probably meant Nathan must have had a similar conversation with Dr. Stone. "There really is no set way to deal with this. Like I said earlier, each case is different. I think the goal now will be to prevent these attacks from occurring in the first place; to help Rachel identify her triggers and determine what medications can help Rachel. It sounds though, Haley, like you and Nathan did an amazing job in handling Rachel's episodes. You helped her feel safe and calmed her down. I think that at first, when patients come out of their catatonic states, they don't realize it and that is why they are acting out aggressively, but then, the best thing is for their body and mind to truly rest and sync back up. I think that you and Nathan helped Rachel do that. Is that right, Rachel?"

"Yes," Rachel said she squeezed Haley's hand. "You were always there for me,…until you weren't. Then I turned to drugs to help numb everything. I don't say that to blame you, Haley, I really don't. It's just…that's what happened."

Dr. Stone stood up. "I think this may be a good time for me to leave. Unless you have any questions, Haley?"

"Does Nathan know about all of this?"

"Yes. We've had many sessions with Rachel's parents and Nathan. I think the most important thing for you to know, Haley, is that you didn't do anything wrong. There's a lot blame to go around here, but the truth is-a horrible thing happened to Rachel… and Nathan, and you too, apparently. Now, we just need to focus on dealing with it so all of you can move forward. No more secrets, huh? That should be a relief to all of you." Dr. Stone offered a warm smile to the girls and then left them alone.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" Rachel asked nervously.

"It's up to you, Rach. My mind is just kind of spinning right now to be honest."

"I know, right? We can just stay here then."

Haley nodded and the watched as Rachel readjusted her ponytail and then took a deep breath. She looked anxious, but also ready to talk. It was almost as if she had prepared what she was going to say and was getting herself psyched up to do it. A minute later, Rachel confirmed this as she began to speak.

"I know you probably have lots of questions, Haley, but first I have some things I want to say and I think some of them may be hurtful, but they're honest and that's one of the things I'm working on these days."

Haley nodded as she mentally prepared herself for what was to come.

"For a long time, I blamed and you and Nathan for what happened to me; first on a subconscious level and then consciously. You see, I don't remember everything that happened that night…" Rachel paused as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "The night I was raped," Rachel clarified, as her eyes remained closed. It was clear how hard it was for Rachel to talk about this; to say those specific words. Haley could only guess this was another thing she had been working on in her program. Rachel then opened her eyes and looked over at Haley indicating she was ready to continue. "There are gaps from that night and I think over the years, I just filled in those gaps. At least that's what I got from talking to Nathan. I now know that you both tried to help me and you only hid to protect yourselves and there was really nothing else you could do. The truth is though, that I do remember going _with him_. I remember going _to him_; _asking him_ to play with me. I remember _ignoring_ that small voice in my head that told me he was a scary guy. I mean, I knew Carrie was scared of him." Tears started streaming down Rachel's face as she made this admission which caused Haley to start crying as well. "So deep down, I've always blamed myself for what happened, but it was just always easier to blame you two."

"It wasn't your fault, Rachel," Haley said through a quiet sob.

Rachel wiped a few tears from her face. "I'm working on that, Hales, but to be honest, I'm not there yet. But I don't blame you and Nathan anymore." Rachel took another deep breath. "There is something else though and this may hurt you and I'm sorry for that."

"I can take it, Rachel," Haley said sternly.

"I feel betrayed by you and Nathan. I mean, you were supposed to be _my friend_, Haley. Even before…everything…it was like he took you from me and you took him from me…and I was left all alone. I know you tried to include me, but you two always were so damn close. Then, after that night, you were even closer, and I wanted to push you both away then, but…I couldn't. I needed you. Then it got better when Nathan went to high school and I was back to having you both to myself and not all three of us together. That didn't last long though and then things just got so bad for me. I actually liked it when you two got in that big fight about prom. I liked how you needed me and how Nathan was the bad guy and we started hanging out with Peyton and Brooke…and then I felt like the rug was pulled out underneath me when I saw you kissing Nathan in school one day. I know you didn't see me, but I was in the classroom across the hall, and I was shocked. I tried to pretend I didn't see it, but there was no denying it when you came to stay at the beach house. I felt like you were using me. I mean, why else wouldn't you tell me?" Not wanting to offer any excuses, Haley simply apologized and allowed Rachel to continue. "Anyway, if I'm still being honest, I don't like the idea of you and Nathan together, but I'm working on accepting it. I'm coming home on a visit next weekend and Dr. Stone thinks it would be a good idea if the three of us hung out for a little while. Baby steps, I guess."

Haley nodded. "I'd like that."

"So would I," Rachel agreed. "I really want to try to be friends again, Haley. I'm not sure that's possible, but that's what I want. Either way, I also want to thank you for being there for me all those years and to apologize for being so mean and pushing you away. I'm hoping that what Dr. Stone told you can help you understand where I was coming from."

"It does. Rachel, I know we can make this work. I want to make it work. I want you in my life. You have no idea how scared I was that I lost you. I don't want that to happen again."

* * *

Haley felt much better leaving from her visit with Rachel than she did when she arrived. She was even more emotionally drained, but her spirits were high. She was, however, still conflicted about her feelings about Nathan. She now had a small taste of what he had been going through when he was staying in Charlotte being forced to go to therapy sessions. She could only imagine the emotional toll it had taken on him. Yet, part of her was upset that he hadn't shared any of this with her. Surely, he could have found a way. It was already like their relationship had changed so much over the past three weeks and felt like they were slipping away from each other.

Haley's energy faded as she headed out to the parking lot and spotted Nathan sulking over by his car. There was no way she could deal with another car ride like the one they had getting there. As soon as Nathan saw her, he walked over to the passenger side door to open it for her. She assumed this was purely out of habit, since she knew just from the expression on his face that he was still extremely pissed with her. Haley then made an impetuous decision that she hoped would ease the tension on the long car ride back. She headed over to the driver's side door instead. When Nathan looked at her confused, she held out her hands.

"Toss me your keys. I'm going to drive back."

"You're kidding? If we take the back roads it'll add an least an hour—"

"I'll take the highway. I won't speed like you do, but I'll do it."

Nathan looked at her skeptically and she once again held out her hands. "You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure! I set up my appointment and it's in a month so I need to get going!" For a brief second, she saw a slight smile cross Nathan's lips, which sent off a wave of butterflies in her stomach. She loved that smile and really did missing seeing it. Knowing the effect it would have on him, she added, "Besides, I'm going to have to learn how to drive on the highway if I'm going to visit you at Duke, right?"

A huge grin splashed across Nathan's face as he tossed the keys in her direction.

The ride home ended up going unexpectedly good as both of them focused on Haley's driving. Nathan had continued to be patient with her as always, and eventually that lapsed into their normal banter as they teased each other and laughed. Then once Haley pulled off the highway, and began to drive through the familiar streets of Tree Hill, Nathan turned serious.

"Haley, I just want to let you know that I'm here. I'm going to give you your space, but my door's always open."

"Thank you…I'm not saying goodbye, you know. This isn't it for us, I promise."

"That's all I needed to hear," Nathan said sincerely.

Once they pulled into her driveway, Nathan got out of the car, and was relieved to find that instead of rushing into the house, Haley was leaning against the driver's side door of his car. He walked over and gently took her hands in his and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Hales. Nothing is going to change that. Not ever."

Haley smiled and looked up at him. "I love you, too, Nathan. Always and forever, right?"

"Right." Nathan dropped her hands and watched as she walked into her house. Just before she closed the door, she looked at him and smiled and wave, sending off a flurry of emotions inside him.

As he got back into the car, Nathan felt like they had reached a new understanding. Like in some ways they were starting over. He began to head home and then realized that he really didn't want to go home to an empty house. What he really wanted to do was be with Haley, but that was something he didn't want to push. She told him she needed space, plus her parents still didn't want him around. Instead, he picked up his phone and put in a call to Lucas.

"Hey, Nate! You and Haley almost here?" Lucas asked him right away.

"Uh, no," Nathan said confused. "I just dropped her off."

"At home?"

"Yeah. Where are you?"

"At the café. We're all waiting on you. When are you guys coming by?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Luke."

"I told Haley you two could come by when you got back. The café is closed but we're just hanging out here as usual."

Confused at first, now Nathan was beginning to understand. "Look, Luke, maybe Haley's coming by, but that means I really shouldn't. Her parents agreed to let me drive her to Charlotte, but they still don't want us spending time together."

"Haley told me they let that one go. She said it was okay if you both came."

Nathan was stunned. Haley had definitely not told him that. Sure, she needed space, but it was another thing not to invite him out with a group of _their friends_, especially knowing her parents were okay with it. She must really not want to be around him, which confused the hell out of him considering how they had just ended things. Was it all an act? Was Haley just feeling bad for him? Was he her latest pity case? And what about Lucas? Why the hell hadn't he picked up the phone? Resentment began filling up in Nathan he came to these surprising revelations about Haley and _their friends_. "What did I tell you about sending messages through people, Luke? If _you_ wanted me to come, _you_ should have invited me yourself. But I guess you always were into being Haley's friend over being my cousin."

Nathan didn't wait for a response, but instead hung up the phone. Feeling even angrier, still not wanting to go home, Nathan scrolled through his contacts list, get angrier by the second. Fuck! What other friends did he have? He slowly hovered over one number and before he could think about it anymore, he hit the number.

"Hey, Nate! It's been a long time!"

"What are you up to, Tim?"

"Damien and I were just heading out for some nighttime fishing. Want to join us? Just like old times?"

"Same place?"

"Yup. We're just heading to the liquor store now. Vodka still you're drink?"

"I could go for some Jack's."

"A bottle of J.D.'s it is. See you in twenty."

* * *

Haley walked into the café to find four faces glaring up at her. Lucas and Jake were shaking their heads at her, just as Peyton and Brooke stood up.

"We'll take care of this, boys. Haley! In the kitchen, now!" Brooke ordered her she turned on her heels and headed off. Not wasting any time, Peyton took Haley's hand and led her towards the kitchen.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "One Of These Days" (Michelle Branch)

AN: Thank you for all the support after the last chapter, which I know was horrific. Writing and posting was a huge risk for me….I know this wasn't a fun one as well. Keep the faith! This was always the way the story was supposed to go. Like I said before, feel free to go back and read the happy Naley times! That's was I did when I writing this arc! You should now see the events surrounding the prologue coming together… I will try and get the next chapter up quickly.


	40. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 39: "One Of These Days" (Michelle Branch)

Brooke and Peyton stood with their arms across their chests glaring at Haley.

"Why do I feel like I'm in trouble?" Haley asked nervously.

"Because you are!" Brooke exclaimed in a reprimanding tone. "Haley, it's not fair that you're punishing Nathan by keeping him away from us! He needs us now, too! In fact, I think he needs us more than you do!"

"I'm not keeping him away from you," Haley automatically defended herself. She was already feeling guilty but she couldn't think about that now. All she wanted to do was protect herself from the attack that she knew was coming.

"Then why didn't you invite him over here?" Peyton asked harshly.

"It's not my job! If you wanted him here, you could have—"

"Oh no, you don't," Brooke said waving her finger at Haley. "You two have always been joined at the hip. You were a couple. It was always understood that we didn't need to specifically invite the both of you!"

"Unless that's changed?" Peyton asked seriously. "Did it, Haley? Did you two break up? Because then it's only fair that you let us know that too."

"No, we didn't break up—"

"And your parents are letting you see him again?" Brooke asked as she tapped her foot.

"Yes. We just got back—"

"Then why isn't he here? Huh? Explain that, Haley?" Brooke fumed. "I'm real interested to hear that one because all I know is that now you've got Lucas looking like a real jackass to his cousin and he's real upset about it—"

"What does Lucas have to do with this?" Haley asked as she began to get angry herself. She hated how her friends were meddling in her relationship with Nathan. Her defensive instincts were now in full gear as she narrowed her eyes at both of them.

"We all have something to do with this, Haley!" Peyton answered for Brooke. "Like it or not, we are all best friends, and when you go and don't invite Nathan out with us—"

"—And not tell us—" Brooke interjected.

"It affects all of us. It's just not fair that Nathan has to sit out just because you're being a brat!" Peyton finished.

"You think I'm being a brat?" Haley shouted, tears pooling in her eyes. "Do you have any idea what I went through today? Do you have any idea what I've been going through? Someone almost died and I could have stopped it! _I could have_!" Haley stomped her foot as she emphasized that point. "And now, I'm just trying to figure everything out and having him around just makes it so much harder! I mean, my God! I spent nearly eight hours in a car with him today! Isn't that enough?"

Brooke and Peyton looked at her and remained silent for a minute process this. Brooke uncrossed her arms, and put her hand to her head in frustration. She then shook her head vehemently at Haley, clearly unconvinced at her argument. "You're pushing him away, Haley James, and it's killing him. That's fine. You do what you want to do, but don't let us be part of this game you're playing. He's hurting. It was _his sister_ after all. And you were the one he always leaned on. Now, he hung up on Lucas and he won't answer his phone…you tell me who needs their friends more right now? You, who has a loving, supporting family, or Nathan, who comes from two fucked up parents that have a fine job of fucking up their kids."

All three of them looked up as Lucas burst into the kitchen. Haley could almost see steam coming from his ears and braced herself for what she could only assume would be another round of attacks on her.

"Well, he finally picked up! Guess who he's out with? Will you?" Lucas looked pointedly at Haley. "Come on, Haley. I'll give you one guess. Actually two."

"Fuck you," Haley bit out as she stormed out of the kitchen and then out of the café.

Tears clouded Haley's vision as she ran as fast as she could in the direction of her house. When she was finally out of breath and felt like she couldn't even walk, she sat down on the curb, put her knees to her chest and began to sob violently. She barely noticed a minute later when a figure appeared beside her. She looked up and rubbed her eyes trying to focus and saw it was Jake. She couldn't help but immediately but her guard up.

"If you're here to just tell me how much I've fucked up, I'm all set with that," Haley muttered, choosing to keep her eyes focused on the curb instead of Jake.

"Nope. I think the three of them have done a fine job doing that," Jake sighed as he took a seat next to her. "Look, it wasn't right of them to come at you like that." Haley's guard began to come down as she turned and looked at sincere Jake. At least he wasn't yelling at her. "We were all just surprised. I don't think we realized how far you and Nathan have come. You two were always so solid and I think we just need some time to get used to this."

Tears streamed down Haley's face as she came to the conclusion that everyone was talking like Nathan and her were breaking up; like it was inevitable. She hated this. Yes, she was pushing Nathan away, she knew that, but it was never supposed to be permanent. She didn't want it to be permanent and it had taken that horrible scene in the café to show her that. Now, she was beginning to wonder if the damage she had done was irreparable. "I don't want that, Jake."

"What do you want, Haley?" Jake asked softly.

"I don't know. Not this! I don't want all of you hating me. I don't want to push Nathan away. I don't want to hurt him when he's already hurting."

"Why don't you reach out to him, then? Talk to him."

"I have. I told him I needed space. I tried being honest, but that got me know nowhere."

"Have you talked to him about what happened? About Rachel?"

"I ca-can't," Haley quietly admitted. "I want to, but I can't. I can't get over what happened to her and how she almost died. And now, after all these years of pushing down what happened that night when we were kids, I have to deal with that too! It's like I have to live through it all over again in these stupid therapy sessions my parents are making me go to and that's all I can handle right now."

Jake put his comfortingly arm around Haley. "You know, Haley, Nathan's going through all that too. Wouldn't it make sense to talk to him about it?"

"Maybe," Haley shrugged, "but I don't want to just add to his problems. He has enough to deal with."

"But he doesn't have _you_ right now….and you know Nathan…" Jake gave Haley a knowing look.

"What do you mean by that?" Haley asked her heart sinking. She pulled away from Jake, knowing she wasn't going to like what he was going to say next.

"I've actually known Nathan longer than you. We started playing basketball when we were, like four. Then, I grew up going to school with Damien. Damien is bad news and Tim just falls right in line with him.—"

"I know that, Jake!"

"I know you do. It's just…I worry about him falling back in with those guys. Look, you didn't see him freshman year. He was so angry all the time and he drank and partied with them and they got caught up in some bad things—"

"I know all of that," Haley told him.

"Yeah, but _you didn't see it_, Haley. It sucks to watch one of your good friends, who you know is going through a rough time, drink his problems away and get caught up in a bad crowd and do bad things. I mean, isn't that what happened with Rachel? Isn't that one of your regrets? Not being there for her when she needed you?" Haley just looked down at her feet and remained silent. She couldn't look at Jake as he spoke what she knew was the truth. "All I'm saying is that we get that you're confused and we'll be there for you, but we want to be there for him too. And… if there is any chance you want to fix things with him, the time to do it is _now_. Or at least _end it_ and then _let us step in_ and try to help the guy."

Haley stood up and looked directly at Jake. "The only think I know, Jake, is that_ I don't want to end it_. I just need some time. One of these days, I won't be so afraid of dealing with everything."

"Okay, then," Jake said standing up as well. "Let us deal with him for now."

Haley nodded but remained unconvinced this was what she wanted. She just wasn't sure she could stand by and let her friends try to help _her boyfriend_. She had always been the one to help him and she was still confident that she knew him best. Did she really want this to change? She began to doubt all the things she just said today, including what she said to Nathan during the car ride.

As Jake and she walked back towards the café, Haley knew Jake would help her work things out with her friends. She wasn't sure how that would happen, but it needed to happen and she might as well get it over with. Then maybe after a good night's sleep, she would wake up and suddenly have the strength she needed to help the person who still mattered the most to her. And if Nathan didn't know that was still him, she would just have to convince him.

* * *

Nathan watched her from afar as she came out of the Tutor Center. He had done this ever since they came back from break. He had her schedule down and was relieved to see that it hadn't changed much over the course of the past few weeks. He knew that schedule because he used to live it. He used to drive Haley to school, and then would always try to drive her home after, even when she had late appointments at the center. That all changed the week he was absent from school after the wedding. During that week, Lucas started driving Haley and had just kept up the routine even when Nathan got home. That was back when he thought the only reason Haley was staying away was because of her parents. Now, he knew better. Haley just simply didn't need him anymore.

Nathan grimaced as soon as he saw Felix running to catch up with Haley. He knew that they had just spent the past hour together which bothered him even more now. At least before, he could tell himself that Haley didn't realize he was playing her; that Felix really didn't need a tutor at all. But she did know that now and yet, there she was continuing to work with Felix, as she avoided him.

Okay, so maybe it appeared as if she had started to come around and wasn't really avoiding him anymore. Yes, she had called a couple of times, but that was only after he was sure Lucas told her he had gone out with Damien and Tim. He knew how that must sound to her, but what did she expect? He couldn't just sit at home and do nothing; not these days anyway. He had to keep his mind going and since Haley was busy hanging around with their friends, he had to figure out something. Turns, out it wasn't that hard.

Damien was still a cocky son of a bitch. That hadn't changed, but at least he wasn't mean to him and actually seemed glad to have him back around. Nathan knew it was as if in some way, Damien viewed him a prize; he always seemed to walk a little taller when he was around. Nathan found this unnerving, but when they hung out, he found it easier to take with a fair amount of alcohol in his system. Alcohol was always plentiful when Damien was around.

Nathan's thoughts turned back to Haley as he heard her laugh. Felix had just whispered something in her ear and she appeared to find this hysterical. Nathan thrust his hands in his pockets and turned around and began walking away. It just hurt to too much to watch.

"Nathan! Nathan! Wait up!" Haley shouted after him. Nathan kept walking, but soon enough Haley caught up to him. "You didn't return any of my calls," she said breathlessly.

"I was busy," Nathan said avoiding eye contact.

"Nathan…"

"What, Haley? What do you want?" Nathan said harshly as he finally stopped and looked at her.

"I want to talk to you."

"Now, you want to talk to me. I thought you needed space, Haley. This is me, giving you space," Nathan replied curtly.

"I don't need space, anymore, Nathan. I want to be with you."

"Why? Because you feel bad for me? Like Lucas does? Like Jake? Heck, I even have Brooke on my ass these days. I just wish everyone would back the hell off."

"Even me?" Haley asked watching him carefully. Nathan just shifted his feet and looked away shrugging. "Nathan, are we still together or what? Is this us breaking up?"

Nathan looked at her seriously. "Is that what you want, Hales?"

"No, I don't and it's not because I feel bad for you. _I need you, Nathan_, and I hope you need me, and that I haven't screwed things up so much that—"

Haley's breath was taken away as Nathan seized her lips in a fierce kiss.

"Does that answer your question?" Nathan asked as he pulled away to regain his own breath.

"I hope so," Haley said as she felt her heart racing. Taking in by his eyes, those damn blue eyes that were searing into her, Haley threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back just as fiercely as he kissed her. "God, I missed you," Haley admitted when they finally broke apart.

"Me too," Nathan said as he rested his forehead against hers. "So much…"

"We still need to talk. I was hoping maybe you could come by for dinner on Sunday."

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Hales," Nathan said nervously. "How about we just do this instead?" Nathan smiled and then leaned in and began to forcefully kiss her again.

Haley didn't care that there were people around; all she wanted was to feel him; his lips, his tongue, his hands on her lower back. Then, just like that, the spell was broken and it was over.

"Hey, Nate."

Nathan pulled away from her and looked over at Tim. "Hey, Tim."

"You coming by later? I want to kick your ass again," Tim laughed.

"Yeah, I'll be there," Nathan nodded.

"See ya," Tim smiled as he walked away.

Haley couldn't help the look on her face. She hated that Nathan was hanging out with him again.

"It's just NBA Live, baby," Nathan said reading her thoughts. "He beat me last night and he'll never let me live it down if I don't play him again."

"You don't have to explain it to me," Haley said, looking away.

"No, I do. I mean, you're still my girlfriend, right?"

"Yes," Haley weakly smiled back.

"So, Sunday?"

"Yup. I'll tell my mom prime rib."

"Don't push it, Haley," Nathan gently warned.

"It'll be fine; you'll see. I wouldn't have you over otherwise…I just need you be okay with parents again."

"Okay. Look, I have to go now. I have some things to do."

"Okay," Haley said quietly disappointed. Nathan gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and then headed off.

As Haley left the school and began her walk home, she couldn't shake the feelings that things had changed so much. Was it too much? Nathan was back hanging out with Tim, which she also meant Damien too, had "things to do," whatever that meant, and hadn't even offered her a ride home. A month ago, she never would have even thought this would be possible. How far they had come…could they go back? Find their way back to each other? Was that even possible? These thoughts haunted Haley as the rain began to fall and for the first time in a while, she was actually bothered by it. It made her just miss Nathan even more.

* * *

"What do you need?" Haley asked Peyton as they entered the mall. She had a feeling that Peyton was trying to cheer her up and she couldn't help but wonder just how well her friend knew her. The mall was more Brooke's thing after all.

"I thought we could shop for prom dresses," Peyton said excitedly as she pulled Haley into trendy boutique.

"I thought you were wearing one of your mom's?" Haley asked as a pit began to form in her stomach. This mission had definitely caught her off-guard. In fact, she probably wouldn't have agreed to come if she had known this is what Peyton had in mind.

"I think so, but it doesn't hurt to look. Besides, you need one, right? Unless you were going to have Brooke design you one? Still, you can get some ideas," Peyton said as she began pulling dresses off of one of the racks.

"I guess so…"

A half hour later, Haley emerged from the dressing room wearing a stunning yellow strapless dress. It seemed to fit her just right and the color looked great on her and was perfect for a May prom.

"That's it, Haley! It's the one. You have to get it!" Peyton squealed.

"You like it? It is nice…" Haley said as she turned and examined herself in the mirror from different angles.

"I'm just not sure…"

"What's wrong with it? What don't you like?" Peyton asked curiously.

"It's not the dress, Peyton," Haley softly admitted.

"What then?"

"I'm not sure Nathan wants to go with me."

"You're kidding!"

"No, Peyton, I'm not. You of all people should know that," Haley said knowingly. Peyton was the person he had taken to his junior prom after all!

"Right," Peyton responded guiltily. "So, you haven't talked about it?"

"No. We haven't talked much about anything lately." It had been two days since their kiss in the hallway and although they had talked briefly in school, it hadn't been anything special.

"Well, I saw you two making out in the hallway, so I just assumed you were back together…."

"We never broke up, Peyton." Haley crossly corrected her. No matter how many times she said it, people did not seem to get the message. She had been asked about it over and over in school, by some people she didn't even know and was beyond frustrated with this. It was none of their business anyway. "Things are just strained," Haley said, shaking it off. "He's coming over for dinner on Sunday so I'm hoping once things are okay with my parents, things will get better. Still…"

"He needs to ask you to prom. I get that." Haley nodded in agreement. "So you're not going to get the dress? The thing is…it's the only one in your size. It might be gone by the time he gets around to it…" Peyton cautiously warned her.

Haley shook her head. "I don't want to jinx it. Not after what happened after last year. Not with how things have been lately."

"I still don't get what happened. It was like one minute you were practically married and the next Rachel was in the hospital and BAM! You and Nathan were like two totally different people."

"It was mostly me, but I guess you all figured that out. I just got scared. I had to deal with so much at once; Rachel almost dying and then not knowing if she was brain damaged, her parents, my parents, what happened to Rachel in the first place, what almost happened to me and –oh yeah, did I mention that Nathan I had sex too?"

Peyton slapped Haley's arms upon hearing this news. "No, Haley! You most certainly did not! Haley!"

"I know, I know," Haley said as she rubbed the spot Peyton had hit.

"So?" Peyton pressed her.

"It was…more than I thought it could ever be. It was perfect. It felt so right. At the time, anyway."

"Why am I not sensing it just complicated everything?"

"Because it did," Haley quickly agreed. "I felt even closer to him and that was the problem. See the thing is Peyton; _I can't hide from Nathan_. He knows me too well. He can see right through me and everything I'm dealing with and with everything that was going on, I just felt like I had to push him away. I wasn't ready to deal with everything all at once."

"Because you wanted to hide?" Peyton asked following Haley's train of thought.

"Yes, but what I really needed was for Nathan to push me. He knows how to do that in the right way. With everyone else, I just shut down. But, I won't let that happen again. I see how much I need him now."

"It's so good to hear you say that!"

"Still, right now, I think he needs a little push about prom because I really want this dress, Peyton!"

"I'm on it!" Peyton smiled coyly. "Consider it my penance for last year!"

* * *

Nathan was just finishing up at his locker when Jake appeared from behind him.

"Hey, Nate. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"As long as it doesn't involve another lecture," Nathan said bluntly.

"It's about prom. Did you get your tickets yet?"

"No. They're still on sale right?" Nathan asked slightly nervous.

"Only until tomorrow," Jake pointed out.

"Good," Nathan said with a sigh of relief.

"Thing thing is, Nate…I know it's none of my business, but if it were me, I'd want to know…"

"What?" Nathan asked. From the look in Jake's eyes, it seemed as if this was something important, and not just another lecture about hanging out with Damien.

"You're planning of going on with Haley, right?"

Nathan's mouth dropped open. "Who the hell else would I go with? She's still my girlfriend you know!" Nathan said frustrated. It seemed like he had to remind everyone of that lately.

"I know, but you haven't exactly asked her right? And after last year, I really think you need to."

Nathan shifted uncomfortably as the guilt set in. "Things have been crazy lately. It wasn't really my priority, you know…"

"That's what I figured. The problem is she's not sure you want her to go. I mean, I probably shouldn't be telling you that, but the thing is that Peyton's had this plan of the four of us going to prom and now Haley won't get a dress, because you haven't asked her. Now, Peyton's upset and when Peyton gets upset, that's when it becomes my problem too, you know?"

"I'll take care of it," Nathan nodded understanding.

"Thanks, man," Jake said, patting him on the back.

"Hey, Jake?" Nathan called after Jake before he left.

"Yeah?" Jake said turning back around.

"Thanks for the heads up. It's nice to know someone's looking out for me."

"We all are, man," Jake assured him.

* * *

Haley walked into the Scott's kitchen and could immediately feel the tension. Nathan was standing with his back to her, making some sandwiches, while both Deb and Rachel stood close behind him, watching him as they spoke.

"Nathan, your sister is only really home today. She's going back early tomorrow morning. Do you really have to go out with your friends now? She was looking forward to spending some time with you," Deb explained.

"It's not like anyone told me," Nathan muttered tersely.

"I thought Haley would," Rachel said, her hands on her hips. "She should be here any second.

"I'm here," Haley interjected, causing all three faces to fall on her. "I didn't tell him. Sorry."

"Oh," Rachel said as a look of confusion spread across her face.

"Well, what are you doing, anyway? Can't Rachel and Haley come?" Deb asked.

"No!" Nathan said emphatically as he threw the knife he was using in the sink, making a loud noise.

"Um, I think maybe this is my fault," Haley said trying to ease the tension. "Maybe I can talk to Nathan alone?"

"Sure, but, Nathan, I expect you to work this out for your sister," Deb said sternly as she and Rachel left the room.

Haley slowly approached Nathan. He was now standing with his back against the kitchen sink with his arms crossed. Using her intuition, she carefully took his arms and placed them around her back and then slid her own arms around him. Nathan's facial expression immediately softened as the two locked eyes. "What's going on?" Haley asked softly.

"Damien's on his way over with Tim. We're going fishing and I don't want to cancel; not to deal with this shit, anyway."

"You know, it's part of Rachel's therapy, Nathan. She wants to learn to be around us, together."

"Well, that's great now, Haley, but don't you think it's a little too late?"

"No, Nathan. It's never too late." Haley looked into his eyes and knew she had him. She felt a rush of relief that they still had that same connection they always had.

"Fine. Let me call him," Nathan reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone.

"No, wait," Haley began. "Are you going by that beach area?"

"No, Haley. I don't want you or Rachel for that matter, around him," Nathan said reading her thoughts.

"We won't be!" Haley said as she began to playfully make a grab at his phone, which he was now holding up out of her reach. "We will just go off and start our summer tans. It's just so nice out today! You won't even know we're there! You can go off with the guys and I can be with Rachel and it'll be fine. Just the three of us would be too intense anyway. Rachel said all she wants is baby steps," Haley pleaded with him.

"I don't know, Haley," Nathan said as finally laid his phone on the counter.

"It'll be fine, I promise. I trust you, Nathan. You just go off and keep him away from me and I'll stick with Rachel. She'll love that anyway. Plus, I really want to show her that place. It's kind of hot out and we can put on our bikinis—"

"I definitely need to stay away from you in that case," Nathan smirked.

"Thank you," Haley said as she leaned on the tip of her toes to give him a soft kiss. "You won't regret it! Let me run home and change!"

"For the record, I don't think this is a good idea!" Nathan called after her.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Love the Way You Lie" (Eminem, featuring Rihanna)

AN: Just a warning, I may wait a little longer to post the next chapter…After I post that one, I want to be able to post the next few very quickly and I want time to really go through them again.

I know some people are upset with the turn Haley took. I was channeling season 2 Haley, which btw is my least favorite season…In that season she did lie and hide things from Nathan. Then there was her whole 'I have a dream to be a singer' thing that popped up suddenly. I will not be using that story line, in case you were wondering. Haley does have an interest in music, but not singing. On the show, I felt they only used that storyline because of the amazing talent of BJG. I can't blame them for that, but I don't feel it was true to the character at heart.

Thank you for all the kind reviews. One kind, supportive review is worth a thousand good ones—really! I mean that.


	41. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 40: "Love the Way You Lie" (Eminem, featuring Rihanna)

Nathan was on his third nip of vodka when he finally began to feel the effects of the hard liquor. He felt more relaxed and mellow, which is exactly what he wanted. He drank the first one while they were all waiting for Haley to return from her house so they could leave. Damien had been pissed when he learned Haley was coming and then downright livid to find out they had to wait for her. Nathan had grown tenser by minute until he couldn't take it any longer. He had pulled out one of the nips that Tim had stashed in the back of the SUV and downed it.

Unlike when he spent time with his other friends, Nathan was quiet one of this group. Damien had always been the loudmouth anyway, but now, after not hanging around with them for so long, Nathan found he honestly had nothing to say to these guys. He didn't have notes to compare about girls, he wasn't into the party scene anymore, and could only handle so much talk about video games. Then, the only thing that really linked them all together—basketball—seemed like a topic that was off limits. So he let Tim and Damien do the talking and just hung back, content to just be there; around some guys who might be annoying as hell, but weren't hassling him about his personal life. Now with Haley in their near vicinity, Nathan figured it was just a matter of time before Damien returned to his usual antics of needling him. This led to him drinking his next few nips.

Nathan did have a plan for the day, but it was one that he wasn't completely comfortable with. He tried to convince himself as long as the two groups remained separate, everything would be okay. He could handle Damien and it wasn't like he wanted Haley to know about his drinking anyway. That would just create more problems for them and he really did want to make things right with her; just not today. As promised, the girls had steered clear of them and set up their towels and tanning gear down on the beachfront area, while they set up for fishing down by the rock wall that surrounded part of the cove. Nathan could see off in the distance from where they were which, in his opinion, was the perfect setup for his plan. He planned on drinking a little more, enough to get a buzz going , figuring it would also help to ease the tension with Damien, as it always made Damien happier when he had drinking partners. Then, he would just keep an eye on the girls and soon enough this miserable day would be over and he could focus on more important things.

As he tuned out Tim and Damien's conversation about a party they were planning on going to that night, he began to mull over one of the those important things; making things right with Haley's parents. The more he thought about it, the more he was beginning to dread going to her house for dinner tomorrow. So Nathan took out another nip, the one he swore would be his last of the day, and tried to forget about how hard it would be to face Haley's father after what had happened and the things he said to him. He would just have to trust what Haley had told him; that she wouldn't being trying this if her dad hadn't cooled down.

"So, Nate, what do you think?" Tim asked as he nudged him.

Nathan tugged at his fishing line to see if he had a bite, but found nothing. Obviously, Tim was not talking about fishing. His question must have been about that damn party.

"Uh, I can't go," Nathan answered hesitantly.

"You back on your short leash these days?" Damien asked snidely.

Nathan looked carefully at Damien assessing his behavior. As usual, Damien wasn't making eye contact with him. He simply stared ahead with that smug look of his plastered across his face, as he cast out his line. Nathan quickly came to the conclusion that Damien was scared of him; that had to be it. He loved to provoke him, always in front of a group of people, but when they were alone, Damien was more passive-aggressive. It was a classic example of a serious inferiority complex.

Unable to think about this heavy stuff anymore as the alcohol set into his system, Nathan decided to just ignore him, since he was just being an ass anyway. Damien was clearly intimidated by him, which in the end gave Nathan the upper hand.

"Hey, you in for the post-prom bash?" Tim asked breaking the silence.

Fuck, prom! Why the hell did Tim have to bring that up? It was enough to kill Nathan's buzz. Nathan's mind began racing as he thought about how he still hadn't talked to Haley about it. Jake had even followed up with him about it, making it clear that Peyton and Haley were planning on heading back out shopping Sunday morning with intentions of buying that dress she wanted. Nathan had promised to get it resolved by then, which meant it would have to be today, maybe even tonight. He cursed himself for drinking and vowed to sober up.

"So? Are you?" Damien pressed him. "I rented a cabin up in Durham."

"Probably not," Nathan muttered. There was no way he was going, but that was the least of his worries now.

This seemed to anger Damien as he began harshly jerking his fishing line up and down. When he saw there was no bite, he hastily began reeling his line back in. "Really? What are you doing then, Nate? Are we not good enough for you? Going back to hanging out with your real friends?"

Nathan kept his mouth shut. From the corner of his eye, he could see Tim shooting him a nervous look.

When Damien saw this, his threw down his rod and stared them both down. "Tell me, again why you invited him, Tim? Why the hell would you let this loser come back and hang out with us whenever he feels like it?"

"I thought we were boys," Tim said, looking more at Nathan than Damien. Then, as Damien eyes narrowed at Tim, it seemed to invoke something in him, as if Damien's anger was spreading into Tim. Yes, a flip had switched in Tim, as he got sucked into Damien's game and turned on Nathan. "I mean, fuck, Nate…you won't even let us near your girl? What do you think we're going to do? We're good enough to drink with, but not good enough to even stand next to that bitch?"

Nathan could feel a fire forming inside of him. He tried to calm himself. He tried to convince himself that Tim didn't really believe this and that he was just putting on a show for Damien. In fact, it sounded as if he was reciting Damien's words, which was probably true. Nathan had once been a victim of this during his freshmen and sophomore years, when he didn't know any better. Still, he couldn't let anyone talk about Haley like that, and by now, Tim should be able to stand on his own two feet and not be a prop to Damien.

Nathan threw down his rod and took a step closer to Tim, vaguely aware of a grinning Damien taking this all in a few feet away. "That bitch is my girlfriend!" Nathan seethed.

"Oh, really? That's not what I heard," Damien piped in as he stepped up next to Tim. "I heard you two broke up. Isn't that the real reason you came crawling back to us, Nate?"

"You better watch it, Damien. I socked you once, and I'm not afraid to take you out right here."

"Ha! You think you can take both of us? Because Tim feels the same I way I do, isn't that right?"

Tim remained silent but crossed his arms and stood a little straighter, making it clear he was still Damien's sidekick. Nathan eyed them both and debated taking them on. He knew if he let the rage that was building inside him takeover, it would be dangerous. There was no question he could take both of them, but the bigger question gnawing at Nathan was if he could stop himself. When unleashed, his anger was a dangerous thing and after holding back for so long when it came to Damien, Nathan was convinced he could literally kill him with his bare hands if he wanted to. But did he want to? Did he really want to do that? Nathan decided it was best to stick for words for now and try not to get physical.

"You two make me sick! You're so jealous you can't see straight! Tim, get your own, life will you? You really want to spend your life as the pathetic sidekick to a basketball has-been who's probably gonna need his father to tie his shoes for the rest of his life? I mean, Damien, you'd let your father shoot your free-throws for you if you could!"

"Screw you," Damien hissed.

"Fuck you," Nathan shot back.

Knowing it was just a matter of time before things escalated beyond words, Nathan gave them both the finger and began to head towards the girls.

"Where you going, Nate? Running over to that whore, you call your girlfriend? You know what I heard? I heard she dumped your ass because you couldn't satisfy her! You never could get the job done, Nate, huh? Always needed me to finish up your work. Well, I'd be happy to go over there and show her what a real man—"

Nathan spun around, fists clenched and glared at Damien. "I swear to God, Damien-if you ever touch her, IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT HER, I WILL KILL YOU. You understand? I WILL KILL YOU." Nathan turned back around and called out over his shoulder, "And that goes for my sister too!"

"Don't worry, Nate! I don't do crazy!" Damien laughed.

"Fuck you!"

As Nathan got close to Haley and Rachel, he was happy to see they hadn't heard all the yelling. They were both lying on their stomachs and had their earphones on and appeared to be tuning out the world as they sunbathed. Nathan took a look over his shoulder and saw that Damien and Tim were packing up the SUV and most likely getting ready to leave. Nathan was relieved even though it would mean they would have to find their own way home. He felt his pocket for his phone and cursed himself for leaving his cell in Damien's car. He knew they wouldn't have any reception in this spot, but still, if he had a phone, at least he could have walked to the street and called Lucas for a ride from there. Now he would just have to figure something out. The problem was that now he was having trouble thinking clearly and that wasn't just because of the alcohol. His heart was racing and it was all he could do to focus on his breathing.

As he reached the girls, they both looked up and sat up and took off their earphones. Rachel looked annoyed while Haley looked nervous.

Haley took one look in Nathan's eyes and knew something was wrong.

"Hey," Nathan said taking a deep breath. Haley gestured for him to take a seat next to her. As he did, Haley watched Rachel. She seemed bothered, but Haley couldn't be sure if it was at Nathan's presence or at being interrupted from her tan. Haley looked back at Nathan and wanted to touch him, but hesitated. Then she noticed his heavy breathing and knew this was more serious than she thought.

"Hey, Hales? You have your cell phone?" Nathan asked quietly.

"No. I thought we don't get reception here," Haley said confused.

"I know." Nathan watched as Haley stood up and began putting on her shorts, shirt and sandals.

"Come on. Let's go," Haley said sternly. "Rach, Nathan and I are going for a walk. Is that okay?"

"Uh, actually, I don't think we should leave Rach—" Nathan began.

"I'm fine!" Rachel interjected. "Besides," she said as she flipped her hair and smiled broadly, "I need to finish my tan." Rachel put her earphones back in and turned back onto her stomach.

"Come on," Haley repeated as she grabbed for Nathan's hand. Nathan reluctantly stood up and brushed the sand off his shorts. Haley began to head towards the direction of Damien.

"Haley, wait! Not that way."

"Are they leaving?" Haley asked as she squinted off into the distance.

"It's better off that way," Nathan explained.

"How are we going to get home?" Haley asked nervously.

"We'll figure something out," Nathan muttered. "Look, I can't talk about this right now. I need to calm down. I'll explain everything later." Nathan began looking around for another trail to head off to when he spotted Damien's rowboat. That was it; the distraction he needed that would clear his mind. He would take Haley out on the boat, slow down his racing heart, get some peace of mind, and ask her to prom. That would take one huge load of his chest. By that time, Damien should be gone and he was confident the three of them would be able to figure something out as far as getting home.

Nathan pulled out the rowboat and flipped it over and pulled it over to the shoreline. "Haley, can you grab those oars?"

"You can't be serious. I don't want to go out in that thing, Nate," Haley said skeptically.

Nathan looked at Haley with pleading eyes. "I need to focus on something, Hales. Come on. Besides, I have to talk to you about something important." Haley began to bit her lip as she thought about his offer. Going for a quick walk was one thing; rowing out to the middle of the cove was another, especially since it meant leaving Rachel. "It's nothing bad, I promise," Nathan added. It was then that Haley realized how much Nathan needed this. His breaths were staggered and he had that look of panic in his eyes. He needed to focus on something and it was probably best that Rachel didn't witness one of her brother's panic attacks.

"Okay." Haley went and grabbed the oars and handed them to Nathan, who was standing in the midst of the boat. He threw them inside and then stood up and held his hand out for Haley to join him. Haley took his hand and looked at him nervously. Nathan tightened his grip on her hand and she gingerly stepped into the boat and took a seat on the side opposite Nathan. She watched as Nathan used the oars to push away from the shoreline and then, when they were far enough way, he secured the oars and began rowing. She watched his face carefully and saw that he was very focused on the rowing. She was happy to see that she was right and this was just what he needed. By the time they were in the center of the cove, which really wasn't that far off of shore since this was just an inlet of the Cape Fear River, his breathing had returned to normal.

"Are you feeling better?" Haley asked quietly.

"A little. Know what would make me feel a lot better?" Nathan asked as he gave her a weak smile, as he let go of the oars.

Haley smiled and went sat next to him. Nathan turned slightly sideways and slipped his arm around her waist and looked at her with an intensity that sent chills through Haley's body. He looked her up and down and then stared right into her eyes. It was as if he was studying her…memorizing her….looking at her like it would be the last time…The chills went right to through Haley's core.

Nathan then cupped her cheek. "You know how much I love you?"

Haley felt the meaning behind his words. As he continued to look at her, he was searching for something. She wasn't sure what, but he definitely needed something from her, more than she was giving him at the moment. Hoping it was comfort and reassurance, Haley moved in closer to him and brought her hand to his chest. "I know."

Haley looked around them and took in the serenity of their surroundings. It was so beautiful and quiet where they were; like they were far away from the world and all of their issues. She knew many of their problems were just within reach, with Damien and Rachel as prime examples, but for now, Haley just wanted to enjoy this moment. It was like the calmness she felt before a great big storm.

She looked back at Nathan and then, like a bolt of lightning, she felt a zap of electricity run through her body, as their eyes locked. Without thinking, the two of them leaned in and began kissing each other passionately and with that, the calmness was gone. Haley felt like her body was on fire as she pressed her body up to his and began to kiss him even more deeply.

Nathan reciprocated, as his body began to respond to her. Although he had worked hard to push away his emotions, once again he began to feel like he was out of control, but this time in an entirely different way.

As soon as his tongue entered her mouth, Haley pulled back abruptly. "Have you been drinking?"

Nathan looked at her guilty and sighed.

Haley shifted away from him in response. "You're kidding, right? I mean, because you know that your sister is, like, going out on limb here? For Christ's sake, she's home only for the weekend and this is part of her therapy! And you know how Damien is. You really thought it was a good idea to drink like this? During the day, Nathan?"

"Haley, I'm sorry. It's wasn't supposed to be like this—"

"Like what? What did you think it was going to be like? That you could get drunk and I wouldn't notice? Or I wouldn't care? Better yet, _you didn't care_, did you? You don't care what I think anymore! That's why you're back hanging out with that loser! How could you, Nathan? After everything he's put you through? After everything he's put ME THROUGH? Tell me, what was your plan? Is this why you took me out here? Where I couldn't get away from you?" Haley's voice grew increasing louder with every question.

"No!" Nathan shouted back, startling Haley. She had never seen him look at that way before her. His eyes were full anger; full of rage and it was all directed at her. For a split second it scared her and she wished she could disappear. This is when, if she could, she would just walk away and give him time to cool down.

"You want to know what my plan was, Haley? Well, it has been brought to my attention recently that I haven't asked to you prom! Well, fuck, Haley, I asked you to MARRY ME, but apparently that wasn't good enough! Apparently, I need to be more specific with you! So, what do you say, Hales? In addition to asking you to spend the rest of your life with me, asking you to be my wife, do I have to beg you to go to prom with me?"

Haley felt like a steel knife was piercing through her heart as she sat there in silence. She turned her back towards him and looked off towards the shore where she saw Tim and Damien leaning against the SUV watching them. She was pretty sure they must have been able to hear every word of their shouting. She then felt Nathan move beside her and when she felt his hand on her back, she jerked away. "Don't touch me," Haley spat out as she moved her seat back to the one across from him. "And you didn't need to beg, Nathan. You just needed to ask. Do I have to remind you about last year? You know, when you led me on and then went and asked Peyton behind my back?"

"Like you'd ever let me live that one down, huh? Thanks for reminding me, Haley, because I wasn't sure you punished me enough. I mean, you wouldn't talk to me for two months, wouldn't even give me a chance to explain. You never let me explain anything, actually—"

"What was there to explain, Nathan?"

"I didn't want you around Damien! Just like today!"

"So you decide today would be a good day to get wasted? How does that work?"

"Haley, I said I was sorry!" Nathan then threw his hands up in the air and slammed then back down beside him. "God, I am so sick of apologizing to you. Why does everything have to be on your terms? We only talk when _you want to_, when _you're ready_. You say who I get to hang out with and when. I am so fucking sick of all of this!"

"Really, Nathan? Because I thought this was all fun and games! I just love being tricked into being taken out to the middle of the river and being stuck out here when you're being a drunken asshole! Just take me back to shore, will you?"

"No," Nathan replied flatly.

"What?" Haley asked in disbelief.

"No," Nathan repeated. "We're not leaving until we finish this. You're not running away from me again and leaving me hanging."

"What do you want me to say, Nathan? I'm not going to talk to you when you're drunk and angry like this."

"Tell me you'll go to prom with me."

Haley glared at him, as she felt her stubborn streak emerging. There was no way she was going to give him the answer he wanted with the way he had been acting.

"Seriously, Haley! Give me a god-damn fucking answer will you?" Nathan demanded.

"Get me off this boat!" Haley yelled.

"Answer me!" Nathan yelled back.

"You want an answer, Nathan! Let me give you an answer; NO!"

Nathan was stunned into silence as he realized that he had pushed Haley too far. Things had seriously gotten out of control so fast and a wave of nausea hit him at the same time he felt a pounding in his chest. "You don't mean that."

"I do," Haley said seriously. "Now get me off this boat."

Nathan felt his anger return as he crossed his arms and stared her down, indicating a return to their stalemate.

Haley eyed the oars and decided that since it was clear he wasn't going to touch them, it would be up to her. She grabbed the oars and began trying to paddle, but never having done this before, she was sure she looked like a fool as all her efforts did was cause the boat to spin around, but not actually move anywhere. She didn't need to look at Nathan to know that he was amused by her efforts, which just angered her even more. Then, as she felt his hands grasp over hers, she felt that anger exploding. She began trying to try to wildly shake his hands off of hers but his grip was too strong.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF—"

"STOP IT, HALEY! I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP—"

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!"

Then, as the two of them began struggling for control of the oars, the oars came out of the sockets. One of them dropped in the water and the other flew back and hit Haley in the face.

Haley gasped and her hand flew to her the biggest source of her pain, her nose, as blood came gushing out. She immediately began trying to use her shirt to soak in the blood, but there was just too much. Then remembering how to handle a bloody nose, she pinched her nostrils together and put her head down. She felt Nathan move beside her, but she tuned out anything he was saying as she focused on getting the bleeding to stop. When she finally looked up, she saw a shirtless Nathan looking desperately at her as he tried to use his rolled up t-shirt to wipe some of the blood off of her.

"I told you not to touch me!" Haley said as she gave him a strong push away. "I don't need your help! Stop trying to help me! I can take care of myself!" Haley stood up in the boat and looked around. She refused to make eye contact with Nathan, as she knew it would get the best of her. She knew he would melt her anger away with his now pitiful blazing blue eyes, but she didn't want that. Haley wanted to keep feeling the anger because it was easier to feel that instead of what was underneath, which was where the hurt was. She wanted to get away from Nathan and she wanted that now. If it didn't happen now, somehow what had just happened between them would be okay; just some silly fight and Haley didn't want that. She wanted to make a point and wanted Nathan to think about it about what had just happened and she needed to process it as well. She eyed the shoreline and realized that it really wasn't that far away, especially if she swam over to the shoreline over by the rock wall instead of the beachfront.

Nathan realized what she was thinking about and panicked. "HALEY! DON'T YOU DARE!" He stood up and grasped for her shoulder.

As soon as Haley felt his hands on her shoulders, she made her decision as her independent streak reared its ugly head. Sick of him telling her what to do, sick of him pushing her, sick of his ability to see through her walls, sick of needing him like she had during all her times of weakness, Haley had reached her limit. She spun around and gave a hard push that sent him reeling back. "LEAVE ME ALONE, NATHAN! I MEAN IT! I DON'T NEED YOU!" Haley then kicked off her sandals and dove into the water.

The water was colder than she expected, but Haley's adrenaline kicked in and before long, she could feel sand beneath her feet. Within minutes, she reached the rock wall where she saw Tim and Damien waiting for her at the top. She eyed the rock wall and saw all she would need to do was take two steps up into some of the crevices of the wall and she could be back on dry land. Then, Damien leaned down and extended his hand to her in an offer of support. Haley hesitated. She tried to read his face, but saw no evidence of any kind of emotion and decided to take up his offer. She took his hand and took her first, and then second step up, and stumbled back on to land, pushing slightly into a grinning Damien.

"Thanks," Haley said sheepishly as she tried to take her hand back. She jerked back, but his grip on her hand remained strong.

Then, Haley looked into his eyes and knew she was in trouble. He was eyeing her in that way that always made her skin crawl; it was the same look that Joe had in his eyes that night he attacked Rachel.

As she looked into those evil eyes, she heard his voice in her head. It was repeating all the veiled threats, hidden messages and innuendos she had heard from him over the past year.

_Looking to have a good time tonight?_

_Hey, Hales. Isn't that what they call you? Looking pretty fine tonight._

_Nathan and I have a little deal going you should know about. He gets a taste of my leftovers and I get a taste of his. So how do you taste, Hales? I'll find out sooner or later. _

_That's what you get for dressing like a slut._

_Looking fine tonight as usual, Hales._

_They might as well give you Whitey's whistle._

_Tell me you're coming to my party tonight, Hales._

She was definitely in trouble. She had never taken him seriously before, but now there was no doubt about it and Nathan wasn't there to save her.

"Let me go!" Haley shouted as she looked around frantically. Tim was standing by the SUV watching them, but not moving. In the water, she saw the rowboat, but there was no sign of Nathan in it. Fear swept through Haley's body as she tried to move, tried to fight back, but couldn't.

"Where do you think you're going, Hales? I see you're done with Nathan and now it's time for me to see what the fuss is all about. I mean, I never did understand what the big deal was." Damien shifted his grip to her wrist and threw his free arm around her back and roughly pulled her right up against his body, his hand resting on her ass. He leaned in whispered in her ear, "Do you remember what I told you? How I always get a taste of Nathan's leftovers? Well, I guess it's time you see what I meant." That's when Haley's survival instincts first kicked in.

"NATHAN!" Haley let out in a blood curdling scream. "NATHAN, HELP ME!"

Damien's hand clasped over her mouth and Haley used her now free hand to give him a hard shove, but it didn't help much as Damien grabbed her other wrist. He looked into her eyes and Haley could feel that evil, evil she had seen before, that was protruding from his eyes. "He's not coming, Haley. He's done with you and now it's my turn. Tell me, are you going to fight with me or are you going to play nice?"

Haley swiftly kneed him in the groin and tried to make a break for it.

"YOU BITCH! TIM, GRAB HER!" Damien screamed as he hunched over in pain.

Seconds later, Haley flew face-first into the dirt as she was tackled by Tim from behind. Then she felt him lift off her body and she lifted up her head to let out another scream.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME! NATHAN—" Haley's words were cut off as she felt a hand grabbing her hair and then she felt her head being lifted and shoved into the ground repeatedly. Her right eye came into contact with the edge of a rock each time. When it finally stopped, her body was flipped over and she opened her left eye and saw it was Damien hovering over her. She could taste blood in her mouth and she could only assume it was again from her nose. She couldn't even open her right eye.

As she tried to recover from the pain, Damien ripped open her t-shirt and gave her a wicked smiled. When his hands began touching her breasts, Haley snapped back to full consciousness. She clawed at his arms and then began kicking him as hard as possible.

That's when she saw the bat. Damien had picked it up with his right hand and was holding it over her.

"Tim, hold her down. I need to take care of these legs."

This just made Haley fight even harder as Damien moved off of her and Tim swiped in over her upper half. He put one hand over her mouth and used the other to grasp her wrists together. This time, Haley knew she was fighting for her life and kicked and struggled with all her might.

That's when she felt the first swing from the bat. It hit her right knee. Seconds later, the next blow came to her left knee. Haley tried to scream, but Tim's grip on her mouth was so tight, she was finding it hard to even breathe. She closed her eye and tried to block out what was happening to her until she felt her shorts being pushed down her legs. When brushed up against her knees, Haley's eyes flew open as a new waves of pain hit her as Damien tersely pulled her shorts over her knees and then off her body.

Haley closed her eye and summoned every bit of strength she had. It was clear that Nathan was not going to save her this time and she was sure as hell not going down without a fight. Haley bit Tim's hand and when he withdrew both his hands from her, she shoved him away. She then sat upright and tried to move her legs, but couldn't. Her knees just wouldn't work. She looked hopelessly at Damien as terror invaded her.

Damien looked at her and laughed. "You just had to fight, huh? That's fine. It'll give me a chance to pay you back for the hell you put me through this year." Damien pushed her back down and Haley defensively put her arms across her chest and she braced herself. Damien pulled back the bat and took aim.

"This is for messing with Nathan's head! You sucked him right into your web, you whore! Turned him into a pussy-whipped girl!" Damien swung and hit her right knee again.

Unable to think clearly, Haley continued to call out for the one person she knew could save her, although she knew he probably wasn't coming. "NATHAN!"

"This is for messing with my basketball team! You have any idea what that did to my game? You ruined my future!" The bat hit her left knee this time.

"STOP! PLEASE!" Haley cried out.

"This is for all the times my father blamed me for the problems you caused! You manipulative bitch!" The bat swept across her bare stomach, knocking the wind from Haley's lungs.

"Everything was fine before you, Haley. You turned everyone on me!" The bat returned to Haley's right knee again.

"Except you, Tim." Damien moved away from her and looked over at Tim. "You get her first, Tim."

Haley could barely hear Damien's words as pain shrouded her thoughts. Her breath had returned but she was in so much pain she was having trouble keeping her left eye open; her right eye was completely closed. When she finally opened her one eye and regained some semblance of vision, she found Tim staring into her. She could read the fear in them and she was vaguely aware of Damien screaming at Tim.

"Get going, you pussy. Come on, Tim. You were always a big talker! Now it's time to man-up!"

"Please," Haley whispered as she looked at Tim. Tim's hands then flew over his mouth, as if he was going to get sick. He moved away from her and she could hear him hurling from the right of her.

Haley pushed herself back upright and felt a wave of relief hit her as she saw the top of Nathan's head come up over the rock wall. His hand was gripping the top part and he appeared to be struggling to make the final step up to the top of the wall.

Still, he was there. He had heard her. He had come for her. He would save her. It was all over.

In her relief, Haley made a terrible mistake. "Nathan," she whispered alerting Damien to his presence.

Damien looked behind him and then quickly moved back over her, the bat in his hands and took aim at her jaw line. "Good. Let him watch this," Damien gritted through his clenched teeth. "This is for the time your boyfriend clocked me in the jaw!"

Darkness swept over Haley right after the first swing hit her left jawbone.

She was unconscious by the time Damien turned her face to the other side and hit her right jawbone.

She didn't see Nathan grab Damien by his shirt collar and throw him on top of the rock wall. She didn't hear Nathan screaming at Damien as he grabbed the bat. She didn't hear Damien pleading for his life as Nathan began beating him with the bat, hitting every body part he could see.

As Haley lay fighting for her life and Nathan swung the bat with a vengeance he had no control over, neither of them heard Tim start up the SUV.

Instead, with each swing of the bat, all Nathan saw was flashes of Haley.

_Haley, blushing when he told her how nice she looked, as he drove her to her surprise 15__th__ birthday party._

A swing that hit Damien's right shoulder.

_Haley, coming down the stairs, in her salmon strapless dress, as his date for the Homecoming dance._

A swing that hit Damien's left shoulder.

_Haley, sitting next him, her feet dangling over the edge of the pier, at the Riverwalk, comforting him after he got hurt in the Thanksgiving Day football game._

A swing that hit Damien's right knee.

_Haley, bundled up in snow gear, sitting on the snowmobile, right after they shared their first kiss._

A swing that hit Damien's left knee.

_Haley lying next to him, beaming, when he finally told her how he felt about her; how he always wanted to marry her._

A swing that hit Damien's right rib cage.

_Haley, wearing his basketball t-shirt, in the hotel room when the beach house had no air conditioning._

A swing that hit Damien's left rib cage.

_Haley, pouncing on him, as he walked into the café, after coming home from High Flyers._

A swing that hit Damien's right arm.

_Haley, leaning on the tip of her toes, to kiss him under the bleachers, at a football game._

A swing that hit Damien's left arm.

_Haley, wearing her green knit hat, bouncing up and down in her driveway, telling him she loved him too._

A swing that hit Damien's neck.

_Haley, throwing her arms around him, after he got kicked out of Tric for punching Damien._

A swing that hit Damien's right ear.

_Haley, being tickled by him, on her parent's couch, on New Year's Eve._

A swing that hit Damien's left cheek.

_Haley, sobbing, after she said goodbye to her grandmother, in the hospital in Charlotte._

A swing that hit Damien's left fingers.

_Haley, moving toward him, in the midst of a crowded room, at the State Championship party._

A swing that hit Damien's right foot.

_Haley, wearing her sleek black dress, kissing him, at the basketball banquet, in front of everyone._

A swing that hit Damien's stomach.

_Haley, sheepishly stepping out onto the dance floor, in her violet dress, at his Uncle Coop's wedding, with their song playing._

A swing that hit Damien's nose.

_Haley, looking deep into his eyes, as they made love for the first time._

Then, with all the noises in his head and around him, he was able to make out a barely audible voice.

"Nathan."

He dropped the bat and bent down to her.

"Haley."

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "The Freshmen" (The Verve Pipe)

AN: So I'm curious to hear if you were surprised or not that it was Damien. I tried to lay the foundation, but in the end when people do horrible things like that, it is usually not understandable. Hopefully, now you can also know you can trust me as an author and fan of Naley. I would never write Nathan doing something like that. I admittedly planted lots of red herrings though. I don't want to spoil anything (unless you pm me and I will) but keep reading…you can trust me.

For me, this is where the real story begins. I put a post in my profile explaining my inspiration for the story, if you are interested. Warning-it has spoilers.

The next chapter picks up after the prologue but has some refreshers so you can pick up from right there and don't have to go back and re-read that. Not sure if that is the best way to deal with a prologue. I hope that works. I wasn't sure how to do it.

Thanks for all the reviews and to everyone that had the faith to stick with this story. I want to give some time for people to read, but I will post the next chapter quickly.


	42. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 41: "The Freshmen" (The Verve Pipe)

After getting Haley to safety, Nathan ran as fast as he could back towards the site of the attack. He was about halfway there when he spotted Rachel's flaming red hair off in the distance.

"Rachel!"

Rachel spun around and began running toward her brother.

"Rachel!" Nathan called out again as he picked up speed.

"Quiet!" Rachel yelled in a hushed tone as she finally ran into Nathan's arms.

"Are you okay? Where were you? I thought—" Nathan spoke frantically.

"I ran to a place where I could get phone reception. I called for help, Nate, but she's gone!" Rachel eyes were wide with fear.

"She's on her way to the hospital. I just left her," Nathan explained breathlessly.

"Is she…" Rachel trailed off unable to bring herself to say the actual words she was thinking.

"She has a pulse. Rach, where did the SUV go?"

"Tim. He dragged Damien in it right when you went to Haley. Then he took off pretty fast so I ran off to get help."

"You called 9-1-1?"

"And Dad."

"Oh, fuck, Rachel," Nathan said as things began to click in his mind. His thoughts jumped to his father and his business dealings with the West's. Then he thought of Daunte Jones. Nathan began to feel that familiar feeling of panic in his body. "What did he say?" he asked desperately.

"He said after the ambulance comes for Haley, we need to hide, Nate. He said not to go the hospital or to the police because the West's have people everywhere. He said we can't trust anyone. He was in Raleigh and he's on his way back. He said to hide and wait till he calls back."

"You still have your phone?"

Rachel held up the phone and Nathan grabbed it from her hands.

"Who—Nathan! You need to go over here to get reception! Who are you calling?"

"Lu-Lucas," Nathan sputtered out, surprising himself. All of a sudden he was having trouble thinking, never mind speaking. He felt like the wind was knocked out of him. He thrust the phone back at Rachel and slowly fell on his knees, grasping at his chest. Rachel looked at him terrified and then quickly ran off with the phone.

It was then that full gravity of the situation sunk in. For a while, Nathan had been running on adrenaline, but now that he knew Haley was headed towards the hospital and Rachel was safe, he actually had time to think and his thoughts were spurring on the panic in his body.

This would the third threat of an attack today and although the other two hadn't come to fruition, there was nothing that would stop this one. The first one had almost hit just after he began fighting with Damien but had quickly subsided when he rowed Haley out to the middle of the cove. The second one had hit him just as Haley jumped off the rowboat. He had slumped down into the boat and began having chest pains strong enough to convince him he was having a heart attack. Then, he heard her screams.

Those screams would stay with him forever.

It was the screams that drove his panic away and sprung him into action as he dived into the water, heading towards the sounds of those screams.

The chain of events that followed was a blur to Nathan. Everything happened so fast. He hadn't had time to think. He had a vague recollection of seeing Tim, from the corner of his eye, puking by the side of the SUV. There had been voices. Rachel may have been one of them, possibly Tim, maybe even Damien. They had been indistinguishable to him. The only voice he heard was Haley's, but he wasn't even sure if that was real. It was just a soft whisper of his name, another sound he wouldn't be able to forget.

Nathan began hyperventilating as the guilt consumed him. He should have been focused on Haley all along. He should have got her in the SUV and got her help sooner. Nathan's chest heaved up and down as images of Haley flooded his mind.

Her clothes were ripped, face was bloodied, legs destroyed, and her eyes shut. The image blurred as tears streamed down Nathan's face. It was just too much to bear. He would give anything not to see that sight again, but he knew it would haunt him; if not in his waking state, then in his dreams.

Instead of going right to her, she had laid there like that, all alone, as he focused on his vengeance for Damien.

_Damien_. Anger quickly replaced the guilt. He was going to rape her. He swung the bat at her face; both sides of her jaw! He might have killed her. She might be dead.

And Nathan knew in his heart, _he was the one to blame_. Now, the guilt came back as he ticked of an endless list of regrets. _He shouldn't have let her come with them_. _He shouldn't have even gone!_ _He shouldn't have had those nips. He shouldn't have fought with Damien. He shouldn't have fought with her. He shouldn't have yelled at her. He should have jumped in the water right after her. He should have swum faster. He shouldn't have moved her or maybe he should have moved her faster. He shouldn't have hesitated. He should have paid closer attention to what was going on; to Tim, the SUV, to Rachel_. Instead, he was blinded by rage and Haley was the one to pay.

Then, like a lightning bolt, Nathan's biggest mistake hit him. _That mistake was him_. He shouldn't have ever dated Haley. He never deserved her in the first place; he always knew that. He had tried to change, but was never able to fully do that. His dark side was always there, just submerged deep down inside, waiting for the right opportunity to reemerge just like it did.

Then there was possibility that he had killed Damien. Still filled with rage, the only thing that bothered Nathan about this was the possible repercussions from the West family. Nathan realized that his life, as he knew it, was over. They would probably kill him and with the way he was feeling, that didn't matter to him at the moment. He would give anything not to feel what he was feeling now. He continued to grasp for air with his heart beating wildly inside his chest. He sincerely wished his lungs would just give out and his heart would stop beating.

But even if Nathan didn't care about himself, he did care about his family and friends. He hated how they might have to pay because of his mistakes. This was becoming the story of his life. Maybe everything would just be easier if he was gone.

Nathan closed his eyes and this time, instead of trying to breathe, he tried not to. He took in one last deep breath and held it in.

"Nathan!" He felt his shoulders been shaken and slowly the air came out of him. He cursed his body for working against him, as if was determined to not let him take the easy way out and instead wanted him to suffer. He opened his eyes and saw Rachel hovering over him. "Nathan! Breathe, Nathan! I can't lose you, Nathan! I need you! Please, please, Nathan, try to breathe! You have to," Rachel pleaded. This snapped back Nathan into focus and Rachel seemed to sense this. "Lucas is on his way. He's meeting us by the Gable Bridge."

Sirens sounded in the distance and Rachel offered him her free hand. Nathan took her hand and got up and began following her as best he could. She led him towards the shoreline, which they followed and a few minutes later, reached the bridge where they found Lucas waiting in Keith's truck.

As he hopped in the truck next to Rachel, Nathan saw Lucas eyeing him up and down. Nathan looked at himself and for the first time, felt his wet shorts stuck to his body and the water that were in his sneakers. Beyond that, as his eyes skimmed his shirtless chest, he noticed he didn't have a single scratch on him.

"What is going on? There are police cruisers and ambulances everywhere!" Lucas said anxiously.

Not sure exactly what Rachel had told him, and not really ready to talk about it anyway, Nathan was content to let Rachel fill him in.

"Just drive, Luke! We need a place to hide from the West's. Where can we go?" Rachel asked.

Lucas shifted the truck into gear and sped off. "We can go to my dad's garage. Now, start talking."

Rachel took a deep breath. "Damien beat up Haley. He tried to rape her—"

Lucas briefly swerved off the side of the rode as he took in this news. "Is she—Where is she? What the fuck!"

"Nathan stopped him, but…." Rachel trailed off as Nathan looked out the window unable to meet Lucas' eyes.

"But what?" Lucas stopped the car in the middle of the road and glared at Rachel. "WHERE IS SHE, RACHEL? WHAT HAPPENED TO HALEY?"

"She should be at the hospital, but DRIVE, LUKE! You need to focus!" Rachel spat out.

Lucas gripped the wheel and began to drive again. "Keep talking."

"He beat her really bad. _With a bat_."

"A BAT! THAT FUCKING BASTARD!" Lucas shouted as he slightly swerved again. "Is she—How is she?"

Rachel looked over at Nathan, unable to answer the question herself.

"Nathan!" Lucas yelled impatiently.

"She was alive, if that's what you mean," Nathan muttered, still looking out the window.

"I hope you got him good, Nate. I swear to God, he's going to get what's coming to him!" Lucas said as fury filled his eyes.

"I think Nathan took care of that," Rachel said quietly.

Silence filled the air as the truck pulled into Keith's Body Shop. All three of them jumped out of the car and headed inside to the empty building.

"Here," Lucas said as he threw a sweatshirt at Nathan. "It's all I have here. What now?"

"Let me call my dad," Rachel said as she pulled out her phone.

Nathan walked away and leaned in on the hood of one the cars parked inside on a bay. At this point, he was numb, which suited him just fine. Waiting to stay that way, he still refused to look at Lucas, who had just joined him.

"I don't understand how this happened, Nate. How did Damien get at her like that?"

Nathan's emotions came fluttering back as he turned and faced his cousin. "It was all my fault, okay? Is that what you want to hear, Luke? I _let him_ get to her like that!" Nathan then turned his back to him and began to walk away.

"Nate, wait! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Nathan!" Rachel called out in an alarmed tone. Both Lucas and Nathan turned to face her. "Dad said he's alive. They flew Damien to Charlotte—"

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM!" Nathan bellowed out. "I SWEAR TO GOD, DON'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME—"

"Nathan! They put out a hit on you! Dad said that they're looking for you and they want to kill—"

In that instant, Nathan saw a way out of all of this. He began to walk back towards the shop entrance.

"Nathan, wait! Where are you going?" Lucas called out.

"To the hospital. If they want me, let them come and find me. I just need to see her." One last time was all he needed.

* * *

It only took Nathan ten minutes to jog to the hospital. He was slightly relieved to find the emergency room almost empty although he knew Haley's parents where inside somewhere since he spotted Jimmy's car in the parking lot. He took a seat, knowing they would have to come out sometime. He didn't feel ready to face them but all he wanted to do was to see Haley. If he had to go through them to do it, then he would just have to.

About five minutes later, Lucas and Keith joined him.

"You. Now, let's go," Keith said sternly pointing towards the exit.

Nathan looked at up at his and remained still. "I'm not going anywhere," he said definitively.

"I'm not messing around, Nathan! I'll drag you out of here with my own two bare hands if I have to!"

"Then, that's what you'll have to do," Nathan said looking directly at Keith. At this point, Nathan's fear was gone. He had made up his mind. He had nothing left to lose.

"Nathan!" Keith said desperately as he thrust his hands to his head in frustration. "You've got to listen to me! You need to trust me! I'm trying to save your life here!"

Nathan stood up and looked intently at his uncle. "_My life_ doesn't need to be saved!" The weight on his heart returned as he tried to explain this further. "_Her life_ is the one the needs to be saved," Nathan pointed towards the e.r. door with tears in his eyes. "If they want me, they can have me! IN FACT," Nathan began screaming, letting his emotions get the better of him, "I WANT TO DIE. HOW ABOUT THAT? AFTER WHAT I DID—" Nathan stopped as he was overcome by a sob that seemed to rise out of him from the bottom of his stomach. He felt Keith's arms around him and for a minute, he let himself go.

"It's going to be okay," Keith consoled him.

"We're here for you, Nate," Lucas added.

With their words, Nathan's anger towards himself returned. He did not want to be comforted. He didn't deserve it. He pulled away from his uncle and looked at Lucas.

"You didn't see her, Luke." Nathan then began to yell as that image of Haley unwillingly returned. "Her eye!...It was swollen shut and …her legs! Oh God, her knee! Then, her face! You wouldn't even recognize—" Nathan's yelling was interrupted by two police officers that emerged from the e.r. He could tell from the look on their face they had heard everything he said.

"Nathan Scott?" The older police officer asked as they approached him.

"That's me," Nathan answered quickly.

"We have a few questions for you," they younger officer said.

"Well, here I am."

"Where you out with Haley James and Damien West earlier today?"

"Yes." Nathan wanted to ask how Haley was, but suddenly found himself afraid to do so.

The older officer looked at him closely, his eyes falling on Nathan's damp shorts.

"I'm Keith Scott, Nathan's uncle. His father is on his way here. I don't think Nathan should talk to you without a lawyer."

"It's fine. I'll tell them whatever they want," Nathan said looking at the officers.

The younger officer stepped away from them and picked up his radio. "O'Hearn to base."

"Copy. Base here. Reading you," a voice responded loudly from the radio.

"Copy. I got Nathan Scott here. What do we want to do with him? Over."

"Copy. Bring him in. We got a blood soaked shirt with his name printed across the back that we found in a boat," the response radioed back. "Over and out."

Nathan looked at his cousin and uncle as he realized this was worse than they had all expected. He had just become their prime suspect, not just in the beating of Damien West, but also of in the beating of Haley James. With all the connections the West's had, Nathan could already see the chances of people believing his story were dismal. There really wasn't a point in trying to fight it, not that he had that fight in him anyway.

"We'd like you come down the station and it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to get that lawyer," the older officer said looking at Keith.

"Don't talk," Keith ordered him.

"Ha!" Nathan scoffed. "I'm going to talk! I'll tell them exactly what happened, not that it matters! Ha! Well, I guess a life behind bars is what I deserve for—"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Out of nowhere, Jimmy James flew out of the e.r. doors and at Nathan, knocking him back into the chairs. The two police officers sprung quickly to action and held Jimmy back as they guided him back into the emergency room. "You'll pay for what you did to her!" Jimmy screamed just as the e.r. doors closed.

Keith extended his hand to Nathan and helped him to his feet. "Nathan, why are you making things worse for yourself? You see what I mean? You have to watch what you say. Wait for the lawyer."

"I know you're trying to help, Uncle Keith, but what you don't understand is, _I…don't…care_," Nathan said the last three words deliberately. After the exchange with Jimmy, he felt it now more than ever. If Jimmy, who knew him from when he was a child and had no affiliations with the West's, believed he was capable of doing that to Haley, that was it. He wasn't even going to try to defend himself. There was no point. He had nothing to left to live for.

* * *

"So if we test the bat for finger prints, what would we find?"

"Mine," Nathan responded flatly. "…and Damien's, but probably more of mine, since I was the last one to use it."

"And the shirt? Whose blood is that?"

"Haley's," Nathan answered matter of factly.

"Anyone ever tell you you're a cocky son of a bitch?" Officer O'Hearn asked snidely.

"Maybe once or twice," Nathan shot back. He was in his second hour of being interrogated and although he had been able to remain silent for the first hour, he had finally reached his limit as the two officers questioning him had begun speculating about what had happened. The things that they had suggested that he had done were unbearable to listen to anymore, so he had finally started answers some questions, albeit with a heavy attitude. Still, everything he was saying was the truth.

"So tell us, where exactly did the blood come from?"

"She got a bloody nose when we were in the boat."

"A bloody nose?"

"That's what I'm telling you."

"So, you started fighting on the boat. Did you punch her there?"

"I didn't punch her," Nathan gritted through his clenched teeth.

"But you said she got a bloody nose. You expect us to believe that it happened all on its own?"

"No, I told you that we had a fight—"

"By fight you mean, you got upset with her. Started hitting her…maybe she fought back…jumped out of the boat…then you followed,…got the bat…Mr. West tried to help her…you went after him…"

"That's not what happened!"

"But you already admitted to beating Mr. West. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, but only after he attacked her—"

"Oh, so now you have a story to tell us. Care to start at the beginning?"

"I just don't see the point. You're not going to believe anything I say anyway. Just lock me up already. At least my family will be safer with me in here."

Officer O'Hearn and Officer Stebbins looked at each other frustrated.

"Let's book him. At the least we got a confession on West," Officer Stebbins said standing up. "Attempted murder for now. You better hope he lives or you could be up for _at least_ one murder charge."

Nathan quickly replayed Officer Stebbins confusing words in his mind as they led him out of the interrogation room and towards a desk that sat in an open area to the right of the front counter. He knew that the officer mentioned an attempted murder and murder charge. Who was he talking about? Was that for Damien? He must still be alive, at that would explain the attempted murder, but then he had said _at least_ one murder charge. What did that mean about Haley? He still had no idea what had happened to her. If she was even alive…

"Sit down," Officer O'Hearn instructed him. He grabbed Nathan's right wrist and cuffed him to the chair. He walked away and joined Officer Stebbins over by the coffee machine. Nathan watched the two officers whispering and making their coffee and began to wonder if either was on Mr. West's payroll. Heck, they both probably were.

Nathan began to think about life in prison. He was sure that the West's probably had people in jail as well, and if their hit on him didn't get carried out while he wasn't in jail, then it probably would on the inside. But, what if it didn't? What if he actually had to spend the rest of his life in jail? He had heard stories and felt sick to his stomach as he thought about how the rest of his life would turn out. The things that would happen to someone like him in jail; a rich white jock, a pretty-boy, an enemy of the West's. Nathan shuddered at these thoughts.

Officers O'Hearn and Stebbins set their coffee mugs down and straightened up as they headed towards the front counter. Nathan twitched around in his seat, trying to get a look at who had just come in.

It was his father. Dan was accompanied by two men, both wearing expensive business suits and carrying briefcases.

"Nathan! Son, don't say another word!" Dan called out as he spotted him. Nathan turned back around, not wanting to look at his father.

"I'm Attorney Andrew Harthgrove and I'll be representing Nathan Scott. I trust that you boys are familiar with the Miranda rights and I hope you know any information you've gathered from my client is inadmissible without my presence. Now, I'd like to see my client-"

"He's eighteen, Mr. Hargrove, and with all due respect, he waved his right to an attorney. Thanks, for reminding us southern folks about those Miranda things," Officer Stebbins said sarcastically.

"I hope you southerners do things by the book then, because I have Nathan's father's permission to speak with his son."

"Who's this?" Officer O'Hearn asked pointing at the second lawyer. "You have two lawyers here for a kid who doesn't even want one!"

"That's my lawyer," Dan answered stone-faced.

"I'm Attorney Steven Williams and I'll be representing Mayor Dan Scott."

The two officers looked at each other and snickered. "Representing him for what?" Officer Stebbins asked. "Being the father of a murderer?"

Suddenly, silence filled the air and everyone, including Nathan, turned and looked at Dan Scott, the Mayor of Tree Hill, who was pale-faced as he stoically stared down the two officers. It was one of those times that everyone in the room knew something big was about to happen. They all waited with bated breaths.

"I'm here to confess to a murder," Dan said coldly.

At once, Nathan felt the air leave his lungs. What exactly had his father done?

* * *

Haley felt like her body was floating. For a long time darkness surrounded her, until beautiful sounds began to fill the air, bringing her a sense of peace. She tried to listen more closely; tried to follow the sound, but it was difficult. Things went on this way for a long time until she finally began to see some shadows in the distance. Then, when she felt her feet on the ground, she moved towards the shadows and the sound became louder. It was music. In fact, it was Tchaikovsky's _Romeo and Juliet Overture_. This was a piece she had tried in vain to master on the piano. She had just about had it down before she quit her piano lessons for good. She regretted quitting as she moved towards the euphonious sounds that filled her being. She would give anything to play that piece to perfection, as she heard it now. It was magical, and the closer she got to the source of the sound, the more she felt that floating feeling again.

As Haley walked towards the light, she saw a little girl on stage playing the piano. Haley looked around some more and saw that this looked like a piano recital. Then, inexplicably, Haley found herself on the stage, right beside the little girl. Haley began to panic, unsure of why she was there, and not wanting to interrupt this incredible performance. She tried to leave, but couldn't. She looked around, sure that people must be gawking at her. To her surprise, she saw that no one even seemed to notice she was there. It was as if she was invisible.

Then, a couple of rows back, she spotted them.

There was her family. Her eyes scanned the row and saw all of them, with the exception of her sister, Vivian. Things then began to click for Haley. She looked off to stage right, just behind the curtains and saw her sister beaming as she watched the little girl play. Haley looked back at her family and, now knowing what to look for, she saw the Scotts-Dan, Deb, Rachel and Nathan- seated in the row behind her family. Haley took a deep breath and looked again at the little girl.

_It was her_. This was the piano recital she had when she was eight years old. Vivian was there to coach her and her family and friends were there to watch. It was just a couple of weeks before the night that changed her life. It was the last time she remembered feeling a true sense of peace. She had no worries and a childlike sense of innocence about the world. It was so far from where she found herself now. Haley closed her eyes, letting the sounds fill her body. When she opened them, she found herself sitting at the piano, her hands stroking the keys effortlessly as sound radiated from the piano. This went on for a few minutes until panic resumed Haley's body.

None of this made sense. Haley wasn't eight anymore. This wasn't the piece she had performed at the recital. She hadn't even attempted Tchaikovsky's piece until she was older. Even then, she had never learn to play it as it sounded now; a flawless masterpiece. Then there was her family. Instead of being the ages they were at the recital, they all appeared as they did today. Her eyes scanned back for the person she wanted to see the most. Now, the seat was empty.

Emptiness and coldness filled Haley and the music stopped and the darkness returned. She felt lost and alone as she tried to figure out where he went. Luckily, it wasn't this way for long. Shortly later, she found what she was looking for.

She only felt his presence at first. She tried hard to see him, but found it impossible. There was just too much darkness and no source of light. Haley gave up trying to see and just took in his energy. Calmness swept over her as she relaxed. He was there with her; she was sure of it.

Next, she heard his voice. It was a sound even more beautiful to her ears than the music. She tried to make out what he was saying, but her mind couldn't process it. When she felt the touch of his hand on hers, a jolt rushed through her body. She now found herself starting to understand his emotions.

She felt his shame and regret. She felt his sorrow. She felt his heartbreak. Then, her spirits lifted when the energy in the air began to change. The cold lifted and warmness filled the room. She felt his love.

Then she began to understand his words. He was telling her he loved her. That he would never stop loving her. He needed her. He wanted her back. He couldn't live without her.

He wanted something from her. She couldn't tell exactly what it was. This frustrated Haley. She wanted to give him whatever it was he was asking for. She wanted to reciprocate the feeling of love he had just given to her.

Haley tried to speak, but no words would come out. She could feel her tongue at the roof of her mouth and her teeth clenched together, but as she tried to move her lips, sharp pains filled her. The pain was unbelievably intense. Haley lost track of her surroundings as she waited for the pain to go away.

When it did, she felt another change in the air. He was tense. He told her he had to leave. He didn't want to, but he had to. He told her to fight to come back. That he'd always be there, even if she couldn't see him. _Always and forever_.

What did that mean? Where was he going? Why was he leaving? Why wouldn't she be able to see him? What about her? What about what she needed? She needed him to stay! She couldn't live without him! She needed to tell him that.

The most tangible connection she had right now was his hand. Haley focused all her energy on her fingers. Relief came over her as she felt them move! She held on to his hand even harder. Next, she focused on seeing. It was as if there were heavy weights over her eyelids, but feeling an adrenaline rush from moving her fingers, she refocused and slowly images began to appear. She tried to focus what she was seeing, but nothing was making sense. She could barely see anything from her right eye, but even with her left eye wide open, she was confused.

Nathan had his back to her, with his hand extending behind him, clasped over hers. He was wearing Lucas' sweatshirt. Her mom was tugging at her dad's shoulder. Her father was yelling, her mother was crying and Nathan….he was standing motionless as he looked at the two of them. No one was looking at her. Again, it was as if she was invisible. None of this was making any sense to her. She tried again to speak, but no words came out.

Was she even there? Could they see her? Was she dreaming? Was she even alive?

Haley refocused when she felt Nathan trying to let go of her hand. Haley tried her best to curl her fingers and for a second…a brief second…Nathan turned around and looked at her hand…He felt her. Then the yelling resumed and Haley felt the sharp pains return as she tried to yell at them to stop. She just wanted it all to stop.

Haley didn't want to listen to this. She didn't want to see all of this. She wanted to hear the music again. She wanted to be the one playing the piano again and get lost in the beauty of the music. She wanted the peace again.

Most of all, she wanted to feel Nathan again. She wanted to feel his love. Hear his voice. But he was gone. She felt it in her heart.

The darkness was back and so was the emptiness and coldness. She was back to being lost and looking for the music and the light.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Forever and Ever Amen" (8mm)

AN: I posted this a little later than I intended. Every time I read it, I found a mistake! Ugh! Sorry for any typos still there. I was anxious to get this posted!

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed! I am aiming for posting the next chapter tomorrow.


	43. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 42: "Forever and Ever Amen" (8mm)

"Uh, Mayor Scott, see the thing is, your son has already confessed to beating the West boy and we have evidence that links him to the James girl—" Officer Stebbins began to explain uneasily.

"This is isn't about them. This murder happened about eight years ago. It's the reason I became involved with the West family and the reason they've been blackmailing me," Dan explained. "It's also the reason my son's life is in danger."

"We have reason to believe the FBI has a file on the West family," Attorney Williams said. "My client is interested in working with them—"

"Whoa, whoa," Officer Stebbins said, shifting his hands to his waist. "There's no reason to get the FBI involved in anything. I'm sure we can work this all out ourselves. Why don't we head back to the interrogation room?"

"I guess we know who's on the West payroll in this place," Dan said snidely. "Listen to me, you no-good, two-timing, small town pig, if you don't get the FBI in here, I'm going to go to the press and with the things I have to tell them, I'm sure your family won't be the only one that's disgraced!" Dan yelled loudly as he looked around the room. Several people looked away guiltily.

Officer O'Hearn walked back over to a desk where Nathan was sitting and began flipping through a rolodex. Officer Stebbins was hot on his heels.

"What do you think you're doing?" Officer Stebbins asked sharply.

"Look, Dicky, my career is just beginning and yours…well,…it's just not the same you see. I'm making the call," Officer O'Hearn said as he pulled out a card. Officer Stebbins proceeded to storm away, just as the young officer picked up the phone.

* * *

Nathan reluctantly sat down next to Mr. Hargrove. He had to admit that there was something about this guy. He was calm, cool, confident as hell, and really seemed to know his stuff. Somehow, he had managed to convince Officer O'Hearn to hold off on booking him and to throw out everything that came from his interrogation. Now, they were back in the interrogation room with his father and the other attorney. They all sat around silently waiting for Officer O'Hearn to return.

They all looked up as Officer O'Hearn entered the room, followed by a man who looked slightly older than him. Unlike the officer, he wasn't dressed in uniform. Instead, he was wearing a collared dress shirt and pants and was caring files and a yellow legal pad. "This is Detective Whitman," Officer O'Hearn said offering introductions.

Det. Whitman nodded at them, sat down and flipped out his pad. He clicked his pen and looked up expectantly at them. "So, the FBI is on its way in, but I'd thought we could get started."

"Remember, say nothing, Nate. Let your father do all the talking," Attorney Hargrove whispered in his ear. "My client has nothing to say at the moment," he announced to the officers.

"My client," Mr. Williams began, "only wishes to discuss the murder at this time. We want to wait to discuss all the West's dealings with the FBI." His father's attorney then turned and looked directly at him. "Nathan, I believe your father wants you to stay and hear this from him."

Nathan met his father eyes. Like many times in his life, he couldn't read him. His father had always been a mystery to him. The only time he saw any type of emotion from him growing up was when he was talking about basketball or when he was angry with him, and usually the two went hand and hand. That's why he had so much trouble trusting him, like when he got emotional with him after the state championship. None of this made sense to him. Now, as his father sat across from him with an indifferent expression, Nathan was just as confused as ever.

Dan cleared his throat and looked at the detective. He spoke slowly and clearly. "My daughter, Rachel, was raped at the age of eight by a man from Texas, Joe Grafton. When I found out about this, I took the matter into my own hands. I knew of the connections that the West family had and David West put me in touch with a man by the name of Daunte Jones. Daunte and his associate, someone he called 'Bear,' I never knew his real name, found the guy. I guess he was hiding out with his girlfriend somewhere close by. They were supposed to take care of him for me, but instead, they called me to come meet them. They had brought him to Tree Hill and were holding him in the back of a warehouse. Once I got there, I learned that in the process of taking Joe, there was an accident. Apparently in the scuffle, Joe's girlfriend, my children's former nanny, Carrie, was killed. They told me that Joe shot her in a fit of rage, but I'm not sure I believe that. In any event, Carrie was dead. To this day, I'm not sure how that happened. All I know is that they had to clean up her body and they called me in to deal with Joe. In the end, I was happy to do it. I looked into that man's eyes, the man who took away the innocence from my little girl, and I shot him. Three times." Dan looked at his son with conviction and said, "And I don't regret it. I was just taking care of my family."

Nathan swallowed hard as he tried to process this news. This was something he had never once anticipated. In a way, he felt like his whole life had been a lie. Who was his father? After hearing this revelation, he still wasn't sure. The only thing he knew was that his father was not the man he thought he was. Nathan though of what happened with Haley, his own reaction to Damien and his immediate need for vengeance. Maybe he was more like his father than he wanted to admit. Then, what did that make him? Was he capable of shooting someone in cold-blood like that? Probably, considering he had practically beaten Damien to death. These thoughts began to haunt Nathan as he sat and listened to the detective begin to question his father. All the while, Nathan found himself unable to meet his father's eyes. They reminded them too much of his own.

* * *

Two hours later, two agents from the FBI arrived to talk to Dan. As they entered the room, Nathan was instructed to continue to keep quiet as the two attorneys conferred with his father and the local officers. Minutes later, Mr. Hargrove led him out of the room and had him go sit on the bench outside, while he went back in the room.

By this point, Nathan was back to being numb again. Even though he hadn't uttered a word in a couple of hours, he was emotionally drained. He listened to his father being questioned, watched him painstakingly write out all the details of his confession, and then they all waited in an uncomfortable silence for the FBI to arrive. He still was no closer to having any answers as to how he felt about his father.

When Mr. Hargrove left the interrogation room fifteen minutes later, he took a seat next to Nathan on the bench.

"They're letting you go, kid, for now, anyway. It seems your dad has some real gems to offer them and those FBI guys are far more interested in that. This is going to tie up both them and the Tree Hill police. It won't last though and then they'll be back for you."

"Great," Nathan said dryly.

"The good news is now that the FBI is involved the police are going to make sure they are doing the investigation by the books."

Nathan just shrugged. He still didn't have much faith the Tree Hill police.

"So, you want to get something to eat?" Mr. Hargrove asked.

"I'm not hungry."

"Okay…Well, we need to talk, too. So it's either eat and talk or just talk. Take your pick."

"I'm not up for either right now."

"Nathan, you and I are going to be getting close, whether you like it or not. I'm going to be your best friend. For the next few months, I'm going to be the first person you talk to when you wake up in the morning and the last person you talk to before you go to bed at night. You aren't going to go to the bathroom or even sneeze without me knowing about it; that's how close we're going to be. I'm the best out there, and like him or not right now, your father wanted the best for you. Don't get me wrong, Steve is good, better than good, but I'm the best and _we are going to get you out of this thing_."

Nathan looked at his attorney. The guy was good. He was persuasive as hell, and if Nathan didn't know his own situation any better and just how bleak things really were, he might have believed him. At least for the first time all day, Nathan had to admit he actually didn't feel like dying. Maybe it was hearing the truth from his father or maybe it was this attorney who was promising him things he didn't think were possible. Whatever it was, Nathan no longer wanted to find the first bridge and jump off of it. Maybe he could just see how things all played out.

"I guess we'll see about that, Mr. Hargrove. The thing is, I really just want to get out of here right now. Can we just talk to tomorrow?" Nathan asked with a sigh.

"Fine, but I'm an early riser. I want to meet at 8 a.m. Now, as for tonight, you're going with your Uncle Keith—"

"What? What about my mom?"

"I think you're sister has to go back to rehab and your mom is going to stay close to her there in Charlotte. You're dad thinks they'll be safer if they're not in Tree Hill. You, on the other hand," he said patting Nathan on the back, "have to stay in Tree Hill."

"I get that, but I really don't think my dad will want me staying with my uncle," Nathan pointed out.

"It was his idea," Attorney Hargrove said to a stunned Nathan. "I'll drive you to his place." He stood up and grabbed his briefcase. "Oh, and by the way, call me Andy. Now, let's go."

* * *

"Nathan," whispered a soft voice.

Nathan looked up to see Karen peering through the slightly ajar door to Lucas' room where he was set up on an air mattress at the foot of Lucas' bed. He sat up at the sound of her voice. It wasn't like he had been sleeping anyway.

"Get up," whispered Karen.

Not wanting to wake Lucas, Nathan complied and the two of them walked out into the living room.

"Are you leaving now?" Nathan asked as he looked at the clock and saw it was four a.m. He knew that Karen was planning on taking Lily and heading to his grandparent's house for a few days. She had claimed it was because she was overdue for a visit, but he knew better. This was just another fallout from his mistakes and the result of fear of retaliation from the West's.

"No," Karen said as she looked at him with serious eyes. "Nathan," she said putting her hand on his shoulder, "I'm taking you to see Haley."

Nathan shook his head emphatically. When he got to his aunt and uncle's house that night, he had found out the Haley was alive, but in surgery. He didn't ask for what kind of surgery; he really didn't want to know. Then, just when Lucas got into bed, he had quietly told him that Haley was out of surgery and in stable condition. Her injuries were not life-threatening and now they were just waiting for her to wake up.

"Nathan," Karen continued with a soft, but stern tone, "this is what needs to be done. You have to face this. I'm going to be there with you."

"I can't," Nathan said meeting her eyes. "You didn't see her dad! He won't let me anywhere near her, not that I should be anyway!"

"He's not there. Lydia just called me. She wants you there, Nathan. She thinks Haley really needs to hear your voice."

"No, she doesn't. That's the last thing she needs," Nathan muttered, as he looked at his feet.

"Well," Karen said sharply, "it doesn't matter what you think. This is what Lydia wants and right now we're in no position to second guess her mother's instinct. We're going, Nathan, so get dressed."

"Fine," Nathan grumbled as he headed back to Lucas' room. He threw on the sweatshirt Lucas had given him earlier, a grey hoodie advertising Keith's Body Shop, and a pair of gym pants. He still hadn't even had a chance to get to his house yet to get his own clothes.

When he met Karen in the kitchen and he took a moment and tried to summon his inner courage. He honestly felt like this might be the hardest thing he might ever have to do in his life.

"Aunt Karen," Nathan said hoarsely, as a lump formed in his throat. "I-I…" Nathan tried to find the words to express how he was feeling, how hard this was going to be for him, but he found none.

Karen held out her arms for him. "I know."

The two of them embraced both spilling tears as they prepared for what was to come.

* * *

"Why don't you head to chapel?" Karen suggested once they reached the hospital. "I'll go tell Lydia you're here."

"Okay."

Nathan entered the chapel and took a seat on one of the pews. He looked up at the altar and felt uneasy. He wasn't a religious person and didn't feel like he had the right to ask for anything. He had only been to church with his family on holidays and even that practice stopped at an early age. In fact, it was the James family that went to church most Sundays and if he had to guess, he had probably been to church with them more than with his own family.

But he wasn't there for himself. He was there for Haley. He did believe in a higher being, the God he had heard so much about, and he felt in his heart that if he made an appeal to him on behalf of Haley, that this God might be willing to listen.

Nathan looked up the altar with desperation.

"I know I've done some horrible things, okay?...But I deserve to be punished for that, not Haley…She's a good person," Nathan said with strong conviction. "Look, I know how it must suck how people are always asking for things…and they're never giving anything back. It's just that Haley's saved _me_ so many times…and you know I don't deserve it….There has to be miracle left for her.…Please," Nathan begged from the bottom of his heart. "Please," Nathan found himself pleading again with every fiber of his being. "Don't take her from me…I just need her to be here…Even if we can't…" Nathan's words trailed off as he was overcome with emotions as he rested his head in his hands.

"Nathan," Lydia said softly as she took a seat next to Nathan.

Nathan sat there and remained very still as she put her hand on his back and began rubbing it.

"I need you, Nathan. Haley needs you."

Nathan looked up and saw the desperation in Lydia's eyes. That look in her eyes was far worse than when her own mother died. He immediately felt compelled to try and comfort her, but held himself back. He didn't understand how she didn't hate him. She should hate him after all; it was Jimmy that had it right. "I don't know how you can say that."

"I just know it, Nathan. I feel it. I need you to go in there and talk to her. I want her to hear your voice," Lydia said with tears in her eyes.

"Is she awake?" Nathan asked cautiously.

"No. They put her in a medically induced coma. She had some swelling in her brain, but it's gone down. She's out of the danger zone with that. They also had to reset her jaw and wire it shut so it can heal properly. Now, they're just waiting for the swelling on her right knee to go down and then she'll probably need surgery on that too. There's more but—"

Nathan put his hands to his head and began shaking it. "I tried, Mrs. James. I really did. It's no excuse, I know. It should be me in there. It was me that Damien was after all along! It was all my fault. I'll never forgive myself—"

"Shhh….There's no time for that now. Look, I'm sorry Jimmy came at you like that, but we didn't know all the facts then, not that I ever doubted you. Still, Haley should have come out of that coma now and she hasn't." Lydia looked at Nathan expectantly. "I need you to talk to her. I need you to give her a reason to wake up. I know you can do it."

"I really don't think I can."

"I know you can," Lydia repeated unwavering. "Just try it. For me? She's in room 101."

Nathan slowly nodded, not being able to resist the pleas of the woman who meant so much to him. In a way, it also helped that Haley wouldn't be awake. The thought of looking into her eyes was just unbearable. He stood up and prepared to exit the chapel.

"Hey, Mrs. James? What's that music playing?" Nathan couldn't help but asked before he left. It was something that had been nagging at the back of his mind ever since he walked into the chapel.

"What music?" Lydia asked confused.

"It kind of sounds like something Haley used to play on the piano," Nathan said, surprised at his own words. He wasn't even sure where that came from.

"I don't hear any music, Nathan," Lydia said softly.

"Oh," Nathan said embarrassed. He figured he must really be losing it. He turned around and continued toward the exit.

"Nathan?" Lydia called to him.

"Yeah?"

"Don't you go and say anything stupid. I want you to give her a reason to wake up; a reason to fight. You stay positive with my baby girl, you understand?" Lydia instructed him severely.

Nathan nodded again, still struck at how much strength Lydia had. He tried to embody that strength as he headed towards Haley's room.

* * *

Nathan opened the doors to Haley's room and found Karen sitting by her side. Nathan's eyes remained fixed on Karen as he found himself suddenly not ready to face things yet. Although Lydia was clearly looking out for her daughter, she had put an incredible amount of pressure on him and the sound of the heart monitor alone was enough to make his strength waver.

Karen walked over and gently guided him towards Haley's side. He still couldn't bring himself to look at her. "I'll be just outside," Karen said softly.

Nathan took a seat in the chair and looked down at his hands. Seconds later he heard the shutting of the door. This was it. He was alone with Haley and still unsure what to do.

After a minute, Nathan began to look around the room, at first focusing on everything but Haley herself.

There was a painting on the wall of some boats at sea, a huge set of windows with the shades pulled down and a tv that was fixed to the corner of the ceiling. On the stand next to Haley's bed, there lied a pink water pitcher, some plastic cups, some tissues, a small plastic bag, and some type of basin. Next to the bed, there was an IV machine that housed two drip bags, a heart and blood pressure monitor and one other machine that didn't look like it was hooked up to anything.

Nathan took a deep breath and brought his eyes to Haley, starting at the bottom of the bed. Her right leg was wrapped in gauze around the knee area and was suspended in the air. Her knee looked three times the size of what it should have been. Her left knee was wrapped as well, but looked much better. His eyes traveled further up and saw that Haley was wearing a hospital gurney. There was a blanket over her waist and her hands, which were lying on top of the blanket, were bruised. The bruises continued up her arms, along with a bandage on her left forearm that had a bloodstain.

Nathan braced himself as he went to look at her face. An audible gasp escaped his lips, followed by a small sob, as he looked at her barely recognizable face. She had a bandaged wrapped around her head, a strap under her chin of her clenched jaw, and her swollen lips appeared to be sealed shut. There were breathing wires in her nose and her right eye was still severely swollen and its surrounding area had a deep blue and black hue. There were also several red gashes across her face. Not only that, but this sleeping Haley did not look peaceful. Her facial expression was that of anguish and pain.

Nathan wiped the tears from his eyes and took Haley's hand in both of his. He stroked her fingers and quickly saw that her pinky ring, the ring that symbolized so much to both of them was missing. He then remembered seeing the small plastic bag on nightstand and figured they must have removed it when they she was admitted. He looked at it and found that the bag contained Haley's earrings and the ring. Nathan took out the ring and held it in his fingers. Without thinking too much about it, he took Haley's hand and put the ring back on her finger.

The words then started pouring out of him as he held her hand, clasped in both of his, as he looked at her face.

"I am so sorry, Haley. You have to know how sorry I am. I need you to know that. I need you know how wrong I was, how much I regret everything…how I wish things were different. I wish…" Nathan trailed off as he realized that this train of thoughts was exactly what Lydia had warned him about. She was right. Haley didn't need his negativity. Nathan took a moment and regrouped, focusing on his words before he said them.

"Hey, baby. Know how you're always telling me you're not going anywhere? Well, I need to hold you to that right now, okay? Just…I need you to come back to me. Listen…just,…move one of your fingers, if you can hear me, okay? Just move one of those beautiful fingers and let me know that you're still here with me."

Nathan looked closely at her fingers for a minute. Nothing moved. He waited another minute. Still nothing.

He summoned the last bit of courage he had.

"Hales,…I love you so much, okay? So much. I mean, always and forever, right? You need to come back because…there are so many things you have to do. You need to get your license…you've practiced so hard for that…and you need to start playing the piano again…those kids that you tutor—they're going to need you, especially at final's time…then you're going to go to Stanford and you're going be a teacher…but that's not it, Haley. _I need you_. I need you now…._I can't live without you. I just can't_." Nathan's voice croaked out the last words and then he thought that maybe he needed to be a bit more forceful. He needed to push Haley. He wanted her to hear how serious he was. "I need you here, on _this planet_, _with me_," Nathan said firmly. "So, wake up, Haley! Open your eyes! Move your fingers or talk to me, baby! Let me know you're with me on this. Let me know you hear me. We all need you, Haley…your mom, your dad, your brothers and sisters, Rachel, Lucas, and me. God, I need to hear you…" Nathan searched her hands, her lips, her eyes and saw nothing.

There was no mistaking it. In every imaginable way, he had failed her. He picked up her hand and slowly took the ring off her finger. He held it in his hand and stood up to put it back in the bag. Out of the corner of his eye, saw a movement outside the hospital room door. He shoved the ring into his pocket and peered through the glass panel.

It was Jimmy and he was yelling.

Nathan tensed up and went back to Haley. He took one final look at her and grabbed her hand. He laid a single kiss on it and then dropped it back down. He went to let go and realized he wasn't ready. This would undoubtedly be his last time alone with her and he wanted it to last as long as possible.

"I have to leave, Haley, but that doesn't mean I want to. I…I just have to. I won't get to see you again, but I meant everything I said. Keep fighting. Come back to us. I'll always love you and I'll always be with you, even if you don't know it. You're it for me. My always and forever."

Jimmy pushed open the doors to the room with great force. Lydia was just behind him and he could see Karen out in the hallway. Nathan squeezed Haley's hand and turned to face Jimmy.

"GET OUT!" Jimmy's voice echoed through the room. "I mean it! I never want you near my daughter again! You understand this? You are the reason, she's there!" Jimmy pointed at Haley, but his eyes, remained fixed on Nathan.

"Don't Jimmy!" Lydia sobbed as she tugged at her husband's shoulders. "He saved her, Jimmy, he did—"

"He let that happened to her! Nathan, if we ever meant anything to you, if you feel one ounce of remorse in that manipulative, cold body of yours, you leave now and never come back! My daughter is better off without you!"

Nathan grip on Haley's hand loosened as he decided it was time to leave. Just then, Nathan swore he felt movement from Haley's hand. His eyes involuntary darted back to her.

"Don't look at her!" Jimmy screamed starling both Nathan and Lydia. Don't look at my baby girl! You have no right! No right to be here! Did you hear me? You mean nothing to her and this family! I'm sorry I ever welcomed you into our home!"

Nathan couldn't take it anymore. He let go of Haley's hand and flew out the doors, nearly knocking over Karen. He walked down the hall, towards the main entrance and heard both Karen and Lydia calling out for him, but he didn't stop. Instead, Nathan just picked up speed.

Just as he reached the main lobby, he saw Andy, dressed in his full business attire, headed towards him.

"What did I tell you, Nathan?" Andy barked at him.

"I don't need this right now!" Nathan shouted.

"Nathan!" Lydia cried out breathlessly as she reached him. "I need to talk to you. Please, don't leave like this…Please, don't."

Nathan slowly turned around and faced Lydia. "I'm sorry, Mrs. James. I just couldn't do it. I tried, but he's right."

"No, he's—"

"He's right," Nathan said stoically. "And even if he's not, then I'm a selfish bastard for thinking I was ever good enough for her. She doesn't need me in her life." With that, Nathan turned back around and walked out the main entrance, leaving a sobbing Lydia crying in Karen's arms.

"Guess, I'll be driving you," Andy said, hot on his heels. "Listen, I mean it Nathan; you can't be seeing Haley—"

"You won't have to worry about that anymore," Nathan said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"That's what I thought before, but then I hear you're here—"

"How did you know?"

"I told you, Nathan. I'm all over you're every move. Every sneeze, every—"

"I remember," Nathan growled.

They reached Andy's car and the two of them got inside. "Just tell me, why you came," Andy asked just after he started the car.

"Her mom asked."

"Hmmm," Andy said processing this news. "Lydia James? The blond one?" Nathan nodded his head in confirmation. "Interesting," he mused. "Tell me,…if she asked you to come again, would you?"

"No, I'm done. I'm just not strong enough. I can't deal with it."

"Good, I guess. Okay, so tell me about your relationship with Lydia James…"

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Heartbeats" (Josè Gonzàlez)

AN: I am very interested to hear what you think about Dan, mostly because I don't know what to think myself. Nathan is confused now, but I know how he will end up feeling about his father and it will play a pivotal role far off into the future of the story. Still, I'd love to hear your take on Dan since personally, I am torn.

Busy day tomorrow (Sunday), so if I don't post the next chapter then, it will be posted on Monday. Please don't feel obligated to review such short chapters. If the story is too depressing for you right now, also just let me know and I will pm you when it starts to get better.

I truly appreciate all the pm's, alerts, favorites and reviews. Thank you for all of them. I write this story for myself, but knowing it is being read brings the story to life and that is something that brings me great joy. As long as people are reading, I will keep posting what I write. Right now, I am working on "part two" as well as editing the rest of "part one."


	44. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 43: "Heartbeats" (Josè Gonzàlez)

By now, Haley knew she wasn't dead. The pain she felt each time she was awake was enough to convince her of that. It was enough to make her want to sleep all the time. So, that's what she did. It's not like was able to do much else anyway.

It didn't take her long to realize she couldn't talk. That was just another reason to want to sleep. After listening to the doctor's explain her injuries, she knew her jaw was wired shut for at least six to eight weeks and her right knee had been reconstructed, complete with a few screws and pieces of metal. She also had some fractures in her legs, broken ribs, a collapsed lung and some internal bleeding. Then there supposedly some head trauma that they were still unsure about. Haley wasn't sure what that meant, but it wasn't like she could communicate with them anyway.

Each time she opened her eyes it seemed like there were different people in the room. _None of them were the one she was looking for._ Each time, she closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, hoping the next time she woke up, it would be different. _But it wasn't._

She thought of Nathan and the last clear image she had of him. Why was he wearing Lucas' sweatshirt? Why couldn't he hear her when she could hear him? Why were her parents so upset?

Haley figured that she must have been dreaming. The image she had seen wasn't real. She had either imagined it, or maybe he had come to her in some type of spiritual way, willing her fight as he explained that he needed to leave. That was the final message she had been left with.

Then there were the framed pictures that were scattered around the room. Haley had scanned them several times. There were four on the stand next to her bed and three within reach on the shelve next to the windows. There were also some further down that she could see, but were out of her reach. None of them included Nathan.

So Haley had become convinced Nathan that was dead. It was the only logical thing that would explain why he wasn't there…why no one spoke his name…why there were no pictures of him.

She had tried to speak a couple of times during her brief states of consciousness. The doctors had explained that it was possible, but that it would take time to learn how to use your mouth in a new way. Even then, people would probably have trouble understanding her, but over time, they would learn her new speech pattern and she would improve. So they had recommended she start trying. So Haley complied, each time just focusing on one word; the most important word. The one that was haunting her as she tried to figure what happened to him.

_Nathan._

At first, Haley thought they couldn't understand her. Then, when Lucas and Brooke visited, Brooke's eyes gave her away. As Haley slowly gritted out his name, she saw the way Brooke nervously looked at Lucas. This all but confirmed her worst fears and the idea that everyone was ignoring her. Still, she wanted to hear it from someone; anyone. So, she went back to sleep and waited for the new set of visitors and hoped the next ones would be brave enough to tell her the truth.

When Haley's eyes opened to find Rachel at her bedside, she finally found someone worth staying awake for; someone worth feeling the pain for. Surely, Rachel would be the one to give her some answers.

When she looked deep into Rachel's eyes, that's when the flashes came back. Haley saw Damien. Then she heard him. Then she felt him. It all came back to her. He had tried to rape her. He had beaten her with a bat. She winced and threw her arms up to protect herself as if it was happening to her again. Then Haley felt Rachel's hand on her arm and calmed down.

"It's okay, Haley. It's over. I'm here. Open your eyes and see."

Haley opened her eyes and this time she was comforted. It was as if for the first time she understood what Rachel had been through as a child. She felt it all; the fear, the shame, the dirtiness, and the anger that came from being attacked in that way. It was all there in both Rachel's eyes and her own. Haley and Rachel bonded in that hospital room, as Rachel comforted Haley as she had done for her for so many years. Rachel whispered words of encouragement into Haley's ears. She held her hand and stroked her hair. Then they cried together, as they each thought of their own and each other's experiences. For the first time, Haley felt like she didn't need words to communicate. Rachel understood her pain and in an instant, Haley knew how much she was going to need Rachel in her life. From Rachel was telling her, she was going to be there for her. That gave her a small amount of comfort.

Haley's thoughts traveled to the other person that she didn't need words to communicate with. She began to wildly gesture at Rachel and to her relief, Rachel, unlike so many others, seemed to understand what she wanted. She reached into her purse, pulled out a pen, and looked around and found a scrap piece of paper for Haley to write on.

Finally! All along, Haley couldn't understand why no one would let her write! She was beginning to think maybe it was the head trauma the doctors seemed worried about. Maybe she had just thought her demands were easy to understand, when in reality, no one could figure them out.

Haley took the pen and paper. It didn't take her long to write what she wanted.

_Nathan?_

Rachel looked at the paper and sighed and shook her head. She looked up at Haley. What was that expression on her face? Disappointment? Sadness? Hurt? Haley gestured for her to speak. "I don't know what to tell you, Hales."

Rachel got up and walked over to the door. She opened it and pointed at someone. A minute later, Haley saw her father joining Rachel at the door as Rachel showed him the paper. They were whispering, but Haley could still hear them.

"I don't know what to tell her," Rachel said.

"I didn't want to have to tell her anything," Jimmy sighed. "Not yet anyway."

"I shouldn't have given her the paper. I thought….I thought she wanted to tell me something."

"She needs to heal, Rachel. We all do. Let me handle this. Say your goodbye."

Rachel nodded and went back over to Haley. "I have to go, Haley. I'm just home for the day. I'll be back soon, though, okay? Just know I'm here for you and I'm thinking about you." Rachel gave her a kiss on the cheek and squeezed her hand.

Haley glared at Rachel. How could she leave her like that? She knew what Haley wanted. She knew what Haley needed to hear and yet…she was just leaving! Anger filled Haley's body as the one person left who seemed to understand her, who looked like they really wanted to help her, prepared to leave her hanging just like everyone else. She just couldn't take it anymore!

Haley reached over and picked up the framed picture of her and Rachel that read "best friends" at the top. She furiously chucked it across the room and watched as the glass shattered at her father's feet. Next, Haley picked up the remaining two frames and threw those as hard as she could. They flew clear across the room and smashed into pieces, causing shards of glass to fly all over the place. Not done, Haley used her arm to violently sweep across the frames on the shelve window, knocking them all to the ground.

The heart monitor was beeping rapidly and she was screaming in agony, but not just from the pain in her clenched jaw, but also from the aching in her heart. Two nurses rushed in the room and pushed some buttons on one of the IV drip machines.

Numbness filled Haley, followed by darkness.

* * *

"Hey," Nathan said slowly as Rachel appeared in his doorway.

Rachel took a seat on Nathan's bed and looked at him with weary eyes. "Hey," she sighed.

Nathan leaned against the desk in his room and decided against asking her what he really wanted to know about. Instead, he would focus on more easy things to talk about. "So, thanks all your help, Rach. You really helped me out with what you told the police."

"It was just the truth, Nathan. At first I don't think they believed me, they thought I was just covering for you, but then Andy brought up the 9-1-1 tape from when I called and that seemed to help confirm my story. I mean, I clearly said when I called it was all Damien…"

"Yeah, Andy said it was really you that saved my ass. I won't forget that."

"Does he think you'll be all set now? I hear the West's have hired some sharks for lawyers now that Damien is awake and able to be charged."

"Andy saws they'll probably try to pin it all on me in their defense, but as long as the prosecution isn't going to charge me with anything, which is what it sounds like is going to happen, I'll be fine." Nathan shook his head as he looked at his sister. He felt like in a way, all the tables were turned. Whereas for so many years, he and Haley had been the strong ones, the ones to who tried to really be there for Rachel, now it was his sister that was the source of strength both of them. He honestly didn't know how that happened considering that Rachel had been there for Damien's attack too and surely that must have opened up some old wounds. On the other hand, Rachel was still in her treatment program and was probably benefitting from daily therapy sessions. Whatever was going on there must have been helping, because as far as he had seen, Rachel had been like a rock. Still, this all wasn't over by a long shot for either of them. "I'll have to testify, you know, and so will you. I mean, if you want to."

"Of course I am, Nathan! I want that bastard and his family to pay!" Rachel then looked closely at Nathan. "I heard about dad…what he did…"

"Did you talk to him?" Nathan asked curiously.

"No. Did you? Have you heard anything?"

"No. He hasn't called. I tried to visit him, but he wouldn't see me. Andy says he will get immunity for all the dirty shit he's done since he's testifying against the West's and working with the FBI, but they're going to still charge him with the murder of Joe."

"So you think he'll go to jail?" Rachel asked nervously.

"I don't know. Depends out what kind of deal he works out. He doesn't want a trial. How are out dealing with this all, Rach? I mean, I'm confused as hell and I can't imagine what you're going through."

Rachel shrugged and shook her head. "I guess I just wish I knew. I mean, I finally feel like I can put this behind me now. I always thought there was a possibility he could come back. I never knew…I'm happy he did it, Nathan," Rachel softly declared. "Aren't you?"

Nathan walked over to the window and began looking out. "I don't know," he admitted.

After a minute of silence, Rachel spoke up. "I'm headed back soon, so…" Rachel paused and then prodded him. "Nathan…"

Nathan turned around knowing full well what Rachel wanted to talk to him about it. "How was she?"

"She was asking for you. I guess she asks about you all the time. No one knows what to say."

"There's nothing I can do, Rach!" Nathan said defensively. "Her dad—"

"I know, but you know, Haley, Nathan. She's so damn stubborn! She's not going to give up."

"She will. She has to," Nathan said convincingly.

"Look, Nathan, here's the thing. I really want to help Haley and I think I can. We kind of had a moment and…we now share something horrible…and…I just really want to be there for her, you know?"

"Then be there. I'm not going to stop you. I want what's best for her."

"Okay, but I'm smack in the middle of this, Nate, and I need to know what to do."

"Just be there for her," Nathan said unequivocally.

"And what about you? What do I do when she asks about you? Do you want me to help you? Or should I help her move on?" Rachel pressed him.

"Help her move on," Nathan growled.

"Are you sure? What if you change your mind?"

"I won't. Even if I do, Rach, still _keep her away from me_. _Just always do what's best for her_."

* * *

Haley opened her eyes and saw her mother sitting on side of the bed. Then she felt her mother's warm touch, as she stroked her arm.

"Hey. How's my Haley Bob?" Lydia asked softly.

Haley just rolled her eyes and grunted.

"I heard you had a bad day. Mommy's here to make it better," Lydia smiled weakly.

Haley looked expectantly at her mother. She then looked around the room, as for a brief moment, she thought Nathan might actually be there. Tears filled Haley's eyes as she realized she was wrong.

"Haley. Isn't this what you wanted?" Lydia pointed to the single frame that stood on the table beside her bed.

Haley's eyes widened and tears began streaming down her face. She carefully picked up the frame and clutched it to her chest as she began to convulse into heavy sob so much that it caused her jaw to hurt. Wanting the pain to subside, Haley calmed herself down, as she examined the picture.

It was her favorite picture of her and Nathan. It was taken by his Uncle Keith the day they visited Karen and Lily after they came home from the hospital, just after Lily was born. The picture showed Haley's head resting on Nathan's shoulder, with her eyes were focused on him, while he looked lovingly at Lily. Keith had snapped the picture unexpectedly, and so their positions weren't posed, which is what Haley loved so much about it. It was just so natural. That, and the fact that she was pretty sure that was the moment she knew for sure that she wanted a future with Nathan. She had always fantasized about it growing up, but it was about that time she began seeing him as a man; the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and to be the father of her children.

Haley looked at her mother and saw she was crying as well. Lydia grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight.

"Oh, Haley Bob, I'm so sorry," Lydia cried. This just made Haley start to cry all over again. "I didn't want you to hurt like this. But I'm grateful to see you have some fight in you and that your father sees how wrong he is. "

Haley stopped crying and looked at her mother, confused. What was she saying? What did she mean?

"I talked to Nathan—" Haley's mind began racing and her heart began beating faster. Had she heard her mother correctly? She had talked to Nathan? He was ALIVE? "— and he just can't come right now. He's going through so much right now…Everything's going to be alright though, Haley. I can just feel it. He just needs to sort some things out…He has finals and graduation. Then he needs to get his act together for Duke, right? His attorney is working real hard to make sure they don't drop him. I guess legally they can't. Anyway, I need you get better, Haley, so we can sort this all out, okay?"

Haley nodded at her mother. She honestly hadn't much of what her mother said. She was still processing this news. _Nathan was alive. She was alive. It was all going to be alright._ Her mother had just said so.

"I want to make a deal with you, Haley," Lydia said sternly. Haley nodded for her mother to go on. "If you do your best to get better, if you fight like I know you can, like you did with that same fire you had earlier today…and you get better and make that full recovery the doctors are saying is possible…I'll make sure you'll get talk to Nathan and figure this all out. Now, this may not happen for a while because you are going to need to go to Raleigh for some in-patient physical therapy, but it will happen. _I promise you_. Is that a deal?"

It was the first time she had tried to say something other than Nathan's name. The words came out loud and clear. "Yes," Haley gritted out.

"That's my girl," Lydia smiled proudly at her.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "World Spins Madly On" (The Weepies)

AN: I love the song for the next chapter…it's so sad, but has helped me get through some rough times dealing with the loss of my father and brother. I loved the OTH episode it came from too and never would have found this song without the show!

I'll probably take a few days before I post the next chapter. It is long, intense and took a long time to write. It has a court scene in it and I did Mock Trial in high school (wonderful experience, learned I didn't want to be a lawyer) so I was determined to use the correct legal jargon. I fully admit I didn't get it 100% right, but I can tell you tv doesn't either. Oh, well. Also, it is a flashforward to October. Hmmm...what falls in October?

Thanks to those reviewed. Again, don't feel like you need to for such a short chapter. I am predicting the next one will give you lots to say and I hope you do review then. I still hope to continue posting these sucky, depressing chapters as quickly as possible. Thanks for reading! Hope you stick with it!


	45. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 44: "World Spins Madly On" (The Weepies)

Light filled the room, yet Nathan lay motionless in bed, savoring his last moments of peace and quiet. He could hear his roommate's voice coming down the hallway and knew he was seconds away from him storming into the room, turning the lights back on and yelling at him. He always said the same thing and Nathan could just hear it now. _Get your ass up! Let's get to that party! You got to enjoy college! You got to see these hot chicks!_ It was a Saturday night, which meant he could also expect him to be even more riled up. It was the same battle; this was going on ever since he arrived at Duke last month and it usually ended the same way. His roommate eventually gave up and Nathan went back to bed.

Today it might be different though, because Nathan had reached his breaking point and honestly didn't know how he was going to get through the next day, never mind the upcoming weeks when he would have to testify at the trial. He couldn't keep going on the way he had been, that was for sure. He had to do something different and maybe his roommate, Nino, was right after all.

Nino Jones really wasn't a bad roommate and Nathan had to give him credit for putting up with his miserable ass for past two months. They were both freshmen on the basketball team, but so far Nino was the only one enjoying those perks. All Nathan had done since he arrived was mope around, go to class and work out. Nino, on the other hand, seemed determined to enjoy as much as his first semester of college before the full intensity of basketball season set in. According to Nino, Duke basketball players were always the center of attention at any party, including the frat ones. Nino bragged about having drinks handed to him the second he walked in the door and always having his pick of the ladies. So far, the only evidence that Nathan had seen from that was when Nino would come stumbling in drunk at various hours of the night and morning. Much to Nathan's relief, he hadn't brought a girl back to the room, although he was always threatening to. Nathan guessed that Nino was hesitant to bring someone back to the room because of him. Nathan was always there, after all, and it would probably be embarrassing for Nino's ladies to see his pathetic excuse for a roommate.

Nino knew Nathan was going through rough time; everyone did. The local media had made sure of that. In fact, Nathan had almost lost his Duke scholarship because of all of the bad press. The headlines had focused on the themes of love, jealousy and basketball. The stories highlighted how the Duke prospect was embroiled in a scandal with small town mob family. They wrote about how his "best friend" had beat up his girlfriend and how he had taken out his vengeance afterwards. Some had suggested the conflict was the result of love triangle gone horribly wrong, with others wrote of Damien's jealousy over Nathan's accolades. Others combined both elements. All the stories embellished the facts and added commentary. The only positive thing about the stories were that they kept Haley's name out of it for confidentiality reasons, since she there were allegations of attempted rape. So, Duke had eventually contacted him about rescinding his scholarship. Luckily, Andy had been able to work everything out, albeit with threats of lawsuit since legally, Nathan hadn't done anything wrong and wasn't being charge with a crime. Later, Nathan also learned through Whitey that the Duke coaches were still interested in him and it was all just the university's public relations department that was panicking. This quelled some of Nathan's fears as he finally set foot on Duke's campus anxious to put everything behind him and start fresh. Now, all he had to do was get through the trial and then wait for basketball season to start.

So Nino and all the other basketball players knew about him before they met him. What a lucky guy Nino was walking in to see the scandalous Nathan Scott as his roommate on that first day. Despite that, Nino had been respectful about his past. He hadn't asked any questions, which was the way Nathan liked it. The only thing he was doing was constantly hounding Nathan about going to those damn parties.

Nathan winced as lights flooded the dark room.

"Dude, it's six o'clock at night! You sleeping again? Tell me you're just resting up for that big party I've been telling you about all week! Don't make me drag your ass there," Nino scolded him. Nathan got up from his bed and walked over to the window. "Well, well, you actually got up this time. That's a start, although, you staring out that window again, isn't. I mean, what do you see out there anyway? Are there some naked ladies or something?"

Nathan couldn't help but smile. Nino was a pretty funny guy and in some ways just what he needed. Nathan turned around and looked at his relentless roommate. "Tell me about this party again."

"Now, we're talking. See, it's not just any party. The girl's basketball team is hosting it. It seems those girls want to see just what us guys have to offer, if you know what I mean," Nino said with a bright smile.

"That's not my thing, Nino," Nathan muttered. A party with drinks and meeting people was one thing, but one that was designed for hookups—Nathan wasn't up for that.

"What is your thing then, huh? Cuz everybody is wondering!"

"Everyone should just shut the fuck up!" Nathan snapped.

"You know," Nino said raising his eyebrows at him. "I've seen that picture of that girl in the top drawer of your desk—"

"I told you not to touch my stuff!"

"Chill….I needed a pen, Nate. Geez! Look, all I'm saying is that it wouldn't hurt if you spent some time outside these four walls. Just go, have a few drinks, talk to some ladies…Nothing has to happen unless you want it to. Unless there still is something with that girl in the picture…"

"Not that it's any of our business, but no…we haven't talked in months." It had been five months, three weeks and two days…and tomorrow would be the hardest of them all.

"Okay, then. It's time to get out then, Nate. I mean, do it for me, man. I'm so sick of people asking me about you! And let me tell you, the ladies are all up in my grill about what your deal is…"

* * *

"Knock, knock," a bubbly voice said cautiously.

Haley looked up from her computer screen and saw a smiling Quinn and nervous Taylor at her doorway. She rolled her eyes and hit the refresh button on her email again. "What, did mom call you or was it dad this time?" Haley asked crossly.

"It's your birthday, Haley Bob. Of course we want to be here to celebrate it with you," Quinn said warmly. "We got here as soon as we could."

"It was mom," Taylor answered bluntly. "Anyway, I don't see why you're so miserable. I hear Brooke threw you a big ass party yesterday and all of your friends were there."

"_All of my friends_, Tay? You may want to check your facts," Haley scoffed.

Quinn and Taylor exchanged nervous glances as they settled in on Haley's bed. They watched as Haley hit the refresh button again.

"Well, we're here," Quinn said cheerfully. "And mom baked a cake and we have presents for you. Why don't you come downstairs?"

"I don't want to," Haley said clearly.

"What are you going to do, Hales? Just stay in your room and mope, waiting for an email that's never going to come?" Taylor quipped.

"Taylor!" Quinn admonished her.

Haley just glared at them both and pointedly hit the refresh button again. She wasn't going to waste her breath on a response. She wasn't stupid. This is why her mother had asked them to come. They were there to play good cop/bad cop with her. It was just another strategy that people were using to get inside her head. Just like the way her mother had promised her everything was going to work out. The way her mother promised her she would help her see him….talk to him…figure it all out…Haley was now convinced this was all just a bunch of carefully told lies designed to inspire her get her better. Instead, that false hope just made things worse, especially on this day. The night was nearly here, the day was nearly gone, and Haley felt like the whole in her heart was just getting wider.

"What? I didn't come all this way to watch Haley be such a bitch," Taylor said defensively. "But, I always knew you had in you, little sis," she added proudly.

"Just leave," Haley spat out.

"Fine. I'll be downstairs, but I'm not leaving until I give you your present, so you better get your ass downstairs soon or else I'll carry you down!" Taylor threatened her. She raised her eyebrows at Haley, letting her know she was serious, and then left her room.

"You too, Quinn," Haley said to her remaining sister.

"I'm worried about you, Hales. We all are," Quinn said with great concern.

"I am so sick of hearing that!"

"But it's true…Mom said your back to using the wheelchair when you go out—"

"Well then I'll stop going out if that's such a problem!"

"That's not it, Haley, and you know it! You barely ever go out as is it! It's just…the last time I saw you, you were walking on your own. I saw that, Haley. You didn't need the crutches or the cane…I mean you were slow, but it was all you. I don't understand what happened."

"You wouldn't."

"Then tell me. Make me understand."

How she could explain how hard it was? How she had to relearn everything other people took for granted—talking…walking? Those things just came naturally to most people, but not to her; not now anyway.

It hadn't taken long for the doctors to figure out the effects of her brain trauma. The way the doctors had explained to her, which no doubt was the dumbed-down version, was that her brain needed to be rewired when it came to talking and walking. For most people, when talking or walking, the brain sent off a wave of neurons that worked like signals to activate different parts of the body. With Haley, after having her jaw reset, and having a reconstructed right knee, her brain was not just firing off those neurons like they should. It was strange and not even the neurologists could explain exactly why this was happening and why things worked fine one minute and not the next. There were sometimes when Haley didn't think about things and she could talk and get up and move her knee just fine. There were others though, when she struggled, feeling trapped by her own body, unable to actually move her mouth or her knee like she wanted. It was like she froze up. So far, there was only one consistent variable in these situations. If Haley was worked up and emotional, she had no trouble blurting things out or getting up quickly and moving around. When she had to focus on it, it was just harder.

Now, several months later, Haley, had completely re-mastered the art of speaking, but was still struggling with that damn right knee. Just when she thought she had it down, things had changed and she had reverted back to the crutches, the walker, and now that horrible wheelchair. It was all just so embarrassing. To even get down the stairs like her sister wanted would require an incredible amount of effort and leave her completely exhausted. Not to mention that she had done that last night. Yes, she had made herself pretty, dragged herself down the stairs, put on a happy face and even got her hopes up…but it was all in vain.

The doctors were baffled and her physical therapist was frustrated at her regression. Technically, her knee appeared to be successfully reconstructed and should be functioning perfectly, so this meant her regression was just probably psychological. What the hell did that mean? It was in her head? She was going crazy? Did they think she was enjoying this? That she wanted to be a cripple her whole life? The only saving grace was that besides some occasional soreness that usually came with rain, she wasn't in pain; not from her knee, anyway. Her heart was an entirely different story.

"You wouldn't understand," Haley repeated to her sister.

* * *

Nathan stumbled around the corner, his hand gripped tightly around the blonde's waist. He cast a look over his shoulder and smiled crookedly at the brunette trailing behind him. When Nathan turned back around, he came to a sudden stop at the sight of extremely pissed off Lucas, standing with his arms crossed, leaning against the door to his room.

"You've got to be kidding me, Nate!" Lucas yelled.

Nathan felt like a ton of bricks had crashed down on his forehead. Dizziness swept over him, as the blonde and brunette both worked to keep him on his feet. Nathan fished his key of his pocket and dropped it on the floor.

"Unbelievable!" Lucas exclaimed disgusted. He bent down, picked up the key, and opened the door.

The girls walked Nathan to the bed and then eyed Lucas up and down.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" The blonde purred as she kept her eyes fixed on Lucas.

"Uhhhh…." Nathan stammered, not having a clue what either of the girl's names was.

"Forget it," huffed the brunette. "He's so wasted. We'll find out if Suzy's story was true some other time."

"Suzy? I heard it from Cathy!" The blonde said just as she shut the door behind them.

Nathan kicked off his shoes and lay down on his bed. Now, in addition to the pounding in his head, he felt sick to his stomach.

"Nathan! What the hell is going on? I can't believe you!" Lucas blasted him.

"Not right now, Luke. I think I'm going to be sick." The queasiness in Nathan had now launched into an intense bout of nausea.

"No way! I've been waiting for two hours out in that hallway—"

Nathan flew up, barely making it to the small garbage can just beside his desk, where he began throwing up.

* * *

"Oh, look's who's finally awake? Hope you slept it off, Nate," Lucas chided him.

Nathan sat up and saw Lucas sitting up on Nino's bed. The events of the last night hazily came back to him. He felt bad about what Lucas had seen and how he had to put up with him getting sick on and off all night, but then again, it's not like he knew Lucas was coming. "Why are you here?" he muttered.

"Andy sent me. I guess you haven't been answering your calls."

Nathan couldn't deny it. His phone had been ringing nonstop and he finally just shut it off and threw it at the back of one of his drawers. Nino had practically done a victory dance, as Nathan had been on edge each time he looked at the phone. That had been a week ago and Nathan hadn't looked back since. After that, he had been able to go back to relaxing, although judging from last night, he had done that a little too much.

"I know," Nathan sighed. "It hasn't been easy you know."

"I know," Lucas said sympathetically. "That's why we were calling. I know last Sunday—"

"Don't," Nathan cut him off as he got up from his bed and walked over to the window.

"She waited for you all day, Nate—"

"I don't want to hear this!" Nathan yelled angrily.

"You need to!" Lucas shouted back. "We wanted you to come to her party on Saturday! Her mom even called! Check your messages, Nate! You should have at least ten messages about that damn party!"

"Well, I didn't know. I told you; I shut my phone off." The final straw had been when Lydia called that Friday. Sure, he hadn't known about the party, but he had known what she wanted. It was what they all wanted. He needed to talk to Haley and her birthday was the perfect time to do so.

"And what were you doing with your phone shut off? Ignoring the rest of us and going out drinking and hooking up with girls—"

"They were just taking me home! As you saw, I was pretty wasted!"

"Right," Lucas said unconvinced. "Well, what about the condom wrapper I found in the garbage?"

"You're going through my garbage now!—"

"I was cleaning up after you!"

"Yeah, well thanks for that. You have some nerve, coming here, Luke. First of all, I have a roommate, you know, he's the one that stayed out all last night, as you see. _He's _pretty popular with the ladies. Second of all, I can do whatever the hell I want! It's not like…" Nathan couldn't bring himself to say the rest.

"On Sunday, you could have called her. No matter where you two stand, that was the least you could have done!" Lucas continued badgering him.

"There's no point!" Nathan said exasperated. "It's not going to change anything. I'm here. She's there. We just have different lives now and that's how it should be." It was how it had to be. As difficult as it was, they had to learn how to live without each other.

"You're so full of shit. It's like you don't even care. I mean, you don't even ask about her, Nate! You're such cold-hearted son of a bitch," Lucas spewed out disgustedly.

"Fuck you!" Nathan snapped back. Nathan turned back to the window, and couldn't deny how Lucas had affected him. His words had cut through him, but it was his tone that he couldn't take. He knew Lucas was angry with him, but still…to say that with such conviction…that was just low. He was talking about him like he was a monster. Did he really think he didn't care about her? That not talking to her on her birthday was easy? That a day had gone by when he didn't think of her? When he didn't dream of her? When he didn't wondering what was doing or what she was thinking? But nothing changed…the world just keep spinning and he kept hurting and the cycle just kept repeating itself.

Except when he drank. It had only been a week since he had that first shot, but Nathan had quickly found out two important things that alcohol did for him. The first thing it did was give him numbness. It took away his pain because it took away all of his emotions. The second was that it made him feel like _the_ _old Nathan_. _The Nathan before her_. _The real Nathan_, because honestly, he had convinced himself he had never changed. He had tried to be good enough for her, but he never quite measured up.

Nathan turned back around and faced his cousin. He could read the anguish on his face and he felt his own anger subsiding and guilt setting in. Lucas was just trying to help. "I'm sorry, Luke. It's all just so hard…and I have to be ready to testify on Thursday…How pissed is Andy?"

"Pretty pissed. Look, Nate, he sent me down here to get you. The trial has been moving along quicker than they thought and they are just about done with your sister."

"Rachel's been testifying?" Nathan asked shocked. Hell, he had only been ignoring calls for a week. Things must have been moving very quickly if they were almost ready for him. The prosecution's last three witness were supposed to be Rachel, him, then… "How is she?" Nathan blurted out.

"She's been doing awesome, Nate. You know that attitude she has? Well, she's been really giving it to the defensive attorneys. It's actually been kind of funny to watch—"

"I wasn't talking about Rachel," Nathan said avoiding Lucas' eyes. Lucas remained silent forcing him to look up. "How is _she_?" Nathan asked again.

"_She_?" Lucas asked irritated. "_Her name is Haley_, Nathan. You can say her name you know."

"_How is Haley_?" Nathan asked, nearly choking on her name. The last time he had said it aloud was during his deposition.

"She's not ready to testify; I'll tell you that. She's getting worse every day."

"Don't bullshit me, Lucas! The last time I talked to her mom she told me she was walking again!"

"You've talked to her mom?" Lucas asked surprised.

"I'm not heartless you know," Nathan quietly revealed. God, he hated how Lucas had got to him like this. It was better if he just let him going on thinking he was an ass, but here he found himself becoming an emotional wreck in the few moments since he uttered her name. _Haley_. That word alone stabbed at his heart and made him want to sink to his knees.

"I know," Lucas said with a small smile, leaving Nathan feeling like he was just played. He was now sure all along Lucas had just been baiting him. The only other person who had been able to do that with him—to really get through his walls, was…Haley. "So, you have to come back to Tree Hill with me in case they're ready for you on Monday. Pack your things and we're hitting the road in an hour. You can have the car ride to think about what you're going to say to Andy…"

"I'm screwed with that one," Nathan said as he pulled out a duffel bag from under his bed.

"There's just one more thing, Nathan," Lucas said seriously. Nathan looked at him expectedly. "When you're in Tree Hill this time…_you're going to talk to Haley_. You have to. That's the least you can do before she testifies."

Nathan nodded understanding. It was time to face her once and for all.

* * *

Nathan was halfway through his second day of testifying when the defense attorney began to get to him. Andy had warned him about this, but the problem was that Andy wasn't in the courtroom. He didn't want to be accused of coaching the prosecution's witness and so that left Nathan on his own. Andy had just reminded him that he wasn't the one on trial; Damien was.

Well, you could have fooled him. It seemed as if the entire defense team's strategy was to pin the whole thing on Nathan. Even in what he had heard about Rachel's testimony, the focus had been on the assassination of his character. Damien's attorney had asked her all kinds of questions about her relationship with her brother and, to Rachel's credit, she had done an awesome job standing up to him. She was quick with her words, held a confident tone and was always poised.

Nathan, on the other hand, was about to lose it. The questions weren't entirely new. He had been asked most of them in the deposition and if he really thought about it, those questions were much worse. During the deposition, the defense had the chance to ask anything they wanted without any objections. The difference this time around was in the audience and in cutthroat mannerisms of the lead defense attorney, Mr. Cervez.

The person in the audience that had rattled his nerves the most was Haley's father. Nathan had to deal with Jimmy James watching his every move, listening to his every word. Andy had tried to prepare him for this since Jimmy had been in the courtroom _all day_, _every day_. It had been hard enough to tell the story about the attack with him there, which happened during the previous day's testimony. The story was told during the prosecution's direct examination, but Nathan soon learned things were very different in a cross examination, which was what was going on today.

In the prosecution's direct examination, which was conducted by, Mr. Kline, Nathan was allowed to tell his story. He was asked questions by the very genial lead prosecutor, and was allowed to take his time and talk as much as he wanted. Apparently during a cross examination, the questions were more yes/no style and Nathan had been reprimanded several times for answering beyond the scope of the question. It seemed as if he was supposed to answer each question, simple "yes" or "no" when called for. Even worse, was that Mr. Cervez was firing them off at him rapidly and always seemed to find a way of using his own words against him.

Yesterday, during the start of cross, Mr. Cervez had done a great job painting the picture of Nathan as unstable psychopath with rage issues. He had brought up lots of incidents from his freshman and sophomore years, including the one with him stealing the bus, smashing mailboxes, supposedly crashing Mr. West's car and even leaving Lucas stranded in that swamp. Today, he only seemed interested in probing into his relationship with Haley and their interactions with Damien. In a way, he would rather go back to the questions from yesterday.

"Is it true that you punched Mr. West?"

"Yes, after he—"

"Your Honor?" Mr. Cervez looked at the judge for help.

"Just answer the question, Mr. Scott," the judge reminded him.

"Yes."

"How did the defendant respond to that? Did he retaliate in any way?"

"Yes."

Mr. Cervez looked surprised at his answer. "How?"

"He beat up Haley."

Mr. Cervez rolled his eyes at him. "Did Mr. West ever retaliate against _you _in any way?"

"I told you. He beat Haley. That was his retaliation against me. It was the worst thing he could have done to me and he knew that."

"_You_, Mr. Scott. Did he ever attack _you_? Threaten _you_? Physically harm _you_ in any way?"

"No."

"To your knowledge, did Mr. West have a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Did he ever date?"

Nathan scoffed. "I wouldn't call it that."

"What would you call it, Mr. Scott?"

"Hooking up."

"Did he do that frequently?"

"Yeah."

"So he didn't have a problem finding a girl to hook up with?"

"No."

"Did he try and 'hook up' with Ms. James?"

"He tried to rape her. Does that qualify?" Nathan answered sharply.

"Before that _alleged_ incident, did he ever express interest to you in hooking up with Ms. James?"

"One night at party, he told me that she was dressed like a slut and deserved to be treated like one and needed to be put in her place and if I didn't take care of that, he would."

"Did he explain what taking care of that would entail?"

"No."

"How did you interpret that?"

"I didn't know what it meant but was nervous enough and figured he was pissed at her because she didn't fall for his act and always stood up to him. He also told me that Haley was messing with my head. He called her a stuck-up bitch and said I was too good for her."

"How did you respond to that?"

"I tried to get her away from him, but he found us and then he called her a slut to her face."

Mr. Cervez looked at him carefully. "Did you use any type of violence in responding to this incident?"

Nathan sighed. Damien had never said anything about it, but he always figured he must have known. "I punched a hole in the wall."

"Did you ever talk about your relationship with Ms. James with Mr. West?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Damien and I didn't have that kind of relationship."

"How did he find out about your relationship with Ms. James?"

"Haley and I were always close, even before we dated. Then, when she came to high school, I let it be known to _all_ of the football players, that Haley…was important to me and off limits."

"So you didn't single Mr. West out at this time?"

"No," Nathan reluctantly admitted. It was something that always haunted him. Right after the homecoming dance, the night that Damien had really upset Haley, he had promised her that he would talk to him about it. He never did. In the end, he had just hoped the whole thing would blow over…and two years later, there he sat the courtroom, with Haley still recovering from her injuries and Jimmy James staring him down.

"Did you consider Mr. West one of your friends?"

"At first," Nathan answered honestly.

"When did your relationship with Mr. West change?"

"That night at the party when he called Haley a slut," Nathan said dryly.

"You didn't consider him a friend after that?"

"Not a real one. I just pretended to be his."

"Did Mr. West act like a friend toward you?"

"No."

"But when he called Ms. James a slut, he did that out of concern for you, correct?"

"Objection. Calls for speculation," Mr. Kline interjected.

"Sustained," the judge responded.

"You just testified that he told you that you were too good for her, correct?"

Nathan immediately began to curse himself as he realized that he said the wrong thing. "No, he didn't say that. What Damien said was that Haley thought she was too good to be seen with me," Nathan quickly clarified. He looked at the attorney and realized the damage was done. Mr. Cervez had once again been able to use his own words against him.

"So, are you changing your testimony?"

"I got confused, but I remember now," Nathan said hopelessly.

"Anytime get confused, let us know, because I want to remind you, Mr. Scott, you are under oath."

"That was the only time."

"Did Mr. West attempt to spend time socially with you, like say a friend would, after this incident?"

"Yes. He was always trying to get me to hang out with him."

"Yet, you still maintain the Mr. West did not act like a friend towards you?"

"Maybe in his own screwed up head. I don't know; you'll have to ask him. All I know is he was always interested in me and who I hung around with and that included Haley. He was jealous, I guess."

"Jealous of what?"

"Of me? Of the attention I gave Haley instead of him?" Nathan then smiled wide as he saw an opportunity to give Damien a dig he knew he wouldn't like. "Looking back at it now, I guess he kind of had _a thing_ for me," Nathan said smugly.

Snickers erupted amongst the courtroom and Damien's face turned beet red. Nathan just continued smiling which just caused Damien to noticeably get even more steamed.

"Oh, really. Do you believe Mr. West is gay?"

Nathan was taken aback by this blunt question and began to get nervous. He hadn't expected the attorney to purse this line of question with his off-handed remark. Haley's brother Lou was gay and he hadn't meant to offend anyone. He only said it because he knew that this would get under Damien's skin.

"Objection! Speculation!" Mr. Kline yelled.

"Sustained."

"Mr. Scott, were you intimidated by Mr. West because you believed he might have been gay?"

"No."

"I'm still confused here, Mr. Scott. You explained that you didn't consider Mr. West one of your real friends. Why did you spend time with him, then?"

"I was seriously misguided. At first, he fed my ego. Then, it was because I was afraid of his family.—"

"Request for sidebar, Your Honor," Mr. Cervez asked quickly.

Nathan watched as the attorneys from both sides conferred in the sidebar area. He knew they were talking about the impending case against Mr. West. Andy had told him that most likely he would not be allowed to talk about anything involving any of the illegal West activities, since it was an ongoing investigation. This included the threats made by Daunte, who had conveniently disappeared again and could not be brought in for questioning.

After a few minutes of quietly talking, the attorneys returned to their respective sides and the judge turned to address the jury.

"Members of the jury, I would like to strike that question and answer from the records. Please disregard what you heard."

Mr. Cervez looked through his notes for moment and then was handed a note from one of the other defense attorneys. A small smile spread over his face and Nathan began to worry. It was clear that the attorney had to switch gears and Nathan wondered what direction he was going in now.

"Mr. Scott, did you ever threaten Mr. West?"

Nathan couldn't help but notice Damien's smirk at this question and immediately felt his own blood beginning to boil. This was not something that had come up in the deposition. It was no doubt something that came from Damien or maybe even Tim's deposition. At this time, Tim was on the list for the defense witnesses and they still weren't sure if Damien would testify. From what Andy told him, the two boys were still in cahoots with the West's calling the shots. Tim's story had corroborated Damien's. They were both claiming that Nathan had been drinking heavily, had a fight with Haley and then beat both Damien and her in a fit of rage.

_I'm not the one on trial_, Nathan repeated Andy's words in his head. Damien was. Tim's trial would be next with him charged as an accessory, if he didn't strike a plea first. Andy had a feeling that if Tim's lawyers were smart, they were going to wait and see what happened to Damien. The prosecution, on the other hand, was aiming for attempted forcible rape and a felony assault with a deadly weapon with Damien. If convicted of both charges, Damien would be facing a minimum of twelve years in prison with a possibility of up to thirty years. It would be even more if the prosecution could prove that Damien had intended to kill Haley, which is something they were aiming for.

So far, despite the defense's desperate attempt to refocus the attention from Damien to Nathan, the prosecution's case was pretty rock solid. First, there was the crime scene evidence, which perfectly matched the identical stories of Rachel, Nathan and Haley. The most compelling was the DNA evidence. They had found traces of Damien's DNA under Haley's fingernails and his fingerprints all over her clothing and that bat. Nathan's had been there too, of course, which the defense had brought up, but the evidence was stacked against Damien across the board. Still, it was _Haley's testimony_ that would be the nail in his coffin and everyone knew that.

There were also lots of character witnesses the prosecution had brought in to talk about Damien. Some of them had been hesitant at first, presumably because they were scared of the wrath of the West's, but word had also spread across town that due to Dan's involvement with the FBI, and the case that was being built, the West's reign of terror over Tree Hill was just about over. It was only a matter of time before Mr. West would be charged with a stack of crimes that if convicted, would put him behind bars for the rest of his life. So in the end, the prosecution witnesses had been plentiful. They included coaches, such as Whitey, members of the basketball team, such as Jake and Lucas, teachers, students, and neighbors. All of them were quick to mention Damien's public behavior towards Nathan at the State Championship game and in the end, they all carried the same message; Damien was the unstable one with a mean streak, who was always jealous of Nathan, hated Haley, was under enormous pressure from his father and had just finally snapped.

"I repeat, Mr. Scott. Did you ever threaten my client?"

"Yes. Right before he beat Haley."

"Judge?"

"Just yes or no, Mr. Scott," the judge reminded him again.

"Yes."

"What did you threaten to do to my client?"

Nathan sighed. He was under oath and this probably going to come out in Tim's testimony anyway. Despite Andy's warning, he couldn't help but catch Damien's eye as he answered. He still hated him and part of him wished he was dead. "I told him if he touched Haley, I would kill him."

"You threatened to kill him?"

Mr. Kline shot up. "Objection, Your Honor. Asked and answered."

"Sustained. Move along, Mr. Cervez," the judge responded.

"You mentioned the possibility of Mr. West touching Ms. James. Did the two of them ever engage in any type of sexual relationship?"

Nathan's eyes widened and his heart began to race. "Are you kidding me? Haley hated him! She was my girlfriend! That's why—"

Mr. Kline shot up again. "Objection, Your Honor. The question calls for speculation."

"I'll rephrase," Mr. Cervez offered quickly. "_To your knowledge_, did Mr. West and Ms. James ever engage in any type of sexual relationship?"

"No," Nathan scoffed. He couldn't get over what this guy was suggesting. It was so absurd, it was comical. Mostly, it was frustrating since it was clear that just by asking the question, Mr. Cervez was trying to plant an idea in the jurors' minds.

"Did you ever engage in any type of sexual relationship with Ms. James?"

Nathan swallowed hard. He had tried to prepare himself for this question, but hadn't done a good job as he felt his throat getting dry and his palms beginning to sweat. He took a sip from his cup of water and tried not to think about how Jimmy was glaring at him.

"Yes."

"How many times—"

Mr. Kline stood up and scoffed. "Objection, Your Honor! Relevance?"

The judge looked to Mr. Cervez. "I'm trying to lay the proper foundation for some of my next questions."

"I'll give you a little latitude, but just a little. Get to the point!" The judge grumbled.

"How many times did you have sex with Ms. James?"

"It was just one night," Nathan repeated the line he had rehearsed.

"Were you a virgin?"

"Yes," Nathan admitted. He could feel his face turning red, but his embarrassment quickly faded as he heard Damien chuckling.

"Was Ms. James a virgin as well?"

"Yes."

"So I'm guessing that was an intimate experience, right?"

Nathan's mouth dropped open. He was flabbergasted that this guy was asking about what his sexual experience was like. Luckily, the prosecutor jumped up.

"Objection!—" Mr. Kline didn't even need to give a reason this time for his objection.

"Sustained," the judge quickly responded. " One more question, Mr. Cervez. You're walking a very fine line, here."

"How did it feel when Ms. James, the young lady with whom you lost your virginity to, jumped out of a rowboat _to get away from you_ and swam towards the safety of Mr. West, a young man who you claimed that wasn't even your real friend, and had a history of taunting her?"

Nathan took a deep breath as he realized that this was the question that the attorney had been trying to build to all along. He tried to think carefully about his answer, but only one thing came to mind.

"I panicked. I had a panic attack. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I thought I might die," Nathan slowly admitted. As he said the words, all those emotions came rushing back to him, and as he sat there talking about something he was deeply ashamed about, in front of a large audience that included Haley's father, he felt unbelievably vulnerable. Now everyone would know that strong, cocky, athletic Nathan Scott was nothing but a weak mental case.

"Then how did you manage to get onshore?"

Nathan looked directly at Jimmy as he answered. He was the person whose opinion meant the most to him in that courtroom. "When I heard Haley screaming, that was all that mattered…It's always been that way…Haley is the only person who matters…" Nathan trailed off, as he felt a lump forming in his throat.

"Then why did you spend all that time beating Mr. West instead of tending to the needs of Ms. James?"

"I made a mistake," was all Nathan could say.

"Do you regret beating Mr. West with a bat?"

"I don't regret defending Haley. He was going to kill her."

"So you don't regret beating Mr. West?"

"No," Nathan gritted out, trying his best to conceal his hatred for Damien. This was another thing Andy had warned him about. He knew the defense would try to get the jury to see his angry side and how he felt about Damien. The problem was that Damien had the smarmy smirked plastered across his face right now. It was as if he was sitting there gloating about how he had survived Nathan's wrath. So before he knew it, Nathan was talking again. "Damien West is a horrible human being who had a desperate need to be liked. The truth was, I never liked him and neither did Haley. As soon as everyone else saw what we did, they turned on him. It was only a matter of time before he snapped. My only regret is that when he did, he didn't direct his anger towards me, but," Nathan said looking directly at Damien, "I suspect he was too scared too."

Thankfully, Mr. Cervez didn't press him as Damien sat there seething. "I have no further questions at this time, Your Honor."

Nathan felt relieved and prepared to exit the stand until one of the female prosecutors stood up. He had only seen her once before, on the day of his initial deposition and he knew she was assigned to deal with Haley's testimony. She had long brown hair that was pinned up in a tight bun, black-wired glasses and dressed very conservatively, making her look much older than she really was. If he had to guess, Nathan would say she was right out of college. Still, she was clearly ready to ask him questions as she stood poised and confident, which surprised him. He hadn't expected her to be questioning him; he had always dealt with Mr. Kline. "Permission to redirect, Your Honor?"

"Granted. You may proceed."

Nathan immediately tensed back up.

"Mr. Scott, were you in love with Ms. James?"

Nathan was taken aback by this blunt question coming from this prosecutor. "Y-Yes," he stammered.

"Are you still in love with her?"

Nathan was caught even more off-guard with this question. He began tugging on his shirt collar as he felt like his airway was starting to become constricted. What the hell was going on here? Why was the prosecution going after him like this? Did this lady even know what she was doing? Nathan took a deep breath. "Yes."

"When did you fall in love with her?"

"I don't know. I think I've always loved her. It just took me a while to realize it."

"When did you start dating?"

"Officially, about a year ago. We were close before that though…"

"So why did you wait so long to start dating?"

Once again, Nathan needed a moment to collect himself. He knew the answer, he just dreaded saying it in front of everyone like this. "I didn't want to hurt her."

"Why did you think you would hurt her?" the prosecutor asked softly.

Nathan could feel his emotional wall beginning to crumble. He had been forced to say things aloud here that he never said to anyone, except maybe Haley. And of course, with him feeling so horrible, all he wanted was Haley. All those feelings he had, that he spent the past six months pushing away, it had all come back to him—that fast. It was all just too much. "Because I'm not a good person."

"And Haley is?"

Nathan's lips trembled and his eyes filled up as the image of Haley, bloodied and beaten flashed before him. "S-she's the best…"

"Do you blame yourself for what happened, Mr. Scott?"

"Y-Yes," Nathan said as tears began to stream down his face. He put his head down and began to softly cry.

Silence fell over the courtroom.

Once he felt the tears stop falling, Nathan looked up and began speaking directly to Jimmy in a desperate tone. "You were right. I should have protected her! I let that happen. I let that bastard get near her! I'm the reason—"

Mr. Cervez's and his full team of attorney's flew up. "Objection!"

The judge banged his gavel down and silences the now chattering courtroom. "Let's have a ten minute recess," the judge said disgruntled.

Nathan brushed away his tears and saw that people were milling about the courtroom watching him. They were waiting to see what his move was going to be. Damien, who looked very angry, was being counseled by one of his attorneys. He didn't seem to be receptive to whatever the attorney was saying, and harshly pushed the guy's hands off his shoulder.

Nathan's heart began to race and he felt like all walls were closing in on him. He wanted to get out of there fast. He needed to. He wished there was someone waiting for him, but he knew the only person there for him today was Andy. He wished it were it his Uncle Keith or Aunt Karen, or even his Uncle Coop, but although they had all offered, none of them could make it. Keith had been there yesterday, and planned on being there today, but Lily had an ear infection and so he needed to take her to the doctors. Karen had offered to shut down the café so one of them could be there, but Nathan couldn't let them do that. Then, Coop was in Charlotte and had preliminary trials for a speed car racing competition he was planning on competing in. There was no way he could skip that if he wanted to be eligible.

As for his mother…well, Nathan had pretty much given up on the idea of her being there for him. She was so wrapped up in Rachel these days, and focusing on her progress, that she didn't seem to give him a second thought. It some ways, Nathan felt like she was actually embarrassed and ashamed of him; that she just likened him so much to his father, that she had written him off.

As Nathan finally began to make his way to the doors, he saw Jimmy standing there, with his hands in his pockets with a dismayed look upon his face. He was watching him. The closer Nathan got to him, the more nervous he became. It looked as if Jimmy wanted to talk to him.

He couldn't do that. Not now. All he wanted to do now was breathe. He wanted to step outside and breathe in some fresh air. Once Nathan got closer to the doors, he shifted and purposely walked out a different door that the one Jimmy was standing by.

Andy was standing close by waiting for him. "Well, I hear there wasn't a dry eye in the house after you finished. Nice job, Nate."

Nathan looked at him disgusted. "Are you kidding me? I wasn't trying to—" Nathan didn't even bother trying to finish explaining himself since he knew Andy wasn't listening. Instead, he was looking at that female prosecutor that had just done a number on him.

"Is that the one who is doing the redirect?" Andy pointed to her. Nathan nodded. "I'll be right back." Andy headed in her direction. Nathan stood there alone for a minute until he saw Jimmy exit the courtroom. He was looking around and Nathan could only hope he wasn't looking for him.

Nathan walked away as quickly as he could. He could feel himself being followed. He looked towards the door he planned to step out of. There were swarms of reporters there. None of them had been allowed in the courtroom and he knew they were itching for some quotes. Nathan quickly turned his back to them and walked over to the set full length windows.

"NATHAN!" Jimmy cried out urgently.

Nathan turned towards the sound of Jimmy's voice and saw him sprinting towards him, his arm flailing pointing towards something, as if to warn him. Nathan barely had time to figure out what he was pointing at.

Damien was charging at him at full speed from the other side of the hallway. Before he could process this, or even effectively brace himself, Damien used all his weight to lunge into Nathan causing him to fly through the glass window.

The first thing Nathan felt was a wave of pain as his back hit the ground. The pain was so bad that he could barely focus on what was going on around him. When it finally began to subside, he opened his eyes, but everything looked blurry. He squinted and saw there was a group of people around him. They all remained at a distance though, as if afraid to go near him. He didn't recognize any of the faces. None of them were Damien.

Nathan tried to get up and then panicked. "I can't feel my legs!"

He winced again at the pain in his back.

"I got this," a voice called out. "Everyone stay back. There's glass everywhere."

A hand extended towards him. He reached for it, but instead of being pulled up, the hand pushed him back down.

Nathan opened his eyes wide in disbelief. That hand belong to Daunte Jones and he was now leaning down over him, blocking Nathan's view of anything else. Nathan still couldn't feel his legs, but he could feel the barrel of the gun being pushed into his stomach.

"I'm sorry about this, kid. I warned you. I'm just doing my job. I wished you did yours."

Nathan closed his eyes tight wishing it was all over. A second later it was,…as Daunte shot him at point-blank range in the stomach.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Coffee and Cigarettes" (Michelle Featherstone)

AN: I hope to get the next chapter up soon!

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	46. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 45: "Coffee and Cigarettes" (Michelle Featherstone)

_Nathan rode his bicycle as fast as he could, throwing newspapers from the sack slung across his shoulder at every house he passed by. Still, the heavy bag continued to weigh him down and every time he looked, it seemed just as full. He just wanted to finish his route and empty out that sack, with the exception of one paper. The paper he always saved for last was for the house that seemed the most like home to him. He looked down again at the sack and felt his heart racing. It didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. Nathan kept pedaling and throwing the newspapers into driveways, none of which looked familiar to his route, until he suddenly found himself standing the James' driveway with that one last paper clutched in his hand._

_He slowly walked up the driveway and as he reached their front doorway, Mr. James opened the door and invited him in. It was just like the routine they developed on Sunday mornings, only this time for some reason, Nathan hesitated before going inside. There was something different and he wasn't sure if he was welcome. He noticed Mr. James was talking to him, but he couldn't understand anything he was saying. It was as if he was deaf. He looked closely at Mr. James' face and he didn't seem upset, so Nathan walked into the James' house, fully expecting to join the James brood for their traditional Sunday breakfast of pancakes and bacon before church. However, instead of finding everyone seated at the large dining table in their pajamas like he usually did, he found various James' children already dressed for church and meandering about the house. Nathan figured he must have missed breakfast, which was odd because they usually waited for him and Mr. James had just invited him in. Why would he do that if Nathan was so late from finishing his paper route?_

_Nathan looked around for Mr. James but couldn't find him. Instead he found Lou and Taylor. He tried to ask them what was going on, but he couldn't find the words. In addition to being deaf, apparently he was mute. Taylor laughed wildly at him and Lou chuckled as Nathan struggled to talk. He knew he must look like an idiot. Nathan left the living room and went into the kitchen. Mrs. James was at the sink, her back to him, dressed in casual clothes which didn't make any sense if she was heading to church. He tried to call out to her, but again found himself speechless. Mrs. James remained standing there like a statue and would not turn around. _

_Then it hit Nathan. Haley. Haley would surely be able to understand him and would let him know what was going on. He turned around and in a flash found himself standing in the doorway of her bedroom. Haley, who was wearing a dress and had her hear tied up with a bow, had her back to him and Nathan called out to her. Relief washed over him as she turned around._

_When she saw him, her face lit up and Nathan knew she was happy to see him. This made him feel good, but a little confused. He hadn't noticed this before. Yet, here he was looking at Haley, whose cheeks were flushed red, smiling shyly at him and he was thinking about how special that made him feel. Wanting to savor that feeling of joy, Nathan pushed away the confusion and smiled back._

_Haley brushed past him and held out her hand for him. She wasn't talking, but then again, they didn't always need to talk, even at that young age. He could tell that she wanted him to follow her; that she had something to tell him. It was something important that she didn't want anyone else to hear._

_He took her hand and next, he found himself in the middle of a cornfield maze, just like the one his grandparents took him to as a kid. Haley was still holding his hand, leading him. Nathan called out to her and she stopped. He tried to ask her what direction they were going in. Were they trying to go deeper into the maze or trying to get out of it?_

_Haley answered him, but he couldn't understand her. She was talking, it looked like babbling actually, but he couldn't make out a word of it. He tried to read her face, her body language, but all he could tell was that she really wanted him to understand what she was saying. She needed him to understand it, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't. _

_He hated this. It was as if their connection was broken, or maybe it was breaking right then before his eyes. He found himself not wanting to be there any longer, not wanting to be standing next to someone that he had such a deep bond with, growing more frustrated with him each second. Now, she was yelling. He was sure of it, even though again, he heard no words. She was stomping her feet, throwing a temper tantrum, one that was very rare for her, yet not totally out of character. Haley had always been impatient and never held back from letting him know how she felt. It also didn't help that he always knew how to get her going and sometimes did it on purpose just to get a rise of her. But now, he honestly didn't know exactly why she was so upset and that made him upset. _

_Besides the frustration at being unable to communicate, he found himself lost. Now Haley was pointing in both directions of the maze. Now, he was beginning to understand. She was just as lost as him. She didn't know which way to go. She wanted him to tell her which way to go. Again, Nathan asked what their goal was. Were they going into the maze or out of it? Haley just looked at him hopelessly and nodded._

_Needing to move again and not be stuck, Nathan just took off in one direction, praying that they were in fact headed out of the maze and that was Haley's intention. He cast a quick look over his shoulder when he realized that Haley was no longer holding his hand. He stopped dead in his tracks. She was gone. He was alone and just as confused as ever about where to go and what to do._

* * *

Haley sat the kitchen table doodling in her notebook as she waited for Mrs. Burns to arrive for her home-tutoring session. When she heard the car pull up, she tried to shake off her negativity and put on her happy face. That was what people wanted to see and although she hated doing it, she hated being nagged even more. Haley turned to a fresh page in her notebook and restacked her pile of books, just as Mrs. Burns and her mother walked in.

"How are you doing this week, Haley?" Mrs. Burns asked as she took a seat opposite of her at the table.

"She could be better," Lydia answered.

"Oh," Mrs. Burns said awkwardly. "Well, uh,…are you still expected to be back at school after Thanksgiving break?"

Haley looked hesitantly at her mother. Honestly, she should have already been back to school, but had thrown a fit every time her parents talked about her going back. Going back to that high school, the one that held so many strong memories, was something she was not ready to deal with. She wasn't sure she would ever be. Then, Rachel had come to her rescue. She had started the year a local prestigious private all-girls school. She seemed to love it and was trying to convince Haley to join her.

Haley actually liked the idea, mostly because it would prevent her from going back and having to face those memories. Rachel had convinced her it was the chance for a fresh start and Haley also knew it would be a challenging academic environment. It was the first time that something excited her. The problem was that it was a very expensive school and her family was already in a tight financial situation due to her medical bills.

"We are actually looking into St. Rita's Academy. What do you think?" Lydia asked Mrs. Burns.

"That's a great school! I bet Haley would just love it! It would definitely look good for Stanford…" Mrs. Burns paused and then reached over and squeezed Haley's hand. "I would just hate to lose you!" Haley smiled at her favorite teacher. Mrs. Burns then took back her hand and cleared her throat. "But anyway, yes, I think that would probably be good for Haley."

Lydia nodded seriously. "Okay, well, I'll leave you two. You know by now to help yourself to anything. I'll be in the living room."

"Thanks," Mrs. Burns replied. "So, how are you doing with _Jane Eyre_?"

Haley fidgety nervously and bit her lower lip. "I haven't started it yet," she admitted.

"Oh," Mrs. Burns said surprised. "Wow…Okay, well, what have you done in the past week?"

"I met with one of prosecutors one last time before I testify!" Haley said mocking excitement.

"Oh, boy. I see. That's coming up, soon, huh?"

Haley nodded.

"Well, how did that go?" Mrs. Burns asked.

How did it go? Well, the questioning itself wasn't a problem…it was what she found out when she was there that had nearly destroyed her and completely changed her whole attitude.

* * *

"_Okay, let me…I just have to find your deposition…" _

_Haley watched as the prosecutor put in charge of her deposition, a small mousy young woman with black, wire rimmed glasses and long brown hair that kept falling over her face, Ms. Huxtable, leafed through an extremely thick pile of papers in that were stuffed in a file folder. "Oh, wait. It's with Nathan Scott's. Their depositions were on the same day. What day was that?" Ms. Huxtable asked her assistant._

"_It was in early September."_

"_Right. Okay….Here's Scott's…and yes! Here's yours, Haley." Ms. Huxtable smiled brightly at Haley and saw she was softly crying. Haley felt Ms. Huxtable's hand on her back. "Haley,…honey,…are you okay?"_

_Haley met Ms. Huxtable's eyes and realized for the first time in a while, she wanted to talk. For some reason, it seemed easier to talk to this stranger, than to anyone else. Ms. Huxtable must have sensed this and looked pointedly at her assistant. "Steve? Could you excuse us for a moment?" Steve nodded and promptly exited the room._

"_Let's start over, Haley. You can call me Millie." Millie handed her a fresh glass of water. _

_Haley wiped away a few of her tears and took a sip of the water. "I feel pretty stupid."_

"_Don't. You've been through a lot. I don't think I could have been half as brave as you!"_

"_Ha! I'm not brave. I'm a mess; that's what I am!"_

"_As you should be, Haley. You know, if you don't want to testify—"_

"_No! I do! I want to look him in the eye and tell everyone what he did to me!"_

"_Well, that's good! Maybe it will help you start to move on then." Millie paused and then looked carefully at Haley. "Is it Nathan then?"_

_Haley couldn't help but tear up again. Millie handed her a tissue and waited for her to collect herself. "You talked to him? On the same day as me?" Haley choked out her words._

"_I didn't handle his deposition," Millie began explaining. "I haven't actually directly talked to him, but I did see him. He was here right before you came in and I saw him talking to your mom." Millie looked curiously at a wide-eyed Haley. "Oh, God. Tell me you knew that!" Millie said flustered. "Oh no! I can't believe I did that! I'm so sorry, Haley. I'm so bad at this job!"_

_Now Haley began to feel bad for Millie. It wasn't her fault that her mom had kept his from her. What was even more alarming and hurtful was it was now painfully obvious to Haley that Nathan had no intentions of talking to her. In fact, he probably rushed out of there just to avoid her! Haley had been walking then and there had only been a ten minute period when she wasn't with her mother in the waiting room. It all must have happened when she went to the ladies room. If she had been a little bit faster…if she hadn't had trouble in that damn small stall! Actually, it didn't matter…Nathan didn't want anything to do with her. If he had seen her, he probably would have walked away._

_Anger began building up inside Haley. How dare he do that to her? He didn't visit her in the hospital, call her on her birthday, and now…he had made a run for it when they were in the same building. If the roles were reversed, she would never treat him that way. She could never just cut him off without any explanation. Even when they were having problems, she had still talked to him and returned his calls. She had even told him personally she needed some space. She hadn't just left him hanging._

_She remembered their big fight…That had to be part of the reason he was staying away. He must really be done with her. She had probably pushed him too far during their fight and the few weeks leading up to it. Then there was her role in the attack. She had been the one to jump off the boat…She had swam to area where Damien was…She had taken his hand for help…In the end it was all her fault and she knew at first Nathan had been blamed. He had almost lost his spot at Duke because of it….So Haley came to the conclusion that Nathan must really hate her for what happened…for how much she ruined everything._

_So he wasn't just running away from her, scared…He wasn't coming back. Ever. _

_Always and forever. What a joke._

_Well, if Nathan hated her that much, then there was only one thing left to do…She would hate him back. No more longing…sitting by the phone or computer…watching and waiting…Haley was quitting all of it that this instant._

_Haley looked back up at Millie who had her hands in her head and was now close to tears. _

"_Millie,…it's not your fault. And you are good at your job. I mean, you are the reason I feel so comfortable and ready to testify," Haley said softly. _

"_I am?" Millie asked skeptically._

"_Yes. You've been so kind and patient with me. Exhibit A," Haley said with a slight smile holding up the tissue._

"_Well, that's just my job. I mean, I know they only picked me to handle you because I'm a female."_

"_Really? I thought it was because you were so smart and how you really get people. I mean, you really helped prepare me for that horrible deposition. You told me what to expect…I would have been in shock otherwise. And then just having you there in the room…that helped….and not having my parents there…thank God you suggested they just stay outside! That just made it so much easier."_

"_Again, Haley, that's my job!" Millie shrugged off the compliment._

"_Well, sitting here with my while I am crying, blabbering idiot isn't!"_

"_Actually, I believe it is. That's how I got into this job." _

_Millie looked at Haley shyly and Haley knew she was hesitant to continue. "Tell me," Haley prodded her._

"_For the longest time I wanted to be a model, but once I hit puberty, I realized that wasn't going to happen! I mean, look at me…I'm not exactly the model type." _

"_I think you have pretty eyes," Haley said honestly. Sure, this young woman didn't having the model look that someone like Rachel had, but she did have some beautiful features. They were just all covered up by her long hair._

"_Thanks," Millie said touched. "Anyway, when I was fifteen, my parents got this horrible divorce; it was real nasty. So they had this big, long drawn out custody fight for me and my brother and the whole time I just kept thinking…why isn't anyone asking me what I want? And the lawyers…they all seemed so cold and used all this legal jargon when talking to us…and my mom and dad's lawyers were ultra-competitive…they acted like they were trying to win a competition! They had no interest in us kids. We were just bargaining chips for them…That's when I became interested in law and trying to help people like me, who needed a lawyer that can deal with children as well as adults."_

"_So what happened with the custody battle?"_

"_Eventually, I went to judge and got myself legally emancipated so I didn't have to go with either one of them."_

"_Wow! I didn't know you could do that."_

"_Neither did I, until I looked into it. It was tough for a while, but I don't regret it. Eventually my brother moved in with me and we are still roommates even today!" Haley smiled and then began thinking about Millie's story. A second later, Millie broke her trance. "What is it, Haley? I know you have a question brewing in your mind."_

"_I don't want to get too personal."_

"_We are already way past that, Haley. Plus, you have already told me some of the most intimate details of your life, remember? It's only fair, so ask away!"_

"_Well, I guess I don't understand what you are doing here, working as a prosecutor. And I don't like how you said they only picked you because you're a female. Why don't you go start up your law firm or something?"_

_Millie laughed softly. "I wish it were that easy, Haley. Unfortunately, I need to get some experience first and it isn't easy to find a job without experience. You have to start somewhere, right?"_

"_But one day you will right?"_

"_I hope so. I really don't want to be stuck here."_

"_You better. I've heard stories about what you've talked about. There are definitely kids out there that need someone looking out for them." Haley couldn't help but think of Rachel and Nathan and the toll their parent's divorce took on them. She wondered if it would have helped if Nathan knew about the emancipation thing. Then again, he had always tried to spend as much time as possible at her house and that seemed to help._

_As if reading her mind, Millie said, "Let me guess…you're talking about Nathan, right?" Haley nodded. "Want to know a secret, one I definitely shouldn't be telling you… In fact, it's one I haven't told anyone except my brother?" Haley nodded again. "I really wanted to handle Nathan's deposition and testimony. There was just something about him I thought I could relate to. I guess he reminds me of my brother in a way." _

"_I think you would have been good for him. Nathan's always had trouble opening up and just needs a push some times," Haley softly explained._

"_Well, I think Mr. Kline, my boss, has been doing a good job with him. Anyway, we've been trying to get in touch with him to go over some things with him, just like we are with you, but he hasn't returned any of our calls. Any idea what's going on?"_

"_No, we haven't talked," Haley answered stoically._

"_We've only been trying for a few days…I hope everything's okay."_

"_I wouldn't know. Maybe you should ask my mom," Haley said sarcastically._

_Picking up on Haley's tone, Millie pressed her further. "Haley, exactly how long has it been since you talked?"_

"_Since the day of the attack."_

_Millie's mouth dropped open. "No!" She said in disbelief. _

_Haley simply shrugged. It was the truth._

"_How could that be?"_

"_You'll have to ask him that and believe me, I wish you would. You know, Millie, I think you should speak up to your boss. I'm telling you, I think you would have been perfect for taking on Nathan. I bet you would see through all his crap."_

"_Maybe I'll get my chance…We still have some time. Okay, we really need to get to work now. I want to go through my questions one more time."_

"_Okay, I'm ready."_

_Millie stood up. "I'll get Steve." Millie paused and looked back at Haley seriously. "There's just one thing I want to let you know, Haley. You got a raw deal, but if you can use that in positive way,…maybe help others? I don't know. I just know that I never imagined I'd be a lawyer, but now, there's nothing I want more…Even if I suck at it."_

"_I promise you, you don't," Haley said warmly._

* * *

"Okay, our time is just about up, Haley!" Mrs. Burns said cheerfully. "Oh, wait, before I forget, I have a belated birthday present for you. It's something that I hope will put a smile on your face." Mrs. Burns bent over and began to look through her book bag.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Haley said feeling guilty.

"I didn't," Mrs. Burns said as she handed Haley a sealed envelope. "You can open it later." Haley took the enveloped and looked at her curiously. "It's a copy of one of Nathan's college application essays that he asked me to proofread." Haley immediately rolled her eyes and threw the envelope down. "It was about the person who inspired him the most…" Mrs. Burns looked at her directly. "It was about you."

Haley felt her heart drop. She didn't want this; not now anyway. Not when she was just staring to make some progress in getting over him. "You shouldn't have given me this. If he wanted me to read it, he would have given it to me himself."

"You're right, Haley, but somehow, with all that's happened, I can't help but feel it's the right thing to do."

Haley picked up the envelope and began to think about what he wrote. Butterflies formed in her stomach and then in a flash her emotions shifted. She had just caught herself getting her hopes up. Without thinking about it anymore, Haley ripped up the envelope, effectively getting rid of any temptation to actually read it.

Mrs. Burns looked at her dismayed. "Okay, maybe that was a bad idea….but it was just a copy. If you ever change your mind—"

"I won't," Haley quickly assured her.

The phone rang which diverted their attention from the tension filling the room.

"Well, I better get going. Good work today and I wish you well testifying." Mrs. Burns gathered her things and prepared to leave.

"Thanks. The prosecutor I worked with did a good job preparing me and at this point I just want to get it over with."

"From what I hear, that will be soon. I guess they are moving right along. Then, you'll have no excuse for skipping out on _Jane Eyre_!" Mrs. Burns lightly teased her.

"I guess," Haley agreed. The problem hadn't really been finding the time to read it; it was always more about the content. The last thing she wanted to do was read some gothic romance novel when she felt she was in the midst of living one.

As soon as Mrs. Burns left the house, Haley heard her mother gasp loudly and scream from the other room.

"No! Oh, my God!" Lydia cried out gutturally.

Haley stood up but found herself unable to go any further. Then, from where she was standing, she saw her mother run over and lock the front door. Lydia then flew into the kitchen and locked the door in there that lead out to the backyard. By the time she had finished, flashing blue lights filled the kitchen. From the reflections in the window, she could see that there were two police cruisers sitting in her driveway.

"Mom?"

"The phone! Where did I put the phone?" Lydia frantically ran into the other room and returned a second later with the phone.

"The police are here! Oh, my God! Where is Jimmy?" Lydia spoke into the phone.

The doorbell rang and Lydia hastily ended the call.

Lydia opened the door just a crack. "Yes?"

"Ma'am? I'm here from the Tree Hill police and we're keeping a car out here for your protection. There are two suspects in a shooting that are missing and we have reason to believe that you may be a target. Please stay inside and DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR until we tell you to? Is that clear?"

"Yes," Lydia answered sternly. She closed the door and turned around and nearly knocked Haley over. "Haley, baby, you walked over here?"

Haley nodded as that realization sunk in. She hadn't even realized she done that either. "Shooting, Mom?"

Lydia looked at her gravely. "Let's go into the living room and sit down."

Haley didn't want to move, but she felt her knees beginning to cave in. She stumbled over to the couch and took a seat. Lydia sat down next to her and put her arm around her shoulders. "What's going on, Mom? Where's Dad?"

"I'm not sure yet, but Karen thinks he's okay."

"That was Karen?" Haley felt her heart thumping in her chest. "What shooting, Mom?"

"It was Nathan—"

"No!" Haley pushed her mother's arm off of her and sprung up. "Don't tell me that! I don't believe you!"

"Haley, I don't know all the details yet….it was at the courtroom, during a recess—"

"Damien shot him, Mom?" Haley threw her hands over her face as this news sunk in. "Oh, my God, Mom? This is all because of me! How could this happen? Weren't there people watching out for him?"

"I don't know, Haley," Lydia sobbed as she watched her daughter process this news.

"Turn on the tv!" Haley demanded.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Haley. Maybe we should wait for your father—"

Without thinking, Haley walked over and picked up the remote off the tv and turned it on herself. She sank down in the reclining chair as she read the captions that were scrolling across the bottom of the screen on the local news station.

_Breaking News: Nathan Scott, son of former Mayor Dan Scott, was shot by an unknown assailant… Scott is in critical condition and being flown to Charlotte Medical…The unknown perpetrator and Damien West have evaded the police and whereabouts are currently unknown… Please contact the local authorities with any information…_

Haley waited for more information, but the message just began to repeat itself. Apparently, all they could do was wait.

* * *

"Jimmy!" Lydia flew into Jimmy's arms before he was even through the front door.

When Lydia pulled away, Haley just stood there unable to move. All she could see were the bloodstains on her father's shirt.

In the hour since they found out the news, Haley had found herself in shock. Despite their best efforts, the news reporters didn't have any new information and were growing even more desperate. There was a small group that was camped outside their house and they had to take their phone off the hook due to the badgering. This just left them to rely on the tv and their silent cell phones. All of this just left Haley on edge, waiting for news. When she saw that blood though, it all became real to her, and once she started crying, she found it hard to stop.

Jimmy followed Haley's eyes to his shirt and was overcome with emotion. He fought back his own tears and made a move to comfort his daughter, but Haley took a step back.

"Th-that's his blood, isn't it?" Haley cried out hysterically. "Tell me, he's alive, Daddy! Tell me, he's going to be okay!"

"Haley— " Jimmy began taking another step towards Haley.

"TELL ME!" Haley screamed.

"He's alive, Haley, but I don't know any more than that—"

Haley began sobbing uncontrollably and felt her knees beginning to give out. She let her father pick her up and gently carry her up the stairs to her bedroom. After he laid her down on her bed, Haley was finally calm enough to let her father talk to her. "I'm okay, now. Can you tell me, what happened?"

"He said some things during his testimony that Damien didn't like…I saw what you were talking about Haley….Everyone did…He was uncontrollable…As soon as he had a chance, he just lunged at Nathan and they crashed through a glass window with everyone watching—"

"But how did he get a gun?"

"He wasn't the one who shot him."

"Daunte," Haley whispered, knowing in her heart that it had to be him, and the work of Mr. West.

"Yeah, that's the guy. None of us knew who he was and at first it looked like he was helping him…There was glass everywhere and…I shouldn't have listened to him…I shouldn't have stayed back, but I did, until I saw the gun—"

"You were there?"

"I was right there, Haley. I was going to talk to him. I was going to set things straight. Then I tried to warn him." Jimmy shook his head disappointedly. "That's why I was tied up with the police for so long and that's," Jimmy paused and took a breath, "the reason for the blood on my shirt."

"How did he get away?"

"Well, I kicked the gun away from Daunte, I guess, but not before he got a shot in—a good one too—then he ran towards a car that was waiting for him….and I had to choose Haley,…I couldn't help but think of him and it was like I knew how he felt when he found you…it was like I wanted to do two things at once…I wanted to tackle that monster and I could have if I moved fast…or I could have tried to help Nathan…No one was even going near him…it was like they were all scared and in shock…and he was bleeding…"

"So you helped Nathan…"

"I had to. I felt like it was my son lying there…I was so wrong about him, Haley…I was just so angry about what happened to you—"

"Jimmy," Lydia said sharply from the doorway. "We need to talk. Let Haley get some rest."

"I don't need any rest!" Haley protest. "I want to hear the rest."

"You will, but I need to talk to your father right now so just sit tight. I promise I'll let you know if we hear anything else," Lydia assured her.

Before Haley could protest any further, her father gave her a quick hug and kiss and left the room. A few seconds later, Haley heard the door to her parent's bedroom shut. Desperate to know what they were talking about, Haley used all her energy to quietly make her way down the hallway. Once outside her parent's room, she leaned against the wall and began to eavesdrop on their conversation. It wasn't that hard to do, since both of them were speaking loudly.

"It was horrible, Lyd. I mean, I can't fucking believe no one was there for that kid! God, he looked so lost. It was just like when he used to show up on Sunday mornings with our newspaper. I never could understand why he wanted from us, but now I do. That poor kid didn't have a chance with that family! I mean, where the hell was Deb? What about Keith or Karen or Coop?"

"Lily's sick—"

"What about Deb? You know, _his mother_? At least Dan has an excuse, even if it is because he's behind bars!"

"I don't know, Jimmy. I haven't talked to Deb in sometime…The last time was about St. Rita's and even then she didn't mention Nathan once…I bet she's in Charlotte which is good because she can get to the hospital…How bad was it, Jimmy?"

"Bad…"

"How bad?"

"I don't know, Lyd. I don't know if he's going to pull through." Even through the door, Haley could hear her father's voice trembling. "There was just so much blood…The bullet when right through his stomach and out his back! Then, there was all this glass too—"

"Stop! I don't want to hear anymore!"

"What are you doing?" Jimmy asked loudly.

"I'm getting my things. I'm taking Haley to Charlotte."

"Lydia, I don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't care what you think!" Lydia screamed emotionally. "I made her a promise and I'll be damned if I break it!"

"Let me do it," Jimmy said softly.

"What?"

"Let me take her. I need to this, Lydia…Please let me do this."

"Well, I'll come then…"

"No…This isn't just about Haley, Lydia. This is for us, too. I need you to trust me again…to let me be alone with our daughter and make things right."

Haley had no idea what her father meant by this. In fact, it was only when he said this that she realized that tension existed between her parents and how her mother hovered over her. There were definitely things going on with her parent's marriage that she hadn't been aware of. Hearing her parents finish up their conversation, Haley made her way back to her bedroom just as her father appeared at her doorway.

"You want to go to Charlotte?"

"Yes," Haley said clearly.

"It's going to be hard, Haley. Maybe the hardest thing you've ever done..."

"I know. I want to go."

"Jimmy, give me a few minutes, will you?" Lydia asked popping up beside him.

Jimmy left the room and Lydia took a seat on her bed. "Listen to me, Haley. You stay strong for him…Give him a reason to fight…and stay positive. Can you do that?" Haley nodded. Lydia reached over and stroked her hair lovingly. "Whatever you do, don't say goodbye…Okay? Don't give him any reason to leave us…" Haley nodded again wanting so much to believe that she was in fact going to see Nathan to get him to fight to live instead of saying goodbye.

* * *

"Take your time, Haley," Jimmy said softly as he reached out for Haley.

"I'm fine!" Haley snapped, brushing his arm away as a bead of sweat fell down her face. Now that she had set her mind to it, she had been able to walk without freezing up or thinking too much about it. Her problem now was that because she had taken a break from her physical therapy exercises and using those muscles, she found they had atrophied, and her right knee in particular kept giving her problems. Still, she was determined to make it down the corridor to Nathan's room on her own, something her father had just refused to understand.

Five minutes later, they made it to the ICU waiting room, where they found Rachel, Coop, Lucas and Keith. They all stood up once they spotted Jimmy and Haley.

Once Haley saw Rachel and Lucas, she teared up as they wordlessly shared their grief. Haley hugged Rachel first and then Lucas.

"I'm going to get my mom," Rachel said, wiping away a tear. "She's in with him."

Haley took a seat on one the chairs and Lucas sat down beside her.

"How is he?" Jimmy finally asked.

"He's in pretty rough shape," Keith explained. "Luckily, the bullet didn't hit any vital organs, but he has some internal bleeding and he's on a ventilator."

"What does that mean?" Haley asked desperately.

"He can't breathe on his own," Coop said sadly.

"Has he been conscious?" Jimmy asked.

"No," Keith answered. "Look, I don't know how else to say this but,…it's touch and go here…The next few hours are going to tell us a lot…and then we may have to make some tough decisions—"

"What do you mean? You don't mean you're going to give up on him?" Haley asked frantically.

"We don't know, Haley,...but,…he has to be able to breathe on his own," Coop explained.

Haley suddenly stood up. "Are you serious? Don't any of you know him?" She gritted out through her clenched jaw. "He's a fighter! He's the strongest person I know! If anyone can make it through this, HE CAN!" Haley's face was beet read, and a few more beads of dripped down her face.

"You're right, Haley," Keith softly agreed.

They all looked up as Rachel returned. "My mom said you can come in. I'll take you there. We just have to get buzzed in."

Haley slowly sat back down, suddenly feeling dizzy and fatigued. "I can't right now. Just give me a minute."

Jimmy looked at Haley. "Do you mind if I go first? I'd like to see him alone for a minute. I have some things I need to say."

Haley looked deep into her father's eyes. She had never seen him so serious. "Okay."

Rachel led Jimmy out of the room and Haley looked over at Coop and Keith.

"Hey, would you like a drink of water, Haley?" Coop asked graciously. Haley nodded.

"I'll show you were you can get it," Keith said as he followed him out the room.

Haley was grateful to be alone with Lucas. Over the past several months, he was her only real true connection with Nathan. Rachel refused to talk about him and eventually Haley had given up trying to get information about him from her. It was different with Lucas. Lucas always just listened to her, patiently answered her questions, and always tried to make her feel good.

"When did you get here?" Haley asked him.

"About forty-five minutes ago. We left as soon as we could. I just got finished seeing him."

"And?" Haley pressed him for more information.

"He doesn't look good. He's as white as a ghost and has this tube in his mouth…The worst part is that it doesn't even look like he's there…"

"But he is, right? I mean he's not brain dead, right? He can hear us?"

"I don't know. I think it's too early to tell." Lucas paused and then looked curiously at Haley. "What about you? Could you hear us when you were in the hospital?"

"I don't remember," Haley said miserably. She was in so much pain and on so much medication then that it was all a blur. She was only left with vague images and partial memories. The only thing she vividly remembered from that time was having a dream about her piano recital that ended with Nathan dressed in Lucas' clothes by her hospital bed. But she knew that Nathan hadn't visited her in the hospital. Rachel had told her that much and so she knew it was all some crazy dream.

"Well, maybe he can," Lucas said hopefully.

Haley looked at Lucas and could sense that there was something he was still holding something back. "What is it, Luke?"

Lucas shifted nervously. "Look, I get what you were saying about Nathan being a fighter and all, but…he hasn't been like that in a while. In fact, he's been just the opposite….I'm scared, Hales. I'm scared that he's in such a bad place, that…" Lucas filled up with tears, struggling to finish his sentence. "He's…not going to…make it," Lucas choked out through a sob.

Haley rubbed his back, but refused to engage in his crying. Sure, she hadn't seen Nathan in a while, but everyone was underestimating him. Haley was still convinced that despite their time apart, she knew him best. "Well, he is," Haley said confidently. "I just know it."

* * *

Doubts began to creep into Haley's mind as she tenaciously entered Nathan's hospital room. Rachel had walked her in there and asked if she wanted her to stay, but Haley told her she wanted to be alone with him. As she slowly took a seat on the chair pulled up to his bed, she momentarily began to regret her decision. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all…

Haley's doubts stemmed from the fact that over the last six months, Nathan hadn't wanted to see her. If he didn't want to see when he was awake, why would he want to see her now? Knowing him as she did, he probably wouldn't. He would probably throw a fit if he knew she was there. Maybe that was just what he needed…

"Nathan," Haley said tauntingly. "It's me, Haley. I'm here…I know you don't want me to be here, but I am…" Haley reached over and took hold of his hand. "Do you feel this? I'm holding your hand…now I'm squeezing it and you can't even fight back. Come on, Nathan, don't let me show you up! Squeeze it back!" Haley waited for a minute for a response, but got none.

Sadness began to weigh down Haley's heart as she looked at the boy she loved and saw just his shell of a body lying there. Maybe Lucas was right. It just didn't look like he was fighting. He had the tube taped to his mouth and his chest was going up and down, but otherwise he was just so still… She began to wonder if she had looked like this too. Then, her mother's words came back to her. She needed to be positive. She needed to give him reasons to wake up.

Haley began to gather her thoughts and then cast them aside, instead choosing to speak from her heart. "Nathan, I love you so much…I know you're not crazy about me right now, but I just need you to know that. I need you to know that you saved my life that day and I'll never forget that…and I'll never stop loving you. _Not ever_. So, if you won't wake up to kick me out of here, then _wake up for yourself_, because you still have so much to live for…Rachel needs you…You need to see Lily grow up, Lucas still needs you to dress him, and Brooke needs you to do that too….Then there's basketball!…You need to wake up so you can keep your spot as a Blue Devil. Do you really want anyone to take your spot? You need to play during March Madness, then get drafted to the NBA …Maybe the Celtics…Or the Knicks… Even the Lakers…I don't care. I just want to see you living _your dream_, Nathan, because the truth is, _I can't live without you. I just can't_."

Haley didn't know where these words were coming from that were just pouring out of her. She could feel them deeply as she said them, but didn't feel in control of what she was saying. She felt like she was losing it as she tried to fight back the tears. She just wanted to be strong, like her mom said. Instead, she found herself blabbering away and if that wasn't enough to make Nathan wake up and snap at her, then nothing would.

Except maybe one last thing. Maybe what he really wanted and needed was for her to let go. For good.

Haley sat straight up, still holding on to his hand, and looked at him seriously. She cleared her throat and began to speak calmly and clearly. "Okay, here's the thing, Nathan. Obviously you and I are no good together. I can see that now. We just hurt each other and bad things happen and I don't want that for either of us. I don't want this to hurt so much, but the thing is, like I said, I need you here, on _this planet_, _with me_. I just need you to live. We don't have to be together. I'll do my thing and you do yours and we'll both be okay." Haley tried to convince herself this was true. Maybe it could be for him, but not for her. Then again, if he didn't make it- she just couldn't deal with that…Haley regrouped again, but felt her resolve beginning to weaken. "I just love you so much, Nathan…please, I'm begging you. If I ever meant anything to you, just wake up. _I promise I'll stay away after that. I will_. Okay?"

Haley looked again closely at him. She wanted nothing more than to go over and put her head on his chest and hear the beating of his heart. She knew this was not possible though considering his injuries. But she couldn't shake her need to touch him in some way, even if it was more for her own benefit than his.

She stood up and brought herself close to him. She reached over and brushed her fingers through some of dark hair. She traced her finger over that freckle just below his eye. She watched his eyes, wishing they would just open so she could see those blue eyes that always made everything right for her. She cupped his cheek and then gave him a soft kiss. Then she just stood there, holding his hand, watching him; willing all of her energy and love to him.

Haley jumped as she heard a knock on the door, followed by Deb and Jimmy coming in. She kept hold of his hand and sank back into her chair.

"Okay, Haley. We have to go now. Say goodbye," Jimmy tensely instructed her.

Hearing that word…goodbye…trigged something in Haley. She wasn't ready to leave; not yet.

"No," Haley said defiantly.

"Haley, it's getting late…" Jimmy urged her.

"I don't care. I'm not saying goodbye and I'm not leaving," Haley said digging her heels in.

"Haley, honey," Deb said nicely, " don't make this any harder than it has to be…We're all taking our turns saying goodbye just in case—"

Haley's eyes flew open at Deb's insinuation. That was the kind of goodbye they were talking about? Not the 'hey I'm leaving goodbye' but 'goodbye because you're dying.' Now, Haley was just as determined as to prevent Nathan from hearing those kinds of things. Her mother was right. Nathan needed nothing but reasons to live and positive energy. Deb was just plain wrong.

"I'M NOT SAYING GOODBYE!" Haley shouted at the top of her lungs.

Deb and Jimmy looked at each stunned.

"Haley, you're making a scene here," Jimmy said seriously. "I mean, Mrs. Scott was nice enough to let you come in—"

"Nice enough! Ha!" Haley scoffed. "She's going to let him die, I just know it! I won't let that happen. He's going to wake up and I'm going to laugh at all of you!—"

"I hope you're right, Haley, but all I'm doing is listening to the doctor's and right now—"

"I don't care about doctors! I only know what I feel." Haley looked at them seriously. "Can't you feel it? Can't you feel how he's struggling? That he doesn't know which way to go?"

They both looked at her blankly.

"CAN'T YOU?" Haley yelled startling them.

Now they were looking at her like she was crazy.

Jimmy began to gingerly walk towards her, causing Haley to push her chair right up against the bed. "Haley Bob…"

"Don't call me that! I told you; I'M NOT LEAVING!"

"Haley, you can't stay. Even if you wanted to, visiting hours are ending and only immediate family can stay." Haley refused to look at her father and instead closed her eyes and put all her energy into squeezing Nathan's hands. She silently began begging Nathan to help her out of this horribly dramatic situation.

"I'm not leaving," Haley repeated calmly through her pursed lips.

"I can't take this Jimmy," Deb said sobbing. "She has to go. Get her out of here!"

"Haley!" Jimmy snapped loudly. "You are leaving, if I have to take you kicking and screaming out of here, I will!"

"Then that's what you'll have to do because—"

Haley wasn't able to finish her words as Jimmy pushed her chair back and scooped her up in his arms. True to her words, Haley began hitting him with her arms and yelled out for him to stop. She continued hitting and yelling until they made it to the elevator.

"Put me down," Haley said feeling exhausted.

"Are you going to continue to act like a child?"

Haley felt slightly embarrassed at her father's accusation. "I'm just so tired, Daddy. I can't fight anymore. Just put me down."

Jimmy put her down just as the elevator doors opened. Haley grabbed her father's arm and let him pull her into the elevator. Just when the doors were about to close, a hand flew in, and the doors reopened to a frantic Deb.

"He's awake!" Deb said breathlessly. "He just woke up. Haley, you need to come back—"

Haley processed these words over and over in her mind. He was awake. He had woken up after she left. He must have heard her. But if he heard her, if her message got through to him, then he wasn't awake because he wanted to see her.

Haley had promised him differently. If he was going to live, she was going to stay away. They would live separate lives. Both of them would eventually stop hurting. She would let go…as long as he was alive.

"Let's go, Dad," Haley said reaching for the elevator button.

"Haley—" Jimmy and Deb began to protest at the same time.

"I can't go back," Haley said as both physical and mental exhaustion began to fill her body.

"Haley," Deb said in a nasty tone, "if you don't stop messing around, I will never forgive you! You understand? This is my son's life we're talking about, you selfish—"

The elevator doors closed and Haley was grateful she didn't have to listen to the rest of what Deb had to say. Haley leaned into her father's arms.

Once they reached the main floor, Jimmy steadied Haley and walked her out but then stood her still and looked at her seriously.

"Haley, I want you to think about this carefully. Do you really want to leave?"

No, Haley thought to herself, but that was her heart talking. Her mind was still stuck on her promise to Nathan. "I just want to go home," Haley conceded, causing her heart to break. She never realized just how much she loved him until she had to let him go.

* * *

"Boo!"

Haley looked up from her book and saw Lucas standing in her doorway. She smiled for a second and then furrowed her eyebrows. "Did my mom let you in?"

"Yeah, but I would have busted in any way since you wouldn't return any of my calls." Haley put her book down and pushed over as Lucas sat down next to her on her bed. "What gives, Hales? Are you mad at me?"

"No," Haley said quickly. "I'm just going through some things right now and I thought it would be easier if we didn't talk."

"It's been two weeks! How long is this thing going to last, Hales, because I got to tell you- I miss you…" Lucas said earnestly.

Haley felt a tug in her heart as she looked at his sparkling blue eyes. She just couldn't help how those eyes reminded her of Nathan's. Still, ignoring Lucas wasn't right and she knew that. He didn't deserve it and he was admittedly persistent, so Haley decided it was time to be as honest as possible.

"I miss you too, Lucas, but I'm just not sure I can be around you right now. I'm hurting so much and you just remind me…"

"He's doing better you know. He still can't feel his legs, but they think he can make a full recovery. Basketball—"

"Stop!" Haley interrupted him. She closed her eyes and tried to push away the mental images that were forming in her mind of Nathan in that hospital bed. She opened her eyes and took Lucas' hand and looked him in the eye. "This is what I mean, Luke. I don't want to hear about him. I can't. It hurts too much. If our friendship has any chance of surviving this, we can't talk about him."

"Haley, I know you're hurting, but you can't just not talk about it."

"I can't talk about it with you, Luke. You're too close with him. I can feel it and I don't want to feel that. Our friendship has to be about us, and he has to be left out of it."

"Are you asking me to choose, Haley? I don't really think that's fair—"

"No, but if feel like you have to, then I'm telling you to choose him."

"What? Haley! You're not serious! I've been friends with you since 7th grade!" Lucas protested.

"I know, but I have plenty of people to talk to. I have my sisters, Brooke, and Peyton, my mom, even Rachel and he…he has trouble talking, Luke. You know that, but I also know he talks to you and I don't want that to stop. He needs someone he can go to."

"He has his Uncle Coop and my dad.—"

"It's not the same! You're like a brother to him, Luke. So, let him talk to you. Hell, I don't even care if you talk about me; I just don't want to hear about it. In fact, I don't want you to mention him to me again."

"What if he needs you, Haley? What if he's not doing good—"

"Rachel will tell me. If want to know anything or if I need to know anything, Rachel will tell me. I trust her."

"And you don't trust me?"

"It's not that, Luke. I just think you're biased and a little idealistic. I mean, that's one of the things I love about you! But Rachel,….she's going to tell me the truth, whether I want to hear it or not and right now, that's what I need. I'm going to be going to St. Rita's with her...I need to move on, Luke, and right now that means I don't want to think about him."

Lucas sighed heavily as he thought about what she said. "Okay," he said resignedly. "But I am not giving up my friendship with you, Hales. If this is how it has to be, then fine. For now anyway, but if something changes and you want to talk, the door's always open."

Haley didn't bother to argue with him. She smiled and hugged him tight, not letting him know that she was trying her hardest to slam that door shut.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Romeo and Juliet" (The Killers)

AN: Thank you for all the reviews! I'm fully aware I'm frustrating many of you! Sorry! I knew that would happen. I just hope you trust me.

**Spoiler Alerts **for below:

The good news is-_the worst is over_! The next chapter was one of my favorites to write. I actually wrote it while in Wilmington, NC (not doing any OTH stuff though, but was inspired). Also, here is a little psy 101. Nathan is not going to remember the glimpse of his subconscious we got to see. He was just too out of it and that was in deep layer of his subconscious, whereas Haley was in a medically induced coma that was wearing off. I hope that makes sense.

Next we flashforward to April of Haley's junior year in college. That leaves us just shy of five years since the beating. I'm staying away from using precise years because I don't want to trap myself like OTH did. Now, think back to the title of the story…For the four years I've skipped over, Naley have truly tried to live "without" each other. You will see how that went in the next two chapters. I will caution you that you may not like some of what you read, but they were both really trying to move on. Don't worry though…I am Naley fan and there are some things I just won't write in detail. It is part of their journey though and that is explained fully in future chapters.

Lastly, if you listen to just one song from this story, listen to the one for the next chapter! The Killers version is a cover. It's my favorite, but Matt Nathanson has a good one too. If you listen to the lyrics, you will get a clear sense of where the story is going in general…and you can also speculate about what kind of "love song" Nathan could have for Haley, which is in the next chapter.


	47. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 46: "Romeo and Juliet" (The Killers)

Nathan got off the bus with his teammates and headed into the stadium. To say he was pumped up was an understatement. His emotions were indescribable. This is was what he had been working so hard for over the past four years and now it was finally here. He was about to head into the locker room as the starting point guard for the Duke Blue Devils during the NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship game. It was like a dream come true. A dream that almost didn't come true…But in the end, basketball hadn't failed him. It was still the one thing he knew he could rely on; his one constant in life.

There were many factors that got Nathan to this point and he was fully aware of all of them. First, there was the support of his family and friends. His immediate family these days consisted pretty much of his Uncle Keith and Aunt Karen, who were like his surrogate parents since his own mother barely kept in touch with him and his father was in jail serving out a ten year sentence for second degree murder. There was a chance Dan could get out in a year for good behavior, which was something Nathan wasn't ready to think about. Dan hadn't let him visit and Nathan had no idea what would happened when he finally did get out. So he tried his best to put that part of his life, his "troubled childhood" as the press had dubbed it, behind him.

Along with his uncle and aunt, came Lucas and Lily, and when he spent the holidays with them, he honestly could say he felt like part of that family. Lucas and Lily were like his siblings and of all the people in his life, Lucas was the person he was closest to. He was not only like a brother, but he was his best friend. With Lucas living in New York attending New York University, the distance took a slight toll on their relationship, but they both still managed to visit each other as often as they could and remained in constant contact.

His biological sibling, Rachel, was a different story. Much like in their childhood, Rachel was aligning herself with people that wanted nothing to do with him. Today that included his own mother, but most of all, it included Haley. Rachel and Haley were roommates sharing an apartment together, which basically meant that Nathan's contact with his sister was pretty much non-existent.

Another person he was grateful to for his support, was his long-time childhood friend Jake. Although he was living in Savannah with Peyton, they had remained close. Nathan knew anytime he needed anything, all he had to do was pick up the phone and Jake would be there. Most of the time he didn't need to though. Jake was usually one step ahead of him.

The biggest source of inspiration in Nathan's recovery had come from a surprising place; his former basketball coach, Whitey. Whitey had taken Nathan under his wing and helped convince him to give basketball another shot. He had told him that despite all publicity of the trial and shooting, which made national headlines with the disappearance of Damien, Daunte and then Tim, all people wanted was a comeback story. Everyone loved underdogs and there was no doubt Nathan Scott was one of those. After taking a year off from college and losing his position on Duke's team, he had to earn his way back, one step at a time. He was lucky that Duke and his coaches gave him the chance to do so, but it was Whitey who helped him with the mental aspects of getting back into the game.

Nathan was convinced his physical recovery mostly had been due to pure luck. Yes, it had sucked. It had been hard. It had taken up almost a year of his life. He wanted to give up many times and was lucky to have people in his life that pushed him. Still, it was simply a miracle that he survived being shot at point-blank range in the stomach.

Then, there was the issue of the glass that hit his spinal cord from being thrust threw the window by Damien. In some ways, that had been the more severe injury since the damage to the spinal cord had led to some long-term damage. It had even initially paralyzed him. The doctors had told him there was only a slim chance he would ever be able to play basketball and he should just focus on learning to walk again. This wasn't good enough for Nathan.

There was _a voice_ inside him that kept telling him to go back to basketball; _a voice_ that told him to follow his dream. And he listened to _that voice_.

He learned as much as he could from the doctors and worked daily with physical therapists. Sometimes these sessions didn't involve any physical work. Nathan found himself fascinated by what had happened to his body and how it was recovering. He became very close with some of those therapists and would often just hang around and watch them work with other patients. That was another source of inspiration for him.

Even when the doctors finally cleared him to play again, it had come with a high risk. There was a higher chance of reinjury and every time Nathan took the court, he was risking ending up back in that wheelchair, maybe for good. This was news that Nathan kept to himself. Only his doctors and coaches knew. As long as Nathan was informed of those risks, he could play. Well, Nathan was willing to take those risks. After all, basketball was his reason for living these days.

As they reached the locker room entrance, the Duke cheerleaders were lined up on both sides of the entrance, cheering them on as they walked down the hall. Nathan grinned at every one of them, until one of them pulled him aside. That he didn't like.

"Hey, Nate," a voluptuous brunette purred, "are we up for an encore tonight?"

"No, Tanya," Nathan hissed at her. "You know the rules. You only get one shot with me."

"But you had fun, didn't you?" Tanya said with a flirtatious smile as she rubbed up against him.

"No, _you had fun_," Nathan smugly corrected her as he gently pushed her aside. He then sprinted ahead to catch up with the rest of the teammates, fully satisfied when he heard Tanya calling him an asshole.

That was fine with him. That's what he was aiming for. With every girl he was with, he always carefully laid out the rules. Most of the time, they thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. Most of them found that out the hard way. Now he had a reputation for breaking hearts with his series of one-night stands, but even that didn't seem to matter to some girls. He found that the girls that threw themselves at him actually believed in some way they could get him to break the rules; his own rules! They thought they could change him; they could break the bad boy and make him good! Some of them saw this as a challenge! Nathan and his teammates laughed about this, because as everyone knew, both on and off the court, when Nathan set his mind to something, that was it and it included his rules when dealing with women.

"Hey, Romeo, you dog! I remember when you were timid little freshmen scared of girls, hiding out in our dorm room!"

Nathan spun around to see his old roommate Nino, standing at the top of the entrance to the locker rooms.

"Hey!" Nathan greeted him with a fist bump and pat on the back. "What the hell are you doing here? Trying to relieve your glory days?"

"Layla's out saving my seat but I guess alumni get locker room perks. I'm just here to make sure you're doing good with my position!"

"Your position? Point guard was always my position! You just got lucky I got redshirted and took a year off so I could teach you everything I know!" When Nathan had taken his year off, Duke had desperately still needed a back-up point guard and so Nino gladly stepped up to take Nathan's position. Then, when Nathan returned a year later, the coaches didn't want to shift things again and they were still unsure about Nathan's ability to play. Nathan understood this, so he so had worked with Nino, who went back to being his roommate again, so that Nino could become the starting point guard for his last two years at Duke. That left Nathan as Nino's back up. Then, when Nino graduated last year, Nathan had finally been able to get back his position.

"Damn straight!" Nino laughed. "We all know I was just keeping that spot warm for you!"

Nathan looked at Nino curiously. By now he knew Nino very well, and he was being way too nice to him. "What's up, Nino?" Nathan asked suspiciously.

"What? I told you. I was just taking advantage of my alumni perks. It's too bad I graduated last year, because you and I would have torn up the court if we played together like we were supposed to! I mean, I can't deny we didn't get this far last year. You're paving the way for this team to—"

Now, Nino had paid him just one complement too many. Something was definitely going on here. Nathan crossed his arms and looked at Nino knowingly. "Alumni perks, my ass. Coach K asked you to talk to me, didn't he?"

"Uh,…well,…" Nino stammered with guilt splashed across his face. "See the thing is Nate, I was watching that Sweet Sixteen game and there was no reason for that flagrant technical foul against Tony Battle—"

"That was a bad call!" Nathan loudly protested. "He was taunting me! It's not my fault the ref needed a new hearing aid!"

"That's the other thing, Nate. I know Tony and I thought you did too. You went to High Flyers with him, right?"

"That was a long time ago."

"Yeah, well, I thought you were friends and so did he. He's a nice guy, Nate, not the taunting type. I talked to him and he said all he was doing was some friendly teasing like you used to at High Flyers—"

Nathan glared at Nino. "I don't take any shit from anyone on the court. You know that, Nino!" Not after what happened with Damien. Nathan was no longer the type of player who kept his mouth shut and got walked all over. He was aggressive, confident and talented and God help the person who tried to mess with him; not after all he'd been through.

"Well, the problem is…you got ejected and that can't happen again, even if there are only thirty seconds left on the clock. This is the big time, Nate, and trust me when I tell you that you are going up against people who have bigger mouths than Tony Battle."

"I can handle it," Nathan replied stiffly.

"I know you can, but it's _how_ you handle it. You got to keep your cool. No flagrants, no technicals—"

"I know how to foul, dammit!" Nathan said angrily.

"Cool it, Nate," Nino said sharply. "This is what I'm talking about. You want to know why you aren't captain? Cuz _your sportsmanship sucks_. There, I said it. Now, after being your roommate, I know I can say that shit to you and you know it's the truth. You're better than this, Nathan Scott, and I'm just here to remind you of that!"

With that, Nino headed into the locker room, presumably to catch up with the rest of the team while Nathan cooled down. That was a good thing too, since Nathan was pretty steamed, mostly because everything Nino had said had been spot-on.

* * *

Haley began riffling through her drawers determined to find something better to wear than what she had on. The problem was that she had no idea what she was doing tonight, so how was she supposed to know what to wear? She sensed the outfit she had on just wasn't appropriate for a six month anniversary date. Chase had told her to dress casual, but surely he didn't mean a pair of jeans and a nice top?

Haley went through top after top, discarding each one with dissatisfaction until her hand rested on a t-shirt she didn't recognize. She held up the t-shirt and saw that it said University of Alaska. She still couldn't remember seeing it before, but it had to belong to Chase since he transferred from there to Stanford last year.

Haley took the t-shirt and headed into Rachel's room. Rachel was in the midst of getting ready to go out herself, and per usual, was dressed like a model. Ever since Rachel had moved out to California with Haley, she had become more interested in pursuing a modeling career than going to college. Haley actually kind of felt like she was holding back Rachel in some ways; that Rachel had only actually enrolled in a college near Stanford just to appease her. For the past three years, well actually five if you count their time at St. Rita's Academy, the girls had been inseparable. Now, Rachel found herself getting more and more modeling gigs and Haley didn't understand why Rachel was even pretending to be a college student. It wasn't like she ever did homework or went to class. Haley wasn't even sure she had enough credits to academically qualify as a sophomore, never mind a junior, like she should be. Haley believed should just drop out and purse modeling full time, even if that meant moving out from their apartment so she could live in Los Angeles full time.

"Why aren't you dressed? Isn't Chase going to be here soon?" Rachel asked as she fixed her eyeliner.

"That's why I'm here. Do you know where he's taking me? I have no idea what to wear…"

Rachel examined her and looked at disgusted. "No, I have no idea, but you certainly can't wear that!" Rachel sat down next to Haley and appeared to think things over. "Wear that cute brown suede skirt with that cream boat neck top and the necklace I got you for Christmas." Rachel stood up and went over to her bureau and fished out pair of dangling earrings. "And these," Rachel said as she handed her the earrings.

Haley smiled gratefully at Rachel's suggestion. "What would I do without you?"

"Lose your boyfriend!" Rachel then took the t-shirt Haley had forgot she was holding, held it up and examined it.

"Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about that too. It's Chase's."

"I see that," Rachel said handing her back the shirt.

"So,…what do I do with it?" Haley asked perplexed.

"What do you mean? Did he give it to you?"

"I don't think so. It just somehow ended up in one my drawers. I have no idea how it got there. I don't know if he put it there or if I washed it and put it there myself…Do I give it back?"

Rachel shook her head. "Oh, Haley…This is what happens when you have a boyfriend. He probably left it here on purpose. He wants you to have it or he wants something to keep here when he spends the night. Is he, by the way? He is staying over tonight, right?"

"I hope not," Haley admitted with a heavy sigh. "That was only a couple of times, Rach. I don't want it to be a regular thing."

"What?" Rachel asked surprised. "Haley, this is what being in a serious relationship is all about! Isn't that what you want? I thought you were into him?"

"I am…I think…I guess, I just don't know how all this stuff is supposed to work." This was the first relationship that Haley had since, well, since Nathan, and she found everything to just be so _confusing_. None of it felt _natural_ and she was constantly trying to figure out what the rules were and how she was supposed to act. All of this confusion made her feel like even more of a screw-up. She just felt so damaged from her attack to the point where she wasn't sure if she could have a serious relationship.

Chase Adams had been so patient with her and she still didn't understand why he even bothered. They had met last year and after becoming friends quickly, it had taken him six months to even ask Haley out and then an entire summer of phone calls and emails to get her agree to start dating him at the start of their junior year. Even when they had started dating, Chase had taken things very slow. He knew the superficial details of Haley's traumatic past and was always very gentle and sensitive of her needs. In truth, this just made Haley feel even more unworthy. She hated being treated with kid-gloves and having people walk on egg shells around her, but by now she was used to it and she had come to realize that Chase was probably the best she was going to get. Sure, he was always trying to hold her hand, which she hated, but in general, she was lucky to have such a sweet, supportive boyfriend that didn't pressure her the way other guys had. So, she had tried to play the part of the perfect girlfriend, at times going against her own instincts, in an attempt to feel normal and to blend in with everyone else. This is what she had to do since on the inside, she felt like a massive train wreck, with more and more damage piling up as time went on.

"Okay, then let me tell you how it's supposed to work," Rachel began to explain, "and then you can decide if this is what you want…If Chase is leaving his stuff over here, that means he's planning on staying over more often, or at least he wants to, and you should make space for him. Like give him half a drawer and buy him a toothbrush or something…Then as time goes on, he'll be here more and more, until he becomes our third roommate and in that case, I'm making him pay rent!" Rachel joked.

Haley sat there silent not enjoying any of what Rachel had to say. "That's normal? I mean living together with your boyfriend? Isn't that like a sin?"

"Oh, come on, Haley. It's not like your parents are going to care. I mean, that's what Quinn and David did. Probably Viv and John too, but you're parents just probably didn't know about it."

So Rachel had just confirmed that this was in fact, a normal progression of a serious relationship, which meant that once again, Haley was the screwed up one since she had no desire to go down that path with Chase.

* * *

"Chase, where exactly are we going?" Haley finally asked once she sensed they were getting closer to their final destination. Other than the fact that they had been driving for two hours and were headed towards Sacramento, she had no idea what was going on.

"We're almost there…" Chase smiled happily. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. Haley shot him a look of annoyance as he touched her. Chase took back his hand and sighed. "I know you hate surprises, but trust me," he said with a bout of confidence, "you're going to love it. I couldn't have planned this better if I tried!"

This just made Haley even more nervous. Didn't he plan this? Why the hell did he have to pick Sacramento, of all places, to take her to? What was so special about there? If she had known they were going there tonight, she probably wouldn't have gone. Unless, he was taking to the last place she wanted to go to…No, Haley pushed that thought aside…Chase would never do something like that, plus she was still pretty sure with the vague details she had given him about her past that he hadn't put everything together. He knew about the attack, of course, but not all about the specific people involved. He knew Rachel and Haley had grown up as childhood best friends. He knew that Rachel had a brother, he just didn't know who that brother was or that it was the same person who broke Haley's heart.

Haley's nerves transformed into panic as she saw they were heading towards the stadium. Chase noticed her eyes widening and once again, misread her. "Are you excited? Bet you thought I didn't know about your secret love for basketball and your obsession with Duke!" Chase exclaimed proudly.

Haley's mouth dropped open. Chase just continued to beam at her, which made her wonder just how much he knew. She composed herself and tried to look excited instead of nauseous. "How did you know?"

"Well, I saw the newspaper clippings in that folder on your desk, then there was the t-shirt stuffed at the bottom of your drawer, and then there were the bookmarks on your computer. I'm guessing basketball must be big in North Carolina?"

"Yeah, right," Haley said quickly. She cursed herself for buying that t-shirt on a whim in the airport that last time she was in North Carolina. It wasn't like she was ever going to wear it. Then the clippings…she couldn't help that. There were just so many of them lately that they had begun to pile up! She should have been more careful about where she kept them. Still, it was clear that Chase hadn't looked too closely at the clippings. If he did, he definitely wouldn't be taking her here; not to the championship game of the NCAA Basketball Tournament where her Nathan Scott would be one of the starting players for the Duke Blue Devils.

A few minutes later, they parked the car and started to head into the stadium. There were swarms of people around them and this time, she let Chase take her hand without a fight. Her insides were churning and she could feel her knees shaking and wanted all the support she could get.

"So why didn't you tell me you were such a basketball fan?" Chase asked as he flashed the tickets to a worker.

"Uh, I knew you weren't," Haley lied. "I mean, it's not like I'm a huge fan or anything. Like you said, I just grew up with it."

"I'm more of hockey guy myself. That and ice fishing," Chase said as he playfully nudged Haley.

"I guess that's the difference between North Carolina and Alaska," Haley observed. "Anyway, in case you didn't notice, I am way overdressed for a basketball game, Chase," Haley said as she looked down the top of the stairs that she was going to have to climb down in heels.

Chase gallantly held out his hand for Haley to take. "Well, I think you look beautiful," he said sweetly.

Haley simply rolled her eyes, unable to accept the compliment. It was all she could do to focus on getting down those stairs and she was not taking his hand. "Where are our seats?"

"Wait till you see! I have no idea about basketball but someone hooked me up!"

Haley followed behind Chase as they went further and further down the stairs. The closer they got to the court, the more nervous Haley became. It was already bad enough that they were center court on the Duke side. But Chase just kept going… and going…and going…., not stopping until they were in fact two rows behind the court. Haley felt her heart begin to race as saw the Duke bench. She realized at once that there was nowhere to hide and most likely, _Nathan was going to see her_. Heck if he just reached out his arm, he probably could touch her. This also meant _she was going to see him_. At least she had time to prepare herself. Haley took a deep breath as they settled in by their seats.

"So what do you think? Did I do good?" Chase asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and bounced up and down.

Haley just bit down on her lower lip as she watched the teams emerge from the locker room for their warm ups.

* * *

Nathan hurried to catch up with his team as they went out to the court for their warm ups. Between Nino hounding him and the assistant coach reviewing some strategic plays with him, he had fallen behind and hated being the last one out on the court. As he reached the court, he heard the loud cheers from the crowd. It was undoubtedly the largest crowd he had ever played before and he had heard that there were a lot of people that had traveled there from North Carolina to support the team. This was confirmed when he saw all the Duke banners and pennants flashed across the stands and heavily concentrated in the area by their bench.

As Nathan took off his warm up uniform and put them on a chair, he didn't even bother look in the stands. It's not like there was anyone waiting there for him anyway, maybe except Nino and his pregnant wife, but he wasn't really up for talking to him at the moment.

Nathan knew his teammates most likely had friends and family in the seats just behind the bench since all the players got four tickets and even then, most of them had put in requests for more. The only person who had been interested in his tickets, strangely enough, had been Lydia James. Lydia had made a point to go to all of his big local games, albeit without her husband, but he was still surprised when she'd asked him about these tickets. She had suggested that she was going to try and get Jimmy to go. For a second he thought, maybe, just maybe, the other ticket might be for…but no. Lydia and he never discussed his relationship, or lack thereof, with Haley. Ever since the shooting, it was just something that Lydia was careful not to mention which surprised him since she had been so aggressive earlier. He figured it was because Haley had finally written him off for good. Now, all Lydia did was occasionally sneak in details about Haley into their conversations when appropriate, which he had mixed feelings about. He secretly craved those details, yet in the end they always just made him feel even worse. Still, he was just grateful to have the woman he cared so much still in his life in some way. He wasn't surprised though when Lydia had called last minute and said they couldn't make it. He hadn't expected Jimmy to want to come. So, he simply told her to sell the tickets on eBay.

As for his other basketball supporters, his Uncle Coop had been at all of his other games and his Uncle Keith and Lucas had flown in for the Final Four round in Indianapolis. Then, they had to get back to their lives and he felt lucky to have them at any of his games. Besides, it was hard to plan ahead for the March Madness tournament; most people didn't think they think they would go this far this into the season after getting knocked out so early last year.

Haley's eyes remained glued to him ever since he stepped out on the floor. It didn't matter that he didn't see her; that was just as well because if he did, she wasn't sure she would be able to hide her gawking.

Haley knew she probably just looked like another one of the crazy groupie fans of the new star of Duke's team. She could tell from all her clippings that the media loved him too. He had been one of the focus stories of the tournament because his story had all the elements they were looking for; a hint of scandal, overcoming defying odds, and seemingly coming out of nowhere since he had just been warming the bench for past three years. Now, he was the shining star of the team, although some media outlets still pegged him as a bad boy. All of this fascinated Haley, as she hungered to read everything she could about him, partially desperate to read between the lines to see how he was really doing, and also because she was just so damn proud of him.

"So you have a favorite player?" Chase asked innocently.

"No," Haley lied, her eyes fixed on Nathan as he took dribbled the ball and took a shot.

As the warm up time drew to a close, Nathan went over to the bench and grabbed a drink of water. He was already sweating and was most definitely anxious to get this game going. He gulped down his water and reached down to refill his cup from the water cooler.

That's when he did a double-take. He froze and had to literally be pushed out of the way so his teammates could get their drinks.

It couldn't be….but it was…_Haley James. _Shewas standing there staring right back at him. Their eyes locked and Nathan flinched. It was like someone was reaching deep down inside of him to a place that had been closed off for so long. It had been so long since he felt anything like that. It was so intense and unfamiliar that he honestly couldn't tell exactly what it was he was feeling.

Then Haley briefly smiled at him and he just about lost it. He was so close he could touch her. He wanted to reach out and pull that lose strand hanging by her face and tuck it behind her ear. Instead, he just stood there awestruck. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Fully matured, she was breathtakingly beautiful and he just kept examining her, wanting to taking in as much of her as possible until he saw Haley's cheeks start to flush. Then he smiled and looked down and laughed. She was still the same Haley and he felt everything coming back to him at once. He began to feel his own body heating up as he wondered if he was the one who made her blush. Could he still have that same affect on her?

Then he saw _him_….He hadn't noticed the guy next to her before, but he sure did when that guy, that boy, really, with his messy brown hair and goofy smile, put his arm around her.

Haley cringed and swiftly elbowed Chase as soon as she felt his arm slide around her shoulders. At first Chase looked hurt, and then a second later remorseful.

Chase put his hands up defensively assuming that he had just startled her. He always assumed that. Some of the time it was true, but most of the time it was just the fact that she didn't find herself to be the touchy feely type. "Sorry," Chase muttered.

Both of them, as well as the people around them, looked up as Nathan yelled angrily. "Hey!"

Nathan was standing there with his hands on his hips and Haley knew he had misinterpreted Chase's actions. If she didn't act fast, she was pretty sure from the look on Nathan's face that he was going clock Chase.

"HEY YOU!" Nathan yelled again.

Chase, of course, was oblivious to the fact that Nathan was talking to him, as he looked over his shoulder for who Nathan was shouting at.

Haley forcefully pushed Chase towards the aisle. "Get me some food."

"Okay," Chase agreed with confusion.

He headed up the aisle and Haley added, "And a drink!"

When she looked back, Nathan was still standing there watching her. The two minute warning sounded off and his team was gathering around the coaches, but Nathan remained still.

Haley looked at him and tried her best to tap into that connection they always had. She tried to tell him that she was okay. Nathan just sighed heavily and for a second Haley believed that connection was gone. Then he nodded briefly at her and went over and joined his team.

"Are you okay?" The guy sitting beside her asked. Haley looked at this guy uncomfortably. He was sitting next to a pregnant lady, who looked like his wife. He was very tall and athletic looking, so Haley could only assume he was a basketball player.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Haley said chewing on her lip.

The guy looked at her more closely. "Do I know you?"

"No, I don't think so," Haley answered honestly.

"Do you—"

"Nino!" The guy's wife swiftly hushed him as the music came on for the National Anthem.

Nathan tried his best to listen to his coach's pep talk but he found it nearly impossible. He still wasn't sure what the deal was with that guy with Haley. He kept eyes on Haley, only turning his back to her during the playing of the National Anthem. When he turned back around, he saw that guy returning to his seat with a tray of popcorn and drinks. God, he hated that guy, actually that kid, because honestly, that's what he looked like. He looked like some kid sitting down to watch a movie. Well, if he wanted to see a show, Nathan was ready to perform.

He stood at the center of the court and leaned in for the tip off. As soon as the ref blew the whistle, that was it. Nathan pushed the ball towards him and grabbed hold of the ball. This game was on and he was as determined as ever to win.

* * *

"That's it…that's it! God damn! I ain't never seen him slam dunk like that before! That boy is on fire!" Nino said excitedly as he slapped his hand on his knee.

Haley looked at him curiously. Nathan's slam dunk was always one of his signature moves. It was true that she hadn't really watched any of his games over the past year, but had his playing really changed that much? How much had he changed?

"Oh, shit! Not a free-throw. He's in trouble now…That's his weakness."

Now, Haley felt compelled to speak up. It was obvious this Nino guy knew nothing about Nathan Scott. He was probably just some spectator that was watching him for the first time and trying to play it off like he knew more than he did.

"Actually, he holds the state record for most consecutive free-throws in North Carolina," Haley proudly pointed out. Nino, his wife, and Chase all threw Haley surprised glances.

"Oh, really? And how many is that? Four?" Nino chuckled.

"Fifty-five. He also holds his high school's record for all-time scoring," Haley said not even bothering to look at Nino. From the corner of her eye, she could see him looking at her in shock. He remained quiet for a minute appearing to mull this over.

"Yeah, but he was injured after that. Boy has never been the same since," Nino stated matter of factly.

Haley considered this, but her faith was not shaken. "He can do it."

Then when Nathan made the free-throw, Haley turned and looked right at him with a smug smile plastered across her face. Boy it felt good to shut him up like that.

After a couple of minutes, Nathan found himself at the free-throw line again and Haley loudly cheered him on. This time it was for two shots and after he made the first one, she found herself exchanging smiles with Nino.

Nino leaned in close to her and began to whisper. "Okay, but see how he puts his hand on his lower left back like that?" Haley nodded as she saw him do that just before he got the ball back for his second shot. "Well, that's because his back is hurting him. The boy has back problems and he won't tell those doctors because he can play through the pain, but I'm telling you that's got to affect his game."

They both watched as Nathan took his second shot and made it. Just like last time, his hand went briefly over that same spot on his back before he recovered and began to play again as normal.

Haley continued to watch Nathan, now paying closer attention to his back. It didn't take long for her to realize that Nino was right. It was also clear Nino really was a Duke fan. In fact, it sounded like he knew Nathan better than she did, which really bothered her. This also drew her to him and before long, they found themselves cheering and high-fiving together as Duke took the lead in the tight game. Then he started cracking jokes about the other team, making Haley laugh. She had to admit the guy was funny.

As they headed into the second quarter, Duke was up by four points and much of that was thanks to Nathan. Haley looked over and saw the court clearing for the timeout. Nino directed her attention to a player from the opposing team.

"See that white boy over there? Well, I went up against him last year and he fouled me so hard that I tore my ACL. It's part of the reason I can't play anymore. I really hope Nate shuts him up!"

So, Nino did played basketball….probably for Duke…He probably knew Nathan… Haley processed this news as they watched Nathan grab a drink before heading over to listen to his coach.

"He does that a lot, huh?" Haley said with concern as she leaned towards Nino. Nino followed her eyes to Nathan who was standing with his back toward them with his hand rubbing that same spot.

Nino looked at her long and hard. He appeared to be examining her and he looked suspicious. "You said you knew his high school records?" He asked her loudly.

Haley shifted uneasily. She didn't like where this was going. Luckily, Chase jumped in and saved her. Funny, she had forgotten he was there until he spoke. "Haley is from North Carolina. Basketball is big there," Chase graciously explained to Nino.

Haley looked at Nino and nodded in confirmation.

"Uh-huh," Nino said unconvinced.

Haley decided it was probably best not to talk so much to this Nino guy for the rest of the game.

* * *

As Nathan made his way off the court for the time-out, he only looked over at the stands for a second; it would have been too distracting to look for any longer than that. The Duke fans had been going wild most of the game and a few times they had even been chanting his name. It all started with that first slam dunk. God, he hadn't done that in years…He wasn't even sure he was able to do that anymore. Yet, there he found himself with a limitless amount of adrenaline flowing through his veins, so much that the pain in his back didn't even phase him. The only time he felt it was when he was standing still. As he gulped down his swig of water, he lightly rubbed that spot in his back, right by where his scar was from the exit wound from the bullet. Then his eyes spotted Haley in the stands and he regrouped. The pain subsided and he walked over to his coach to hear their game plan.

Nathan listened intently and then realized what his coach was saying wasn't anything he didn't already know. He tuned him out as his thoughts went back to that image that was floating in his mind. Haley had been talking animatedly with Nino. Nino, of all people! He wasn't sure how the hell that happened, but they seemed to be getting along great. He looked back and saw them both looking at him intently and talking seriously and his heart warmed. It was as if he had actually had two people in the stands there for _him_-_Nathan Scott_-not the Duke point guard, and that made all the difference in the world to him.

As he walked back onto the court, he thought about how his actions on the court seemed to be making Haley happy. That smile, that laugh…Her standing next to his former roommate…It was _just as it should be_…_just as it was supposed to be_. Most importantly,…_she was okay_. Haley was standing there alongside everyone else and _she was okay_. Hell, she had smiled at him! She was cheering him on! Maybe he had been wrong. The past five years had been wrong and now, everything was finally back right; it was something he could feel deep down inside him. Having her there brought him peace and clarity and as they headed into the second quarter, Nathan had no doubt that this was their game to win and his chance to make things right.

* * *

As the halftime buzzer sounded, with Duke up by ten, the Duke players headed over to the bench to grab some things before heading into the locker room. Nathan walked over to the bench and grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat that was pouring down the sides of his face. His heart was beating rapidly and he was actually grateful to have some time to recoup and maybe even see physical trainer. He could use another one of those shots for his back before the second half.

Nino stood up and motioned for him to come over. Nathan couldn't help but get nervous. Yes, there he was after playing in the NCAA Championship and he had butterflies in his stomach because he about to get close to Haley. He was about to talk to someone who had been talking with her the whole game. It was absurd and he knew it.

Nathan quickly walked towards him and stopped in front of their seats. His eyes went right to Haley who was standing there looking back and forth between him and Nino.

"You done good, boy. Must have been that pep talk I gave you!" Nino said with a cocky smile.

Nathan scoffed. He looked directly at Haley. "Let's just say I had _something_ motivating me out there," he blurted out. Nino and his wife looked shocked as they looked at both him and Haley.

"Hey, Scott! Let's go!" One of the Duke players shouted out.

Nathan gave a quick nod to his teammate and turned to follow his team towards the locker room.

"Hey, Nate! I think you need another one of those pep talks! You know what I'm saying? A halftime pep talk!" Nino shouted at him.

Nathan looked at him confused. What the hell was he talking about? A halftime pep talk? The only halftime pep talks he could think of were….No, Nino didn't know about that. Unless Haley told him? Had Haley told him how they used to secretly meet up during halftime, especially during important games? Just how close had they become during the game? As felt his emotions stirring inside of him, the bigger question now burning inside of him was who the hell was that guy on the other side of Haley?

* * *

Haley was still trying to recover from the effects of Nathan's words. She sat back down as she tried to shake off the tingling sensation that was running through her body. She was still wondering if she imagined it, because she honestly thought and felt like he was talking directly to her, even looking at her, when he said he had something motivating him out there. She was distracted from her thoughts when Nino stood directly in front of her with his hands on his hips.

"Well, I'm going to go find my way to that _locker room_ to talk to my boy, _Nate_," he announced loudly looking around.

Chase sat down and leaned in and whispered to Haley. "I think he knows the team."

Haley rolled her eyes. God, he was clueless. Had he really not realized that they were sitting with all the family and friends of the Duke players? She began to wonder just how he got these tickets, anyway.

"So, yup! Right now, _I'm going to the locker room_," Nino paused and looked pointedly at Haley, "because _I know how to get there _from here," he then looked back up, "because I think my boy, Nate, _needs a halftime pep talk_!"

Nino then looked right at her and Haley felt a pit forming in her stomach. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

Nino leaned over and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. "You good, baby?"

"I'm good. You go," Layla told her husband.

"Okay," Nino said. Haley watched him as he walked over to the aisle and then looked back at her.

Haley found herself getting up and turning to follow him. "I'm going to restroom," she lied to Chase.

Nino began moving, and Haley followed behind him, keeping a comfortable distance. She felt very silly, but still wasn't sure that she was actually supposed to be following him. She was only acting on her gut instincts. Every so often, Nino would turn around and sometimes wait a little and then start walking again. It appeared as though he knew she was following him, which made her slightly more at ease, although her damn heels were slowing her down. Eventually, she saw him turn down a long narrow corridor and disappear.

Nino looked at the top of the doorway and sure enough, he found Nathan standing there peering out the door. Once he saw him, Nathan stepped outside and put his hands on his hips frustrated.

"What the hell, Nino? You know I should be seeing the trainer and getting one of those shots!" Nathan said curtly.

"Then what you doing standing out here?" Nino retorted.

Nathan felt stupid, like Nino was just messing with him. He turned back around and then felt Nino's hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Romeo," Nino began. Nathan turned around and rolled his eyes. He hated how Nino always called him that. But he saw something in Nino's eye though that told him he was serious. "I brought you…your Juliet…" Nino looked down toward the end of the corridor and began waving his arm impatiently. "Juliet! Come on! Let's get going here!"

Haley hesitated. He had called her Juliet. Was that a joke? Was he talking to her? She slowly stepped out into the corridor and saw Nino shaking his head emphatically and waving her on.

"Let's go! I'm going to cover for you, Scott, okay?"

Nino disappeared through the door, leaving the two of them alone just as Haley reached Nathan.

Nathan couldn't bring himself to look at her at first. His eyes rested on her right knee. For a brief second, he saw flashes of her in the hospital bed and with that knee suspended in the air. "I'm sorry Nino was rushing you…He doesn't know about your knee," Nathan said softly.

"Oh, no," Haley said quickly. "My knee is fine. It's actually these damn heels!"

Nathan laughed as he finally met her eyes. "I told you shouldn't wear heels!"

"I didn't know I was coming here! Hence, my reason for being overdressed," Haley said pointing to her skirt and top.

"At least you're not wearing that green hat," Nathan joked.

"Hey!" Haley protested. "I'll have you know I still have that hat!"

Nathan looked at her and smirked. "Yeah, but the question is—do you actually wear said hat?"

Haley rolled her eyes at him and smiled. "Sometimes…When I feel like it," she said stubbornly. Truth was, she hadn't worn it in years and she was guessing he knew that.

Nathan grinned at her, loving how she was holding her ground. "Well, it did look cute on you," he conceded.

Haley felt a shift in air and her nerves began to change into something else. She took a step closer to him. They were now standing so close that she could just reach up and touch his face. His blue eyes were burning into hers and she began to feel very hot and flushed. She had to speak. She had to say something to get that pipeline of electricity that was flowing between them to stop, otherwise she thought she might actually pass out. "You look good,….I mean you looked good out there," Haley said quickly editing her thoughts.

He did look good and not just out on that court. He looked a little taller than she remembered and his biceps were ripped. His dark hair was wet and messy and although it was a little too long for her taste since it had a little length to it, she wanted nothing more than to run her hands through it and push it back from his face, because that's what she was focused on the most; his amazing face. She studied his face, as if trying to learn as much about him as she could; wanting to understand what the last five years were like for him and how he was now. Then, her heart began racing as he moved in closer.

Nathan leaned in and slipped his arms around her waist. His eyes traveled down to her lips and for a moment he seriously thought about kissing her. Then he stopped as he began to doubt himself as her words came back to him. She didn't know she was coming here. Somehow, she ended up here, yet she hadn't planned on seeing him like this. And she had that loser sitting next to her. Yet, as if under a spell, he was unable to pull away from her completely. Instead of kissing her, he rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. He took in her soft touch, her sweet smell, and the sound of thumping in his chest.

Haley couldn't take this anymore. He was going to kiss her; she knew that, she felt that, yet he stopped. There was something still holding him back and she felt like she was fifteen again and all she wanted was to feel his lips on hers. She pulled back and thumbed at his chin to forcing him open his eyes and look at her. She put her hand to his chest.

Nathan looked into her brown eyes and was overcome with emotion. "You are so beautiful…"

It was not lost on Haley that he was saying basically the same thing Chase had earlier, yet it sounded so different. When Nathan said it, it sent chills down her spine and made her both blush and shiver. Then, her heart began to beat faster as she remembered Chase…her boyfriend…of six months…that was waiting for her….that had brought her here. Snapped back into reality, Haley began to fidget causing Nathan to let her go. He looked at her and Haley knew he was hurt.

She was torn. She hated making him feel like that, yet what else could she do?

They both looked up as Nino popped his head through the door. "You got about thirty seconds, Nate, before coach wants to see you."

Nathan knew he had to act fast. He could feel that he was losing Haley. One minute they were so close, and yet in a flash, she had begun pushing him away; he could feel it. He had to take a risk or else he would always wonder. "You maybe want to meet up after the game? Maybe grab a cup of coffee?"

Haley smiled at how cute Nathan sounded. She doubted that besides being at Karen's Café, he had probably never been out for a cup of coffee in his life. "Sure," Haley agreed. Then again, she reluctantly remembered Chase. "Uh, actually I can't…I'm kind of here with someone," Haley said biting her lip.

Nathan shook head in disappointment then immediately straightened up as he thought of Chase. "Is he—"

"No," Haley said quickly reading his mind. She knew he was worried about her and needed him to know that Chase was not that kind of guy. "He's fine." Still, Haley found herself wanting to explain more. She knew she didn't need to, but she wanted him to know that this thing, whatever it was, that she had going with Chase, wasn't that serious…It didn't even compare… "It's just…He's not…I don't know," Haley said unable to articulate her feelings.

_Chase just wasn't him_. He didn't make her feel the way Nathan did, but she couldn't say that. Not without telling Chase first.

"Okay, time's up!" Nino said holding the door open for Nathan.

"Uh, okay," Nathan said hesitantly. He suddenly found himself speechless. He had no idea what to say to Haley.

"It's okay," Haley said urging him to go. "I'll be out there…I'm rooting for you…Just like _always_…" Haley felt her heart clench as she said the last word. She hadn't meant to use it…it just happened. Always and forever. It was still true, but he didn't need to hear that. Not now, right in the middle of this game.

"That's what I needed to hear," Nathan said with half of a smile. He turned around and took the door from Nino. Then, just before he went inside he looked at Haley one last time, as if trying burn the image of her and this moment into his memory. He took a deep breath and realized he wasn't ready to let her go yet. He wanted to let her know he felt. "Hey, Hales?"

"Yeah?"

He had so much to say and no time to say it. _Why are with that guy? Is he good to you? Does he love you? Because…I love you. I still do. I want you. I need you. I made a mistake. So many mistakes. I would take it all back if I could. Please don't go. Tell me it's all still there. That you still feel the same way. That you know that I can't live with you. That I don't want to live without you._

All of these things were too intense to feel, never mind say. Instead, Nathan just said, "it was nice seeing you, Hales."

"Yeah," Haley said emotionally.

Nathan then turned and disappeared back into the locker room.

Haley just stood there staring at the door until it closed. A second later, she felt Nino's arm around her shoulder. He guided her to the end of the corridor and then took his arm back. They walked side by side for a while until Haley finally spoke.

"So how is he? I mean really?" Haley asked nervously.

"Well, you've seen him. How do you think he is?"

"He needs a haircut," Haley said wryly causing Nino to laugh.

"Thank you! I've been telling that boy that for a long time!"

"So I'm Haley, by the way."

Nino laughed as if amused. "I know that, Haley James!" Nino stopped and held his hand out for her to shake. "Nino Jones."

Haley shook his hand and looked at him confused. "How do you know who am I?"

"Nathan was my roommate at Duke so I know all about you." They began walking again and Haley looked at him to explain more. "Okay, so I call Nathan 'Romeo,' right?"

"Right. Because of the all the girls…" Haley scowled. She could just imagine how popular he was with the ladies.

"No,….It's because he once told me how you two were like Romeo and Juliet. Now granted, he probably doesn't remember that or any of the other things he told me about you."

"Oh." He must have blurted those things out when he was drunk. Haley thought about this comparison and wasn't sure what to think. That story didn't end well after all. "Maybe he's right…" she said aloud. Nino looked at her to explain. "I mean, it's a tragedy and they didn't end up together…"

"Yeah, but you ever think that maybe they was just a little impatient? That they just should have waited until everything settled down? That maybe the time just wasn't right?" Haley began to think about this as they walked. She hadn't thought about it that way. "I mean, but what do I know, right?" Nino continued. "I'm just a guy from Detroit that had to spend two years in North Carolina to realize his Juliet grew up five blocks over from him."

Haley smiled at him. "You're wife?"

"Yup!" Nino exclaimed happily. "Lucky for me, Layla took my sorry ass back and waited for me to graduate." Nino stopped and stood directly in front of Haley and looked at her seriously. "Listen, Haley, I've got something to say and you can take this any way you want but I've got to say it."

"Okay," Haley sighed. This was obviously something very heavy.

"When I found out I couldn't play basketball anymore, I was lucky to have my girl waiting for me. I don't know what I would have done without her. I wouldn't have anything without her. Now, I'm worried about Nate, you see. Basketball is all he's got, but that ain't gonna last forever. His back won't last long and I honestly think he's playing on borrowed time anyway. Now, after today's game, I bet he'll get drafted and be in the NBA and he'll think that's where it's at. He might not realize until it's too late, that it's not… and he's going to need someone…because knowing Nate like I do, he needs some direction and when he doesn't…that's when he gets dark and I think you know what I mean when I say that…So, you just think about that, okay?"

"Okay," Haley said slowly, very confused. What exactly did he want her to do? Did he want her to be there for him? Now? How could she do that when she was such a mess herself? It was all too much to take in.

As they reentered the stadium, Haley decided it was probably best just to focus on watching the rest of the game. Then, she saw Chase, sitting there chatting away with Layla, and she felt knots forming in her stomach. Dealing with him, was something she couldn't put off for much longer, but at least now she knew for certain what she had to do.

* * *

Haley couldn't help but ignore Chase for the rest of the game. Duke was able to keep the lead, and Nathan continued to dominate on the court. Her eyes were transfixed to him and she couldn't believe how much it felt like when they were in high school…when they were together. It had been that way since they locked eyes. Then there was the banter they fell into outside the locker room…and now he was showing off on the court and then looking at her for approval, which she gave him of course as she threw him beaming smiles. So, explaining the basics of basketball was not her priority, and she was now just simply not answering any of Chase's annoying questions about the game.

She was, on the other hand, happy to continue chatting with Nino, who found Chase's questions all very entertaining. By now, Haley felt like she and Nino had shared something that bonded together; it felt like being with an old friend. Funny how that happened sometimes. She had only known Nino for about two hours and yet she had already felt closer with him than she did with Chase.

As the game drew to close, Haley noticed Nathan tugging more and more at his back. She leaned in towards Nino. "He said something about a shot? You think he didn't get it? You think he didn't get it because of me?"

"No, no," Nino said confidently. "That takes two seconds. Besides, you've done more for his game than any shot could. In fact, you've done more for his game than all the pep talks I've given him!"

Haley smiled brightly. She was so grateful that Nathan had someone like Nino for a roommate.

As the game drew to a close, with a minute left on the clock, the Duke fans began to grow wild with anticipation. Everyone was on their feet and cheering loudly. Layla and Nino were holding hands and Nino paused for a brief second and then took Haley's hand as well. Haley couldn't have felt better. To have someone to share this extraordinary moment with, and someone who understood what it was that made it so extraordinary, was wonderful.

Haley briefly looked over at Chase. He had been very quiet for the past ten minutes and Haley was sure he was trying to listen to everything she and Nino were saying. She didn't let this bother her since she knew she was going to have to explain everything to him soon enough anyway. For now, she just wanted to stay in the moment.

With the final thirty seconds on the clock, the opposing team called a time out. The Duke players came over to the bench and Nathan nodded and smiled at Haley. It really was just like old times and there was no mistaking that he was looking right at her. Chase just stood there looking from Nathan to Haley and then back to Nathan.

The buzzer rang and everyone got back in position. Haley bounced up and down on her toes and grinned at Nino and Layla.

"This is it!" She said excitedly with anticipation.

"Haley?"

Haley groaned. What could Chase possibly want right now? Couldn't he wait another thirty seconds? Even if he wasn't a Duke fan, how could he not get caught up in this excitement?

"What?" Haley spat out.

"That Scott, there—is he related to Rachel?"

"He's her brother," Haley answered quickly, still focusing on the game.

"Number 23?"

"Yes!"

"Like the 23 tattooed on your back?"

Haley froze. She hadn't wanted him to find out like this. She felt Nino's grip on her hand tighten in a show of support.

"Yes," Haley admitted, not able to look him in the eye.

"Nathan," Chase said knowingly. He bit his lip and sighed loudly. Haley finally looked at him and he just shook his head at her disappointedly. "It's all clear now. I get it. Boy, do I feel stupid!"

"Chase—"

Chase took off in the opposite direction, much to the frustration of the fans on the side of him. Haley made a move to follow him, but Nino wouldn't let go of her hand.

"There's nothing you can do about it now, Haley. Just stay and take this in with me. I know what it means to you and you know what it means to him," Nino said earnestly.

So Haley stayed there and when the final seconds on the clock ticked away, she found herself jumping into Nino's arms. Both had tears in their eyes. The Duke team celebrated on the court and then Haley knew it was time to leave. She just had to leave before Nathan came over, which she knew would be soon. She had to go to Chase…She had to deal with him before she could deal with Nathan. It was the right thing to do.

"I have to go," Haley tried to explain to Nino, who looked at her like she was crazy.

"Now? Just wait a minute!"

"Now. Tell him,…I didn't want to go, but I had to." Haley took Nino's hand in hers and looked at him emotionally. "Thank you. _Thank you for being there for him, when I couldn't_." Haley dropped his hand and began to squeeze her way through the fans to the aisle.

"That's it, Haley? What am I supposed to tell him?" Nino called out to her.

Haley, now in the aisle turned and looked back at a desperate Nino. He was right. She had to say something. She couldn't leave him hanging like that. "Tell him I'm proud of him…" Haley paused as people began pushing around her heading off in different directions. "We need to talk. Tell him to call me!" Haley shouted over the booming noise around her.

Nino looked at her confused and she honestly wasn't sure if he had been able to hear her, but she now had to move. There were just too many people around her. Haley went up the steps as fast as she could and found a fuming Chase pacing back in forth in front of the concession stands.

* * *

Nathan was riding on an emotional high as he made his way over to the bench, where he was sure he would find Haley. Sure, she had said she couldn't go out with him that night, but he knew she would be there to at least congratulate him. Plus, he had seen her holding hands with Nino and he knew that he could count on Nino not to let her go far.

As he reached the bench, he saw he was wrong on both accounts. So Nathan stood there, in what should have been the greatest moment of his life to date, after giving everything he had to basketball, the very thing that had sustained him for so long, and found out very quickly that _none of it mattered_. The pain that filled his body, stemming from his heart, was his overriding emotion. As people around him patted him on the back and yelled his name from the stands, he stood there with his hands on his hips with confetti floating down on top of him, looking toward that empty spot, feeling nothing but his broken heart.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Desperately" (Michelle Branch)

AN: Thank you so much for the responses and reviews and for sticking with this story. If you made it this far, I think you will enjoy the rest, although there are some more frustrating chapters ahead. There was a time, halfway through my posting, when I was very discouraged. Now, I am feeling so incredibly supported! I am very reliable, so I always planned on finishing posting this story no matter what, but your kind words (both in reviews and pm's) are really helpful and motivating me with what I am writing now! I really can't wait to start posting part two!

As you may have noticed, my posting did slow down this week. I am back to working two jobs. In a few weeks, my life will get even more hectic. These are all very good things, but I may only be able to post twice a week. I have written far ahead, but it is the editing that takes a while and even then I know it's not perfect. I'm sorry for that. So, as I've always said…patience and faith!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, again. Lots of love from me to you! I would love to post once more over this long weekend!


	48. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 47: "Desperately" (Michelle Branch)

Following the game, Nathan was tied up for a while with the awards ceremony, reporters and then locker room banter. As soon as he possibly could, he found a quiet spot and pulled out his cell phone and called Lucas.

"Hey, Nathan! Congrats! We were all rooting for you here! What a game! I haven't seen you play like that since—"

"Lucas, you need to help me," Nathan said quickly.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Lucas asked alarmed.

"I need to get her back." Silence fell over the phone. "_You_ need to help _me_ get _her_ back," Nathan clarified.

"Haley?" Lucas asked needing confirmation.

"Yes, Haley," Nathan said sounding a little insulted.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Nate. You've both moved on."

"You mean with that pretty boy? I'm not worried about him."

"How do you know about Chase?"

"They came to the game tonight. They had courtside seats and everything; don't ask me how that happened."

"I had no idea that's where he was taking her…"

"I was blindsided too. Here's the thing, Luke. She didn't look happy to me, not with him there. That guy, Chase I guess, was, like, trying to maul her and she wasn't having any of it."

"He's not like that, Nate. Are you sure it was her? Did she see you?"

"Yeah," Nathan said slowly. "We saw each other and…I couldn't look away. It was like everything came back and I know she felt it too. We—We—" Nathan wasn't sure why, but for now he wanted to keep their halftime meeting to himself. He still needed time to think about that and didn't want Lucas messing with his head like he already was. "We still have that connection."

"But is that a good thing? Do you really want to go back there? I'm not sure it's a good idea to feel those things again—for either of you."

"I can't explain it, Luke. I never could. We just have that connection. I know it's not all good, but when I was looking at her, that's what it I felt. I was looking at the girl I love."

Lucas let out a heavy sign but remained silent.

"You still there?" Nathan finally asked.

"Yeah, I'm here. What exactly to you want me to do, Nathan?" Lucas asked hesitantly.

"Call her. Right now, call her. See how she is. See if she says something. I just need to know I wasn't imagining it. If I was, fine. I'll let it go. But, Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to know," Nathan said, his voice cracking with desperation.

"I'll call you back."

* * *

"Haley is that you?" Lucas asked. He double checked his phone and confirmed it was her number on the line and she had picked up. When he put his phone back to his ear, instead of her voice, all he heard was an unmistakable sobbing. "Talk to me, Haley. Tell me what happened."

"I…broke up …with…Chase," she said through a series of sobs. "I just feel so terrible about it."

"Why, Haley? I thought things were going good. Did he do something to you?" Lucas asked raising his voice.

"No, no. I just did it. I had to do it."

"There must be reason, Haley…" Lucas pressed her.

"I don't know. I think I just realized I'm not in love with him."

"So what now, Haley?"

"What do you mean?" Haley asked confused.

Lucas then began to stumble over his words, not that Haley noticed. "Well, uh, is it…over? Are you going to, uh,…move on?"

"What? I just left him like five minutes ago, Luke. He was all over me all night and I just couldn't stand it. I'm so confused. But yeah…It's definitely over. I bet you didn't think you'd get this when you called me," she babbled. "Why did you call me, anyway?"

"I …ah….just wanted to see how your night went. I wanted to see what 'the big surprise' was."

"I'm sure it didn't turn out how he planned," Haley said unwilling to elaborate any further.

"You want me to come out there?"

"That's silly. I'm fine. Rachel will be home soon and we'll get some ice cream and I'll cry it all out."

"Hey, Hales? I have a call on the other line—let me get rid of it."

"No, I'm fine, Luke. Really. I'll talk to you later."

"Take care, Hales. I'm here if you need me."

"I know. Bye."

"Dammit, Nate! I told you I would call you," Lucas snarled as he clicked over to his incoming call.

"I know, but I just wanted to check in," Nathan said impatiently.

"Don't you have some after-parties to go to?" Lucas asked crossly.

"This is more important," Nathan said without hesitation. "What did she say?"

"I think you have a shot." Lucas waited for a response but got none. "Nate, you hear that? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yeah, yeah. You mean it?"

"Look, I didn't say I was going to help you because I'm not," Lucas said harshly.

"Are you kidding me? Why not?"

"You're a mess, that's why! If you want any chance of getting back with Haley, you have to make some serious changes in your life. The girls, the booze, the fighting! I'm not willing to let that into Haley's life and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't stand for it anyway."

"You're right. I know you are. I'll stop it all. Tonight. Right now. I won't even go out tonight."

"It's not that easy. You need to prove yourself. Get clean, regroup, refocus. The season's over now and you will probably have the draft, so deal with that. See where it takes you. Then start over."

"And then what?"

"Then, we'll talk again. Besides, I'm not sure Haley is in a good place right now anyway."

"What you mean?" Nathan asked angrily. "Did that punk—"

"No, I made sure of that."

"What then? What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything. That's how I know there's something there. She didn't say a word about the game or seeing you. I know she will when she's ready, but obviously she's not there yet."

"Then how the hell do you think I have a chance?" Nathan asked confused.

"Because she broke up with her boyfriend…Her boyfriend of six months…The only guy she's even dated. And I'm pretty sure it's all because _she saw you_."

"Oh," Nathan said trying to process those powerful words.

"Oh? That's all you have to say? I shouldn't even be telling you this."

"I'm glad you did, Luke. You won't be sorry, I promise."

"_Don't blow this_, _Nathan_," Lucas warned him sternly before hanging up.

* * *

Haley hung up the phone from talking with Lucas and thrust it across the room. Right now, she just so upset and angry and she wanted nothing more that to crawl into a hole and hide. She wasn't surprised that Lucas hadn't said a word about Nathan; he never did. It was part of their long-standing agreement and over the years it had worked. It had allowed them to keep some semblance of a friendship, although Haley had to admit they weren't as close as they used to be. By not talking about Nathan, she couldn't be as open with Lucas as they'd once been. So unless, Lucas brought him up, she wasn't going to…Still, secretly she wished he did. She wished he had told her he was calling on behalf of Nathan…but he didn't.

In addition to facing that disappointment, Haley was overwhelmed and feeling so bad after what happened with Chase. In a way, Haley felt like she cheated on Chase. It sounded silly, but at that game, all she really thought about was Nathan. She had so easily got caught up in him, in all they shared, and that really scared her. One look in his eyes, and she was lost. She had smiled at him, flirted with him, touched him, and even accepted a coffee date with him before she realized it. How could someone do that and so easily forget about their boyfriend who trying his very hardest to sweep her off his feet for their anniversary? She came to the conclusion that she was a horrible person. No matter how hard she tried, when it came to relationships, she wasn't normal and probably never would be.

Chase had been furious at first after he realized that she had kept from him that the Duke star Nathan Scott, was in fact the 'Nathan' she talked about in her sleep, the reason for the tattoo on her back, her first love…her only love really. Haley knew that now and as she tried to explain that to Chase, his anger faded and he'd become sorry for bringing her to that game and stirring up old feelings. This made Haley feel even worse. What the hell did he have to apologize for? She was the one who never told him the full truth.

Then Chase had started asking her all these questions, as if trying to explain away this connection she had with Nathan. He spoke as if the reason for her feelings were just because they hadn't seen each other in so long. He had tried to minimize Haley and Nathan's relationship, but Haley tried her best to set him straight. In the end, Chase still had begged her not to end things with him. To say the ride home had been difficult was incorrect; it was torturous and painful. At one point, right at the end, Chase even began crying. Haley couldn't get out of the car fast enough. The only thing she felt sure about was how she left things with Chase; it was over and she had made that clear. She had hurt him enough.

Haley crawled into her bed and pulled up the covers as far as she could. She let herself cry for a little bit until the sadness began to go away. Once she felt a little bit better, she started to sort through the other feelings weighing her down. Turns out, there really wasn't so much sadness. Guilt over hurting Chase; yes…Sadness over ending that relationship; no. Other than that, she was left with an odd combination of hope, desperation and fear. All of this was connected to Nathan.

Then her mother's constant advice came to mind and Haley tried to think about the positive things and not the sad ones. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to envision good things….The best possible things that could happen….She visualized it in her mind, as if making a wish. Suddenly, she sprung up and flew out of bed and found her cell phone. She clutched it tightly in her hands.

Nathan…There was a possibility, a very slim one she knew, that he would call her. That was even if Nino had been able to make out her message. But tonight? When he would probably be out celebrating with his team? Probably not, she admitted and decided not get her hopes up.

Then, maybe another night he would call. Sure, he wouldn't be in the area anymore. It wouldn't be like they could meet up, but they could talk, right? They could start somewhere…

But he needed her phone number. He could get it if he really wanted to. There were plenty of people who had both their numbers. Lucas was one of them…but he hadn't said anything in his conversation, but would he anyway? Haley wasn't sure. Lucas was loyal and always kept his promises and he had promised Haley he wouldn't do something like that. Then there was Rachel…Not likely considering their complicated history. As far she knew, they rarely spoke.

Then, there was Brooke. Both Brooke and Lucas were living in New York, attending NYU and were joined at the hip. Haley suspected they were one of the couples that Rachel told her about. They had their own dorm rooms, but spent every night together anyway. Haley knew that Brooke probably shared everything with Lucas and vice versa, so she was always hesitant talk to Brooke about Nathan.

There was also the fact that Brooke was always busy anyway, since the clothing line she'd started in high school, Clothes Over Bro's, was doing very well. She had even contemplated dropping out of college to focus on her company full time, until her mother stepped in and agreed to help her out so she could finish up her degree. Now, Brooke was still doing all of the design work, but due to her mother's sharp company management, the company was doing better than ever, creating even more work for Brooke. So in the end, Haley decided that it was best not to involve Brooke and it wasn't very likely that Nathan would call her either.

As far as close friends went, that left Peyton and Jake. Interestingly enough, Peyton and Jake ended up being the most solid couples of their once tight-knit group. Maybe it was because of Jenny, who definitely always made them take their relationship a little bit more seriously, but Haley always sensed that something changed for them after everything went down with her and Nathan. Peyton and Jake had become even closer and found themselves not wanting to be a part at all. So, Jake ended up dropping out of UNC and when Peyton graduated high school and was accepted to the Savannah College of Art and Design, Peyton and Jake ended up moving to Savannah with Jenny and quickly eloping. Everything seemed to be working out well for them, especially since Jenny's biological mother, Nikki, and her family lived there. After a little adjustment period, they all shared custody, which left Peyton and Jake with some time to themselves as newlyweds and also time to raise Jenny as a family. Jake supported them as best as he could, taking on a variety of jobs, including playing in a local band. Haley was happy for them, but when she thought about it, as she sometimes did, she found herself slightly envious. She felt like Peyton and Jake were picking up where she and Nathan left off and that kind of made her jealous, which was just one more emotion that Haley worked hard to suppress. The last thing her friends needed was hearing something like that.

Haley rarely talked with anyone about Nathan, but when she did, she found it was always easiest to talk to Peyton. She knew Jake was still close with Nathan, but that never seemed to be an issue. Haley decided maybe she could try and sort out some of this stuff with Peyton. She was surprised when Peyton answered on the first ring.

"Hey! You're up? I know it's late there on the east coast!"

"Oh, yeah!" Peyton said loudly as she competed with a lot of noise in the background. "We're at a party! We were just…Uh,…give me a second." Haley wasn't an idiot. She knew that they must have been watching the Duke game and were probably celebrating. "Okay, I'm good. What's up, girl?"

"Well, uh, do you have time to talk? I mean, I don't want to bother you."

"Jake is just with some of his guy friends and Nikki has Jenny, so I'm cool. What's on your mind?"

"Can you guess?"

Peyton sighed nervously. "You watched?"

"I was there."

Peyton gasped. "No!...Haley!"

"It gets better…Chase took me there!"

"Oh my God! What happened?"

"I broke up with Chase is what happened!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Haley! You must be so upset—Wait! Did you say that you broke up with Chase?"

"I did. I had to." Haley heard silence on the other end for a moment.

"Why?" Peyton asked quietly.

Now, Haley sighed. "Because I think I realized that Nathan is it for me. I tried to fight it…but I just can't. I don't think I can be with anyone else."

Peyton squealed with delight. "Oh my God! I'm so happy you finally realized that! Finally! Now things—"

Haley cut her off. "Peyton, I didn't say I want to be with him now…It's more that I honestly think I'm so damaged that I can't be with anyone else. I don't think I can be with him either at this point. I'm not good for him right now." Again silence fell over the phone. "Peyton, tell me what you think. I can tell you have something to say."

"I think that's stupid," Peyton said flatly.

"I'm not denying that Peyton, but that's how I feel. I can't help how I feel, even if it is stupid."

"But did you see him? Did he see you?"

"Yeah. I even talked to him."

"And it went that bad?"

"No…" Haley said slowly. "It went that good…too good. It was too easy to just fall back into everything…Peyton, in those five minutes I feel things I haven't felt in years…and I'm not sure I want to feel those things."

"Haley, just take some time and let things settle—"

"That's what Nino said…"

"Nino? Nathan's old roommate?"

"Yeah. He said that maybe the time just wasn't right…Or maybe I got that wrong. I don't know…I thought it was a metaphor for Nathan and me but…I don't know."

"So what if he was right, Haley? Are you telling me the time's not right now? But maybe later?"

"I just can't go back there…Not now. Not yet."

"But someday, Haley? Is that what you're saying?"

"I,…I,…I don't know, Peyton. All I know is that _I can't be with anyone else_. I don't want to be with anyone else."

"Well, that's a start, Haley. Just take it one step at a time."

"There's something else, Peyton. I know it's not fair to ask, but…Did Jake talk to Nathan tonight? Did Nathan, maybe call or something?"

"Well, Jake called him to congratulate him, but he just got his voicemail. I'm sure he'll call back though. Why? Haley, do you want us to say something to him?"

"I don't know. I'm so confused. It's probably better if you don't."

"Okay, but here's the thing, Haley; you're going to have to deal with him sooner or later. It sounds like you've already opened those old wounds and maybe it's time to just deal with this once and for all."

"Not yet. I just broke up with Chase…My head's all a mess…I need to figure out some things myself before I deal with him….But God, Peyton," Haley said desperately, "it was so good to see him and I'm so proud of him. I just hope he knows that…"

"I'm sure he does, Haley. I'll make sure he does."

"Thanks," Haley said sincerely. "Okay, enough about me. How's married life?"

"Good…Look Haley, there's something I feel like I have to tell you and I hope you don't get upset with me."

"What is it?" Haley asked nervously. She just knew this had something to do with Nathan and feared the worst. Did he have a girlfriend? Despite her instincts, had he moved on?

"Well, Nathan was there when Jake and I got married…We didn't plan it…It just kind of happened, like I said, but when I told you, I did leave out that he was there."

"Okay…So, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to tell you the story behind it. I also didn't want you to get upset that you weren't there."

"Were Brooke and Lucas there?"

"No, just Nathan. He was visiting Jake…They're still close you know…and I had just moved out there and Jake had just proposed, like the night before, and we told Nathan and …He just kind of flipped out on us…He got really drunk and he was saying all these things that didn't make any sense and in the end, Jake and I just knew that somehow it was all about you. Then he told us how much he missed you and how he wanted to marry you and how just _talking _about getting married meant nothing and somehow….I don't even really know how, Haley, because we were drinking at the time, but we were all sober the next day…Nathan just convinced Jake and I that we had to get married _now_. That we shouldn't wait. He told us to just start living our lives and to live in the moment and it just all seemed to make sense. My father was around and he drove down and so did Jake's parents and we had Jenny there and…Nathan. He was his best man. We just went out into one of the squares in downtown Savannah and it was just perfect, Haley!"

"Why are you telling me this now, Peyton?"

"Because Jake and I care about Nathan, too and we both honestly believe that we have him to thank for giving us that push to take the leap. Jake was scared after what happened with Nikki, I know that, but now that we're together and committed, and a real family, it's exactly what we both wanted. So, I'm telling you this because I feel like I owe Nathan in a way and if I can help him and help you make things right…That's what I want to do. I want to help you two."

"He asked me to marry him," Haley found herself blurting out as memories flashed back at her.

"What? Tonight? "

"No," Haley said quickly. "A long time ago…the night we spent together…the night his Uncle Coop's wedding…"

"Oh," Peyton said understanding. "Now it makes sense….He was talking about a proposal not meaning anything."

Haley winced from the other side of the phone. She sat in silence as she fought back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Haley? Haley? Are you there?"

Haley still couldn't speak as the tears began to fall down her face. Everything came back to her at once and it all just hurt so much.

"Haley, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you…I shouldn't have said anything about my wedding. I didn't know you turned him down either."

The fact that Peyton still didn't understand what happened that night just made Haley feel worse and she didn't have it in her to explain it to her completely. All she wanted was for the hurting to stop and for all these painful memories to go back to that deep dark place inside of her.

"He was right. It didn't mean anything. I was only sixteen—"

"That's not what he meant—" Peyton tried to explain.

"I don't want to hear anymore, Peyton. Look, I have to go. I just can't talk about this anymore. If you talk to him, please don't say anything about me. I'm sorry I got you in the middle of this, but I can't deal with him right now."

"Haley! Wait!—"

"I have to go. But for the record, Peyton; I said yes. _I was going to marry him_. Maybe not right then, but someday."

"Haley!"

Haley hung up the phone before she could hear the rest of what Peyton had to say. True to form, Peyton called back immediately, and Haley shut her phone off. She crawled back into bed and was genuinely sorry that she had got her hopes up in the first place that now was the time to reconnect with Nathan. There was just too much between her and Nathan and she didn't want to think about the past and the mistakes she made anymore. Peyton was right in that she would have to face him sometime, but not today.

As Haley fell back into bed, she began to set some goals for herself. When she did finally talk to Nathan, she wanted to be as strong and independent as possible. She was inspired by his comeback and his incredible victory at the game. He looked so strong and confident out there on the court. It was so far from where she found herself, but that could change.

Then there was what Nino had told her. He firmly believed that at some point, Nathan was going to need support, especially if he lost basketball because of his back injury. Haley wanted to be there for him. She regretted not being there for him before, but she could make up for that now. First, she had to do some work on herself.

As Haley tried to get to sleep that night, she began to feel a sense of renewed energy and focus. It was Nathan. He was her focus. In her heart, Haley believed that once they talked, whenever that would be, things would come together. She just wanted to be as ready as possible for when that happened.

* * *

"Nathan Scott! Where do you think you're going?" A female voice rang out.

Nathan reluctantly turned around to see Nino and Layla waiting for him outside the locker room. If it were just Nino standing there, he would have just gone ahead and taken the cab back to the hotel like he planned, but Layla was there and he didn't want to be rude to her, especially since she was six months pregnant. So he headed towards them, not wanting to make them chase after him either.

"I'm not in the mood for heading out," Nathan said brooding.

"Oh, so we back to that, again, huh? Well, we just aren't going to stand for that, are we, Layla?"

"Nope!" Layla confirmed as she crossed her arms along her chest.

"Look, I'm not going to drink if that's what you're worried about. In fact, that's why I don't want to go out with the guys," Nathan explained.

"Well, that's two of us!" Layla laughed. "But I am hungry, so let's go!"

Nino smiled brightly at Nathan knowing that he couldn't turn Layla down. He unwillingly followed Layla, who was already ten steps ahead of them heading towards the exit.

It turned out every place they drove by was mobbed and eventually they just headed into one restaurant that didn't seem as crowed. Lucky for them, the hostess recognized Nathan right away and got them right in. Just after she seated them, she smiled flirtatiously at Nathan and slipped him her phone number. Nathan immediately crumpled up the napkin and threw it on the floor.

Layla and Nino looked at him began softly laughing.

"What?" Nathan shot out.

"You got it bad, boy. Man, I ain't never seen you like this," Nino said still laughing.

"I'm glad I can be a source of entertainment for you," Nathan muttered. The more Nino laughed, the angrier Nathan got. Finally, he looked at and glared at Nino. "Enough! You mind telling me why you let her leave like that, huh? Is this all some kind of sick game to you? Because we're talking about my life here!"

Nino grew serious as he and his wife exchanged nervous looks. "Nate, I tried to get her to stay…But she had to go. She told me to tell you—"

Nathan sat up straighten and leaned in. "What? What did she tell you?" Nathan knew he sounded desperate, but he didn't care. He was completely on edge with the idea that Haley had a message for him.

"She said she didn't want to go, but she had to. See that guy she was with put two and two together and got upset and she felt like she had to go chasing after that dumbass, and he was a dumbass, no mistaking that. Hey, Nate, how the hell did she get those tickets? Those were your seats you know."

"I don't know."

"I'll tell you," Layla piped in happily. "I got to talking to that boy while you were all off an your rendezvous—"

Nino smiled proudly at his wife and gave her a quick kiss. "That's my girl!"

"Anyway, he said he won them in some contest, but the problem was, he didn't remember entering no contest. He just got them in the mail, Federal Express, with some kind of letter," Layla finished explaining.

Nathan's slow smile gave away the fact that he had figured out where the tickets came from.

"Well?" Nino questioned him.

"Lydia," Nathan revealed. "This whole thing has Lydia written all over it."

"Who's that?" Layla asked intrigued.

"That's Haley's mom, right? The one who used to come out and take you out to lunch?" Nino asked.

"That's the one," Nathan confirmed sitting back in his chair.

Nino rubbed his hand together excitedly. "Oh, boy! This is getting good! My boy, Nate is about to get some, I just know it!"

Layla swiftly hit her husband. "Knock it off, Nino. It's not that easy. She's got that boyfriend. They've been together for a year and a half, he said."

"I heard it was only six months," Nathan said sourly. "And she already broke up with him."

"This is getting good," Layla said excitedly. "So you called her?"

"No. I talked to Lucas. He told me. Okay, so back to Haley. What else did she say?"

"She said you need a haircut!" Nino was happy to point out.

Nathan self-consciously tugged at the back of his head. "That's it? You spent over two hours with her and all she did was talk about my hair?"

"No, no! Tell him, Nino. Tell him what she said at the end," Layla instructed her husband.

"She said she was proud of you for walking."

"What?"

Layla hit Nino again, this time with her purse. "She did not! She said you need to talk to her."

"She did?" Nino questioned his wife.

"Yes! What the hell were you hearing? Walk? That didn't make no sense…"

"The boy was in wheelchair for three months!" Nino defended himself. "And it was loud in there!"

Nathan looked at Layla and Nino frustrated. "So which was it?"

"She definitely said she was proud of you," Nino confirmed. "She wanted me to tell you that."

"Yeah, that's not the important part," Nathan said as he anxiously began to tap his foot up and down. "Does she want to talk to me? Because Lucas said that I should wait…He said that she wasn't ready and I need to get my shit together first, but if Haley said we need to talk…" Nathan ran his hand through his long hair. "I don't know what to do."

"Why don't you call her mom? She obviously has some kind of ideas about the two of you," Layla suggested.

Nathan shook his head immediately. "I can't do that. We don't talk about Haley. Not directly any way. I can't risk screwing up our relationship."

"It's already screwed up if you ask me," Layla said out of the side of her mouth.

"I know…That's the point! I'm already so lucky she even talks to me. I don't want Mrs. James to think I'm just trying to get at her daughter."

"Whatever…My vote is to pick up the phone and call Haley. Maybe give it a few days to get her head straight, but then do it. I know what I heard and I know what I saw. You're just making this much more difficult than it has to be," Layla then stood up. "I'm heading off to the restroom."

Once she left, Nathan looked to Nino for his opinion.

"She's probably right." Drinks arrived at the table and Nino waited until the waitress left to continue. "Look, Nate, I tried to get her to stay and she was so close, but…she just went running off before I could stop her."

"She does that," Nathan said sadly. "Whenever things get tough, she just runs." That was what she was doing now. Running scared, probably running from him. Running from what she was feeling for him. Couldn't Lucas see that? Maybe Lucas was wrong…Maybe all Haley needed was a push. He used to be the one to stop her from running and give her that push. Who was doing that now? Maybe he should just forget about what Lucas said and call her.

"Okay, but here's the other thing," Nino began. "Now, I didn't get what you were talking about before, but I do now. I saw that firsthand. She still loves you, man. She's still in love with you." Nino took up his beer bottle and took a swig from it. "Now, I don't know if that makes it better or worse, but that's the truth." Nino then smiled at him mischievously.

"What?" Nathan asked curiously.

"I hear the Lakers might be looking to draft a point guard in June. Los Angeles is what? Six hours from Stanford?" Nino mused.

"Yeah, like I could get that lucky!"

"I have this friend who's an agent. He's just starting out, but he's real good."

"I'm pretty sure I'm going go with the draft and see what happens."

"Well anyway, when you're ready, his name is Clay Evans. Let me give you his number. Trust me, Nate, he's going to be real good and he's a good guy."

* * *

"Haley….Haley….Wake up, Haley…"

Haley sprung up and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Nathan!"

"Haley, it's me, Rachel…Were you having a nightmare?"

"No." The dream Haley was having about Nathan was definitely not a nightmare…but Rachel did have the right to think otherwise. Haley had nightmares frequently, night terrors is what the doctors called them since she thrashed around violently screaming. That was what usually brought Rachel into the room to calm her and each time she found herself screaming out for Nathan. Just like that day during the attack, it was Nathan she always wanted to come and save her, but instead, each time she woke up, he wasn't there and her reality became her nightmare.

This time, though, she had not been having one of those dreams. It was the same dream she had been having for the past two nights, ever since she saw him. In this dream, Nathan had actually kissed her outside the locker room during halftime and then one thing had led to another, and soon Haley swore she could actually feel his strong chiseled arms wrapped protectively around her body, his lips crashing against hers, his tongue in her mouth, her back pressed up against the wall, her hands running through his hair…but no, it was just a dream; a dream that Haley desperately wanted to go back to.

"Well, I need to tell you something…I just got a phone call…" Rachel said seriously. Haley's eyes widened and her heart dropped. Rachel was her most direction connection with Nathan!

"Nathan! He called!—"

"No. It actually was my mom. I guess they caught Daunte. They arrested him and they're questioning him right now. He's cooperating with them. I thought you would want to know."

"Wow…" This was not what she expected. This was good news though. Daunte would have lots of information to share with the F.B.I. Maybe he would know where Damien and Tim, who had gone on the run together right after Nathan was shot, were hiding out. Then, maybe Haley could finally stop looking over her shoulder. Maybe she could feel safe and the nightmares would stop once and for all. But that was about her and this news was more important for Nathan. Maybe Nathan could finally get some peace with this news. "So, have you talked to Nathan? Does he know?"

"No. I haven't heard from him," Rachel said irritated. "Anyway, sorry I woke you up."

"No, it's okay. I'm happy you did."

"Right, well I'm going back to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Haley tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. She was excited by this news. She saw it as _a sign_…that now, just a few days after coming face-to-face with Nathan, there was one less threat out there; one less obstacle to deal with. She decided she had to talk to him. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to share this with him. In the morning, she was going to do just that. She would get his number and make the first move. For now, Haley was content to go back to that dream.

* * *

Rachel and Haley were woken up just a few hours later by a ferocious knocking at the door. Both startled, the two girls huddled together nervously in front of their apartment door.

"Who is it?" Rachel shouted out.

"Palo Alto Police. We need you to open up. We have reason to believe there is an immediate threat to your safety."

Rachel opened the door a crack, confirmed that it was the police and then let the two officers inside.

"Haley James?"

"Yes," Haley said holding her hand up.

"I'm Officer Martinez. The F.B.I. has asked us to come down and keep an eye on you until they can get an agent here."

"Is this about Daunte Jones? We heard he was caught," Rachel spoke up.

"Daunte Jones was murdered early this morning on his way to being transferred to jail. We have reason to believe it was the work of the West family, because Mr. Jones was cooperating with the F.B.I. It seems that the West organization is still active in the Tree Hill area and they are still concerned about the information he may have to share."

"But Mr. West is in jail, right?" Rachel asked. "How can—"

"Damien," Haley said quietly. It was clear that Damien was the one behind this. He wasn't just hiding out. He would be running things now.

"Yes, we believe Damien West is behind this. And although their business interests have changed, they are still into illegal and dangerous activities. And that leads us to you, Ms. James," Office Martinez said gravely.

Haley felt a lump in her throat and knew in that instant her life was about to change again.

"The information received from Mr. Jones leads us to believe that Mr. West-Damien West-recently hired a hit man in the local area. It seems as if he is interested in you, Miss James. He doesn't want you alive."

Haley slowly felt her knees give out as she sank into the nearby couch. The officers were still talking, but Haley was having trouble processing what they were saying. Something about Witness Protection…the U.S. Marshals Service…and an Agent Derek Sommers that was flying out to see her…Yes, her life was about to change and all Haley could see in her future was fear.

* * *

There was no mistake about it. Nathan was frantic and desperate. He had to talk to Haley. He just had to. He had to hear her voice. He had to know she was okay. He had to hear it for himself.

He had called Lucas first for her number and Lucas had given it to him, but no luck. The number was not in service. Of course, it wouldn't be.

They had got to her. The cops. The F.B.I. Maybe even the Witness Protection people. They had all talked to him too. They had tried to get him to enter some program. To change his name, his identity, even if it was just for a short while. They wanted him to go into hiding. But what did he have to hide from? They weren't after him. Just like before, Damien knew the best way to get to him was through Haley. So, there was no point in hiding.

They, mostly that Agent Sommers, had been pissed with him for not cooperating. He had told him that his life was in danger. That just by being alive and available to testify against Tim and Damien at some point, he was a threat. That didn't matter to him. After being pushed through a glass window and being shot in public, he saw no point in hiding. He hated hiding, secrets and lying. He was done with all that. He was going to keep living his life and if they got to him, so be it. The damage had already been done anyway.

Haley was a different story. Haley had to be safe. She just had to be. He had heard from Lucas that she was cooperating. He also heard she was scared. That killed him.

So his desperation drove him to call the most direct link he had to Haley; Rachel. He knew Rachel was with Haley. She had always stuck by her side; he had to give her that. She had also kept her away from him, just like he'd asked all those years ago. There was no mistake about it; Nathan immensely regretted asking her to do that. He had been so young, immature and hurt. Now, he could see that asking Rachel, of all people, someone who never wanted them together in the first place, to keep them apart; that was a bad move.

Still it was worth a shot. He picked up his phone and pulled up Rachel's number.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah. Is everything okay? I mean okay as it can be?"

"I'm fine…." Nathan decided to get right to the point. "Look, Rachel, I need to talk to Haley."

"What? No, Nathan…That's not a good idea. That's not going to help anything."

"Rachel…Please. Is she there? Is she okay? I just need to talk to her. Please,"

"She's here. We're at a hotel right now. Look, she's fine right now. She scared and so am I, but we're doing everything they're asking."

"Let me talk to her," Nathan pleaded again. "Please…just go and ask her. Just tell her I want to talk to her."

Rachel paused as if considering this. "Fine. Give me a minute."

Nathan heard her put down the phone and tried his best to hear Rachel asking Haley, but he couldn't hear anything. She must have put him on hold. Eventually he heard Rachel come back on the line.

"She doesn't want to talk to you. I'm sorry, Nathan, but she's just too scared right now and she doesn't think it would be a good idea. Frankly, I don't think that's what's best for her either."

"Rachel, are you telling me the truth, because I know that—"

"I have to go Nathan. They want us to be careful about what we say on the phone. I'm probably going to change my number too, okay? For now, just call mom if you need to get in touch with me."

The phone went dead and so did his connection with Haley.

* * *

Haley watched as Rachel looked at her ringing cell phone to see who was calling, then looked right at her, then walked into the bathroom and shut the door. That meant one thing. It was Nathan calling. It didn't happen often, but there was no mistaking that look in Rachel's eyes.

Haley patiently waited for Rachel to come out. When she finally did, Haley was about to burst from the anticipation.

"Was that Nathan?"

"Yes," Rachel slowly admitted. "He's fine."

"What did he want?"

"He…He wanted to make sure we were safe."

Haley bit her lip. She hated to ask…to sound so pathetic, but she had to ask. She had to know. "He didn't…Did he want to talk to me, Rachel?"

"No. He said he didn't want to talk to you, Haley."

"Oh." Just when Haley thought it couldn't get any worse. Nathan had rejected her. Yet again. He obviously hadn't changed that much. That reconnection….It had just been fleeting…or maybe just embellished in her mind. And now they were right back where they started…

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "I Never Told You" (Colbie Caillat)

AN: Thanks for reading and for all the reviews! I'm feeling the love here. I'm going to try and get the next chapter up very quickly. It is short and wraps up this time jump. I know you probably are left with questions…The next chapter hopefully answers _some_ of them…Then comes the final time jump…


	49. Chapter 48

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 48: "I Never Told You" (Colbie Caillat)

Nathan walked into Karen's Café and promptly knelt down and opened his arms. Lily ran over and threw himself at him. He gave her a tight bear hug and lifted her up, causing her to squeal with delight.

"I can't believe how big you got!" Nathan exclaimed as he put her back down.

"Let me feel," Lily said putting her hand up to his head.

Nathan leaned down her let her feel his buzz cut. "You like it?"

"No! You look different!" Lily giggled.

"Let him be, Lily! You'll get him all to yourself later," Karen said as she came out from behind the counter. "Now, come here!" She smiled brightly as she held out her arms. Nathan stood back up and gave his aunt a warm hug.

"It's nice to see you…It's nice to be here," Nathan said looking around and taking a seat at the counter.

"Is it?" Karen asked seriously as she went back behind the counter and stood across from him.

Nathan shrugged. "Yeah, I mean, Tree Hill is still home for me…even if it's not for other people."

"I was hoping you wouldn't stay away just because of everything that's going on."

"No," Nathan shook his head. "I had to come and see Whitey. I wanted to tell him personally about the Lakers, even though I'm sure he already heard. And I needed to properly thank him. And you and Uncle Keith…"

"Yes! We have a nice dinner planned." Karen said happily. "This is so exciting! We are so proud of you, Nathan! So what happens now?"

"Well, I already had my workout with the team and met with their doctors, so I'm good to go. I'm planning on moving out to L.A. as soon as possible!" Nathan said excitedly. "I'm really looking forward to heading to the West Coast."

"That sounds great….Just remember, Nathan," Karen said looking at him carefully. "There's only one Tree Hill and it's your home."

"I won't forget," Nathan said sincerely. "So is Lucas coming back from New York for the summer? I haven't talked to him lately."

It was June and he knew Lucas had finished up with school and wasn't sure what his summer plans were. Things had been a little strained between the two of them, mostly because of Haley. The news about Damien's active role in the West organization and his pursuit of Haley had put everyone on edge. Lucas was very hesitant to talk with Nathan about Haley anymore, especially over the phone. He claimed it was at the behest of Agent Sommers who had evidence that the information about Haley's exact whereabouts had been gathered through the West's tapping of cell phone calls. He also believed that most of the illegal activities of the West's centered around high tech operations like website hacking, identity theft, online embezzlement and fraud. If that were true, that could mean the West's, which included some of Damien's extending family, could be located anywhere.

Despite that, Nathan still found himself constantly talking to Lucas about her and eventually Lucas had grown fed up with it. Nathan couldn't help it. He just wanted to know as much about her as possible and his sister had been no help at all.

"He was back, but he's actually on his way Boston, now," Karen said hesitantly. "He just left…He's…visiting Haley."

Nathan couldn't hide his surprise. "Boston? Haley's in Boston?"

Karen sighed. "Yeah. She has a summer internship there I guess. I'm not sure I should be telling you that, Nathan," Karen lowered her voice. "We have to be careful what we say around here."

Nathan looked around at the nearly empty café. "Here?"

"I don't know," she said nervously. "We all just want Haley to be safe, you know. We try not talk on the phone about her and I'm not sure if Lucas even has her number. He just set up this meeting through Agent Sommers."

"I can't stand that guy. There's just something about him that I don't trust."

"Well, I hope you're wrong, Nathan, because from what I understand, Haley is really scared and I'm not sure she'll ever come back to Tree Hill," Karen said disappointedly. "Did you know her parents sold their house?"

"Yeah. They're doing some type of RV trip across the country." Lydia had called and told him this, and in their short conversation, he could tell how scared she was. It was a far cry from the conversation he had with her after his last Duke game. During that amazing conversation, when she had called to congratulate him on winning, they had talked about Haley indirectly. Lydia had asked him if the tickets he gave her were put to good use. He told her they were put to best possible use. She told him she firmly agreed and that this was just the start…That things still needed time, but in the end, they would all work out like they were supposed to. But she had stressed, they still needed a little bit more time. She promised to get back in touch before the summer.

That conversation was before she knew about the imminent danger her daughter was in. He knew that changed things for her and he understood that. This time when she called him to congratulate him on the draft, she didn't refer to Haley at all and had kept things very superficial and vague. He surmised like everyone else, she was also hesitant to talk on the phone, but that was not all. He also knew that she was done interfering in things for now. Her daughter's safety had to come first.

"I understand why they left Tree Hill when they did, but they've always talked about doing that RV trip. Maybe that's a good thing for them," Karen said optimistically.

"Better than my mom who sold both the houses and high tailed it to Europe as soon as Rachel left for college," Nathan muttered. The second his mother could, she had left their hometown and for her, there was no looking back. She was carving herself out a very different life and for completely different reasons that the James'. That life did not seem to include him, which was just as well. He had never really been close with her anyway.

"Well, you always have us, Nathan," Karen said putting her hand on top of his.

"I know and that helps, believe me it does," Nathan said appreciatively.

"But?" Karen prodded him.

"I just miss her…Still…So much…" Nathan didn't even need to say her name. Karen knew from the desperation in his voice he was talking about Haley. "I thought when I went to L.A., she would be close. I wanted to find her. I figured with her parents gone, she was spending the summer there. I was going to be careful. It's just-I have so many things I never told her…"

"Nathan….You have to let her come to you, especially with the way things are now. She just scared right now. She'll get in touch with you when she's ready."

"What if she doesn't?" Nathan asked expressing his worst fear. "I feel like I have no connection to her anymore. I just want to talk to her, Aunt Karen. Maybe I should go to Boston? I could find her there. Do you know where Lucas is meeting her?" Nathan asked hopefully.

"No, but even if I did…It's not safe right now, Nathan. You have to put Haley first. She needs to stay safe. With any luck, they'll catch Damien soon and then this whole nightmare will be over."

"So I wait?" Nathan asked seeking confirmation from the aunt he trusted.

"Yes. The question is; how long are you willing to wait, Nathan?"

* * *

"Tutor Girl!" Brooke exclaimed as she hugged Haley tightly. Brooke then nervously looked around the public park they were in. "Wait," she whispered. "Am I supposed to call you that? What name are you going by?"

Haley had to laugh. "Don't worry, Brooke. I'm fine here, really. But as far anyone else knows, I'm Leigh Jameson. They like us to keep similar names."

Brooke smiled and nodded. "I get it. Leigh…as in Hey, Leigh! Clever, Tutor Girl!"

"Derek thought of it," Haley told her. "But that's only for paperwork and stuff since I'm not officially in the program. But I still want my friends to still call me Haley."

"Derek?" Brooke asked winking at her. "You're on a first name basis with Agent Sommers? He's a total hottie! He met with Lucas and me in New York."

"Brooke, don't be like that. He told me to call him that. He's been a big help. He's the one who got me this internship."

"How is that going?"

"It's really good, better than I expected. It's a non-profit group that works with victims of domestic violence. It helps women get back on their feet and find jobs and homes; stuff like that. Anyway, the people there are really nice. One of them is Derek's sister, Natasha. She's super busy and I'm glad I can help her."

"So…" Brooke said slowly. "Are you going back to Stanford, Hales? Or is it too dangerous?"

Haley sighed deeply. "I'm going back. It's my dream. My only dream really. I've always wanted to graduate from Stanford. I won't let Damien take that away from me," Haley said confidently. "That's why I didn't want to fully enter the Witness Protection Program. I was lucky Derek was willing to work with me like this."

"You're so strong, Hales. I don't know how you do it."

"I'll have Rachel with me and I just have to be extra careful. They caught the guy that was hired by Damien. That's good and bad, I guess. It means that Daunte was telling the truth, but it also means I can trust the F.B.I. and Marshals to keep me safe."

"That's good…and Lucas and I will do whatever we can to help too. We'll keep things quiet."

"I just want to be done with college," she said resignedly. "But I think I might change my major! I think I might want to do social work now," Haley perked up a bit.

"Really? You don't want to teach?"

"I don't know anymore…I would have to do student teaching my last semester and…I'm just not that crazy about being out in a public setting like a school right now... If I switch to social work though, I could count this as an internship and load up on classes and get my degree in that. So I plan on just throwing myself into school when I get back. I think it'll be good to keep me busy."

"Then what?" Brooke asked watching her carefully.

Haley sighed again. Right now, she just hated thinking about her future, but the truth was she had thought about it. "Well, Natasha says they would hire me…as long as they get this grant. They're applying for it now and they think they'll get, it so they can add a paid position. It would be very low paying, close to nothing actually...but it's a real quiet and small place…and I feel safe here," Haley softly admitted. "And I'm helping people, I guess. Making some positive from my situation."

"So you'll move to Boston?"

"Probably. As long as I get through this year."

"You will, Haley," Brooke said assuredly. "I know it's tough, but it will be over before you know it."

"What about you? Are you planning on staying in New York after graduation?"

"_I am_," Brooke said pointedly.

"Lucas isn't?" Haley guessed. "Where is he anyway? I thought you two were coming together…"

"He's flying in from Tree Hill," Brooke slowly revealed. "I caught the train from New York. We're spending the summer apart."

"Really?" Haley asked surprised. "Are you two fighting?"

"He's mad at me, I guess. He doesn't get mad often, you know. Usually, I'm the one going off on him, but…this time I screwed up."

"Well, he'll get over it Brooke."

"I'm not so sure. He took off back to Tree Hill. At first I just thought he was there for a visit, but then he calls and says he's there for the summer and I can't help but think that this is it…that we're breaking up." Brooke's eyes began to fill with tears as she looked down at her hands. "So," Brooke said through a choked sob, "I'm not even sure if he's coming…"

"Brooke…I'm sure you two can work it out and I know he's coming. Derek talked to him yesterday. Maybe his flight is just delayed," Haley speculated.

"Maybe," Brooke said unconvinced. Brooke then sat up and Haley could see she was beginning to get worked up. "You know, I just don't understand why he's that upset with me! It's not like I did anything _to him_! It's not like what Nathan did a couple of years ago and yet he forgave him so easily, not that I blame Nathan since I probably would have done the same thing, but still!"

Brooke was so wrapped up in her venting she didn't notice Haley tense up at the mention of Nathan's name.

Brooke just continued on her rant. "And I trusted him! I told him what I did and here he is just throwing it back in my face, talking about principles and values! Ha! It's not like he trusts me! It's not even like I could have betrayed him like Nathan did, because I didn't even know!" It must have been then that Brooke realized she had been talking about Nathan and about something Haley had no idea about. Brooke wiped away her tears and looked at Haley with remorse. "I'm sorry. I was just rambling on…"

"It's okay. So, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Brooke began to tell her the story about her fight with Lucas even though Haley was most interested in the story that involved Nathan.

"I've been so busy with Clothes Over Bro's and I just got caught up in everything…and I had this Calculus final, and my professor freaked me out and told me that I was failing and what I needed to get for a grade to pass…If I didn't pass, Haley, then my mom would get on my case, she has this way of making me feel like a giant failure, and I want to graduate on time….so…I cheated," Brooke said not meeting Haley's eyes.

"You cheated?" Haley asked shocked.

"Yes! I know, okay! Please don't hate me, too. I just couldn't take it!"

"I don't hate you, Brooke! I'm just surprised. How did you cheat?"

"We had two exams left. So I got a copy of the one the professor gave last year and memorized that one. That worked, but then I got nervous about the final since it counts for so much, so….I paid someone to take it for me. It's a big class, so they just went in and put my name on it..."

"And you got caught?"

"No! I would be expelled if I got caught!"

"So how did Lucas find out?"

"He found out because I told him, Haley."

Haley looked at Brooke in disbelief.

"I didn't want any secrets between us, especially when we're getting so serious," Brooke seriously explained. "A lot of good that did me!"

"Well, I still think you two can work that out. Just give him some time to calm down. And then, if you have to—fight for him. Fight for what you have together. If it's worth it, don't let him go. Don't let him push you away."

Brooke nodded. "Thanks, Haley. That helps."

Haley then began to fidget nervously as she thought about whether to ask Brooke about the other story, the one that involved Nathan. That was the one that she was just dying to know. The one that Lucas definitely hadn't told her about. "Brooke?"

"Yes?"

"What…what about Nathan? Why did Lucas get so mad at Nathan?" Even as she asked the question, Haley couldn't help but feel defensive of Nathan. It was so stupid, she knew, since apparently Nathan had in some way betrayed Lucas, but still…she couldn't help it. She still felt so protective over him and knew how people always had a tendency to misjudge him.

"During senior year, Lucas confided in Nathan that he had the HCM heart condition. Again, not that he told me," Brooke reminded her. "Anyway, Nathan told his mom and dad and that's why Lucas stopped playing basketball. It all worked out in the end if you ask me! He could have died if he kept playing! That's when Lucas started to get really into writing and now he's a journalism major—"

"I knew," Haley blurted out to a shocked Brooke. "I knew too. He told me, too….and….I said nothing. I just let him keep playing and risking his life…Oh, God, Brooke, I'm such a bad person," Haley said putting her hands in her head as she began to cry.

Brooke began to gently rub her back. "No, you're not. You were still going through a rough time. We all were."

Haley looked up at Brooke and felt her warmth and compassion. It was warmth and compassion she didn't feel that she deserved. "It's secrets, Brooke. Nathan hates secrets. He always has and me…I'm the queen of secrets! I just can't help myself! I have so many of them, Brooke, and now with everything that's going on, _I'm can't stop telling secrets even if I wanted to_."

"You can with me. Tell me, Haley. Tell me, whatever you want. You don't have to hide anything."

"Lucas…"

"This will stay between us, girl. Unless you have some crazy heart condition that might kill you!"

Haley and Brooke shared a quick laugh and then the two girls composed themselves.

Haley took a deep breath. The prospect of talking…of saying things aloud that she had been thinking…it already felt good.

"I have regrets, Brooke."

"About Nathan?"

"Yes. Lots of them. Most recently, I saw him at the Duke game—"

"I know."

"You did? Lucas? Lucas told you?" Brooke nodded. "Okay, well," Haley continued, "at that game I should have told him how I felt. Instead, I just held it in. Chase was there, but that was just an excuse. I was just so scared and now I'm more scared than ever—"

"Hales!"

Haley and Brooke looked and saw Lucas running towards them. Haley stood up just as Lucas arrived and grabbed her in tight hug.

"I missed you!" Lucas said giving her another squeeze.

"I missed you, too!"

When they pulled away, Lucas and Brooke looked at each other and looked away. The awkwardness set in and Haley knew she had to do something.

"Hey, Brooke…There's a Starbucks right around the corner—"

"You mean the one with the really long line?" Brooke looked at her annoyed.

"Yes…Trust me, Brooke. I want to catch up with Lucas," Haley said giving Brooke silent signals that this was in her best interest. "Go get us some coffees."

"Fine."

As Brooke left, Haley sat back down with Lucas at her side.

"So how much did she tell you?" Lucas asked miserably.

"Enough. Enough for me to get what a jackass you're being!"

"Haley!"

"Don't, Haley me!" Haley was definitely all fired up now. When talking with Brooke, she had begun to open up. She had been ready to pour her heart out and now she found it impossible to bottle back up her emotions. She was feeling and talking at the same time. This was something she hadn't done in a long time. "Brooke made a mistake and you're punishing her for telling you about it! That's not fair!"

"It wasn't just a mistake, Haley! It's who she is! What kind of person cheats? What does that say about who she is as a person?"

"She made a mistake," Haley said angrily. "A mistake! Isn't she allowed to make a mistake? Is she supposed to be perfect?"

"No, but we've been talking about the future a lot…About after graduation…About what comes next… and I need to seriously think about whether I want to be making decisions about my future based on a person who has those kinds of morals."

"Those kinds of morals? Let me ask you this, Luke-Was Brooke forced to tell you what she did?"

"No—"

"Did she seem truly sorry about what she did?"

"Yes—"

"Is she trying to have an open and honest relationship with you?"

"I guess, but—"

"No, Luke!" Haley yelled standing up. "It's not right! It's not like she did anything to you. _She didn't cheat on you!_"

Lucas flinched when he heard that one.

"She made a mistake," Haley said lowering her voice now that she knew she was getting through to him. "You're in a relationship and people make mistakes; that's how it goes. You're supposed to help each other and be there! You both screw up and you move on. You just,…you just," Haley was now overcome with emotion as her anger was replaced with sorrow, "you just…. don't leave. You don't walk away and leave them standing there wondering what happened…You don't let the mistakes win."

Feeling emotionally spent after her outburst, Haley slowly sat back down next to a stunned Lucas. A few tears rolled down her cheeks as they sat there in silence for a few minutes.

"Haley…" Lucas trailed off knowing that Haley's message to him was stemming from her own experiences.

"He just left," Haley said closing her eyes. "I still don't know why, Lucas. I still don't know why he left. He just went off to college…I know things were horrible. I know we had that horrible fight, but…you just don't leave like that…and I miss…I miss everything about him…"

Haley opened her eyes saw that Lucas was torn. As much as they had tried to avoid it, he was stuck right in the middle of Haley and Nathan.

"Forget I said anything, Luke," Haley said closing herself back up. "It wasn't fair for me to—"

"Haley," Lucas said taking his phone out of his pocket. "Let's call him. Let's call him right now. He wants to talk to you."

"He does?" Haley asked feeling her heart lighten.

"Yes. He wanted your number. I wouldn't give it to him at first, but then I did, but you changed it. Now, I know I can't give it to him because of these damn rules from Agent Sommers, but…we can use my phone. I'm sure it would be okay." Haley's heart began to pound as she thought about this. "He's worried about you."

Haley was almost convinced until Lucas said that. Rachel had said the same thing. Of course she expected Nathan to be worried about her; everyone was, even her neighbors from her apartment near Stanford that barely knew her. They had been concerned after seeing the police come there in the middle of the night. If he was just worried, then surely Lucas could let him know she was okay and there was no need to jeopardize her safety for that.

"No, I can't, Luke."

"Haley, he's going to L.A., you know. He's going to be on the same coast. You could go see him…"

"I heard that, but I can't even drive, Luke."

"So get your license, finally," Lucas lightly suggested.

"No," Haley said definitively. She had no interest in getting her license. It was another thing that sounded simple to some people but was incredibly complicated for her. She couldn't deal with that.

"Then let me talk to him. He'll come to you, I know he will."

"No!" Haley said quickly, her eyes widening. "He can't, Luke. He can't know where I am. The only way I can finish my year out at Stanford is if I keep a low-profile and Derek says Nathan won't work with him. You can't tell him. Just tell him I'm okay. Don't tell him the rest." Haley could read the disappointment in Lucas' eyes. "Okay?"

"Haley, I really think you two need to talk. It's long overdue."

"Not now, Luke. Just let me get through the year at Stanford. It's all I can do just to get by." Haley still had the goals she had set for herself before she found out about this Damien mess. That goal included becoming strong and clear-headed…so that when the time came when she did finally talk to Nathan, and she still knew that time would come, she could be in the best emotional place. Once Damien was caught, she knew that would be possible, but for now, it was still all she could do to focus on herself and her safety. "Promise me."

"Fine," Lucas reluctantly agreed.

"But, Luke, I meant what I said. You need to stay and work this out with Brooke.…You accept the people you love for who they are, both the good and the bad. And you make mistakes and learn from them. Just don't let a single mistake ruin what you guys have and don't wait either…Just do it now; fix it before it's too late."

* * *

Nathan was tossing and turning in Lucas' bed unable to fall asleep. He hadn't planned on staying at his aunt and uncle's house, but since Lucas wasn't home, they had insisted. He had a nice evening, visiting with them. Karen had cooked a nice home cooked meal, he had taken Lily down to the Riverwalk, and then went to a local bar with Keith for a little while. Now, as he lay in bed, Nathan had to admit that his aunt's words had an effect on him. Even after all that happened here, Tree Hill still felt like home.

In his heart, Nathan still wanted to move back here someday. In the back of his mind, he still had that picture-perfect image of having a family….lots of kids…a house with a basketball hoop and a pool…but only with Haley. It was always back to her. After trying so hard to move on, he wasn't even denying it anymore. He had never done that. After seeing her and talking to her at that game, he had dropped the pretense of not wanting her. He wanted nothing more than to be with her,…except maybe keeping her safe.

So Haley was the other thing that was keeping him up that night. It was the thing that kept him up most nights. He had been so excited about the prospect of moving to L.A. The Lakers had put him through quite the workout and testing, and he put everything he had into it. After Nino had planted the idea of him going to L.A., it became his mission to end up there. Then, we he found out that's where he was drafted, it seemed like everything was looking up. He was determined that somehow, sometime during his tenure in L.A., he would find a way to see Haley.

Damien had clearly thrown a wrench into that plan. Nathan couldn't believe they hadn't caught the bastard yet. Once they caught Daunte, he was sure Damien would be next. Even when Daunte was murdered, he figured that bold move could cost Damien his freedom. But no, months later, it appeared as if Damien got away with that too.

This just led to even more of a reason for mistrust with the F.B.I. Just like the Tree Hill police, it seemed like these people were incompetent and there were probably people in the organization that were on the West's payroll. What haunted him the most was the possibility of Agent Sommers working for the West's. In the end, Nathan had tried to remind himself that Agent Sommers doing all the right things to keep Haley safe and that wasn't likely. The problem was that now it seemed like he was controlling her and Nathan didn't like that. If he was honest, the guy made him a little jealous. Okay, maybe crazy jealous. Nathan was sure that he and Haley had been on the verge of reconnecting and then BAM! All of sudden came this big new threat, and Haley started doing whatever this guy told her and Agent Sommers made sure he knew that. At times, Nathan wasn't even completely sure this threat was real and he wasn't really buying all that phone tapping crap. It was suspicious after all that Daunte had been caught and then killed just as quick, before he could give any real important information, other than that about Haley. It was most definitely convenient for anyone in law enforcement who had been or still was on the West payroll.

So the fact that Damien was still on the lam, and supposedly interested in harming Haley, made him rethink his plan. Karen, like Lucas, was probably right and he needed to stay away for now. He was also going to do his best to honor Lucas' request-no partying, no heavy drinking and definitely no girls…Then maybe Damien would be caught and Lucas would be willing to help him win her back.

That was already one of his big regrets. There had been far too many girls; girls that meant nothing to him. He had made sure of that with his series of convoluted rules. All the rules tied back to Haley of course. Haley at that one night...The night that he played over and over in his mind…The night that he was determined he wouldn't come close to experiencing again. He never wanted to lose control of himself, the way he had with that night with Haley. He still wanted Haley to be the only person to see him that way, because even though he had given up hope of being with Haley when he created "the rules," he had never let go of her and what they had.

As Nathan tried to drift off to sleep, he went back to that night. He played it over his mind, narrowing in on the part that affected him the most.

* * *

_Haley was lying on top of him. They were both still naked, coming off of their second time of making love. At first, Haley was just absently running her fingers up and down his chest. Then she started laying kisses on his chest. Eventually these kisses spread up and down his body and before long, he found himself getting hard again. The more she kissed him and rubbed her body up against his, the more excited he became. Their first time making love had been nice, but also a little anxious…the second time was passionate…what was this time going to be like? Haley was taking the lead this time and he was content to just lay back and find out. He was at her complete mercy and she could do anything she wanted…_

_Eventually, Haley's lips reached his mouth and he felt his body going to overdrive. His hands moved through her hair and then ran down the length of her back and rested on her bare ass. Haley was still the one taking initiative though, as she shifted so that her weight rested on her knees, with one leg on either side of him, her wet entrance hovering dangerously close to his hardness as she leaned forward and whispered in his ear._

"_I want to be with you again, Nathan." Her voice was filled lust. "Tell me you want to do this again…"_

_He found himself barely able to speak. He wanted nothing more than to be with her again, but it was as if he couldn't say it. "Mmmm."_

_Haley shifted her position so that she was sitting upright, just by his hardness, which she took in her hands and began lightly stroking._

_All Nathan could was lay there. He laid there letting her stroke him until he couldn't take it anymore. He was the most turned on he'd ever been and felt himself losing control. He reached over and grabbed the last condom out of the box._

_Haley smiled and leaned over and took the condom from his hand. "Can I put it on?"_

"_Uh, yeah…" Fuck. This was just going to make him even harder, he could just tell._

_Haley tore off the wrapper and pulled out the condom. She stretched it out and then looked down at his member with great concentration. Nathan would have laughed at of her if he wasn't so turned on. She then reached down and began trying to put the condom on._

"_Nathan?"_

"_Yeah?" Nathan was still having trouble focusing on anything other than the throbbing of his hardness._

"_This seems a little tight…Is it supposed to be like this?"_

"_I'm just so hard, Hales. I just want you so much," Nathan muttered closing his eyes. His erection was almost to the point of being painful._

_Once finished, Haley remained on her knees and leaned in and kissed him. Once again, their bodies lined up perfectly._

"_Haley,...please, help me out here," Nathan begged._

"_I'm not sure what to do," Haley whispered softly._

"_Just do what feels good, Hales."_

_Haley reached down and guided his member to his entrance. Ever so slowly, she slipped it inside her as she shifted on top of him._

_This time, Nathan was the one crying out. "Oh, God!"_

_He opened his eyes and saw Haley sitting on top of him smiling. Then she began to move. He tried his best to watch her, but considering what he was feeling, that was pretty difficult. _

"_Nathan?" _

"_Haley," was all he could manage. He tried to snap himself out of the pure ecstasy that was sweeping through his body. He looked at her seriously. Haley was slightly panting as she struggled to keep a steady rhythm pushing in and out of him. He wanted to reach up and run his hands over her beautiful body, stopping on her bouncing breasts. He wanted to cup them, to squeeze them in an effort to bring her just a little more pleasure. He owed her that, considering the enjoyment she was brining him. He reached his arms up just as Haley leaned forward, putting her palm on his chest. She used that as leverage to ride him harder. It should have been easier for him to reach out and caress her breasts now, but with this new position, it was as if weights were suddenly tied his arms. He dropped his arms, realizing that it was probably not possible for him to be an active participant in this round of lovemaking._

"_Does this feel good?" Haley asked through her staggered breaths._

_Was she kidding? She was so tight and wet and this position allowed him to go even deeper into her. From looking at and listening to her, he guessed she felt that too. Her face showed that she was getting lost in him and the pleasure she was feeling and she was softly crying out with each of her moments. "So fucking good," he blurted out. _

_Haley began to move even faster. "I know!"_

"_Don't stop, Hales!" Nathan cried out as he grabbed her waist. He wanted to guide her movements, but didn't really need to. Instead he found himself just holding on to her._

_Haley began to ride him even harder and it was all he could do not to let go. He couldn't get over how much Haley was into this…and how little control he had. He was deep inside of her and it felt incredible._

_By now, they were both moaning together. He knew the end was coming but tried to hold on. He let of Haley's waist and grabbed at the sheets. He jerked his hips towards her and they both cried out again._

_It was not long after that Nathan lost control. Yes, to his embarrassment, he came before her. Just seconds later, Haley followed. She screamed out, louder than she had all night, and then promptly collapsed on top of him._

_Yes, he had seen another side of Haley that night, but she had also seen another side of him. It was a side of him he wouldn't let anyone else see._

* * *

Haley had told him later that night was a mistake. Maybe she was right. Maybe the connection they had that night might have been too deep for both of them. They had been so young, maybe too young, to understand the gravity of it and they had very different responses to it. While it made him feel even closer to Haley, ultimately, it had sent her running.

Haley and her running. After all these years, was she still doing that? With these new fears, he could just imagine her retreating further and further away. Was it possible that, despite what his sister, cousin and aunt were telling him, that he still knew her best? That now, especially now, she needed someone to breakthrough that thick walls of hers? After all, he knew that he had seen a side of Haley that night that no one else had. It was side of her that he would give his life to see again.

So to go back to his aunt's question about how long he was willing to wait for her…Nathan was unsure how to answer it. If he knew that if Haley felt the same way as him…he'd wait as long as it took. The problem was, according to his sister, she wanted nothing to do with him and Lucas wasn't much of a help either. Nathan had no idea where he stood with her. Then, there was the issue of her safety…the last he wanted to do was endanger her in any way, especially if she didn't even want him around. So for now, he would wait. Eventually she would have to come back to him. If what they shared that night was as deep and meaningful as he thought it was, it was the kind of thing that didn't just go away.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Need You Now" (Lady Antebellum)

AN: Sorry. I know this is so frustrating! That is why I'm trying to post so fast, I swear! The next two chapters I have to post close together- so just give me some time to edit them. I'm not sure how long that will take.

So right now, it is mainly Damien's threat that is keeping them apart-back to the with or without you theme. Hopefully, that was evident? This is always what I had in mind for this part of the story. Next chapter picks up 2 ½ years later! But it's the final time jump.

Thanks for the reviews! I know this chapter was filler and short, so no pressure to review. Please just keep reading! That's all I ask…the payoff is coming!


	50. Chapter 49

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 49: "Need You Now" (Lady Antebellum)

Nathan slammed the door shut to his penthouse, made his way to the kitchen and threw his phone and keys on the counter. He fished around his liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch and poured himself a glass. He took off his coat and sat down alone at his kitchen table and took a long drink. It was only a few minutes later when he found himself refilling his glass just as the intercom buzzer sound. For a second, a brief second, his heart fluttered as he considered the possibilities of who it could be. It was Christmas, after all. It was holiday; a time to visit friends and family. Maybe someone was there to see him. He had plenty of opportunities to see people, but the problem was that he had a day game and the plans he made had fallen through. So, he hadn't expected to see anyone. Hell, he had made it clear that he didn't want to see anyone. He even turned down his teammate, Tony Battle's, last minute offer to spend the night with his family, preferring instead just to bunker down and get through the holiday on his own. Still, he sat there thinking that maybe it could be…No, it couldn't be. He had made it clear he didn't want that.

Nathan pushed the intercom buzzer.

"Mr. Scott? A Ms. Ryan is here to see you," the security guard responded.

"Fuck," Nathan growled. What the hell was she doing there? How did she even know he lived there? This was beyond crazy. She was like some stalker that wouldn't go away. He knew the only real way to get rid of her was to tell her himself to leave, so he reluctantly told the security guard he could let her in.

A few minutes later, came the knock at his door. Nathan opened the door but quickly made his way back to kitchen and his drink.

"Hey! Merry Christmas!" The bubbly blonde with a vivacious smile exclaimed.

"What are you doing here, Katie?" Nathan scowled. "How did you even figure out where I live?"

"You told me," Katie giggled. Nathan just stood there shaking his head at her. "You don't remember?" She continued. Well, anyway, I brought you a present," Katie said as she graciously placed a decoratively wrapped gift on his kitchen table.

"Why? I didn't get you anything," he muttered.

"It's okay. I actually kind of had an idea. I was hoping your present to me could be to meet me for lunch tomorrow since I know you have a late night game."

"I can't," Nathan said, not bother to come up with an excuse. "Look, Katie, I just got in and I'm going to hit the shower, so…"

"I could join you," Katie purred as she pushed up against him.

"I'm not in the mood." Nathan lightly pushed her away and headed towards his bathroom. "You should go."

* * *

Haley looked up gratefully at Lucas and Brooke. "Thank you guys so much for coming and spending the holidays with me! Really, though guys—I am perfectly capable of being alone!"

"Still, you should have told us," Lucas said softly.

"I would have been okay," Haley said defensively. "How did you know I would be here?"

Lucas and Brooke both shifted uneasily. "We just wanted to come here," Brooke finally answered. "And we have some more Christmas presents for you!"

Haley looked around confused as she couldn't see any more presents to open.

"We're staying until New Year's and…" Lucas began.

"Peyton and Jake are flying in to join us!" Brooke screeched.

"Really? Wow! That's so nice," Haley said genuinely touched. "Rachel will be back by then you know…"

"Who cares about Rachel?" Brooke scoffed. "She thinks just because she moved out here to Boston with you that she's your only friend, but she's not."

Haley just sighed not wanting to get into it. In her opinion, Rachel had been very good her over the years, even if she wasn't around as much anymore. Her friends did not share that opinion and always made it be known. They always spoke of Rachel like she was when they went to Tree Hill High, but that had been a long time ago. Haley full-heartedly believed Rachel had changed since then. Their time at St. Rita's Academy had proved that. Just like Nathan, Rachel always had a sweetness and vulnerability to her that not many people saw. Haley experienced that side to her many times growing up when they were childhood best friends, but her other friends hadn't. With her time in rehab after her drug overdose, Haley believed Rachel had been able to embrace that nurturing side of herself, especially during the time when she helped Haley through her ordeal. They were close then and shared a lot, including their feelings about the violent acts that had affected them. It was that bond that kept Haley's faith in Rachel, even though it had wavered as they began to grow apart in recent years.

Their relationship began to change back in California. Slowly, the deep meaningful talks they used to have happened less and less often. Now in Boston, they didn't happen at all. She still didn't understand why Rachel was living with her. She was gone half the time flying out to modeling gigs in New York and California and must have been making a fortune on them. How else could she afford the rent on their place? Then, when she was in Boston, all she seemed interested in doing was partying.

But Haley could only afford to live in such a safe, secure place like she was because of Rachel. When they moved out there, Rachel had insisted on their Beacon Hill townhouse and on picking up most of the rent for it. It was very small, but also in a great location in the city, which made it very pricy. These things were very important to Haley since Damien still hadn't been caught and she still didn't have her license. The closest subway stop was just a couple of blocks down and everything else she needed was in walking distance. It killed her to rely on Rachel like that, but in the end, Rachel had signed the lease and made all the arrangements, leaving her little choice. In the end, Haley's pride was hurt, but she was grateful.

Still, Rachel was still Rachel, and was slightly possessive of Haley, which always seemed to cause some friction with the rest of her friends. In the end though, it was Rachel that Haley had lived with and relied on for her the past five and a half years, so she just always dismissed her friend's warnings about Rachel. Haley believed she knew her better than they did. Plus, if she began to listen to her friends and the things they had started to tell her over the past year, then that would mean she would have to question everything about her and Rachel's relationship. Haley was afraid to do that. She didn't to even want think about the possibility of living with and trusting someone who lied to her.

"It would be nice if we could _all _do something together," Haley hopefully suggested.

"Maybe," Brooke said unconvincingly.

"Brooke, maybe we should, you know," Lucas looked and nudged at Brooke knowingly.

"What?" Haley asked perplexed.

"Not now," Brooke said out of the side of her mouth. "Just wait, until…you know…"

"What?" Haley repeated.

"We have another surprise for you, but you're not getting it until New Year's," Brooke quickly explained as she distractedly checked her buzzing cell phone. "Shit! That's my mom!"

Brooke stood up and looked hopelessly around for a private place to take her call. Haley pointed over towards her bedroom. Brooke went in Haley's bedroom and shut the door, but the apartment was so small and Brooke's voice was so loud and animated, that they could hear every word of her side of the conversation.

"What happened?...How did that happen?...It's not my fault!...You are? It's Christmas, Mom!...What time?...Ugh!...Mom? Mom?" Haley's door flew open and Brooke burst back into the living room. "Fuck!"

Lucas immediately stood up. "What?"

"Victoria's on her way," Brooke pouted.

"Here? To Boston?" Lucas asked.

"Yes! I guess she needs me to redesign some dresses for our spring line because the fabric we ordered is out of stock! She claims it can't wait another day and she just has to get them in person! Hmph! I just think she's pissed because we left her alone on Christmas!" Brooke looked sadly at Haley and held out her arms. "I'm sorry, Haley. She was boarding the plane and I just have to go! We can catch up later though, I promise. We have the rest of the week, because I am telling you, I am not letting my mother stay a minute more than she has to! I am going to whip out some fabulous designs right away and get her on the next plane back so we can get back to visiting!"

"It's okay. I'm just happy we spent the day together," Haley said hugging Brooke.

"You want me to stay?" Lucas asked.

"No, don't make Brooke deal with her mom alone!" Haley half-joked as she hugged Lucas. Lucas pulled away and eyed her carefully. "I'm fine," Haley added sternly.

"Thank you!" Brooke said as she grabbed Lucas' hand and headed out the door.

Haley closed the door to her apartment and looked around. She couldn't deny the fact that she hated being alone. It was just another thing she kept hidden deep down from everyone. Haley began picking up their cartoons of Chinese food and putting them away and then began to tackle the wine glasses. The three of them had shared one bottle of wine and had just opened a second. Haley poured herself a glass from the new bottle before finishing cleaning up.

Once the kitchen was okay, Haley began picking up the wrapping paper on the living room floor. That's when she noticed one last present with her name on it. Haley debated putting the present aside since Lucas and Brooke weren't there to witness her opening it, but then decided she might as well open it. It wasn't like she had anything else to do.

Haley grabbed her bottle of wine and glass and sat down on her couch with the present. First she took off the ribbon that adorned the neatly trimmed packed, and then began to tear at the corner of the flat rectangular object. It only took that little piece to come off for Haley to still her movements as she saw what the present was. She put down the present and picked up her glass of wine and chugged it down. She then picked the bottle and took a swig from that. She sat there for another minute before she was ready. She summoned her courage and she picked up the present again. Haley swallowed hard and began to tear the paper from around the picture frame so she could see the rest of the picture.

There were actually two pictures in the frame. Each picture was matted with a circle around the snapshots. The first one Haley had never seen before, but vaguely remembered posing for. It was taken the night of the basketball banquet after the Raven's won the State Championship. It had six beaming faces…Peyton, Jake, Brooke, Lucas, Haley and Nathan. It was the last time the six of them had been together in happy circumstances. They stood there with linked arms, in their dress clothes, surrounded by balloons and decorations.

The second picture was the one Haley recognized immediately, even just from the small corner of wrapping paper she initially tore off. It was a picture that held a much deeper significance to her. It was taken right around the time she and Nathan had officially started dating and was taken on the day Haley knew for sure she was in love with him. The picture had Brooke, Lucas, and Haley sitting around Nathan, who was holding a newborn Lily. Haley smiled as she remembered how he was too nervous to put his arm around her shoulders. So, she had just leaned in instead. It was a great picture, but it was posed and Haley preferred the one that was taken just minutes before which was just of her, Nathan and Lily. It was a picture that was usually relegated to the top drawer of her nightstand, but for some reason, she had recently taken it out and displayed it. Haley took another swig from the wine bottle as she considered this eerie coincidence as her fingered traced over Nathan's face.

Finally, Haley placed the picture on the coffee table and out of the corner of her eye, she saw a cell phone. She picked it up and pressed a button and saw Brooke's face come up as the background. It had to be Lucas' phone. Prepared to call Brooke, Haley pulled up Lucas' favorite contacts. Her heart began pounding in her chest at the name that jumped out at her. Number four was Nathan. Not being able to help herself, she pulled up Lucas' call history. His last call was to Nathan, just minutes before he and Brooke arrived at her place. She flipped over to the text messages. Much to her chagrin, there were very few text messages there. This didn't surprise Haley a whole lot, as this was something that Agent Sommers had drilled in their heads. They had to be careful all the time about their emails and text messages. Anything that was in writing, electronic and could be hacked into. Apparently the West's were technologically savvy and had the F.B.I. had reason to believe their organization had moved most of their illegal operations, which included internet surveillance, online.

Yet there was one text message there that caught Haley's eye. It was from Nathan, sent to Lucas early this morning. It read: _Don't bother coming by. Made plans. Just take care of her. TTYL_

Haley had trouble trying to wrap her head around this cryptic message. Who was "her?" Was it Brooke? Could be, but didn't quite make sense. There was another possibility nagging at the bottom of her heart, one that made a little more sense, but she tried her best to suppress that one. She didn't want to get her hopes up.

Haley held Lucas' phone in her hands and scrolled down to Nathan's number. She sat there staring at it for a minute. Another minute went by. Haley picked up the wine bottle and drank some more then went back to staring at the phone. Finally, she threw the phone on the coffee table.

Haley got up and began to pace around the room as her mind went back to that text message. Brooke and Lucas had shown up expectedly at her door in the early afternoon. She had asked them how they had known she would be alone. They hadn't really answered her. Her initial plans had been to fly out to Florida to spend the holidays with her brother and his family and her parents, but at the last minute, her mother had called and suggested that since everyone was sick, they should delay their Christmas celebration and she should stay put in Boston.

That ended up being fine since Haley wanted to stick around to help a family she was working with at her job at the Boston Coalition for Victims of Domestic Violence. The family had come in the center unexpectedly and were going through some rough times and having trouble finding a safe place to stay. Haley had been able to set them up with a place, but their situation was still tenuous. Most of the people who worked or volunteered at the center had plans for the holidays with their families, so Haley had decided she could stick around to keep the place open and be on call in case they needed anything. Rachel already had plans to fly into France to see her mother and although she had offered to cancel, Haley had convinced her not to. Haley wondered if it was possible if Nathan knew any of this. Did he keep tabs on her? He was in Boston after all….

Yes, Haley still found it hard to believe that Nathan had been traded by the Lakers to the Celtics shortly after her move to Boston. What an amazing coincidence…At first, she took that as a sign. That was a time when she had gotten her hopes up, only to have them dashed repeatedly. Her initial feelings had been of panic and fear; that was a norm for her these days. So she waited, hoping that Nathan would get in touch with her…but he didn't. This disappointed her, but she couldn't blame him.

Haley knew she was to blame for a lot of their separation and lack of communication, especially during her final year at Stanford, when he was living in Los Angeles. During that time, she was confused about him and whether he wanted to talk to her. On one hand, she had Rachel repeatedly saying he didn't, but Lucas had told her once he did. So Haley brushed that all aside since Damien was still out there anyway, yet she did have a game plan. The plan had always been to find out a way to talk directly to Nathan, preferably in person, once Damien was caught. The second she found out that happened, and Haley and her family had a strong conviction that it was always on the verge of happening, she would get in touch with him. So she waited…and waited….and waited….but two and half years later, the power of positive thinking had gotten her nowhere; Damien was still a threat to her.

During that year in California, Haley kept herself together by staying focused on her dream; graduating from Stanford. Then when graduation came, she found only a small sense of personal satisfaction. Other than that, she felt empty…which led her back to her desire to be with Nathan. She knew it was pathetic to think that just being with him could solve all her problems and fill that void inside of her…but it was more than that. He could help her, because he knew her best. She still couldn't open herself up to anyone the way she had with him. But by the time she realized that, he had left L.A. for the summer, so she couldn't seek him out even if she wanted to. So Haley's new game plan became moving to Boston, another place she felt safe, and then somehow getting in touch with him once she was settled, even if it was over the phone, but she did really wanted to see him in person.

After Nathan was traded to Boston, she thought that would easier, except for what Rachel was telling her. She didn't believe her at first until she saw it for herself. Seeing him in person, even from a distance, confirmed what Rachel told her; that Nathan hated Boston and was upset he had been traded there. Haley couldn't blame him. She couldn't imagine having no say in where you were living or playing. What confused her was the fact that Nathan had extended his contract and elected to move to Boston with a two-year deal in place; that made her think twice about Rachel's intentions.

Her doubts stemmed from the fact that Rachel always had trouble accepting Haley's relationship with her brother. Haley wanted to believe Rachel had moved beyond that and had grown from her therapy, but there was one thing that she kept going back to. Right before the attack when she visited Rachel at the rehabilitation center, Rachel admitted that she didn't want her brother and Haley together at all. She also said that she was going work to try and get over it. In the end, they never had the opportunity to get that far. In the end, Haley had to believe that Rachel would never intentionally try to keep them separated the way her friends were suggesting she was. She just couldn't believe that Rachel, who was still the one who had her to calm her during her nightmares when she called out for Nathan, had it in her to lie to her face about him.

Most of all, Rachel's information about Nathan seemed to measure up. After Nathan was in Boston for a few months, it became apparent to Haley that Nathan was not going to get in touch with her. At this point, Haley was sick of waiting for Damien to get caught or Nathan to get in touch with her. So, she decided she would make the first move; she felt strong enough to do that. She wanted to do it on her own, so went to one of his games. Later, she saw how stupid that was. What did she expect? That he would be able to pick her out of the crowd? That she would be able to find her way to the locker room on her own during halftime? None of this worked out and on top of it, he had barely played that game. While he had excelled during his first two months on the team, the following months hadn't been the same. Haley assumed this was because of his back. She had seen him tugging at it, both at the game she went to and one the ones she watched on tv. Beyond that, in person she saw in his face how miserable he was.

Wanting to help him, Haley saw that since apparently she couldn't do this on her own, to get some help. Her most obvious choice was still Rachel since she knew they had been back in touch ever since their father was denied parole, right around the time she decided to move to Boston. The parole hearing had taken a toll on Rachel, and she assumed on Nathan as well. Back then, she had asked Rachel to pass along a message to him about wanting to get in touch, but she heard nothing. Then, after attending the game, which was about a year ago and after seeing his decline with his career, she had been a little more firm with Rachel. She asked Rachel to arrange a time when she could meet with him. This time Rachel had come through, at least that's what she chose to believe. Haley had waited at the coffee shop for over three hours for Nathan to show up, but he had stood her up. She had tried not to get too upset about that, but in the end it had been a setback. Rachel told her at the last minute, he had decided he didn't want to go. After doing a lot of soul searching, Haley decided in her heart to believe that Nathan had just gotten scared, probably just like she had. They both had a history of doing that because of the deep connection they shared. Even meeting for a cup of coffee couldn't be a casual thing for them. This time, Haley was determined to try and break that pattern of running from what they had.

So, Haley decided to reach out to Lucas. She waited until they met up in person when she visited him and Brooke in the new ritzy apartment in the New York City. The Celtics basketball season had just ended, and it was a dismal finish since they didn't even make the playoffs. She had been upfront with Lucas, letting him know she was concerned about Nathan and wanted to talk with him. During her time in NYC, Lucas had tried to get in touch with Nathan to set something up, but he had no luck. It was as if Nathan had disappeared. He wasn't answering any calls or emails. At first, it made them all nervous, until Luke had been able to find out that he was just hiding out somewhere with his agent, Clay. Clay told Lucas that Nathan needed to regroup and was taking some much needed time off. So Haley left from her visit with Lucas, back in that holding pattern. Lucas promised he would set something up when Nathan got back to Boston, but that never happened. Lucas had implied that Nathan was busy and focused on his career. There was evidence of this in his improved performance on the court during his second season in Boston. He was getting a lot more playing time and seemed to have his focus back. Yet, in this sports-crazy city, there was still talk of a possible trade. The trade could happen at any time, which was something that the press loved to speculate about.

Lucas had still promised he would make things happen. Haley knew what that meant; for the time-being, Nathan had refused to see her. She backed off pressuring Lucas about it. Haley still wasn't giving up hope, though. She just wanted to somehow finally get in touch with Nathan. She knew if he talked to her, if he saw her, just like he did at that Duke game, things could change very fast.

Now, after finishing off that second bottle of wine, Haley found herself ready to test out that theory, even if it would prove she had it all wrong. At this point, she would rather hurt than feel nothing at all. She had been numb for a long time now. Her days consisted of working, eating and sleeping. Her only friends in Boston were those from her job, and they were really more like acquaintances…Then there was Rachel. It was times like this, when Rachel was gone, that the loneliness set it. During all this, Haley was sure to keep on her happy face, which was something she was good at. This worked, as she was convinced that no one really understood just how unhappy or lonely she was.

Before she could think about it anymore, Haley hit the button to call Nathan. Her hand was shaking as she brought the phone to her ear. She had no idea what she was going to say. All she knew was that she wanted to hear his voice.

"Hello?" A female voice answered.

Haley felt pangs in heart as she sat in silence.

"Hello? Lucas? Nathan's in the shower. He'll be out in a minute," the voice sweetly explained.

Haley ended the call. It took only a few seconds for her body to catch up with her heart as she launched into a series of uncontrollable sobs.

* * *

Nathan stumbled out of the shower headed towards the kitchen with one thing on his mind; finishing off that bottle of scotch. Instead, Nathan found a barely clothed Katie standing in his kitchen putting down his cell phone.

"Did you just fucking answer my phone?" Nathan glowered at her.

"Relax, baby. I took care of it….Looking for this?" Katie smiled brightly as she held up his bottle.

"What the fuck, Katie? Wasn't I clear enough? Get the fuck out of here! You know the rules!"

Katie laughed wickedly. "Right, the rules. Well, Nate, seeing as how we already broke two of your precious rules, I thought we could break a few more."

"Get the fuck out," Nathan said coldly.

This seemed to upset Katie. Her entire demeanor quickly changed from confident and sultry to crushed and heartbroken. "Nathan…I just thought…I really thought we had something," Katie began to softly sob. "You kissed me. Like a real kiss. That had to mean something right?"

"Fuck," Nathan muttered as the guilt set in. He didn't remember breaking that rule, but he had been pretty wasted. He stood there and silently vowed to strictly return to his rules. He felt like a giant jackass and never wanted to make a girl feel that way again. That was one of the reasons for his rules. Girls were supposed to understand what they were getting themselves into. Clearly, this hadn't happened this time.

Nathan picked up Katie's clothes off the floor and gently put them in her hands. "Here…Look, Katie, I'm sorry, okay? You really don't want a guy like me, okay? I'm real fucked up. Just get dressed and leave."

Once again Katie's mood shifted. Her tears stopped and she looked at Nathan with determination. "Take me to lunch tomorrow," she said sternly.

Nathan was taken aback. Her mood had shifted again. This chick definitely had her own issues. He had to end this and he had to do this fast. It might as well be in a public place.

"Fine. I'll meet you for lunch as long as you leave now."

Nathan brushed past Katie, who was starting to get dressed, went into his liquor cabinet, and grabbed a new bottle. He took the bottle and headed towards his bedroom.

* * *

Haley crawled into bed with a renewed sense of determination. She was not going to cry anymore. She was not going to let this get the best of her. Two of her best friends were in town, more were flying in and she liked helping people in her job. There were definitely plenty of things to look forward to in her life. Still, her mind kept going back to Nathan. He was in town today, too, she knew that. The Celtics had a home game today and one late tomorrow night. He would definitely be around. So maybe, Lucas and Brooke had flown in to spend the holidays with him? That was possible…then again his text message had said he had plans…No, it said he _made_ plans. As if maybe there was a change in plans. It also said to take care of _her_. In her heart, Haley couldn't shake the feeling that it was Nathan who put Lucas and Brooke up to spending Christmas with her.

So now, despite the fact that a female had answered Nathan's phone, Haley couldn't help but get her hopes up. She just needed a sign; some sign to let her know that her heart was on the right track because what she was feeling was that maybe it was finally time for them to face each other. For better or worse, she was feeling strong enough to do that. That would include being strong enough to fight for him if she needed to.

Haley sat straight up as she heard Lucas' phone ringing. She dashed out to the living room and grabbed the phone. Sure enough, Nathan's name was flashing on the screen. Haley hesitated for just a moment and the ringing stopped and the flashing on the screen changed to "missed call."

Haley held the phone in her hands, heart racing. She waited. She waited some more. She waited just a little bit longer before finally putting the phone back down, as her heart dropped. Then came the beep. Haley picked back up the phone. The screen read "one new voicemail." Haley didn't hesitate this time. She hit the button and the sound of Nathan's voice began tugging at her heart.

"Haley—Lucas, I mean Lucas. Luke,…God, I can't believe I said that! It's just…I know you're with her. I know I shouldn't have called but I saw you did and…I didn't know it was you that called earlier. I hope you're not pissed about…That wasn't supposed to happen…My whole night's been one big shitshow, let me tell you. God, I'm babbling, huh? Wow, she must really be on my mind! Okay, so…I don't know. I have some extra tickets to my game if you want…if you need them…if…maybe…You should just delete this message, huh? I'm pretty drunk, in case you couldn't tell….Luke? Thank you. Thank you for taking care of her. I just didn't want her to be alone on Christmas. No one should have to be alone."

Haley clutched the phone close to her heart and as tears of relief and joy began streaming down her face. She closed her eyes and thought about calling him right back. The problem was she was now feeling lightheaded. She was drunk. He was drunk. No, it could wait. This was not how she would want their reunion to be. She would wait until the morning. Haley headed back toward bed, looking forward to the next day with a sense of hope and anticipation she hadn't had for a long time. She climbed in her bed and pressed the phone back to her ear. She listened to Nathan's voice a second time. Then a third time. She listen to that message over and over until she fell asleep, where his voice traveled into her dreams, such happy dreams of a reunion of two soul mates torn apart by tragic circumstances that never stopped loving each other.

* * *

Haley stood impatiently in long line at the Starbucks that was just down the block from her apartment. She was hung-over, there was no doubt about that, and she was desperate to have the taste of coffee in her mouth. Strong coffee. Black. None of those lattes, espressos, or flavory drinks would suffice. To add to her frustration, the cute peppy blonde in front of her was chatting incessantly on her cell phone. Haley hated when people did this. She found it to be so rude since everyone else in the line was forced to listen to one half of a conversation they had no interest in. Even worse was when the person stayed on the cell phone once they reached the cashier. How rude and disrespectful was that? This girl was definitely that type, Haley could just tell.

Still, all of this was not enough to damper Haley's spirits. Despite her horrible headache, her heart was light and she felt excited. Today was the day. She could feel in her bones. She wasn't sure yet what she would do, but she was going to do something. She could go to the Celtics game with Lucas and Brooke, or maybe not. Maybe she would just pick up the phone and call him. Haley felt that good about it. All she need was that damn coffee first.

Haley cringed as the peppy blonde hung up from one call and immediately began a new one. This would be her fourth call since they got in line. Apparently she had a story to tell and was anxious to tell as many people as possible. From what Haley, and the rest of people in line probably, had gathered, the girl had met "a really hot guy" that was "really, really rich," "really great in bed," and he was going to meet "her whole entire family" for lunch later that day.

Haley tried her best to tune the obviously shallow ditz out, but kept finding herself drawn back in. Right now, she was bragging about how close she was getting to this guy.

"Don't believe everything you read. He's not like that with everyone….Like, for example, last week he only had one day off in between games and flew out to see his cousin Lily's Christmas pageant. How fucking sweet is that? I guess he's really close to her…..I guess he has a sister too but he doesn't really talk about her. I don't think they get along…His cousin is town now. I actually talked to Lucas last night—"

Haley stiffened at the mention of Lucas' name. It was that detail that made everything click. As if she needed more confirmation, the girl's voice began screeching as she jumped up and down giddily.

"I know right! Oh my God! Can you believe I'm going to marry an N.B.A. player? I just know it! Nathan just can't resist—"

Haley didn't stay and listen to the rest. She bolted out of that place as fast as she could.

* * *

Nathan arrived a half hour late to his lunch with Katie. It was in some fancy hotel restaurant and although Nathan hadn't planned on staying long—just long enough to cut things off for sure— he still felt the need to throw on a shirt and tie. He walked into the hotel lobby and found Katie, all decked out in some tight red dress and heels, waiting anxiously. She squealed and ran towards him, and Nathan put his hand out to stop her from clobbering him. That didn't dissuade her much, as she began fawning over him as she reached up and pretended to fix his tie.

"Oh, baby, you look so good all dressed up! Okay, let's go! I have another surprise for you!" Katie grabbed his hand and began dragging him towards the restaurant.

Nathan slowed down once they reached the hostess, but then he assumed that Katie must have already gotten them a table. Off in the distance, Nathan saw full table of people standing up and looking at him. They were grinning. Standing closest was an older couple. It was the wife he noticed first. She had blonde hair…and looked just like Katie. There was also another couple, more his age…and the girl…had the same blonde hair…There also was a teenager…a boy…with the same blonde hair. Nathan didn't look any further. He didn't need to. This was undoubtedly Katie's family.

She was taking him to meet her family. That was just not going to happen.

Nathan quickly turned back around and began heading towards the lobby. Katie began chasing after him, making a huge public scene that he was sure was going to be in the gossip columns the following day.

"Don't you do this, Nathan Scott! Don't you turn out and walk out that door!"

Nathan kept on walking not even hesitating or looking back.

Katie's voice turned from desperation to anger once he reached the hotel front doors.

"You are so fucked up, Scott, you know that! I'm going to tell everyone everything! Every reporter that wants the inside scoop—"

Nathan walked out the door and never looked back.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Best I Ever Had" (Vertical Horizon)

AN: Sorry it took so long to post. I'm still not happy with the flow of this chapter, but didn't want to keep you waiting too long. I will try and fix that once I finish posting this story and go back and do some massive editing. The good news is that the next chapter is ready to go as well! I will post it after giving people time to read this one. I am sure you have plenty of questions and it answers _some of them_ and has more of Nathan's point of view.

Thank you for all the reviews! They mean so much! Thank you for reading too!


	51. Chapter 50

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 50: "Best I Ever Had" (Vertical Horizon)

At first Nathan thought the noise he was hearing was just the pounding in his head. Then he felt cold water on his face and jumped up. He found his agent, Clay Evans, standing at the side of his bed with an empty glass in his hand and a huge smile.

"Morning sunshine!" Clay shouted.

"Fuck, Clay! What the hell was that for?" Nathan used his sheets to wipe his face dry.

"Well, I heard you were late to yesterday, so I thought I'd pay you visit to make sure that you'd make today's flight."

Nathan glanced at his clock. "It's seven a.m.! My flight isn't until twelve!"

"Well, you could use a work out from what I hear."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Nathan growled as he pushed his way of bed and past Clay.

"It means that as your agent, I'm here to tell you that you need to shape up and focus. We've gone this far without a trade, and we're near the end of your two year deal, and I want you in the best possible shape for negotiations," Clay said following behind him to the kitchen. "Especially since I'm not sure where the hell your head is at this time around," Clay muttered loud enough for Nathan to hear.

"I'll be fine, Clay. I'm not slacking off. I just…was a little late."

"Okay, but did you hear what I said? Are you going to give me a clue what we're looking at this time around or are you just going to spring something on me last minute like you did last time?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nathan said feigning ignorance. This was not something he wanted to talk about.

"Right," Clay said wryly. "Boston….Am I ever going to find out her name, Nate?"

"I said I don't know what you're talking about, so stop saying that!" Nathan said pissed off.

Clay shifted in his feet and looked down. "Okay," he said sounding hurt. "You know, Nate, for a second I kind of thought you weren't just a client; for a second I thought we were friends, but that's cool. Like I said, as _your agent_, I do really need to know where your head is at though. I need to know whether we're looking to stay in Boston or if you want someplace else."

Nathan began to feel guilty. Clay was obviously upset and he was being a jerk. It wasn't right after all Clay had done for him, both professionally and personally. That line had been crossed a long time ago when he first gave Clay the key to his place a few months after he moved to Boston. During that time, he was very depressed and at times literally did need someone to drag his ass out of bed and get him going.

"Clay,…I'm sorry, man. It's just…you're right, my head's all messed up." For a second Nathan thought about leveling with Clay; about confirming his reason for wanting to be traded so badly to Boston. That this "Boston" he referred to was in fact a pseudonym for Haley. Instead, he chose to talk about something he knew Clay could relate to. "You were right. That Katie chick is a psycho."

He noticed Clay quickly loosening up as he took a seat at Nathan's kitchen table. "Do tell," Clay said excitedly.

Nathan began fixing them some coffee as he told Clay his most recent encounters with Katie. "So she fucking shows up at my place on Christmas, with a present I never opened by the way, and then tricks me into going to lunch with her parents! All this after sleeping with her twice!"

"Well, Nate, you broke one of your rules. What can I say? I mean, they are _your rules_."

"I forgot about the first time, okay? I was pretty wasted that night. Both nights actually."

Clay looked closely at Nathan and could see the trace of guilt in his eyes. He raised his eyebrows at Nathan.

Nathan sighed as he handed Clay a cup of coffee and sat down across from him. "I might have accidently broken another one of my rules. At least that's what she said."

Clay's eyes opened wide. "You didn't knock her up, did you?" He asked horrified.

"Hell,no! I'm not that stupid, Clay. She said I kissed her. I don't know. I think she's lying. Like I said; the girl's psycho."

"She's just needy, Nate. I could call that one a mile away. You should have just stuck with the girls I introduced you to. What about that girl I hooked you up with a couple of months ago? Gina?"

Nathan shook his head in disgust. "No. We didn't end up…."

"Why not? She was hot and I know she was into you. She hounded me for months."

"She just…We almost..." Nathan began stammering as he remembered that night. "She was into some kinky shit, Clay and I wasn't up for it."

Clay almost spit out his coffee and then looked up at Nathan clearly amused. "Nate, you can't leave me hanging like that! You gotta tell me. I mean, maybe I'll hit her up myself!"

"No, I can't," Nathan said growing embarrassed. He began to wish he never said anything in the first place as he couldn't deny this conversation was starting to strike a nerve with him.

"What? Did she tie you up? Handcuffs? What?" Clay asked anxiously.

"No! Nothing like that! God, not that I'd ever let it get that far, anyway!"

"Then what? Come on, Nate. You owe me for all the girls I set you up with! All the girls I knew would play by all your crazy rules and would be up for one night stands and shit! You gotta tell me! I'm dying here!"

"She did break one of my rules! That was the problem!"

"Really? Sorry, Nate…I told her you weren't the relationship type and you just wanted to have a good time. She didn't seem needy to me. In fact, she seemed just the opposite." Clay took a sip of his coffee as he began to ponder this. "Like the take charge type…See…yeah, you said kinky right? I could see that…Which rule? Did she get greedy? Did she want it twice in one night? I gotta tell you, I don't understand that rule, Nate. I mean if it's good and you're game, why hell not tap a girl twice in one night, especially since you know you're not going to—"

"She wanted take charge, okay?" Nathan said slamming his fist on the table.

Clay looked stunned. "Really? That's kinky, huh? Wow! I didn't see that coming. Didn't know about that rule. I gotta say, Nate, I get totally turned on by that position myself—"

"Enough! I told you okay? So let's just move on. I'm not after the aggressive type, okay?"

"Okay. It's just kind of hard to find someone that's not the aggressive type,…who is looking for a one night deal,…and won't want you to spend the night—"

"You know what, Clay? I'm done, okay? I'll become a fucking monk if I have to. I don't need to get laid that bad!"

The two guys sat there in silence for a while before Clay finally spoke.

"Nate, I know you're probably gonna kick my ass for saying this, but you're rules are fucked up, man. I mean, I'm not a relationship guy myself, but what's so bad about just being with nice girl?"

There was only one girl for Nathan, but Clay had no idea about that. It was something they never talked about. "You don't know anything about me, Clay."

"I'm your agent, Nathan. I know about your past. It's my job. Now, granted it would help hearing it from you firsthand instead of all the tabloids."

"Those reports only tell half of the story and that's the way I want it. It's better that way. It's safer."

Clay looked at Nathan with realization. "That's it. It's her; the one from Tree Hill. She's in Boston! She's the reason you're here! God, Nate, why didn't you tell me?"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it, okay? That guy, Damien, is still out there and I don't want the media digging too much into my past. It's bad enough they know how I almost beat the guy to death and was shot by one of his men. They don't have to understand why."

"Have you talked to her, Nate? Since you came?"

"No." Nathan stood up and headed over to his sink.

Clay stood up and followed him. "You know where she lives?"

"No, but I could tell you how much her apartment costs," Nathan blurted out.

"What?" Clay asked confused. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Forget it," Nathan muttered.

"You're fucking kidding me, right? You have any idea how many strings I had to pull to arrange that three way trade to get you here? And L.A. was going to offer you an extended contract! A five year deal! But, no, against my advice, you just had to get to Boston. And even then, I got you a two year deal!"

"This girl doesn't even matter anymore! She's doesn't want me. She hasn't come to a single game. She hasn't called! She knows I'm here and yet…nothing. So that's it, end of story. I don't want any other girl. I don't want any relationships. She's the best I ever had and that's it. I've accepted that."

"Bullshit," Clay hissed. "You just scared. You're scared of getting hurt again. I know what that's like!"

"You have no fucking clue!"

"Oh, really?" Clay said getting heated. "Well, maybe you know nothing about me, Nate! Did you know that I was married once—"

"Big fucking deal!" Nathan shouted. "So some girl divorced you and took half of your money! Think that story is new? I bet that's why—"

"She died!" Clay yelled back. He took a step away from Nathan and turned away, as if trying to hide the tears that were threatening to invade his eyes. When he finally turned back around, he was quiet and somber, making Nathan feel even guiltier. "She died in my arms. We hadn't even been married long and…she was gone."

Nathan was dumbfounded. In a million years, he never would have guessed this about Clay. Even worse he could see how their friendship was a one-way street. Clay had been a good friend to him, but Nathan now knew he had never really been there for Clay. Hell, now he realized he didn't really know much about the guy at all.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Nathan said disgusted with himself.

"It's fine…I'm fine now, but the reason why I'm telling you this is because if this girl,…'Boston,'…is here and she's alive, you got a chance, man. You got a chance to make this right."

"But she needs to be safe, Clay. I don't want to risk getting her hurt if she doesn't even want to talk to me."

"How do you know that? She may be just as miserable as your sorry ass. Don't you think you owe it to her to at least reach out?"

"I don't know how," Nathan softly admitted. "It's so fucking screwed up and the longer it's been since we've talked, the harder gets."

Clay shook his head understanding and then went and took a seat once again at the kitchen table. Nathan looked carefully at him and could see the wheels turning in his head. Clay was definitely mulling this whole situation over.

Nathan sat down across from him. "By the way, I'm pretty sure Katie's gonna trash me to the press. Get ready for another round of tabloid reports."

Clay slowly began to smile making Nathan extremely nervous. "So you're going to need something to give you some good press, huh?...Something to give you some roots in Boston so they think twice about trading your ass in the next couple of months?"

"Clay, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we can kill two birds with one stone. In case you forgot, Nate, I'm pretty damn good at my job. I just wish you would have told me about all this sooner." Clay pulled out his phone and began scrolling through his contacts. "Okay, so tell me what you know about 'Boston.' Give me something she's into these days; something she cares about."

"She works for the Boston Coalition for Victims of Domestic Violence."

Clay grinned. "Perfect. How do you feel about starting up a foundation? One that focuses…on say,… helping women? Maybe,…victims of domestic violence?"

"You think that'll work?"

"Of course it will," Clay said sounding offending. "God, I love how my mind works! Boston, both the girl and the city, are going to be loving you up by the time I get these things going. I'm talking starting with a press release, then some public appearances, getting a fundraiser going…"

Nathan couldn't help but let a small smile escape his lips. "Haley. Her name is Haley."

* * *

Haley put her last file away, shut down the computer and then tidied up the desk she shared with some of the volunteers. She wished their office was bigger, but that just wasn't possible. Their non-profit organization relied donations from private entities and a few government grants, so their budget was very tight. Heck, even the internet didn't work half the time, just as it wasn't today, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. Most of the people there were volunteers and Haley was the only one besides Natasha to receive a steady paycheck, which was barely above minimum wage. As a recent college grad, she knew that she could make more money elsewhere, but right now, she wasn't interested in that. At the end of the day, all that mattered to her was that she felt good about her job and that she was safe. For now, this job gave her both of those things.

Haley began to lock up the office, feeling tired and emotionally spent. For the past two days, she had thrown herself into work, which wasn't hard to do since she was the only person in their office that hadn't taken the week off. A new family had come in and so Haley had focused much of her attention on them, in addition to keeping up with all the normal paperwork, emails, when she could get them, and solicitations that were part of her job responsibilities.

Haley grabbed her heavy winter jacket, put on her hat and gloves and headed out the door. She was just locking up when she notice a young man rushing towards her.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! Miss? Can you wait a minute?"

Haley tensed up. Her initial instinct in dealing with strangers was always fear. She tried to push that aside since this guy looked professional and they were out on a very public street with lots of people milling about. "Yes?"

"I'm a reporter and I'm working on a story for tomorrow's paper. I need a quote from your organization."

"Natasha is the one who usually deals with public relations. She's off this week, but I can leave her a message if you want."

The reported looked desperately at Haley. "Please, miss. All of the papers are going to publish something tomorrow and I'm just looking for that extra edge. I'm just starting out and I'll take anything!"

Haley hesitated. She felt bad for the guy and wanted to help him. Yet, Haley knew she also had to protect herself. "We have confidentiality here in this organization so you can't use any names."

"That's fine. I protect my sources. It's really not a big deal though. Like I said, I'm just looking for anything that will be different."

"What is it about?"

"It's about Nathan Scott's new charity. You got the press release?"

"Huh?" Haley's mouth fell open.

"I guess not. Maybe it only went out to the media…Well, you know Nathan Scott? He plays for the Celtics? Well he's starting up this new foundation that's for victims of domestic violence. I assume he'll partner with your organization? Has he contacted you? Will you be working with him? Can I get a quote from your organization? A show of support?"

Haley took a deep breath. "Yes. I'll give you a quote. Do you want to write it down?"

* * *

"Did I fucking tell you I was good or what?"

Nathan laughed. "Yeah, you did, Clay. I'm just trying not to get my hopes up. My sister told me straight up that it wasn't her; that she wanted nothing to do with my foundation and that quote was just for public appearances."

"You don't believe her though? Would she lie like that?" Clay asked confused.

"Yeah, she totally would." He had made a deal with his sister, not once, but twice. He knew it was like making a deal with the devil, but it had all been about keeping Haley safe and Rachel could help him do that better than anyone else.

They had made this deal when they met in person to testify at their father's parole hearing. It was the first time they'd seen each other in years and awkward at first. Then everything got turned upside down.

The hearing should have just been a formality. Dan should have gotten of jail. He had met all the requirements for early release and Rachel's emotional plea on behalf of her father, where she talked about what happened to her as a child, had brought tears to some members of the parole board.

Both were stunned when the ruling came in. He was denied parole and the next hearing wasn't set for another two years. He and his sister had leaned on each then, both shaken by what they knew this meant; that the Wests were somehow behind this. It reeked of extortion, blackmail or bribery. Nathan began to see that the threat of Damien had to at least be partially true. Beyond that, he was also even more convinced that the Wests still had people working for them in the legal system. There was no way he was he just going to trust that Agent Sommers now and he wasn't going to leave Haley's safety solely up to him. So, he turned to his sister.

At first, he was hoping to find a way to become a part of Rachel and Haley's lives. Eventually, he hoped he could convince them to trust him and let him protect them instead of Agent Sommers and the F.B.I. He had plenty of money. He wanted to hire bodyguards and set them up with the best protection his money could buy. Everyone would report right back to him and he would always know exactly what was going on. That plan had been foiled when he visited his father in prison and he let his father get inside his head and it wasn't the first time that happened…

At first, Nathan was relieved when his father finally agreed to let him visit. He was hoping this was the start of something and that maybe they could begin to work through some of their issues. He planned on walking in there and telling his father how felt. He was going to tell him that despite everything, he loved him and appreciated how he always tried to protect them. He also wanted to acknowledge the sacrifice he knew his father had made when he agreed to work with the F.B.I. and take a jail sentence. Nathan truly believed the only reason he was free and had never been charged with a crime was because of his father. So he went in there, ready to get that all off of his chest. He found out quickly his father did not have that type of conversation on his mind.

As soon as he sat down, Dan began warning him about the Wests. In their conversation, Nathan learned that although Damien's father, David West, was in jail, he had still tried to run their operations from "the inside." Even in jail, he apparently had a lot of respect and power, and for some years, he was able to do this. Over time, this changed as Damien tried to steer the organization away from his father, moving them towards illegal technological operations. Dan told him that the father and son were currently in the midst of their own battle for leadership of the organization and Haley seemed to be just one of the fallouts from this struggle. Damien had this personal vengeful interest in her, while his father had warned him to drop it. Once loyalties began to shift from David to Damien, which was right around the time when Daunte was caught, Damien ordered the hit on Haley. David had been livid, and for a while, Damien backed down. Now, with Dan's parole denial, Damien seemed to be back, had some power, and was pursing not only his illegal interests, but his personal ones. Dan was certain he still had intent to harm Haley, but not necessarily Nathan. So Dan warned his son to stay away from Haley, for her own protection. He warned Nathan that since he was a public figure, it brought a certain amount of attention to everything he did and that meant he couldn't be with Haley. Then his father abruptly ended their visit.

For a while, Nathan struggled with this. His main goal was Haley's safety and he hated to step back, and run the risk of letting her trust the wrong people. So he decided on a compromise between what his father advised him to do and what he felt was best in his heart. He would keep tabs on Haley, make sure she was safe through his sister and he would keep his distance; at least for a little bit. If Haley reached out to him, well, he couldn't refuse that…and he let his sister know that.

Over time, he changed his mind about keeping his distance. He shirked off what his father said, and became convinced he could protect Haley on his own, even it meant giving up basketball…but the damage was done. Rachel held him to their deal and would only agree to stay as Haley's roommate as long as he stayed away.

Rachel claimed this was all for Haley's best interest. She told him that Haley had no interest in him, that she was too scared. He promised to stay away as long as she let him know if things changed. She had promised to do that. She said she would let him know if Haley wanted to talk to him. After being in Boston for a few months, he began to try and accept the fact that Haley wasn't going to change her mind and he would have no real role in her life. That's when things got dark for him.

Now, with the quote, he was sure Rachel was just lying as usual. Now he was questioning everything about their little deal. That, and he was still extremely pissed about her leaving Haley alone on Christmas.

"How can we find out? Want me to call the paper?" Clay offered.

"No. My sister already chewed me out for bringing media attention to where she works and she's right there. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, Clay. She needs to stay safe—"

"Sommers will keep her safe, Nate. He has all these years, right?"

"I fucking hate that guy."

"So I've heard, but you have to agree that he's done that much for her. He's even kept her name out of the press."

Nathan sighed. That much was true. In fact, the only thing he was going on when it came to Agent Sommers was his instincts. There was no tangible evidence to truly suggest the guy was corrupt.

" Anyway," Clay continued, "how can you find out it was her?"

"Lucas. I'm seeing him when I get back from these road games. We're spending New Year's Eve together."

"Call him before that because if it was her, we need to send her flowers."

"Send the flowers anyway, Clay. Send them to the organization because even if it wasn't Haley, it was someone from there that gave the quote to the paper."

"Got it. So what kind of flowers does 'Boston' like?"

"Lilies. Purple ones. That's her favorite color," Nathan smiled.

"You think it was her?" Clay asked again.

"Yeah, I do," Nathan said brightly. "The words in that quote; they were Haley's words. I just know it, Clay."

"Good. Well, I know you got a game. I'll let you go. I'll see you in Boston in a few weeks. Have a good name, Nate, huh?"

"I will," Nathan said confidently.

Nathan ended the call and pulled out the copy of the newspaper from his locker. He skimmed down to the important part.

_A source at the Boston Coalition for Victims of Domestic Violence said "…we look forward to working with Nathan Scott and his new foundation. Nathan Scott is a talented athlete and compassionate person who has overcome tragedy and violence through his focus and determination. We hope that he can bring that same focus and determination to our efforts to help victims of domestic violence."_

_Focus and determination_. Those were Haley's words; words that she had used in the past to describe him. He remembered them because it was one of a handful of times that she had spouted off her feelings for him without being prodded. She used them on the day he got his offer to play for Duke. That day he had been teaching her how to drive. He laughed to himself as he conjured up the memory. She had been impatient, of course, and pissed at him for pushing her. It was all momentarily forgotten when the call came. He had kissed her, she had jumped and down, he had lifted her up in celebration. Then he made her go back to driving causing her to get pissed again. It was just one of many memories that he had tried to forget about. Now, he wanted to remember them all. It was funny how one little quote could change your whole outlook…How it could give you hope.

* * *

Haley came out from the supply closet with a stack full of copy paper. As soon as she turned the corner, she spotted a man leaving the office and Rachel throwing a bouquet of flowers in the garbage.

Haley dropped her stack by the copy machine and called out to Rachel startling her. "Rachel! I didn't see you come in!" The two girls hugged tightly as soon as they met.

"I just got here!" Rachel said happily. "I saw you weren't home so I decided to come down here and surprise you. You're working late, huh?"

"Yeah. Just trying to catch up while it's quiet around here." Haley looked curiously at Rachel. She knew she was about to hit a nerve, but had to ask. "Rachel, did you hear that your brother was starting a new foundation?"

"That's all a ruse. He's just looking for some good press. I'm sorry to tell you this, but don't expect to get a dime out of it."

"Oh," Haley's heart sank. She felt like a fool for giving that quote to the paper, even if she still meant every word of it. At least he would know she was thinking of him. She had crafted her quote with that intention.

Haley leaned in and picked up the bouquet out of the trash. "Rachel? What are these? Oh my God! Lilies! How could you throw these away?" Haley brought the lilies to her nose and took in their sweet scent. "They're so beautiful…"

"Oh, some guy gave them to me. He actually thinks he has a shot with me," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"What guy? Didn't you just get in?"

"I know, right? He was outside our apartment. I met him at bar once and talked to him for, like, five minutes!"

Haley looked at Rachel in disbelief. "Rachel, these are lilies. It's December. You don't just get these at corner flower market." Rachel looked around the room, as if looking for answers. "Rachel? Where did these come from? This doesn't seem right…"

Haley knew she was probably being paranoid, but couldn't help it. She began to regret giving that quote. It had been a hasty decision and could have jeopardized her safety since her place of work would now come up on a simple internet search of Nathan's name.

"You're right, Haley. Maybe we should contact Derek. Maybe that guy wasn't who I thought he was."

Fear filled Haley and Rachel took her hand and began to comfort her.

"Don't worry, Haley. Really, it's okay. Look let's just go home, okay?"

"Yeah, let's go home. First, let me call Derek."

"No, I'll call him. Just get your coat."

Haley nodded meekly and went and fished out her belongings to go home. When she returned, Rachel was just hanging up her phone.

"Good news! It was that guy from the bar. Derek ran a trace on all lily orders and you were right," Rachel said sheepishly. "They were really expensive. I guess he was really into me. Anyway,…I want to talk to you about New Year's Eve."

Haley was surprised Derek got that information so fast, but then again he was good at his job. She felt relieved as she bundled up to head out. "Well, I actually have some plans, Rach. Lucas and Brooke are in town and Peyton and Jake are flying in. We're going to head out into the city. They have all kinds of festivities and they all want to see First Night. You can come."

"No thanks," Rachel said dryly. "Brooke is a total bitch to me and Peyton's not too far behind."

"Rachel—"

"It's fine, Hales. Look, there is something else I wanted to talk to you about. One of my friends, a musician I met in New York, is playing at the pub down the street. It's early enough that you can make it and still meet up with them later. What do you think? He's really cute, Haley, and he's talented and funny…I think you would really like him."

"I do not want to be set up, Rachel Scott!" Haley cringed at the thought.

"Why not? Isn't it time, Haley? I mean, really?"

Haley thought about this as they locked up the office and headed outside into the cold air. The air felt invigorating for some odd reason. It was if change was in the air. Nathan was coming back into her life, she was sure of it. Even if his foundation was just a ruse, she had sent him a message with that quote. Now, she just needed to get in touch with him. Still, he had a girlfriend; a serious one. It sounded like they might even be engaged. Haley was ready to face him, even fight off that golddigger if she had to. But they had to have that connection; that's what she needed to see for herself. Yet, she was still feeling insecure. She didn't want him to see her like the broken, depressed scared little girl she felt like, not when he would have that chick by his side. Maybe a casual date wouldn't be that bad. It would be like getting her feet wet.

"What's his name?" Haley asked as they began to walk towards the subway stop.

"Chris. Chris Keller."

* * *

Nathan opened the door to his penthouse to find Lucas standing there with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Luke, man! Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to get in touch with you!"

Lucas looked at Nathan carefully and then gave him a hug. Nathan was taken aback by this show of emotion and hesitated before embracing him back. When they broke, Nathan looked at Lucas expectantly.

Lucas sighed happily and smiled. "I'm engaged, man. I finally popped the question and she said yes!"

Nathan couldn't hide his surprise. The surprise was quickly followed by a small sliver of jealous. First, Jake and Peyton, now Lucas and Brooke. Once upon a time, he thought Haley and he would be the first ones married. He quickly recovered and congratulated Lucas with a handshake. "Wow! That's great, Luke. When did this happen?"

"Two days ago. I wanted to tell you in person," Lucas grinned.

"That's why you didn't take any of my calls."

Lucas blushed sheepishly. "Well, kind of. Brooke and I kind of spent some alone time for a while."

Nathan laughed. "Right. Alone time."

"Anyway,….I also wanted to talk to you in person because…I wanted to ask you to be my best man."

Again, Nathan was surprised. "Really? Me, Luke? You're sure?"

"Not if you keep asking like that!" Lucas joked. "But yes,…I'm sure!"

"Wow. Okay. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I'd love to do that," Nathan smiled. "Come on. Let's sit down. Tell me about it."

The guys walked into Nathan's living room and Nathan took a seat on his black leather couch and Lucas sat down on the loveseat.

"Well, I've had the ring for a while now but I wanted to wait to propose here. I actually wanted to do it on Christmas night but that turned into a fiasco because of her mother—"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, Luke. I know you called that night and then I didn't really get to talk to you when you came to my game—"

Lucas looked at Nathan perplexed. "I didn't call you Christmas night, Nate. You said not to. I talked to you right before I went to Haley's and—" Lucas stopped talking, sat back and let out a heavy sigh. "I rushed out of there and left my cell phone behind," Lucas said softly.

"What?" Nathan said pissed off. "You left her on Christmas? What the fuck, Luke? I specifically asked you to go over there—"

"Nathan!" Lucas said sharply and Nathan stopped talking. "I left my phone at Haley's," Lucas said slowly.

Nathan understood. He felt a wave of emotions all at once; confusion,…joy,…happiness,…panic,…fear,…regret. "Fuck!"

"What? Didn't you get that, Nate? It was her! She called you!" Lucas explained triumphantly.

"And that psycho Katie answered my phone." Nathan rested his head in his hands.

"What? Who's Katie?"

"No one," Nathan said, head jerking back up. Lucas looked at Nathan unconvinced. "I swear, Luke. She's no one. I set her straight the other day. Just read about it in the gossip columns."

"What the fuck, Nathan! You mean what they say in those columns are true? The women?" Lucas asked angrily.

"Not all of it," Nathan said quietly but still ashamed.

"But some of it? The women? The drinking?" Lucas stood up and began pacing around the room. "Nathan, we had a deal! You were supposed to cut all that shit out. Do you have any idea why I'm here in Boston right now?"

Nathan stood up as Lucas had struck a nerve with him. "A deal? Let's talk about that deal, Luke! I got clean. I behaved. In L.A., I was model citizen and look where that got me! She up and moved to Boston without getting in touch with me once! So what did I do? This dumb ass turned down a five year deal, got traded to Boston, and for what? All so that I could be ignored in just another city on a different coast! Except this time, it was worse, Luke… It was worse here because she's just so close!" Nathan's voice began to quiver as he glowed at Lucas. "I mean, her work, is like three blocks away and I'm not sure where she lives, but it's gotta be close! She could have hopped on the subway anytime, come to a game, or reached out in some way, met up somewhere, but SHE NEVER DID!" Nathan shouted with complete and utter desperation.

He sat back down and ran his hands through his hair. "I waited, Luke," Nathan said his voice just barely above a whisper. "I did everything everyone told me to do…and none of it worked….So I lost it…I just gave up hope. Things got bad…it even affected my game."

"So it wasn't just your back that gave you problems last season?" Lucas asked seriously.

"Not really. I mean, my back is still giving me problems, it always will, but I can deal with that. The other stuff, I just couldn't deal with…so I slacked a bit, I got benched…But Clay helped me refocus this summer and this season I just tried living the life everyone was telling me I should…The life of a single NBA player. So yeah, I went a little crazy with the partying, but I also got my career back in shape. Doesn't that count for something, Luke? In the end, basketball is the only thing that hasn't let me down."

"So I've let you down then, huh? Is that what you're saying? I guess I should just find a new best man, huh?" Lucas turned to leave, but Nathan grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"No, Luke. That's not what I meant."

Lucas slowly turned back around and the two guys looked at each other in the eye. "Nathan, I never wanted our relationship to be about Haley. I wanted to keep her out of it. I tried so hard to do just that. I'm sorry if you feel like I let you down, but you have to understand that no matter how hard I've tried, I'm still right in the middle."

"I know that. I know I put you there. I just can't help it." Nathan sat back down the couch. "I tried to let go. I just couldn't," he declared with his head down.

Lucas sat back down and sighed. "Okay, here's the thing, Nate. I want you to be my best man, I really do and Brooke is going to ask Haley to be her maid of honor so…"

Nathan's head jerked up. "Really?"

"Yes. Nathan,….She wasn't ready before, when you were in L.A. I know that you probably don't think I was looking out for you, but I was. She had to be ready…and now she is."

"How do you know?" Nathan interrupted him. He was trying his best not get his hopes up. That happened too many times before.

"There are lots of reasons…Last summer she wanted to get in touch with you—"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried! How many times did you hang up the phone on me when I mentioned Haley's name? Ten? Fifteen? Twenty, maybe?"

Nathan looked away guilty. It had hurt too much to hear her name, and he had been feeding into his sister's lies, and trying to get his game back….all poor excuses. "I didn't know…"

"No shit! I swear to God, you two don't have any idea what you've put me through! You are two of the most frustrating people I know….and still completely perfect for each other," Lucas said with a small smile.

Nathan smiled back. "So what now?"

"That's why we came here for the holidays. That's why Jake and Peyton are flying in too. This is going to end once and for all."

"What do you mean?"

"New Year's Eve. We have this crazy plan to force the two of you together—"

"Luke! No! It can't happen like that! I can't see her for the first time at some party or out in the city!"

Lucas threw his hands up in frustration. "Nathan! What the hell are we supposed to do then?"

"Let me go to her. I want to go to her myself. I need to. Let me talk to her privately."

"You shouldn't go to her place, not with Rachel there." Lucas paused and then clearly came up with an idea. "Okay. I got it. On New Year's Eve, before we meet up, she's going to this small pub to hear some guy play,…Chris Keller?"

"Never heard of him."

"Well, that's where she'll be. It's small and quiet. You could easily slip in and go and talk to her."

"I could do that," Nathan said confidently.

"Okay, then," Lucas agreed.

"Thank you, Luke. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I know this has been hard on all of us." Nathan felt his hard starting to race as he truly considered the possibility of coming face to face with Haley the next night. "Luke, are you sure? I mean, I trust you, but are you sure she wants to see me because Rachel—"

"Fucking Rachel!" Lucas exclaimed. "I know she's your sister, Nathan, and my cousin, but don't believe a fucking word that comes out of her mouth. She has been sabotaging everything all these years. The only reason we let it go is because for a long time was because we believed she was helping Haley. I think that was true at first, but now she's just a controlling bitch that is messing with Haley's mind."

"That sounds like Rachel," Nathan said dryly. "The only thing is….I'm partially to blame for that, Luke. I told her to keep Haley away from me and I promised her I would stay away."

"Doesn't matter, Nate," Lucas said with certainty. "It's been over seven years. It's time."

"God, I hope so," Nathan said sincerely. "Luke? She needs to be safe, too."

"You're the safest person she could be with," Lucas told him confidently. "And you both have to stop waiting to live your lives. Like I said…it's time."

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Missing You" (Tyler Hilton)

AN: I know you all really wanted Naley in this chapter. Sorry, sorry, sorry! I had to set up things a bit more. Hopefully you see how I did that? I also wanted to let you know that while I am setting up things for part two of this story, this part will have a clear resolution. The last four chapters are 98% Naley. That way, you can stop reading here if you want, but part two will have some things you have requested…such as Haley dealing with Rachel. I am writing that part now and it is fun! I could say more, but it would give too much away!

I need some time before I post the next chapter. It is pretty heavy and maybe the hardest to write. I got stuck so I went ahead, wrote 52, then went back and finished 51. Crazy, I know. So I plan on posting those two chapters quickly in a row like I did 49 and 50 and some of the others.

Thanks for all the reviews and support! I hope you keep reading. The finish line is in sight!


	52. Chapter 51

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 51: "Missing You" (Tyler Hilton)

Nathan found the pub was just as Lucas described it. It was tucked into a college neighborhood on the corner of some streets, amongst rows of townhouses and a park. He had probably walked by it a thousand times while avoiding taking the subway or while out on walk to clear his head, but never noticed it. Then again, he never looked. Nathan's time spent in Boston was not one where he was trying to make it a home. It wasn't place where he went out with friends and family. Instead, it was just his place of work. When there, he focused on his job and went out to all the places his teammates did.

They went to the big name fancy night clubs, the kind with the regular VIP rooms and the exclusive VIP rooms, and high end restaurants. He also went on lots of public appearances on behalf the team to raise money for various charities. Of all of these things, it was the charity work that Nathan enjoyed the most. It was a time when he got to meet real people dealing with real problems, such as the time the team spent at a children's hospital in the cancer ward. That had really put things into perspective and had been one of things that finally snapped him out of his depression.

Now, as he headed into this small, quiet pub, Nathan found himself wondering how much he had missed out on living the life of a Celtics player. He thought about the kind of life that Haley must have; going out to quiet locales like this one and having a job that actually helped people. The more he thought about it, the more he could see different possibilities for his future. Clay hadn't wasted any time on getting the paperwork going to create his foundation. Nathan was honestly excited about it and that wasn't just because of Haley, although she served as a source of inspiration for him. This foundation was a chance for him to do something good and he was becoming increasingly serious about it. Over the past couple of days, he already brainstormed tons of ideas that he wanted to run by Clay.

Nathan walked right into the pub, which didn't even have a bouncer, another first for him, and headed over to the bar, taking a seat on the far end, hoping to sit back and gather in his surroundings. It only took a few seconds for him to spot her.

Haley was sitting with her back to him at a small table at the front that had only two chairs. It was dark and he couldn't really see her well, but that didn't matter; it was her. She had on black sweater and her hair was hanging down past her shoulders. Even that was enough to give him the chills. It was the closest they had been in years.

The musician, a scrawny guy with spikey hair, Chris Keller he assumed, was perched on stool with only his guitar and microphone, singing an acoustic song. It kind of looked like he was singing right to Haley. This made Nathan a little uneasy, as he fidgeted with his shirt-collar. Who was this guy again? What had Lucas said about him? Just how did he know Haley? Nathan couldn't remember what Lucas said and so he did his best to shake it off.

"What can I get for you?" The bartender asked Nathan.

"Just a coke." There was no way Nathan could drink tonight. In fact, he wasn't sure he could ever drink in Haley's presence again. That was, if he even had that chance.

Nathan kept his eyes fixed on Haley, trying to summon up the courage to go over there. There was a free seat and he was certain that he could just quietly go there and sit down like the chair was meant for him; like she was waiting for him…

Then along came Rachel, out of the woodworks, and plopped herself right in that chair. His heart sank as he realized that he was going to need a new strategy. He wouldn't put it past his sister to bitch him out right then and there and cause a huge scene if he just walked over.

The bartender placed his glass of Coke down in front of him. "Here you go. Anything else?"

"Yeah," Nathan said smiling. "How about a shot of Jack Daniel's? But it's not for me…and you have to make sure you tell the girl it's going to that it's whiskey. Say that. Say those words. This is whiskey."

The bartender looked at Nathan like he was crazy as he flagged over a waitress, but Nathan just took a sip of his Coke and turned back around. She would know it was him. She had to.

* * *

"So what did you think, Haley?" Rachel asked excitedly as she took a seat next to Haley.

"Rachel…He's like right, there. Be quiet!" Haley said embarrassed.

"Um, he's a little busy at the moment, Hales!" Rachel laughed. "Come on! I saw you two chatting it up before his gig started. He's cute, right?"

"In kinda of a goofy way, I guess. We were talking about music, Rach. Generic stuff."

"Whatever. You two are so right for each other, I just know it," Rachel said cockily.

Rachel and Haley ended their conversation as Chris began signing a new song. Haley had to admit there was something about this guy. He was definitely talented and very sure of himself. Haley liked that in a guy. In their conversation earlier, she also found out that they shared similar music tastes, which also excited her. In fact, he had already played a cover of a song they had talked about, which did seem kind of sweet and suggested that he might be into her.

"This is for you, miss," a waitress said popping up alongside Haley. Haley looked down and saw a shot glass. She looked up at the waitress. "I was told to tell you that this was your favorite; whiskey."

Rachel and Haley looked at each other confused. "Since when do you drink whiskey?" Rachel asked.

"I don't," Haley said pushing the glass towards Rachel. "Must have been a mistake."

"Oh, well. My gain!" Rachel downed the shot and pushed the glass away.

As soon as Chris finished, he headed over directly to Haley. He leaned over and whispered in ear.

"Hey, there…What are you drinking?"

"Uh…How about a vodka?" Haley answered as she got the chills. For some reason, she couldn't quite place, she was feeling very odd; like she was being watched.

"Rachel?" Chris asked.

"Same," she answered.

As soon as Chris left to get the drinks, Haley leaned over to Rachel. "Rachel, I feel like someone's watching me. You think I'm paranoid?"

Rachel looked around the room carefully. "You're fine, Hales. Just…just…let's talk about Chris. You like him, huh? I can tell."

Haley shrugged. "He's nice and sweet. I don't know. I'm just not up for anything serious right now, Rachel."

"I don't think he is either. He's just in town for a few days. I mean, it could lead to something more, but what about just having some fun for one night with no worries?"

"I'm not like that, Rachel."

"You could be, Haley. Just for one night…you could just try to you know, have a fling. How do you know it's not for you, unless you try it?"

"Whatever." Although, Rachel hadn't sold her on the idea, Haley had to admit she had a point. If she didn't want a relationship, then what the hell was she supposed to do? She was young. It was New Year's Eve. She was having a good time. She was sure Nathan was somewhere having a good time with that blonde. Maybe this Chris guy was worth a shot.

Still…the fact that she felt like she was being watched, along with that whiskey, was making her uneasy. When she spotted the waitress who brought the drink over, Haley signaled for her to come over.

"What are you doing? Chris is getting us drinks!" Rachel reminded her.

"Shhh…Um, excuse me? Remember that whiskey you brought over? Who was that from?"

"That guy at the end of the bar…" The waitress pointed towards the back of the pub. "You know, the one all the ladies have been drooling over?"

Haley looked over and saw three ladies obstructing her view of the guy. She looked a little harder and saw Chris standing next to them.

Rachel grabbed her arm and turned her back around. "Chris, Haley. It was Chris."

"Oh," Haley said confused. It still didn't make any sense to her. She turned back around, just as Chris was walking over.

"Here you go, ladies." Chris placed three shot glasses of vodka on the table. "I think I'm going to do an encore. One more song and then I'm all yours."

Chris went back to his stool and grabbed his microphone and looked directly at her. "This one is a special dedication going out to you, Hales. Every word."

Haley picked up her shot of vodka and downed it. As soon as the opening chords rang out, she signaled the waitress for another.

* * *

Nathan watched as Haley pushed the shot of whiskey away. That wasn't a good sign. Even worse was when Chris finished his set and made a beeline for Haley, leaned in real close and whispered something in her ear. There was something about that guy made Nathan want to clock him.

Then he was spotted. Rachel made direct eye contact with him and then said something to Haley. Haley shrugged. This was more than he could take.

"I'll take three vodkas please?" A voice beside him asked.

Nathan turned to his left and saw Chris Keller standing there.

"Top of the line?" the bartender asked.

"No. Cheapest stuff you got," Chris answered.

Yep, Nathan couldn't stand this guy who was clearly a cheap prick. Still, maybe he could be useful in some way, especially since he clearly had Haley's attention. "Hey, you looking to make some extra money?"

Chris looked at him skeptically. "I'm not your type."

Nathan didn't get a chance to respond as he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and found three very enthusiastic ladies standing there with pen and paper. It wasn't an entirely unfamiliar sight, but didn't happen often either. The media gave him or attention than the fans. He wasn't the star of the team, like his friend, Tony. He was just a team player who had his good and bad games, although more good than bad this season. Some fans liked him; others still didn't, probably because of last season. More often than not, he found himself giving autographs to females who had no idea about basketball, and just knew who he was. This appeared to be the case with these girls.

"Are you Nathan Scott? Of the Celtics?"

Nathan held out his hand and took the pen from the girls. He took their names, exchanged niceties, and then turned around to find a gawking Chris Keller.

"So,….what exactly did you have in mind?" Chris asked him.

"A song."

"How much?" Chris asked.

"Hundred bucks," Nathan offered pulling out his wallet.

"Oh, come on," Chris scoffed. "If you're who they say you are, you can spare more than that."

"Five hundred."

"Deal."

"With a dedication," Nathan added with a smile.

* * *

Haley felt like she was under a spell as she listened to Chris sing a cover of the song "Missing You." With the song, it was like Chris was reaching into her soul. The words he was singing were so emotionally charged and the way he was looking right at her was unnerving. It was like they had a connection…through this song…through his music. She hadn't felt a connection like that in such a long time. It was more than that though. It was as if there was something in the air, in that pub that was, as the song said, a message in the wire sending her signals. She wasn't sure what those signals were. All she knew was that this song, a song that she hadn't heard in such long time, a song that traditionally made her so sad when she heard it that she shut it off, was so powerfully moving in this moment. So, she sat there memorized, focusing on every word of the song, only pausing to drink.

By the time he was finished, Haley felt numb; numb and vulnerable. During the course of the song she had become so unhinged that she had downed four shots of vodka, including Rachel's and Chris'…And she was under that spell of Chris Keller's. She probably would have done anything he'd asked. So, there really was no hesitation when she answered his question.

Chris sat down next to her and pulled his chair up close to hers. "You, uh, want to get out of here?"

"Uh-huh," Haley nodded meekly.

* * *

Nathan's mind was reeling as he watched Haley leave, arm in arm with that smarmy son of a bitch. On his way out, the guy and looked over and purposely winked at him; add cocky to the list. Devastated, Nathan turned around and order up three shots of J.D.'s. He was on his second when Rachel sat down beside him.

"Let me guess…Lucas sent you here."

"Does it matter, Rachel? How could you let her leave with that asshole? You know he only has one thing on his mind!" Nathan fumed.

"I know. She does too. They're actually seeing each other," Rachel shrugged.

"You expect me to believe a fucking word that comes out of your mouth? Lucas would have told me if she was seeing someone."

"Well, seeing is believing, big brother. I mean, you did just see them leave together, right?"

"Fuck you."

Rachel stood up and looked Nathan in the eye. The brother and sister glared at each other until Rachel finally spoke. "You did this, Nathan. You asked me to always do what was best for her. You know, deep down, that you are not what's best for her. Not now, not ever. And besides that…..We had a deal….I mean, do you really want to endanger her life? Because you know Damien would never let this go. Think about that one will you, you selfish bastard." Rachel then looked pointedly at his empty shot glasses. "See what I mean. Drink up, Nathan."

Rachel spun on her heels and Nathan picked up his last shot and downed it and beckoned for the bartender to give him a refill.

* * *

Haley splashed some cold water on her face in an effort to sober herself up. It helped a little, but ultimately she still emerged from the bathroom feeling lightheaded and queasy.

"You okay? You want something to drink?"

"No…I'm fine," Haley said as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"So, tell me. What was your favorite New Year's Eve? Besides this one, of course," Chris smirked.

Haley closed her eyes as a wave of nostalgia rang throughout her body. She thought of the year that she spent at home with her parents…and Nathan. They had watched a movie and played Uno. So simple, yet it meant so much because it was right around the time her Grams was sick and Nathan had been there for her. That night, everything clicked and felt natural. She wished it could be that way again, but wouldn't let herself go down that route. It wasn't that easy…everything was so complicated.

Then there was the New Year's Eve that Nathan gave her first kiss….That had been a special night as well. She remembered her shock as he leaned in and kissed her, along with the butterflies in her stomach and the love that filled her heart. It didn't come close to anything she felt tonight with Chris. She wondered if she would ever feel that way again.

Chris sat up and reached over and ran his fingers through her hair, taking Haley out of her daze. "Haley,…that was amazing…That connection we had tonight? You felt it, right?"

Haley was having trouble sorting through her emotions at the moment. "That song."

"Yeah. That was pretty cool." Chris got out of bed and began rummaging in the minibar for a drink. "You surprise me, Haley. I never would have pegged you for a vodka girl."

"Well, it's better than whiskey."

Chris held up some nips. "Really? You ever tried it? I like J.D.'s the best, but Jameson isn't that bad either—"

A voice rang out in her head; Nathan's. "_No, Haley, you're the dork in this relationship. I mean, how could you not know that Jack Daniel's is whiskey_!"

Haley froze. She did have whiskey before. Just once…with Lucas, at a party…and Nathan knew that. He had tasted in on her lips and in her mouth. Her heart began beating wildly as she remembered how he had kissed her that night in the middle of the crowded room. She could almost feel the way his tongue had ravaged her mouth as his hands rested on her tattoo. Things had quickly escalated that night as their passionate intensified to the point where they almost made love. It had been one of the most intimate experiences of her life.

Chris was still talking as he began pouring himself a drink. She couldn't hear a word he was saying. She thought back to when the waitress pointed over at the bar. Yes, she was now sure of it. The waitress had not been pointing at Chris. She had been pointing at the guy the three ladies were in front of. They had pads of papers and pens. They were getting autographs; autographs from a guy with a full head of dark hair. His head was bent down signing their papers. How could she have missed that?

"C-Chris? Did you get me a shot of whiskey tonight?"

"No, just the vodka, baby. That's what you said right?"

"Right," Haley said slowly. There was more to this, she just knew it. Haley began piecing things together. That connection she felt. The song. She had been mistaken. _The connection came from the song, not Chris._ "Why did you play that last song for me?" Haley braced herself, already knowing the answer in her heart.

"Get this! Some guy paid me to play that. I think he knew you, too. Celtics player? It was like he was trying to help make this happen!"

Haley flew up and began putting on her shoes. "I made a mistake. This was mistake."

"What? Haley? Hales, don't leave."

Haley grabbed her coat, put it on and turned and faced Chris one last time. "Don't call me Hales."

She was out the door a second later.

* * *

Some people say the circumstances in which you ring in the new year is a sign of what the upcoming year will be like. Haley thought about this as she sat on the floor outside Brooke and Lucas' hotel room, with tears streaming down her face. She wasn't sobbing. She was simply crying. The tears just flowed and flowed endlessly as emptiness and shame consumed her. She wasn't sure how long she sat there. It was long enough to garner a few curious glances and even a couple offers of help from strangers. Luckily, it wasn't long after midnight when Brooke and Lucas came flying around the corner, with Peyton and Jake. They were all laughing loudly until Haley came into their view.

Haley knew how she must look-pathetic. That was how she felt. This time she wasn't even going to hide it. She stood up and straightened out her outfit just before Brooke grabbed her into a bear hug.

"Haley!" Brooke screeched. "What happened?"

Haley decided to wait until they were all inside the hotel room to start talking. They all walked in, took off their winter gear and spread out across the room. Brooke took a seat with her on the couch and began rubbing her back, while Peyton took a seat on the bed and Lucas and Jake leaned against the desk and tv.

"I-I made a mistake," Haley said numbly.

"It's okay, Haley. We all make mistakes," Brooke comforted her.

"Yeah, Hales," Lucas agreed. "You were the one who told me—"

Haley put her hand up for him to stop speaking. "Don't."

The room fell silent and everyone began exchanging nervous glances as Haley looked down at her hands. She was subconsciously running her fingers over her pinky…the spot where the ring used to be. Once she realized what she was doing, Haley snapped herself back to reality. She had a lot time to think when she was waiting for her friends and had been close to coming to a decision. Now, she was sure of it. She hated how she felt and the way everyone was looking at her. She hated the person she had become. She wanted to be a new person and that was just not possible here. She had to get away; far away. She needed a fresh start, a new lease on life because she had blown the one she had.

"I've decided I'm leaving Boston. I'm going to join a program that a girl I know from work is involved in. It helps women in third-world countries become self-sufficient. It teaches them farming skills or some other trade that they can use—"

"Where, Haley?" Jake cut her off as Peyton, Brooke and Lucas were too shocked to speak.

"I'm not sure where they'll place me. Maybe Ghana or Nigeria—"

"I'm going to kill him!" Lucas blurted out as he began pacing around the room.

"For how long, Haley?" Peyton asked.

"There are different lengths. You could do a month or a year—"

Lucas stopped his pacing and looked incredulously at Haley. "A year?"

"Maybe. I don't know. The girl from work is doing six months. She leaves in two weeks—"

"You are not leaving two weeks, Haley?" Peyton asked frantically.

"Well, it would be easier it I went with someone I knew," Haley shrugged. "But that's probably too soon. I bet Derek could pull some strings though."

"Haley, what happened tonight? Tell us what's going on with you," Brooke said putting her hand over Haley's forcing her to stop fidgeting.

"Yeah, Haley. What the fuck did my cousin do to you?" Lucas asked angrily.

"He-He didn't do anything, Luke," Haley answered hesitantly.

"You were with him, right? That's why you didn't meet up with us?" Brooke asked seriously.

"No," Haley admitted as she looked down again as she thought of where she had really been, who she had really been with. Now, the tears came back.

"We just assumed that's what happened. We thought you two were together," Brooke said slowly.

"No. I didn't even know he was there until it was too late," Haley wiped away at her tears, but they were just coming down so fast. Brooke put her arm around her and pulled her towards her.

"What happened, Haley?" Brooke asked again.

"I didn't know he was there. I was with Rachel—"

"Fucking bitch!" Peyton spat out. "I knew she would screw everything up!"

"—We were watching one of her friends play there and I…I just got confused. I was drinking…He played this song…and I got emotional…and then…" Haley closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I left with him."

"What?" Lucas asked unable to hide his surprise. "Where did you go?"

"Back to his hotel room," Haley said ashamed.

"Oh, Haley," Brooke said sympathetically. "It's okay. Like you said, it was a mistake. The important thing is that you're here now—"

"And you're not going anywhere," Lucas added sternly. "That includes out of the country!"

Haley stopped crying and looked up seriously at Lucas. "Luke, I can't stay. I have to go. I just need to get away. I've made such a mess of my life. I'm not happy, Luke. I'm just so miserable."

Lucas walked over to the desk and grabbed his coat. "I'm going to get him," Lucas announced as he put on his hat and gloves.

"No, Luke, don't!" Haley pleaded.

"Who's coming?" Lucas ignored her looking around.

"I will," Peyton said quickly.

"You want me to go too?" Jake asked.

"No," Lucas said quickly. "Stay here and don't let her leave. We're finishing this tonight!"

* * *

"Nathan! Open up! We know you're in there! Nathan! If you don't open up, I'll use my key!"

Nathan staggered his way to the door, if only to get the pounding and shouting to stop. He opened the door and smiled wide at Lucas and Peyton.

"Hey! Luke, buddy! Happy New Year! Come on in, why don't you? Oh, am I happy to see you, let me tell you!"

Lucas and Peyton took one look at a plastered Nathan and simultaneously muttered, "Fuck."

Nathan held the door open and gestured broadly for them to come in. "Hey, Peyton! Nice to see you too! Where's the rest of the gang?"

Nathan plopped himself down in the middle of his couch with his arms spread out along the top. Lucas and Peyton just stood unsure of what to do. Nathan quickly grew impatient with the two of them standing there watching him and his mood quickly shifted. "So what's up, guys?" He said dryly. "You here to console me? Well, you don't have to worry about that. One more drink and I'll be done for the evening."

He grabbed his bottle of scotch from the coffee table and prepared to take a long drink but Lucas was too quick from him. Lucas reached over and harshly grabbed the bottle just before it reached his lips.

"You done for the night now, Nate," Lucas said sharply as he took a few steps back.

Nathan sprung up and went over and stood toe-to-toe with Lucas. "Oh, really?"

"Really," Lucas stared him down.

Nathan's eyes flushed with anger as he slowly raised his finger and pointed at Lucas. "You come here, to my home, and think you can tell me when I'm done?" Nathan hissed. "DO YOU?" Nathan shouted so loud it forced Lucas to take another step back.

"Nathan…" Peyton tried to intervene.

"This is none of your business, Peyton," Nathan quickly shot back. "This is between my cousin and me."

"Nathan,…I was just trying to help," Lucas explained.

"TRYING TO HELP?" Nathan finally stepped away from Lucas and sat back down on the couch. His anger began to fade as the emotional whirlwind he was on started back up. "Why, Lucas? Why would you do that to me? I don't understand," Nathan said desperately.

Peyton gently took a seat next to Nathan. "She didn't know you were there."

"She was there with some guy—that guy, Lucas! You knew his name! You knew she was seeing him!"

"No, Nate…" Lucas shook his head. "You got it all wrong. I know how it looked, but—"

"Okay," Nathan said curtly. "Let me tell you how it looked. It looked to me like she was leaving with that asshole to go to his hotel room."

Peyton and Lucas' silence spoke volumes.

"That's what I thought." A bout of nausea hit Nathan suddenly, forcing him to lean back against the couch.

"She's in my hotel room right now, Nathan!" Lucas yelled, startling him. "Okay? She's just across the city and God, dammit! Why the hell did you have to get so trashed? We wanted to take you over there—"

"She doesn't want to see me, Luke."

"Yes, she does," Lucas said with conviction.

"She does," Peyton confirmed.

"You guys need to stop fucking with me, here. I can't take it anymore! It felt like my heart was ripped out tonight. I never want to feel that again."

"Let us tell you why we know," Peyton said.

Nathan sat up and saw Peyton and Lucas share a smile.

Peyton spoke first. "Because when I call her, I can always tell if the Celtics are playing because she never pays me any attention."

Lucas chuckled and nodded. "It was the same with Lakers….And because Brooke saw that she has a picture of you on her nightstand."

"She does?"

"She never got her license," Peyton continued. "She didn't want anyone but you teaching her to drive."

"No!" He gasped. Knots were forming in Nathan's stomach as he thought about this. "She never got it?"

"She asked me to be there for you, Nate. She asked me to be there for you instead of her," Lucas said. "She was willing to end our friendship for you."

"What?" Nathan asked in disbelief.

Peyton took her turn. "She stopped talking to me about you, as soon as I told her you were at my wedding. That's when I lost her. I think it was because she finally told me that you asked her to marry her."

"Oh, fuck," Nathan muttered as that memory came back to him.

"She told me she said yes, Nathan," Peyton added.

"She didn't mean it!"

"Yes, she did, Nathan. That's why she shut me out. If she didn't mean it, she never would have done that. I think it was just too painful for her to think about it and she couldn't face me anymore."

Nathan's heart began racing. He tried not to let himself think about this. It was all just too hard.

"Deep down," Lucas continued, "she's still angry with you for leaving her in the hospital. She never let go of that."

"Enough!" Nathan exclaimed putting his hands over his ears.

"Because deep down, I think she believes that you don't want to be with her and it's destroying her," Lucas finished.

"Don't tell me that!" He didn't want to think about Haley being destroyed and certainly not because of him. Even worse was the idea that she thought he didn't want to be with her. Didn't she see all the signals he was sending her? "How can she think that?"

"Because you two never talked, Nathan; when she was in the hospital, even when she came to see you—"

Nathan's head jerked up. "She never came to see me."

"Yes, she did," Peyton said softly. "I don't know what your family told you, but she was there. Right, Luke?"

Nathan looked at Lucas with wide-eyes.

"Uh…Yeah," Lucas said with guilt written all over his face. "She was. It was a real bad scene, Nate, just before you woke up and then she wouldn't come back. We tried so hard, but she's just so damn stubborn-_just like someone else I know_," Lucas sighed in frustration as he looked at Nathan pointedly. "So, we just decided not to tell you. We thought it would be easier that way. Then, she made me promise not to. I'm so sorry. That was wrong—"

"She was there," Nathan said quietly. That was all that mattered.

"We know she wants to talk to you, because right now she's sitting in my hotel room crying because she thinks she made mistake tonight leaving with that guy," Lucas said. "Now, she doesn't even think she you would want her."

"I don't care about that guy!"

"She's so scared that she's getting ready to run away again," Peyton said.

"What?" Despite the sickening feeling in his stomach and his heavy eyelids, this definitely had his attention.

"She's talking about leaving," Peyton clarified.

"In a few days," Lucas said as he snuck Peyton a sly smile.

"On a mission trip," Peyton jumped in. "It sounded like it could be a cult."

"For five years," Lucas continued. "Sometimes, those people never come back. They just disappear…."

"In the jungles of the Congo," Peyton finished.

"She can't!" Nathan yelled.

"That's what we said," Lucas said sadly.

"Look, Nathan," Peyton said reaching over and taking Nathan's hand. "I know you're drunk, honey, and might not remember all of this, but I need you to listen to me. I need you remember this…Haley once told me that you are the only person who doesn't let her hide. We need you to get through to her. She needs you. _We need you to fight for her_."

Nathan stood up, but staggered. "Let's go. Take me to her. I need to talk to her."

"Not tonight," Lucas said resignedly.

Things began to become very hazy to Nathan as his last round of alcohol set in. He realized that no matter how much he wanted to, he was in no shape to move very far. He sat back down on the couch and laid back. His eyelids were heavy and without realizing it he closed them. He could hear Peyton and Lucas talking, but couldn't make out everything they were saying.

"He's flying out tomorrow? Shit! What's the rest of his schedule like?"

"On the road for the next week and a half. We'll just have to work with that. This can't wait. Look…He does have a day off before and after the Chicago game."

"That's where my publisher is…I might have some contacts there…I don't want him to know though that I'm behind this. If he knows something is up, then he'll just fuck it up again."

"What about his agent? Clay? Think he could help?"

"He's a good guy. I have his number. I'll give him a call in the morning."

"What do we do about Haley?"

Nathan fought off sleep as long as he could, struggling to hear the conversation going on around him. He knew it was in important one; one about Haley…and him. He wanted to hear it. He wanted to be part of it, but he couldn't. He could not focus at all. He just hoped that he could trust his friends to figure it all out for him because he was more confused than ever.

* * *

Haley was beyond mortified at her situation. Not only had she thrown up multiple times, but now she was about to crash on Brooke and Lucas' bed, while Nathan was probably on his way over. She was riddled with anxiety and fear which was probably the one thing keeping her awake.

"You okay, Haley?" Brooke asked concerned.

"You have any Tylenol?" she croaked out.

"Yes, I just have to find it." Brooke headed into the bathroom to fish her bottle out of one of her bags.

Jake took a seat on the side of the bed and handed Haley a glass of water. "Here. You should drink this."

Haley sat up and gratefully took the glass and took a drink. "Thanks, Jake."

"Haley, Nathan is not going to care about that guy," Jake said seriously.

"I bet not. I know he's already got a girl. You can tell me, Jake. Is he engaged?"

Jake laughed. "No. Are you kidding me? He's not seeing anyone. He's never even dated anyone. Haley, I know Peyton told you that Nathan was at our wedding, but I don't think she told you everything. You know it was Nathan who convinced me that I should marry Peyton right away. At first we were planning on having a long engagement. I was thinking we would wait until Peyton graduated from college, but Nathan wouldn't have that. It was then that I realized that he was still desperately in love with you; that he probably always would be. And then, he confirmed that. Peyton wasn't there for this part, but he told me that you were the one for him. He honestly believed that if you two got married back then, you would still be together and he convinced me that if I loved Peyton, it was stupid to wait. He told me I had to trust my heart. He said that you were the one he was supposed to marry and if he couldn't have you, then he didn't want anyone and I believed him. He had that look in his eyes…he was just so lost…and I still see that. It's the same look I see in your eyes."

"Jake, what are you saying? Are you saying that you think he still wants to marry me, because that's crazy! I've talked to him once in seven years—"

"I think he would," Jake cut her off. "He's that sure, Haley. You know Nathan. He hasn't changed that much. When he sets his mind to something—that's it! But what about you? What do you feel in your heart? Put aside everything else and just think about him. Do you have that same feeling in your heart that he does?"

That feeling was in Haley's heart. The problem was that it had been suppressed for so long. It had been bubbling to the surface over the past year and even more so the past week. "I'm scared, Jake," Haley admitted as she debated just letting her feelings go.

Brooke returned clutching the Tylenol for Haley in one hand and her phone in the other. She gave Haley the pills and waited until she swallowed them to speak. "He's not coming," she softly announced.

Haley felt her heart drop and then break into a million pieces. Both Brooke and Jake saw this from the anguish on her face. There was no going back now. Her true feelings were front and center.

Jake stood up anxiously. "What do you mean?"

"He's drunk and passed out. Lucas is staying there for the night. He wants you to come and get Peyton."

Jake shook his head disappointedly at Brooke and then headed out.

Brooke crawled up on the bed beside Haley and snuggled up next to her.

"I heard you tell Jake you were scared. What are you scared of, Haley? Is it Damien?"

"A little. I mean, I feel safe right now. I can go to work and to the store and although I'm always looking over my shoulder, I don't worry too much. But that's it, Brooke. That's my life. There's not much else to it. I don't really go out. Rachel's in and out all the time, which is fine because I really want to depend that much on her. She's been so good to me."

"Yeah, good to you," Brooke rolled her eyes. "I disagree with you there. She tries to control you. She always has and she'll do anything to keep you away from Nathan. That's just not right, Haley."

"I think she's just trying to protect me," Haley said defensively. "She's worried that Nathan will somehow tip Damien off that I'm here."

"Are you worried about that, too?"

"I don't know. I trust Nathan, but I don't like the fact that he won't work with Derek."

"He doesn't trust him," Brooke explained. "He would rather have bodyguards, not that he does. I'm not going to lie; he's a little reckless, Haley, and that worries us a little. He's serious when it comes to you though. He would hire you a dozen bodyguards in a flash if you wanted them."

"I don't want to live life like that, Brooke. That's the one thing I have going for me right now. It's just a small amount of freedom, but it's mine. I really wish he would just trust Derek."

"He would for you. If you asked, he would. He would do anything for you, Haley," Brooke looked directly at Haley, "including staying away."

"Are you saying he's staying away because he thinks that what I want? He's the one who pushed me away, Brooke! He ran off to college-"

"At first, he did. Only after your dad freaked out on him in the hospital—"

"He never came and saw me. I asked for him all the time! You know that, Brooke. You were there."

"He did come, at least twice, but it was while you were in that coma. Your dad wouldn't let him see you and then your mom snuck him in, they had this huge fight—"

"That wasn't real," Haley said in denial as the image of Nathan in Lucas' sweatshirt flashed before her eyes.

"It was. Your dad made him leave. Then, yes, he never came back, but not because he didn't want to."

"Rachel told me he never came to see me," Haley said quietly.

"I'm not surprised. You need to talk to him and sort this all out. I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from!"

Haley's mind was spinning. This was all so much to sort out and she wasn't in the right frame of mind to do so. All she could do for the moment was be grateful that she had friends that were there to support her. It had been so long since everyone had been together at the same time. She couldn't help but wonder if it could be like that again; unless she messed that up. At the back of her mind she was still partially convinced she had blown it. What would have happened if she had seen Nathan at that pub? If they had talked? Maybe the six of them would be together right now, just like old times.

Haley reached over and squeezed Brooke's hand in a show of gratitude. That's when she felt it. As woozy as she was, there was no mistaking the rock sitting on Brooke's left hand. Haley shifted up and picked up Brooke's hand to get a closer look.

Haley looked at Brooke with her mouth dropped open. Brooke was beaming.

"Brooke!" Haley squealed. "When were you going to tell me?"

"Tonight! It just happened here in Boston! Lucas was actually romantic for once and all on his own! He took me out in one of those horse and buggy carriages and it was so pretty with the snow and all the Christmas lights! Oh my God! I'm getting married! I just love saying that!"

Haley and Brooke embraced giddily. "I'm so happy for you, Brooke!"

Brooke wiped away the wetness at the corner of her eyes and looked seriously at Haley. "Haley, I have you to thank for this. You helped Lucas and me when things were bad. You made us realize that we needed to fight for what we had and not to give up just because we were having problems."

"That's silly, Brooke," Haley said dismissively. "You and Lucas worked things out fine on your own."

"With a little help from one of our best friends," Brooke said suggestively, as she raised her eyebrow. "Here's what I'm wondering, Haley. Will you let us pay you back? Will you let us help you?"

"With Nathan?"

"Yes. You're going to have to see him soon anyway…especially if, " Brooke smiled exuberantly, "…you'll be my maid of honor?"

Haley was both touched and surprised. "Me? Not Peyton?"

"Peyton will be my matron of honor."

"Okay…Okay! Yes!" Haley hugged Brooke again and then took another minute to admire her engagement ring. "Wow!"

"He did good!" Brooke bragged. "There is one more thing, Haley, but just remember that you already agreed to be my maid of honor."

"Nathan," Haley guessed. Of course he would be at the wedding.

"He's Lucas' best man….and we already set a date. We want a quick wedding, but nothing like Peyton and Jake's. It'll be tough, but I want Valentine's Day!"

"Wow! That fast?"

"We don't want to wait long and I have the time now. Once my spring line comes out, I'll have to design my summer one. Right now is my only down time to plan a wedding, so we are just going with it! Plus, Nathan has a game in New York the day before! It's like it was meant to be!" Brooke looked at Haley carefully. "So are you okay with this? With seeing Nathan?"

"Yeah…I will be. I have time to prepare. I guess I'll hold off on my big trip, huh?"

"You weren't serious about that, were you?" Brooke questioned her.

"Yes. It wasn't a totally new idea, Brooke. I've even mentioned it to Derek before. I've been unhappy for a long time."

"I kind of thought that, but without seeing you, I wasn't sure. You are so good at putting on show, Haley."

"I know," Haley admitted. "Brooke,…you really think Nathan wants something with me? After all this time?"

"No doubt, but I mean, he is Nathan. I wouldn't be surprised if he has his wall up at first. He might even push you away. But remember what I said, Haley. Remember what you told me—_fight for him_. Those Scott boys need to be pushed sometimes!"

Haley wasn't sure she could do that. It was one thing to dish out that advice to one of your closest friends and another to take it yourself. She didn't feel like a fighter these days and didn't have the heart to tell Brooke that.

Her doubts must have been transparent because it was as if Brooke read her mind. "Tutor Girl—Stop being so stubborn! You're your own worst enemy, sometimes, you know that! I promise you that once Nathan and you are in the same room together—and alone—you'll figure it all out. But you have both have to come out from that shell you've been hiding under!...Just think about it, okay? Because you two are going to come face to face soon. We wanted it to happen tonight, but…it'll happen. We'll make it happen."

"Sounds like I don't have a choice, huh?"

"Nope." Brooke and Haley laid in silence for a few minutes as both went deep into thought. Haley was trying to wrap her head around the idea of seeing Nathan in her near future, while Brooke clearly had other thoughts on her mind. "Just think, Haley! Next New Year's I'll be Mrs. Scott!"

Haley felt a stab in her heart. _Mrs. Scott._ It was title she had once thought she would have. Nathan was right….about everything, including what he told Jake.

In that moment, Haley decided to listen to her friends,…these friends anyway, which mean not listening to Rachel… The truth was, in her heart, she wanted to be with Nathan, no matter what the costs were. All it would take was one look in his eyes, and she would know. If he felt the same…then, she was going to fight for him. They could work everything out…they would. And even if he tried pushing her away as Brooke suggested, _she was not going to let him go_. At this point, she knew that she had nothing left to lose and everything to gain.

* * *

Haley picked up her bag and slugged it over her shoulder. She still had no idea how she had been talked into this. After working through the holidays, it was her vacation week and Brooke had generously offered to fund this venture through a donation from Clothes Over Bros. Sure, Brooke had made it sound glamorous and exciting, but now, as she was about to board the plane, she found herself nervous. She hated traveling alone, but it was just such a great opportunity for her job to network in a city with similar issues, so she hadn't been able to turn it down.

Apparently, this other organization, which also focused on helping women but in a broader context, was getting a grant and was looking for ideas how to best utilize it. Her Boston organization was in the same position. Despite what Rachel told her, Nathan's foundation had confirmed they were planning on making a donation, and now her group and the one she was scheduled to spend a week visiting, were going to try and learn from each other. Brooke had arranged the whole thing. This all sounded good in theory, but a week alone in a city she had never been to was a little unnerving. Well, it was too late now. It was just about time for the final boarding call.

"Attention all passengers: This is the final boarding call for flight 892, nonstop service to Chicago. All passengers please report to the departure gate immediately."

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Broken" (Lifehouse)

AN: So the next chapter is the Naley reunion! It's all Naley from here on out! Hope you're not too upset about the Chris Keller thing. I can't stress how nervous I am posting this! It had to happen and more will be revealed about that later. For now, I hope you see that Haley had to feel that emptiness and bottom out so she is ready to fight for Nathan. Her friends needed to see just how much she had been hiding from them too so it would motivate them a little more. It was an essential plot point in many ways. If you read part two, you will see Nathan dealing with Chris, just as Haley deals with Rachel! As of right now, the title of that chapter is "Revenge."

Sorry this took so long to post. I wanted to post the next chapter super quick, but I am getting sick and instead of spending my one hour a night on this story, I have been going to bed early! I will get it up as soon as I can!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	53. Chapter 52

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 52: "Broken" (Lifehouse)

As Nathan got out of the cab, he began to understand the reason why Chicago was nicknamed "The Windy City." A huge gust of wind had greeted him when he tried to shut the cab door and was currently threatening him as he made his way to his destination. To make matters worse, it was a cold gust, which also reminded him of what meteorologists were talking bout with the "wind chill factor." And he thought Boston winters were tough!

Not wanting to fight the wind and another set of doors at the same time, Nathan took a minute to fish a piece of paper out of his pocket. He read Clay's handwriting and double-checked the nameplate on the door. _Chicago Women's Support Coalition_. Yes, he was in the right place.

When the gust of wind passed, he shoved the paper back inside his pocket and headed inside. He checked the listings of office locations and went and found the elevator. Once inside, he pushed the button for the twelfth floor. Once the elevator was moving, Nathan tried to shake off his nerves. He still didn't really have a clue what he was doing there. Clay had insisted that he fly out to Chicago right after their morning practice in Philadelphia, which was earlier than the rest of the team. His teammates were probably at their hotels taking naps and relaxing before their flight that evening. Yet, here he was by himself, heading to visit a non-profit organization that he knew nothing about. Sure, he was starting up a foundation that would focus on supporting groups like this, but he was not interested in working with them. His interests lied solely in Boston….His interests lied in working with Haley…

Somehow, Clay had sold him on the idea of visiting this center while he was here. He claimed that it could help give him some ideas for what he wanted to do with his foundation. He also claimed it might not be a bad idea to financially support places other than the Haley worked at. That way, maybe the Wests would be so suspicious. It was this that finally convinced him to stop by this place. Still, wouldn't it make more sense to donate money to similar groups in Boston? Nathan wished he thought of that point earlier. At the time, he had just wanted to shut Clay up. That guy was really good at his job. If nothing else, he probably got people to agree to his negotiations out of sheer annoyance.

Nathan got off the elevator and quickly found the office he was looking for. He headed inside and was greeted by a very excited young lady dressed in a revealing outfit that did not seem to match the cold weather outside. She quickly came out from her desk and shook his hand.

"I'm Lucy! Are you here as a possible philanthropic investor?"

"Yeah, I guess," Nathan said hesitantly. He wasn't sure exactly what Clay had told them. All he knew was that he was supposed to come by and take a tour of the place.

"Let me take your coat," Lucy offered. Nathan took off his coat and handed it to Lucy. "So I don't think we actually got your name over the phone."

"Right. Actually, that's because it was one of my friends that set this up."

"Mr. Scott, right?" Lucy asked him as she hung his coat on the coat rack.

Nathan was confused. So she had his name? She must have wanted his first name then. That was a little on the unprofessional side but this girl did look pretty young. Since it was clear this girl did not recognize him, Nathan was reluctant to give her his first name. If she was a basketball fan, she might recognize the name and so might any other people he met there. He wanted to keep a visit in such a private place like this as low-key as possible.

"Ethan," he said using the first name that came to mind. It was close enough anyway.

Lucy went back over to her desk and grabbed some file folders.

"Okay…So, I thought maybe first I could give you a tour and then we could sit down and have a private chat. I can tell you more about what we do here and you can ask me any questions you have. That sound okay?"

"Sure."

Lucy looked over at him and smiled sweetly. Shit. This girl was into him, he could tell. This was not good. It was the last thing he needed. He immediately wanted to get out of this place. If he had it his way, he would just cut her a check right then and there so he could leave.

They headed down a hallway and stopped outside a door. Lucy opened the door and waited for him to go inside. Nathan peeked in and saw it was an extremely small room with a long table and some chairs. That room was way too small for him to head into with this chick. He stepped back, indicating there was no need to go in.

Lucy looked disappointed. Clearly, she had hoped to be in this small private room with him. "Well, that's our conference room. I guess we don't have to go in right now. We can end there though after the tour-you know, so we can have a quiet place to talk," Lucy said innocently. "Anyway, if our organization were to get a sizable donation, we would like to hire a part-time counselor to work with the women who seek us out. We would probably convert that room into an office for them."

"That sounds like a good plan." Nathan had to admit he had never even thought about something like that. His thoughts automatically went to Haley's organization. "Do other organizations have a counselor on staff?"

"Funny, you should ask." Lucy stopped outside a door that had a window in it. Nathan could see this room was much larger. Lucy opened the door, and this time Nathan stepped inside. He still didn't like how Lucy was looking at him like he was some piece of eye candy, but he was becoming interested in this place and the information she had for him. "We actually just began networking with another group from another major city. It turns out they have some therapists that do volunteer work there. We may pursue that avenue as well, but then you are always dependent on their schedules. In the end, I still think our goal will be to at least hire someone part-time."

Nathan nodded as he looked around the room. It kind of looked like a classroom. It had rows of chairs, long tables to the side, and a projector and large screen at the front of the room. "This is our meeting room. Here we have guest speakers, workshops, and gatherings," Lucy explained.

"What kinds of things do you have workshops on?" Nathan asked curiously.

"Oh!" Lucy exclaimed as she jetted over to a door off to the right of the room. "We actually have one going on right now! It's on building a résumé. We started here in this room and then moved next door into computer room. This is actually a wonderful example of how our organization," Lucy held the door open and Nathan stepped inside, "is utilizing money from a federal grant. We purchased all these computers…"

Lucy kept talking, but Nathan was no longer listening. His eyes were fixed on the short brunette with curly hair, dressed in a pinstriped skirt and blouse, hunched down talking to a woman working on the computer. From behind, it looked like Haley, but it couldn't be. That made no sense. He had seen her a couple of days ago and she had a completely different hairstyle…plus he was in Chicago! Nathan sighed and figured he must be losing it.

"…So one of the other things we would like to do is to bring in some more professionals to help our women with programs like this."

"Is that what she is?" Nathan whispered as he pointed to the professional-looking brunette.

"Oh, no. We got lucky with Leigh. She's actually just here volunteering for the week, but she's real steal, let me tell you! She's dug right in and been working with these women. She actually works at a place in Boston…"

Nathan's heart skipped a beat. Again, he missed some of what Lucy was saying as kept his eyes glued to this "Leigh." A small strip of skin was peeking out in between her blouse and skirt. It the middle of, it looked like there was an area of blue flesh…like a tattoo. His heart began to beat faster.

"…We would love to have the funds to hire workers like her. She does get paid at her job, you see. Here, we rely mostly on volunteers here, like me. I'm a volunteer, but I would love a job like this. I'm actually in my last year of college—"

"I want to meet her," Nathan cut her off once his heart calmed down.

Lucy looked slightly disappointed.

Nathan stayed back as Lucy walked over.

Haley felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked back a little and saw it was Lucy. Lucy was nice enough, but definitely on the annoying side. She was one of the people that just loved to chat, to the point where it interfered with whatever you were working on. Still, she was a volunteer and one thing Haley knew was that beggars can't be choosers. In this line of work, you had to take what you could get, even if it mean dealing with people who were just volunteering so they had something to put on their résumé.

"Yes?" Haley asked turning her attention back to the computer screen. She had been working with this woman, Erin, all morning and they were just about finished with creating a respectable résumé. This was no easy task since at first Erin had insisted that she had no skills to put on such a résumé. It was clear that this mother of four had low self-esteem mostly likely stemming from a series of abusive relationships with the fathers of her children. It had taken Haley a while to convince this mother that even though she hadn't held many jobs over the years, she had many skills that could be noted on a résumé that came from being the primary caretaker of four children. They had just finally been making headway, so this interruption was particularly frustrating.

"We have a possible philanthropic donor in for a meeting and he wants to meet you," Lucy whispered.

Haley sighed heavily as she reached over to the mouse and scrolled down the computer screen.

"Mmm-hm," Erin said as she looked behind her. "He's yummy. I can go talk to him if you want!"

"No, no. He asked for Leigh. Think you can help us, Leigh? Maybe put in a good word about how it would be nice to have some employees on payroll? Or you could just put in a good word for me, huh?" Lucy asked hopefully with a slight nudge and wink.

Wow! Lucy was pretty ballsy. "Give me a second. I just want to read over what Erin has."

Haley looked up as Erin playfully slapped her shoulder.

"If you go over there and talk to that guy drooling over you, then maybe I could get some more work done!" Erin said sharply.

Haley rolled her eyes at Erin and pulled her hand away from the mouse. She stood up and smoothed out her outfit. She slowly turned around and immediately froze. Nathan's blazing blue eyes were staring right into hers.

"Nathan," Haley whispered.

"Actually, his name is Ethan," Lucy corrected her.

Haley couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She began to move towards him, prompting him to move as well.

They met in the middle of the room.

Haley was still smiling as Nathan studied her intently. Haley only hesitated a moment before reaching up and putting her arms around his shoulders. She put her head to his chest and hugged him tight.

At first Nathan didn't know what to do. He was overcome with emotion as he felt Haley pressed up against his body. Very slowly, he moved his hands to her back and squeezed her tight. He closed his eyes and took everything in. He rubbed her back, inhaled her scent and then opened his eyes and to make sure it was all real, because honestly, it felt like a dream.

Haley hugged him as tight as she could. She wanted to just stay that way, especially when she felt him returning her hug. She nestled her face more into his chest and squeezed him again, all the while fighting back tears.

"Haley," Nathan said getting her attention. Haley kept her arms around him and looked up. Nathan reached up and stroked her cheek. Haley felt her heart melting with that single touch.

It was Lucy who broke their trance. "It's Leigh, actually."

Nathan and Haley looked over and found a sour Lucy glaring at them, along with all the other women in the room gawking. They broke apart and shared a quiet laugh.

"Do you two know each other or something?" Lucy asked crossly.

Haley absent-mindedly leaned in close to Nathan and put one hand around his back and the other hand on his chest. "You could say that," she smiled brightly.

Nathan proudly put his arm around Haley's shoulders as they faced their audience. He could not get over how natural this felt. He had felt the same way at that Duke game, but because they hadn't really seriously talked, it had created serious problems. Nathan wasn't going to let that happen again. He wanted to rectify that as quickly as possible. "You want to go somewhere and talk?"

"Yes. Right now." Haley broke away from Nathan and grabbed his hand. As she led him out of the room, she was surprised at quickly she had regained her comfort level with him. She wasn't afraid to touch him and wasn't nervous at all. Instead she found everything about him to be inviting. She wanted to crawl back into his arms and just stay there as long as she could. As she led him towards the conference room, she found herself excited and confident. She had her answer to that question that been lingering at the back of her mind—they still had that magical connection. Now that she knew that, there was no way she was letting him go.

Nathan was still smiling as Haley opened the door and practically shoved him inside that tiny conference room. He leaned with his back against the table and grinned at her amused.

"What?" Haley asked self-consciously as she felt her cheeks heating up. Haley leaned up against the door, unsure of where else she could go. Nathan hadn't moved very far from the door and was standing just a few feet away with that smirk across his face and it did not appear as if he was going to sit down.

As soon as Haley started to blush, Nathan felt those familiar urges returning to his body. For a brief second, he contemplated taking just a few steps and kissing her passionately. Then he reminded himself that the reason why they were there in that room was to talk. "Uh, that girl kind of scared me a little bit. She tried to get me to go into this room with her alone."

Haley laughed. "Lucy? Well, don't flatter yourself. You're the third guy she's hit on in two days and that includes the vending machine guy."

"Gee, thanks, Hales," Nathan said sarcastically. "And I thought it may have been because of my stunning good looks."

Haley took this opportunity to look him up and down. From what she could see he was extremely muscular and fit and looked even better than he did on tv. More than that, he was handsome and mature. Yes, the guy standing before her was a highly attractive _man_, as opposed to the hot college guy she had talked to. "You do look good," Haley quietly admitted.

Nathan eyes widened with that comment. He had noticed her checking him out, but never expected her to say anything. "Are you flirting with me?" Nathan couldn't resist teasing her.

"Would that be a bad thing?" Haley challenged him.

Nathan was caught off-guard with that response. All of sudden he found himself getting nervous as a thick cloud of sexual tension filled the small room. Things were progressing so fast with them…too fast.

Haley sensed Nathan's nerves and realized she was losing him. She could almost see him starting to put that wall back up. She had to act quickly and slow things back down. "But I mean, seriously, Nathan…you need to a haircut…And all black?" Haley eyed his black dress pants and black collared shirt. "Did you think you were going to a funeral?"

Nathan cocked his head at her and half-smiled. "So you're giving me clothing advice now?"

"Well, if you're asking, I think blue will always be my favorite color on you with red as close second." Haley immediately cursed herself as the words slipped out of her mouth. She did it again! Haley tried quickly to recover before Nathan tensed up again. "I mean, if you are looking for points with the ladies, that is, go with blue."

"Your hair…" Nathan blurted out as he watched Haley fidget.

Haley ran her hand through her soft short curls. "I just did before I came here. Actually, it was all Brooke's idea. "

"You're beautiful," Nathan said eyeing her intently. Once again, Nathan felt himself getting lost in his emotions and tried to get a grip. "Brown is good on you…I mean, God, you've had so many hair colors over the years, that I forget what your real color is…but this…I like it, Hales."

"Thanks." Haley could see that Nathan was all over the place and decided that it was time to sit down and talk. They could do this all day otherwise. She stepped aside and took a seat at the end of the table. Nathan took the seat on the adjoining corner seat. "So what are you doing here?"

"My agent set this up. He's getting things going for my foundation and he thought it would be good for me to check some places out to see what they do. I have a game tomorrow night—"

"Oh, right!" Haley slapped her hand down the table. "Philly, Chicago, then Houston! I can't believe I missed that!"

Nathan looked at Haley curiously. He vaguely remembered Peyton and Lucas telling him that Haley followed his games. "You watch?"

Haley looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, it's hard not to be a sports fan living in Boston." Nathan tried to cover his disappointment, but Haley was reading him like an open book. "That's not why I watched though," she said quietly.

"So, my foundation…you heard about it?" Nathan asked.

"Yes," Haley said slowly. "Nathan, I'm proud of you. I was the one who gave the quote to that reporter. You knew that, right?"

"I thought so but….Rachel said it wasn't you—"

"What?"

"She also said you threw away the flowers and had no interest—"

"Flowers?" Haley asked meekly.

"Ugh! Fuck. You didn't get them?"

"I fished some purple lilies out of the trash," Haley said shaking her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe Rachel would do something like that.

"Yep. That was them," Nathan said sourly.

"I didn't know, Nathan, I swear."

"Of course you didn't." Nathan suspected there were probably a million more examples like that, but there was no point in hashing them out now. All that mattered was that they were here together with no more interference. Nathan looked seriously at Haley. She looked devastated. So, yes,…it was clear that everything was all still there …and it was starting to scare the hell out of him. "So why are you here?" He asked aiming from a distraction from his whirlwind of emotions.

Haley laughed softly. "Well, supposedly, to network with an organization with similar goals and issues…but seeing as how Brooke set the whole thing up…"

"Yeah, this has our friends written all over it," Nathan agreed. "I guess they figured that since Brooke and Lucas are getting married—"

"I know!" Haley said excitedly. "I can't believe they waited so long!" As soon as they were out of her mouth, she regretted saying that. She remembered what Jake told her about Nathan wishing they got married and didn't want to strike a nerve with him.

"I guess," Nathan shrugged. "No, that didn't sound right. I'm happy for them. I really am." Nathan realized he was a mess. That room was just so small and it felt like it was closing in on him. He needed to get a hold of himself. He hadn't had a panic attack in a long time, but all the triggers were there. Nathan stood up surprising Haley.

"You're not leaving?" Haley asked looking like she was genuinely hurt.

Nathan fought the urge to pull her into her arms and press her close to his body. He wasn't thinking clearly and if he let his emotions control him, before long he knew they would find themselves in a very compromising position. Still, he couldn't leave her like this.

"Do you want to have dinner tonight?" Nathan asked surprising himself.

Haley stood up and took a step towards him. "I'd love that."

Nathan reached down and ran his thumb along her cheek and…down to her jaw. Her jaw…it had been wired shut…from Damien…the only swing he'd seen Damien take after he crawled up over that rock wall had been at her jaw. Nathan pulled his hand back sharply. "I gotta go."

Haley grabbed his hand and pulled him back. He was so distraught he couldn't look her in the eye. Haley threw herself at him and hugged him tight. She whispered the name of her hotel and asked him to meet her in the lobby at 7pm. She pulled back and looked up and him and put her hands to the side of his face. "Don't disappoint me, Nathan," she said sternly.

He felt as if he didn't have a choice; Haley had got inside his head alright. "I won't. I'll be there," he promised. "I'll bring a check, too. Anything so I won't have to deal with that Lucy chick again."

Haley turned his head and leaned on the tip of her toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Good. I'll be seeing you, Nathan Scott," Haley said suggestively as she headed out the door.

Nathan couldn't get over how she still had him figured out. That flirting was enough to drive him crazy. Now all he had to do was clear his head and set a game plan, otherwise he was just going be just hanging on for dear life all night since he always preferred offense to defense.

Haley let Nathan find his way out. She confidently walked back to the computer room unable to hide her exuberance. All the women's eyes lit up.

"So?" Erin asked for all of them.

"Tonight I'm having dinner with the love of my life," Haley proudly announced. Feeling the gravity of her words, she sat down in the nearest seat.

"Wow," Erin sighed appreciatively.

"Yeah," Haley nodded.

"So, he's, like, gone?" Lucy whined. "You let him leave? I was supposed to have a meeting with him! I didn't even get to finish the tour!"

Haley and Erin looked at each other and burst into laughter.

* * *

Haley hated the fact that she had to put on such a warm winter coat and hide the slinky red dress she was wearing. It was sleeveless v-neck, with a satin tie around the waist and flowed down just past her knees. The dress was a Clothes Over Bro's original and just one of her Christmas presents from Brooke. Brooke had insisted that she take the dress with her to Chicago and now Haley knew why. If she wasn't so pressed for time, she would have called Brooke and let her have it for setting her up like this. But after she left the office, she had to run around like crazy getting all the necessities to pretty herself up for a date. Then, it had taken her a while to get ready. Haley was determined to look her best for this dinner and kept her focus on that. In the end she was satisfied with her appearance, with the exception of that heavy coat.

Haley decided to just hold the coat as she headed to the lobby. She hopped on the elevator and a minute later found herself in the midst of a very bustling lobby. She looked around for Nathan, but saw no sign of him. She walked around and came to conclusion he was not there yet. She checked the time and saw it was exactly 7 p.m. Maybe he was running late. Haley decided to take seat on one of the couches facing the front entrance and wait.

It only took Haley a few minutes to grow cold in that seat. People were coming in and out of the revolving doors and gust after gust of the cold air kept hitting her body. Finally, Haley decided it was pointless to show off her dress and perfectly manicured body to Nathan if she was shivering and full of goosebumps. Haley stood up and began to put on the coat. By the time she was finished, she found Nathan standing in front of her grinning.

Haley stomped her foot in frustration. "Dammit!"

"And I thought you would be happy to see me," Nathan laughed.

"I just—Never mind," Haley muttered. "Is it snowing?" Haley leaned up and began brushing flakes of snow off of Nathan's coat. Nathan stood there like a stone pillar making it very difficult for Haley to reach all the snow. "Nathan!"

Nathan snapped out of his daze and bent his head down, where Haley began plucking the snow from his freshly-cut hair.

When she was finished, Haley looked at Nathan with disapproval. "Why aren't you wearing a hat?"

Nathan patted down his hair. "Because I didn't want to mess up my hair. Where's your hat, Haley?" Nathan pretended to look all around her and then gave her a smug look.

"Hmph. Well, if it's that bad out, why don't we just eat here? They have a really good restaurant. I ordered room service from it last night. Unless you made reservations somewhere?"

He hadn't thought of that. "No, we can just eat here."

Haley showed Nathan the way to the restaurant and stopped at the coat check. She got very excited when she saw it was finally time to take her coat off and make her big reveal. She held back a little and watched as Nathan took his coat off and check it in. Haley was about to take off hers when they were all distracted by a flurry of flashes from their far right. There were about four to five members of the paparazzi taking pictures of someone.

The clerk at the coat check told them that there were some celebrities dining there that evening.

Haley looked nervously at Nathan. "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Just then, some of Nathan's teammates came strutting by. "Hey, Scott!"

Haley slowly backed away as Nathan greeted his teammates.

"What are you doing here?" Nathan asked.

"Heard this place was the best. We just got in. Where you been at?"

"I had some business in the area, but uh, Tony, Devon, Pete, let me introduce you to…" Nathan turned around and to his shock, Haley had disappeared. "I have to go," Nathan said hastily.

Nathan felt guilty. He was used to dealing this kind of stuff, but Haley wasn't. All the public attention was clearly scaring her off. Luckily, he didn't have to go far to find her. Haley was sitting on a chair just right outside the restaurant.

"Sorry," Haley said embarrassed as she stood up.

"It's okay. Just so you know, Hales, the press isn't really into me anymore. I'd doubt they'd even know who I was and even if they did, they wouldn't care."

"But then your team came, including Tony Battle who everyone knows, and I bet then they'd be interested. That would make a nice picture for the paper," Haley pointed out.

Nathan had to admit she was right. She had picked up on that pretty quickly though which told him just how nervous she really was. "Okay, so you decide…tell me what you want to do."

"Honestly?" Haley asked biting her lower lip.

"Yes."

"I just kind of want to go back up to my room and order room service. It's cold out and I kind of had my mind setting on getting one of the appetizers I ordered last night ….and….I really like my privacy."

Nathan looked at her carefully. "So you want to call it a night?"

"No, no. I mean, if you want to go with the guys…No," Haley said certainty. At first she was going to give him an out, but then decided against it. "I meant for you to come with me. My room is pretty big, once again thanks to Brooke for that, and has a small table we can eat on, and it has a really nice view of the city. Nathan, I know it sounds funny, but it's just dinner. What do you think?"

Nathan's inner voice was screaming at him not to go to Haley's hotel room. It was not part of his plan to remain cool and slow things down. Sure it would be private, but that was the problem. Once he walked into that room, he was sure things were going to escalate between the two of them. Didn't she know that? He wasn't sure she did. Haley honestly looked worried to him and it wasn't like she planned for the lousy weather or the celebrity filled restaurant.

In the end, Nathan couldn't disappoint her. He had promised not to. "Okay."

Haley smiled broadly. She led him towards the elevator. Once they were inside and it became awkwardly silent. Haley could tell that Nathan wasn't thrilled about this change of venue. "Nathan, if this is too weird for you, just tell me. We can find someplace else."

"It's fine," Nathan said staring straight ahead.

Obviously it wasn't fine. "I'm not trying to hook up with you," Haley blurted out as she became desperate to comfort him. Nathan snickered and turned around and looked at Haley. For the first time, she noticed he was wearing a blue collared shirt. Her face began to turn red. "I mean, it probably looks like that, but I swear, it's not. It's just me after all. Just me." Nathan just kept quiet, content to let her babble on as she redder and redder. "I mean, going to my hotel room, huh? I bet girls try this with you all the time, but that's not my style, right?" Haley looked at Nathan for him to confirm this for her. He just nodded slightly and continued to look at her. "You know me, Nathan. I know it's been years, but it's still me. Haley James. Haley Bob James. Just me…" Haley's voice grew quieter as embarrassment flooded her. The elevator door opened up and Haley jumped out so fast, she wasn't sure if Nathan was behind her.

She walked quickly toward her hotel room; so quickly she passed it. She spun around, running smack into Nathan.

"Whoa! You a little nervous, Hales? You like this with all your conquests?" Nathan asked jokingly. "You like to lead your boy toys on wild goose chase? Like a maze, so they get lost and have no choice—"

"Here," Haley glared at him. "It's here. Not that I should let you in."

"Haley,….I was just having some fun." Nathan tried his best to look apologetically at her.

Haley put her card in the slot, much to her frustration, could not open the door. Nathan stood behind her laughing.

"Let me try," Nathan offered.

"No." Haley tried again as she put the card in and out rapidly and turned the door handle wildly.

"You have to wait until the light turns green, Hales."

"It's not turning green, Nathan!"

"Give it to me, Miss Impatience."

Haley thrust the card into his hands angrily and stepped back. She watched as Nathan slowly put the card in and out of the slot three times. Each time, the light did not turn green.

"See!" Haley said nudging him.

"Are you sure this is the right room?"

Haley looked closely at the number on the door. She then pushed Nathan aside and walked up a few rooms. "This is it! I knew it was up here!" Haley grabbed the card from his hands and triumphantly put it in the slot.

"Oh, you did, huh? So I was right! You were just leading me on!"

Haley stormed inside the room so fast that Nathan had to act fast to catch the door before it closed in his face.

As he walked into Haley's hotel room he was feeling more at ease. He was starting to remember just how fun and easy it was to be around her and he was truly looking forward to their dinner. But that was it, he told himself. They were definitely not going to have sex. This was just dinner…

Then Haley took off her coat. This was a game changer. In that red dress, she looked like the sexiest person he had every laid eyes on.

Haley shoved her coat in the closet and looked expectantly at Nathan. He was gawking at her. "Oh…you left your coat at the restaurant," Haley said as she began to grow uneasy at the way he was looking her.

"I'll get it later," Nathan whispered.

Haley took a deep breath as she realized that Nathan had finally seen her in her dress…and he looked pleased. She smiled and walked over to full length windows and opened up the curtains revealing the incredible view of the city lights of Chicago. "Nathan, come look!"

As much as Nathan wanted to be close to Haley, there was no way he was going near those full length windows. Windows like that just held bad memories for him. "Actually, I'm going to take a look at the menu."

As Haley indicated, the room was fairly large. There was a bathroom across from the closet, followed by a desk on one side and a couch on the other, a king size bed, night stand, and dresser with a tv. Then there was a large open space leading up to the windows were Haley as standing. The small table he presumed they would eat on was kind of close to the windows. That would be something he would worry about later. For now, Nathan went over to the desk and fished out the menu.

"Hey, look, Hales. They have macaroni and cheese on the kid's menu!"

Haley quickly appeared at Nathan's side. "They do not! Oh my God! How did I miss that? I didn't even know they had a kid's menu!"

"You're not going to order that from the kid's menu? I was joking."

"I'm not. I don't joke about macaroni and cheese."

Typical Haley. Nathan quickly gave Haley a light kiss on the forehead and went over and sat on the bed to look at the menu.

Haley stood there stunned. Had he just kissed her? On the forehead? Did he even realize that?

"So, I'm thinking I'm going to try the filet. What do you think? What did you get last night?"

"Chicken."

Nathan took a good look at Haley. She looked flustered. Then what he had subconsciously done hit him. He stood up. "Haley, I didn't mean to do that."

"It's okay."

Nathan felt like an ass. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," Haley assured him. "Besides," she smirked, "it would ruin my master plan to seduce you."

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" Once again, Nathan chided himself for getting caught up in Haley and their mutual teasing/flirting. "Okay, uh, let me order. You really want that mac n' cheese?"

"You have to ask?"

* * *

Halfway through their meal, Nathan and Haley had yet to talk about anything of substance. At first, they had spent most of their time catching up about silly things like their most recent favorite tv shows and movies. Then they talked about places they'd been to in Boston and wanted to go to. Nathan also talked about other cities he'd visited on the road. The entire conversation had been light. It included same laughs and more veiled flirting much, like earlier, and appeared as though it would continue that way.

Haley held up a spoon full of macaroni and cheese and pushed it toward Nathan. "You have to try this, Nathan."

"Haley, it's mac n' cheese. It all tastes the same."

"That's what I'm trying to prove to you! No, it doesn't." Haley leaned in closer and waved the spoon under his nose. "Come on, Nathan…"

Knowing how stubborn Haley was, Nathan reluctantly opened his mouth and Haley fed him.

Haley watched him carefully and felt satisfied when he gave her a slight smile. "See? Best macaroni and cheese ever! I am getting this every night for the rest of the week!"

"That's the best? You said that about the restaurant on the Riverwalk."

"Actually, you know what was better than that? Remember when we ate mac n' cheese in the limo on the way to the Sheryl Crowe concert? Where did you get that from? That stuff was amazing!"

"Oh," Nathan said remembering the night, struggling with the detail she wanted. "I forget the place but it's only a few blocks down from Karen's. It was owned by…" Nathan abruptly stopped talking.

"Who?"

Nathan shook his head in frustration. "The West's," he reluctantly admitted. "I'm pretty sure they owned it."

"Oh."

Tension filled the air, making them both uncomfortable.

Haley decided it might be time for their talk to turn serious. "You can say their name, you know. I mean, we can talk about it, too," she said softly.

Nathan knew in an instant he wasn't ready for that kind of talk. Why couldn't they keep things causal? They were just catching up, right? "I don't want to talk about any of that. Not now," Nathan said solemnly focusing on his plate.

"Okay," Haley said slowly rubbing her chin line as she tried to think of where to go from there.

Nathan looked up and saw Haley's hand move from her chin to her jaw. A flash of Damien taking aim at her jaw with the bad swept over all his senses paralyzing him.

Haley saw that Nathan, with his mouth slightly open, was staring right through her. He looked pale and like he was going to pass out. "Nathan! Nathan!"

Nathan came to his senses. "I'm just going to use the bathroom," he said weakly. He stumbled into the bathroom, closed the door and promptly began to splash cold water on his face. He wiped his face with the towel and looked into the mirror. He was not pleased with the person staring back.

Another flash came at Nathan. This time he saw Haley on the ground, all bloodied and beaten. Her legs had been mangled…he found out later it was because of her knees. Yet, now he knew that Haley was just outside the door and looked perfectly fine. In fact, she had told him back at the Duke game that her knees were fine. He tried to use these cold hard facts to comfort him, but the images taunting him were stronger. His chest began to heave and he unbuttoned the top couple of buttons of his shirt. He felt for the chain around his neck and traced his fingers down to the weight at the bottom. As usual, it brought him a modicum of relief, enough to regain his breath and slow down the attack. He grabbed a glass and took a drink of water and felt even better. After a few more minutes, he heard a knock at the door.

"Nathan? You okay in there?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'll be right out." Nathan buttoned back up his shirt and looked again in the mirror. He looked a little better. It would have to be good enough. If he was going to get through the rest of the night without having an attack, he was just going to have to make sure things didn't get too serious.

Haley was growing more worried by the second with Nathan in the bathroom. When he finally came out, he had regained some color, but still didn't look right. She thought back to what she knew about him and decided not to push him; for now. It was always touchy with him. When he was angry, he needed time to cool down, but when he was upset…that meant he usually needed to talk. Nathan was usually pretty good at talking with her about what was going on with him, but there were times when he needed a push. In her heart she felt this was one of those times, but with all the time they spent apart and their murky current state, she had her doubts. She decided to hold off for now and try to engage him in some more casual conversation.

"So tell me what it's like to finally achieve your dream of playing in the N.B.A.!"

"It's okay. It's really not what I expected."

"Really?" Haley asked surprised.

Nathan hedged a bit. He saw how he must look in the reflection of Haley's eyes. He had money, traveled, and the career he always wanted. At the end of the day, it wasn't enough. He had learned that during his first season in Boston. Not wanting to tell Haley all of that, and yet not wanting to lie, Nathan decided to try and explain some of the other issues he had with playing professional basketball. "At this level it's not really about the game anymore, you know? It's all about money and bonuses and stats. Some of the guys I play with don't even care if we lose a game, as long as their stats are good. People play for themselves and I've had a hard time getting used to that."

"Well, you've been playing good lately," Haley said positively.

"When I play…"

"You're playing a lot more this year than last! Your stats are good, right, especially when it comes to defense?"

Nathan smiled. He was touched that Haley kept track of him. "Since when did you become the big basketball expert?"

"I've always liked basketball!" Haley defended herself.

"You used to call free-throws, free-shots and you thought I was scoring touchdowns."

"That happened once and I was mortified! You laughed at me in front all your friends—"

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did," Haley said seriously. "I was twelve or thirteen. It was the only basketball game I went to before I got to high school. I was so excited to see you play and they had you starting varsity. You ignored me, as usual back then, but I didn't care. Right after the game I walked right up to you and said those things…and you laughed. I never made that mistake again," Haley muttered.

Nathan now remembered the encounter. His friends…that were by his side as he laughed at her…they had been Tim and Damien. He hated himself for that now. He hated how he let those guys influence his behavior…He hated how he had made Haley feel; like she was insignificant and stupid. "Haley…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you; that time or all the others…"

"Nathan, I was just kid. In middle school I faced far worse. There was peer pressure and bullying—"

"Yeah, I was a bully, Haley. It's no excuse—"

"Nathan, it didn't bother me, really. I was just giving you a hard time."

"But you're right. You never went to another game until you got to high school."

"I thought it didn't matter to you," Haley said quietly.

"You always mattered to me," Nathan said looking her in the eye.

Always and forever. They both heard the refrain in their heads and were affected by it in different ways.

Nathan put his napkin on his plate indicating he was finished with both the meal and the conversation.

Haley was now confident that Nathan needed a push. They had things to talk about and they needed to happen now before he shut her out completely.

"Are you seeing anyone, Nathan?" Haley asked.

Nathan was taken aback. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with her. Nothing good could come of this. "No. I don't do that."

"Do what?" Haley pressed him.

"Relationships," Nathan responded simply.

"Really. What do you do then?"

Nathan sighed. He felt like he was being interrogated. "You don't want to hear about that."

"I do actually. Is it true what it says in the papers?"

"Don't believe everything you read, Hales."

"Then tell me."

Nathan felt he like had no other choice. If she wanted to know, then he would tell her and just maybe after all these years she would finally see him for the asshole he was. "I only want women for one thing and I'm upfront with them about that. I have rules and I always tell them the rules."

"Rules?"

"Yeah." Nathan had no intention of telling her the rules. That would hit too deep for him. "Most of the time, it's okay, but there have been some girls that have wanted more."

"Like marriage? Kids?"

"Probably more like money, but those are always tied together, aren't they? I have no intentions of marriage and kids though. It's just not in the cards for me."

Haley didn't how to take this. The things he was saying…it wasn't the Nathan she knew. He couldn't have changed that much. She suspected that much like her, he must have this façade that he created after everything that happened.

For a moment, Nathan regretted saying that. He could see that Haley was confused…and probably hurt. If this conversation continued, it probably was going to get worse.

Haley was not backing down. "What is this, Nathan?" She asked bluntly, gesturing to the two of them.

"I don't know, Haley," Nathan said frustrated. He hated how she was pressing him like this. "Friends? Are we trying to be friends?"

"Friends," Haley repeated. "You and me…friends," she said mockingly.

Nathan stood up. "Maybe I should leave. This…This isn't what I wanted."

Haley stood up as well. "What did you want then, Nathan?" She asked sharply.

"I don't know!" Nathan raised his voice.

"You and I cannot just be friends, Nathan."

"Then I guess we're nothing," Nathan spat out.

Haley didn't believe that for a second. "You don't mean that."

"Look, Haley, we're already fighting! Is this what you want?"

"We're fighting because you're trying to shut me out! You're forgetting how well I know you Na—"

Haley had hit too close to home with that one. Nathan pushed his chair back and prepared to leave. "I have to go."

"Wait! I have one more thing to say to you, Nathan," Haley called out to him as he reached the door.

Nathan stopped with his hand on the door, his back to Haley. He stayed that way unable to face her. Once look at her and his resolve would weaken. He would listen to what she had to say and then leave.

Haley spoke loudly and clearly, her words cutting right through him like a sharp knife. "A lot of things and people have come between us over the years,…I think we both know that now…but if you walk out that door, Nathan Scott, that is _you walking out on me_…and I WILL _NEVER _FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT!"

Haley watched for Nathan's response. He stood still with his back to her. He made a motion to turn the door handle and Haley turned and walked over to the windows. She couldn't bear to watch him leave.

She heard the door open and shut and her shoulders hunched over as she began to sob uncontrollably.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Break Me" (Jewel)

AN: Thank you for all the reviews!


	54. Chapter 53

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 53: "Break Me" (Jewel)

Haley stiffened as she heard movement from behind her. She closed her eyes and held her breath as silent tears began to flow down her cheeks. She waited.

When she felt Nathan's hands slip around her waist and his warm breath at her ear, she let her breath release into a soft sob.

"I never could stand it when you cried," Nathan whispered into her ear.

Haley twisted around and put her head into his chest and continued to cry. Her tears were a mixture of relief, comfort and joy. She was sure the worst was over. The fact that he hadn't left…that he had stayed…it meant that she had broken through his wall and that her instincts were right. Their connection was there and she just had to fight for it.

Nathan felt horrible for putting Haley through this. Once again, he was hurting her. He probably should have left, but once again, he was too selfish. Her words had affected him and he couldn't leave on those terms. Now, as she sobbed in his arms, he wanted nothing more than to comfort her. So he held her…He rubbed her back….He patted her head…and pushed her back, kissed her forehead and looked deep into her eyes.

"I didn't mean what I said," Nathan said apologetically.

"Neither did I," Haley admitted. "I wouldn't have just let you go like that."

Nathan felt his heart skip a few beats as he processed those words. "I wouldn't have made it down the hall."

Haley's brown eyes glistened as she searched his. In that moment, he wanted to kiss her…but he couldn't. He was still afraid to let her all the way in and a kiss would undoubtedly do just that. But he was going to stay as long as she wanted. He wanted to make things right…He just needed to get away from that damn window.

"Haley, can we sit down? And talk? For real this time?"

"Yes," Haley said wiping her cheeks dry.

Nathan took a deep breath and went over and sat down on the side of the bed. Haley followed him, but stumbled along the way. As soon as she took a seat next to him, she kicked off her heels.

Nathan's eyes rested on Haley's knee. "You knee still bothers you, huh?"

Haley quietly laughed prompting Nathan to look curiously at her. She put her hand on his knee and looked at him. "Nathan, my knee is fine. Really. I'm a klutz, you know that."

Nathan briefly smiled before turning serious again. "Tell me, Haley. Tell me how you're doing…and be honest. I can take it."

"I'm good, Nathan," Haley said assuredly.

Nathan shook his head at her unconvinced.

Haley realized she was going to have to really try and convince him. She turned slightly sideways and scooted right up to him. "I have some screws in my right knee, but that's it. I have no physical restrictions. Sometimes it aches when it rains, but so does the wrist I broke when I was six."

"Your jaw? You ribs?"

"All healed. I mean, it was hard, Nathan,…and painful…and there were some days I never thought I would be normal again, but I am. Looking back I don't know how I did it, but I did. And so did you…"

"But I deserved what happened to me, Haley, and you didn't." Nathan could already feel tears stabbing at his eyes and wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back. He really didn't want Haley to see him break down, but he was beginning to see this was inevitable.

"No, Nathan," Haley said running her hand along his cheek. "You can't think that."

"It's the truth," Nathan shrugged despondently. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was about to crack and was just about done fighting it. He opened his eyes, reached over and took Haley's hand. "There's something I have to say to you, Haley. Something I've wanted to say for a long time."

"Okay," Haley said already fighting back tears.

"_I'm sorry_," Nathan choked out. He shook his head and started crying. "_I'm…so_…_sorry_. _So, so…sorry_."

"Nathan—"

"I need to say this, Hales." Haley nodded and Nathan took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm sorry for not protecting you, like I should have. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you long before that. I'm sorry…" Nathan trailed off as his lost his breath. He took a few quick short breaths and exhaled. "I'm sorry for loving you—"

"No, no, no!" Haley cried out.

"—because what happened was my fault."

"Nathan," Haley said desperately. She brought her hands to his face. "It was not your fault," she said sternly.

Tears streamed down Nathan's face. "It was. I'm the one to blame—for bringing you there, for egging on Damien, for getting you upset, for drinking, for not getting to you sooner—That blame lies with me."

Haley kept her hands glued to his face. "You are not to blame for what happened."

"_I am_," Nathan said with conviction. He turned his face away from Haley, but she was quick to use her hands to force him to look at her again.

"Nathan! You are not! Two people are to blame and neither one of them is us. I mean, we both made mistakes-_I_ jumped off that boat. _I_ was so immature—"

"Don't!" Nathan snapped angrily, startling Haley. He took a deep breath and softened but still had those serious, haunted eyes. "I need to take responsibility for what happened, Haley. I need to get this off my chest and I can't do that when you say things like that to make me feel better. I know you mean well, but it's not helping."

Haley nodded. She would have to say her regrets about that day for another time. "I just don't want you to hold on that guilt. It's going to eat you alive."

Nathan shook his head adamantly indicating that Haley was making no progress.

"Okay. Now I have something to say," Haley said shifting gears. She was going to keep things as simple as possible as she tried to get through to him.

"Haley, I told you; you don't need to try to make me feel better. It is what it is, and I needed to say it—"

"Let _me_ tell _you_ how it is." Haley pushed right up against him and put her arms around his shoulders. She shifted up on one of her knees and rested her forehead on his. They were so close that they couldn't see each other and that was the way Haley wanted it. More than anything, she wanted Nathan to feel the sincerity of her words. Haley whispered her words slowly and deliberately. "_I….don't….blame…you._"

Nathan immediately broke into a sob.

"_I don't blame you_," Haley repeated. "You understand?"

Nathan began to sob even harder and Haley shifted his head to her chest. She felt him giving himself away to her, as he let her comfort him. She was grateful, yet at the same time her heart was breaking for him. She stroked his hair tenderly and kissed his head and whispered softly to him. "I know you blame yourself, Nathan, but I hope someday you can let that go…Until then, just know that I don't regret our relationship. I don't regret loving you and it would kill me to think you did too."

Haley pulled away from Nathan and looked at him. Tears were still coming down his cheeks. She went over to the nightstand and grabbed some tissues and wiped away his wet cheeks. Nathan just sat there staring straight ahead. Haley sat down next to him and waited. Finally he looked over at her.

"Your father blames me."

"No, he doesn't."

"He told me that, Haley. He—"

"If he did, he regrets that, Nathan. I know he does. He took me to Charlotte to see you when you were in the hospital. He even spent time alone with you when you were unconscious."

"He saved my life, Hales. He was probably telling me how much he regretted that."

"You really believe that, Nathan? Is that what you felt when you were unconscious?"

"No," Nathan sighed. He didn't remember anything from that time.

"Well," Haley continued, "after that, he tried to convince me to visit you again, but I just couldn't….That is something I regret."

"Well, I don't blame you for that. You didn't need to deal with me trying to recover after what you were going through."

"I think you're wrong. We could have helped each other, Nathan. We never should have been apart. Don't you see that? Don't you feel that?"

"I feel like if I say yes, then I'm just a selfish bastard that doesn't deserve you. I never did, Haley."

"Well, you're wrong there, too," Haley said flatly. "How do you feel _now_, Nathan? Right now?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes. Don't say something to try and protect me. I'm a big girl and I can handle it."

"Right now, my head is pounding….My eyes are stinging because I'm pretty sure they're bloodshot…and I could have a panic attack any second."

Haley swiftly got up and went into the bathroom. She returned a minute later with a glass of water and some Tylenol. "Here."

Nathan took the pills and drank the water.

"I'm sorry you feel lousy, but we needed to have this conversation, Nathan." Haley hopped on the bed and moved behind Nathan.

"I know," Nathan agreed. He jerked up as his felt Haley's hand on his shoulders. He tried to look back, but she brushed his head forward.

"Just relax," Haley ordered him as she shifted to her knees and began massaging his shoulders.

"You don't have to do that, Haley."

Haley ignored him and began to use her thumbs to work on two spots by his shoulder blades that felt stiff.

Nathan couldn't resist how good that felt. "God, Hales."

It didn't take Haley very long to realize how tense he really was and she was determined to help ease his stress as best she could. She pulled her hands away. "Now lie down on your stomach," she instructed him.

"What?"

"Lie down. Take off your shoes and lie down. I'm going to give you a massage. You need to relax."

"You don't need to do that, Haley."

"Don't argue with me, Nathan Scott!" Haley said severely as she moved off the bed. She bent down at his feet as if she was preparing to take his shoes off for him.

He recognized that tone in Haley and knew her stubborn streak was emerging. There was no way he could fight that, but he could try and regain a little dignity. "Okay," Nathan said brushing her away. "I can take off my own shoes, Haley."

* * *

Nathan forgot just how good Haley was at both giving massages and relaxing him. It took him a little while to loosen up because it had been so long since someone touched him this way. At first she had to yell at him to relax. She told him just how tense and stiff he was and that she could tell he was that way often. He honestly hadn't noticed. He had become used to the constant dull aching in his back, which eventually settled in toward the base of his spine. Right, now though, all he could think about was how he was lying in Haley's bed and how she was hovering over his back; that made it even harder to relax.

Eventually, he let that go, and just focused on her soothing touches. Her movements were at times tender and other times rough. She started at his neck, moved on to his shoulders and then worked her way down his back. By that time, he was dozing off. At some point, Haley must have untucked his shirt in order to have better access to his back. He relaxed even more, as her hands come into direct contact with his bare skin, moving from his upper to lower back. Everything Haley was doing was just right and he felt totally at peace as he slipped into a light sleep.

When he felt Haley's lips on his back, his eyes flew open. Her single kiss rested upon his scar from the exit bullet wound on his lower left back. It only lasted for a brief second, but it was enough to send a rush of heat through his body.

After that, Haley moved to his side and curled up next to him on the bed. Nathan had closed his eyes trying to contemplate his next move. The ball was in his court and he had a fair idea what should come next. He was torn. He wanted to touch Haley, his body signals were already sending him those messages, but he just wasn't sure if he could do it. Those flashes he had were intense enough to think twice.

Nathan finally opened his eyes to find Haley had hers closed. Before he knew it, he was reaching over and brushing away the stray hair that fell over her face. Haley opened her eyes and stared deep into his. They stayed that way for a minute just looking at each other.

"You tired?" Haley asked yawning.

He was, but decided it was time to come clean. "Haley,…I'm afraid to touch you."

Haley was disturbed by this admission. "You are?"

"I keep seeing these flashes of you…lying there on the ground…and then in the hospital all bandaged up…Those images haunt me, Hales. I don't know if I can get over them."

"I think you can….but, maybe you could just hold me? Like you used to?"

Nathan had his doubts, but couldn't turn her down. He rolled onto his back and Haley quickly shifted over and put her head on his chest and draped her arm around him. Nathan lay motionless for a minute as he tried to relax his now highly aroused body. The only thing saving him was that Haley's body was pressed up against his side instead of on top of his. This he could handle. He eventually wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes and let the incredible sense of peace and comfort he was feeling from Haley overcome him.

After a couple of minutes, he heard Haley softly whisper, but he wasn't sure he heard her right.

"I feel safe…"

It just didn't make sense to him.

* * *

Haley tried her best to stay still. Nathan had fallen asleep very quickly and was softly snoring. She had fallen asleep as well, but had woken up a short while ago. Now, she was fully awake and had no interest in going back to sleep. All she wanted to do was savor this moment. She was lying in the arms of the man she loved. A man who had saved her life, yet carried around this intense guilt that broke her heart. She wanted to ease that guilt, to show him how she felt, because she was always better at showing people how she felt instead of saying it. But she held back. He had told her he was scared…that he saw those horrific images of her…and Haley didn't want that. So she was determined to hold back for his sake, even though her body was fighting her on that.

So for a while, she studied his face, his breathing patterns and body. She resisted the urge to shift up and kiss him. But most of her concentration had to be focused on staying still because her body seemed to have a mind of its own. It was bad enough she was pressed up right against him, but apparently that wasn't enough. Haley's leg kept wandering on top of his and her hand that was flat on his chest really wanted to move downward. At one point, Haley's body had even twitched, but luckily Nathan didn't stir from that.

Haley didn't want to wake Nathan because he looked so peaceful and relaxed but also because she was afraid what would happen next. Would want to leave? Would he brush off what happened? The things that were said?

Haley was caught off-guard when Nathan tightened his grip around her. Her body used the opportunity to push more on top of him, causing his eyes to flutter open. Haley tried not to look at him as he stole a glance at her and then looked at the clock.

Haley waited to for his reaction. He hugged her body and then began rubbing her back. Haley felt like she was about to burst. She had to do something. "What time is it?" She asked.

"Eleven."

"Oh." Haley waited for another response, but got none. She couldn't take it anymore. "I don't want you to go." Other than the rubbing on her back, she still got no response. "Do you want to spend the night?" More silence. "Like this? Like we used to? You can just hold me? Nothing else has to happen." Haley was desperate when she said that.

"Just like this?" Nathan asked skeptically.

Haley couldn't tell if he was teasing or not. "Yes. Just like this."

"Okay."

Haley could barely contain her excitement. She shifted out of his arms and sat up and gave him a beaming smile.

Nathan sat up and shook his head at her. Haley didn't know how to take that. "I'm going to use the bathroom. Maybe take off some of these clothes and get comfortable."

"I wouldn't mind if you took off your shirt," Haley said with a smile.

Nathan pointed his finger sternly at Haley. "You are troublemaker."

As soon Nathan was the bathroom, Haley began to dig out her pajamas. She sighed heavily. What was he going to think? He was going to think she had planned this. He was going to tease her about trying to seduce him. Well, there was no point hiding it. It was all she had. She sat on the bed and waited for him to finish up so she could take her turn. Luckily, he didn't take long. Nathan emerged a few minutes later, still wearing his dress pants, but carrying his shirt. Haley purposely brushed up against him on her way to the bathroom and shot him a wicked smile.

After that smile, Nathan knew there was little to no chance of them just spending the night sleeping. Despite his reservations, there was no way he could resist her. He just hoped he wouldn't make a fool of himself.

Once Nathan reached the bed he figured he might was well strip down to his boxers. He was still determined to try as hard as he could to keep her at bay, but the reality was, it wasn't going to be too difficult for her to tell just how aroused he was. He could try to make it less obvious though. He went and turned off all the lights so the only things lighting up the room were the lights from the city shining in through the window. He wished he had the nerve to go and shut those damn curtains and black out the room, but he was afraid that might throw him off. So he got into bed and turned on his side, facing the spot where Haley would lie.

He would start by kissing her. If he could kiss her and make it through that, then he would go a little further, assuming the signals were there of course.

As soon as he heard Haley leave the bathroom, Nathan spoke up. "Hey Hales, want to shut those curtains?"

"Okay." As Haley went over and shut the long red curtains, she starting to think that maybe all Nathan was truly interested in doing was sleeping. She resigned herself to this as she got into bed, realizing that at least sleeping in the same bed was a start…Still, she hoped for more. One kiss. Okay, maybe two.

Nathan's heart was racing as Haley joined him. He had watched her close those curtains. He had seen what she was wearing. It had only been for a second, but he was sure he saw his name on her back, illuminated by the city lights. It had quickly faded when the room darkened so he had to be sure though.

As Haley turned on her side to face him, he sat up and drew the covers back. He saw the Raven's logo rise and fall on Haley's chest as she breathed heavily. He looked at her and saw that she was nervous about his reaction.

"I-It's all I had," Haley stammered. She had purposely packed one of Nathan's old t-shirts knowing Rachel wouldn't be around to see it. She certainly hadn't planned on this happening and found the whole thing to be embarrassing.

"Haley…" Nathan said in awe.

"I never let go, Nathan," Haley whispered. "I never did."

Nathan picked up the chain around his neck and held out the bottom for Haley to see. "Neither did I."

Haley gasped with her eyes wide open. "Is that…? Is it?"

"I took it from the hospital. I didn't mean to. It somehow ended up in my pocket."

Haley looked at him and then back at the chain. She opened her mouth to speak, but found no words.

"It helps me," Nathan explained. "It keeps me from a panic attack. I just feel this…and think of you…"

"My ring. You have my ring," Haley said processing everything. She put her fingers on it and rubbed it vigorously making sure it was real. "I wanted it so bad. They told me it was lost. Everyone went looking for it. Even my dad! For months, he went there! Nathan,…you have my ring!" She exclaimed emotionally.

"I do," Nathan smiled.

Haley slid her arms under Nathan's shoulders and tugged to bring him as close as possible to her. She kept a tight grip on him as he squeezed her tight. His head bent down to hers. As his eyes fell upon her lips, Haley licked them in anticipation. She waited….

…And Nathan hesitated…He wanted to kiss her; he was just terrified to do it.

Haley's heart began to beat faster…She began to get frustrated…He had done this to her before…like when he said he was going to give her first kiss. After that, it had always been a running joke with him. He would do it over and over just to tease her. It was totally Nathan style…Was this like before? Was he teasing her? Then, she saw him bite his lower lip….No, he was just nervous…He needed her to make the first move….and so she did.

Haley's tilted her head up. She let her lips linger over his and then gave him a gentle kiss. One simple kiss was all it took.

They both recoiled as if zapped by an electrical current. A second later, they began kissing each other zealously. The electricity that flowed between them was one that neither of them had felt in over seven years. It spurred them on as Haley's hands moved furiously up and down Nathan's back as his went to her hair.

Passion filled every orb of Haley's body as she began to grind up against him. The second she felt his hardness, she moaned. Nathan responded by pushing her on to her back and kissing her more forcefully. As his hands began to trace the sides of her body, Nathan pulled away and looked at her.

It looked like he was looking for her permission to go further.

Haley brought her hands to the side of his face and whispered. "Make love to me, Nathan."

Nathan flinched and then just stared at her with an intensity that sent chills down her spine. She began to doubt herself…maybe she had pushed too far, too fast.

"I'm sorry," Haley said embarrassed as she withdrew her hands. "We don't have to—"

Nathan brushed his hand down the side of her cheek and lightly stroked her chin with his thumb. "I've dreamed of this moment so many times," Nathan said with his searing blue eyes burning into hers.

"You have?" Haley asked. Nathan continued to look at her and slightly nodded. "Me too," she told him. Haley took one of his hands, slid it under her shirt and rested it on her breast.

Nathan began tracing circles around her nipple and then resumed kissing her. As he did, he continued to caress her breast with one hand, while he used his other hand to push up her shirt. Haley shifted up and began to pull of the shirt, with Nathan stepping in and taking it fully off of her and then throwing it on the floor.

Haley watched as Nathan hovered over her, examining her body. She was naked except for her red panties. She was slightly nervous, only because it had been so long since he had seen her body. It had changed a lot since she was sixteen. She was still thin and petite, but also had developed some curves. She was interested to see Nathan's response to this.

Nathan shifted to the side of her and his eyes scanned over the full length of her body. He did this a number of times when Haley finally realized what he was looking for.

She lifted up her right knee. "I have two scars; one on each side from the incision."

Nathan looked closely, spotted them and nodded. He looked up at her to continue.

"That's it."

"Really?"

"Those are the only scars, I have, Nathan. I told you; I'm all healed."

Nathan shifted up and gave her deep kiss on the lips.

"Are you still afraid to touch me?" Haley asked hesitantly. She was nervous about his answer but needed to know before she completely got lost in him .

"No," Nathan said clearly. He ran his hand up the side of her body and onto her breast. "All I see right now is this crazy sexy woman I've been in love with all my life."

Haley pulled his head back to hers and kissed him, sliding in her tongue at the end.

Nathan pulled back with a crooked smile. "God, I love it when you do that."

Haley expected him to come back down for another kiss, but instead he moved down toward the end of the bed. He picked up her left foot, began laying a trail of kisses up the length of her leg. The close he got to her center, the more Haley felt the pool of heat forming there. She began twitching as he laid kisses on the inside of her leg and then glossed over her the center of her panties with his fingers. Haley was barely able to watch was he then repeated these actions with her right foot and leg. Midway through, he stopped to gently kiss the two scars on her knee. He then continued up on the inside of her leg. As he arrived back at her center, there was no doubt that Nathan could tell just how wet she was.

Haley waited for him to take off her panties, but instead, he continued his trail of kisses onto her stomach, ribs and breasts. The kisses continued up the side of her neck and eventually reached her lips. At this point, Haley began to hungrily kiss him back as she moved her hands over his back.

Nathan pulled away and rested his arms on the sides of her head. Not wanting to slow things down, Haley tried to reach up and tried to kiss him but he just smiled and lifted his head higher. Haley hated how he had her on the edge with anticipation. His behavior was tantalizing and with every second she felt her desires grow. She wasn't sure how much more she could take. She was about to tell him so when Nathan looked at her seriously. Haley saw that he wasn't just trying to slow things down or tease her; he had something on his mind.

"What, baby?" Haley asked softly as she gently rested her hands on his lower back.

"You don't have any other scars?" Nathan asked skeptically.

"I told you—"

Nathan's voice was soft and tender and his eyes intense. "What about the ones on the inside, Hales?"

Startled, Haley stopped breathing for a second. Once recovered, she took a series of quick short breaths as tears sprung to her eyes. Nathan's eyes were burning into hers, as if they could see all the way down inside of her, into the depths of her soul. How could do that? No one else had ever been able to do that. After seven years apart, one day, one night really, proved he still knew her better than anyone else. She may have been able to fool everyone else, not him.

Nathan used his thumb to wipe away the tears that were flowing down the sides of her cheek and onto her neck. "No one knows about them, do they, Haley?"

Haley was too emotional to speak, so she just shook her head emphatically.

"I do, Haley." Nathan continued to try and wipe away her tears. "Want to know how I know?"

Haley nodded.

"I know…" Nathan leaned in and let his forehead rest on hers. "I know, because…I have them, too," he whispered.

Haley let a soft sob escape as Nathan kissed her forehead and looked deep into her eyes. She could see he was fighting back his own tears.

"Nathan…" Haley trailed off knowing that she wanted had something important to tell him about how she was feeling, but was so overcome she couldn't find the words.

"Think we can heal each other, Haley? Because I'm so ready to heal…" Nathan voice cracked.

"I know we can," Haley said confidently as she tried to stop her crying. "We already are."

Nathan began rubbing her tears away again until one of his own tears dropped onto her. They shared a quiet laugh, lightening the mood. Then they looked at each other, both beaming, letting the joy and love in the air infiltrate their mind and body. Still smiling, they rubbed their noses together and laughed again.

"This feels so good, Haley." Nathan nuzzled his faced in her neck, and then began kissing her.

Haley was about to get lost again, when she tugged at the back of his head, making him stop. She still had something to tell him.

Nathan looked up at Haley and saw that she was anxious. He felt a little guilty for getting her so emotional like that. He hadn't planned on it, but now that he was completely open and vulnerable with her, he wanted her to be the same with him. Earlier, he had cried in her arms, and she had comforted him, but she had never really let him in and he needed her to do that. He wanted to be with her in every way; mentally, physically, and yes, emotionally. When they cried together, it was just another thing to connect them on a deeper level and although he didn't regret it for him, he didn't want Haley left feeling bad.

"I…I.." Haley stopped talking as she got lost in Nathan's eyes as he hovered about her. He was looking at her just like he was before and she half expected him to pluck the words out her brain and speak them for her. It was a little unnerving.

Nathan could see Haley was struggling. She had something to tell him was having trouble finding the words. From what he remembered, this was typical with Haley. She had always struggled to verbalize her feelings, but Nathan was worried that maybe this wasn't the case. Maybe he didn't know her as well as he thought. Maybe she had changed. Maybe he had pushed her too far. Maybe she was going to ask him to leave. No, that's not what he saw or what he felt. She just needed some support.

Haley closed her eyes and tried to clear her head. She heard Nathan's voice and the clarity she was searching for arrived.

"Take your time….I'm not going anywhere…" Nathan said softly.

Haley opened her eyes. She fought the lump forming in the throat. "I love you."

Nathan was speechless. Something so simple, yet so meaningful.

Haley took a deep breath, as tears once again reached her eyes. "_I..I..love you…so much. So much._"

It was the best thing she could have ever said to him.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "Return to Me" (Matt Ryan)

AN: So what did you think? Only two chapters left. The next one picks up right where this one left off. The last one is also very short- just tying up loose ends for those that want the story to end here. In my head I liken this story to OTH 1-4 and I know some people think the show should have ended there. So if you are one of those readers and really enjoy the teen stuff, then I don't expect you to continue on. If you do, Part Two is called "Far Away." It deals with a lot of adult issues and is very psychological, yet also has drama and suspense. I will pose a list of topics covered with the final chapter. So far, I am still having a blast writing that story. It was always the story I wanted to tell and I hope you see how their prolonged separation gives me so much to write about! I can't wait to start posting that!

Thanks for the reading and for reviewing! I appreciate all your support and love hearing your opinions.


	55. Chapter 54

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! Characters belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 54: "Return to Me" (Matt Ryan)

Nathan was still reeling from Haley's emotionally charged declaration of love when she reached up and gently tugged on his chain to bring him back down to her. As their mouths met, they both poured their feelings into a series of frantic and hungry kisses.

Nathan kissed Haley like he couldn't get enough of her, letting his lips and tongue move all along hers. Haley struggled to keep up with him. He was literally stealing her breath away to the point where Haley had to gently push him back. Nathan looked at her with pure lust in his eyes and before she had a real chance to catch her breath, he began kissing her again.

"Nathan!" Haley gasped, pushing him slightly away again. "Breathe," she gasped. "I need to breathe."

"Okay," Nathan said undeterred. "I'll just kiss you here." With that same intensity, Nathan's lips reached a tender spot on her neck. When he started sucking on that spot, Haley grabbed at his back.

Nathan stifled his smile as he continued to suck on that spot. It was the same spot that had always driven Haley crazy. He was anxious to see if the other things he remembered were the same. Next, he moved his lips to her breast. Haley cried out a little, reminding him of just how much he loved listening to the sounds she made when she let herself go like this. When he was finished with both of her breasts, Nathan he pretended he was going to kiss her lips again. He snickered at the sight of an expectant Haley with her eyes closed and mouth open.

Haley opened her eyes, scowled and then tried to pull him back to her, but Nathan resisted.

"Un-uh, Hales. I thought you wanted to breathe," Nathan teased her.

"Then what are you going to do, Nathan?" Haley played back. "Just stare at me like that?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"You know what I want you do," Haley said as she began to running her fingers lightly along his back.

"Fuck," Nathan blurted out as he felt himself grow harder with her touch.

"That's right," Haley smiled.

Nathan laughed and leaned in and whispered in Haley's ear. "I want to make love to you, Haley. I want to make love to you all night."

"Nathan," Haley moaned as a tingling sensation swept through her body. She moved one of her legs over his in an attempt to motivate him to get going.

"Is that right? Is that what you want?" Nathan said looking at her with a smirk.

"Uh-huh."

"Haley,…tell me."

Haley rolled her eyes in frustration. He had her right where he wanted her, with all the control and Haley was desperate to turn the tables on him. She gave him coy smile. "I hope you meant that, because I'm going to hold you to that. You said all night."

Nathan's eyes grew wide. "Fuck," he muttered. "I forgot you could be like this."

"Like what?" Haley said innocently as she ran her leg up and down his.

Nathan swiftly moved his hands to her panties. Haley lifted up, allowing him to pull them down her body. Seconds later, Haley gasped as Nathan's fingers entered her body, sending her waves of pleasure. She let him do this for a while as her need for him intensified. When she couldn't take it anymore, she pushed away his hand and pulled him back down on top of her. As he began to kiss her, she began tugging at his boxers, but was struggling.

"Off," Haley muttered through their passionate kisses.

Nathan quickly granted her wish as he shifted around and pulled the boxers off. He threw them on the floor and then turned his attention back to Haley as he sat upright, with one knee on either side of Haley. He looked at her with an intense focus as he prepared to move back on top of her.

"Oh my God, Nathan!" Haley gasped at the sight of him.

"What?" Nathan asked looking around confused.

"I forgot how big you were."

Nathan smirked and shrugged. "You make me this way, Hales."

"You must, like," Haley said in exasperation, "need extra large condoms, huh?"

"Fuck!" Nathan blurted out, followed by a heavy sigh. He sat up, swore again and looked at Haley, distraught. "I don't have any."

"What?" Haley asked, honestly surprised.

"I-I didn't plan on this happening. In fact, I purposely made sure I didn't have any on me."

"Oh," Haley said disappointed.

"You want me to go get some?" Nathan asked desperately.

"I don't want you to leave," Haley said honestly, "but I'm on the pill if that helps."

"So you want to keep going?"

"Yes, um, unless I have to worry about something? Could you have—"

"No!" Nathan quickly cut her off. "Haley, I've never had sex without a condom; not even once and I get physicals all the time!"

"Okay, then," Haley said assuredly.

"You're sure?" Nathan asked as the lust returned to his body. "I can be real careful."

Haley shook her head. "No, Nathan…I don't want you to hold back."

"I'll take care of you. I'll do whatever you want," Nathan placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

"I know that, but I don't want you to hold back. I don't want you to be scared to give yourself to me. I want all of you."

Nathan took one look at a writhing Haley. "I can do that. Just tell me if—"

Haley reached up and pulled Nathan back down to her. "I trust you."

Nathan's intense eyes bore into hers as he placed himself at her entrance. Haley put her hands on his shoulders as a source of comfort to both of them. As Nathan's lips fell softly on hers, she felt him begin to gently push into her. She could tell he was trying very hard to control himself, despite what she had told him. Haley kissed him back forcefully but turned her head to the side and cried out as he moved a little deeper inside of her. She quickly realized that there was no way she was going to be focus on anything else. This just felt so damn good and even if he was holding back, there was no way she could.

Nathan tried to control himself with Haley, but he was struggling. He hadn't anticipated this unbelievable sensation as he moved inside of her unrestricted. He had told her the truth…that he had left out the condom he kept in his wallet back his hotel on purpose…but at this moment he was regretting it. Feeling Haley…her want for him…her wetness…her tightness…her warmth…it was such an incredible thing. This…having sex without a condom… was just another thing he wanted to do only with Haley. So before he knew it, he was pushing deeper into her, not that Haley seemed to mind as she was moaning with every little move he made. Wanting to hear more of those types of sounds, he moved his mouth to Haley's breasts.

Haley was having trouble thinking as she began tugging on Nathan's hair. Adding to the fury building inside her was the way Nathan's lips and tongue were gliding over her breasts. She had no idea how he could focus on doing that considering what he was also doing with the lower half of his body.

Nathan could feel Haley unraveling beneath him. Wanting to watch her, to be with her completely, to once again feel that deep connection they shared the first night they made love, he shifted slightly so he could look in her eyes. Her head was cocked to side with her eyes closed, so he gently turned it and her eyes fluttered opened.

Haley knew that Nathan wanted her to keep her eyes opened. She wanted to do that too, but her bodily impulses were fighting her. Then just like always, Haley found the strength she was looking for in Nathan's eyes. They were now a deep shade of blue and acted like a window into his soul and a gateway for the connection they always shared. So she kept hold of those eyes, whispering his name, as she let herself feel things she hadn't felt since the last time she was with him; things she thought she might never feel again.

Nathan felt his own needs beginning to surface as Haley whispered his name. "Are you close?"

"Uh-huh," Haley nodded. She brought one hand to his back and hooked one of her legs over his ass.

"Haley," Nathan grunted trying to hold himself back as this he slid a little deeper into her.

"Oh, God, Nathan!" Haley cried out loudly.

Nathan grabbed her free hand, clasped it in his and brought to her pillow. Keeping his eyes focused on Haley, he picked up his pace. Haley responded with a series of cries, followed by a brief moment of silence and then a scream of ecstasy as her entire body arched towards his. Nathan prepared to finally let go…until Haley began crying out again.

Haley honestly didn't know what was happening to her. One minute she was feeling waves of pleasure tearing through her body, the next calmness and serenity, and then the intensity picked back up as her body began to crave the pleasure again. She was back to grabbing on this back with her free hand, jerking her hips towards his, and crying out loudly.

Their movements quickly synchronized as they met each other trust for thrust. This time Nathan was sure Haley was reaching her climax as her nails dug into her back, silence crossed her lips and her eyes widened as she stared into his, then came her hoarse scream. One thrust later, Nathan followed suit. After coming down from his high, he fell to Haley's side and they both spent a minute trying to regain their breaths.

Once his wildly beating heart started to calm down, Nathan turned to face Haley. "Haley, did you—"

"Twice," Haley nodded her eyes filled with awe. "How did you do that?"

"You haven't even seen my 'A game' yet!" Nathan joked with a small smile. The truth was he hadn't done much. It was more that Haley had completely let herself go with him. He wasn't even sure she was aware of this.

"Lord, help me if that's true…"

"Really…And let me tell you this….I never want to use a condom again. You have no idea how good that felt."

Haley looked at Nathan seriously. He had left her with a wide-open opportunity to test him and she was going for it.

"Well, that's not really a good idea," Haley said slowly. "You should protect yourself and you don't want to have any kids."

Nathan scoffed and then ran his hand through her hair. "Haley,…did you think this was a one night stand?"

"I don't know," Haley shrugged and bit her lip.

"You're full of shit," Nathan said shaking his head at her. He wasn't buying her act. "You know what this is."

"What it, Nathan?" Haley pressed him. She just wanted to hear him say it.

"This is _us_, Haley; _you and me._ The way it should be. I still want everything we talked about."

"So do I," she said happily.

"So it's settled then! Six kids. We can start tonight—"

"Nathan!"

"Fine. I'll make an honest woman of you first. Tomorrow. Let's—"

Haley knew exactly where he was going with this. She put her hand up for him to stop. He looked at her, hurt and disappointed. She quickly tried to explain. "Nathan, you need to have faith in us. We have some things we need to work out and we will. There's no need to run off and get married."

"I don't want to lose you, again."

"I know….and I don't want to lose you…Faith, Nathan. Have some faith." Haley saw that he wasn't happy, but was accepting this. "And now, I'd like my ring back, please." Haley narrowed her eyes and put her hand out, palm first.

Nathan smiled as took the chain off his neck, took the ring off the chain, but brushed away Haley's palm. "I want to put it on you."

Haley smiled back as turned over her hand for me.

Nathan slid the ring onto her pinky finger and then brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Let me see this." Nathan held his hand up straight and Haley put her hand up against his. "Your hands are so small." He then began examining her ring finger. "What size is this?"

"4 ½," Haley beamed.

"So small…just to be clear…you would want me to get you a ring for this finger?" He asked holding her ring finger.

"I would," Haley beamed.

Nathan brought her hand back to her mouth and kissed it again. "Then that's what I'll do."

* * *

Haley was nestled comfortably in Nathan's arms with a sense of peace and happiness that she hadn't imagined was possible. "Is this real, Nathan?"

Nathan hugged her tight and kissed her head. "It better be, because this is the best night of my life."

Haley gave him a soft kiss and then returned her head to his chest.

"How are you feeling, Hales?"

"Amazing. Happy. Safe."

"Safe?" Nathan asked skeptically. He had heard her say that earlier but had his reservations.

"Yes," Haley said meeting his eyes. "I feel safe in your arms, Nathan." Haley saw that Nathan looked bothered by this. It was now time for her to tell him about her perspective from that horrible day. "You saved my life, Nathan."

"No, Haley, I—"

"You did. _I _was the one who left _you_ on that boat, Nathan. _You_ wanted to talk it out…and I just ran. I knew what a jerk he was and yet, _I_ took his hand. _I _let him help me. If you didn't come when you did,…he would have killed me. There was no going back for him. He wouldn't have let me live."

"I don't know," Nathan sighed.

"Look, it doesn't matter. All that matters is right now…and right now, I feel safe with you. Do you understand how big that is? No one else can make me feel this way. No one else makes me feel special like you do. No one else can…"

Nathan noticed the blush on Haley's cheeks and realized that she had trailed off. "What? No one else can what?"

"I thought there something wrong with me," Haley said quietly.

"What?" Nathan asked incredulously as he turned on his side so he could look at her.

Haley took a deep breath. "When we were together, Nathan…I've never felt that way with anyone else. I've never…" Haley trailed off as her cheeks turned a shade of deeper red.

"No," Nathan said shocked. "Haley,…are you talking about an orgasm?"

Haley nodded and Nathan shook his head in disgust. "Not just that though. Even just kissing you, Nathan. Everything between us…every touch…it means something." Haley looked closely at Nathan. His jaw was clenched and he looked angry. He probably didn't want to think about her with other guys as they lied naked together in bed. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that. I was only with two guys, Nathan and it was a mistake—"

"That guy you brought to the Duke game," Nathan said through his clenched teeth.

"He brought me—"

"That fucking selfish bastard! How could he not take care of you? I knew he wasn't a real man. I could tell that just by looking at him! Did he hurt you? Tell me, Haley, because if he did—"

"No, Nathan," Haley said putt her arm on his rapidly beating heart trying to calm him. "He wasn't like that. It was me, Nathan. I never gave him real a shot. I tried—"

"Don't tell me that, Haley. I'm a guy and I know how it works. He just got what he wanted from you—"

"Nathan, stop. Listen to me." Haley sighed in frustration and waited for Nathan's full attention before continuing. "He was sweet and patient. He was what I needed then…it just wasn't enough. I shouldn't have let it get as far as it did. I just wanted so bad to be normal and it was me who lead him on."

"But he knew, Haley. He had to know he wasn't taking care of you."

"I don't think he did….It was his first time….and I kind of didn't let him know," Haley said guiltily.

"You faked it?"

"I guess….It was only twice anyway. It totally turned me off from sex. That was when I started to realize that I didn't belong in a relationship."

Nathan chuckled softly. "That guy was a tool, Haley. I'm telling you; fucking clueless."

"He didn't have a body like yours, Nathan!"

Nathan couldn't deny it felt good to hear her say that. "He didn't?" He asked with a huge smirk.

"No," Haley said rolling her eyes. She knew how this was feeding his ego, but she couldn't deny that Chase didn't have half the body of Nathan's.

"Was the other guy the one from the pub?"

"That was my worst mistake, Nathan. I can't believe I did that. I never did that before, I swear!—"

"Haley, you don't have to explain. That guy took advantage of you. I saw the whole thing. I should have stepped in—"

"No, it was my fault, Nathan. Again, I was just confused—"

"I want to know is if he hurt you. Did he force himself on you? Do I need to take that sketchy prick out?"

"No, he didn't. It was so fast…I didn't feel anything….I mean we were both drunk and he was only wanted one thing, but I knew that." Haley saw that Nathan wasn't satisfied with this answer. "You're not going to do anything? Nathan, you're not going to, like, find him, are you?"

"No, but if I ever see Chris Keller again, I'm going to take care of him," Nathan said with certainty.

Haley just shook her head and moved her hands to the back of his neck. "You're kind of sexy when you're jealous."

"You think I'm sexy?" Nathan said running his hand down her back.

"So sexy," Haley purred.

Lust flowed through Nathan's body as he licked his lips and then pushed Haley onto her back. A few kisses later, Nathan was certain what directions things were headed in…and he was excited; seriously excited to be able to prove himself once again to Hale and show her how a guy should take care of a woman.

Everything quickly changed as Haley threw him for a loop.

Haley pulled away from their intense kisses. "Nathan, what about you? How many women have you been with?"

Nathan immediately rolled off of Haley and onto his back. Fuck, this was a conversation he did not want to have.

Haley had expected that that Nathan had been with many women. She had heard the stories and read the gossip columns. She hadn't believed everything, but his silence was starting to scare her. She slowly shifted on top of him in an effort to keep him from shutting her out. "Nathan, tell me."

"Trust me, Hales. We don't want to talk about this."

"Was it too many to count?"

"No, but I would have to think about it. Look, none of it meant anything."

"It was just sex?"

"Not even. It was just fucking, Haley. There's a difference. Just a series of one-time deals…I really don't want to talk about this…"

"Tell me about the rules, then."

Nathan offered her a weak smile. "I could do that." Nathan shifted them back to their sides. "You ready?"

"Yes."

"Rule number one: Always use a condom." Nathan smiled knowing at Haley.

"That's important. Smart."

"You like that one?"

"I do. No little Scotts running around."

Nathan laughed and winked at Haley. "Not yet, anyway."

"Right," Haley laughed. "Continue."

"Rule number two: No kissing. I mean real kissing. Like this…." Nathan immediately brought Haley's lips to his and kissed her deeply.

They were both smiling as they pulled apart. "Girls actually went for that?"

"Girls can be just as bad as guys. You have no idea how many of them just throw themselves—"

Haley put her hand to his mouth indicating she did not want to hear any more about that.

"Sorry. So, yeah, I was hoping with that one no one would get any ideas about it meaning anything."

"What about that girl in the paper? Katie?"

"Psycho Katie, I call her. She was a mistake. She got some ideas in her head…She meant nothing. Haley, I was drunk when I was with girls, okay? I don't know if that makes it better or not, but that's the truth. I'm never going to be that way with you. I'm not going to drink when I'm with you."

"You don't have to do that, Nathan. We're both adults—"

"I can't, Haley. I want to protect you. You tell me you feel safe with me, and after what happened, I don't pretend to understand that, but…I'm going to protect you the best way I know how."

Haley saw there was no point in discussing this further. She just hoped that one day, she wouldn't need to be protected anymore and then maybe Nathan could learn to trust himself again. "Were there anymore rules?"

"Rule number three: No spending the night."

"That's the first rule we broke, huh?"

"Haley, I knew the second we were headed to this room we were going to end up in bed together. Didn't you?"

"I kind of thought you might jump me that tiny conference room."

"I almost did," Nathan confessed.

"I'm glad you didn't…This was…just right."

"It was," Nathan agreed. "Okay, rule number four: Girls only get one shot with Nathan Scott. No repeats and that includes second rounds."

"That's a stupid rule," Haley noted, causing Nathan to laugh.

"Oh you think so, huh?"

Haley nodded seriously.

"Haley, do you remember that night we spent together?"

"Of course, I do! I would never forget that night!"

"Well, neither could I. I never wanted to be that way with anyone else."

Haley felt her heart melt. These rules…that's what they all about. It had nothing to do with wanting to play the field or not settle down. It was all about what they had shared that night. "Oh, Nathan." Haley gave him a quick mushy kiss and then looked at him and smiled. "That night changed me too. I didn't know it then, but it did and it just scared me so much. But I'm not scared anymore. I just want to be with you."

"You have no idea how good it makes me feel hear you say that."

"Good," Haley said happily. "Was that it? Four rules?"

Nathan looked away and tried to hide his embarrassment as he thought of his last rule.

"What? Tell me, Nathan. It's not going to change anything, I swear. We're together now and that's all that matters."

"I didn't really tell this rule to girls. I just kind of made sure it never happened."

Now, Haley was really curious. "What? What was it?"

"Remember that night…how you kind of took charge of me?" Nathan's cheeks were flushed as he said this.

Haley looked at him completely amused. He looked ashamed….and totally cute as he tried to hide this. "Yes, I remember." The truth was she had been embarrassed by this herself, but she had never seen it though his eyes and considered that he could be embarrassed by it as well.

"I wouldn't let anyone do that," Nathan said softly.

"Just me?"

"Only you," Nathan confirmed.

Haley pushed into him, causing him to fall on his back. She moved directly on top of him and put her hands on his shoulders.

"So,…I'm thinking…We can break the last two rules at once?" Haley said with a wicked smiled.

"Oh God," Nathan muttered just before Haley's lips crashed on his.

* * *

"What time is it?" Haley asked sleepily.

Nathan twisted around and then quickly turned his attention back to the naked Haley that was wrapped in his arms. "Five a.m. You tired, baby? Did I keep you up too late?" Nathan teased.

"I'm not complaining, believe me," Haley chuckled.

"Good, because I keep my promises, Haley."

Haley laughed. He had kept his promise alright. They had spent the night kissing, holding each other, talking and making love. In fact, just a short while ago, Nathan had finished making love to her like he had something to prove. It had been both torturous and exhilarating as he kept himself going as long as he could, fluctuating between doing things to her that made her scream and then slowing things back down causing her to moan. She had been loud, she couldn't deny that, but she didn't really want to either. That was how Nathan made her feel and she wasn't ashamed of that. In truth, she actually liked how that seemed to turn him on.

"I should probably go, Haley," Nathan said reluctantly.

Haley tightened her grip on him. "No! I knew I shouldn't have asked what time it was!"

"I don't want to go….I just need sleep. I have a game tonight and all the Boston fans would be upset with you if when I got put into play and I had to drag my ass across the court."

Haley kept her grip on him and pouted. "But, Nathan! Did you forget? I'm your biggest fan."

"Right. How could I forget?...So, are you coming to my game? You can go to the box seats for family. I could introduce you to some of them—"

"I can't do that," Haley said definitively. "Not yet."

"What?"

"I can't be seen, Nathan. I was really careful coming here. I used my fake name and i.d.—"

"No one sees you in the box, Haley—"

"I have to talk with Derek. He'll know what's safe—"

"Derek." Nathan's tone made his feelings about the guy perfectly clear.

"Nathan, I know you won't work with him, but I do and he's always—"

"There for you when I wasn't?"

Haley looked at Nathan confused. "Are you jealous, Nathan? Jealous of Derek?"

"You just told me you have to ask him if it's okay if you go to my game. I thought you said that you felt safe with me."

"I do…It's more complicated than that and you know it….I have to be careful, Nathan."

"Fine. Whatever."

"You're mad?"

"I'm aggravated," Nathan clarified. "I don't trust the guy."

"Well, I do. Just let me tell him about us. Let me see what he says."

"What if he tells you to stop seeing me?"

"Nathan, no one,… not Derek,…not Rachel,…not even Damien, is going to change my mind about us."

"What if he tells you it's not safe?"

"We'll deal with it, Nathan; you and me. Despite what you might think, I'm not asking for his permission. I'm telling him about a big change in my life and I'm getting some professional advice."

"Okay," Nathan said flippantly.

"Baby, I know you don't trust him, but you trust me, right? And you want me safe?"

"You don't have to ask that, Haley, do you?"

"No, but I want you think about that." Haley put her foot over Nathan's. "Stop tapping your foot like that!"

"Sorry," Nathan sighed. "I'll deal with this, okay. If this is what it takes to be with you, I'll deal."

"We'll figure it out," Haley promised.

"So what are your plans then? How long are you in Chicago?"

"Until Friday. What about you?"

"I fly out tomorrow afternoon."

"You're back in Boston in a week?" Haley grimaced.

"Yeah, but only for two days. Why? You can fly out you know, Haley. I mean you can join me—"

"It's not that. When you get back to Boston, I have a workshop a couple of hours away. I won't be around the two days you're home."

"Like you said, we'll figure it out. What kind of workshop is it, Hales? Are you running it?"

"No," Haley said quickly. "I don't do that kind of thing. I'm just attending it. It's for non-profit organizations and how to manage finances."

"Haley, the work you're doing is amazing. You have no idea how much I respect what you're doing."

Haley shook her head, unable to accept the compliment. "I just fell into this, Nathan."

"But you love it, right? I saw you working with that lady. You were really helping her, Hales."

"I love helping people. I don't necessarily love what I'm doing. I don't like talking about violence…and my group deals with domestic abuse. That's not what happened to me. At least this place here in Chicago, deals with all kinds of issues women face."

"You know, I have lots of money…you could always start your own organization."

"I couldn't do that."

"You could. Haley, you could lead a workshop, give a presentation, start a non-profit organization. You could do it all….and if it's money you need…well, you have it."

"Thank you," Haley said appreciatively. She leaned in gave him a slow, tender kiss. Not satisfied, she leaned in and gave him another one. Then another. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Nathan returned her gratitude with some of his own with his own series of soft kisses. "You're not going to let me leave, are you?"

"Do you really have to? When are we going to get to see each other again?"

"Seriously? Tonight, Haley. I'll come by after my game."

"And spend the night?"

"Yeah, obviously….Haley, I want to be with you much as I can. Every night I can, I want to sleep with you."

"Except we'll actually have to do some sleeping," Haley joked.

"If you'll let me….Which leads me back to—"

"You have to go." Haley sighed in frustration.

Nathan wiggled his way out of Haley's grip and fished around for his boxers. Once he put them on, he peeked around on the floor and found his old t-shirt, which was now Haley's, and threw it at her.

Nathan spent a few minutes in the bathroom, changed back into his clothes, and then headed back to the bed, his shoes in hand. He smiled at the sight of Haley fiddling with the ring on her pinky. The thought of putting another ring on that hand excited him immensely.

He took a seat on the bed and began to put on his shoes, as Haley popped up from behind him, put her arms and his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Have you talked to Nino lately?" Haley asked curiously.

"Nino? Where did that come from?"

"I think about him sometimes. It would be fun to call him, don't you think? And tell him?"

Finished putting on his shoes, Nathan shifted around to face Haley. "The first person you want to call is Nino?"

"No, I guess not, but I do want to talk to him or see him."

"I play Detroit next month and I usually stay at his place a night when that happens. If you can wait, we can surprise him then. You can see his house and meet his three kids."

"Three?" Haley pictured this in her head and smiled. "That's sounds fun."

"So who do you to tell first then, by phone anyway?"

"You know who the mastermind is behind this is, right?"

Nathan shook his head and smiled. "You can call Luke."

"We can do it together."

"No. You call him, Haley. Really."

Haley looked at him unconvinced.

"He told me how you asked him to watch out for me and he has. I just hate to think how that must have changed things between you two."

"We're still pretty close. I just had to hold back a little." A little…that was a lie, but Haley didn't want Nathan to feel bad. Haley took Nathan's hand in hers. "I'm glad you had people there for you, Nathan. People like Nino and Lucas…"

"I actually have a lot of people to thank, Haley. My attorney back then, Andy, my agent, Clay, Tony—you saw him earlier—we've become tight, and my aunt and uncle! Man, they're like my parents!" Nathan looked seriously at Haley. "And your mom."

"My mom?"

"You didn't know?"

Haley was stunned. She shook her head.

"Yeah. She was real good to me. We kept in touch."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"I'm not sure but I didn't want her to, anyway. We didn't really talk about you. I couldn't do that with her. I was just grateful to have her in my life."

"You were always close," Haley said understanding. "I want to tell her in person about us. I want to see you two together."

"Okay…when I play Miami; that's not too far away. You know, I'm pretty sure she never stopped rooting for me, Hales. I think she's the reason you ended up at the Duke game."

"Really?...She did try and talk to me, Nathan. I just…wouldn't listen. I was convinced you hated me. That fight we had was horrible…and I thought you honestly didn't want to be with me anymore…That it was all too much."

"The last part of that was true. With your dad, my dad, the trial…trying to get my head back for Duke…it all was too much. But, I should have fought harder and I was about to, Haley. I had just hit my bottom."

"You got shot and I wasn't there for you," Haley said sadly.

"It's fine, Hales. Like you said,...I had people there for me. What about you? I hope you had people in your life…I'd like to hear about and meet some of the new people in your life."

"Yeah," Haley nodded. Another lie…She just hadn't been able to let people in her life the way Nathan had. Her family had tried to be supportive, but her siblings all had their own hectic lives and the physical separation didn't help. Then with the friends she did have, she didn't do a great job of letting them help her. The only person she had every really talked to was Rachel. They had talked a lot when they were younger about the attack…but then it all stopped. Haley had just pushed it deep down inside of her. It was the only thing she knew how to do and Rachel seemed fine with that. She had clearly picked the wrong person to confide in. Haley brushed the anger that was creeping up inside her away. She would deal with Rachel and all her manipulations later.

Nathan stood up and looked over his appearance. "So what you think? Am I ready to do the walk of shame or what?"

Haley laughed and stood up as well. "I think you look great. So, you'll come back tonight? After your game?"

"Yeah, but it's a late game. Doesn't start until nine. I'll be pretty late…but I'll just call you…Wait." Nathan pulled Haley up against him. "I don't have your phone number."

"Nathan,…" Haley said biting her lip.

"Seriously, Hales?" Nathan said disappointedly as he pulled away from her.

"I just want Derek to run a check on your phone. The Wests are into tapping lines and listening in on calls. I have to be here alone after you're gone and I don't want to have to worry about someone finding out I'm here—"

"I'm not going to fight with you about this, Haley. If you don't give me your number, than I can't get in touch with you. It's as simple as that."

"I'll figure something out quick today. You're still coming back tonight, right?"

Nathan put his arms back around Haley. "Try and stop me."

They began to kiss and before long, Nathan had pushed Haley back onto the bed. As Nathan's tongue entered her mouth, Haley began unbuttoning his shirt.

Nathan stopped kissing her and smiled as his hand running up and down her bare thigh. Then he turned serious. "Haley, what time do you have get going today?"

Haley looked guilty and shrugged.

"Haley," Nathan said sternly.

"I'm supposed to be there at nine—" Just as Haley feared, Nathan was off her and rebuttoning his shirt before she could finish. "But I can go in late!"

"You need to sleep. Probably more than me." Nathan leaned back on the bed and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "Go back to bed, baby."

"Nathan!"

Nathan stopped at the door and looked back at Haley and smirked. "We'll get back to that later, Haley, I promise. Oh, and I left that check for you in my coat. I'll bring it tonight."

"Ha!" Haley scoffed.

Nathan slowly backed away from the door. "I didn't mean how that sounded."

"Just go!" Haley took one of the pillows and threw it at him.

Nathan grinned. "I missed this. I missed you." Then he turned around and left.

As Haley got back into bed, she had serious doubts she would be able to sleep. She assumed she would be far too excited. Instead, as soon as she closed her eyes, a calmness fell over her and she drifted off to into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Haley breathlessly flew into the office, only stopping briefly to hand up her coat and apologize to the volunteer working the front desk, which much to her relief was not Lucy. The only thing working for her in an organization running mostly off of the work of volunteers was that there was no one really to hold her accountable for the times she had agreed to volunteer. Overall, this was not good for management of the organization, but was nice for Haley in this situation since she had overslept and was arriving two hours late.

Once Haley was settled, she made her way into the computer room, which she had found out quickly was the most utilized rooms they had. This left her with a desire to have a similar set up back in Boston. It was definitely at the top of her list for ways to use any money they received from future grants….or from Nathan's foundation.

She smiled at the thought of Nathan and his foundation. She now fully realized this was just one of the ways that he had tried to work his way back into her life. She wondered how long he had felt that way…when things had changed for him since at one point he did seem to push her way…If she had to guess it would be the Duke game…That's when things changed for her. They should have talked after that game like they were supposed to.

It hadn't taken Haley much time to become convinced that one of their biggest obstacles in reconnecting was Rachel. She clearly remembered Rachel taking a call from Nathan around that time. Rachel told her that he didn't want to talk to her. It had broken her heart. Then most recently, there were the flowers…In Haley's opinion, throwing those flowers, her flowers, into the garbage…letting her think there was a possibility it was from some creepy stalker…that was fucking malicious. She was guessing there was much more where that came from and she was determined to sit down with Nathan at some point and figure it all out. She was not going to let this go and at some point, she was going to let Rachel have it.

The only thing throwing her off as she began to analyze every detail about Nathan's desire to be with her was how he almost walked out on her last night. She knew why…he was scared by the intensity of their feelings…his flashbacks…facing what happened…but she also wasn't sure what would have happened if she hadn't stopped him. Would he really have come right back? And what about now that he had some time on his own to reflect about what happened? Would those thoughts that made him want to leave in the first place return? Would he talk himself out of going back? Of returning to her?

No, he wouldn't. She had to have faith. She had told him to have faith in her and their relationship and she needed to do the same. It was only fair. That had been one her biggest mistakes and regrets after their first night together…the first time they made love. She hadn't had enough faith in him and what they shared, but she was young and inexperienced then. She was not going to make that mistake again.

Once in the computer room, Haley silently chided herself for being so late because there was a small group of women in there working, most of them where those that attended the previous day's workshop. They obviously needed more help working on their résumés and she should have been there to help them.

"I'm so sorry," Haley said apologetically.

All the ladies turned around and looked at Haley excitedly.

"What do you need help with?"

"Help! I'll tell you what you can help with; give us all the details from last night!" Erin said anxiously.

Haley was surprised. "I meant the résumés…Erin, you finished yours. I wasn't expecting to see you today."

"I'll only speak for myself," Erin said looking around, "but I came just to find out what happened. That whole thing you had going with the guy yesterday seemed better than any daytime soap opera!"

"That's why I came too."

"Me too."

"Not me, but I really want in on this. Start at the beginning."

Haley immediately felt nervous. She was always warned about sharing the personal details of her life with strangers. It was undoubtedly one of reasons why she had trouble opening up to people and making new friends. The reality was Damien West was still out there and he still wanted her dead.

So as she always did, Haley began to quickly edit out the details in her head before she spoke. She told them the things they wanted to hear, careful to keep out anything that might give out who she really was and who Nathan was since there was always a chance that information could end up in the wrong hands.

* * *

After her discussion with the ladies at the organization, Haley was excited about the upcoming night. After she left, she had done a little shopping, picking up some things to help her prepare for the night, including a fancy, satin nightgown that had a severe slit on the side that traveled up to the waistline. It was cream, sleeveless and had a lace-trimmed v-neck. It had been very expensive, but Haley didn't care. It was definitely better than the t-shirt and sweatpants she had packed. She also bought two prepaid cell phones to solve their phone issues. An expensive temporary fix, but again, it was worth it.

After returning back to her hotel, Haley tried to take a nap but was too wired. She ordered some room service for dinner, but couldn't eat much of it. She was so giddy that her stomach was in knots. She planned on watching the game on tv, but still had some time to kill.

Haley picked up her phone and dialed up Lucas.

Lucas answered the phone nervously. "Tell me you're not mad."

"Lucas Eugene Scott!" Haley said severely.

"Tell me it went well."

Haley couldn't leave him hanging any longer. "It went well."

"How well?"

"Very well."

"Very well?" Lucas asked carefully.

"Very, very well."

"Thank God! Let me get Brooke…She needs to hear this!"

"Wait…Lucas? Can we talk first? Then I can talk to Brooke? I don't mind telling the story twice."

"That well, huh?"

"That well," Haley happily confirmed.

Haley and Lucas talked for a long time after that. Haley apologized for keeping him the middle of their difficult situation and Lucas apologized for not interfering sooner. He explained he had no idea she was so unhappy or the extent to which Rachel was manipulating her until it was too late. He then gave her a long lecture for being so stubborn all these years. Then Haley opened up to Lucas. She told him about how she felt that she had been living a lie for a long time…not really living at all…how happy and excited she was about her future…how completely in love she was with Nathan…how she was even kind of scared about Damien finding out. Lucas had listened and comforted her through their entire conversation and Haley realized just how much she missed their friendship and how sorry she was for pushing him away.

Afterwards, Haley talked to Brooke and shared all the dirty details that she didn't dare share with Lucas. Brooke was giddy, to say the least, and happy for her and Nathan and for herself, of course, since all this would undoubtedly be good karma for her wedding.

It was towards the end of the conversation that Brooke inadvertently said some things that bothered Haley. Haley had told her how Nathan almost left, but how she had somehow got through to him. Brooke told her she feared he might do something like that. She said she knew he still believed deep down that he wasn't good enough for her. This disturbed Haley as it was something not entirely new to their relationship. He had felt the same way the summer he pushed her away before they started dating. It was as if when he was away from her, he got these ideas stuck in his head, but as long as he was with her, she was able to convince him they wasn't true. _But he needed to be around her_. He needed to _feel_ that connection they had.

So, Haley's faith was slightly shaken as she worried about Nathan coming back to her. There was a possibility he wouldn't come back that night; that he would get overwhelmed and talk himself out of that.

But she still believed he would…and if he didn't…then she would just track him down. After everything they had been through, there was no way she was letting him go….And if he did come back on his own, she would never doubt him again.

* * *

Preview of next chapter: "With or Without You" (U2)

AN: I know having the title of the final chapter the same as the story is probably breaking some literary rule. My point is, just like in the other parts of my stories, the song has deeper meaning at the end of the story. Same will be true part two:_ Far Away_, which not just about physical separation, but an emotional one as well.

I have to admit, I'm not crazy about this chapter. Maybe it's because I am enjoying what I am writing right now so much more! But thanks for reading anyway! Just one more short chapter to tie this all up! Then I will give you a preview of things in _Far Away_ and ask you for some feedback for that story.

Thanks again for all you support, especially my loyal readers. Even if you just reviewed or pm'ed me once, I assure you it made a difference.


	56. Chapter 55

**Disclaimer**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 55: "With or Without You" (U2)

Haley took one last look in the bathroom mirror before shutting off all the lights and getting into bed. She had on her new nightgown, had just finished on putting on some lotion and brushing her teeth. There was really nothing else to do but wait.

She looked again at the clock not understanding why Nathan wasn't there yet. The game had ended over two hours ago! She went through all the possibilities in her head of the things he would have to do after the game, such as taking a shower, going back to his hotel room, travel time to get to hers, but none of it seemed enough to keep him away for this long. She would be lying if she didn't admit to herself that she was nervous.

Haley figured it might be best if she tried to fall asleep. She hoped to be awakened by a knock at the door, but if that didn't happen, she fully planned on reaching out to Lucas to track Nathan down in the morning. She would fly to Houston if she had to. Haley closed her eyes tightly and tried to will sleep to her body.

Five minutes later, she found herself looking at the clock. She cursed herself for that involuntary movement and shut her eyes again. A minute later she jumped up. She swore she heard a knock. She hesitated. Then came another knock, this time more forceful.

Haley sprung up and jetted over to the door. Her heart was beating wildly. She just had to be sure it was him. There was no such thing as being too safe.

"Who is it?" Haley called out.

"I have some macaroni and cheese to deliver, but I'm not sure it's the right room. I was led here by a crazy woman last night who was trying to seduce me—"

Haley flung open the door. "Seduce you?"

Nathan just smirked and pushed past her, dragging his carry-on size suitcase behind him in one hand a bouquet of flowers in the other. He flung off his coat, set the suitcase aside and turned to face Haley to give her the flowers. "You heard me—"

Before he could finish, Haley had her arms around his waist and was hugging him tight; real tight-maybe a little too tight.

Nathan kissed her head and then tried to gently push her back. Gently was not working. He then used a little more strength. "Baby,…what's wrong?" Haley just looked up at intently him with her big brown eyes. He looked around the room and noticed the lights were off, the curtains were drawn and her bed was unmade. "Did you go to sleep? I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, I wasn't sleeping. It's just…you were later than I thought you would be."

Nathan sighed disappointedly. "You thought I wasn't coming."

"I was nervous," Haley admitted finally letting go of him.

"I want to be with you, Haley."

"I want to be with you, too."

"It's going to take me a while to win back your trust, huh?"

"No," Haley said assuredly shaking her head. "I trust you, completely. I trust us…what we have,…completely."

Nathan smiled and handed her the bouquet. "Here,…since you didn't get the ones I got for you earlier. It was one of the reasons I was so late."

Haley took the bouquet of purple lilies and brought them to her nose so she could take in their sweet smell. "Mmmm…These are so nice, Nathan. I love them! Thank you."

"They told me they would be fine overnight. I was thinking maybe we could go out tomorrow and do some shopping. Get you a vase…maybe some other things too…maybe some jewelry?"

"Oh, really?" Haley said excitedly putting the flowers down on top of the desk. "What time do I have you till?"

"At least noon. Think you could go in a late?" Nathan asked as he put his suitcase on the desk chair and began opening it up.

Haley turned on the dim desk light and watched as Nathan began fishing around in his suitcase. She honestly wanted to pinch herself to make sure this was real, because everything just felt so right. Here was Nathan, again in her hotel room, getting reading to spend another night with her. Unlike last night, he was dressed casually in a Nike tracksuit. He looked relaxed and comfortable as he tried to get settled in with his belongings, although he did seem to be struggling with his own disorganization as he shuffled things around in his suitcase.

"Definitely. I already told them I would be late." Haley pressed herself up against Nathan's back and put her arms around his waist. It seemed silly, but now that Nathan was finally there with her, she wanted to feel him as much as possible.

Nathan twisted around and brushed his hands up and down Haley's shoulders and arms causing her to shiver. "Did I do that to you?"

"I don't think you have any idea how you make me feel."

"I think I do." Nathan cupped her cheek and leaned down and kissed her passionately. His freehand moved down her back gliding down her silky nightgown.

"You like this?" Haley asked pulling away as she gestured towards her nightgown.

"Is it new?" Nathan asked.

"Yes."

"It's beautiful, but that's because you're beautiful."

"I forgot how romantic you could be."

"I do have one more thing for you, although it looks like you don't need it."

"What?"

Nathan turned back around to his suitcase and handed Haley two neatly folded t-shirts. Haley held them out. On the front was the Celtics logo and on the back read "Scott #12."

"Nathan!" Haley exclaimed giddily.

"Another reason I was so late….Hey, Hales, are you going to get a new tattoo now?" Nathan teased her as he tried to lift her nightgown to get a peek at her tattoo.

Haley slapped his hands away and rolled her eyes. "Maybe after you get a tattoo with my name!"

"Well, maybe I will," Nathan shot back.

"Right," Haley laughed. "Nathan, what should I wear?" Haley asked holding up one of the t-shirts.

"Doesn't matter," Nathan said, brushing past Haley heading towards the bed. He sat down on the edge and began taking off his sneakers. "Not like you're going to be wearing anything for much longer anyway."

"Nathan Scott!" Haley said feigning shock.

Finished with his shoes, Nathan looked up at Haley, cocked his head and held open his arms. Haley stifled her smile as she sauntered over him. She pushed him back a little and propped herself up on the bed over him with one knee on either side of him. She put her hands squarely on his shoulders and gave him a beam smile.

Nathan grinned. "Go easy on me tonight, huh? Don't forget I had a good game tonight."

"You did have a good game," Haley whispered into his ear as she unzipped his jacket and pushed it off. Next, she grasped at his shirt.

"Did you see that slam dunk?" Nathan asked as he helped her get his shirt off.

"I did," Haley said as she began placing kisses on his right shoulder blade.

"That was for you….So was the three-pointer when they were trying to double team me."

"What about when you stole the ball?" Haley asked as she moved her lips to his left shoulder blade.

"No, that was for the jackass who fouled me hard."

Haley stopped kissing him and looked at him seriously. "How's your back?"

Nathan sighed. He really didn't want to lie to Haley, but he didn't want to tell her the truth either. It was so much easier to ignore all the issues with his back when he thought he didn't have much of a future. Having Haley back in his life changed everything. He decided to be honest as possible without giving too much away. "It's okay. Right now, I mean. It's probably something we need to talk about."

"You don't want to talk about it now?" Haley asked seriously.

Nathan shook his head. "Not tonight. Tonight, I just want to be with you. We can talk later-even tomorrow is better if you want."

"We have a lot to talk about, huh?"

"Yeah," Nathan agreed.

"I want to talk about Rachel," Haley said hissing out her name. Nathan sighed again and yawned. Haley realized how tired he was and how tired she really was too as she fought of a yawn of her own. This all could wait. "Tomorrow," she added. Aiming for a distraction, Haley brushed her fingers along Nathan's shoulders and down his arms. "You know what my favorite part of your body is?"

Nathan gave her a sly smile. "I have a fairly good idea." He grabbed her ass and pulled it closer into contact with his growing erection.

"Nathan!" Haley chided him as she slapped his shoulder. Not wanting to move back from this tantalizing positing, Haley stayed pressed up close to him and wrapped one arm tightly around his back and put her hand on his other on his shoulder. "Actually, it's these broad shoulders."

"My shoulders? You mean so I can do this?" Nathan wrapped her in a tight bear hug causing her to squeal.

"Yes! I love being your arms like this!" Haley wiggled herself around basking in the security of his strong grip. "This is what I dreamed about..." Nathan loosened his grip on her, allowing her to bring her hands back to his shoulders. "…and it's different than I remember. You're different. Stronger…You're…a man, I guess; a very well-toned, muscular man who I feel so lucky to be with." Haley brought her hand from his shoulder to his cheek as thought about how far they had come. "We were just kids, Nathan. We made so many mistakes."

"I don't want to make any more mistakes, Haley, not with you."

"But we will…we both will, but not like before. We'll make them together or we'll be there for each other. I'm not going anywhere, Nathan."

"I don't understand why, but I can't fight it. I'm just not strong enough to fight what we have. I tried so hard to live without you….and I just can't. I can't do it, Haley, even though I know it's not right."

Haley was slightly bothered by the last part of that statement. "How can you say that?"

"Because you're taking a risk. You know you're putting your life on the line, right?"

"What I was doing with my life…it wasn't living, Nathan. I was just surviving. I don't want to just _get by_ anymore. I want to feel _alive_. I want to feel this way; the way you make me feel, like I do right now."

"I make you feel alive?" Nathan asked surprised.

"You do. You always have. I tried, Nathan. I tried to be without you too…it's not what I want. So this isn't just for you….it's for me, too. And every night I can, I want to feel these arms around me. I want to fall asleep in your arms. That's what I want to do tonight. That's what I always wanted, Nathan. You remember that night at Coop's wedding? We never got to fall asleep together."

"I know," Nathan sighed remembering how they had been called to the hospital because of his sister.

"So tonight we will? I mean last night was great, but tonight, I do want sleep."

"Yeah, we can sleep. I'm tired." Nathan tried, but couldn't hide the lust in his eyes. "You want to go to sleep right now?" He asked slowly.

"No," Haley chuckled. "Not right now….Maybe in a little bit." As if to prove her point, Haley purposely shifted up against the swell in his pants.

"Oh, okay," Nathan smiled crookedly. He quickly moved his hands up the bottom of her nightgown. "So…what do you want to do?"

"I just want to sit here like this and look at your amazing body."

"Well that's a little unfair don't you think?"

"How so?"

Nathan moved his right hand up to her breast used his thumbs to trace circles over her nipple. "This nightgown is nice, baby, but I'd like to see your amazing body."

A small blush swept across Haley's cheeks. "Nathan…"

Nathan let out a groan as he felt himself growing harder. "Haley,…you're killing me, here."

The way that Nathan was looking at her was killing her. Haley slowly began to pull up her nightgown. Once it was fully off, she blushed again as Nathan appreciatively eyed her up and down.

"You are so sexy, Hales," Nathan said his voice smoldering.

Haley pushed her weight back onto her knees, brushing her center back against his hardness, clasped her hands around his neck, and began to kiss him feverishly. One of Nathan's hands began running up and down her back, while the other began groping her breasts. Haley leaned in to him more and felt her need for him growing. She quickly pulled away, leaving Nathan's mouth and hands reaching for more. She moved to the edge of the bed and began tugging at his pants. Nathan fell back on his elbows and shifted up enough for Haley to get both his pants and boxers off. Nathan raised his eyebrows suggestively at her causing Haley to slip off her own panties.

Once Nathan saw her do that, he fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling trying to regain some sense of self-control. None of this felt real, yet he knew it was. He had spent the entire day convincing himself of that. Now he was lying on Haley's bed and he was sure it was would be the first night of many that he would spend with her; the first of a lifetime of nights sharing the same bed. It was all too good to be true. He didn't care about what happened in the past or how long they had been a part. If everything that happened between them brought them to this moment and more like it in the future, it was worth it. The waiting was over and the twists of fate that changed their lives long ago made him able to fully appreciate the love he and Haley shared and there was nothing that would make him let go of that again.

Once again, Haley's eyes widened as she took in the sight of a fully turned on Nathan who was now lying flat on his back. She honestly wasn't sure she could get used to this! It was comforting, however, to see that Nathan was just as anxious to get going at she was. Seeing as how Nathan wasn't moving, Haley assumed that it was up to her to get things going. She got back on the bed and slid her body on top of his. As she began kissing him, she felt his hands grasping her ass. Haley began reveling in his touch as she moved her mouth to his neck, where she let her tongue trace circles over his flesh.

"You have a serious ass, Haley James," Nathan muttered. "And that tongue…"

Haley sat upright, again surprising Nathan. She was more than ready to continue but still wanted to feel his body against hers. She looked him over and then leaned down and grabbed at his shoulders and attempting to pull him up.

Nathan grinned at her amused and sat himself up, resting his weight on the palm of his hands. "What? You want me like this?"

Haley shrugged and blushed. She tried to position herself like she was earlier. She placed one knee on either side of him, rested her weight there, and shifted up and put her arms around his neck. Slightly embarrassed, but still confident enough to be this way with Nathan, she rested her forehead on his. "I want to stay close to you like this."

"You want to make love like this?" Nathan whispered huskily.

"Can we?" Haley questioned him seriously.

"Haley, we can make love any way you want. There are so many different ways I want to make love to you. Do you have any idea—"

Haley interrupted Nathan with a kiss. "I want us to do it like this. Together."

"Wait," Nathan cautioned her. He lifted her up and repositioned himself on his knees, allowing him to be completely upright, then leaned slightly back resting on his legs, and replaced Haley on top of him. "How's this?"

"This could be nice," Haley whispered as she kept one hand securely on his back and ran the other up and down his abs.

"Nice? I was thinking fucking hot."

The combination of Nathan's words and the feel of his hardness brushing up against the side of her leg was enough to drive Haley into a frenzy. She opened her legs wider and positioned his hardness at her center and then slid it inside her as she shifted her weight onto him. They both groaned as their bodies melded together. Haley still wasn't used to how good it felt to have Nathan inside of her, and this position was giving her even more pleasurable sensations than she was used to. Without thinking, she began pounding her body against his in an effort to feel as much of him as possible. Nathan began grunting which just made Haley even more forceful. It was like her body was on fire and with the heat pouring off of Nathan's body, she could tell he felt the same.

Nathan desperately held on to Haley's waist, trying to still her movements. "Haley, baby, slow it down, please."

Haley was panting as she looked at Nathan confused. "Huh?"

"I want to enjoy this. If you keep going that like that, it's all going to be over way too soon. Here." Nathan began directing her hips to slide up and down on him gently. The movement was slow and tantalizing for both of them, but it also felt extremely good. That fire dissipated a bit as slow waves of pleasure ran through both of their bodies.

"See?" Nathan whispered as he began to gently move his hips with her.

"Oh yeah," Haley moaned as she felt her entire body loosen up. She felt completely relaxed and in tuned with Nathan. "This is so good."

"Uh-huh." Nathan's hands continued to move up and down Haley's body, occasionally cradling her bouncing breasts.

At this point, Haley felt so at ease that she began to wonder how long this would last. It felt like they could do this forever. Then Haley shifted a bit and felt Nathan move deeper inside of her. She bit her lip and cried out. That fire was starting to burn again. "Even better!"

"Yeah," Nathan agreed as picked up his pace a bit.

"Oh!" Haley cried out as her own body responded to his.

Before long, their hips were moving in synch, grinding into each other forcefully.

"Nathan..I can't…I need…" Haley trailed off losing all sense of verbal communication.

Nathan read her needs by shift back up to his knees, grabbing her ass and thrusting to her forcefully three times.

Haley screamed as her body fell onto Nathan's just as he cried out her name. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled them back down onto the bed.

* * *

That night, Haley slept nestled on top of Nathan, with neither of them moving much throughout the night. Her head remained rested on Nathan's chest with one hand on the pillow next to his head and the other on his shoulder, while Nathan's hands were lightly clasped over her lower back. They slept soundly, filled with the peace, serenity and love they had been searching for. Both now understood that despite their haunted past, dangerous present and uncertain future, they belonged wrapped in other's arms just like that. They belonged with each other, not without and no matter what lied ahead, they would never lose sight of that or take what they had for granted. They had been far away for far too long.

* * *

Preview of _Far Away_:After years of separation, Haley and Nathan are committed to spending their lives together, but struggle with integrating their lives as they face opposition to their relationship, threats to their lives, and finally dealing with the issues that drove them apart.

Issues addressed in Far Away (in no particular order)

Nathan's back injury and its effect on his career

Haley's career aspirations and her current job

Haley's anger towards Rachel

Nathan's protectiveness over Haley

Nathan and Jimmy's strained relationship

Derek's trustworthiness

Living in the public eye while being threatened

Haley finally dealing with her attack and her tendency to run from her problems

Nathan's guilt over the attack

Major Events (in no particular order)

Brooke and Lucas' wedding

Nathan's foundation fundraiser

Haley meeting Clay

Visiting Nino

Vising the James

AN: Looking for feedback for part two….What are you looking forward to? What are you not interested in? I am currently writing chapter 10 and the one area I am struggling with is how much to include about the secondary characters. Do you want to read entire chapters about the six friends? A whole chapter about Nino? So far, I have kept the focus on Naley and sprinkled in the others, but I can extend and switch around some things. It will just end up being a longer story and take me longer to write! No matter to me, because I have everything mapped out and that won't change, but I am willing to work in some extras. So the request line is open! Pm if you want or leave a thought in a review. I hope to post the prologue in the next week, but I won't promise that. The chapters for _Far Away_ are sooo long so it is taking me long to finish them, and I'm still sick and working two jobs, seven days a week! My second job ends in two weeks though!

I am now comfortable making you some promises in this Naley story with all its parts. First, I will never write cheating or serious third party issues, but expect misunderstandings and jealousy! Also, they are together; like, that's confirmed…but lots of drama, tragedy, fights, but also makeups, romance and fun. Part two is very psychological, which may be boring to some readers, which is why I made the break here. I hope you continue on, but respect it if you don't.

I am also working on short story_ Listen to Your Heart_. It is only five to six chapters and is very unoriginal and clichéd, but suspenseful and psychological. Watch out for that if you're interested.

Thank you for reading this story! I hope I gave some sense of closure to those of you that want the story to end here. I appreciate every reader, reviewer and those that gave me personal feedback and support. I have what I consider to be a highly stressful, but meaningful job I love. I have also had a fair share of tragedy in my life, enough to last I lifetime, I hope. Dealing with these things are overwhelming at times. Running and writing is what keeps me from going crazy and allows me to function socially with my family and friends in a sane, intelligent manner. Writing is a great creative outlet and I'm very grateful to be able to share that with you! I highly recommend it to those of you that need an outlet as well. Thanks again!


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